_He addresses his mistress, whom he has detected acting falsely towards
him._
|Away with thee, quivered Cupid: no passion is of a value so great, that
it should so often be my extreme wish to die. It is my wish to die,
as oft as I call to mind your guilt. Fair one, born, alas! to be a
never-ceasing cause of trouble! It is no tablets rubbed out [339]
that discover your doings; no presents stealthily sent reveal your
criminality. Oh! would that I might so accuse you, that, _after all_,
I could not convict you! Ah wretched me! _and_ why is my case so stare?
Happy _the man_ who boldly dares to defend the object which he loves;
to whom his mistress is able to say, "I have done nothing _wrong_."
Hard-hearted _is he_, and too much does he encourage his own grief, by
whom a blood-stained victory is sought in the conviction of the accused.
To my sorrow, in my sober moments, with the wine on table, [342] I
myself was witness of your criminality, when you thought I was asleep.
I saw you _both_ uttering many an expression by moving your eyebrows;
[343] in your nods there was a considerable amount of language. Your
eyes were not silent, [344] the table, too, traced over with wine;
[345] nor was the language of the fingers wanting; I understood your
discourse, [346] which treated of that which it did not appear to do;
the words, too, preconcerted to stand for certain meanings. And now, the
tables removed, many a guest had gone away; a couple of youths _only_
were _there_ dead drunk. But then I saw you _both_ giving wanton kisses;
I am sure that there was billing enough on your part; such, _in fact_,
as no sister gives to a brother of correct conduct, but _rather such_
as some voluptuous mistress gives to the eager lover; such as we may
suppose that Phoebus did not give to Diana, but that Venus many a time
save to her own _dear_ Mars.
"What are you doing?" I cried out; "whither are you taking those
transports that belong to me? On what belongs to myself, I will lay the
hand of a master, [347] These _delights_ must be in common with you and
me, _and_ with me and you; _but_ why does any third person take a share
in them?"
This did I say; and what, _besides_, sorrow prompted my tongue to say;
but the red blush of shame rose on her conscious features; just as the
sky, streaked by the wife of Tithonus, is tinted with red, or the
maiden when beheld by her new-made husband; [348] just as the roses are
beauteous when mingled among their _encircling_ lilies; or when the
Moon is suffering from the enchantment of her steeds; [349] or the Assyrian
ivory [350] which the Mæonian woman has stained, [351] that from length
of time it may not turn yellow. That complexion _of hers_ was extremely
like to these, or to some one of these; and, as it happened, she never
was more beauteous _than then_. She looked towards the ground; to look
upon the ground, added a charm; sad were her features, in her sorrow was
she graceful. I had been tempted to tear her locks just as they were,
(and nicely dressed they were) and to make an attack upon her tender
cheeks.
When I looked on her face, my strong arms fell powerless; by arms of
her own was my mistress defended. I, who the moment before had been so
savage, _now_, as a suppliant and of my own accord, entreated that she
would give me kisses not inferior _to those given-to my rival_. She
smiled, and with heartiness she gave me her best _kisses_; such as might
have snatched his three-forked bolts from Jove. To my misery I am _now_
tormented, lest that other person received them in equal perfection; and
I hope that those were not of this quality. [352]
Those _kisses,_ too, were far better than those which I taught her; and
she seemed to have learned something new. That they were too delightful,
is a bad sign; that so lovingly were your lips joined to mine, _and_
mine to yours. And yet, it is not at this alone that I am grieved; I do
not only complain that kisses were given; although I do complain as well
that they were given; such could never have been taught but on a closer
acquaintanceship. I know not who is the master that has received a
remuneration so ample.