AMMUNITION.
Too much care cannot be exercised in the selection of this article. You
must take care that it is adapted to the game. If the bird be an
unbleached _blonde_, try first-class prayer-meetings, mild decoctions of
Sunday-school exhibitions, parlor concerts, and readings. If it wear
spectacles, some light, airy, and poetical reading matter, like BUTLER'S
_Analogy_, or the _Tribune_, is useful. If the bird be a _brunette_, try
theatres, balls, operas, etc.; suppers at DEL.'S have been known to do
execution among this class. Never try lectures to young women with this
kind of bird. The bleached _blondes_ are difficult to handle. If you
suspect the bleaching, try a judicious mixture of both kinds of
ammunition.
Some kinds of ammunition are adapted to all classes. Rings, especially
diamonds, fans, bouquets, and jewels can be used in quantities only
limited by the amount of your bank account, or of your employer's petty
cash. I have seen a bracelet do the business at once, though, to be
sure, it was a very gorgeous one. Serenades may be used to advantage,
but care must be taken in selecting the songs and the windows. To a
_blonde_ you may very well sing, "Thy eyes so blue, of violet hue;" to a
_brunette_, "Black-eyed Mary" or Susan; to a bleached _blonde_, "I am
dying, Egypt, dying." Never sing vulgar songs, which are used by hungry
lovers of cooks, such as, "Wilt thou meat me to-night by the old garden
gate," or, "Meat me by moonlight alone."