The Maroons did not leave us long in suspense. Once more uttering the
most fearful and bewildering shrieks, they advanced from every quarter,
completely surrounding, as we judged, the house. For a minute they
halted, and must have fired every musket they had among them. Loopholes
had been left in all the windows, and every now and then I peeped
through one of them, to try and discover what was taking place. There
was just sufficient light to enable me to see the dusky forms of the
rebels breaking through the fences and shrubberies which surrounded the
house. As they arrived, they formed in front, dancing, and shrieking,
and firing off their muskets and blunderbusses in the most irregular
fashion, expending a great deal of gunpowder, but doing us no harm.
Captain Helfrich was watching them. When some hundreds had been thus
collected, he suddenly exclaimed, "Now, my lads, give it them! Don't
throw your shots away on the bushes!"
Obedient to the order, every man in the house fired, and continued
firing as fast as he could load his musket. I dropped on my knee
alongside the arms the captain had appropriated, and as I handed a
loaded musket to him he gave me back the one he had fired, which I
reloaded as rapidly as I could.
This continued for some minutes, the constant shrieks and groans of our
black assailants showing us that the shot frequently took effect. I
believe, indeed, that very few of the captain's missed. Though he fired
rapidly, it was always with coolness and steadiness, and it appeared to
me that he had singled out his victim before he turned round to take the
musket from me.
As yet none of our people had been killed, though some of the enemy's
shot had found their way through the loopholes in the windows and doors.
Growing, however, more desperate at the loss of their companions, and
burning for revenge, they rushed up closer to the house, pouring in
their fire, which searched out every hole and cranny. Some of the
slaves who incautiously exposed themselves were the first to suffer. A
poor fellow was standing at the window next to me. A bullet struck him
on the breast. It was fired from a tree, I suspect. Down he fell,
crying out piteously, and writhing in his agony. It was very dreadful.
Then the blood rushed out of his mouth in torrents, and he was quiet. I
sprang forward, intending to help him. The pale light of the lantern
fell on his countenance. He looked perfectly calm. I thought he was
resting, and would get up soon and fire away again. My glance was but
momentary, for the captain called me back to my post.
The fire on this became hotter and hotter. Two more negroes were
struck. They did not fall, but cried out most piteously. One of the
English gentlemen was next shot. He fell without a groan. The captain
told me to run and see where he was hurt. I tried to lift him up, but
his limbs fell down motionless. There was a deep hole in his forehead,
through which blood was bubbling. I suspected the truth that he was
dead. I told the captain that he was hit on the head. "Leave him,
then, Jack," said he; "you can do him no good."
On my return, I looked at the negro who had been first hit. He, too,
was motionless. I tried to place him in a sitting posture, but he fell
back again.
"Let him alone, Jack," cried the captain; "his work is done; he's no
longer a slave."
I thus found that the negro also was dead. It seemed very dreadful to
me; I burst into tears.
I cried heartily as I knelt loading the muskets, forgetting that in a
short time the captain, and I, and every one in the house, might be in
the same state. Had not the whites shown great determination, all must
before this have fallen victims to the rage of the Maroons. Numbers of
our enemies were shot, but still they rushed on, resolved to destroy the
house and all in it.
While the uproar they made was at its height, a loud battering was heard
at one of the doors. The enemy had cut down the trunk of a young tree,
and were endeavouring to break in the door with it. The captain and the
other gentlemen shot down several who were thus engaged, but still they
persevered; and, as some fell, fresh assailants rushing up, seized the
battering-ram, and continued the work. The door was stout, but we saw
that it was giving way. It began to crack in every direction. Pieces
of furniture and sand-bags were piled up against it, but with little
avail. Each blow shattered a part of it, and soon, with a loud crash,
it was driven in, and the fierce, excited faces of our dark foes were
seen above the barricade formed by the bags, and furniture, and broken
door. Several who attempted to pass over it were shot down, but our
people being now much more than ever exposed to the fire of the enemy,
proportionably suffered. The shot came in thick among us, and one after
the other was wounded.
