[Illustration: Decorative I]
t took a long time for Tommy Toddles to recover from the exquisite
sensation of surprise and wonder which clung to him after his strange
adventures with the Sheep and the ex-Pirate. He used to talk to his
Uncle Dick continually of what he had seen and done during that famous
afternoon, and many and many a time the two went out into the woods
together and searched through the bushes and the trees for the haunt of
the Loon, and for the lake by the side of which had stood the
Poor-house. But they never found anything; and Tommy was consequently
forced to sit at home and content himself with recollections and
reminiscences--"which are decidedly unsatisfactory substitutes," thought
he.
So it frequently happened that the little boy sat all alone in the big
room at the top of the house, and went over and over again in his mind
those peculiar incidents in which so many strange creatures had figured,
and in which so many odd things had been said and done. But one rainy
day he seemed to be more affected by those reminiscences than he had
ever been before, and so he settled back on the window-seat, and gave
himself up entirely to thoughts of the-ex-Pirate, the Sheep, the
Reformed Burglar, and to all the quaint creatures of his acquaintance.
He was smiling quietly to himself at some of the funny things Thingumbob
had said on the beach, when all of a sudden he thought he heard somebody
knocking on the door. Nobody ever knocked before coming into Tommy's
play-room, and so the little boy looked up in a curious way, wondering
who it could be, and wishing that no one would come in to disturb his
reverie. The door was ajar, but he could see that there was some person
standing out in the hall. Presently there was another knock. Tommy
straightened up on the window-seat, and called out,
"Come in!"
The door swung slowly inward, and who should be standing there looking
straight at Tommy but his old friend the ex-Pirate! It was the same old
ex-Pirate of days and days ago, with his fierce mustaches and long hair,
and his big pistols sticking out of his sash. He looked at Tommy for a
moment, just as if he wanted to make sure that he was calling on the
right little boy, and then a pleasant smile spread all over his face,
and he walked rapidly across the room. Tommy jumped from the window-seat
and hastened to meet him.
"Why, I'm awfully glad to see you!" he exclaimed. "How do you do, Mr.
ex-Pirate? And how did you get up here?"
The ex-Pirate laughed, and shook hands with Tommy, and then he said:
"Oh, I just came. Things come and go, you know; and I just came. Wasn't
it nice?"
"Awfully nice," said Tommy, enthusiastically. "I've been thinking a lot
about you. I was beginning to think you were not real."
"Oh yes, I'm real," asserted the ex-Pirate. "Just as real as you are."
"Perhaps _I'm_ not real," suggested Tommy; and then, becoming alarmed at
the thought, he felt in his pockets, and pulled at his hair to see if he
was all there. Reassured on that point he added, "Where is the Sheep?"
"I guess he's running yet," answered the ex-Pirate, laughing. "Poor
fellow; I left him 'way behind. But I never saw anybody run like _you_
in all my life. You ran faster than Time, and Time runs pretty fast now,
I tell you! He can go pretty near as fast as Money--and you know how
fast Money goes."
Tommy did not know how fast money went, because he had never seen very
much of it, but he thought that, from the nature of his past business,
the ex-Pirate must have had wide experience in those matters. So he
said, "I suppose so."
"That's right," continued the ex-Pirate. "That's perfectly right. But I
ran as fast as I could, and I've only just arrived."
"You must be tired," remarked the little boy.
"Not at all. I never get tired. I'm ready to keep right on, if you want
to."
"Keep right on?" queried Tommy.
"Yes."
"On what?"
"Why, looking for the animals," replied the ex-Pirate.
"But I found them," said Tommy.
"You did?" exclaimed the ex-Pirate, in surprise.
"Certainly. They were right here."
"Where?"
"Right in this room."
"Well, where are they now?"
Tommy Toddles would have given his word, fifteen minutes before the
ex-Pirate asked him this question, that his Noah's Ark with the animals
in it was on the floor near the table; but when he went to look for it
to show it to his friend he could not find it anywhere.
"It's gone," he said finally, after several minutes of vain searching
under tables and sofas. "It's gone, and all the animals too."
"They've gone?" repeated the ex-Pirate.
"Yes," said Tommy, dejectedly, "they've gone away again. Not only the
animals, but the Ark."
"The Ark!" exclaimed the ex-Pirate.
"Certainly," said Tommy. "My animals belonged in the Ark. There were two
of each."
"In Noah's Ark?" said the ex-Pirate.
"Yes; did you never see one?"
"Why, what nonsense!" laughed the ex-Pirate. "That was hundreds and
hundreds of years ago."
"I know it was," said Tommy, with dignity. "But my animals were
imitations."
The ex-Pirate was gazing absent-mindedly out of the window over toward
the ocean. "Your animals had invitations?" he said presently, recovering
himself. "Of course. They all did. The Ark was no promiscuous affair.
There was admission by card only. All those that had invitations got in;
the others got drowned."
Tommy saw that the ex-Pirate did not quite understand what he had said
to him, so he thought it would be wiser to branch out on some other
topic, but before he could do so his visitor remarked,
"They had lots of fun in the Ark," and he chuckled to himself.
"How do you know?" asked the little boy.
"The Sheep told me. He was one of the Few Hundred. I should like to have
been on board too."
"So should I," assented Tommy, eagerly, "especially if they were all as
nice as the animals we met the other day."
"It _would_ have been fun to take that trip," continued the ex-Pirate,
musingly. "I don't know but that we can, even now, fix it to go on
board."
"On board the Ark?" cried Tommy.
"Exactly. We would have to go a long way back through the Ages; but
perhaps we can fix that up with old Father Time. He might take us back
and let us go aboard."
Tommy stared vacantly at his peculiar companion, and wondered silently
if he had gone mad. Pretty soon the ex-Pirate said,
"Let's go."
"Where?"
"On board the Ark."
"How shall we do it?" asked Tommy, who felt that it could do no harm to
humor his caller.
"We will find Father Time, and see if he will go backwards for us. Where
is the clock?"
"In the hall down stairs," answered the little boy.
The two went out into the corridor and down the stairs to where the old
Dutch clock stood under the staircase, ticking loudly through the silent
house. It was much taller than either Tommy or the ex-Pirate, and as
they approached the little boy was amazed to see the clock's face
brighten up and smile, and wave its hands in greeting to the ex-Pirate.
The latter returned the courteous salute, and knocked on the door below.
The door immediately opened, and old Father Time, with his scythe and
his hour-glass, stepped out into the hallway, and nodded cheerfully to
the ex-Pirate.
"How do you do?" said he.
"Sixty seconds to the minute as usual," answered Father Time, genially.
"What can I do for you?"
"Can you go back a little?" asked the ex-Pirate, inquiringly.
"What for?" asked Father Time.
