THE INITIATION.
My visit to the rectory resulted in an intimacy which made me to such
extent a member of the family as to remove all obstacles to the
collaboration required of us. It was soon made evident that not only our
association, but her design of seeking a medical education was for both
of us an indispensable element in our preparation for our now recognised
joint-mission. In its general aspect that mission had for its purpose
the overthrow of Materialism, and in order to qualify us for it, it was
deemed necessary that we undergo a training in the most materialistic of
the world's schools. This was the University of Paris. She alone was to
seek a diploma. For me it was enough that I accompany her in her
studies, and that we submit the teachings received by her to rigid
analysis by our combined faculties. Doing this, we found ourselves
competent to declare positively the falsity of the materialistic system
on the strength both of logical processes and of practical
demonstration, by means of the experiences of which we found ourselves
the recipients. For although we had never heard of such things as
"psychic faculties,"--the very phrase was not yet invented--we found
ourselves possessed of them in such measure that no longer did the veil
which divides the world sensible from the world spiritual constitute an
impassable barrier, but both were open to view, and the latter was as
real and accessible as the former.
It was about the middle of 1876 that this remarkable accession of
faculty began to manifest itself in plenitude, I being the first to
experience it, notwithstanding my previous total lack of any faculty of
the kind, or of belief in the possibility of my having it. But the
purification which my physical system had undergone by means of my new
dietary regimen, and the constant and intense direction of my thought
inwards and upwards, the forcible concentration of my mind upon the
essential and substantial ideas of things, and this under impulsion of
an enthusiasm kindled to a white heat--an enthusiasm, as already said,
both of aspiration and of repulsion--and the enhancement of faculty
through sympathetic association,--these had so attenuated the veil that
it no longer impeded my vision of spiritual realities. And I found
myself--without seeking for or expecting it--spiritually sensitive in
respect of sight, hearing, and touch, and in open, palpable relations
with a world which I had no difficulty in recognising as of celestial
nature; so far did it transcend everything of which I had heard or read
in the annals of the contemporary spiritualism; so entirely did it
accord with my conceptions of the divine.
That I refrain from employing the terms "supernatural" and "superhuman,"
is because they assume the knowledge of the limits of the natural and
the human, and arbitrarily exclude from those categories regions of
being which may really belong to them. The celestial and the divine are
not necessarily either superhuman or supernatural; they may be but the
higher human and the higher natural. If they are at all, they are
according to natural order, and it is natural for them to be.
Nevertheless, vast as was the interval it represented between my past
and present states, it came so naturally and easily as to be clearly the
result, not of any abnormal or accidental cataclysm involving a breach
of continuity, but of a perfectly orderly unfoldment every step of which
was distinctly traceable. For though the process was akin to that of the
attainment of sight by one previously blind, and the final issue was
sudden, the issue had been led up to in such wise as to render it
legitimate and normal. For its earliest indication[18] was an opening of
the mind in such wise that subjects hitherto beyond my grasp, and
problems deemed insoluble, became comprehensible and clear; while whole
vistas of thought perfectly continuous and coherent, would disclose
themselves to my view, stretching far away towards their source in the
very principles of things, so that I found myself intellectually the
master of questions which previously had baffled me.
The experience I am about to relate was not only remarkable in itself,
it was remarkable also as striking what proved to be the keynote of all
our subsequent work, the doctrine, namely, of the _substantial_ identity
of God and man. It had suddenly flashed on my mind as a necessary and
self-evident truth, the contrary of which was absurd; and I had seated
myself at my writing-table to give it expression for a book I had lately
commenced[19]. I was alone and locked in my room in my chambers off
Pall Mall, Mrs Kingsford being at the time in Paris, accompanied by her
husband. It was past midnight, and all without was quiet; there was not
a sound to break my abstraction. This was so profound that I had written
some four pages without drawing breath, the matter seeming to flow not
merely from but through me without conscious mental effort of my own. I
_saw_ so clearly that there was no need to _think_. In the course of the
writing I became distinctly aware of a presence as of someone bending
over me from behind, and actively engaged in blending with and
reinforcing my mind. Being unwilling to risk an interruption to the flow
of my thought, I resisted the impulse to look up and ascertain who or
what it was. Of alarm at so unlooked-for a presence I had not a
particle. Be it whom it might, the accord between us was as perfect as
if it had been merely a projection of my own higher self. I had never
heard of higher selves in those days, or of the possibility of such a
phenomenon; but the idea of such an explanation occurred to me then and
there. But this solution of the problem of my visitant's personality was
presently dissipated by the event.
The passage I had been writing concluded with these words:--
"The perfect man of any race is no other than the perfect
expression in the flesh of all the essential characteristics of the
soul of that race. Escaping the limitations of the individual man,
such an one represents the soul of his people. Escaping the
limitations of the individual people, he represents the soul of
all peoples, or Humanity. Escaping the limitations of Humanity, but
still preserving its essential characteristics, he represents the
soul of the system of which the earth is but an individual member.
And finally, after climbing many a further step of the infinite
ladder of existence, and escaping the limitations of all systems
whatever, he represents--nay, finds that he is--the soul of the
universe, even God Himself, once 'manifested in the flesh,' and now
'perfected through suffering,' 'purified, sanctified, redeemed,
justified, glorified,' 'crowned with honour and glory,' and 'seated
for ever at the right hand of the Father,' 'one with God,' even God
Himself."
At this moment--my mind being so wholly preoccupied with the utterance
and all that I saw it involved, as to make me oblivious of all else--the
presence I had felt bending over me darted itself into me just below the
cerebral bulb at the back of my neck, the sensation being that of a
slight tap, as of a finger-touch; and then in a voice full, rich, firm,
measured, and so strong that it resounded through the room, exclaimed,
in a tone indicative of high satisfaction, "At last I have found a man
through whom I can speak!"