While the captain and others were defending the breach, the
battering-ram was withdrawn; why, we were not long left in doubt. To
our great horror, the battering, cracking sound was heard in the rear of
the house. Still we were not at once to be defeated, and some of our
party hurried to defend the spot. The attack on the front-door had cost
the negroes so many lives that they were more cautious in approaching
the second; and, when our party began to fire, they retreated under
shelter, leaving the trunk of the tree on the ground. At the same time,
they began apparently to weary of their ill success in front of the
house; for of course they could not be aware that they had killed any of
its defenders. We were thus hoping that they would at length withdraw,
when the whole country in front of us seemed to burst into flame.
"They have set the fields on fire!" exclaimed the planter.
"No, no," said Captain Helfrich; "worse than that--see there? Our watch
is out, depend on that. Not one of us will see another sun arise. So,
my men, let us sally out, and sell our lives dearly."
I looked through one of the loopholes to see what he meant. Emerging
from among the trees came hundreds of dusky forms, each man bearing in
his hand a torch which he flourished wildly above his head, dancing and
shrieking furiously.
I thought the captain's advice would be followed, but it was not. The
rest of the party were either too badly wounded or wanted nerve for the
exploit, and the slaves could not be depended on. All we did was to
guard the battered-in door, and to fire away as before.
On came the Maroons with their frantic gestures, and, to our horror, as
soon as they reached the door, they began to throw their torches in
among us. At first we tried to trample out the fire under foot, but
they soon outmastered our powers, and the furniture which composed our
barricade ignited, so did the walls of the house, and the negroes
shrieking and cheering, encouraged each other in throwing in fresh
torches to overwhelm us. Still, induced to fight on by my gallant
captain, we continued our exertions, when the attack on the back-door
was renewed. It gave way! Loud shouts burst from the Maroons. Their
revenge was about to be satiated.
"Now, my lads, follow me," shouted the captain; "we'll cut our way
through them. Stick to me, Jack, whatever you do!"
As he said this, he seized a cutlass which lay on the ground, and,
before the negroes had time to bring the torches round to that side, he
rushed through the back-door which they had just battered down. I clung
to his skirts as he told me, springing along so as not to impede him;
and so heartily did he lay about him with his weapon, cutting off by a
blow a head of one and an arm of another, that he speedily cleared
himself a wide passage. Several of our party endeavoured to follow him
with such weapons as they could seize, but, unable to make the progress
he did, they were either knocked down and captured or killed on the
spot. On we went towards the wood behind the house, but we had still
numberless enemies on every side of us,--enemies who seemed resolved not
to allow any of their intended victims to escape them. I did not think
it possible that any man could keep so many foes at bay as did the
captain. Just as I thought we should escape, his foot caught in a
snake-like creeping root which ran along the ground. Over he went
almost flat on his face; but he did not lose a grasp of his sword. He
tried to rise, and I endeavoured to pull him up. He was almost once
more on his feet, when another creeper caught his foot. Again he fell,
and this time our enemies were too quick for him. Rushing on him by
hundreds, they threw themselves on his body, almost suffocating him as
they held him down by main force. I was treated much in the same way,
when a huge negro caught me up by the back of the neck, and made as if
he was about to cut off my head. He did not do so, but held me tightly
by the collar while the rest secured the captain.
Flames were now bursting forth from every part of the planter's house,
and lighted up the surrounding landscape,--the tall plantains and cotton
and fig-trees, the tangled mass of creepers and their delicate tracery
as they hung from their lofty boughs, the fields of sugar-cane, the
cactus-bushes, and numberless other shrubs, and the grey sombre
mountain-tops beyond. From the way the blacks were running here and
there in dense masses, and the excited shouts I heard, I discovered that
they were in pursuit of some of the late defenders of the house, who,
when too late, were endeavouring to make their escape. Had they closely
followed the captain, they might all, perhaps, have cut their way
through the enemy.
