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"Laughter is produced by joy mixed with surprise, the eyebrows rise
towards the middle of the eye, and bend down towards the side of the
nose. The eyes are almost shut, and sometimes appear wet, or shed
tears, which make no alteration in the face. The mouth, half open, shews
the teeth; the corners of the mouth drawn back, cause a wrinkle in the
cheeks, which appear so swelled as in some measure to hide the eyes; the
nostrils are open, and all the face is of a red colour. Laughter is at
all times ungraceful, therefore you will observe, that vulgar people are
most addicted to it: well-bred persons manage this passion better; they
seldom do any thing more than smile. Yet at times, it will happen that
something we meet with is so truly ridiculous or comical, that we cannot
by any means help laughing. There are, however, some persons who are so
much of idiots, that they will laugh at the most trifling thing in the
world; of this description were
_The Family of the Gobblegruels._
"Lord Gobblegruel, who was very rich, had arrived at that title purely
by having done some service to the government as a contractor. His
lordship had but very few ideas beyond a common sum in arithmetic. My
lady Gobblegruel was just as ignorant, only much more proud and
affected, though, to tell the honest truth, she was originally his
lordship's father's cook.
"There was a numerous family of them. There was his lordship, the right
honourable lady Gobblegruel, the honourable Master Thomas Gobblegruel,
and the honourable Miss Boadicea Gobblegruel.
You will wonder, my dear children, that there should be such characters
as these among persons of rank; and the truth is, that, generally
speaking, in this country, persons of rank are persons of education, of
good sense, and of elegant and refined manners; yet here and there, up
starts a peer without politeness, and a baron without brains.
"To proceed then--the honourable master Gobblegruel was what some coarse
people would have called a _natural_; at any rate, he most certainly was
a _natural curiosity_. Master Gobblegruel's whole pleasure and
employment was driving pigs: and to be sure, no salesman in Smithfield
market understood pigs better; he could tell you whether a pig with a
curly tail was better than a pig who had not a curly tail, or than one
that had no tail at all; but what was a more excellent accomplishment in
our little master was, that he could squeak as naturally as that animal;
and which species of entertainment being according to the taste of the
family, he was often called upon by the right honourable lady
Gobblegruel to perform for the amusement of the right honourable lord
Gobblegruel in the drawing room. (Henry could scarcely refrain from
laughing).
"Master Gobblegruel was not only one of the greatest idiots, but also
one of the greatest gluttons in the world; he was formed very much like
a pig himself--I mean one that was well fattened; for he was nearly as
thick as he was long; his cheeks were so plump and round, that they
almost hid his eyes, which were very small; but master Gobblegruel had
another extraordinary accomplishment--he could perform Punch to the
life, which he used to do in the housekeeper's room, to great audiences
of the servants, and with prodigious applause. It was really very
amusing to see the son of a nobleman with a short stick in his hand,
knocking, as he pretended, his wife Joan on the head, squeaking _toote_,
_toote_, _toote_, and nodding and winking exactly like his famed
original.--(Henry could not resist _Laughter_ any longer).
"The honourable master Gobblegruel was so ungraceful at table, that he
disgusted every body; you might see him take up the bone of a fowl,
which he would gnaw and suck with so much avidity, that the grease
would run down the sides of his mouth, into which he would also
constantly put his knife instead of his fork; and when he drank, you
might see the greater part of his face through the glass.
"One day in particular, master Gobblegruel made a more than commonly
ridiculous figure; he had got the end of a drumstick of a fowl in his
mouth, which upon being reminded by some person present was vulgar, he
transfixed immediately between his teeth, sitting bolt upright, and
grinning like his honourable father's pug-dog, to the infinite amusement
of all the servants. The young gentleman would not however part with the
bone. (Henry burst into a fit of _Laughter_.)
"I must now," said Mr. Willock, "for the benefit of the young ladies,
describe the honourable Miss Boadicea Gobblegruel, who in shape and
figure was the counterpart of her honourable brother.