So powerful was the intonation that the tympana of my ears vibrated to
the sound, palpably bulging outwards, showing that they had been struck
on the inner side, and that the presence had actually projected itself
into my larynx and spoken from within me, but without using my organs of
speech, I was conscious of being in radiant health at the time, and was
unable to detect any symptom of being otherwise. My thought, too, and
observation were perfectly coherent and continuous, and I could discern
no smallest pretext for distrust of the reality of the experience. And
my delight and satisfaction, which were unbounded, found expression in
the single utterance, "Then the ancients were right, and the Gods ARE!"
so resistless was the conviction that only by a divinised being could
the wisdom and power be manifested of the presence of which I was
conscious. The words, "At last I have found a man" were incompatible
with the theory of its being an objectivation of my own particular ego,
and, moreover, they indicated the speaker as one high in authority over
the race.
Nothing more passed on that occasion; but a vivid impression was left
with me that my visitant belonged to the order of spirits called
"Planetaries." But as I had then no knowledge of such beings, I put
aside the question of his identity for the solution which I trusted
would come of further enlightenment. This came in due time, with the
result of confirming the impression given me at the time. The
explanation, however, does not come within the scope of this present
writing. Some time afterwards, when searching at the library of the
British Museum in the writings of the old occultists for experiences
analogous to our own, I came upon one account which described the
entrance into the man of an overshadowing spirit exactly as it had
occurred to me, so far as it concerned the nape of the neck as the point
of entry and the slightness of the sensation. The only further reference
to the incident necessary here is as follows.
A little later Mrs Kingsford had returned to England, being compelled to
quit Paris by a severe illness which she had contracted immediately on
her arrival there; and was pursuing her studies in London, making her
home with a relative in Chelsea. The event proved that she had been sent
back by the supervisors of our work expressly in order to be within
reach of me. Indeed, an intimation had been given me before she had gone
that she would not be allowed to stay abroad, as our near contiguity was
indispensable, and I had accordingly viewed her departure with
considerable disquietude, circumstances rendering it impossible for me
to leave home just then. Prior to coming back she had obtained from the
Minister of Education the exceptional privilege of a permit allowing her
attendance at a London hospital to count in her Paris course.
The first experience received by her in relation to our work, after her
return to London, was the terrific vision of "The Doomed Train"[20].
On bringing it to me on the morning of its occurrence, she exclaimed as
she entered the room, "Oh, I have had such a terrific dream! It has
quite shattered me. And I have brought it for you to try and find its
meaning, if it has one. I wrote it down the moment I was able." Her
appearance fully confirmed her statement. It alarmed me. This is the
account:--
"I was visited, last night, by a dream of so strange and vivid a kind
that I feel impelled to communicate it to you, not only to relieve my
own mind of the oppression which the recollection of it causes me, but
also to give you an opportunity of finding the meaning, which I am still
far too much shaken and terrified to seek for myself.
"It seemed to me that you and I were two of a vast company of men and
women, upon all of whom, with the exception of myself--for I was there
voluntarily--sentence of death had been passed. I was sensible of the
knowledge--how obtained I know not--that this terrible doom had been
pronounced by the official agents of some new reign of terror. Certain I
was that none of the party had really been guilty of any crime deserving
of death; but that the penalty had been incurred through their
connection with some regime, political, social, or religious, which was
doomed to utter destruction. It became known among us that the sentence
was about to be carried out on a colossal scale; but we remained in
absolute ignorance as to the place and method of the intended execution.
Thus far my dream gave me no intimation of the scene which next burst on
me,--a scene which strained to their utmost tension every sense of
sight, hearing, and touch in a manner unprecedented in any dream I have
previously had.
"It was night, dark and starless, and I found myself, together with the
whole company of doomed men and women who knew that they were soon to
die, but not how or where, in a railway train hurrying through the
darkness to some unknown destination. I sat in a carriage quite at the
rear end of the train, in a corner seat, and was leaning out of the open
window, peering into the darkness, when, suddenly, a voice, which seemed
to speak out of the air, said to me in a low, distinct, intense tone,
the mere recollection of which makes me shudder,--'The sentence is being
carried out even now. You are all of you lost. Ahead of the train is a
frightful precipice of monstrous height, and at its base beats a
fathomless sea. The railway ends only with the abyss. Over that will the
train hurl itself into annihilation. THERE IS NO ONE ON THE ENGINE!'
"At this I sprang from my seat in horror, and looked round at the faces
of the persons in the carriage with me. No one of them had spoken, or
had heard those awful words. The lamplight from the dome of the carriage
flickered on the forms about me. I looked from one to the other, but saw
no sign of alarm given by any of them. Then again the voice out of the
air spoke to me,--'There is but one way to be saved. You must leap out
of the train!'
"In frantic haste I pushed open the carriage-door and stepped out on the
footboard. The train was going at a terrific pace, swaying to and fro as
with the passion of its speed; and the mighty wind of its passage beat
my hair about my face and tore at my garments.
"Until this moment I had not thought of you, or even seemed conscious of
your presence in the train. Holding tightly on to the rail by the
carriage-door, I began to creep along the footboard towards the engine,
hoping to find a chance of dropping safely down on the line.
Hand-over-hand I passed along in this way from one carriage to another;
and as I did so I saw by the light within each carriage that the
passengers had no idea of the fate upon which they were being hurried.
At length, in one of the compartments, I saw _you_. 'Come out!' I
cried; 'come out! Save yourself! In another minute we shall be dashed to
pieces!'
"You rose instantly, wrenched open the door, and stood beside me outside
on the footboard. The rapidity at which we were going was now more
fearful than ever. The train rocked as it fled onwards. The wind
shrieked as we were carried through it. 'Leap down!' I cried to you.
'Save yourself! It is certain death to stay here. Before us is an abyss;
and there is no one on the engine!'
