Don Diego Hurtado de Mendoza's career was hardly of a kind
that would be ordinarily associated with a lively romance of
vagabondage. A grandee of high birth, an ambassador of the
Emperor Charles V., an accomplished soldier and a learned
historian--such was the creator of the hungry rogue Lazarillo,
and the founder of the "picaresque" school of fiction, or the
romance of roguery, which is not yet extinct. Don Diego de
Mendoza, born early in 1503, was educated at the University of
Salamanca, and spent most of the rest of his days in courts
and camps. He died at Madrid in April 1575. Although written
during Mendoza's college days, "Lazarillo de Tormes" did not
appear until 1533, when it was published anonymously at
Antwerp. During the following year it was reprinted at Bruges,
but it fell under the ban of the Inquisition, and subsequent
editions were considerably expurgated. Such was its popularity
that it was continued by inferior authors after Mendoza's
death.
_I.--The Blind Man_
You must know, in the first place, that my name is Lazarillo de Tormes,
and that I am the son of Thomas Gonzalez and Antonia Perez, natives of
Tejares, a village of Salamanca. My father was employed to superintend
the operations of a water-mill on the river Tormes, from which I took my
surname; and I had only reached my ninth year, when he was taken into
custody for administering certain copious, but injudicious, bleedings to
the sacks of customers. Being thrown out of employment by this disaster,
he joined an armament then preparing against the Moors in the quality of
mule-driver to a gentleman; and in that expedition he, along with his
master, finished his life and services together.
My widowed mother hired a small place in the city of Salamanca, and
opened an eating-house for the accommodation of students. It happened
some time afterwards that a blind man came to lodge at the house, and
thinking that I should do very well to lead him about, asked my mother
to part with me. He promised to receive me not as a servant, but as a
son; and thus I left Salamanca with my blind and aged master. He was as
keen as an eagle in his own calling. He knew prayers suitable for all
occasions, and could repeat them with a devout and humble countenance;
he could prognosticate; and with respect to the medicinal art, he would
tell you that Galen was an ignoramus compared with him. By these means
his profits were very considerable.
With all this, however, I am sorry to say that I never met with so
avaricious and so wicked an old curmudgeon; he allowed me almost daily
to die of hunger, without troubling himself about my necessities; and,
to say the truth, if I had not helped myself by means of a ready wit I
should have closed my account from sheer starvation.
The old man was accustomed to carry his food in a sort of linen
knapsack, secured at the mouth by a padlock; and in adding to or taking
from his store he used such vigilance that it was almost impossible to
cheat him of a single morsel. By means of a small rent, however, which I
slyly effected in one of the seams of the bag, I helped myself to the
choicest pieces.
Whenever we ate, he kept a jar of wine near him; and I adopted the
practice of bestowing on it sundry loving though stolen embraces. The
fervency of my attachment was soon discovered in the deficiency of the
wine, and the old man tied the jar to himself by the handle. I now
procured a large straw, which I dipped into the mouth of the jar; but
the old traitor must have heard me drink with it, for he placed the jar
between his knees, keeping the mouth closed with his hand.
I then bored a small hole in the bottom of the jar, and closed it very
delicately with wax. As the poor old man sat over the fire, with the jar
between his knees, the heat melted the wax, and I, placing my mouth
underneath, received the whole contents of the jar. The old boy was so
enraged and surprised that he thought the devil himself had been at
work. But he discovered the hole; and when next day I placed myself
under the jar, he brought the jar down with full force on my mouth.
Nearly all my teeth were broken, and my face was horribly cut with the
fragments of the broken vessel.
After this, he continually ill-treated me; on the slightest occasion he
would flog me without mercy. If any humane person interfered, he
immediately recounted the history of the jar; they would laugh, and say,
"Thrash him well, good man; he deserves it richly!" I determined to
revenge myself on the old tyrant, and seized an opportunity on a rainy
day when a stream was flowing down the street. I took him to a point
where the stream passed a stone pillar, told him that the water was
narrowest there, and invited him to jump. He jumped accordingly, and
gave his poor old pate such a smash against the pillar that he fell
senseless. I took to my heels as swiftly as possible; nor did I even
trouble to inquire what became of him.
_II.--The Priest_
The next day I went to a place called Maqueda, where, as it were in
punishment for my evil deeds, I fell in with a certain priest. I
accosted him for alms, when he inquired whether I knew how to assist at
mass. I answered that I did, which was true, for the blind man had
taught me. The priest, therefore, engaged me on the spot.
There is an old proverb which speaks of getting out of the frying-pan
into the fire, which was indeed my unhappy case in this change of
masters. This priest was, without exception, the most niggardly of all
miserable devils I have ever met with. He had a large old chest, the key
of which he always carried about him; and when the charity bread came
from the church, he would with his own hands deposit it in the chest and
turn the key. The only other eatable we had was a string of onions, of
which every fourth day I was allowed _one_. Five farthings' worth of
meat was his allowance for dinner and supper. It is true he divided the
broth with me; but my share of the meat I might have put in my eye
instead of my mouth, and have been none the worse for it; but sometimes,
by good luck, I got a little morsel of bread.
