"Kidnaping?"
"Possibly."
"You're a strange creature, Smith. And, speaking of strange creatures,
who the devil is that Princess Pudelstoff? She talks English like an
east-side Jewess."
"She is."
"W-what!!!"
"Certainly."
"The Princess Pudelstoff!"
"Her name was Leah Puppsky. She's the sister of Leo Puppsky, the
Bolshevik envoy sent here with his confrere Isidore Wildkatz by Trotzky
and Lenine to confer with Tino and Ferdie. She was once pretty--and she
acted in an east-side theatre with Nazimova. Prince Pudelstoff was an
attache of the Russian Embassy at the time. He saw her act, fell in
love, and married her,--of course with the Czar's knowledge and consent.
But why the Czar let him do it is one of those diplomatic mysteries
which remain unfathomed. Some believe that Rasputin had a reason for
approving such an alliance." He shrugged.
"What a strange, fat, vulgar, good-natured woman," said I. "And what a
grotesque company! Can you beat it?--Bulgar and Bolsheviki, King, Queen,
Countess, Baron, Admiral, all jumbled up in this little rest-house where
I am trying to live in peace and privacy. And now comes an act of God
called an avalanche!--and we're all trapped together--you and I, Thusis
and Clelia, and this beastly Bulgarian with his beak of a bird of prey;
and that vulgar Greek King and his vixen of a wife,--Oh, Lord!"
"I'm glad God acted," he said cheerfully.
"You're glad that avalanche fell?"
"Yes; I'm very much relieved."
"Why, in the name of Heaven?"
"It simplifies my duties," he said, smiling. And that's all I got out
of him except that he advised me to have nothing to do with this
enterprise of Thusis and her sister.
"They'll only get you into mischief," he said. "It's a perfectly crazy
scheme. Anyway I think it's nipped in the bud, now."
"If the avalanche hadn't fallen----"
"That makes a difference. But it couldn't have been done anyway. So
you'd better not encourage Thusis by enlisting with her as a recruit,
Michael. Avalanche or no avalanche it can't be done."
"Smith," said I, "if Thusis needs me I am going to help her bag this
brace of kings."
"You are?"
"I am."
"You'll lose your property."
"I can't help that."
Smith glanced up at me curiously: "You are in love, Michael.
"I think I am."
"Don't be."
"What!"
"Don't be in love," he repeated gently. "It isn't any use. It's no
good, Michael."
What he said annoyed me and he perceived it.
"Oh Lord," he said wearily, "this is a mess all around. You don't know
what a mess it is, Michael. But all I can tell you is, _don't fall in
love with Thusis_! Because it won't do you any good."
"What do you mean? Do you know who Thusis really is?"
"No, I don't. But I do know that it will do you no good to fall in love
with her."
"Has it done _you_ any good to fall in love with her sister Clelia?" I
retorted sharply.
"Not a particle."
"Then why have you done it?"
He winced but said pleasantly: "I fell in love with her before I
realized it. Now I'm falling out of love with her. I'm curing
myself.... Besides, she cares nothing about me.... It will be easier
for me to cure myself than for you to recover if you fall in love."
"Thusis will not listen to a serious word from me," said I with sudden
bitterness. "I ought to try to cure myself _now_! ... But I don't want
to."
"Michael," he said, "the pretty Thusis, also, had better be very
careful, because she already is as close to caring for you seriously as
it is safe for any young girl to care for a man whom she knows she never
is going to marry."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because, although I do not know who Thusis really is, I do know that
she is not going to marry you. And I do not believe you will ever see
Thusis again after this herd of conspirators leaves Swiss soil."
I thought very hard for a while. Then: "Smith, I have become firmly
convinced that Thusis is the original of _The Laughing Girl_! Find out
who she was and you will learn who Thusis is. I'm certain of this. Now
who was this Laughing Girl?"
"Nobody knows."
"Have you tried to find out?"
"Yes."
"Did you learn anything at all?"
"Not much."
"What did you learn?"
"That the photographs of The Laughing Girl are not permitted to be sold
in Italy."
I looked at him, perplexed. He shrugged his shoulders: "Photographs for
sale in European cities," he said, "are usually portraits of
celebrities--actresses, demi-mondaines, royalties. Do you suppose
Thusis to be one of these?"
"Good heavens!"
"One of the three alternatives is, of course, unthinkable. Your choice
would seem to lie, then, between royalty and the drama. _But_--the
photographs of the Italian Royal family are sold everywhere in Italy.
So are photographs of pretty actresses. Why is the sale of The Laughing
Girl forbidden in Italy?"
"_Forbidden_? You didn't say that."
"Forbidden," he repeated calmly.
"That's very strange," said I. "What does it signify, Smith?"
"Well, of course, I have my own theory as to that."
"You don't care to discuss it?"
He shook his head.
"No, Michael. But it seems to fit in with my general idea concerning
the identity of Thusis."
"And do you, too, believe that Thusis is the original of The Laughing
Girl?" I asked.
"I have come to believe so."
"Then," said I, "I shall marry her! I've been in love with that
photograph ever since I laid eyes on it, and now, when I've found the
original, do you suppose I shall let it go at that? You don't know the
O'Ryans!"
He began to laugh, but my excitement was rising.
"I'm going to make love to her," said I. "I'm going to help her bag
these kings if she wants them. And when we tie them neck and heels and
smuggle them into France and turn them over to a pair of strapping
gendarmes I shall enlist with the American forces in France, whether
Thusis accepts me for her husband or not. That, Smith, is my
unalterable decision and my inflexible programme! And my property in
Switzerland can go to the devil!"
"There are," said Smith with a peculiar smile, "two reasons why you
should not remain in love with Thusis. One is that she won't marry
you."
"What's the other?"
"The other is that she couldn't marry you if she wished to."
There was a short silence, then he went on: "Also there are two reasons
why you should not help Thusis to kidnap Tino and Ferdie. One is that
she isn't able to."
"What's the other?"
"The other is that--_I won't let her_."