"At this you turned your face full upon me with a look of intense
earnestness, and said, 'No, we will not leap down; we will stop the
train.'
"With these words you left me, and crept along the footboard towards the
front of the train. Full of half-angry anxiety at what seemed to me a
Quixotic act, I followed. In one of the carriages we passed I saw my
mother and eldest brother, unconscious as the rest. Presently we reached
the last carriage, and saw by the lurid light of the furnace that the
voice had spoken truly, and that there was no one on the engine.
"You continued to move onwards. 'Impossible! Impossible!' I cried; 'it
cannot be done. Oh, pray, come away!'
"Then you knelt upon the footboard, and said, 'You are right. It cannot
be done in that way; but we can save the train. Help me to get these
irons asunder.'
"The engine was connected with the train by two great iron hooks and
staples. By a tremendous effort, in making which I almost lost my
balance, we unhooked the irons and detached the train; when, with a
mighty leap as of some mad supernatural monster, the engine sped on its
way alone, shooting back as it went a great flaming trail of sparks, and
was lost in the darkness. We stood together on the footboard, watching
in silence the gradual slackening of the speed. When at length the train
had come to a standstill, we cried to the passengers, 'Saved! Saved!'
And then, amid the confusion of opening the doors and descending and
eager talking, my dream ended, leaving me shattered and palpitating with
the horror of it."
This vision was intended to show us the destruction, moral,
intellectual, and spiritual, towards which the world was tending by
following materialistic modes of thought, and the part we were to bear
in arresting its progress towards the fatal precipice, at all hazards to
ourselves. The startling announcement made to her by the invisible voice
when the crowded train was rushing at full speed to its doom, "There is
no one on the engine!" exactly represented the philosophy which, denying
mind in the universe, recognises only blind force.
I had determined to include an account of this vision in the book on
which I was then engaged, "England and Islam." And I was alone in my
rooms, reading the proofs of it, my mind being occupied solely with the
letterpress, until I came to the remark ascribed to me in the vision, as
made in reply to her entreaty that I would jump out with her to save
ourselves, "No, we will not leap down, we will stop the train." At this
moment the voice which shortly before[21] had said to me, "At last I
have found a man through whom I can speak!" addressed me again, saying
in a pleased and encouraging tone, as if the speaker had been following
me in my reading, and desired to remove any doubts I might have of the
reality of our mission,--"Yes! Yes! I have trusted all to you!" This
time he spoke from without me, but apparently quite close by. And among
the impressions which at the same instant were flashed into my mind, was
the impression, amounting to a conviction, that whatever might be the
part assigned to others in the work of the new illumination in progress
and the restoration thereby to the world of one true doctrine of
existence, the exposition of its innermost and highest sphere, the head
corner-stone of the pyramid of the system which is to make the humanity
of the future, had been committed to us alone. And now, writing nearly
twenty years later, I can truly say that this conviction has never for a
moment been weakened, but on the contrary has gathered confirmation and
strength with every successive accession of experience and knowledge,
and while cognisant of and fully appreciating all that has taken place
in the unfoldment of the world's thought during the interval.
Ever since that memorable winter of 1876-7, the conviction, shared
equally by my colleague, has been with me that the controlling spirit of
the Hebrew prophets was that also of our work, the purpose of which was
the accomplishment of their prophecies, by the promotion of the world's
spiritual consciousness to a level surpassing any yet attained by it, to
the regeneration of the church and the establishment of the kingdom of
God with power. Having which conviction, there was for us but one object
in life:--to fulfil at whatever cost to ourselves the conditions
necessary to make us fitting instruments for the perfect accomplishment
of a work which we recognised as the loftiest that could be committed to
mortals.
My colleague's enforced return to London was promptly signalised by an
experience which served not only yet further to demonstrate the reality
and nature of our mission, and of her primacy in our work, but to
disclose its essentially Christian character, which hitherto had been an
open question for us. For that upon which we ourselves were bent was the
discovery of the nature of existence at first hand, and independently of
any existing system whatever. It was truth and truth alone that we
sought, and to this end we had laboured to make ourselves as those of
whom it is said, "Of such is the kingdom of heaven." For in divesting
ourselves of all prepossessions and prejudices, we had made ourselves as
"little children." We were neither believers nor disbelievers, but pure
sceptics in that best sense of the term in which it denotes the unbiased
seeker after God and truth. This is to say, we were, and we gloried in
being, absolutely free thinkers, a term which, in its true acceptation,
we regarded as man's noblest title. This is the sense in which it
denotes a thought able to exercise itself in all directions open to
thought, outwards and downwards to matter and negation, and inwards and
upwards to spirit and reality. And our work proved in the event to be
the supreme triumph of Free Thought.
The experience in question was as follows. It was night and I was alone
and locked in my chambers, and was writing at full speed, lest it
should escape me, an exposition of the place and office of woman under
the coming regeneration. And I was conscious of an exaltation of faculty
such as might conceivably be the result of an enhancement of my own mind
by junction with another and superior mind. I was even conscious, though
in a far less degree than before, of an invisible presence. But I was
too much engrossed with my idea to pay heed to persons, be they whom
they might, human or divine, as well as anxious to take advantage of
such assistance. I had clearly and vividly in my mind all that I desired
to say for several pages on. Then, suddenly and completely, like the
stoppage of a stream in its flow through a tube by the quick turning of
a tap, the current of my thought ceased, leaving my mind an utter blank
as to what I had meant to say, and totally unable to recall the least
idea of it. So palpable was its withdrawal, that it seemed to me as if
it must still be hovering somewhere near me, and I looked up and
impatiently exclaimed aloud to it, "Where are you?" At length, after
ransacking my mind in vain, I turned to other work, for I was perfectly
fresh, and the desertion had been in no way due to exhaustion, physical
or mental. On taking note of the time of the disappearance, I found it
was 11.30 precisely.
