1
It was Mrs. Bailey coming up the top flight clearing her throat. Tapping
at the door.
"Ah. I thought the young lady was in. I _thought_ so." Mrs. Bailey stood
approving inside the door. The sunlight streamed on to her shabby skirt.
The large dusty house, the many downstair rooms, the mysterious
dark-roomed vault of the basement, all upright in her upright form;
hurried smeary cleansings, swift straightening of grey-sheeted beds, the
strange unfailing water-system, gurgling cisterns, gushing taps and
lavatory flushes, the wonder of gaslight and bedroom candles, the daily
meals magically appearing and disappearing; her knowledge of the various
mysteriously arriving and vanishing people, all beginning and ending in
her triumphant, reassuring smile that went forward outside beyond these
things, with everybody.
Now that she was there, bearing and banishing all these heavy things,
the squat green teapot on the table in the blaze of window-light, the
Chinese lantern hanging from the hook in the ceiling, the little Madras
muslin curtains at either end of the endmost lattices made a picture and
set the room free from the challenge of the house accumulating as Miriam
had come up through it and preventing the effect she had sought when she
put out the green teapot on the sunlit table. She was receiving Mrs.
Bailey as a guest, backed up by the summery little window-room. She
stood back in the gloom, dropping back into the green lamplit stillness
of the farm-house garden. The Song of Hiawatha sounded on and on amongst
the trees, the trunk of the huge sheltering oak lit brightly by the
shaded lamp on the little garden table, the forms in the long chairs
scarcely visible. She offered Mrs. Bailey the joy of her journey down,
her bicycle in the van, Miss Szigmondy's London guests, the
sixteenth-century ingle, the pine-scented bedrooms with sloping floors,
the sandy high-banked lanes and pine-clad hills, the strange talk with
the connoisseur, the kind stupid boyish mind of the London doctor who
had _seen_ myopic astigmatism across the lunch table and admitted being
beaten in argument without resentment; the long dewy morning ride to
Guildford; the happy thorns in her hands keeping the week-end still
going on at Wimpole Street; her renewed sense of the simplicity of
imposing looking people, their personal helplessness on the surface of
wealthy social life; the glow of wealthy social life lighting the little
wooden window-room, gleaming from the sheeny flecks of light on the
well-shaped green teapot.
Mrs. Bailey advanced to the middle of the floor and stood looking
towards the window. My word aren't we _smart_ she breathed.
"I like the teapot and the lantern, don't you?" said Miriam.
"Very pretty, mts, very pretty, young lady."
"It reminds me of week-ends. It _is_ a week-end. That is my
drawing-room."
"That's it. It's a week-end," beamed Mrs. Bailey. But she had come for
something. The effect was not spoiled by giving a wrong, _social_
impression of it, because Mrs. Bailey was busily thinking behind her
voice. When she had gone the silent effect would be there, more
strongly. Perhaps she had some new suggestion to make about Sissie.
"Well, young lady, I want to talk to you." Mrs. Bailey propped one elbow
on the mantelpiece and brushed at her skirt. Miriam waited, watching
her impatiently. The Tansley Street life was fading into the glow of the
oncoming holiday season. Rain was cooling the July weather, skirmishy
sunlit April rain and wind drawing her forward. There was leisure in
cool uncrowded streets and restaurants and in the two cool houses, no
pressure of work, the gay easy August that was almost as good as a
holiday, and the certainty beyond the rain, of September brilliance.
"Well you know I've a great regard for you, young lady."
Miriam stared back at the long row of interviews with Mrs. Bailey and
sought her face for her invisible thoughts.
"Well to come straight to the point without beating about the bush, it's
about him, that little man, you know who I mean."
"Who?"
"Mendizzable."
Miriam's interest awoke and flared. That past patch of happy life had
been somehow or other visible to Mrs. Bailey. She felt decorated and
smiled into the room.
"Well; you know I don't believe in talk going about from one to another.
In _my_ opinion people should mind their own business and not listen to
tittle-tattle, or if they do, keep it to themselves without passing it
on and making mischief."
"Has someone been trying to make mischief about poor little Mr.
Mendizabal?"
"Well, if it was about him I wouldn't mind so much. Little villain.