The blacks seemed to consider the captain a perfect Samson, for they
lashed his arms and legs in every way they could think of; and then
making a sort of litter, they put him on it, and carried him along
towards the mountains. They treated me with less ceremony. My first
captors handed me over to four of them, who contented themselves with
merely binding my arms, and driving me before them at the points of
their weapons. Now and then one of them, more vicious than the rest,
would dig the point of his spear into me, to expedite my movement. I
could not help turning round each time with a face expressive, I
daresay, of no little anger or pain, at which his companions all
laughed, as if it were a very good joke. They seemed to do this to
recompense themselves for the loss of the booty they might have supposed
the rest were collecting from the burning house.
We had not proceeded far before we were joined by a large band, carrying
along, bound hand and foot, the survivors among the defenders of the
house. The planter himself, and four or five of his guests, were there,
and seven or eight slaves. From the disappearance of the rest of the
Maroons, I concluded that they had gone off to attack some other
residences.
On we went hour after hour, and when the sun rose, exposed to its
broiling heat, without stopping. The negroes ate as they went along,
but gave us nothing. It would have been a painful journey, at all
events; but when we expected to be tortured and put to death at the end
of it, I found it doubly grievous to be endured. I longed for a dagger,
and that I might find my arms free, to fight my way out from among them.
At last I thought that it would be the best way to appear totally
unconcerned when they hurt me, so that I became no longer a subject for
their merriment.
At length, about noon, we stopped to rest; and most of our guards, after
eating their meal of plantains, went to sleep. I thought that it would
be a good opportunity to try and get near the captain, to learn if he
thought that there was any chance of our escaping. Some few of the
Maroons, with arms in their hands, sat up watching us narrowly; I
therefore put on as unconcerned a manner as possible, and lay down on
the ground, pretending to go to sleep likewise. I in return watched our
guards, and one by one I saw sleep exerting its influence over them.
Their eyes rolled round in their heads like those of owls; their heads
nodded; then they looked up, trying to appear prodigiously wise; but it
would not do, and at length the whole camp was asleep. I considered
that now or never was my time for communicating with the captain.
Though I saw that no one near was likely to observe me, I thought that
some one at a distance might, and therefore that it would be necessary
to be cautious. Instead of getting up and walking, I rolled myself
gently over and over till I got close up to him.
"Captain," said I, very softly--"Captain Helfrich, sir. I am here.
What can I do?"
He was drowsy, and at first did not hear me; but soon rousing himself,
he turned his eyes towards me, for he could not move his head. "Ah,
Jack! is that you?" said he; "we are in a bad plight, lad."
"Do you think the savages are going to kill us, sir?" said I.
"No doubt about it, Jack, if we are not rescued, or don't manage to
escape," he answered. "I see little prospect of either event."
"But what can I do, sir?" I asked.
"Little enough, I am afraid, lad," he replied, in a subdued, calm tone.
"But stay, if you can manage to get your hands near my teeth, I will try
and bite the bands off them, and then you can loosen the lashings round
my limbs. We must wait for the night before we try to escape. We
should now be seen, and pursued immediately."
I did as he bid me, and by means of his strong teeth he was soon able to
free my hands from the ropes which had confined them. I also at length,
with much more difficulty, so far slackened all his bands and the
lashings which secured him to the litter, that he might with ease slip
his limbs completely out of them. Having accomplished this important
undertaking, I crawled back to the spot I had before occupied. Scarcely
had I got there, when a black lifted up his head and looked around. I
thought he had fixed his malignant eyes on me, and had probably been a
witness of what I had done. I lay trembling, expecting every moment to
have the wretch pounce upon me and bind my hands tighter than before.
However, after a little, he lay down again, and grunted away as before.
Soon after this another Maroon sat up and looked round, and then
another, and another; so that I was very glad I had not lost the
opportunity of which I had taken advantage. In another quarter of an
hour, the whole force was on the move. I looked anxiously to ascertain
whether they had discovered that the captain's bands had been loosened;
but without examining him, they lifted up the litter, and bore him on as
before. In consequence of this I walked on much more cheerily than I
had previously done, though I still got an occasional prick to hasten my
steps.
