VAGRANT
“Sports like these
In sweet succession taught e’en toil to please.”
Goldsmith.
So we fought a hard fight for two months or more, and began to see our
way more clearly. It was then that I learned a lesson, which lasted me
through my official life and did me much good service: the advisability
of taking the public into one’s confidence. People like to know what
is going on; and, if there is to be disagreement, it is better to
have it early, when explanation will generally put matters right or
effect a compromise. At that time this was a hateful doctrine in the
eyes of Whitehall officials: they said it “led to correspondence.” My
experience is in the opposite direction: why should men write letters
if they know the facts? If official inference from the facts is
wrong, they ought to write. I lived to see the “free and open” policy
generally adopted, and commended by My Lords.
For this reason in our enquiry we[4] took the local magnates into
counsel. Choosing some place central for two or more parishes, we
invited the incumbent and the overseers to meet us. The incumbent
brought the landowners, and the overseers brought the chapel
dignitaries. From this collected wisdom we got all the information we
wanted, and sometimes good advice. Above all, we got confidence; for
those present saw and heard all the information that was given us: they
learned the requirements of the Act, and were told exactly how far
their district went towards satisfying the law. Confidence is a plant
that for special reasons grows slowly in that land; and occasionally
there were outbursts of fury; but, as we shall see later, the result
was that our recommendations were received with hardly a single murmur.
Through these meetings sometimes one made friendships which lasted for
years: less often one met men, whom, it was a consolation to think, one
would never meet again in this world, or (with good fortune) in any
other world. Sometimes in out of the way corners of the earth there
were odd incidents which abide in the memory and after all the long
interval blossom into mirth.
A dull June day, with cold rain hanging about: a mediæval gig, and
an indigenous driver, lineally descended from Caliban, and all but
monoglott. We meet an aged clergyman, and Caliban touches his hat.
“Who is that?” I ask, to make conversation.
“Well, they call him Menander.”
“Menander? What does that mean?”
“’Deed, I don’t know,” was the natural and national answer.
Menander--Greek poet--never read a word of him--must have been dead
2,000 years: perhaps he came to North Wales. Wasn’t there an Early
Father of that name? I think I confused him with Neander,[5] though
I could give no account of Neander then or now. But why? And who? A
parson; perhaps an officer of the Church. Thus I mused. Then I put it
to the driver: did he think it was the Welsh for a rural dean?
“Well, yes, I think,” said he, obviously having no idea what I meant.
On arriving at our meeting-place I told my chief that I had met
Menander, and that I had ascertained that he was so called in virtue
of the office of rural dean. He roared. I suppose the story is told of
me to this day in Ruridecanal chapters. The holy man was a bard, and
Menander was his bardic name; when he wrote poetry for an Eisteddfod,
he took that for a pen-name.
Another dull cold day in September. We had assembled at a spot
convenient for several parishes, and many local heads had been
summoned. But the district was not interested in schools, and only one
incumbent and two or three farmers met us on the top of a low hill
overlooking the affected area. We soon settled our business, and were
about to return, when the Major appeared. He was the squire, and his
interest in schools was not his ruling passion. We explained matters,
and it became apparent that the Major was not a total abstainer: he had
been shooting, and seemed to have found it thirsty work. The question
with him was, Would we come to lunch? We accepted with qualms. It was
most unfortunate, the Rector said, but he had another engagement, and
he fled.
We went to the Hall, and the Major joined us in some trifling alcoholic
refreshment as a stop-gap, for it was still early. We surveyed the
grounds, and enjoyed the Major’s conversation. It appeared that he was
a many-sided man. Ares, Dionysus, and Aphrodite were among his idols,
and (like Paris) he preferred the last-named to Athene. Eventually we
lunched, and to our alarm the Major began with champagne, and finished
up with port. I say advisedly “finished,” for during dessert, with a
hasty apology, he retired; and after an awkward interval the butler
appeared with a timid suggestion that we should go away, as “we had
sewn the Major up.” We stopped only to disclaim the plain sewing:
there were many stitches put in before we took the garment in hand. We
learned afterwards that the unfortunate man had received some injury to
the head in active service, and that his brain could stand no unusual
pressure. I never saw him again: the inevitable end came within twelve
months.