That's my name for him."
"Fascinating little villain if he must be called a villain."
"Well; that's what I've got to ask you my chahld; are you under a
fascination about him? You'll excuse me asking such a question."
Solicitude! _what_ for?
"Well. I _did_ think him fascinating; he fascinated me, he would
anybody. He would fascinate Miss _Scott_ if he chose."
"'Er? 'Er be fascinated by anybody? She thinks too much of number one
for that."
... Miss Scott. Dressing so carefully, so full of independent talk
and laughter and not able to be fascinated ... too far-seeing to be
fascinated.
"But why do you ask? I'm not responsible for Mr. Mendizabal's being a
fascinating little man."
"Fascinating little _devil_. You should have heard Dr. Winchester."
Something hidden; all the time; behind the politeness of the house.
"Dr. _Win_chester?"
"Dr. Winchester. Do you remember him coming out into the hall one
evening when you were brushing your coat?"
"And brushing it for me. Yes."
"He didn't know how to let you go." There was a trembling in Mrs.
Bailey's voice. "He said," she pursued breathlessly, "he was in two
minds to come with you himself."
"_Where? Why?_"
"Why? He _knew_ that fella was waiting for you round the corner."
Suddenly appearing, brushing so carefully ... why not have spoken and
come.
"Well now we're coming to it. I can't tell you how it all happened,
that's between Mr. Gunner and Miss S. They got to know you was going out
with Mendizzable and where you went. It's contemptible I know, if you
like, but there's many such people about."
Miriam checked her astonishment, making a mental note for future
contemplation of the spectacle of Mr. Gunner, or Miss Scott, following
her to Ruscino's. They had told Mrs. Bailey and talked to the
doctors.... Spies; talking idle; maliciously picking over her secret
life.
"Dr. Winchester said he was worried half out of his senses about you."
"Why not have said so?"
"You may be wondering," Mrs. Bailey flushed a girlish pink, "why I come
up to-day telling you all this. That's just what _I_ say. That's just
the worst of it. He never breathed a word to me till he went."
Dr. Winchester _gone_ ... the others gone ... of _course_. Next week
would be August. They had all vanished away; out of the house, back to
Canada. Dr. von Heber gone without a word. Perhaps _he_ had been
worried. They _all_ had. That was why they had all been so nice and
surrounding.... That was the explanation of everything.... They
were brothers. Jealous brothers. The first she had had. This was the
sort of thing girls had who had brothers. Cheek. If only she had known
and shown them how silly they were.
"Lawk. I wish to goodness he'd come straight to me at once."
"Well. It's awfully sweet of them from their point of view. They were
such _awfully_ nice little men in their way."... _Why_ didn't they
come to me, instead of all this talk? They knew me well enough. All
those long talks at night. And all the time they were seeing a foolish
girl fascinated by a disreputable foreigner. How dare they?
"That's what I say. I can't forgive him for that. They're all alike.
Selfish."
"All old men like Dr. Winchester are selfish. Selfish and weak. They get
to think of nothing but their comforts. And keep out of everything by
talk."
"It's not him I mean. It's the other one."
"Which?" What was Mrs. Bailey going to say? What? Miriam gazed angrily.
"That's what I must tell you. That's why I asked you if you was under a
fascination."
"Oh well, they've gone. What does it matter?"
"I feel I ought to tell you. He, von Heber, had made up his mind to
_speak_. He was one in a thousand, Winchester said. She's lost von Heber
he said. He thought the _world_ of her, 'e sez," gasped Mrs. Bailey. "My
_word_, I wish I'd known what was going on."
Miriam flinched. Mrs. Bailey must be made to go now.
"Oh really," she said in trembling tones. "He was an awfully nice man."
"My word. Isn't it a pity," said Mrs. Bailey with tears in her eyes. "It
worries me something shocking."
"Oh well, if he was so stupid."
"Well, you can't blame him after what Mendizzable _said_."
"You haven't told me."
"He said he'd only to raise his finger. Oh Lawk. Well there you are, now
you've got it all."
Mrs. Bailey _must_ go. Mr. Mendizabal's mind was a French novel. He'd
said French thoughts in English to the doctors. They had believed. Even
Canadian men can have French minds.
