some fish were being fried, he found they did smell most admirably
well, and he was greatly torn between his desire and his principle.
Finally he remembered that when the fish were opened he saw some smaller
fish in their stomachs, and he decided that if they could eat each other
he could eat them.
[Sidenote: _Most Noted Picture of B. Franklin Extant_]
_Protein Calories in 100 C Portions of Food_
In 100 C's Bread, 1 slice, (W.W. the highest) 12 to 16 C's P
In 100 C's Cooked Cereals, 1 sm. cup, (oatmeal
highest) 10 to 18 C's P
In 100 C's Rice, 1 small cup 10 C's P
In 100 C's Macaroni, 1 small cup 15 C's P
In 100 C's Whole milk, 5 oz. 20 C's P
In 100 C's Skim and buttermilk, 10 oz. 35 C's P
In 100 C's Cheese, 3 heaping tbsp. Cottage cheese 75 C's P
In 100 C's Eggs 1-1/3 36 C's P
In 100 C's Meat or fish, Very lean 2-3 oz. 50 to 75 C's P
In 100 C's Nuts, peanuts, almonds, walnuts. Peanuts
the highest 10 to 20 C's P
In 100 C's Beans 1/3 cup average 20 C's P
In 100 C's Green peas 3/4 cup average 28 C's P
In 100 C's Corn 1/3 cup average 12 C's P
In 100 C's Onions 3 to 4 medium 12 C's P
In 100 C's Potato 1 medium 12 C's P
In 100 C's Tomatoes 1 lb 15 C's P
In 100 C's Fresh fruits: berries, currants, rhubarb 10 C's P
Others 2 to 5 C's P
6
The Deluded Ones--My Thin Friends
[Sidenote: _What!_]
I am going to sandwich you in between the food calories and my fat
friends, and maybe you can absorb some of them. In the first chapter,
you remember, I said I was not particularly interested in you, but I
have changed my mind, and I will treat you tenderly and carefully. I
will have to preach a little bit first, but I don't mind that; I love to
reform people--Yes, you need reforming!
The first thing many of you have to do is to learn to accept the trivial
annoyances and small misfits of life as a matter of course, for to give
them attention _beyond their deserts_ is to wear the web of your life to
the warp.
Elbert Hubbard never said anything better than that. Have that
reproduced in motto form and put it on your bureau, and repeat it fifty
times daily.
[Sidenote: _Good Philosophy_]
Adopt my philosophy. If I have a trivial annoyance I analyze it
carefully. Was I to blame? Yes? All right, I am glad, because then I can
see that it will not happen again, so I stop worrying. If I am not to
blame, if I could not help it in the least, well, then I don't worry
about it, for that will not help it any, and I wasn't to blame! If it
bobs up in my mind again, I say: "Now, look here, you annoyance, I have
given you all the attention you deserve; avaunt, depart, get out!"
[Sidenote: _Simple_]
Now, how is this philosophy going to help you gain?
[Sidenote: _Lost Calories_]
When you worry needlessly, notice how tense your muscles are. You are
exercising them all of the time and using hundreds of calories of
energy. You raise your blood pressure, the internal secretory glands may
overact (re-read what I have said about these glands in the fat
people), and thus many more calories are used. The intestinal secretions
do not flow so freely, you have indigestion and do not assimilate your
food, and thus hundreds more calories are lost.
It certainly is impossible to gain unless your food is assimilated.
[Sidenote: _Develop Poise_]
So the first thing you have to learn is this mental control and to
relax. Remember that word, relax. After you are better nourished your
nervous system will not be on hair-trigger tension, and it will be
easier for you.
[Sidenote: _No Pain In Matter; No Matter In Pain Why Worry?_]
If you are ill in mind or body, remember that it is natural to be well,
and that within your body nature has stored the most wonderful forces
which are always tending towards the normal, or health, if not
obstructed or hindered.
Nature sometimes needs help to stimulate those forces, or to reinforce
them, or to remove obstructions. This is where the physician comes in.
But you yourself can aid nature the most by realizing that _nature is
health and it is normal to be well_. By so doing, all of your organs
function better and you are restored to normal more rapidly.
[Sidenote: _Sleep_]
[Sidenote: _Fresh Air_]
Second: It is very important to have enough sleep. Dr. Richard Cabot
says that probably resistance is lowered as much by lack of sufficient
sleep as by any other factor, and that all you can soak into your system
in twenty-four hours is not too much. Don't forget the fresh air.
