WHICH RELATES A CURIOUS CONVERSATION THAT TOOK PLACE WHEN THEY
REACHED THE HOUSE OF ANGELIO'S PARENTS.
As it would be impossible to describe, within the limits to which I
am bound as writer of this history, the many curious things that
took place when they reached the home of Angelio, I must content
myself by stating that the general was cordially received by her
aged parents, who set before him the best fare their humble
condition afforded, such being the custom of the country. They also
hastened to provide for his mule. In short, nothing was left undone
that could in any way add to the comfort of man and beast; and
though their cabin was built of logs and reeds, more perfect
happiness was not to be found under any roof. When then, the general
had refreshed himself, Angelio sung to him, brought him flowers,
took his hand in her own, and so cheered his drooping spirits that
he forthwith commenced, and gave Mr. Tickler an account of all that
had befallen him since they parted, not even forgetting to mention
the death of old Battle, and the wonderful exploit by which it was
brought about; all of which has been truthfully recorded, and need
not be repeated here. And when he was finished, he requested Mr.
Tickler to give him an account of how he came to be so comfortably
situated. "Honestly, your excellency," replied Mr. Tickler, "though
it cannot be said of me that I have faults as a critic, I confess to
have weaknesses which are strong in the nature, as it is called; and
these weaknesses run to making love, which is a passion with me."
"Pray, sir," interrupted the general, with a nod, "remember that men
of your profession cannot lay exclusive claim to this, for it is
common to the soldier, and indeed the very best proof of his
gallantry."
"That may be," resumed the critic, "I know but little of soldiering;
though give me the pen and I can fight a good stroke. Seeing that
you were bent on having a war, which I saw would result in no end of
bloody battles. 'Orlando Tickler,' said I to myself, 'to them that
likes with the war, and do you keep at a safe distance; for when
swords are clashing there's no knowing one minute where a man's head
may be the very next.' So while your excellency was surrounded by
your generals, and had all your thoughts fixed on conquering the
kingdom, I rode my mule into the very grove where we met, intending
there to spend the night, proceed to Jolliffee in the morning, and
seek my way home as best I could. In truth, I felt my poverty
pinching, and I was hungry."
"Two human ills no amount of courage can overcome," rejoined the
general, with a patronizing bow.
"It was midnight when I fell asleep, having quenched my thirst, at
the spring; but the thought of home seriously disturbed my slumbers.
However, as morning advanced, I got into a deep sleep, from which I
awoke when the sun was up; and hearing the voice of Angelio, which
floated soft and sweetly through the grove, as she sang a plaintive
song, I fancied myself transported into a fairy land. Now, I must
tell you that this innocent girl, as I am told by a priest, and know
of myself, had a lover who died not long since, and was buried in
this grove, at the foot of a palm-tree. And so strong was her
affection for him, that she regularly paid her devotions at his
grave. The hour chosen for giving this proof of her grief being
early morning, she would pluck wild flowers, fresh with dew, and
scatter them over his grave, which was all that heaven had spared to
heal her wounded heart. She was on one of these errands of devotion,
then, when we met. And here I must tell you, that notwithstanding my
mule was gone, she was so surprised at seeing me, that to preserve
her innocence she would have run terrified to her home, had it not
been that I made such signs as convinced her I was no enemy. As her
courage returned, I approached cautiously, and soon had the
satisfaction to see her sit down upon the trunk of a fallen tree,
where we met as hearts moved by true sympathy only can meet. As she
spoke in Spanish, I could not understand a word she said; nor could
she understand me; but as kindness begets kindness, it soon came to
pass that our affections flowed in one stream; and though the
gushing was rapid, it seemed as if the fountain would never dry.
"It may surprise you not a little that this was brought about so
suddenly; but if your excellency was as well skilled in these love
affairs as he is in directing a great battle, he would have no
trouble in understanding it."
"Faith! and I have had some experience in these matters, as my wife
Polly can tell you."
