(_BEING QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS CUT ON THE STRAIGHT_.)
_Question_. So you have finished your education?
_Answer_. Yes, thanks to the liberality of the School Board.
_Q._ Do you know more than your parents?
_A._ Certainly, as my father was a sweep, and my mother a charwoman.
_Q._ Would either occupation suit you?
_A._ Certainly not; my aspirations soar above such pursuits, and my
health, impaired by excessive study, unfits me for a life of manual
labour.
_Q._ Kindly tell me what occupation _would_ suit you?
_A._ I think I could, with a little cramming, pass the examinations
for the Army, the Navy, or the Bar.
_Q._ Then why not become an officer in either branch of the United
Service, or a Member of one of the Inns of Court?
_A._ Because I fear that as a man of neither birth nor breeding, I
should be regarded with contempt in either the Camp or the Forum.
_Q._ Would you take a clerkship in the City?
_A._ Not willingly, as I have enjoyed something better than a
commercial education, besides City clerkships are not to be had for
the asking.
_Q._ Well, would you become a shop-boy or a counter-jumper?
_A._ Certainly not; I should deem it a sin to waste my accomplishments
(which are many) in filling a situation suggestive of the servants'
hall, rather than of the library.
_Q._ Well then, how are you to make an honest livelihood?
_A._ Those who are responsible for my education must answer that
question.
_Q._ And if they can't?
_A._ Then I must accept an alternative, and seek inspiration and
precedents from the records of success in another walk of life,
beginning with the pages of the _Newgate Calendar!_
* * * * *