You generally suffer from sleeplessness, I believe. The overweights are
always advised not to sleep too much. They will find while reducing that
they won't want to sleep so much, anyway. They will like to stay
awake--they feel so much happier.
[Sidenote: _Sometimes_]
Now, when you retire and try to sleep but cannot, try this--it works
with me. You know when you are passing over your mental images become
distorted and grotesque. I artificially induce that state. If I find
myself rehearsing about two hundred times, with appropriate gestures,
the keen, witty, logical remarks which I could have made in favor of my
pet legislation in the club discussion, but didn't, then I begin after
this fashion:
Pink elephants with green ribbons on their tails--red rhinoceri (is that
right, or should it be rhinoceroses?)--smiling peanuts--Woman's City
Club--Social Health Insurance--why didn't I say--I wish I had
said--(here get out, you annoyance!)--pink elephants--and so forth and
so forth.
[Sidenote: _Picture of Pink Elephant Adorned_]
[Sidenote: _Woe Is Me_]
Now I realize I have ruined myself. I am my own worst enemy. I have
exposed my whole life before those modern vivisectionists, the army of
amateur psycho-analysts.
[Sidenote: _Exercise_]
Third: Exercise. Great muscular exertion should be avoided, but the
setting-up exercises that I advise, if begun with moderation and
increased gradually, will undoubtedly stimulate the appetite and help
the body functions to be better performed.
[Sidenote: _Food_]
Fourth: Since food is the only source of body substance, you must
gradually train your stomach so that it can care for enough food to not
only supply your bodily energy, but to leave a little excess to be
stored as fat.
[Sidenote: _Your Stomach_]
If you have a small appetite--and many of you have--your stomach is
undoubtedly contracted, and you must gradually add to the amount you
have been eating, even though it may cause some distress, until you have
disciplined it so that it can handle what you need without distress. The
stomach is a muscular organ and can be trained and exercised somewhat as
other organs can. You will not have much appetite at first, but it will
develop. Sometimes a short fast for a day or two, drinking nothing but
pure water, seems to be beneficial in the beginning.
Do not drink much with your meals, unless the drink has food value by
the addition of lots of cream or sugar, or both.
[Sidenote: _Eat More_]
Decide how many calories you need for your activities, gradually add to
your dietary until you have reached that number, and then some more, and
you will gain as surely as the overweight individual will lose by doing
the opposite. It may take a long time, or you may get results very
rapidly, depending somewhat upon the individual characteristics.
Gradually increase your butter, cream, sugar, chocolate, and so forth,
as they are very high in food value.
Study the Key to the Calories and reckon your calories every day for a
while. You have already noticed that the foods that you like are low in
food value.
Here are some of the things you can take to add to your fuel:
[Sidenote: _Try Some of These_]
A glass of milk, hot or cold, taken between meals and before retiring,
will add about 500 calories.
Cream sauce on your vegetables will add to their value.
Cod liver oil, or olive oil, or cream, begun in small doses and
gradually increased.
One malted milk, made with milk, syrup, egg, ice cream, whipped cream,
and the malted milk, will add about 500 calories.
[Sidenote: _Learned Phraseology_]
You remember the painful time that I spoke of when there was so much
more of me than there ought to be? Well, the aforesaid concoction, made
with milk, syrup, egg, ice cream, whipped cream, and the malted milk,
was accessory before the fact, and also particeps criminis before the
law.
I absorbed this phraseology by being president of the Professional
Woman's Club, with its high-class women attorneys, ministers, dentists,
Ph.D.'s, and "Medical Trust" doctors.
[Sidenote: _Explanatory Note 1_]
"Medical Trust."--The American Medical Association (A.M.A.), a powerful
trust you can't get into unless you have a high preliminary education
and are a graduate of a high-class medical college. Eleven years'
training after the grammar school is their minimum standard now.
[Sidenote: _Explanatory Note 2_]
"League for Medical Ignorance."--The so-called "League for Medical
Freedom"; the opponent of the above mentioned trust. Their standard--any
old kind of a medical or religious training, two weeks or longer,
engrafted on anyone who has the money to pay for the course. No
education, no barrier; in fact, those of limited education make the
loudest boosters for the league. In justice, I must say that many
splendid, estimable persons belong to this league, not knowing these
facts.
[Sidenote: _Thorough Mastication_]
Fifth: See page 92 in my advice to the fat. It is as important for you
as for them. (It always makes me mildly furious when I look up a word
and am directed to seek some other locality. If it affects you that
way--seek page 60 in my advice to you.)