"Yes. Well I see it all now. Mr. Mendizabal's vanity is his own
affair.... I'm sure I hope they've all had an interesting summer. I'm
awfully glad you've told me. It's most interesting."
"Well, I felt it was my duty to come up and tell you. I felt you ought
to know."
"Yes ... I'm awfully glad you've told me. It's like, er, a storm in a
teacup."
"It's not them I'm thinking of. Lot of low-minded gossips. That's my
opinion. It's the harm they do I'm thinking of."
"They can't do any harm. As for the doctors they're quite able to take
care of themselves." Miriam moved impatiently about the room. But she
could not let herself look at her thoughts with Mrs. Bailey there.
"Well young lady," murmured Mrs. Bailey dolorously at last, "I felt I
couldn't do less than come up, for my _own_ satisfaction."
She thinks I have made a scandal, without consulting her ... her mind
flew, flaming, over the gossiping household, over Mrs. Bailey's thoughts
as she pondered the evidence. Wrenching away from the spectacle she
entrenched herself far off; clutching out towards the oblivion of the
coming holidays; a clamour came up from the street, the swaying tumult
of a fire-engine, the thunder of galloping horses, the hoarse shouts of
the firemen; the outside life to which she went indifferent to any
grouped faces either of approval or of condemnation.
"I'm awfully sorry you've had all this, Mrs. Bailey."
"Oh that's nothing. It's not that I think of."
"Don't think about anything. It doesn't matter."
"Well I've got it off my mind now I've spoken."
"It _is_ abominable isn't it. Never mind. I don't care. People are
perfectly welcome to talk about me if it gives them any satisfaction."
"That is so. It's von Heber I'm so mad about."
"They're all alike as you say."
"He might have given you a chance."
Dr. von _Heber_; suddenly nearer than anyone. Her own man. By his own
conviction. Found away here, at Mrs. Bailey's; Mrs. Bailey's regret
measuring his absolute genuineness. Gone away....
She steadied herself to say "Oh, if he's selfish."
"They're all that, every one of them. But we've all got to settle in
life, sooner or later."
That was all, for Mrs. Bailey. She rallied woefully in the thought that
Mrs. Bailey knew she could have settled in life if she had chosen.
Flickering faintly far away was something to be found behind all this,
some silent thing she would find by herself if only Mrs. Bailey would
go.
* * * * *
_Fascinated._ How did they find the word? It was true; and false. This
was the way people talked. These were the true-false phrases used to sum
up things for which there were no words.
They had no time. They were too busy. That was in the scheme. They were
somehow prevented from doing anything. Dr. von Heber had been saved. The
fascinating eyes and snorting smile had saved him; coming out of space
to tell him she was a flirt. He had boasted. She adore me; hah! I tell
you she adore me, he would say. It was history repeating itself. Max and
Ted. Again after all these years. A _Jew_.
2
The unconscious, inexorable ship ... gliding across the Atlantic.
They would take up their bright Canadian life again. England, a silent
picture, fading.... Dear Dr. von Heber. I owe it to myself just to
inform you that the legend you heard about me was untrue. Wishing you a
happy and prosperous career yours truly. That would be saying I, fool,
have discovered too late that I was not clever enough to let you imagine
that you were the only kind of man in the world ... discreet women are
sly. To get on in the world it is necessary to be sly. Von Heber is sly.
Careful and prudent and sly. What did genius Wayneflete think? Genius
understands everything. Discreet proper clever women are open books to
him. He will never marry. Whimsical old failure, Winchester,
disappearing into British Columbia; failure; decorated in his evening
conversations by having been to England.... My dear von Heber, what
the devil do you mean? When will you meet me? Choose your own weapons
... that would be admitting not having the right to be as free and
indiscreet as one chooses ... "a woman must march with her regiment;
if she is wise she does"; something like that. If a woman is _sly_ she
marches with her regiment ... all in agreement, being sly and
discreet, helping each other. What for? What was the plot for? ...
there's a _word_ ... _coercion_, that's the word. Better any sort of
free life.
