The character of Mr. Lavement, his wife and daughter—some anecdotes of
the family—the mother and daughter rivals—I am guilty of a mistake that
gives me present satisfaction, but is attended with troublesome
consequences
Next day, while I was at work in the shop, a bouncing damsel well
dressed came on pretence of finding a vial for some use or other; and
taking an opportunity, when she thought I did not mind her, of
observing me narrowly, went away with a silent look of disdain. I
easily guessed her sentiments, and my pride took the resolution of
entertaining the same indifference and neglect towards her. At dinner
the maids, with whom I dined in the kitchen, gave me to understand that
this was my master’s only daughter, who would have a very handsome
fortune, on account of which, and her beauty, a great many young
gentlemen made their addresses to her—that she had been twice on the
brink of marriage, but disappointed by the stinginess of her father,
who refused to part with a shilling to promote the match; for which
reason the young lady did not behave to her father with all the filial
veneration that might be expected. In particular she harboured the most
perfect hatred for his countrymen; in which disposition she resembled
her mother, who was an English-woman; and, by the hints they dropped, I
learned the gray mare was the better horse—that she was a matron of a
high spirit, which was often manifested at the expense of her
dependents; that she loved diversions, and looked upon miss as her
rival in all parties—which was indeed the true cause of her
disappointments; for had the mother been hearty in her interest, the
father would not have ventured to refuse her demands. Over and above
this intelligence, I, of myself, soon made more discoveries. Mr.
Lavement’s significant grins at his wife, while she looked another way,
convinced me that he was not at all content with his lot; and his
behaviour in presence of the captain made me believe his chief torment
was jealousy. As for my own part, I was considered in no other light
than that of a menial servant, and had been already six days in the
house without being honoured with one word from either mother or
daughter; the latter (as I understood from the maids) having at table
one day expressed some surprise that her papa should entertain such an
awkward mean-looking journeyman. I was nettled at this piece of
information, and next Sunday (it being my turn to take my diversion)
dressed myself in my new clothes to the greatest advantage, and, vanity
apart, made no contemptible figure.
After having spent most part of the day in company with Strap and some
of his acquaintance, I came home in the afternoon, and was let in by
miss, who not knowing me, dropped a low curtsey as I advanced, which I
returned with a profound bow, and shut the door. By the time I had
turned about, she had perceived her mistake, and changed colour, but
did not withdraw. The passage being narrow, I could not get away
without jolting her; so I was forced to remain where I was with my eyes
fixed to the ground, and my face glowing with blushes. At length, her
vanity coming to her assistance, she went away tittering, and I could
hear her pronounce the word ‘creature!’ From this day forward, she came
into the shop fifty times, every day upon various pretences, and put in
practice so many ridiculous airs, that I could easily perceive her
opinion of me was changed, and that she did not think me altogether an
unworthy conquest. But my heart was so steeled against her charms by
pride and resentment, which were two chief ingredients in my
disposition, that I remained insensible to all her arts; and
notwithstanding some advances she made, could not be prevailed upon to
yield her the least attention. This neglect soon banished all the
favourable impressions she felt for me, and the rage of a slighted
woman took place in her heart; this she manifested not only in all the
suggestions her malice could invent to my prejudice with her father,
but also in procuring for me such servile employments as she hoped
would sufficiently humble my spirit. One day in particular, she ordered
me to brush my master’s coat; but I refusing, a smart dialogue ensued,
which ended in her bursting into tears of rage; when her mother
interposing, and examining into the merits of the cause, determined it
in my favour: and this good office I owed not to any esteem or
consideration she had for me, but solely to the desire of mortifying
her daughter, who on this occasion observed, that let people be never
so much in the right, there were some folks who would never do them
justice, but, to be sure, they had their reasons for it, which some
people were ignorant of, although they despised their little arts. This
insinuation of some people and some folks put me upon observing the
behaviour of my mistress more narrowly for the future: and it was not
long before I had reason to believe that she looked upon her daughter
as a rival in the affections of Captain O’Donnell, who lodged in the
house.
In the meantime, my industry and knowledge gained me the goodwill of my
master, who would often say in French, “Mardy! c’est un bon garçon.” He
had a great deal of business; but he was mostly employed among his
fellow refugees, his profits were small. However, his expense for
medicines was not great; for he was the most expert man at a
succedaneum of any apothecary in London, so that I have been sometimes
amazed to see him, without the least hesitation, make up a physician’s
prescription, though he had not in his shop one medicine mentioned in
it. Oyster-shells he could convert into crab’s eyes; common oil into
oil of sweet almonds; syrup of sugar into balsamic syrup; Thames water
into aqua cinnamoni; and a hundred more costly preparations were
produced in an instant, from the cheapest and coarsest drugs of the
materia medica: and when any common thing was ordered for a patient, he
always took care to disguise it in colour or taste, or both, in such a
manner that it could not possibly be known; for which purpose cochineal
and oil of cloves were of great service. Mr. Lavement had attempted
more than once to introduce a vegetable diet into his family, by
launching out into the praise of roots and greens, and decrying the use
of flesh, both as a physician and philosopher; but all his rhetoric
could not make one proselyte to his opinion, and even the wife of his
bosom declared against the proposal.
One afternoon, when her husband was abroad, and his daughter gone to
visit, this lady ordered me to call a hackney-coach, in which she and
the captain drove towards Covent Garden. Miss came home in the evening,
and, supping at her usual hour, went to bed. About eleven o’clock my
master entered, and asked if his wife was gone to sleep: upon which I
told him, my mistress went out in the afternoon, and was not yet
returned. This was like a clap of thunder to the poor apothecary, who
starting back, cried, “Mort de ma vie! vat you tell a me? My vife not
at home!” At that instant a patient’s servant arrived with a
prescription for a draught, which my master taking, went into the shop
to make it up with his own hand. While he rubbed the ingredients in a
glass mortar, he inquired of me, whether or no his wife went out alone;
and no sooner heard that she was in company with the captain, than with
one blow he split the mortar into a thousand pieces, and grinning like
the head of a bass viol, exclaimed, “Ah, traitresse!” It would have
been impossible for me to have preserved my gravity a minute longer,
when I was happily relieved by a rap at the door, which I opened, and
perceived my mistress coming out of the coach. She flounced immediately
into the shop, and addressed her husband thus: “I suppose you thought I
was lost, my dear. Captain O’Donnell has been so good as to treat me
with a play.” The reply, it may be supposed, was anything but courteous
but the captain, who had been all the time at the door discharging the
coach, entered, and Mr. Lavement, changing his tone, saluted him with
all the usual politesse of a Frenchman.
Shortly after this event, by the knowledge which I acquired of the
family secrets, my life became much more agreeable; and as I every day
improved in my knowledge of the town I shook off my awkward air by
degrees, and acquired the character of a polite journeyman apothecary.