"As you prefer." My desk has a few concealed features which are
sometimes useful in dealing with belligerent or disappointed
life-forms. My fingers roamed to the meshgun trigger, just in case of
trouble.
The Kallerian stood motionless before me. They're hairy creatures, and
this one had a coarse, thick mat of blue fur completely covering his
body. Two fierce eyes glimmered out through the otherwise dense blanket
of fur. He was wearing the kilt, girdle and ceremonial blaster of his
warlike race.
I said, "You'll have to understand, Freeman Heraal, that it's not our
policy to maintain more than a few members of each species at our
Institute. And we're not currently in need of any Kallerian males,
because--"
"You will hire me or trouble I will make!"
I opened our inventory chart. I showed him that we were already
carrying four Kallerians, and that was more than plenty.
The beady little eyes flashed like beacons in the fur. "Yes, you have
four representatives--of the Clan Verdrokh! None of the Clan Gursdrinn!
For three years, I have waited for a chance to avenge this insult to
the noble Clan Gursdrinn!"
At the key-word _avenge_, I readied myself to ensnarl the Kallerian
in a spume of tanglemesh the instant he went for his blaster, but he
didn't move. He bellowed, "I have vowed a vow, Earthman. Take me to
Earth, enroll a Gursdrinn, or the consequences will be terrible!"
* * * * *
I'm a man of principles, like all straightforward double-dealers, and
one of the most important of those principles is that I never let
myself be bullied by anyone. "I deeply regret having unintentionally
insulted your clan, Freeman Heraal. Will you accept my apologies?"
He glared at me in silence.
I went on, "Please be assured that I'll undo the insult at the earliest
possible opportunity. It's not feasible for us to hire another
Kallerian now, but I'll give preference to the Clan Gursdrinn as soon
as a vacancy--"
"No. You will hire me now."
"It can't be done, Freeman Heraal. We have a budget, and we stick to
it."
"You will rue! I will take drastic measures!"
"Threats will get you nowhere, Freeman Heraal. I give you my word I'll
get in touch with you as soon as our organization has room for another
Kallerian. And now, please, there are many applicants waiting--"
You'd think it would be sort of humiliating to become a specimen in a
zoo, but most of these races take it as an honor. And there's always
the chance that, by picking a given member of a race, we're insulting
all the others.
I nudged the trouble-button on the side of my desk and Auchinleck and
Ludlow appeared simultaneously from the two doors at right and left.
They surrounded the towering Kallerian and sweet-talkingly led him
away. He wasn't minded to quarrel physically, or he could have knocked
them both into the next city with a backhand swipe of his shaggy paw,
but he kept up a growling flow of invective and threats until he was
out in the hall.
I mopped sweat from my forehead and began to buzz Stebbins for the next
applicant. But before my finger touched the button, the door popped
open and a small being came scooting in, followed by an angry Stebbins.
"Come here, you!"
"Stebbins?" I said gently.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Corrigan. I lost sight of this one for a moment, and he
came running in--"
"Please, please," squeaked the little alien pitifully. "I must see you,
honored sir!"
"It isn't his turn in line," Stebbins protested. "There are at least
fifty ahead of him."
"All right," I said tiredly. "As long as he's in here already, I might
as well see him. Be more careful next time, Stebbins."
Stebbins nodded dolefully and backed out.
* * * * *
The alien was a pathetic sight: a Stortulian, a squirrely-looking
creature about three feet high. His fur, which should have been a
lustrous black, was a dull gray, and his eyes were wet and sad. His
tail drooped. His voice was little more than a faint whimper, even at
full volume.
"Begging your most honored pardon most humbly, important sir. I am a
being of Stortul XII, having sold my last few possessions to travel
to Ghryne for the miserable purpose of obtaining an interview with
yourself."
I said, "I'd better tell you right at the outset that we're already
carrying our full complement of Stortulians. We have both a male and a
female now and--"
"This is known to me. The female--is her name perchance Tiress?"
I glanced down at the inventory chart until I found the Stortulian
entry. "Yes, that's her name."