As we advanced, we got into still more hilly and wild country. All
signs of cultivation had ceased, and vegetation revelled in the most
extravagant profusion. Our chief difficulty was to avoid the prickly
pears, and the cacti, and the noose-forming creepers, which extended
across our path. We were in the advance party; the rest of the white
men followed at a distance from us, so that we had no prospect of
communicating with them.
The encouragement the captain had given me helped to raise my spirits,
and I endeavoured further to keep them up by whistling and singing
occasionally, but it was with a heavy heart that I did so. My great
consolation was all the time that my friend Peter Poplar was not in the
same predicament. He would have felt it more than any of us. He had
long been prepared for any misfortune which could happen to him at sea,
but he had not made up his mind to undergo hardships on shore as well.
At last I began to grow very weary of walking so far over such rough and
uneven ground, and I was glad to find that the blacks were approaching
their encampment or village. It consisted of a number of rude huts,
built on the summit of a high rock, with steep precipices on every side.
A narrow causeway led to it from another rock, which jutted out from
the side of the hill. It was a very strong place, for it extended too
far into the valley to be reached by musketry from the hill; and the
hill itself was too rugged to allow cannon to be dragged up it. The
rock appeared to have rude palisades and embankments, to serve as
fortifications, over a large portion of its upper surface. As I
examined it, I saw that our chance of escape from such a place, by any
method I could imagine, was small indeed. I do not know what the
captain thought about the matter, but he was not a man to be defeated by
difficulties, or to abandon hope while a spark of life remained.
As we went along the causeway, a number of women, and children, and dogs
came out to meet us, our welcome consisting in a most horrible
screaming, and crying, and barking, which, I suspect, as far as the
prisoners were concerned, was far from complimentary. Among them were
some dreadful old crones, who came stretching out their withered, black,
parchment arms, shrieking terrifically, and abusing the white men as the
cause of all the misery and hardships it had been their lot to endure.
Their accusations were, I believe, in most respects, too just.
Certainly white men had torn them or their ancestors from their native
land--white men had brought them across the sea in the crowded
slave-ship--white men had made them slaves, treated them with severity
and cruelty, and driven them to seek for freedom from tyranny among the
wild rocks and fastnesses where they were now collected. The other
prisoners seemed to feel, by their downcast, miserable looks, that they
were in the power of enemies whom they had justly made relentless, and
that they had no hope of escape. The old crones went up to them,
pointed their long bony fingers in their eyes, and hissed and shrieked
in their ears. What was said I could not understand, but they were
evidently using every insulting epithet they could imagine to exasperate
or terrify their victims.
I have often thought of that dreadful scene since. How must the acts of
those white men have risen up before them in their true colours--the
wrong they had inflicted on young and innocent girls--the lashes
bestowed on men of free and independent natures--the abuse showered on
their heads--the total neglect of the cultivation of all their moral
attributes! Oh, you Christian gentlemen, did it ever occur to you that
those slaves of yours were men of like passions as yourselves; that they
had minds capable of cultivation in a high degree, if not as high as
your own; that they had souls like your souls to be saved--souls which
must be summoned before the judgment-seat of Heaven, to be judged with
yours; and that you and they must there stand together before an
all-righteous and pure and just God, to receive the reward of the things
you have done in this life? Did it occur to you that, had you made
those people true Christians; that, had you taught them the holy
religion you profess--a religion of love and forgiveness--that they
would not now be taking pleasure in tormenting you, in exhibiting the
bitter vengeance which rankled in their souls!
I could not help thinking that some such accusing thoughts as these rose
to the consciences of the planter and his companions. I know that I
would not for worlds have changed places with him, though he was the
owner of rich fields and wealth long hoarded up, which he was on the
point of returning to England to enjoy.
Either on account of my youth, or because, as they saw, I was a sailor,
the rebels must have known that I could not have treated them cruelly,
and I was allowed to remain quiet. After the whole population had given
vent to their feelings by abusing the prisoners in every possible way,
they were thrust into a hut together, and a guard placed over them. The
captain and I were then put into another hut, and ordered not to stir on
pain of being shot.