At the end of three weeks I was so exhausted with sheer hunger that I
could hardly stand on my legs. One day, when my miserable, covetous
thief of a master had gone out, an angel, in the likeness of a tinker,
knocked at the door, and inquired whether I had anything to mend.
Suddenly a light flashed upon me. "I have lost the key of this chest,"
said I, "can you fit it?" He drew forth a bunch of keys, fitted it, and
lo! the lid of the chest arose. "I have no money," I said to my
preserver, "but give me the key and help yourself." He helped himself,
and so, when he had gone, did I.
But it was not predestined for me that such good luck should continue
long; for on the third day I beheld the priest turning and counting the
loaves over and over again. At last he said, "If I were not assured of
the security of this chest, I should say that somebody had stolen my
bread; but from this day I shall count the loaves; there remain now
exactly nine and a piece."
"May nine curses light upon you, you miserable beggar!" said I to
myself. The utmost I dared do, for some days, was to nibble here and
there a morsel of the crust. At last it occurred to me that the chest
was old and in parts broken. Might it not be supposed that rats had made
an entrance? I therefore picked one loaf after another until I made up a
tolerable supply of crumbs, which I ate like so many sugar-plums.
The priest, when he returned, beheld the havoc with dismay.
"Confound the rats!" quoth he. "There is no keeping anything from them."
I fared well at dinner, for he pared off all the places which he
supposed the rats had nibbled at, and gave them to me, saying, "There,
eat that; rats are very clean animals." But I received another shock
when I beheld my tormentor nailing pieces of wood over all the holes in
the chest. All I could do was to scrape other holes with an old knife;
and so it went on until the priest set a trap for the rats, baiting it
with bits of cheese that he begged from his neighbours. I did not nibble
my bread with less relish because I added thereto the bait from the
rat-trap. The priest, almost beside himself with astonishment at finding
the bread nibbled, the bait gone, and no rat in the trap, consulted his
neighbours, who suggested, to his great alarm, that the thief must be a
snake.
For security, I kept my precious key in my mouth--which I could do
without inconvenience, as I had been in the habit of carrying in my
mouth the coins I had stolen from my former blind master. But one night,
when I was fast asleep, it was decreed by an evil destiny that the key
should be placed in such a position in my mouth that my breath caused a
loud whistling noise. My master concluded that this must be the hissing
of the snake; he arose and stole with a club in his hand towards the
place whence the sound proceeded; then, lifting the club, he discharged
with all his force a blow on my unfortunate head. When he had fetched a
light, he found me moaning, with the tell-tale key protruding from my
mouth.
"Thank God," he exclaimed, "that the rats and snakes which have so long
devoured my substance are at last discovered!"
As soon as my wounds were healed, he turned me out of his door as if I
had been in league with the evil one.
_III.--The Poor Gentleman_
By the assistance of some kind people I made my way to Toledo, where I
sought my living by begging from door to door. But one day I encountered
a certain esquire; he was well dressed, and walked with an air of ease
and consequence. "Are you seeking a master, my boy?" he said. I replied
that I was, and he bade me follow him.
He led me through a dark and dismal entry to a house absolutely bare of
furniture; and the hopes I had formed when he engaged me were further
depressed when he told me that he had already breakfasted, and that it
was not his custom to eat again till the evening. Disconsolately I began
to eat some crusts that I had about me.
"Come here, boy," said my master. "What are you eating?" I showed him
the bread. "Upon my life, but this seems exceedingly nice bread," he
exclaimed; and seizing the largest piece, he attacked it fiercely.
When night came on, and I was expecting supper, my master said, "The
market is distant, and the city abounds with rogues; we had better pass
the night as we can, and to-morrow we will fare better. Nothing will
ensure length of life so much as eating little."
"Then truly," said I to myself in despair, "I shall never die."
I spent the night miserably on a hard cane bedstead without a mattress.
In the morning my master arose, washed his hands and face, dried them on
his garments for want of a towel, and then carefully dressed himself,
with my assistance. Having girded on his sword, he went forth to hear
mass, without saying a word about breakfast. "Who would believe," I
said, observing his erect bearing and air of gentility as he walked up
the street, "that such a fine gentleman had passed the whole of
yesterday without any other food than a morsel of bread? How many are
there in this world who voluntarily suffer more for their false idea of
honour, than they would undergo for their hopes of an hereafter!"
The day advanced, and my master did not return; my hopes of dinner
disappeared like those of breakfast. In desperation, I went out begging,
and such was the talent I had acquired in this art that I came back with
four pounds of bread, a piece of cow-heel, and some tripe. I found my
master at home, and he did not disapprove of what I had done.