Another September day. The school-room where we met was rather full,
and I gathered that there was a special grievance. The parishioners
disclaimed any knowledge of English, and a brisk conversation in Welsh
followed, while I filled up forms. After some time I asked my colleague
what it was all about.
“Oh, the usual thing: the Conscience Clause, and the Catechism, and
they want a School Board.”
“Tell them the usual thing: must adopt the method prescribed by the
Act.”
But a more animated discussion ensued: what was the matter?
“They say the Rector lives in the school-house, and keeps his pig in
the girls’ playground.”
I turned on the Rector, who was listening with some alarm, and asked
him whether this were true. He admitted it. Where else was he to live?
There was no parsonage. A man must live somewhere.
“Je n’en vois pas la nécessité,” I quote to myself. “And the pig?”
Well, yes, sure; there was the pig there; but where else was he to put
it?
I was wroth, and told him emphatically that he might keep it in
the church for anything I cared. The monoglott meeting roared with
laughter. They had followed the conversation with some ease--for
monoglotts. I fully expected a formal complaint to the Office from the
aggrieved Rector. But he was too much frightened.
Another autumn visit brought me to the parish of Llandudwal. The Chapel
party were aggrieved, and unfolded their piteous tale. Weeks ago they
had brought over the Clerk to the Guardians, and had had a statutory
meeting, at which they had passed a resolution in favour of a School
Board, and had written to the Education Department: and yet there was
no Board ordered.
I explained that my functions were limited to enquiry: I had no
executive powers: they should “call him louder.” Then the story went
out of my front brain to that dark chamber at the back, where so much
lumber lies unsuspected. But in the course of the next year I happened
to be studying the Educational affairs of Llandudwal, and sent for the
file containing its annals. A flash of light lit up the lumber. There
are two Llandudwals; one in A. shire, the other in B. shire. Llandudwal
A, which I had visited, had voted for a Board, and the application was
filed with the papers of Llandudwal B. The latter had not asked for a
Board; but when they were informed that their prayer was granted, and
that they were to elect a Board on the 25th prox., they thanked Heaven
for a Liberal Government, and like
Obedient Yemen,
Answered Amen,
And did
As they were bid.
For twelve months they had lived, though not yet born, and had, no
doubt, levied a rate to pay for their illegal election.
Full of horror I broke it gently to a magnate at Whitehall. He laughed
consumedly, and said Wales was a strange country. A general Act of
1873 cured this and all other similar irregularities. But think of the
humour of it!
Time would fail me to tell of other journeys: bright May days with
the fresh green of the larch on the hillside, and the glories of the
chestnut and the wild flowers in the valleys. Hot June sunshine with
azalea, and honeysuckle, and rhododendron; and the cool sea-breeze at
night. July and August with the tripper in the land; crowded hotels,
and noisy table d’hôte dinners; the grass is brown, and the trees have
taken a uniform tint, and the rivers are low; except when torrential
rains have fallen for three days, and made the Swallow Falls to rival
Niagara. September comes, and the tripper ceases from tripping; the
trees begin to put on their own colours again, and their autumn robes
are magnificent: by the middle of October they are blazing in red and
yellow; and towards the end of the month there is often snow on the
hills, and below the snow the bracken is red.
Then came wild drives in Welsh cars--a sort of clumsy “governess-cart,”
now almost extinct--through rain and storm to remote villages in
Merioneth, and Denbighshire valleys; and then frost and snow; and all
travelling became a burden. Trains were very few on the Cambrian line
in winter. The hotels were empty, but how glad the proprietors were to
see any one! How amiable was the ever amiable landlady! Could I have
a sitting-room? Yes, sure, there was No. 1. And a car to-morrow? Yes,
indeed, to go anywhere. And Dobbin was reclaimed from the agricultural
operations to which he had been devoted since the fall of the tripper.
