_Enthusiastic Cyclist loquitur_:--
I have noticed with unfeigned and real pleasure,
The rapid growth of Cycling. (_How it jumps!_)
To those who have the energy and leisure
It affords--(_Confound this saddle! it so bumps!_)
What otherwise would be quite unattainable,
A healthy, and a pleasurable form
Of exercise. (_Yes, health is hereby gainable;_
_But I am most uncomfortably warm!_)
It gives them the advantages of travel,
(_By Jingo! I was nearly over then!_
_A tumble and the "gravel-rash" would gravel_
_The nimblest of extremely Grand Old Men_)
Which, previous to the Cycle's happy advent,
Were out of almost everybody's reach.
(_And to the "spirits" of the cycling-cad vent._
_'Arry on Wheels the law must manners teach._)
It's really very much more profitable
Than is the long luxurious rail way journey.
(_If in the saddle I feel not more stable,_
_I'll be "unhorsed," like tilter in a tourney!_)
Monotonous the journey from the City,
Along a fixed unalterable route.
(_This is an old "bone-shaker." 'Tis a pity!_
_For over the front wheel one's apt to shoot._)
The traveller's whirled from station unto station,
(_I wish there were more stations on this road_,)
With hardly half a chance for observation.
(_If I know where I am, may I be blowed!_),
Without an opportunity to examine
The district. (_Wish that I could spot a pub!_
_For I am overdone with thirst and famine,_
_And see no chance of tipple or of grub!_)
(_I must travel many miles o'er clay or cobble,_
_I fear, before I'll have a real rest,_
_The big wheel and the little shift and wobble,_
_I think the low pneumatic Cycle's best._
_Eh? "Dangerous to Cyclists!" That's a notice,_
_I fancy, that suggests a spin down-hill._
_How stiff I feel! How very parched my throat is!_
_Hold up! By Jove, but that was near a spill!_)
I emphasise the fact that I consider
That, physically--(_Pheugh! that little wheel_
_Is dangerous as poor old WELLER's "widder_,")
Yes, morally, and socially, I feel
The benefits of Cycling are unbounded,
Almost--(_Almost I fear a nasty fall!_
_I wish, with big and little wheel confounded,_
_That I were on a Safety, after all!_)
* * * * *
WHISPER BY _AN ILL_ WIND.--If Alderman KNILL cannot conscientiously
attend the Established Church service, whereat it is not essential for
a Lord Mayor to be present, the Court of Aldermen ought to be proud
of him, and elect him "Willy-Knilly" to be Lord Mayor all the same.
Whatever may be the result, of Alderman KNILL nothing but good can be
said. "_Nil nisi bonum._"
* * * * *
BLACK GAME.--"Bother Morocco!" says a Sportsman. "What's the news from
the Moors?"
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