"It is much better," said he, "to ask, for the love of God, than to
steal. I only charge you on no account to say you live with me."
When I sat down to supper, my poor master eyed me so longingly that I
resolved to invite him to partake of my repast; yet I wondered whether
he would take it amiss if I did so. But my wishes towards him were soon
gratified.
"Ah!" said he; "cow-heel is delicious. There is nothing I am more fond
of."
"Then taste it, sir," said I, "and try whether this is as good as you
have eaten." Presently he was grinding the food as ravenously as a
greyhound.
In this manner we passed eight or ten days, my master taking the air
every day with the most perfect ease of a man of fashion, and returning
home to feast on the contributions of the charitable, levied by poor
Lazaro. Whereas my former masters declined to feed me, this one expected
that I should maintain him. But I was much more sorry for him than angry
at him, and with all his poverty I found greater satisfaction in serving
him than either of the others.
At length a man came to demand the rent, which of course my master could
not pay. He answered the man very courteously that he was going out to
change a piece of gold. But this time he made his exit for good. Next
morning the man came to seize my master's effects, and on finding there
were none, he had me arrested. But I was soon found to be innocent, and
released. Thus did I lose my third and poorest master.
_IV.--The Dealer in Indulgences_
My fourth master was a holy friar, eager in the pursuit of every kind of
secular business and amusement. He kept me so incessantly on the trot
that I could not endure it, so I took my leave of him without asking it.
The next master that fortune threw in my way was a bulero, or dealer in
papal indulgences, one of the cleverest and most impudent rogues that I
have ever seen. He practised all manner of deceit, and resorted to the
most subtle inventions to gain his end. A regular account of his
artifices would fill a volume; but I will only recount a little
manoeuvre which will give you some idea of his genius and invention.
He had preached two or three days at a place near Toledo, but found his
indulgences go off but slowly. Being at his wits' end what to do, he
invited the people to the church next morning to take his farewell.
After supper at the inn that evening, he and the alguazil quarrelled and
began to revile each other, my master calling the alguazil a thief, the
alguazil declaring that the bulero was an impostor, and that his
indulgences were forged. Peace was not restored until the alguazil had
been taken away to another inn.
Next morning, during my master's farewell sermon, the alguazil entered
the church and publicly repeated his charge, that the indulgences were
forged. Whereupon my devout master threw himself on his knees in the
pulpit, and exclaimed: "O Lord, Thou knowest how cruelly I am
calumniated! I pray Thee, therefore, to show by a miracle the whole
truth as to this matter. If I deal in iniquity may this pulpit sink with
me seven fathoms below the earth, but if what is said be false let the
author of the calumny be punished, so that all present may be convinced
of his malice."
Hardly had he finished his prayer when the alguazil fell down, foaming
at the mouth, and rolled about in the utmost apparent agony. At this
wonderful interposition of Providence, there was a general clamour in
the church, and some terrified people implored my sainted master, who
was kneeling in the pulpit, with his eyes towards heaven, to intercede
for the poor wretch. He replied that no favour should be sought for one
whom God had chastised, but that as we were bidden to return good for
evil, he would try to obtain pardon for the unhappy man. Desiring the
congregation to pray for the sinner, he commanded the holy bull to be
placed on the alguazil's head. Gradually the sufferer was restored, and
fell at the holy commissary's feet, imploring his pardon, which was
granted with benevolent words of comfort.
Great now was the demand for indulgences; people came flocking from all
parts, so that no sermons were necessary in the church to convince them
of the benefits likely to result to the purchasers. I must confess that
I was deceived at the time, but hearing the merriment which it afforded
to the holy commissary and the alguazil, I began to suspect that it
originated in the fertile brain of my master, and from that time I
ceased to be a child of grace. For, I argued, "If I, being an
eye-witness to such an imposition, could almost believe it, how many
more, amongst this poor innocent people, must be imposed on by these
robbers?"
On leaving the bulero I entered the service of a chaplain, which was the
first step I had yet made towards attaining an easy life, for I had here
a mouthful at will. Having bidden the chaplain farewell, I attached
myself to an alguazil. But I did not long continue in the train of
justice; it pleased Heaven to enlighten and put me into a much better
way, for certain gentlemen procured me an office under government. This
I yet keep, and flourish in it, with the permission of God and every
good customer. In fact, my charge is that of making public proclamation
of the wine which is sold at auctions, etc.; of bearing those company
who suffer persecution for justice's sake, and publishing to the world,
with a loud voice, their faults.
About this time the arch-priest of Salvador, to whom I was introduced,
and who was under obligations to me for crying his wine, showed his
sense of it by uniting me with one of his own domestics. About this time
I was at the top of the ladder, and enjoyed all kinds of good fortune.
This happy state I conceived would continue; but fortune soon began to
show another aspect, and a fresh series of miseries and difficulties
followed her altered looks--troubles which it would be too cruel a task
for me to have to recount.
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