Also have your teeth X-rayed. Blind abscesses at the roots will cause
all sorts of aches and pains, as well as underweight.
[Sidenote: _Especially About Your Ailments_]
[Sidenote: _Organ Recitals Wednesday Evenings Only_]
Sixth: _Don't talk so much_. See if you can't leave out two-thirds of
the totally unimportant, uninteresting details. A tremendous amount of
energy is used in talking. This habit I would not say was confined to
you, by any means; it is another one of those pretty nearly universal
errors.
I will not give you a sample fattening menu, for it might be all out of
proportion to what you could handle, and it would upset you. Make out
your own menus, realizing that you must work gradually to the desired
amount.
I am taking it for granted that you are organically sound, that your
scientific, educated physician has said there is nothing the matter with
you, except perhaps your "nervous" disposition.
Have I not been nice to you? All right, relax and watch yourself get
into the class of the plumptically adequate.
And if you don't succeed after a faithful trial, take the milk-cure,
with its three to six weeks' absolute rest.
_Recapitulation_
1. Calm yourself.
2. Sleep.
3. Exercise.
4. Food.
5. Masticate
6. Delete the details.
7. Milk-cure.
_Review_
1. Repeat Elbert Hubbard's advice.
2. Give three reasons why worry can make
you thin.
3. Define "Medical Trust" and "League
for Medical Freedom."
4. Memorize paragraph about nature
5. Enumerate the things you can eat to
increase your calories.
7
Exercise
It is practically impossible to reduce weight through exercise alone,
unless one can do a tremendous amount of it. For the food that one eats
is usually enough to cover the energy lost by the exercise.
[Sidenote: _Light On Your Feet_]
However, exercise is a very important feature of any reducing program;
not because of the fat that is burned up in the exercise--and there is
some burned--but for the reason that it is necessary to keep one in a
healthy condition. The muscles, the internal organs, the bones, the
brain, are all benefited--in fact, the entire system.
[Sidenote: _Duty Dances_]
The exercises described hereinafter will help make you fat or thin, and
they will keep you supple, graceful, and light on your feet, so that
when I tell my husband that he must dance with you, Madam, he will not
say, "Nothing stirring," and when you, Professor, ask me to dance, I
will not curse the day I was born.
[Sidenote: _Warning_]
If you have not been accustomed to exercise, I warn you to take up only
one or two at a time and do each one a few times only. You will be
atrociously sore, and you will realize that you have muscles of which
you wotted not.
However, persist, if you are sure there are no organic reasons why you
shouldn't--such as a weak heart. (In case you are very much overweight,
I think it advisable to wait until you have reduced somewhat.)
[Sidenote: _Or Classic Dancing_]
It is splendid if you can belong to a gymnasium or to a physical culture
class, but ten to fifteen minutes' systematic daily exercise practiced
with vim, and each set followed by deep breathing, will do more good
than a gymnasium spasmodically attended. Brisk walking with a long
stride isn't so bad; in fact, if taken with a very long stride it will
twist 'most every organ you have in your body.
There are hundreds of exercises you can take. If you will notice little
rascal's illustrations you will find many good ones. Those illustrating
the beginning of this chapter are excellent.
If possible, it is best to take the exercises on arising in the morning,
but if you have a household to care for you may not be able to do so.
For those who have to do their own work, it may be well to do the work
first. You can do it in half the time if you plan it carefully and speed
up. (This advice is not for my thin friends; their speedometers register
too high already.) It does not matter so much when the exercises are
done as that they are done, and done every day for the rest of your
life, with the possible exception of two or three days a month.
Gallstones, permanent stiff joints, and other little things like that
will have a hard time forming.
_My Exercises_
[Sidenote: _They Reach Most of My Muscles_]
(The services of my noted artist I was able to obtain with great
difficulty, as he was engaged in the more important work of making a
swagger stick. I finally secured him by the promise of an ice cream cone
and twenty-three cents to go with his two cents so that he could buy a
Thrift Stamp. He is given due credit on the title page.)
[Sidenote: _Turn On Your Music_]
These exercises executed with vim, vigor, and vip--deep breathing
between each set--will take ten to fifteen minutes. Re-read my warning.
[Sidenote: _Little Movements with Meanings All Their Own_]
1. Feet together, arms outstretched, palms up, describe as large a
circle as possible. Fine for round shoulders and fat backs. Do slowly
and stretch fifteen times. Smile.