And then the ex-Pirate started in to explain what he wanted. His
argument was most involved, and Tommy Toddles could not follow it at
all; but the latter kept on talking as fast and as impressively as he
could, and occasionally he pulled out his pistols and shook them
vigorously in the air over his head. Father Time listened attentively,
and shook his head negatively for a long time, but finally he appeared
to yield to the ex-Pirate's persuasive arguments, and when he spoke he
said he would do what was wanted.
"Will you go?" said the ex-Pirate, turning quickly to Tommy. The little
boy hesitated a moment, because he did not know exactly where the
ex-Pirate wanted him to go, or how long he would be gone if he went; he
hesitated, but it was only for a moment, because he soon noticed that
Father Time was growing impatient, and the ex-Pirate looked slightly
displeased at the delay.
"Oh yes, I'll go," he said, impulsively.
[Illustration: THROUGH THE HALLS OF TIME.]
He had hardly spoken these words when Father Time slung his scythe and
his hour-glass over his shoulders, grabbed the ex-Pirate with one hand
and seized Tommy with the other. Then the old Dutch clock began burring
and whizzing, as if all the wheels were revolving as fast as they could
turn; and they must have been, for when Tommy glanced at the face of the
clock to see what the hour was the hands were racing around so fast that
he could hardly see them--and they were turning in the opposite
direction from the way clock hands usually travel. There was no time to
notice this slight peculiarity, however, for the little boy felt himself
rudely jerked off his feet, held firmly by the tight grasp of Father
Time, and before he could exclaim or object or expostulate, he saw
himself flying through space at what seemed to be the rate of many
hundreds of miles a minute. Father Time was vigorously working his
wings, and was speeding backwards, his long gray beard flowing in the
wind between Tommy and the ex-Pirate, who were sticking out straight
behind, and neither of whom had breath enough left to be able to say
anything.
[TO BE CONTINUED.]
FOOTNOTES:
[1] "On Board the Ark" is a sequel to "The Strange Adventures
of Tommy Toddles," which began in No. 790.
[Illustration: INTERSCHOLASTIC SPORT]
Although it may have been a surprise to many to see Whitman play his way
through to the finals at the Longwood Tournament last week, his success
was hardly unexpected by those who have been watching his work since his
defeat by Ware on Jarvis Field in May. Ware earned the championship of
the Boston schools on that occasion, and he had to play hard to do it,
defeating Whitman 6-4, 6-3, 7-5, but since that time his game seems to
have fallen off slightly, whereas Whitman's has vastly improved. He let
the champion take the first set of their match, 6-3, but in the three
that followed, Ware only pulled out five games.
[Illustration: L. E. Ware, umpiring. Hovey. Whitman.
FINAL MATCH OF THE LONGWOOD TENNIS TOURNAMENT.]
It cannot be said, however, that Ware played poor tennis, for that was
by no means the case. He played well--he certainly had to play well to
reach the semi-finals--but Whitman played better. Again and again,
especially during the first part of the match, Ware passed his opponent
at the net, which is Whitman's strong position. That kind of play won
him the first set; but Whitman braced after that, and closed up, and
although Ware got the balls over the net, he could not pass him. Ware
lacked head-work in placing. He seemed to lose much of his coolness as
soon as Whitman came up to him, and instead of lobbing, as he ought to
have done, or of going up to the net himself, he placed the balls
frequently to his opponent's advantage and to his own discomfiture. I
had expected to see Ware put up a strong offensive game, but his play
was mostly defensive. He had evidently not expected to encounter such a
change in his rival's methods. Whitman certainly showed greater
confidence in himself than he did on Jarvis Field, and was much more at
home at the net.
It may be that some of Ware's weakness was due to his lack of practice,
as he injured his wrist in June and did not touch a racquet for four
weeks; but I doubt if he could have defeated Whitman at Longwood, even
if he had been in the form that made him champion at the
Interscholastics. He will have to do some hard work between now and the
date of the Newport Tournament if he wishes to hold his own there. He
must pull himself together and keep from falling into that listless
style of play which proved so disastrous to him in the last two sets
against Whitman. The latter now stands a good chance of carrying off the
honors of the year, if present form may be depended upon to be
prophetic. He has beaten at Longwood men who were considered his
superiors, and he only met defeat at the hands of a man who is rated as
the fourth player in the United States.
The Hovey-Whitman match was one of the most interesting of the week, in
spite of the fact that it was evident from the start that the school
player was outclassed. This fact might not have been so patent if
Whitman had kept his nerve better, but he seemed to be afraid of his
antagonist from the very outset, and did not put up anywhere near so
good a game as he did against Ware. Hovey apparently realized this
weakness, and kept close up to the net. Whitman made his greatest
mistake in falling back, for Hovey's net game is hard to beat. This also
gave the champion an opportunity to do some sharp volleying with a stiff
wrist and forearm--strokes that the younger player was unable to return.
Occasionally Whitman made some brilliant plays, but he was overshadowed
by the veteran.
Hovey took the first four games largely on his opponent's nervousness,
but in the fifth he drove out of court twice, and Whitman got in a
first-rate side-line place. Thus with the score 40-15 in his favor he
ought to have taken the game, but he let Hovey pull it up to deuce, and
then he drove out, giving Hovey vantage, which was followed by a hot
rally, ending in a sharp stroke that Whitman was unable to reach. In
this set Whitman made but ten points to Hovey's twenty-six, and not
until the third game of the second set did the Interscholastic player
secure a game. Even this was somewhat of a gift, for Hovey started in
with a double fault and then drove into the net. The fifth game showed
some pretty rocky playing on both sides, but Whitman finally secured his
vantage on a clever side-line place, and made game on Hovey's wild drive
out of court. The sixth game of this set was also deuce--for Whitman was
doing his best work at this juncture--but it went to Hovey, who, having
coaxed his opponent into back court, dropped a teaser just over the net.
The set score was 38-28, the closest of the match.
In the last set Whitman began to lose some of the timidity which had
characterized his play up to this point, and in the third game, when
Hovey had him 40-0, he worked it up to deuce, but unfortunately
eventually lost on drives out of court. He kept his nerve, nevertheless,
and earned the fourth game with steady, and at times, brilliant work.
Hovey could not connect on the young man's serve and drove out. Whitman
then ran up to the net and scored a beautiful side place, making it
40-0. I cannot help feeling that if he had done more of this work he
would have kept Hovey playing an hour longer for his win. The score then
went from 40-0 to 40-30, but Hovey followed with a drive out, and it was
Whitman's game. This was the end of the latter's good work. Hovey took a
brace and had it all his own way until the end, giving Whitman only two
points in the next three games, closing the set with the score 27-13.
Whitman is only seventeen years old, and goes to Harvard in the fall.