"Miss Boadicea never looked at any thing; she always stared; she was
excessively vulgar, and was ignorant, in spite of education. She was,
too, always laughing; and when she did laugh, she might be heard from
the drawing-room into the kitchen; nor was there half a note difference
between the laugh of Miss Boadicea and the laugh of the cook-maid. Miss
Boadicea was nearly as coarse in her manners as her brother, but much
more ill-natured and satirical. Master Gobblegruel would not offend any
body, unless they spoke against pigs; and Boadicea had a constant
antipathy to merit in distress, or meanness in apparel; and though she
sometimes deigned to assist, it was always done with the features of
pity proceeding from contempt: but let us have done with this
disagreeable monster; I see, my dear Caroline, that you already despise
her. Another laughing character calls our attention.--I will describe
him in the following story.
_The History of Charles Banter._
"Charles was the son of a gentleman of very moderate circumstances, who
had, however, found means to send him to Eton College, where he
distinguished himself very early, not only by being the best scholar of
his age, but one of the best-natured boys. When Charles was _fag_, he
went through that service without a murmur; he was always as merry as a
grig. If his schoolfellows beat him, he only laughed all the time; in
short, Charles was what they called a fine fellow: but he had a very
great fault, and that was an inclination to entertain himself
continually with that disagreeable amusement of schoolboys, called
_quizzing_; he used to quiz the master, quiz the mistress, quiz the
inhabitants, and quiz the strangers. Charles, therefore, though he was
admired as a clever boy, was not loved, and indeed had many enemies; for
there are very few people who like to be laughed at. Charles Banter's
propensity was often attended with disagreeable consequences, and was a
grand obstacle to his success in life. Charles was at home one vacation,
when a distant relation, who happened to wear a wig, was on a visit to
his father.--The old gentleman took particular notice of Charles; and
having no children of his own, had left him a very handsome fortune.
Charles ought, you will say, to have had a little prudence, but he could
not resist the propensity to quiz. The wig was the object of his
amusement; and he contrived one day, before the old gentleman put it on,
to slip into his room, and pepper and salt all the curls; so that when
he came down to dinner, he set the whole party at table sneezing. At
length the joke was discovered; and as nobody was present on whom the
slightest suspicion of such an indecency could fall, except Charles, the
question was put to him, and the colour in his face pleaded guilty; in
short, he confessed the joke; for Charles, to speak fairly of him,
disdained to tell a lie. His father, who was not a very sensible man,
was indiscreet enough to join in the laugh, and to take no farther
notice of the affair. It was not so with the old gentleman; he never
visited the same table afterwards, and to his will added the following
codicil:--'To master Charles Banter, for the seasoning of my wig, _five
shillings_.'
"You will see by this event, my dear children, that it is your interest
as well as duty, to pay respect to age; for old people can serve you by
their experience, even if they have not money to leave you; you may fly
to them for advice, and the attention you pay them is _never lost_. But
there is a still worse character, and that is him who enjoys mischief,
and who takes a pleasure in cruelty; he laughs too, but his laugh is the
smile of malice. Such a wicked character was Tom Worry, who was the son
of a gentleman, and who had begun very early to make war against the
poor harmless animals and insects who came unfortunately in his way. To
torment and to destroy was his whole delight; and a poor innocent cat
was the particular object of his cruelty; and, what is very
extraordinary, it was to the having hunted one of these poor animals
into a cellar, that he owed all the _scratches_ he afterwards received
from ill-fortune; for while he was amusing himself in this way, he was
joined by a _vulgar_ boy ten times more wicked than himself, and who
exulted with him in the distress of poor puss: this boy ingratiated
himself into his favour, prevailed upon him to run away from his
friends, led him into a great many very serious scrapes, and was at
length his utter ruin.--Surely, my dear children, we need only to
reflect for a moment on the nature of the pain we inflict, to turn from
wanton cruelty: how should we like to be hunted into a corner, by
creatures stronger than ourselves, and pelted by them with stones and
dirt? we should think it very hard usage. If any ill accident assails,
how altered are our features, how wretched, how distressed do we
appear, what agony do our features express at the pain of a broken or
dislocated limb! Let us see if Le Brun has described this
sensation--yes, here it is.