2. Arms outstretched, swing to right and to left as far as possible at
least 15 times each.
[Sidenote: _Important! Keep Facial Expression Throughout as per
Artist's Idea_]
3. Bend sideways, to right and left, alternately, as far as possible at
least 15 times each.
4. Revolve the body upon the hips from right to left at least 10 times,
and left to right the same.
5. Bend and touch the floor with your fingers, without bending your
knees, at least 15 times.
6. Knee-bending exercise, at least 15 times. This is hard at first.
7. Hand on door or wall, swing each leg back and forth at least 15
times. To the side 15 times. Turn head, raise arm, and tense both.
[Sidenote: _You Will Soon Be as Graceful as Annette_]
8. Step on chair with each foot at least 10 times. This is good for calf
and thigh muscles. After a while you won't look as though you needed a
derrick to get onto a street car.
9. Arms on sides of chair. Come down and touch abdomen. Fine for back
and abdomen. Fifteen times.
[Sidenote: _It Has Been Called to My Attention that Bone Back Brushes
Should Not Be Used by Some; i.e., There Is Danger in Affinities_]
10. Brush hair vigorously at least 200 double strokes all over the head,
N.S.E.W., using a brush in each hand.
[Sidenote: _Good Exercise_]
(Military brushes are best. If you can't purloin a set of your
husband's, two ordinary brushes will do.) Now shake out the loose
dandruff. This is one of the best exercises and must not be omitted, for
it accomplishes two purposes. It is a good arm and chest exercise, and
it gives a healthy scalp absolutely free from the dammdruff.
NOW
This for a few minutes, followed by this, the hot preferably at night.
8
At Last! How to Reduce
The title of this chapter indicates to whom it is addressed. All others
please refrain from reading, for it is strictly private and
confidential, and is intended only for those who need it.
You thin and you normal had better save it, though, for you may qualify
later. You are keeping right on reading now! I'm surprised. I wanted to
tell my fat friends that the first thing they have to do is to get
control of their will power, and now I can't do it.
Somehow, will power with a layer of fat on it gets feeble. Don't laugh,
you too thin! It gets worse than feeble, if there is no fat at all and
the nervous system is starved, it--well, I won't say what it does, for I
don't want to worry you.
[Sidenote: _Now That Order Is Restored I Will Resume_]
Will power, being feeble to a greater or less degree, must be bolstered
and aided a bit, to begin with, so--
_First Order_
[Sidenote: _Watch Your Weight!_]
[Sidenote: _Nature Always Counts_]
Tell loudly and frequently to all your friends that you realize that it
is unpatriotic to be fat while many thousands are starving, that you are
going to reduce to normal, and will be there in the allotted time. If
you belong to a club, round up the overweights and form a section. Call
it the "Watch Your Weight--Anti-Kaiser Class." Tax the members
sufficiently to buy a good, accurate pair of scales. Meet once a week to
weigh. Wear approximately the same weight clothes, and weigh at the same
time in relation to eating. Do this whether or not you belong to a club.
Once or twice a week is often enough to weigh. Scales vary, so try to
use the same ones.
Don't be discouraged if some day after you have dieted well you seem to
have gained. Nature sometimes seems fiendish that way. The excess weight
is probably due to a retention of water, and will not be permanent.
However, don't depend upon this too often! Usually, if you have gained
when you think you ought not to, it is because Nature has been counting
calories and you haven't.
Have the members listed on a weight chart conspicuously placed near the
scales, and record accurately the weight weekly.
+-------------------------------------------------------+
| WATCH YOUR WEIGHT ANTI-KAISER CLASS |
+-------------------------------------------------------+
| |Normal| Weight on |
+------------------+------+-----------------------------+
| Members' Names |Weight|Date|Date|Date|Date|Date|Date|
+------------------+------+----+----+----+----+----+----+
| | | | | | | | |
+------------------+------+----+----+----+----+----+----+
| | | | | | | | |
+------------------+------+----+----+----+----+----+----+
| | | | | | | | |
+------------------+------+----+----+----+----+----+----+
| | | | | | | | |
+------------------+------+----+----+----+----+----+----+
| | | | | | | | |
+------------------+------+----+----+----+----+----+----+
[Sidenote: _No Funds for the Red Cross_]
Those not reducing at least one pound per week to be fined soundly and
the proceeds given to the Red Cross. That won't be a good way to raise
funds for the chapter, though, for there will be no fines after the
first week or so, when the members find what their maintenance diet
should be and are consuming less than that.