"Well," resumed Tickler, "I wiped the tears from her eyes, kissed
and kissed her blushing cheeks; and, in truth, offered her so many
proofs of my sincerity, that she returned it with three-fold
interest. Then she led me to the cabin of her parents, who gave me a
warm welcome, and have ever since strove to make my happiness
complete. And now, to shorten the story, I will just tell your
excellency, that having given such proofs of our affections as none
could mistake, a priest was called in, and we were married on the
very next morning. And as you will see that Angelio is possessed of
charms no critic could possibly resist, I will say here, that from
that hour nothing has occured to mar the bright stream of our love,
except that Angelio still continues to strew the grave of her first
lover with flowers."
"Upon my honor, as a soldier, sir, I never was more delighted in my
life. And as the word of a critic is not to be doubted, I take what
you say for truth, and am not surprised that you choose this
delightful enjoyment in preference to mixing up in the affairs of
war," spoke the general, as Mr. Tickler concluded his story. "But
pray tell me, sir, have you no tidings of my army?" the general
inquired, in a manner so confused as to show that his thoughts had
been wandering to his military exploits. "Having lost my kingdom, it
would be some relief to know which way my army has strayed."
"That I was going to speak of, but it escaped me. You must know,
then, that a priest came in a few days ago, (and he is no liar!) and
reported that 'these vagabonds,' meaning your excellency's army,
were scattered all over the country, and were in a sad plight, many
of them dying of hunger."
"Good enough for them!" replied the general, to Mr. Tickler's utter
astonishment. "And if every general be not hanged before he gets out
of the country, then you may set it down that the devil is on their
side; for it was by their disorders I lost my kingdom."
"What! and has your excellency given up the command of his army?"
"Honestly, friend Tickler, though I have a rare talent for
commanding, I would defy the devil to keep order in this army sent
me by Glenmoregain. As for the kingdom, I resign that like an
honorable man: and if this ambitious gentleman wants it still, let
him employ another general, for I am resolved to get home where
peace reigns, and I can go to bed without fear of being hanged in
the morning. Yes, sir, I am resolved to wash my hands of all these
vanities, and employ whatever means will carry me quickest out of
the country."
"By the saints, general, it has never been my good fortune to hear
you talk so sensible. And if you will just come into the garden you
shall know more of my inclinations in this matter." They now sallied
out into the garden and took seats beneath some pomegranate trees,
the night being clear, and the moon shedding a bright light over the
landscape. Feeling sure no one would overhear him, Mr. Tickler said
to the general: "I would have you know, sir, that nothing would so
grieve me as to break faith with my Angelio. But how can a man
brought up to the excitements of New York life content himself in a
desert, where there is neither opera nor balls to go to? And though
my love for Angelio knows no bounds, there are damsels at home for
whom I have a curious longing. Since, then, you are resolved to get
out of the country, I will give it out that I am resolved to
accompany you to Jolliffee, promising to return when I have seen you
safe on your journey. And when we are there, seeing that it will be
no difficult matter for Angelio to get another lover, I will keep
your excellency company to New York."
"Honestly, friend Tickler," replied the general, "I see you are a
great rogue, and no exception to your calling. Albeit, if you choose
to leave so kind a damsel, and have no fear of her heart and your
own reputation, why, so let it be." And now, scrupulously as I
respect the high honor which rules among critics in general, my love
for truth constrains me here to record, notwithstanding it may do
serious damage to the literary reputation of this history, that this
colloquy ended with arranging a plan by which Mr. Tickler was to
betray Angelio, and leave her the wreck of a broken heart.
For three days, then, did General Potter enjoy the hospitalities of
this humble cottage, Angelio cutting up the priest's gown and making
it into raiment, which she saw he stood much in need of. She
likewise busied herself in preparing food for their refreshment on
the road, for the husband in whom she placed so much trust, and
whose promise, as conveyed to her by the priest, she held as sacred,
had discovered to her his intention to bear the general company as
far as Jolliffee. Early on the following morning, then, having
completed their arrangements, Mr. Tickler kissed and took a fond
leave of his Angelio, mounted his mule, and left her, never to
return. In another minute they were coursing down the road on their
journey, Angelio and her parents offering up prayers for their
safety.