The next morning failed to bring my thought back to me as I had hoped it
would do; but it brought instead, an unusually early visit from Mrs.
Kingsford, who was--as I have said--staying in Chelsea. "Such a curious
thing happened to me last night," she began, on entering the room, "and
I want to tell you of it and see if you can explain it. I had finished
my day's work, but though it was late I was not inclined to rest, for I
was wakeful with a sense of irritation at the thought of what you are
doing, and at my exclusion from any share in it. And I was feeling
envious of your sex for the superior advantages you have over ours of
doing great and useful work. As I sat by the fire thinking this, I
suddenly found myself impelled to take a pencil and paper, and to write.
I did so, and wrote with extreme rapidity, in a half-dreamy state,
without any clear idea of what I was writing, but supposing it to be
something expressive of my discontent. I had soon covered a page and a
half of a large sheet with writing different from my own, and it was
quite unlike what was in my mind, as you will see."
On perusing the paper I found that it was a continuation of my missing
thought, taken up at the point where it had left me, but translated to a
higher plane, the expression also being similarly elevated in accordance
both with the theme and the writer, having the exquisiteness so
characteristic of her genius. To my enquiry as to the hour of the
occurrence, she at once replied, "Half-past eleven exactly; for I was so
struck by it that I took particular notice of the time."
What I had written was as follows:--
"Those of us who, being men, refuse to accord to women the same
freedom of evolution for their consciousness which we claim for
ourselves, do so in consequence of a total misconception of the
nature and functions both of Humanity and of Existence at large.
The notion that men and women can by any possibility do each
other's work, is utterly absurd. Whom God hath distinguished, none
can confound. To do the same thing is not to do the same work;
inasmuch as the spirit is more than the fact, and the spirit of man
and of woman is different. While for the production of perfect
results it is necessary that they work harmoniously together, it is
necessary also that they fulfil separate functions in regard to
that work"[22].
This was the point at which my thought had failed me, to be taken up by
her at the same instant two miles away, without her knowing even that I
contemplated treating that particular theme, as I had purposely reserved
it until I should have completed the expression, hoping to give her a
pleasant surprise; for it was one very near to her heart. This is her
continuation of it. It will be seen that, besides complementing my
thought, it responded remedially to her own mood:--
"In a true mission of redemption, in the proclamation of a gospel
to save, it is the man who must preach; it is the man who must
stand forward among the people; it is the man who, if need be, must
die. But he is not alone. If his be the glory of the full noontide,
his day has been ushered in by a goddess. Aurora has preceded
Phoibos Apollo; Mary has been before Christ. For, mark that He
shall do His first and greatest work at her suggestion. To her
shall ever belong the glory of the inauguration; of her shall the
gospel be born; from her lips shall the Christ take the bidding for
His first miracle; from her shall His earliest inspiration be
drawn. The people are athirst for the living wine, which shall be
better, sweeter, purer, stronger, than any they have yet tasted.
The festival lags, the joy slackens, for need of it. The Christ is
in their midst, but He opens not His lips; His heart is sealed, His
hour is not yet come. Mark that the first inspiration falls on the
woman by His side, on Mary the Mother of God; she saith unto Him,
'They have no wine.' She has spoken, the impulse is given to
Divinity. His soul awakens, His pulse quickens, He utters the word
that works the miracle. Hail, Mary, full of grace; Christ is thy
gift to the world! Without thee He could not have been; but for
thine impulse He could have worked no mighty work. This shall be
the history of all time; it shall be the sign of the Christ. Mary
shall feel; Christ shall speak. Hers the glory of setting His heart
in action; hers the thrill of emotion to which His power shall
respond. But for her He shall be powerless; but for her He shall be
dumb; but for her He shall have no strength to smite, no hand to
help. It is the seed of the woman who shall bruise the serpent's
head. The Christ, the true prophet, is her child, her gift to the
world. 'Woman, behold thy Son!'"
Such was the first intimation and the manner thereof, given us of the
truth subsequently revealed in plenitude,--the presence in Scripture of
a mystical sense concealed within the apparent sense, as a kernel in its
shell, which, and not the literal sense, is the intended sense[23]. As
was later shown us in regard to the story of the cursing of the
fig-tree, that of the marriage in Cana was a parable having a spiritual
import; and the character of Jesus was cleared from the reproaches based
on the literal sense. Striving for fuller unfoldment and enlightenment,
we were at length enabled to discern the tremendous mistake which
orthodoxy has made; the mistake of confounding, first, Jesus with
Christ, and, next, Mary the mother of Jesus, with the Virgin Mary, the
mother of Christ, and the conversion thereby of a perfect philosophy
into a gross idolatry. Meanwhile, the experience was a further
demonstration to us of the reality and accessibility not merely of the
world spiritual, but of the world celestial also, and of the high source
of the commission under which we had become associated together. It was
also an indication that as concerned ourselves our work appertained to
the spiritual, rather than to the social plane. Such application of it
would follow in due time. No other hypothesis that we could devise would
account for the facts. Nor could we imagine any source other than the
Church invisible for an interpretation so noble of the Scriptures of the
Church visible.
Not that the hypothesis of an extraneous source accounted for all our
experiences. For besides receiving knowledge from such influences, there
were instances in which we actually saw and seemed to remember scenes,
events, and persons, long since vanished from earth, and felt at the
time that it needed only that the period of lucidity be sufficiently
prolonged to enable us to recover from personal recollection the whole
history concerned.
