[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Galaxy Magazine November 1958.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
Getting specimens for the interstellar zoo
was no problem--they battled for the honor--but
now I had to fight like a wildcat to keep
a display from making a monkey of me!
It was our first day of recruiting on the planet, and the alien
life-forms had lined up for hundreds of feet back from my rented
office. As I came down the block from the hotel, I could hear and see
and smell them with ease.
My three staff men, Auchinleck, Stebbins and Ludlow, walked shieldwise
in front of me. I peered between them to size the crop up. The aliens
came in every shape and form, in all colors and textures--and all of
them eager for a Corrigan contract. The Galaxy is full of bizarre
beings, but there's barely a species anywhere that can resist the old
exhibitionist urge.
"Send them in one at a time," I told Stebbins. I ducked into the
office, took my place back of the desk and waited for the procession to
begin.
The name of the planet was MacTavish IV (if you went by the official
Terran listing) or Ghryne (if you called it by what its people were
accustomed to calling it). I thought of it privately as MacTavish IV
and referred to it publicly as Ghryne. I believe in keeping the locals
happy wherever I go.
Through the front window of the office, I could see our big gay tridim
sign plastered to a facing wall: WANTED--EXTRATERRESTRIALS! We had
saturated MacTavish IV with our promotional poop for a month preceding
arrival. Stuff like this:
Want to visit Earth--see the Galaxy's most glittering and exclusive
world? Want to draw good pay, work short hours, experience the
thrills of show business on romantic Terra? If you are a
non-terrestrial, there may be a place for you in the Corrigan
Institute of Morphological Science. No freaks wanted--normal beings
only. J. F. Corrigan will hold interviews in person on Ghryne from
Thirdday to Fifthday of Tenmonth. His last visit to the Caledonia
Cluster until 2937, so don't miss your chance! Hurry! A life of
wonder and riches can be yours!
* * * * *
Broadsides like that, distributed wholesale in half a thousand
languages, always bring them running. And the Corrigan Institute really
packs in the crowds back on Earth. Why not? It's the best of its kind,
the only really decent place where Earthmen can get a gander at the
other species of the universe.
The office buzzer sounded. Auchinleck said unctuously, "The first
applicant is ready to see you, sir."
"Send him, her or it in."
The door opened and a timid-looking life-form advanced toward me on
nervous little legs. He was a globular creature about the size of a
big basketball, yellowish-green, with two spindly double-kneed legs and
five double-elbowed arms, the latter spaced regularly around his body.
There was a lidless eye at the top of his head and five lidded ones,
one above each arm. Plus a big, gaping, toothless mouth.