"Not bery good chance of dat!" observed one of our captors, a
grey-headed old negro with a facetious countenance, looking at the
numerous lashings which confined our limbs.
"Better chance than you suppose, old fellow!" thought I to myself; but I
kept as melancholy and unconcerned a look as I could assume.
I concluded, that as the other prisoners were guarded so were we, and
that we should have very little chance of effecting our escape, unless
our guards fell asleep. The difficulties were, at all events, very
great. We should, in the first place, have either to scramble down the
sides of the rock, or to cross the narrow causeway, where one man as a
guard could instantly stop us. There was every probability that the
Maroons would place one there.
For some hours there was a great deal of noise in the village. The
blacks were rejoicing over their victory, and there was no chance of our
guards outside the hut being asleep. I waited, therefore, without
moving, till the sounds of revelry subsided, the tom-toms were no longer
beaten, the trumpets ceased braying, and the cymbals clashing. Then I
could hear the guards talking to each other outside. The few words I
could comprehend out of this jargon were not very consolatory. I made
out clearly that they proposed to shoot all their prisoners the next
day, and that, besides those already in camp, they expected a number
more from other estates which were to be attacked. There appeared only
a possibility that our lives might be prolonged another day, till all
their forces out on various expeditions were assembled. Little did
those at home, looking at the map of Jamaica, fancy that, in the very
centre of that beautiful island, there existed so numerous a band of
savages in open revolt against the authority of the king.
At first our guards were animated enough in their conversation; then
their voices grew thicker and thicker, and their tones more drowsy and
droning, till they could scarcely have understood what each other said.
At last one began to snore, then another, and the last speaker found
himself without auditors. I longed for him to hold his tongue, and to
go to sleep, but talk on he would, though he had no listeners. This, I
thought, was a good opportunity to allow me to speak to the captain, so
I crawled up to him. He was awake, waiting for me.
"What's to be done now, captain?" said I.
"We must wait the course of events, Jack," he answered. "I have been
turning over every plan in my mind which affords a chance of escape. If
we were to start off now, we should certainly be caught by some of these
black gentlemen; and if brought back, we should be put under stricter
watch and ward than hitherto. Something may occur during the night, or
perhaps to-morrow. At all events, I do not intend to die without a
fight for it. Try and go to sleep now, and get some rest; you'll want
it for what you may have to go through. Go, lie down, lad; my advice is
good. Don't fear."
I followed the captain's advice, though it was difficult to go to sleep,
and still more so not to fear. I did go to sleep, however, and never
slept more soundly in my life. I was awoke by feeling a hand placed on
my shoulder. It was that of the captain.
"Jack," he whispered, "be prepared to follow me if I summon you, but not
otherwise. If we can manage to get down the rock, or to cross the
causeway without being seen, we will go; but if not, we must wait
another opportunity. I do not feel as if either of us had come to the
end of the cable yet, but how we are to get free I don't know."
Saying this the captain gently lifted up some of the leaves which formed
the side of the hut, and crept out. His words and tone gave me great
encouragement. I wished that I could have gone with him, but I knew
that I must obey him.
O how anxiously I waited his return! Minute after minute passed away,
and still he did not come back. I began to fear that some harm had
happened to him--that he might have fallen over the precipice in the
dark, or have been captured. It never for a moment occurred to me that
he would desert me. An hour or more must have passed. Still he did not
appear. I began to consider whether I could not creep out to search for
him. I could have loosened from off me the ropes which bound my arms in
an instant; but I did not want to do so unless I was prepared to run
away altogether. I have heard of people's hair turning grey in a night;
mine would, I think, have done so with anxiety had I been older.
At last the side of the hut was lifted up, and the captain crawled in,
and placed himself on the litter on which he had been brought to the
place. "Quick, Jack," he whispered, "put the ropes round me as they
were before! Those blacks are more wide-awake rascals than I fancied.