I was somewhat surprised by finding the first experiences of this
nature, as well as certain others of an equally high and rare order,
occurring to me rather than to my colleague, of the superiority of whose
faculty and of whose primacy in our work I had no manner of doubt. The
explanation at length vouchsafed was in this wise. It was in order to
qualify me for recognising by my own experiences the reality and value
of hers when they should come. Not otherwise should I know enough to be
able to believe. It proved, moreover, to be part of the plan ordained
to withdraw from me, in a great measure, the faculty requisite for them,
when I had become familiar with them. The reason for according her such
preference over and above the superiority of her gifts will presently
appear. It was another and an exquisite illustration of the depth and
tenderness of the mystical element underlying Christianity as divinely
conceived and intended.
* * * * *
The partial withdrawal from me of faculty just alluded to took place
early in 1877, but not until I had undergone a thorough experiential
training in its varied manifestations. Among these were two which call
for relation here, by reason of their serving to show that nothing was
withheld which might minister to the completeness of the work set us.
The first was as follows:--
Being seated at my writing-table, and meditating on the gospel
narrative, with a strange sense of being separated by only a narrow
interval from a full knowledge of all that it implied, I found myself
impelled to seek the precise idea intended to be conveyed by the story
of the woman taken in adultery. No account that I had read of it had
satisfied me, least of all that which was proposed in the "Ecce Homo" of
Professor Seeley, a book then recent and enjoying a repute which filled
me with a strong feeling of personal resentment. For his account,
especially of the feelings excited in Jesus by the sight of the accused
woman, revolted me by its inscription to Him of a sense of impropriety
at once monkish and conventional, and of a limitation of charity
altogether incompatible with the abounding sympathy which was the
essence of His nature. It made Him that most odious of characters, a
_prude_.
As I meditated, and in following my idea I passed into a state which,
though highly interior, was not sufficiently interior for my
purpose--for I wanted, so to speak, to _see_ my idea--a voice audible
only to the inner hearing, yet quite distinct, said to me, "You have it
within you. Seek for it." Thus encouraged, I made a further effort at
concentration, when--to my utter surprise, for I had no expectation or
conception of such a thing--the whole scene of the incident appeared
palpably before me, like a living picture in a _camera obscura_, so
natural, minute and distinct as to leave nothing to be desired, and, at
the same time, utterly unlike any pictorial representation I had ever
seen of it. Close before me, on my right hand, stood the Temple, with
Jesus seated on a stone ledge in the porch, while ranged before Him was
a crowd of persons in the costumes of the country and the time; each
costume showing the grade or calling of its wearer. Standing together in
a group in front of Him were the disciples, and immediately beside them
were the accusers, who were readily recognisable by their ample robes
and sanctimonious demeanour; and quite close to Him, between Him and
them, stood the accused woman. As I approached the scene, moving
meteor-like through the air, He was in the act of lifting Himself up
from stooping to write on the ground, and I had a perfect view of His
face. He was of middle age, but, to my surprise, the type was that of a
Murillo, rather than a Raffaelle, and the lower portion of the face was
covered with a short, dark beard. The expression was worn and anxious,
and somewhat weary. The skin was rough as from exposure to the weather.
The eyes were deep-set and lustrous, and remarkable for the tenderness
of their gaze. One of the apostles, whom I at once recognised by his
comparative youthfulness as John, though his back was towards me as I
approached, was in the act of bending forwards to read the words just
traced in the dust on the pavement; and, as if drawn to him by some
potent attraction, I at once passed unhesitatingly into him as he bent
forward, and tried to read the words through his eyes. Their exact
purport escaped me; but the impression I obtained was that they were
unimportant in themselves, having been written merely to enable Jesus to
collect and calm Himself. For He was filled with a mighty indignation,
which was directed, not against the accused woman, but against the
by-standing representatives of the conventional orthodoxies, the chief
priests and Pharisees, her sanctimonious and hypocritical
accusers,--those moral vivisectors through whose pitilessness the
shrinking woman stood there exposed to the public gaze, while her fault
was so brutally blurted out in her presence for all to hear; for her
attitude showed her ready to sink with shame into the ground, and afraid
to look either her accusers or her Judge in the face. He, her Judge,
also has heard it, and knows that they who utter it are themselves a
thousand-fold greater sinners than she, inasmuch as that which she has
yielded through exigency either of passion or of compassion, has with
them been a cold-blooded habit engendered of ingrained impurity.
In contrast with them she stands out in His eyes an angel of innocence;
and an overwhelming indignation takes possession of Him, so that He will
not at once trust Himself to speak. His impulse is to drive them forth
with blows and reproaches from His presence, as once already He has
driven the barterers from the Temple. And so, to keep His wrath from
exploding, He stoops down and scribbles on the ground,--no matter what,
anything to keep Himself within bounds. In the exercise His spirit
calms. Indignation, He reflects, is too noble a thing to be expended
upon insensates such as they, and exhortation would be vain. He will try
sarcasm. So He raises himself up, and looks at them, very quietly, and
even assentingly. Yes, they are quite right; the law must be vindicated,
and so flagrant a sin severely punished. But, of course, only the
guiltless is entitled to inflict punishment on the guilty. Therefore He
says, "He of you who is blameless in respect of this sin, let him first
cast a stone at her." And having said this, He stoops down again to
write, this time to hide His smiles at their confusion, the sight of
which would but have incensed and hardened them. What! no rush for
ammunition wherewith to pound to death this only too human specimen of
humanity[24]! What can be the meaning of the general move among these
self-appointed censors of morals? "They which heard Him, being convicted
of their own consciences, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest
even unto the last." No wonder they crucified Him when they got their
chance. And no wonder that most of the ancient authorities omit all
mention of the incident. Even of His immediate biographers only he
records it who is styled "the Beloved," and whose name, office, and
character indicate him as the representative especially of the
love-principle in humanity.
Such were the impressions made on me by this vision while it lasted, and
written down at the time. And so strong in me was the feeling that I
could similarly recall the whole history of Jesus, that I mentally
addressed to the presences which I felt, though I could not see, around
me an inquiry whether I should then and there begin the attempt. The
reply, similarly given, was a decided negative so far as that present
time was concerned, but accompanied by an intimation that our future
work would comprise something of the kind; a prediction which was duly
fulfilled.