* * * * *
If he could have _seen_. But then he would have seen those other moments
too. Von Heber. Power and success. Never any moments like that. Divided
life all the time _always_. So much for his profession, so much for her,
outside it with the regiment of women. Proper men can't bring the wild,
gleaming ... channel of flowers, pulling dragging to fling yourself
headlong down it and awake, dead. Dead if you do. Dead if you don't. Now
Tomlinson gave up the ghost.
3
"You're just in time." They had come back? He had come back for
something?
"There's a surprise waiting for you upstairs"; _what_ surprise Mrs.
Bailey; how can you be happy and mysterious; cajoling to rush on into
nothing, sweeping on, talking; "a friend of yorse; Dr. Winchester's
room; she's longing to see you."
"Good heavens."
Miriam fled upstairs and tapped at the door of the room below her own. A
smooth fluting thoughtful voice answered tranquilly from within the
spaces of the room behind the closed door. There was no one with a voice
like that to speak to intimately. It was a stranger, someone she had met
somewhere and given the address to; a superior worldly person serenely
answering the knock of a housemaid. She went in. Tall figure, tall skirt
and blouse standing at the dressing-table. The grime-screened saffron
light fell on white hands pinning a skein of bright gold hair round the
back of a small head. How do you do, Miriam announced, coming forward
with obedient reluctance. The figure turned; a bent flushed face laughed
from tumbled hair.
"'Ere I am dear; turned up like a bad penny. I'll shake 'ands in a
minute." With compressed lips and bent frowning brow Miss Dear went on
busily pinning. "Bother my silly hair," she went on with deepening
flush, "I shall be able to talk to you in a minute."
Miriam clutched at the amazed resentment that flamed from her up and
down the sudden calm unconscious facade reared between her and the
demolished house, spread across the very room that had held the key to
its destruction. She fought for annihilating words, but her voice had
spoken ahead of her.
"_El_eanor!"
With the word a soft beauty ran flickering, an edge of light about the
form searched by her gazing eyes. Their shared past flowed in the room
... the skirt was a shabby thin blue serge, rubbed shiny, the skimpy
cotton blouse had an ugly greyish stripe and badly cut shoulders, one
and eleven at an awful shop, but she was just going to speak.
"There that's better," she said lowering her hands to tweak at the
blouse, her blue eyes set judiciously on the face of the important
Duchesse mirror, her passing servant. "'Ow _are_ you, dear?"
"_I'm_ all right;" thrilled Miriam, "you're just in time for dinner."
"I am afraid I don't look very _din_nery," frowned Miss Dear, fingering
the loose unshapely collar of her blouse. "I wonder if you could let me
have a tie, just for to-day, dear."
"I've got a lace one, but it's crumply," hazarded Miriam.
"I can manage it I daresay if you'd let me avit."
The gong sounded. "I shan't be a second," Miriam promised and fled. The
little stair-flight and her landing, the sunset gilded spaces of her
room flung her song out into the world. The tie was worse than she had
thought, its middle length crushed and grubby. She hesitated over a card
of small pearl-headed lace pins, newly bought and forgotten. For
fourpence three farthings the twelve smooth filmy pearl heads, their
bright sharp-pointed gilt shanks pinned in a perfect even row through
the neat oblong of the sheeny glazed card, lit up her drawer, bringing
back the lace-hung aisles of the west-end shop, its counters spread with
the fascinating details of the worldly life. The pins were the forefront
of her armoury, still too blissfully new to be used.... However
Eleanor arranged the tie she could not use more than three.
"Thank you dear," she said indifferently, as if they were her own things
obligingly brought in, and swiftly pinned one end of the unexamined tie
to her blouse collar. With lifted chin she deftly bound the lace round
and round close to her neck each swathe firmly pinned, making a column
wider than the width of the lace. Above her blouse, transformed by the
disappearance of its ugly collar, her graceful neck went up, a column of
filmy lace. Miriam watched, learning and amazed.
"That's better than nothing anyhow," said Miss Dear from her sideways
movements of contemplation. Three or four small pearly heads gleamed
mistily from the shapely column of lace. The glazed card lay on the
dressing-table crumpled and rent and empty of all its pins.