His school in Boston was Hopkinson's, although for five years previous
to this last he attended the Roxbury Latin School. Ware is a Roxbury
Latin player, and also enters Harvard with the class of '99.
Besides Whitman and Ware another scholastic player at Longwood was W. M.
Scudder, of St. Paul's. He has the making of a good player, but only got
as far as the first round, when he met Paret, and was defeated, 1-6,
6-2, 5-7, 6-4, 6-3. Scudder played a good game in this match, in spite
of his ill-success, volleying and smashing with a degree of proficiency
that would have done credit to many an older player. Paret won by better
head-work, but I am confident Scudder will be heard from later on.
The reference to New England football made in these columns two weeks
ago has aroused the interest of a number of readers in that section, and
several questions have been asked about the origin of the present
association. The subject is of enough general interest to receive a
little more space than it was possible to devote to it last time. It is
of enough general interest, because this football league, with the
possible exception of the New York Interscholastic track-athletic
organization, was the first interscholastic association formed in this
country. It came about in a very natural way in the fall of 1888.
Harvard football men had for several years been deploring the necessity
of devoting two or three weeks at the beginning of each fall term to the
weeding out and selection of new football material, and the idea finally
suggested itself that if the schools could be used for this purpose the
university would gain much by such an arrangement. It then became clear
that the way to use the schools would be to get up some sort of a
football league that would train players who would eventually enter
Harvard, and furnish material for the university eleven.
This idea of organizing an interscholastic league emanated from the
fertile brain of R. Seaver Hale, then in college. He consulted with
Captain Sears, of the 'Varsity football team, with F. C. Woodman, C. A.
Porter, and A. P. Butler, members of the eleven, and with Fred Fisk, who
took a living interest in the athletic welfare of the college. These six
men discussed Hale's idea, and then decided to put in $25 apiece and to
offer a cup which should be contested for by football teams from the
Boston schools.
When the question was submitted to the school football players it was
looked upon favorably at once by them, and the interscholastic
association was formed. The schools to come in were the Cambridge High
and Latin, the Roxbury Latin, the Boston Latin, Chauncy Hall,
Hopkinson's, Nobles, and Hale's, Nichol's, and Stone's combined. The six
Harvard men then got together again, and drew up rules and regulations
which should govern the playing for the cup. Hale was the Thomas
Jefferson of the crowd, and turned out a code of laws that suited the
schools perfectly.
The formation of the league created a great boom in football in the
schools. Up to that time playing had been of a desultory nature, and
games had been arranged from week to week as the captains chose. There
had never been any training or system. Now all this changed. Schedules
were prepared and adhered to, and the players all made it a point to
keep in as good training as possible. Each school had its eye on the
cup. The Harvard men were much pleased at the success of their scheme,
and the 'Varsity Captain looked hopefully toward the development of good
material for the next year. The donors of the cup acted as a sort of
advisory committee, and kept a general supervision over the league.
Things progressed fairly on this line for a while, until the sport was
so generally taken up all over the country that the college players no
longer felt the necessity for taking that parental interest in the
schools which had prompted the offering of a cup. Succeeding 'Varsity
Captains, who had not gone through the labors of Sears and his
predecessors to get good material, did not quite see the necessity for
devoting their time to overseeing scholastic matches, and so the schools
gradually took the management of their league into their own hands. The
teams belonging to the association increased so in number, that the
association had to be divided into two parts, known respectively as the
Senior League and the Junior League, the Seniors playing each year for
the cup, the Juniors playing for a pennant. The winner of the Junior
League entered the Senior League the following year. The latter was
kept under the management of the donors of the cup, but the Juniors more
or less ran themselves.
This method has now again been changed, as described in the ROUND TABLE
two weeks ago. There is henceforth to be only one League playing in two
divisions. In the first are six Seniors playing for the cup; in the
second, all the rest playing for a pennant. At the end of the season, or
at the beginning of the next season, the last team of the first section
will play the first team in the second to see whether they change
places. This arrangement will serve to keep the first division always
made up of six teams.
The management of both divisions rests in one committee composed of
three members of the schools, the Captain of the Harvard eleven, two
Harvard men, who replace the original cup donors, and one graduate of
the schools, who may be a Harvard man, but who at present is a Tufts
College man, a graduate of the English High-School. This makes seven in
all. It is well that one of the committee should not be a Harvard man,
and so the presence of the Tufts man makes the arrangement as just as it
should be. Harvard having offered the cup, should, of course, always
retain a controlling voice in the councils of the association.
The High-School of Stockton, California, will apply for membership in
the Academic Athletic League of the Pacific coast at the opening of the
next school term, and as there is no reason to suppose admission will be
refused we shall doubtless see some Stocktonians in the front ranks at
the next semiannual field-day. Stockton H.-S. has a good record in
athletics, and in addition to the regulation sports of the school list
they indulge in rowing. The Stockton Athletic Club has for some time
allowed the High-School oarsmen to use their barges, and the interest in
aquatics has become so lively that a race may soon be arranged with the
Oakland High-School. O. H.-S. has not rowed any yet, but there is a
movement on foot to get the use of the University of California boats
that are kept on Oakland Creek, not far from the school, and as this
courtesy will doubtless be granted to the boys by the U.C. Navy, a water
contest may not be far distant.
[Illustration: Steele. Luce. Field. Chapman.
Inghalls. Howard (Manager). Daly (Trainer). Lawrence (Captain.)
Parkhurst. Cady.
Ingraham. Bradin. Sturtevant.
HARTFORD HIGH-SCHOOL TRACK-ATHLETIC TEAM.
Champions of the Connecticut High-School Athletic Association.]
Of the eleven men who carried off the championship of the Connecticut
High-School A.A. for the Hartford High-School, Lawrence, Field,
Ingraham, and Parkhurst have graduated, and Cady will go to Andover for
a year before entering Yale. These departures will greatly weaken the
H.H.-S. team, and the Captain must now look to the development of new
material, or else those ponies from Lakeville will come down again next
spring and this time take the championship back with them to the
Hotchkiss School.
Hartford's loss is Andover's gain. At the New England Interscholastics
last June, Andover took both the high and the low hurdles with Hine; and
in the dual games against Worcester, Andover got the high hurdles with
Holt, losing the low race to Worcester through Barker. Both Hine and
Holt graduated this year, however, and Andover would have been left
without a hurdler if Cady had not decided to spend a year in
Massachusetts. Cady did not make a very strong showing at the
Connecticut H.-S.A.A. games this year because of a dislocated shoulder.
He ran second to Field in the high, and third in the low hurdles. But I
feel confident that he has good speed, which careful and systematic
training is sure to bring out. He will make a valuable acquisition to
Andover's athletic team. Some day he will be as good a man as his
brother.