There was one journey from which I confess I shrank, and I regret it to
this day. Off the far west coast of the Carnarvonshire peninsula called
Lleyn, beyond the cape called Braich-y-Pwll, lies Bardsey Island. It
is approachable by sailing-boat, if wind and tide are favourable; the
distance from Aberdaron is about four miles, and one might choose one’s
day. But, I was warned, if anything went wrong with the wind, I might
be kept on the island for a week: Baedeker did not mark the principal
hotel with a star of approval. The population was about fifty-two;
there should be eight children of school age. There was a king; the
queen was dead. Say one king, no queen, eight knaves, the rest plain;
a strange pack. If I went there, and was detained for a week, I should
have to charge the Treasury something over £16 for wages, railways,
carriages, and boats; there would be reams of letters about it, and a
Radical M.P. might bring it up in the House. “Can’t you let it alone?”
said Lord Melbourne: so I did. But the next year I reported the facts
to Whitehall. Meanwhile the Vice President had ruled that if the number
of children anywhere, for whom no school accommodation was or could
conveniently be provided, were less than twenty it was negligible. And
it was agreed that the Bardsey King should take the trick, and the
Deuce might take the Eight. Q.E.F.
Even on dry land travelling was not always simple. One day a
kind-hearted Rector, hearing that my intended route was more than
usually difficult, offered to mount me and personally conduct me
next day. To my dismay he arrived after breakfast with a horse for
himself, and a Shetland pony for me. As I am, like Rosalind, “more
than common tall,” it was like riding a safety bicycle, the stirrups
taking the place of pedals for my feet. It was a wet morning, and the
road was very hilly; my mackintosh covered my steed, and nearly touched
the ground. The Rector rode behind me, convulsed with laughter, and
commenting on my appearance. But one must not look a gift Shetland pony
in the mouth. We were due at Tyn ddingwmbob at 10 A.M., and we
arrived at 12.15. The school which I was to inspect had adjourned to
dinner, and there was only a fat Vicar waving a large gold watch at me.
“Pray, sir, is this official punctuality?”
But I threw the blame on my guide, and when my steed had been surveyed,
and measured, the excuse was admitted: peace was made, and we lunched
at the Vicarage.
Everywhere hospitality was abundant. The clergy fed me on old port:
the dissenting ministers on their choicest butter-milk. The squires
offered me cigars: the elders an orthodox brand of Anglesey tobacco,
which would have soon repelled Suetonius, if the Druids had been in a
position to try it on him; and which was called “tobacco yr achos,” or
“tobacco of The Cause.”
Here I should not omit to say that the port wine was a serious question
to a moderate man. Especially in Anglesey there lurked danger in
the bowl. Some of the College incumbents had so far profited by a
University education as to have acquired a pretty taste in vintages.
One of these excellent men, having feasted me royally, after dinner
brought out a bottle of port that remembered Tract 90. We finished the
bottle: if I drank my share, and I feel sure I did my best, I must
have had five glasses. The Rector rose to ring for another bottle.
I implored him to have mercy: I had to get back to my hotel, and my
appointment was tenable only during good behaviour: what if I were
found in the gutter? The good man looked at me more in anger than in
sorrow: “Well,” he said, “you are the first man ever dined here that
didn’t like my port.”
The laity were not behindhand. Arriving at one village where I had
hoped to meet the usual incumbent and overseers, I found the squire
only. He told me that no one else was coming; and that I was to come
at once to the Hall to discuss the school supply, and to dine and
sleep. It was some one’s birthday and relations were there to honour
the occasion. The subsequent proceedings reminded me of Dean Ramsay’s
Scotch stories. We had much port; many bottles: and we wound up
with Family Prayers. I forget who read them: “it wasn’t me.” I only
remember the Squire throwing in ‘Amens’ far more frequently than had
been contemplated by the compiler. We all got safely to bed, and as
I was not offered the chance of smoking, and did not expect another
invitation to the Hall, I had a final pipe out of my bedroom window,
risking detection, as I feasted my eyes on the beauty of the June
night. Did my host glare at me in the morning, or was it my guilty
conscience? Tobacco was often glared at in those days.
With one possible exception all that festive party has passed away, and
the tale may be told.
These were oases in the desert of a life spent in hotels. And yet there
is much fun in the desert, when there are good fellow-travellers. In
those days at hotel dinners we sat at long tables, instead of the
“separate tables” now general in this country: and at dinner, or in
the smoking-room, one picked up many pleasant acquaintances. It was
not always hotels; sometimes it was inns, and the inns gave one more
insight into the life of the country. There after dinner we usually
adjourned to the bar-parlour as a smoking-room, where the local chief
citizens would assemble to discuss the affairs of their neighbours.