4
The dining-room was a buzz of conversation. The table was packed save
for two chairs on Mrs. Bailey's right hand. _Mrs. Bailey_ was wearing a
_black satin blouse_ cut in a V and a piece of black ribbon-velvet tied
round her neck! She was in conversation, preening and arching as she
ladled out the soup, with a little _lady_ and a big old _gentleman_ with
a patriarch beard sitting on her right bowing and smiling, personally,
towards Miriam and Miss Dear as they took their seats. Miriam bowed and
gazed as they went on talking. The old gentleman had a large oblong head
above a large expensive spread of smooth well-cut black coat; a huge
figure, sitting tall, with easily moving head reared high, massy grey
hair; unspectacled smiling glistening eyes and oblong fresh cheeked face
wreathed in smiles revealing gleaming squares of gold stopping in his
front teeth. His voice was vast and silky, like the beard that moved as
he spoke, shifting about on the serviette tucked by one corner into his
neck. His little wife was like a kind bird, soft curtains of greying
black hair crimping down from a beautifully twisted top-knot on either
side of a clear gentle forehead. Softly gleaming eyes shone through
rimless pince-nez perched delicately on her delicate nose, no ugly
straight bar, a little half-hoop to join them together and at the side a
delicate gold chain tucked over one ear ... she was about as old as
mother had been ... she was exactly like her ... girlishly young,
but untroubled; the little white ringed left hand with strange
unfamiliarly expressive finger-tips and curiously mobile turned-back
thumb-tip was herself in miniature. It held a little piece of bread,
peaked, expressively, as she ate her soup. She was utterly familiar, no
stranger; always known. Miriam adored, seeking her eyes till she looked,
and meeting a gentle enveloping welcome, making no break in her
continuous soft animation. The only strange thing was a curious
_circular_ sweep of her delicate jaw as she spoke; a sort of wide
mouthing on some of her many quiet words, thrown in through and between
and together with the louder easily audible silky tones of her husband.
Mrs. Bailey sat unafraid, expanding in happiness. You _will_ have a
number of things to see she was saying. We are counting on this laddie
to be our guide, said the old gentleman turning hugely to his further
neighbour. Miriam's eyes followed and met the face of Dr. _Hurd_ ...
_grinning_; his intensest brick-red grin. He had not gone! These were
his _parents_. _He_ needs a holiday too, the dear lad, said the old
gentleman laying a hand on his shoulder. Dr. Hurd grinned a rueful
disclaimer with his eyes still on Miriam's and said I shan't be sorry,
his face crinkling with his unexploded hysterically leaping laugh. Mrs.
Hurd's smiling little face flickered with quickly smothered sadness.
They had come all the way from Canada to share his triumph and were here
smoothing his defeat.... Canadian old people. A _Canadian_ woman ...
that circular jaw movement was made by the Canadian vowels. They
disturbed a woman's small mouth more than a man's. It must affect her
thoughts, the held-open mouth; _airing_ them; making them _circular_,
sympathetically balanced, easier to go on from than the more narrowly
mouthed English speech.... Mr. Gunner, sitting beside your son is a
violinist.... Ah. We shall hope to hear him. Mr. Gunner, small and
shyly smiling, next to him an _enormous_ woman with a large school-girl
face, fair straight and school-girl hair lifted in a flat wave from her
broad forehead into an angry peak, angrily eating with quickly moving
brawny arms coming out of elbow sleeves with cheap cream lace frilling,
reluctantly forced to flop against the brawny arms. Sallow good-looking
husband, olive, furious, cocksure, bilious type, clubby and knowing,
flat ignorance on the top of his unconscious shiny round black skull,
both snatching at scraps of Scott and Sissie and Gunner chaff, trying to
smile their way in to hide their fury with each other. Too poor to get
further away from each other, accustomed to boarding house life, eating
rapidly and looking for more. She had several brothers; a short
aristocratic upper lip and shapely scornful nostrils, brothers in the
diplomatic service or the army. There was someone this side of the table
they recognised as different and were watching; a tall man beyond Mrs.