I have been most of the time lying down not twenty yards from the hut,
afraid to move. I was creeping along when I saw a black fellow, with
musket on shoulder, emerge from behind a hut. He stood for some time
looking directly at me, as if he had seen me. He had not though; but
directly afterwards he began pacing up and down with the steadiness of
an old soldier. I crept on when his back was turned, but never could
move far enough before he was about again, and scrutinising all the
ground before him. The only direction in which I could move without the
certainty of being seen was towards this spot, so back again I have
come, with the hope still strong that we might find some other way of
escaping. Once or twice I thought of springing up and killing the man;
but in so doing I should very likely have roused others, and we should
have lost any future chance of escaping."
This result of the captain's expedition put me into low spirits again,
for I fully expected that the blacks would kill us all in the morning,
and my only surprise was that they had not so done already. I did not
say so to the captain, but he, having with his teeth secured the bands
round my arms again, I went and sat down where the blacks had first
placed me. I did not sleep soundly again, nor did he. I sat silent,
anxiously waiting for the morning.
I think I must have gone off into a doze, when, before daybreak, I was
roused up by a chorus of loud cries and shouts, which was soon answered
by every man, woman, and child in the village, who came rushing out of
their huts. It was to welcome, I found, a party of their comrades from
an attack on one of the neighbouring estates, in which they had come off
the victors, with numerous prisoners and much spoil. There began, as
before, a horrible din of tom-toms and other musical instruments, mixed
with the very far from musical voices of the old women who had been
tormenting us. This continued till the sun rose, and then there was a
comparative silence for an hour or so. I suppose the savages were
breakfasting. An this time we were left in suspense as to what was to
be our fate. We did not talk much, and, of course, did not allude to
any plan for escaping, lest we should be overheard.
At last several stout negroes entered the hut, and while some of them
lifted up the captain and carried him out, two seized me by the collar,
and dragged me after him. I thought that they were about to throw us
over the cliffs, or to hang us or shoot us forthwith. I could only
think of one way by which we had the slightest prospect of escaping. It
was that the government authorities might have heard of the outbreak,
and sent troops to attack the rebels. I did not know in those days that
those sort of gentlemen considered the art of tying up packages neatly
with red tape to be the most important of their official duties, and
that they were not apt to do anything in a hurry of so trifling
importance as attempting to save the lives of a few people!
We very soon reached a large concourse of people in an open space. On
one side of the ground there was a steep bank, on the top of which a
chair or throne was placed, whereon sat a tall fine-looking negro,
dressed somewhat in military style, while a number of other men sat
round him. On the level ground, on one side, was a group of some twenty
white men, among whom I recognised our companions in the defence of the
house. They had their hands bound, and were strongly guarded by armed
negroes. We were carried up and placed among them. Two or three other
prisoners arrived after us, and served to increase our unhappy group.
A sort of trial was then commenced, and several Maroons stepped forward,
accusing the whites of unheard-of cruelties, and especially of being
taken with arms in our hands against the authority of the true and
proper chief of the island. It is impossible to describe the absurd
language used, and the ceremonies gone through. It would have been a
complete burlesque had not the matter been somewhat too serious. As it
was, when one of the counsellors kicked another for interrupting him,
and the judge threw a calabash at their heads to call them to order, I
could not help bursting into a fit of laughter, which was soon quelled
when one of my guards gave me a progue with the tip of his spear, to
remind me where I was. I very nearly broke out again when the one who
was hit looked up and exclaimed, "What dat for, Pompey, you scoundrel
you?--What you tink me made of, hey?"
The judge took no notice of this address, but coolly went on summing up
the evidence placed before him. It was, I must own, clearly
condemnatory of most of the prisoners. On the oaths of the negro
witnesses, they were proved to have committed the most atrocious acts.
Some had hung blacks for no sufficient cause, or had shot them, or had
beaten them to death, or even burned them, or had tortured them with
every refinement of cruelty. Scarcely one present who had not given way
to passion, and barbarously ill-treated their slaves, or caused them to
submit to the greatest indignity. At length the judge rose from his
seat. He was a remarkably fine, tall man, and as he stretched out one
arm towards the prisoners, I could not help acknowledging that there was
much grace and dignity in his whole air and manner. To what had been
adduced by others, he added the weight of his own testimony.