I found myself perplexed beyond measure to comprehend the _modus
operandi_ of this experience. No explanation was forthcoming, whether
from my own mind or from my illuminators, until long afterwards; and
when it came it was in reference immediately to similar experiences
received by my colleague, some of which likewise involved corresponding
personal recollections coinciding with but surpassing mine. In the
meantime the teaching given us comprised the doctrine of reincarnation,
stated so positively, systematically, and scientifically that, when
taken in conjunction with our experiences, we found that it, and it
alone, afforded a satisfactory explanation of them. And then it was
shown us that the method of the new Gospel of Interpretation, of which
we were the appointed recipients, was so ordered as to be itself a
demonstration of the truth of that doctrine, and that among the lives we
had lived, which qualified us for our mission, were those in which we
had been in association with Jesus and with each other[25]. Concerning
this doctrine, the motive for its suppression, and the fatal
consequences thereof to the religion of Christ, it will be time to speak
when describing the results attained by us. It is with our initial
experiences--those which constituted our initiation--that the present
concern lies.
There is one supreme experience in the spiritual life, known to mystics
as "the vision of Adonai," or God as the Lord. The reception of this
vision by us was, we were assured, a conclusive proof that nothing would
be withheld that was necessary to our full equipment for a complete
work. Although described several times in the Bible as an actual
occurrence, it had failed to find any response in our own consciousness,
more than if it had no existence. Nor had it ever been the subject of
intelligent comment by any Bible-expositors known to us. Rather did it
seem to have been entirely passed over as a matter wholly apart from
human cognition. Hence, when it was vouchsafed to us, it was entirely
without anticipation of its occurrence or previous knowledge even of its
possibility.
It was received first by myself, the manner of it being as follows. I
had observed that when I was following an idea inwards in search of its
primary meaning, and to that end concentrated my mind upon a point lying
within and beyond the apparent concept, I saw a whole vista of related
ideas stretching far away as if towards their source, in what I could
only suppose to be the Divine Mind; and I seemed at the same time to
reach a more interior region of my own consciousness; so that, supposing
man's system to consist of a series of concentric spheres, each fresh
effort to focus my mind upon a more recondite aspect of the idea under
analysis was accompanied and marked by a corresponding advance of the
perceptive point of the mind itself towards my own central sphere and
radiant point. And I was prompted to try to ascertain the extent to
which it was possible thus to concentrate myself interiorly, and what
would be the effect of reaching the mind's ultimate focus. I was
absolutely without knowledge or expectation when I yielded to the
impulse to make the attempt. I simply experimented on a faculty of
which I found myself newly possessed, with the view of discovering the
range of its capacity, being seated at my writing-table the while in
order to record the results as they came, and resolved to retain my hold
on my outer and circumferential consciousness no matter how far towards
my inner and central consciousness I might go. For I knew not whether I
should be able to regain the former if I once quitted my hold of it, or
to recollect the facts of the experience. At length I achieved my
object, though only by a strong effort, the tension occasioned by the
endeavour to keep both extremes of the consciousness in view at once
being very great.
Once well started on my quest, I found myself traversing a succession of
spheres or belts of a medium, the tenuity and luminance of which
increased at every stage of my progress; the impression produced being
that of mounting a vast ladder stretching from the circumference towards
the centre of a system, which was at once my own system, the solar
system, and the universal system, the three systems being at once
diverse and identical. My progress in this ascent was clearly dependent
upon my ability to concentrate the rays of my consciousness into a
focus. For, while to relax the effort was to recede outwards, to
intensify it was to advance inwards. The process was like that of
travelling by will power from the orbit of Saturn to the Sun--taking
Saturn as representing the seventh and outermost sphere of the spiritual
kosmos, and the Sun its central and radiant point--with the intermediate
orbits for stepping-stones and stages, I trying the while to keep both
extremes in view. Presently, by a supreme, and what I felt must be a
final, effort--for the tension was becoming too much for me, unless I
let go my hold of the outer--I succeeded in polarising the whole of the
convergent rays of my consciousness into the desired focus. And at the
same instant, as if through the sudden ignition of the rays thus fused
into a unity, I found myself confronted with a glory of unspeakable
whiteness and brightness, and of a lustre so intense as well-nigh to
beat me back. At the same instant, too, there came to me, as by a sudden
recollection, the sense of being already familiar with the phenomenon,
as also with its whole import, as if in virtue of having experienced it
in some former and forgotten state of being. I knew it to be the "Great
White Throne" of the seer of the Apocalypse. But though feeling that I
had no need to explore further, I resolved to make assurance doubly sure
by piercing, if I could, the almost blinding lustre, and seeing what it
enshrined. With a great effort I succeeded, and the glance revealed to
me that which I had felt must be there. This was the dual form of the
Son, the Word, the Logos, the Adonai, the "Sitter on the Throne," the
first formulation of Divinity, the unmanifest made manifest, the
unformulate formulate, the unindividuate individuate, God as the Lord,
proving by His Duality that God is Substance as well as Force, Love as
well as Will, feminine as well as masculine, Mother as well as Father.
Overjoyed at having this supreme problem solved in accordance with my
highest aspirations, my one thought was to return and proclaim the glad
news. But I had no sooner set myself to write down the things thus seen
and remembered, than I found myself constrained to maintain regarding
them the strictest silence, and this even as regarded my fellow-worker;
and all that I was permitted to say at that time was, that under a
sudden burst of illumination I had become absolutely aware of the truth
of the doctrine of the Duality in Unity of Deity to which that in
Humanity corresponds, both alike being twain in one. On seeking the
reason for the reticence thus imposed on me, I learned that the stage in
our work had not yet come when it could be given to the world, either
with safety to myself or with advantage to others; and it was necessary
that my colleague receive no intimation in advance of any experiences
which were to be given to her--of which this experience was one--in
order that her mind might be wholly free from bias or expectation. Only
so would our testimony have its due value as that of two independent
witnesses.