It was in such assemblies that I learned how little importance is
attached to a surname in Wales. We all know that hundreds of years
ago people in England acquired surnames by adding to their Christian
name the name of their house, or of their town, or of their trade,
or what not. Thus John of Chester became John Chester, and William
the Miller became William Miller, thereby being differentiated from
William Tailor. In Wales, the process was on other lines. John, son of
William, was William’s John, or John Williams. But the next generation
reverted: William, son of John Williams, became William Jones, because
he was John’s William. This may still be the custom in remote parts
of Wales. It was not extinct in West Carnarvonshire in 1871, where an
incumbent told me of the difficulty he had in explaining the method to
the Admiralty, or the Board of Trade, when his seafaring parishioners
got drowned. “If William Jones was the son of this John Williams, who
claims to be next of kin to the deceased, how is it that he was called
Jones, and not Williams? I am to request that a declaration may be
filed.”
I can imagine the annoyance of a Government Office at this departure
from the normal.
But as the possible Welsh surnames were limited to the derivatives
from possible Christian names, it followed that they ceased to be
sufficiently distinctive, and the local habitation, or the trade had to
be appended to the surname, as in England it was once appended to the
Christian name. I once asked a friend whether John Davies, whom we had
just left, was any relation to William Davies, whom we had seen a week
ago.
“None whatever,” he said; “what makes you ask?”
“Chiefly the name being the same.”
“Ah,” he replied, “I suppose in England you would draw that inference:
in Wales it would never occur to a man to do so.”
In a country inn you might hear, “Have you heard that John Jones,
Ty Gwyn, is dead? I met William Roberts, the Gas, and he told me.
John Jones’ daughter, you know, married the son of Evan Davies, the
Bank, that used to live at Tyn-y-mynydd, and they built a house at
Cwm-tir-Mynach, which used to belong to Mrs. Captain Roberts, Garth;
and William Roberts, the Gas, is her son.”
Then the company identified John Jones.
Once, when I was inspecting a Welsh school, being disturbed by the hum
of conversation, I called out to a ringleader, “John Jones, don’t make
such a noise.” The master looked up in surprise; pondered, and then
sidled up to me: how did I know that the boy’s name was John Jones?
I retorted that I didn’t know, but that it seemed likely. It turned out
that John Jones was the boy’s name, and that there were seventeen John
Jones’ on the list. I was firing into the brown.
In one part of the district there were seven clergymen bearing the
same name, incumbents of seven consecutive parishes. But each had an
agnomen, and no one ever confused Mr. Davies, Llanfihangel, with Dr.
Davies, Llanfairfechan, or either with John Davies, Llanfor, who wrote
indifferent poetry under the bardic name of Job.
In these inns we varied gossip with occasional gambling. Once to
oblige three hungry players I took a hand at whist. We played long
whist for penny points, and we counted “honours, spots, and corners.”
Honours were honours: spots, I think, meant the ace of spades; and I am
inclined to believe that corners denoted the “Jack of trumph” (knave of
trumps); but I plead the Statute of Limitations on behalf of my memory.
I know we played till closing time, and I won tenpence. An ardent
gambler with a slender purse and a weak heart might try North Wales.
At another such inn I gathered that gambling is a perilous pastime,
when you do not know your fellow gamblers. “There wass three young
men” said a sort of an Elder to me in the smoking-room, “that wass
very desirous to play cards, and they could not get an-ny one to
play with them: and, while they were waiting for some one, you know,
there ca-ame in a stranger that offered to play with them. And he
sat down”--here the Elder’s voice sank, and he glared at me like the
Ancient Mariner--“and it is truth that I am telling you, he won from
them every penny that they had in the world, and went awa-ay with the
money; and (_molto misterioso_) they say he wass the fery living spit
and image of----” (and he named a famous Baptist preacher).
“Was it Satan” (I asked) “in this unlikely garb? Why did he ‘make
up’ like that angel of sweetness and light? If it was the preacher
_revenant_, how did he acquire this skill in cards? Did he cheat, or
did he exhibit supernatural skill? What game was it? If whist, why did
not his partner score also? Think it was Nap, or Loo? Then why did they
insist on a fourth man?”