Barrow, a strange _fine_ voice with wandering protesting inflections;
speaking out into the world, with practised polished wandering
inflections, like a tired pebble worn by the sea, going on and on,
presenting the same worn wandering curves wherever it was, always a
stranger everywhere, always anew presenting the strange wandering
inflections; indiscriminately. That end of the table was not aware of
the Hurds. Its group was wandering outside the warm glow of Canadian
society. Eleanor Dear was feeling at its doors, pathetic-looking with
delicate appealing head and thoughtful baby brow downcast. Us'll wander
out this evening shall us, murmured Miriam in a lover-like undertone. It
was a grimace at the wide-open door of Canadian life; an ironic kick à
la Harriet. Her heart beat recklessly round the certainty of writing and
posting her letter. If he cared he would understand. Mrs. Hurd had come
to show her Canadian society, brushing away the tangles and stains of
accidental contacts; putting everything right. Of course we will,
bridled Miss Dear rebuking her vulgarity. Nothing mattered now but
filling up the time.
The table was breaking up; the Hurds retiring in a backward-turning
group talking to Mrs. Bailey, towards the door. The others were standing
about the room. The Hurds had gone. _Oh_-no, _that's_ all right, Mrs.
Bailey; _I'll_ be all right. It was the wandering voice.... It went on,
up and down, the most curious different singing tones, the sentences
beginning high and dropping low and ending on an even middle tone that
sounded as if it were going on. It had a meaning without the meaning of
the words. Mrs. Bailey went on with some explanation and again the voice
sent out its singing shape; up and down and ending on a waiting tone.
Miriam looked at the speaker; a tall grey clad man, a thin pale
absent-minded face, standing towards Mrs. Bailey, in a drooping lounge,
giving her all his attention, several people were drifting out of the
room, down-bent towards her small form; Eleanor Dear was waiting,
sitting docile, making no suggestion, just right, like a sister; but his
eyes never met Mrs. Bailey's; they were fixed, burning, on something far
away; his thoughts were far away, on something that never moved. There
was a loud rat-tat on the front door, more than a telegram and less than
a caller; a claim, familiar and peremptory. Mrs. Bailey looked sharply
up. Sissie was ambling hurriedly out of the room. Oh _dear_, chirruped
Eleanor softly, _some_one wants to come in. Well; I'll say goodnight,
said the grey figure and turned easily with a curious waiting halting
lounge, exactly like the voice, towards the door. It could stop easily,
if anyone were coming in, and wander on again in an unbroken movement.
The grey shoulders passing out through the door with the gaslight on
them had no look of going out of the room, desolate, they looked
_desolate_. The room was almost empty. Mrs. Bailey was listening
undisguisedly towards the hall. Sissie came in looking watchfully about.
It's Mr. Rodkin, mother dear she said sullenly. _Rod_kin? _'Im?_ gasped
Mrs. Bailey, transfigured. Can I come in? asked a deep hollow
insinuating voice at the door, how do you do Mrs. Bailey? Mrs. Bailey
had flung the door wide and was laughing and shaking hands heartily up
and down with a small swarthy black moustached little man with an armful
of newspapers and a top hat pushed back on his head. _Well_, he said
uncovering a small bony sleek black head and sliding into a chair, his
hat sticking out from the hand of the arm clasping the great bundle of
newspapers. How _grand_ you are. Moy word. What's the meaning of it? His
teeth gleamed brilliantly. He had small high prominent cheek-bones,
yellow beaten-in temples and a yellow hollow face; yet something almost
dimpling about his smile. Aren't we? chuckled Mrs. Bailey taking his
hat. Mr. Rodkin drew his hand over his face, yawning Well I've been
_every_where since I left; _Mos_cow, _Pe_tersburg, Ba_toom_, Harr-_bin_,
_every_where. Moy _wort_. Miss Sissie you are a grown-up grand foine
young lady. What is it all about? No joke; _tell_ me I say. Mrs. Bailey
sat at ease smiling triumphantly. A grand foine dinner.... Well you
wouldn't have me _starve_ my boarduz. _Boarders_ murmured Mr. Rodkin,
_My_ God. He jerked his head back with a laugh and jerked it down again.
Well it's good business anyhow. _Bless_ my heart! They talked familiarly
on, two tired worn people in a little blaze of mutual congratulation.
Mr. Rodkin had come to stay at once without going away. He noticed no
one but the Baileys and questioned on and on yawning and laughing with
sudden jerks of his head.