The little being immediately emitted a soul-shaking gasp. "It is she!
It is she!"
"I'm afraid we don't have room for any more--"
"You are not in full understanding of my plight. The female Tiress,
she is--was--my own Fire-sent spouse, my comfort and my warmth, my life
and my love."
"Funny," I said. "When we signed her three years ago, she said she was
single. It's right here on the chart."
"She lied! She left my burrow because she longed to see the splendors
of Earth. And I am alone, bound by our sacred customs never to remarry,
languishing in sadness and pining for her return. You _must_ take me to
Earth!"
"But--"
"I must see her--her and this disgrace-bringing lover of hers. I must
reason with her. Earthman, can't you see I must appeal to her inner
flame? _I must bring her back!_"
My face was expressionless. "You don't really intend to join our
organization at all--you just want free passage to Earth?"
"Yes, yes!" wailed the Stortulian. "Find some other member of my race,
if you must! Let me have my wife again, Earthman! Is your heart a dead
lump of stone?"
* * * * *
It isn't, but another of my principles is to refuse to be swayed by
sentiment. I felt sorry for this being's domestic troubles, but I
wasn't going to break up a good act just to make an alien squirrel
happy--not to mention footing the transportation.
I said, "I don't see how we can manage it. The laws are very strict
on the subject of bringing alien life to Earth. It has to be for
scientific purposes only. And if I know in advance that your purpose in
coming isn't scientific, I can't in all conscience _lie_ for you, can
I?"
"Well--"
"Of course not." I took advantage of his pathetic upset to steam right
along. "Now if you had come in here and simply asked me to sign you up,
I might conceivably have done it. But no--you had to go unburden your
heart to me."
"I thought the truth would move you."
"It did. But in effect you're now asking me to conspire in a fraudulent
criminal act. Friend, I can't do it. My reputation means too much to
me," I said piously.
"Then you will refuse me?"
"My heart melts to nothingness for you. But I can't take you to Earth."
"Perhaps you will send my wife to me here?"
There's a clause in every contract that allows me to jettison an
unwanted specimen. All I have to do is declare it no longer of
scientific interest, and the World Government will deport the
undesirable alien back to its home world. But I wouldn't pull a low
trick like that on our female Stortulian.
I said, "I'll ask her about coming home. But I won't ship her back
against her will. And maybe she's happier where she is."
The Stortulian seemed to shrivel. His eyelids closed half-way to mask
his tears. He turned and shambled slowly to the door, walking like a
living dishrag. In a bleak voice, he said, "There is no hope then. All
is lost. I will never see my soulmate again. Good day, Earthman."
He spoke in a drab monotone that almost, but not quite, had me weeping.
I watched him shuffle out. I do have _some_ conscience, and I had the
uneasy feeling I had just been talking to a being who was about to
commit suicide on my account.
* * * * *
About fifty more applicants were processed without a hitch. Then life
started to get complicated again.
Nine of the fifty were okay. The rest were unacceptable for one reason
or another, and they took the bad news quietly enough. The haul for the
day so far was close to two dozen new life-forms under contract.
I had just about begun to forget about the incidents of the Kallerian's
outraged pride and the Stortulian's flighty wife when the door opened
and the Earthman who called himself Ildwar Gorb of Wazzenazz XIII
stepped in.
"How did _you_ get in here?" I demanded.
"Your man happened to be looking the wrong way," he said cheerily.
"Change your mind about me yet?"
"Get out before I have you thrown out."
Gorb shrugged. "I figured you hadn't changed your mind, so I've changed
my pitch a bit. If you won't believe I'm from Wazzenazz XIII, suppose I
tell you that I _am_ Earthborn, and that I'm looking for a job on your
staff."
"I don't care _what_ your story is! Get out or--"
"--you'll have me thrown out. Okay, okay. Just give me half a second.
Corrigan, you're no fool, and neither am I--but that fellow of yours
outside _is_. He doesn't know how to handle alien beings. How many
times today has a life-form come in here unexpectedly?"