THE GRADUATE.
[Illustration: THE CAMERA CLUB]
Any questions in regard to photograph matters will be willingly
answered by the editor of this column, and we should be glad to
hear from any of our club who can make helpful suggestions.
PAPERS FOR BEGINNERS, NO. 10.
PRINTING PROCESSES: THE BLUE PRINT.
The number of processes used for photography are many. The very simplest
is the blue-print paper. This quality is not the only one which
recommends it alike to the beginner and the advanced amateur. It is
nearly equal to the best silver prints in detail and clearness, and,
unlike them, is absolutely permanent. It does not require any
manipulation after printing except washing in clear water. It is only
half the price of silvered paper, and if prepared at home is still less
expensive. Then blue paper is specially adapted to water pictures and to
landscapes where there are plenty of clouds in the sky, and to those
which have a long perspective with hills or mountains in the distance.
The ready-prepared paper costs twenty cents for a 4 x 5 package
containing two dozen sheets. That prepared at home will cost about five
cents for the same quantity.
The process of printing with blue paper is as follows: Place the
negative in the printing-frame, glass side out, lay a sheet of blue
paper on the film side, fasten in the frame and expose to bright
sunlight. Blue prints may be made on a cloudy day, but the quicker they
are printed the clearer and sharper will be the picture. Print until the
shadows are slightly bronzed--that is, have a sort of metallic or shiny
look, and are a bluish-green in color.
Take the print from the frame and place it face up in a tray of clear
water, and let it stand in the sun for a minute or two, and then wash
for fifteen or twenty minutes in running water. If one has not running
water, wash the print in a few changes of water till the water ceases to
be tinged with the blue color of the print. If the fine details of the
picture wash out, the picture has not been printed long enough. If the
high or white lights in the picture are tinged with blue, then the
picture has been printed too long.
After the print is washed sufficiently, lay it between two clean pieces
of white blotting-paper to absorb the moisture, then pin it up by the
corner to dry.
It is very easy to sensitize the blue paper. Any unglazed paper will
answer, but the Rives paper is the best. The following formula was sent
a few days ago by Sir Knight Willis H. Kerr, University of Omaha,
Bellevue, Wisconsin:
No. 1.
Citrate of iron and ammonia 1 oz.
Water 4 "
No. 2.
Red prussiate of potash 1 "
Water 4 "
Keep the bottles in a dark place or wrapped in black paper. Mix equal
parts of No. 1 and No. 2, and having first dampened the paper with a
brush or sponge put on enough of the solution to tint the paper evenly
and apply lightly to avoid streaks. As soon as the paper is dry it is
ready for use. The operation of sensitizing the paper must be done by
gas or lamp light.
SIR KNIGHT FRANK S. WHITNEY asks how to mount prints made on Omega
paper without removing the gloss, and also wishes a good formula
for paste, and to know just how mounting of prints is done. Trim
the prints ready for mounting before they are toned. Tone them,
and squeegee them to the ferrotype plate. When they are thoroughly
dry apply paste to the back of the print before removing it from
the ferrotype. This will moisten the print just enough to let it
be removed from the plate without tearing or sticking, loosening
the corner first with the point of a pen-knife. Have the
card-mount ready, and lay the picture carefully on it just where
it is to be pasted. The prints treated in this way lose little of
the gloss made by the ferrotype plate. When first beginning to
mount pictures it is best to mark the place on the card where the
picture is to be pasted. Lay a piece of tissue-paper over the face
of the print, and rub the squeegee over it lightly. Take off the
paper, and if any paste has oozed out from the edges of the print,
wipe it off carefully. Then lay a fresh piece of paper over the
print and rub down smoothly. If one has no squeegee, a smooth
glass bottle answers well for small prints. For a formula for good
paste see No. 784.
ADVERTISEMENTS.
Highest of all in Leavening Power.--Latest U. S. Gov't Report.
[Illustration: Royal Baking Powder]
[Illustration: If afflicted with SORE EYES USE Dr. ISAAC THOMPSON'S EYE
WATER]
HARPER'S NEW CATALOGUE,
Thoroughly revised, classified, and indexed, will be sent by mail to any
address on receipt of ten cents.
[Illustration: BICYCLING]
This Department is conducted in the interest of Bicyclers, and the
Editor will be pleased to answer any question on the subject. Our
maps and tours contain much valuable data kindly supplied from the
official maps and road-books of the League of American Wheelmen.
Recognizing the value of the work being done by the L. A. W., the
Editor will be pleased to furnish subscribers with membership
blanks and information so far as possible.
[Illustration: Copyright, 1895, by Harper & Brothers.]
One of the prettiest and perhaps the best trip for an afternoon ride in
the vicinity of Philadelphia is to run up through Fairmount Park,
following the Wissahickon, which is a branch of the Schuylkill, and
return to Philadelphia by Bryn-Mawr. The distance altogether is about
thirty-three or thirty-four miles, and the road is not only a fine one
from a bicyclist's point of view, but is most picturesque, cool, and
pleasant. Leaving the public buildings at Broad and Market streets,
proceed as described last week, up Broad Street to Spring Garden Street;
turning left into this follow it to the bridge, but instead of crossing
this turn to the right through East Park, leaving the reservoir on the
right, and then keeping to the Schuylkill until Street Lane is crossed.
Here the Wissahickon drive begins, and the grade from this point to the
end of the drive, while it is not the most level, is not by any means
too hilly for pleasant bicycle riding. At the end of the Wissahickon
drive turn left into the new road, which has been recently opened,
thence turn right up the Ridge Road, and continue on to Barren Hill.
Here you should turn sharp to the left again, and run down a hill,
keeping to the right at its foot. This road carries you on to Spring
Mill, and from here the road again, running along by the Schuylkill,
will bring you into Conshohocken, a distance of seventeen miles and a
half from the public buildings in Philadelphia. The road along the route
is gravel, but it is good bicycling over almost every foot of it. There
is no very good stopping-place in Conshohocken, but the wheelman will
find a road-house which will serve the purpose of a noonday meal very
well.
Leaving Conshohocken, cross the river, going south westward, then
continuing southward, follow the route marked on the map to Bryn-Mawr,
the road from Conshohocken until Lancaster Avenue is reached being
easily followed with the exception of a sharp turn to the right soon
after crossing the river, and another turn to the left a few moments
later. From Bryn-Mawr through Ardmore, Overbrook, into Market Street at
the ferry, is a straight run along Lancaster Avenue, which is paved with
Belgian block pavement from the point where it is joined by Fifty-fourth
Street to Forty-third Street, but is otherwise a capital bicycle route.