In the following summer the same vision was vouchsafed to her in a
measure and with a fulness far transcending mine[26].
On the occasion she had been forewarned of something of unusual
solemnity as about to occur, and prompted to make certain ceremonial
preparations obviously calculated to impress the imagination. The access
came upon her while standing by the open window, gazing at the moon,
then close upon the full. The first effect of the _afflatus_ was to
cause her to kneel and pray in a rapt attitude, with her arms extended
towards the sky. It appeared afterwards, that under an access of
spiritual exaltation, she had yielded to a sudden and uncontrollable
impulse to pray that she might be taken to the stars, and shown all the
glory of the universe. Presently she rose, and after gazing upwards in
ecstasy for a few moments, lowered her eyes, and, clasping her arms
around her head as if to shut out the view, uttered in tones of wonder,
mingled with moans and cries of anguish, the following tokens of the
intolerable splendour of the vision she had unwittingly invited:--
"Oh, I see masses, masses of stars! It makes me giddy to look at them. O
my God, what masses! Millions and millions! WHEELS of planets! O my God,
my God, why didst Thou create? It was by Will, all Will, that Thou didst
it. Oh! what might, what might of Will! Oh, what gulfs! what gulfs!
Millions and millions of miles broad and deep! Hold me! hold me up! I
shall sink--I shall sink into the gulfs. I am sick and giddy, as on a
billowy sea. I am on a sea, an ocean--the ocean of infinite space. Oh,
what depths! what depths! I sink--I fail! I cannot, cannot bear it!"
"I shall never come back. I have left my body for ever. I am dying; I
believe I am dead. Impossible to return from such a distance! Oh, what
colossal forms! They are the angels of the planets. Every planet has its
angel standing erect above it. And what beauty!--what marvellous beauty!
I see Raphael. I see the Angel of the Earth. He has six wings. He is a
God--the God of our planet. I see my genius, who called himself A.Z.;
but his name is Salathiel. Oh, how surpassingly beautiful he is! My
genius is a male, and his colour is ruby. Yours, Caro, is a female, and
sapphire. They are friends--they are the same--not two, but one; and for
that reason they have associated us together, and speak of themselves
sometimes as _I_, sometimes as _We_. It is the Angel of the Earth
himself that is your genius and mine, Caro. He it was who inspired you,
who spoke to you. And they call me 'Bitterness.' And I see sorrow--oh,
what unending sorrow do I behold! Sorrow, always sorrow, but never
without love. I shall always have love. How dim is this sphere!... I am
entering a brighter region now... Oh, the dazzling, dazzling brightness!
Hide me, hide me from it! I cannot, cannot bear it! It is agony supreme
to look upon. O God! O God! Thou art slaying me with Thy light. It is
the Throne itself, the Great White Throne of God that I behold! Oh, what
light! what light! It is like an emerald? a sapphire? No; a diamond! In
its midst stands Deity erect, His right hand raised aloft, and from Him
pours the light of light. Forth from His right hand streams the
universe, projected by the omnipotent repulsion of His will. Back to His
left, which is depressed and set backwards, returns the universe, drawn
by the attraction of His love. Repulsion and attraction, will and love,
right and left, these are the forces, centrifugal and centripetal, male
and female, whereby God creates and redeems. Adonai! O Adonai! Lord God
of life, made of the substance of light, how beautiful art Thou in Thine
everlasting youth! with Thy glowing golden locks, how adorable! And I
had thought of God as elderly and venerable! As if the Eternal could
grow old! And now not as Man only do I behold Thee! For now Thou art to
me as Woman. Lo, Thou art both. One, and Two also. And thereby dost Thou
produce creation. O God, O God! why didst Thou create this stupendous
existence? Surely, surely, it had been better in love to have restrained
Thy will. It was by will that Thou createdst, by will alone, not by
love, was it not?--was it not? I cannot see clearly. A cloud has come
between.
"I see Thee now as Woman. Maria is next beside Thee. Thou art Maria.
Maria is God. Oh Maria! God as Woman! Thee, thee I adore!
Maria-Aphrodite! Mother! Mother-God!
"They are returning with me now, I think. But I shall never get back.
What strange forms! how huge they are! All angels and archangels. Human
in form, yet some with eagles' heads. All the planets are inhabited! how
innumerable is the variety of forms! Oh! universe of existence, how
stupendous is existence! Oh! take me not near the sun; I cannot bear its
heat. Already do I feel myself burning. Here is Jupiter! It has nine
moons! Yes; nine. Some are exceedingly small. And, oh, how red it is! It
has so much iron. And what enormous men and women! There is evil there,
too. For evil is wherever are matter and limitation. But the people of
Jupiter are far better than we on earth. They know much more; they are
much wiser. There is less evil in their planet. Ah! and they have
another sense, too. What is it? No; I cannot describe it. I cannot tell
what it is. It differs from any of the others. We have nothing like it.
I cannot get back yet. I shall never get back. I believe I am dead. It
is only my body you are holding. It has grown cold for want of me. Yet
I must be approaching; it is growing shallower. We are passing out of
the depths. Yet I can never wholly return--never--never!"[27]
The account given of the vision of Adonai in Lecture IX. of "The Perfect
Way," was written solely from our joint experiences. It was with an
interest altogether novel in kind and degree that I now turned to the
Bible narratives of the same vision, and found that in the record of its
reception by the Elders of Israel, it is stated, as if in token of the
power of the spiritual battery with which Moses had surrounded himself,
that no less than seventy of his initiates were able to receive the
vision without magnetic reinforcement by the imposition of their
master's hands. But, as we learnt from our own manifold experiences, it
does not follow that because there is no imposition of visible hands, no
extraneous aid is rendered. The seeker after God cannot, even if he
would, accomplish his quest alone; but always are there attracted to him
those angelic beings whose office it is, as ministers of God, to sustain
and illuminate souls by the imposition of hands invisible to the outer
senses. In her case such aid was palpable. There was no effort on her
part. And she held converse with those by whom she was upborne in her
stupendous flight.