Coming back from sitting flirting with Eleanor at Donizetti's, Miriam
wandered impatiently into the dark dining-room. Eleanor was not her
guest. Why didn't she go up to her room and leave her to the dim
street-lit dining-room and the nightly journey up through the darkness
to her garret in freedom. Bed-time she hinted irritably, tugging at the
tether. Bed-time echoed Eleanor, her smooth humouring nurse's voice
bringing in her world of watchful diplomatic manœuvring, scattering the
waiting population of the familiar dim room. I'm going to bed stated
Miriam advancing towards the windows. On the table under the window that
was the most brightly lit by the street-lamps was a paper, a pamphlet
... coloured; blue. She took it up. It hung limply in her hand, the
paper felt pitted and poor, like very thin blotting paper. _Young
Ireland_ she read printed in thick heavy black lettering across the top
of the page. The words stirred her profoundly, calling to something far
away within her, long ago. Underneath the thick words two short columns
side by side began immediately. They went on for several pages and were
followed by short paragraphs with headings; she pressed close to the lit
window, peering; there were blotchy badly printed asterisks between
small groups of lines. Heavy black headings further on, like the title,
but smaller, and followed by thick exclamation signs. It was a sort of
little newspaper, the angry print too heavy for the thin paper. Green.
It was green all through ... _Ireland_; home-rule. I _say_ she
exclaimed eagerly. That was the grey man. _Irish_. That's all going on
still she said solicitously to a large audience. _What_ dear asked
Eleanor's figure close to her side. Ireland, breathed Miriam. We've got
a home-ruler in the house. Look at this; green all through. It's some
propaganda, in London, very angry. I 'ope the home-ruler isn't green all
through chuckled Eleanor smoothly. It's the wearin' o' the green scolded
Miriam. The Emerald Isle. We're so stupid. An Irish girl I knew told me
she 'just couldn't bear to face thinking' of the way we treat our
children.
Leaving Eleanor abruptly in darkness in her bedroom she shut the door
and stepped into freedom. The cistern gurgled from the upper dark
freshness. Her world was uninvaded. Klah-rah _Buck_, in reverent
unctuousness, waiting for responsive awe from those sitting round. He
meant Clara Butt. Then she had been to Canada. He had expected....
Little Mrs. Hurd had sat birdlike at a Morning Musical hearing the sweep
of the tremendous voice. I have never heard it, but I know how it rolls
tremendously out and sweeps. I can hear it by its effect on them. They
would not believe that. Rounding the sweep of the little staircase she
was surprised by a light under the box-room door. Mrs. Bailey, at
midnight, busy in the little box-room? How could she find room to have
the door shut? Her garret felt fresh and free. Summer rain pattering on
the roof in the darkness. The _Colonisation of Ulster_. Her mind turned
the pages of a school essay, page after page, no red-ink corrections,
the last page galloping along one long sentence; "until England shall
have recognised her cruel folly." 10; _excellent_, E.B.R. A fraud and
yet not a fraud. Never having thought of Ireland before reading it up in
Green, and then some strange indignation and certainty, coming suddenly
while writing; there for always. I had forgotten about it. A man's
throat was cleared in the box-room. The tone of the wandering voice....
Mrs. Bailey had screwed him into that tiny hole. _I'll_ be all
_right_.... What a shame. He must not know anyone knew he was there. He
did not know he was the first to disturb the top landing.... He did not
disturb it. There were no English thoughts in there, nothing of the
downstairs house. Julia Doyle, Dublin Bay, _Clontarf_; fury underneath,
despairing of understanding, _showing_ how the English understood
nothing, themselves nor anyone else. But the Irish were not people ...
they did not care for _anything_. Meredith was partly Celtic. _That_ was
why his writing always felt to be pointing in some invisible direction.
He wrote so much because he did not care about anything. Novelists were
angry men lost in a fog. But how did they find out how to do it? Brain.
Frontal development. But it was not certain that that was not just the
extra piece wanted to control the bigger muscular system. Sacrificed to
muscle. Going about with more muscles and a bit more brain, if _size_
means _more_, doing all kinds of different _set_ pieces of work in the
world, each in a space full of problems none of them could agree about.
5
"_Gracious._ You'll ave to be up early in the morning to say all those
names dear."