A somewhat pleasanter way to return from Conshohocken is to follow the
western bank of the Schuylkill until you strike Belmont Avenue. This is
in capital condition, and will carry you through Fairmount Park. On
reaching Elm Avenue, turn left, and again turn left into Girard Avenue,
and from this point either continue, crossing the river and running down
Grand Avenue to Grand Street, or turn to the right just before crossing
and follow the western bank of the river as far as Spring Garden Street,
where another crossing may be made, and the return to the public
buildings followed as already described.
As was said last week, Philadelphia is most admirably suited for
bicycling, but it would be difficult to find a more picturesque road
than that which runs up through Fairmount Park or East Park and out
towards the source of the Wissahickon, and this run is one of the best
that can be found not only in the vicinity of Philadelphia, but anywhere
in the United States.
NOTE.--Map of New York city asphalted streets in No. 809. Map of
route from New York to Tarrytown in No. 810. New York to Stamford,
Connecticut, in No. 811. New York to Staten Island in No. 812. New
Jersey from Hoboken to Pine Brook in No. 813. Brooklyn in No. 814.
Brooklyn to Babylon in No. 815. Brooklyn to Northport in No. 816.
Tarrytown to Poughkeepsie in No. 817. Poughkeepsie to Hudson in
No. 818. Hudson to Albany in No. 819. Tottenville to Trenton in
820. Trenton to Philadelphia in 821. Philadelphia in No. 221.
[Illustration: THE PUDDING STICK]
This Department is conducted in the interest of Girls and Young
Women, and the Editor will be pleased to answer any question on
the subject so far as possible. Correspondents should address
Editor.
This Pudding Stick will be a very practical affair. In these summer
days, when families are separated, or young people are paying visits to
their friends, a great many letters must be written, and it is well to
know what sort of stationery to use, what sort of ink is best, and, in
brief, to understand the small details which make a letter or note
graceful and elegant. The reverse of elegance is caused by lack of
attention to what seem to be mere trifles, yet, in a way, nothing is
trifling.
Thick white note-paper without lines is the approved style for young
ladies, the sheet of note-paper folded once in the middle to fit an
envelope which comes with the paper. Little girls may use the pretty
Brownie paper, or other note-paper with a dainty device in the corner;
but girls over twelve years of age should confine themselves to the
clear smooth white paper. If you cannot write without lines to keep your
words from a zigzag course, slip in between the folds of your paper a
heavily ruled sheet, which will be a guide until practice enables you to
control your hand so that you can keep your writing straight and even
without an outside help.
Use black ink and a good pen, steel or gold, as you prefer. Keep your
pen in perfect order.
At the top of your paper, a little to the right hand, write very plainly
your post-office address. If your house has a special name, as, for
instance, "Sunnyside," "The Owlery," "The Wren's Nest," "Riverbank,"
that will be first mentioned, but must be followed by the names of your
town, or village, county, and State. It is important to give each of
these in full. If you reside in a city, your street and number must be
plainly written at the top of your letter. Should your letters be sent
to a post-office box, instead of to your house, give the number of the
box. Never omit these details. You cannot be sure that the most intimate
friend will not be glad to save herself the trouble of looking up your
address, and the proper thing is to be methodical and begin a letter
with care.
Of course, in corresponding with your parents, sisters, and brothers, or
dear schoolmates, you may be very affectionate in your expressions.
"Dearest Mother," "Darling Papa," "My Own Dear Mollie," are all
appropriate if your heart prompts you to write in this way to your home
people. It is well to be less demonstrative with others, and "Dear
Susie," or "My Dear John," are in better taste when writing to your
cousins at a distance. "Dear" is considered less formal than "My Dear."
Should you have occasion to write a letter of business, make clear to
your correspondent what you wish to say. Business letters should be
straightforward and to the point, and as short as is consistent with
telling all that ought to be told. Home letters, and letters of
affection, as also letters written when on a journey may be as long as
you choose, and as far as possible, should be written as you would talk,
a letter being a talk on paper to a friend out of sight.
No part of a letter is of more consequence than the signature. I
sometimes receive letters from strangers, and am wholly unable to
ascertain the names of the writers, their signature being so hurriedly
written that it is what we call blind. Do you not think it worth while
to write your name plainly when you remember that the name stands for
you wherever you go, that it represents your character, that its lack
makes a legal document worthless, and adds worth to whatever it is
affixed? Always write your name in full at the end of every letter,
preceding it by "Yours sincerely," or "Faithfully yours," or "Your
loving daughter," or any other appropriate form or phrase.
[Illustration: Signature]
* * * * *
LAUGHING BABIES
are loved by everybody. Those raised on the Gail Borden Eagle Brand
Condensed Milk are comparatively free from sickness. _Infant Health_ is
a valuable pamphlet for mothers. Send your address for a copy to New
York Condensed Milk Co., N. Y.--[_Adv._]
ADVERTISEMENTS.
Arnold
Constable & Co.
* * * * *
SPECIAL.
Manufacturer's Sample Pieces
Fine Swiss, Nainsook, and Cambric
EMBROIDERIES
33-1/3% Under Regular Prices.
* * * * *
Broadway & 19th st.
NEW YORK.
=The Cranks= of a =Columbia Bicycle=
[Illustration]
differ from all other bicycle cranks. Easy to take off, easy to clean
bearings, easy to put back. No nuts or bolts to work loose or catch
trousers.
Look like one piece; _are_ one piece mechanically.
=One of the many improvements that maintain Columbia Standard.=
_"1896 Machine in 1895."_
=GET THE NEAREST AGENT TO EXPLAIN.=
* * * * *
POPE MANUFACTURING CO.
GENERAL OFFICE AND FACTORIES, HARTFORD, CONN.
BRANCH STORES:
BOSTON, NEW YORK, CHICAGO, PROVIDENCE, PHILADELPHIA, BUFFALO, BROOKLYN,
BALTIMORE, WASHINGTON, SAN FRANCISCO
Postage Stamps, &c.
[Illustration]
100 all dif. Venezuela, Costa Rica, etc., only 10c.; 200 all dif. Hayti,
Hawaii, etc., only 50c. Ag'ts wanted at 50 per ct. com. List FREE!
=C. A. Stegmann=, 2722 Eads Av., St. Louis, Mo.
=100= all different, China, etc., 10c.; 5 Saxony, 10c.; 40 Spain, 40c.;
6 Tunis, 14c.; 10 U. S. Revenues, 10c. Agts. wtd., 50% com.; '95 list
free.
CRITTENDEN & BORGMAN CO., Detroit, Mich.
=BAKER= sells recitations and =PLAYS=
23 Winter St., Boston
CATALOGUES FREE.
[Illustration: If afflicted with SORE EYES USE Dr. ISAAC THOMPSON'S EYE
WATER]
[Illustration]
Good Music
Franklin Square Song Collection.