When in due course the time came for us to receive the ancient and
long-lost Gnosis which underlay the sacred religions and scriptures of
antiquity, the following was given us, and we recognised in it the
original Scripture from which the opening sentences in St John's Gospel
are drawn.
After defining the Elohim as comprising the two original principles of
all Being, "the Spirit and the Water," or Force and Substance, and
bringing up the process whereby Deity proceeds into manifestation to the
point described in Genesis in the words, "And the Spirit of God moved
upon the face of the Waters. And God _said_,"--the utterance thus
continues,--
Then from the midst of the Divine Duality, the Only Begotten of God
came forth:
Adonai, the Word, the Voice invisible.
He was in the beginning, and by Him were all things discovered.
Without Him was not anything made which is visible.
For He is the Manifestor, and in Him was the life of the world.
God the nameless hath not revealed God, but Adonai hath revealed
God from the beginning.
He is the presentation of Elohim, and by Him the Gods are made
manifest.
He is the third aspect of the Divine Triad:
Co-equal with the Spirit and the heavenly deep.
For except by three in one, the Spirits of the Invisible Light
could not have been made manifest.
But now is the prism perfect, and the generation of the Gods
discovered in their order.
Adonai dissolves and resumes; in His two hands are the dual powers
of all things.
He is of His Father the Spirit, and of His Mother the great deep.
Having the potency of both in Himself, and the power of things
material.
Yet being Himself invisible, for He is the cause, and not the
effect.
He is the Manifestor, and not that which is manifest.
That which is manifest is the Divine Substance[28].
The reason for the suppression by the translators of the Bible of its
numerous affirmations of the Divine Duality, saving only those of
Genesis i. 26, 27, was in due time disclosed to us; as also was the
extent of the loss to man through the elimination of the feminine
principle from his conception of Original Being, and the consequent
perversion of the doctrine of the Trinity, and therein of the true
nature of Existence, in both its aspects, Creation and Redemption.
FOOTNOTES:
[18] In 1875. (Life A.K. Vol. I. p. 73.)
[19] The book was "England and Islam: or The Counsel of Caiaphas," which
was published in 1877.
[20] This vision occurred in London in November, 1876. It was merely
referred to in the previous editions of this book, but I have inserted
it here in full from "The Life of A.K." Vol. I. pp. 115-117. It is also
given in "England and Islam," pp. 438-442. S.H.H.
[21] p. 41.
[22] E. and I. p. 299.
[23] It is probable that E.M. intended this statement to apply only to
the N.T., or to the Gospels, because, before February, 1874, when he
first visited A.K. at her house (p. 2), she had received in sleep "an
exposition of the Story of the Fall, exhibiting it as a parable having a
significance purely spiritual" and E.M. certainty regarded the Biblical
Story of the Fall as "Scripture." S.H.H.
[24] The expression of which the above is an adaptation, had recently
been applied by Mr Gladstone to the Turkish power. For the period was
the eve of the Turco-Russian War; and Mr Gladstone had found vent for
his strong sacerdotal proclivities by siding fiercely against the
priest-hating and prophet-venerating Turks, and demanding their
expulsion from Europe, very much on the plea that "it was good for
Europe that one nation die for the rest." It was in recognition of the
part thus played by him that I took for the sub-title of my book
("England and Islam") "The Counsel of Caiaphas." The book--which was
written under a high degree of illumination--contained an earnest appeal
to Mr Gladstone, which, if heeded, would have saved the country from its
subsequent humiliations. Among other things I was clearly shown that the
policy which sought to detach England from the East, was of infernal
instigation, being intended to thwart the rapprochement between
Christianity and Buddhism from which the new humanity was to spring. But
the circumstances of the book's production--it was poured through me at
great speed and printed off as it came--precluded due revision and
elimination of redundant matter; and for these and other reasons, I have
suffered it to go out of print. E.M.
[25] There is another fact, referred to in "The Life of A.K.," that must
be taken into consideration in connection with experiences of this
nature, that is, "the survival for an indefinite period of the images of
events occurring on the earth, in the astral light, or memory of the
planet, called the anima mundi, which images can be evoked and beheld."
(Life A.K. Vol I. p. 125.) S.H.H.
[26] This "Vision of Adonai" by A.K. was merely referred to in the
previous editions of this book. I have extracted the following account
of the most interesting part of it from "The Life of A.K." (Vol. I. pp.
193-196.) S.H.H.
[27] Speaking of this vision, E.M. says:--"Her apprehension was not
without justification; for her body was completely torpid, and several
hours passed before consciousness was fully restored to it." (C.W.S. p.
283.)
[28] This is one of the illuminations that were received by A.K., during
the latter part of 1878, "directly from the hierarchy of the Church
Invisible and Celestial." Speaking of these illuminations, which "dealt
with the profoundest subjects of cognition," E.M. says that he and A.K.
found in them "a synthesis and an analysis combined of the sacred
mysteries of all the great religions of antiquity, and the true
_origines_ of Christianity as originally and divinely intended, together
with the secret and method of its corruption and perversion into that
which now bears its name"; and they "were at no loss to recognise in
them the destined Scriptures of the future, so long promised and at
length vouchsafed in interpretation of the Scriptures of the past."
(Life A.K. Vol. I. pp. 293, 294.) S.H.H.