"Me prince not long ago in me own country,--me would be king now,--me
carried off--beaten--kicked--wife torn away--me piccaninnis killed--me
made to work with whip--beat, beat, beat on shoulders--me run away--
nearly starve and die. Dose men do all dat, and much worse! Day
deserve to die! Shoot dem all--quick! De earth hate dem--no stay on it
longer!" I cannot pretend to say that these were the exact words used
by the chief, but they had a similar signification.
Immediately we were all seized, each prisoner being held by four blacks,
and marched along to an open space near the edge of the precipice. A
firing-party of twenty blacks, which had been told off, followed us,
their horrible grins showing the intense satisfaction they felt at being
our executioners. The judge or chief and all the rest of the people
accompanied us as spectators. The captain was carried along on his
litter, for the negroes had conceived a very just idea of his prowess,
and kept him, as they fancied, more strongly secured than was necessary
with regard to the rest. I stood near him waiting the result.
Things were now, indeed, looking very serious, and I could not see by
what possible means we should escape. Still, there was so much buoyancy
in my disposition, that, even then, I did not give up all hope. I am
afraid that I cannot say I was sustained by any higher principle. The
thought of what death was, did, however, come over me; and I tried to
pray, to prepare myself for the world into which I saw every probability
that I was about to enter. Still, though I wanted to pray, and wished
to go to heaven, I made but a very feeble attempt to do so. I had been
so long unaccustomed to pray, that I could not now find the thoughts or
the words required. My heart was not in a praying state. I had not
sought reconciliation with God. I did not know in what to trust,
through whom I could alone go into the presence of my Maker cleansed
from my sins, relieved from the weight of the sinful nature in which I
was born. Of all this I remained perfectly ignorant. I felt very
wretched, like a drowning wretch without a spar or a plank of which I
might catch hold.
I learned, however, an important lesson. Oh! do you, who read this
notice of my life, learn it from me. Do not suppose that the time is
_coming_ when you may begin to prepare for another world. The time is
_come now_ with all of you. From the period you entered this world,
from the moment the power of thought and speech was given you, the time
had arrived for you prepare for the world to come--that eternal world of
glory and joy unspeakable, or of misery, regret, and anguish. Remember
this--note it well--don't ever let it be out of your thoughts. You were
sent into this transient, fleeting world, for one sole object--that you
might prepare yourselves in it for the everlasting future. Not that you
might amuse yourselves--not that you might gain wealth, and honours, and
reputation--not that you might study hard, and obtain prizes at school
or college--that you might be the leader in all manly--exercises--that
you might speak well, or sing well, or draw well, or attain excellence
in science--or that you might become rich merchants, or judges, or
generals, or admirals, or ambassadors, or, indeed, attain the head of
any professions you may choose. These things are all lawful; it may be
your duty thus to rise, but it should not be your aim, it should not
alone be in your thoughts; you should have a far higher motive for
labouring hard, for employing your talents: that motive should be to
please God, to obey the laws and precepts of our Lord and Master. All
should be done from love to him. If you have not got that love for him,
pray for it, strive for it, look for guidance from above that you may
obtain it.
But, as I was saying, in those days I could not have comprehended what I
have now been speaking about. Finding my efforts to pray almost
unavailing, I did pray for deliverance, though I waited my fate in
sullen indifference, or rather, indeed, somewhat as if I was an
unconcerned spectator of what was taking place.
The chief lifted his arm on high as a sign that the execution was to
commence. The first person led forward was the planter whose house we
had attempted to defend. Oh! what scorn, and loathing, and defiance
there was depicted in his countenance! What triumph and hatred in that
of his executioners! Should such feelings find room in the bosom of a
dying Christian? I wot not. Again the fatal sign was given. The
firing-party discharged their muskets, and the planter fell a lifeless
corpse. I tried to turn my eyes away from the scene, but they were
rivetted on the spot.