Patrick Finnegan had been studying socialism and told his friend, Barney
O'Brien, that socialism was a good thing, both charitable and Christian,
and if the people would adopt it all would be prosperous and happy. Barney
says, "Pat, if ye had two homes, would ye give me one?" "To be sure I
would," says Pat. "Then if ye had two horses, would ye give me one?" "Then
certainly I would," says Pat. "Then if ye had two hogs would ye give me
one?" "No. To hell with ye, Barney; ye know I've got thim." "Well, that
was what I was thinking, that ye would hold to your pigs with all the
tenacity that a Vanderbilt would grip his railroads. It is aisy enough to
give away what ye ain't got; but if ye can't practice what ye preach ye
had as well shut up." "Now that's just like ye, Barney; ye would never
make a good socialist. Ye would rob me entirely. You know I need me hogs;
but I would not need but one home, and one horse would be all I could work
and feed." "Yes, Pat, and I guess if ye wait until ye get a home and a
horse you'll be a socialist a good while yet." "To be sure I will, and if
you ever have a home at all it will be when I have one to give you."
Barney: "Then I guess I had better hold my job and not depend on ye." Pat:
"Along with ye, Barney; it may be well that ye can always find a boss."