Walk in, Ladies and Gentlemen, and you shall see what you shall see.
The next female whom you are to contemplate, sits under that large and
spreading canopy, made, by the way, out of some old bed-furniture; she
is the celebrated authoress of—all manner of things—Translations from
the German, Novels, Sermons, Divinity Tracts, Original Novels, founded
on domestic facts, and what not besides. But to render this lady the
amplest justice, we insert the whole of her history, as recorded by the
Sexagenarian.
Come then the colours and the ground prepare.
What is here related concerning this very distinguished Lady, must of
course be authentic, for no other reference is necessary than to her own
memorials of herself: these will generally be confirmed by that personal
knowledge, which circumstances enabled the writer to possess. She has
indeed exhibited the portraits of her family, her relatives, her friends,
and herself, rather in uncouth lineaments, and in a somewhat high style
of caricature. This is entirely her own concern, as it also is to settle
the account with her filial piety, for representing parental infirmities
in colours too vivid to be overlooked, and too characteristic to be
misapplied.
But lest we should be mistaken, the reader is entreated, on the very
threshold, to be assured that our friend’s general opinion of this
Lady, is very favourable. She possesses considerable talents; she has
cultivated and improved them by severe study and rigorous discipline.
Her knowledge of languages is very considerable, or once was so, for we
must be understood as speaking of days that are past. She is, or was,
familiarly conversant with German, French, Italian, and other modern
languages, and far from ignorant either of Greek or Latin. Indeed, when
we knew her, she was able to read, and did read, the most popular of the
Latin classics, with considerable facility. With respect to her other
qualities of mind, we know her to be kind-hearted, benevolent, and
hospitable; always ready to listen to, and relieve distress; very anxious
and zealous, without any tinge of fanaticism, on the subjects of religion
and morals.
Now, reader, with whatever reluctance it may be done, it is time to
balance the account _per contra_.
The first and great deficiency, we have to notice, is want of judgment.
In all her original compositions, she seems to write down every thing
which presents itself to her mind, without thinking it necessary to use
subsequent revision and consideration. Hence it is that her sentences
are sometimes expanded to an inordinate length, and her ideas, forcible
and good perhaps in their first conception, are dilated and spun out
to cobweb insubstantiality. In her compositions also, there is the
grossest affectation of learning, and a perpetual use of crabbed,
uncouth, pedantic expressions; so that of two words, where one was
simple, explicit, and perspicuous, and the other of similar import has
a Greek termination, in defiance of all good taste, the latter would
be assuredly preferred. There seems also, or did seem, an irresistible
propensity to take every gossip anecdote and tea-table chatter of Lady
Tittle-tattle, Mrs. Go-about, and Sir Timothy Newsmonger, as authentic
fact, and make them the occasion of some fine moralizing theorems,
and philosophical discussion. There is, or was, but this perhaps may
be sexual, a marvellous pertinacity in adhering to the opinions and
assertions once made and avowed, in defiance of counter authorities, and
the best substantiated facts. It is far more pleasant to contemplate the
other side of the picture.
It is therefore with no common satisfaction we relate, that this lady’s
perseverance, determination, and consistent steadiness, in the earlier
period of life, overcame the most formidable difficulties which were
interposed between her and the cultivation of her mind; the fortitude
with which she resisted the mean and cruel attempts which were made
to keep her in a state of ignorance, and to withhold from her every
opportunity of improvement, is in the highest degree honourable to her,
and marks very superior intellectual endowments.
Her mother, a low-minded creature, was actually jealous of her, and could
not endure the idea that her daughter should know any thing of which she
herself was ignorant. She constantly insulted and depressed her. Her
father, a proud consequential man, had some talents. But let us pause.
The lady has herself told all these things of herself, of her mother and
father also, though under the ingenious veil of fictitious names and
characters. We shall therefore satisfy ourselves by the recapitulation
of a few things, which she has not related of herself.
In the first place, her persevering industry and determination to obtain
somewhat of scientific accomplishments, was, in her early youth, beyond
all example. No obstacles intimidated her, no interruptions relaxed her
ardour, no unkindness turned her from her purpose.
She would read by the scanty and pernicious light of dying embers;
she would submit to the most serious privations; she would alike defy
cold, and heat, and hunger, and thirst, in pursuit of her object; and
she (as she deserved to do) obtained it. She qualified herself in case
of accident or misfortune, though she had no reasonable grounds for
expecting the necessity to operate, to obtain the means of livelihood,
either as a teacher of others, or as a translator and author. She
actually did, when in her father’s house, without the knowledge of her
parents, undertake a work for a bookseller, and successfully performed
it; by which she obtained a sum of money sufficiently large to procure
some indulgence she had in view, either of learning German, or of
purchasing books, or something of the kind, which might extend her
knowledge, and improve her mind.
Since she became her own mistress, independent, end opulent, the same
habits of diligence have remained; a certain portion of every day is now,
as before, regularly allotted for a particular study and employment.
These habits are perhaps (or were) characterised by a precision,
convenient undoubtedly to herself, but in a certain degree offensive and
troublesome to such of her inmates, as may not, like herself, happen to
move with the regularity of a watch. The anticipation or delay of five
minutes before or after the time precisely fixed for any particular
object, was wont to occasion a feverish irritability, and discompose the
whole mental machine for a long interval.
To finish this sketch, it behoves us to say, that in all the various
works which have been produced by this Lady’s pen, every thing good, and
wise, and virtuous, and pious, is inculcated with all the force of her
talents. We believe that her writings, as they have had a very extensive,
so have they had also a very salutary circulation. The few faults which
we have deemed it necessary to point out, are exceedingly venial in
themselves, and not of importance from their number; whilst her valuable
qualities, her abilities, and her usefulness, entitle her to a very
considerable place among those females, who in modern times have been
distinguished by the attention of the public.
Vobis ergo sacra ferenda, Musæ
Sed quæ victima grata? quæ Camœnis
Dicata hostia? parcite O Camœnæ
Nova hæc victima, sed tamen suavis
Futura arbitror, admodumque grata.