GOOD MUSIC arouses a spirit of good-will, creates a harmonious
atmosphere, and where harmony and good-will prevail, the disobedient,
turbulent, unruly spirit finds no resting-place. Herbert Spencer puts
his final test of any plan of culture in the form of a question, "Does
it create a pleasurable excitement in the pupils?" Judged by this
criterion, Music deserves the first rank, for no work done in the school
room is so surely creative of pleasure as singing. Do we not all agree,
then, that Vocal Music has power to benefit every side of the child
nature? And in these days, when we seek to make our schools the arenas
where children may grow into symmetrical, substantial, noble characters,
can we afford to neglect so powerful an aid as Music? Let us as rather
encourage it in every way possible.
_Nowhere can you find for Home or School a better Selection Of Songs and
Hymns than in the Franklin Square Song Collection._
Sold Everywhere. Price, 50 cents; Cloth, $1.00. Full contents of the
Several Numbers, with Specimen Pages of favorite Songs and Hymns, Sent
by Harper & Brothers, New York, to any address.
A Treat for the Music Rack.
At the close of my former "Anecdotes of Von Buelow," I wrote
against the German conservatories in general, and against
Stuttgart in particular. Here are a few sentences on the same
subject taken from an article by John C. Filmore which appeared in
the December issue of _Music_:
"Touch in general is of two kinds, that based upon the blow
principle and that based upon the principle of pressure. The
former was the kind of touch universally prevalent. It is
exemplified in extreme degree in Plaidy's _Technical Studies_, and
in Lebhert and Stark. Unmodified by other ideals, it produces a
hard, rigid, unelastic touch, and a corresponding dryness and
monotony of tone quality such as makes really expressive and
artistic piano-playing impossible. This is the reason why the
Stuttgart Conservatory, with its hundreds of pupils, yearly turns
out no real artists. The pressure principle has found place in the
playing of many European pedagogues without being adequately
analyzed or explained. Julius Knorr and his pupils employed this
kind of touch with beautiful effect; but if any of them even so
much as mentioned the distinction between blow and pressure, I
have never been able to hear of it.
"The two most valuable means of producing that condition of the
nervous and muscular apparatus on which a sympathetic touch, based
on the pressure principle, depends, are, so far as I am aware, the
two-finger exercise of Dr. William Mason, and the up-arm touch.
This latter is very lightly touched upon in the first volume of
Mason's _Touch and Technic_; but it is of enormous value, as I
have had occasion to know in the experience of the last years, and
vastly more can be done with it than most players and teachers are
aware."
I also stated in my last that Von Buelow was not a _great_ pianist.
But that he was a _popular_ pianist there can be no doubt, though
why he was popular it is hard to understand; for, according to
Finck, Von Buelow was a pianist in whom the intellectual greatly
overbalanced the technical and emotional; and so his playing,
while it might be interesting in a certain sense, was really dry
from its lack of the emotional quality. Perhaps if Von Buelow had
been born half a century later he might have been a greater
pianist, for at present the advantages for piano students are much
greater than formerly.
I suppose that when Von Buelow was young Stuttgart and similar
schools were in the lead, and from those his technic touch and
emotional tendencies could not be as fully developed as at the
present day--not in Germany, but rather in Paris, or even in the
great musical centres of our own country. But the great advantage
that the "Home of Music" has over us is in her concerts and opera;
not so much quality as quantity, and at _cheaper rates_. We have
good concerts, but so few, comparatively, and too high-priced for
the average person to attend many. How can a violin or a piano
student in this country hear many violinists or pianists? It is in
this respect that Germany is far ahead of us; while it is in her
system of piano teaching and playing that she is pedantic and
behind the age; and the sooner she awakens to a realization of the
unfortunate truth, the better it will be for our nevertheless ever
dear beloved Germany.
MARIE THERESE BERGE.
NEW YORK CITY.
The Helping Hand.
We are glad to announce that the sum for the Willie A. Grant memorial
stone has been secured, the contributors being:
A Friend, Maine $1.00
Grant Knauff 1.00
Sallie F. Hodges .25
Grace Pearl Richards .25
James F. Rodgers .25
Fred W. Baxter 1.00
Thomas W. Smythe .50
Helen Hunt Ermentrout .50
Fanny C. McIlvaine .25
James W. Gerard, India 1.00
-----
The amount needed $6.00
These sums are given to place a Grant memorial stone in the School
Building, Sir William having contributed to the Fund $2.50. He was a
Brooklyn member, and died last year.
The following contributions have reached us since last report:
Robert I. Wilson .10
W. S. M. Silber 1.00
Hubert and James Mitchell, Truman and
John Pierce, Samuel Canfield, and Allen
Russell 5.20
Miss J. F. Gillespie 1.75
George Pierce 2.00
Kirk Munroe Chapter, of Kingman, Ariz. 1.00
Iswa Finchon, South Africa 2.55
Henry S. Canby 1.00
G. W. Hinckley 1.00
Lancelot Chapter, of Newtonville, Mass. 3.00
Edison Chapter, of Bangor, Me. 2.00
Virgilia M. Porter .50
Edith Cartledge 5.00
S. A. Rulon, Jun. .10
Ruth S. Earle .10
Belvidere Chapter, of Daretown, N. J. 5.00
Cornelius Newman .10
Cornelius S. Lombardi 1.00
Paul E. Good 1.00
Leonard, Florence, and Helen Whittier 1.00
Lois S. Miller 1.00
Esther R Custer 1.00
-----
36.40
The Order is to raise $3000, if possible, and still needs about $1000.
Any sum from anybody is welcome. The Fund is to build an Industrial
Schoolhouse for the boys at Good Will Farm. These boys are orphans and
known to be deserving.
GOOD WILL MITE
* * * * *
HARPER'S ROUND TABLE
INDUSTRIAL SCHOOL FUND
_Amount_, $........................
.................................
_Contributor_.
_This money is contributed, not because it is asked for, but
because I want to give it._
* * * * *
If you use this Good Will Mite, simply pin it to your letter, in order
that it may be detached for filing. If the amount is given by more than
one contributor, add blanks for their names, but attach the added sheet
firmly to the Mite, that it may not become detached and lost. Include a
given name in each case, and write plainly, to avoid errors on the Honor
Roll.
Kinks.
No. 92.--BEHEADINGS.
The beheaded letters, if rightly guessed, will spell the name of a
famous English revolutionist.
1. Behead cowardly, and leave a large black bird.
2. Behead a skating pavilion, and leave a writing-fluid.
3. Behead a fruit, and leave to exist.
4. Behead a red pigment, and leave a serpent.
5. Behead to blow gently, and leave abaft.
6. Behead an occurrence, and leave an opening.
7. Behead to bind, and leave a unit.
8. Behead a den, and leave atmosphere.
* * * * *
No. 93.--COIN OF THE REALM.