I will explain this maintenance diet business. You shameless thin ones,
call back your more polite comrades--this is important for all of you.
(I shall also tell you more fully about this in the last chapter.)
[Sidenote: _Maintenance Diet_]
The maintenance diet is one which maintains you at your present weight,
_i.e.,_ you are not gaining or losing. You may be over or under normal,
but are staying there. The intake equals the outgo.
When you eat less than your maintenance diet, you are going to supply
the deficiency with your own fat.
So commit yourself on your honor that you are going to reduce or
perish--no joke; you can't tell how near you are to it if you are much
overweight. There are two general stages of fatty heart. In the first
stage the heart is surrounded by a blanket of fat, and it also
penetrates between the muscles. Later, if it goes on too long, the heart
muscle itself degenerates to fat, then--
[Sidenote: _Good-night!_]
Shakespeare warns you to make thy body less, hence thy grace more; leave
gormandizing, and know that the grave doth gape for thee thrice wider
than for other men.
_Second Order_
[Sidenote: _Shrink Your Stomach_]
Your stomach, long used to an excess of food for your needs--it may not
be a large amount--but still, I repeat, being used to an excess of food
for your needs, your stomach must be disciplined. It is undoubtedly
distended, as it should not be.
[Sidenote: _Shrink Your Stomach_]
A good way to show it that you are master is to fast for at least one
day--drink nothing but pure water, hot or cold, as you prefer. It will
protest vociferously and will tell all its friends, the different organs
of your body, how you are persecuting it, and they will join the league
against you and decide they will oust you from your position, and you
will feel like--but don't mind it; it will soon know that you mean
business, and, much chastened and considerably contracted, will take the
next day a very small amount of food very gratefully.
[Sidenote: _Shrink Your Stomach_]
If you do not want to be so severe with it you can allow it five glasses
of hot or cold skim milk or buttermilk, one every three hours, say, at
10,1,4,7, and 10 o'clock. One glass is 80 calories, five equal 400
calories, which is not so much.
[Sidenote: _Or Mashed_]
The baked potato and glass of skim milk diet, three times a day one day
a week, which has its devotees, depends upon its low caloric content for
its results. There is no magic in it, no yeast business which reduces.
This is most wholesome, however, for potatoes contain a large amount of
the potassium salts, which tend to counteract the effects of uric acid,
and thus are good for the gouty type.
[Sidenote: _Mono-Diets_]
The beefsteak, the milk, and the fruit diets are also good. One can gain
as well as lose on the milk diet, all depending on number of calories
consumed, and it is an excellent method for both. The beefsteak diet is
beneficial for a short time, but too much protein over a long period has
been shown to be harmful. An exclusive fruit diet is excellent for
reduction.
Low calorie days can be repeated once a week if necessary in order to
keep the stomach in good order. Fruit juice, one-quarter glass, or fresh
fruit, can be substituted for the skim milk, and you may prefer it.
[Sidenote: _But You Do Not Have To_]
You could keep on this for some time, or fast for some time, and
probably be much benefited. I fasted five days once, or rather
fruit-juiced five days. I lost about ten pounds, I think, and my heart,
which had begun to carry on, was relieved.
[Sidenote: _Sob Stuff_]
It was during that period of which I have spoken, and of which I am
ashamed; for I had my M.D. degree then and should have known better. But
you know we have good authority that it is easier to teach twenty what
were good to be done than to be one of twenty to follow our own
teaching.
_Third Order_
[Sidenote: _You Are Down to Business_]
[Sidenote: _And Maybe Diabetes_]
Now you will have to reckon on the amount of food or number of calories
you need per day. Review the rule I have given. You find for your age
and _normal weight_ that you will need, let us say for example, 2200
calories. You have probably been consuming twice that amount and either
storing it away as fat or as disease. (It is surprising how small an
excess will gradually add up pounds of fat. For instance, three pats of
butter or three medium chocolate creams a day, if over the maintenance
limit, would add approximately _27 pounds a year_ to your weight!)
Now you are to reduce your maintenance diet--the 2200 calories we are
taking for example--to 1200 calories--quite a comfortable lot, you will
find.
You will be surprised how much 1200 calories will be if the food is
judiciously selected.
[Sidenote: _After All, Hunger Is Much More Agreeable Than Apoplexy_]