A dog having got upon the scent of a deer which a hunter had been
dragging home, set off with extraordinary zeal. After measuring off a
few leagues, he paused.
"My running gear is all right," said he; "but I seem to have lost my
voice."
Suddenly his ear was assailed by a succession of eager barks, as of
another dog in pursuit of him. It then began to dawn upon him that he
was a particularly rapid dog: instead of having lost his voice, his
voice had lost him, and was just now arriving. Full of his discovery,
he sought his master, and struck for better food and more comfortable
housing.
"Why, you miserable example of perverted powers!" said his master; "I
never intended you for the chase, but for the road. You are to be a
draught-dog--to pull baby about in a cart. You will perceive that
speed is an objection. Sir, you must be toned down; you will be at
once assigned to a house with modern conveniences, and will dine at a
French restaurant. If that system do not reduce your own, I'm an
'Ebrew Jew!"
The journals next morning had racy and appetizing accounts of a canine
suicide.