Men will fight for sterling silver,
And hoard the shining gold;
For the dollar is almighty,
With uses manifold.
There are various other moneys
Not taken in account,
That have their special values
And uses paramount.
1. There's one that's hard and brittle,
Grayish or silvery white;
'Tis used in bells and mirrors
To make them clean and bright.
2. One oft purchases an office.
Which never should be sold.
3. One's the heritage of children,
In goods or lands or gold.
4. This one ushers in another,
5. A union of two lives--
Oft a curious kind of lottery
For husbands or for wives.
6. This is paid as compensation
To many an injured wife;
7. And this is used as medicine--
Mayhap 'twill save a life.
8. This one curses every miser,
9. And this will bitter be;
10. This is useful confirmation,
11. And this makes all agree.
* * * * *
No. 94.--FIVE WORDS SQUARES.
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * * *
* * * *
* * * *
* * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * *
Upper left-hand square.--1. To exist. 2. A metal. 3. Not good. 4.
Extremities.
Upper right-hand square.--1. To make a sound. 2. What heathens worship.
3. A knot. 4. A dale.
Central square.--1. To utter with musical sounds. 2. A stone image. 3.
Part of the head. 4. Joy.
Lower left-hand square.--1. To bluster. 2. A notion. 3. Tidy. 4. Outer
door.
Lower right-hand square.--1. Snakelike fishes. 2. To publish. 3. An acid
fruit. 4. A pace.
Answers to Kinks.
No. 90.--Ben Bolt.
Odo. Mat. Shadrack. Fish. Ord. Count. Sam. Mesheck. Bert. Hook.
Key. Banks. Lear. Abe. Abednego. Pasha. Eve. Herod. Olive. Hemans.
Ham. Ibsen. Kit. Wayne. Church. Atlas. Will Low. King. Bird.
Sargent.
* * * * *
No. 91.
N A M E
E D I S
S O L O
T S E R
Questions and Answers.
Howard Notman, Keene Valley, N. Y., is interested in beetles, and wants
to get specimens from Florida, Mexico, Central and South America. In
return he will send good American specimens. Barbara A.: The new badges
are delayed by the decision about design. We shall, if possible, secure
the new gold badges for fifty cents each. Margaret Slosson, Pittsford,
Vt., says: "I would like to exchange fresh specimens--that is, ones not
pressed--of ferns described in Gray's _Manual_ of the botany of the
northern United States. Will those wishing ferns please send list of
ferns wanted, and list of ones for exchange?"
In the new form of the ROUND TABLE, the advertisements are to be bound
into the complete volume. Not a few people think the advertisements far
too interesting to throw away. Florence E. Cowan, who belongs to a
Chapter that has been most active in helping the School Fund, suggests
that the Order gives to Good Will a library. We like the suggestion, but
think the best plan is to first finish the Fund. Rebekah Philips Dixon,
1513 Jackson Street, San Francisco. Cal., wants to hear from anybody
interested in college yells and colors, and especially asks "M. T." who
started the discussion about yells, to write her.
The Lafayette Chapter, Norman Hart, Easton, Pa., is to begin publication
of _Leisure Hours_, and wants original contributions that are short, say
300 words. The Lafayette is an active Chapter, and its paper ought to be
a good one.
A Good Trick in Dominoes.
Here is a trick played with dominoes which may be new: Spread out
a set of dominoes upon the table, being careful to extract one for
your own use. Inform the company that if they will match the
dominoes you have laid down, using every domino, you will, after
leaving the room, determine the numbers at either end of the
match. You then leave the room, and read the numbers on your
stolen domino. This will almost infallibly prove to be the end
numbers of the match. When the match has been formed and concealed
by a handkerchief, you enter the room and announce the end
numbers.
VINCENT V. M. BEEDE.
[Illustration: STAMPS]
This Department is conducted in the interest of stamp and coin
collectors, and the Editor will be pleased to answer any question
on these subjects so far as possible. Correspondents should
address Editor Stamp Department.
Have you noticed that U. S. stamps are now printed on water-marked
paper? The water-mark can be seen quite plainly in the blank margin, but
is very indistinct in the stamps themselves. It consists of the letters
U S P S in double line capitals 16 mm. high repeated, and the probable
intention was to have one of the letters on each stamp. But if so the
work has been carelessly done by the paper-makers, as there are only
ninety letters to the one hundred stamps, together with the two blank
margins on the two sides of each sheet. The arrangement is as follows:
P S U S P S U S P
S U S P S U S P S
U S P S U S P S U
S P S U S P S U S
P S U S P S U S P
S U S P S U S P S
U S P S U S P S U
S P S U S P S U S
P S U S P S U S P
S U S P S U S P S
Only nine letters horizontally, to each of the ten lines. It is to be
hoped that the Postmaster-General will have the paper made in such a way
that each and every stamp will have the same water-mark. Why not use
the letters U. S. on each stamp? They could be made 4 or 5 mm. high, and
be plainly seen. The New South Wales stamps, for instance, are marked
"N. S. W.," with a crown above. So far as I have seen, the present
water-mark appears on the following stamps: 1c. blue; 2c. red, on all
three types of the triangle; 8c. purple, and 10c. dark green.
A. CORT.--The dealers sell quarters of 1819 at 75c., dimes of
1838-39 at 20c. each. Age has nothing to do with the value of a
coin. You can buy some coins 2000 years old and over at 25c. each
at the dealers.
ALICE CALHOUN.--Impossible to answer your question as value
depends on what the stamps are. You can buy a packet of 1000
varieties of stamps from dealers for $15.
M. C. W.--Sold by dealers at 8c.
A. BALL.--The initials D. G. on coins mean "Deo Gratia," that is
"By the grace of God." Almost all mottoes and inscriptions on
coins are in Latin, and usually with many abbreviations.
H. B. CARING, Rochester, N.Y.--I have a letter for you which has
been returned from Rochester.
PHILATUS.
[Illustration: Ivory Soap]
At all grocery stores east of the Rocky Mountains two sizes of Ivory
Soap are sold; one that costs five cents a cake, and a larger size. The
larger cake is the more convenient and economical for laundry and
general household use. If your Grocer is out of it, insist on his
getting it for you.
THE PROCTER & GAMBLE CO., CIN'TI.
EARN A TRICYCLE!
[Illustration]
We wish to introduce our Teas, Spices, and Baking Powder. Sell 30 lbs.
and we will give you a Fairy Tricycle; sell 25 lbs. for a Solid Silver
Watch and Chain; 50 lbs for a Gold Watch and Chain; 75 lbs. for a
Bicycle; 10 lbs. for a Beautiful Gold Ring. Express prepaid if cash is
sent for goods. Write for catalog and order sheet.