But the Elder knew no more about “the famous victory” than did old
Kaspar of Blenheim.
At another inn, where I called for such lunch as one can get in country
inns, I found a small party of villagers, and the arrival of a strange
Saxon produced a momentary silence. This was broken by the oldest
inhabitant, who seemed to be impressed by my length of limb. Evidently
he was the Mercury, or chief speaker:
“Fery high,” said he.
I admitted the charge.
“Yes, sure: going to rain, think you?”
I disclaimed special knowledge, but remarked that the glass was going
down.
“Ah, weather-glass?” said the old man, after an interval for mental
translation. “There wass an old man, John Jones, Llanfair, fery
old-fashioned man, had a weather-glass; and one time he wass wanting to
get in his hay, and the glass go up, up, up, and the rain come down,
down, down, and at last John get quite mad, and he ta-ake the glass and
go to the door, and hold it up to the rain, and he say, ‘There, now,
see for yourself.’”
I repaid him with laughter. I suppose the villagers knew that story
from their cradles, but they laughed a gentle welcome to an old friend.
Mercury was encouraged to further efforts. “Another time it came on
to rain worse than that time, and the river wass above the bank, and
wass carry off all the hay that wass lying about; and John Jones wass
trying to sa-ave it, but it wass all carried away, and he say, ‘TAD
ANWYL! (dear Father), take the rake and fork too,’ and he throw
them into the river. Fery old-fashioned man, John Jones, Llanfair.”
Alas! my train came in sight, and I had to run, leaving the tale of
John Jones, like Cambuscan’s, half told.
There might be Tales of my Landlords also, for in the late autumn one
saw much of them. It was my privilege to visit the School Board whereof
Harry Owen of Pen-y-gwryd, was a member; Owen, beloved of Charles
Kingsley, Tom Taylor, and Tom Hughes. Are not his praises written
in _Two Years Ago_? Strange to find a man out of a novel serving on
a School Board. At that time his visitors’ book still contained the
verses written by the three above-mentioned heroes, which may be found
on page 495, vol. i., of _C. Kingsley’s Life_. Owen was warned to cut
out the page, and frame it, as had been done with Dean Buckland’s
geological note in the Beddgelert book; and he promised to do so;
but at my next visit it was gone. Some one, said, on I know not what
authority, to be an American, had cut out the page, and carried it off.
Another landlord’s memory I cherish, though I conceal his name, because
he told me a precious anecdote:--
“I took a few friends in a landau over the pass last week, and on the
way we came to Mr. William Hughes, Rector of Llansgriw; you know Mr.
Hughes? and I told my friends we would go in there for a minute, just
to get a rise out of the old fellow: so in we went. ‘Morning, Mr.
Hughes,’ I said, ‘just driving round; thought we would give you a call,
and ask how you were.’
“‘Very glad to see you, Mr. Jones, and your friends, too, I am sure.
Will you take a glass of sherry this cold morning?’
“Of course we said we would, and he went off to the cellar, and came
back with a bottle, and filled our glasses. I took one mouthful of it,
and said:--
“‘_I see you’ve taken the pickles out, Mr. Hughes._’”
One more word. How did I get on without knowing the language? I have
often been asked the question. In the official enquiries I had, as I
have said, the good fellowship and support of Mr. E. Roberts, late
H.M.I. in the Carnarvon district, who saved me from many perils then,
and now has added to my debt of gratitude by correcting the fragments
of Welsh quoted in these pages. In travelling it was very seldom that
I was inconvenienced, though I often got no reply to my questions but
“Dim Saesneg” (no English). And that never failed to bring to mind the
simple-hearted Balliol don, whose lament over the rude profanity of the
Welsh peasants it was the delight of his pupils to extract by judicious
questioning:
“When I was in Wales I regret to say that I was _not_ favourably
impressed by the manners of the people. If at any time in the course
of a walk I applied to any one for information, I always received the
reply ‘Sassenach,’ which, I believe, means ‘Englishman,’ coupled with
an expression that I should be very sorry to repeat.”
FOOTNOTES:
[4] Here and throughout this chronicle “we” stands for the Inspecting
Staff.
[5] I have since ascertained that Neander was not an Early Father, but
a German theologian.