W. G. BAKER,
SPRINGFIELD, MASS.
=DEAFNESS & HEAD NOISES CURED= by my =INVISIBLE= Tubular Cushions. Have
helped more to good =HEAR=ing than all other devices combined Whispers
=HEAR=d. Help ears as glasses do eyes. =F. Hiscox=, 853 B'dway, N.Y.
Book of proofs FREE
[Illustration]
WONDER CABINET =FREE=. Missing Link Puzzle, Devil's Bottle, Pocket
Camera, Latest Wire Puzzle, Spook Photos, Book of Sleight of Hand, Total
Value 60c. Sent free with immense catalogue of 1000 Bargains for 10c.
for postage.
INGERSOLL & BRO., 65 Cortlandt Street N. Y.
[Illustration: If afflicted with SORE EYES USE Dr. ISAAC THOMPSON'S EYE
WATER]
Books Worth Having.
* * * * *
AFLOAT WITH THE FLAG.
By W. J. HENDERSON, Author of "Sea Yarns for Boys," etc.
Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1.25.
THE BOY TRAVELLERS IN THE LEVANT.
Adventures of Two Youths in a Journey through Morocco, Algeria,
Tunis, Greece, and Turkey, with Visits to the Islands of Rhodes
and Cyprus, and the Site of Ancient Troy. By THOMAS W. KNOX.
Profusely Illustrated. Square 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $3.00.
THE FUR-SEAL'S TOOTH.
A Story of Alaskan Adventure. By KIRK MUNROE. Illustrated. Post
8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1.25.
CADET DAYS.
A Story of West Point. By Captain KING. Illustrated. Post 8vo,
Cloth, Ornamental, $1.25.
_OTHER BOOKS BY CAPTAIN KING:_
=CAMPAIGNING WITH CROOK, AND STORIES OF ARMY LIFE.= Illustrated.
Post 8vo, Cloth, $1.25.
=A WAR-TIME WOOING.= Illustrated by R. F. ZOGBAUM. Post 8vo, Cloth,
$1.00.
=BETWEEN THE LINES.= A Story of the War. Illustrated by GILBERT
GAUL. Post 8vo, Cloth, $1.25.
TWILIGHT LAND.
Written and Illustrated by HOWARD PYLE. 8vo, Half Leather,
Ornamental, $2.50.
_OTHER BOOKS BY HOWARD PYLE:_
=MEN OF IRON.= 8vo, Cloth, $2.00.
=A MODERN ALADDIN.= Post 8vo, Cloth, $1.25.
=THE WONDER CLOCK.= Large 8vo, Cloth, $3.00.
=PEPPER AND SALT.= 4to, Cloth, $2.00.
=THE ROSE OF PARADISE.= Post 8vo, Cloth, $1.25.
* * * * *
Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, New York
_The above works are for sale by all booksellers, or will be mailed by
the publishers, postage prepaid, on receipt of the price._
[Illustration]
DOCTOR. "WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN EATING LATELY?"
PATIENT. "WELL, YESTERDAY I ATE ABOUT THREE DOZEN NAILS, TWO TIN PLATES,
THREE CHAIR RUNGS, ONE-HALF A RAW POTATO--"
DOCTOR. "THAT'S IT; YOUR STOMACH IS TOO SENSITIVE TO STAND UNCOOKED
VEGETABLES."
THE LITTLE GARDENER.
"Why, Wilbur, what are you doing?" asked Wilbur's father, as he saw the
boy burying his little engine in the ground.
"I's plantin' this engine," said Wilbur. "I want a lot more of 'em, and
I's plantin' zis one so's we'll have an engine-tree."
A WISE CHOICE.
"I'd rather be a policeman than a burglar," said Jack. "Burglars have to
work nights."
"So do policemen," said Bob.
"Maybe," said Jack; "but they have uniforms and brass buttons, and
burglars haven't."
AN EXCUSE.
"Tommie, your spelling report is very bad," said Mr. Hicks to his boy.
"That's all right, papa," said Tommie. "When I grow up I'm going to
dictate all my letters, like you do. It's the type-writer that'll have
to know spelling, not me."
Whenever he felt two stitches in his side
The little old philosopher cried:
"I'm lucky, I think; don't you?
If one in time saves nine, as they say,
I'd have had eighteen of 'em some day
If it wasn't for these two!"
A BAD COMBINATION.
"Far as I can see," observed Jack, after his bicycle accident, "a
bicycle's just as skittish as a horse."
"It's worse," said Willie. "My bike not only threw me like a horse, but
turned back and gored me with the bar-handles like a bull."
A LITTLE TOMMIE QUESTION.
"Say, mamma," said little Tommie, looking up from his tin soldiers, "do
angels put their heads under their wings like turkeys when they go to
sleep?"
HIS MEMORY.
JOHNNY. "I can't remember the name of that little girl I met at
Newport."
PAPA. "You must improve your memory. That little girl had a very common
name. Now guess--what happens before meat?"
JOHNNY. "The sharpening of the knife."
OLLIE'S OPINION.
If the two "z's" in buzzard
Are because it buzzes, then
I think that in "mosquito"
There should be eight or ten.
MAMMA. "Bobby, which rule in school do you find the hardest?"
BOBBY. "The teacher's."
Little Ella, hearing her father speak of putting something aside for a
rainy day, broke out with the remark,
"Oh, papa! I've got an umbrella laid aside for that."
JACK. "I think my brother is an awful cross fellow."
MOTHER. "Don't you think you're a little to blame at times, Jack!"
JACK. "No; because he can't help it--it's the W in his name makes the
_ill Will_."
JIMMY'S FUTURE.
JIMMY. "When I grow up I'm going to be a school-teacher."
PAPA. "Why do you want to be a school-teacher?"
JIMMY. "'Cos you don't have to know the lessons yourself--you just have
to hear them out of a book."
"Ha! ha!" laughed the fish, as it glanced at the bait
That hung so temptingly by;
"By your silence I see you're intended to be
Rather too pointed to try."
THE GRASSHOPPER AND THE CIDER PIGGIN.
[Illustration]
A hoppergrass, one sunny day,
Turning hand-springs amid the hay,
O'erleaped himself, and fell into
A piggin of good apple brew.
"Shame on you, thirsty little one,"
Cried the haymakers in the sun;
The hopper took one draught, and then,
Ere he flew off, addressed the men:
"Good sirs," quoth he, "although one swallow
Does not make summer, it would follow
That several swallows were at fault
If you had made that summersault."
End of Project Gutenberg's Harper's Round Table, August 6, 1895, by Various