WOMEN--II
'The husband is lord of the wife.'
_Laws of Manu._
Marriage is not a religious ceremony among the Burmese. Religion has no
part in it at all; as religion has refrained from interfering with
Government, so does it in the relations of man and wife. Marriage is
purely a worldly business, like entering into partnership; and religion,
the Buddhist religion, has nothing to do with such things. Those who
accept the teachings of the great teacher in all their fulness do not
marry.
Indeed, marriage is not a ceremony at all. It is strange to find that
the Burmese have actually no necessary ceremonial. The Laws of Manu,
which are the laws governing all such matters, make no mention of any
marriage ceremony; it is, in fact, a status. Just as two men may go into
partnership in business without executing any deed, so a man and a woman
may enter into the marriage state without undergoing any form. Amongst
the richer Burmese there is, however, sometimes a ceremony.
Friends are called to the wedding, and a ribbon is stretched round the
couple, and then their hands are clasped; they also eat out of the same
dish. All this is very pretty, but not at all necessary.
It is, indeed, not a settled point in law what constitutes a marriage,
but there are certain things that will render it void. For instance, no
marriage can be a marriage without the consent of the girl's parents if
she be under age, and there are certain other conditions which must be
fulfilled.
But although there be this doubt about the actual ceremony of marriage,
there is none at all about the status. There is no confusion between a
woman who is married and a woman who is not. The condition of marriage
is well known, and it brings the parties under the laws that pertain to
husband and wife. A woman not married does not, of course, obtain these
privileges; there is a very strict line between the two.
Amongst the poorer people a marriage is frequently kept secret for
several days. The great pomp and ceremony which with us, and
occasionally with a few rich Burmese, consecrate a man and a woman to
each other for life, are absent at the greater number of Burmese
marriages; and the reason they tell me is that the girl is shy. She does
not like to be stared at, and wondered at, as a maiden about to be a
wife; it troubles her that the affairs of her heart, her love, her
marriage, should be so public. The young men come at night and throw
stones upon the house roof, and demand presents from the bridegroom. He
does not mind giving the presents; but he, too, does not like the
publicity. And so marriage, which is with most people a ceremony
performed in full daylight with all accessories of display, is with the
Burmese generally a secret. Two or three friends, perhaps, will be
called quietly to the house, and the man and woman will eat together,
and thus become husband and wife. Then they will separate again, and not
for several days, or even weeks perhaps, will it be known that they are
married; for it is seldom that they can set up house for themselves just
at once. Often they will marry and live apart for a time with their
parents. Sometimes they will go and live together with the man's
parents, but more usually with the girl's mother. Then after a time,
when they have by their exertions made a little money, they build a
house and go to live there; but sometimes they will live on with the
girl's parents for years.
A girl does not change her name when she marries, nor does she wear any
sign of marriage, such as a ring. Her name is always the same, and there
is nothing to a stranger to denote whether she be married or not, or
whose wife she is; and she keeps her property as her own. Marriage does
not confer upon the husband any power over his wife's property, either
what she brings with her, what she earns, or what she inherits
subsequently; it all remains her own, as does his remain his own. But
usually property acquired after marriage is held jointly. You will
inquire, for instance, who is the owner of this garden, and be told
Maung Han, Ma Shwe, the former being the husband's name and the latter
the wife's. Both names are used very frequently in business and in legal
proceedings, and indeed it is usual for both husband and wife to sign
all deeds they may have occasion to execute. Nothing more free than a
woman's position in the marriage state can be imagined. By law she is
absolutely the mistress of her own property and her own self; and if it
usually happens that the husband is the head of the house, that is
because his nature gives him that position, not any law.
With us marriage means to a girl an utter breaking of her old ties, the
beginning of a new life, of new duties, of new responsibilities. She
goes out into a new and unknown world, full of strange facts, leaving
one dependence for another, the shelter of a father for the shelter of a
husband. She has even lost her own name, and becomes known but as the
mistress of her husband; her soul is merged in his. But in Burma it is
not so at all. She is still herself, still mistress of herself, an equal
partner for life.
I have said that the Burmese have no ideals, and this is true; but in
the Laws of Manu there are laid down some of the requisite qualities for
a perfect wife. There are seven kinds of wife, say the Laws of Manu: a
wife like a thief, like an enemy, like a master, like a friend, like a
sister, like a mother, like a slave. The last four of these are good,
but the last is the best, and these are some of her qualities:
'She should fan and soothe her master to sleep, and sit by him near the
bed on which he lies. She will fear and watch lest anything should
disturb him. Every noise will be a terror to her; the hum of a mosquito
as the blast of a trumpet; the fall of a leaf without will sound as loud
as thunder. Even she will guard her breath as it passes her lips to and
fro, lest she awaken him whom she fears.
'And she will remember that when he awakens he will have certain wants.
She will be anxious that the bath be to his custom, that his clothes are
as he wishes, that his food is tasteful to him. Always she will have
before her the fear of his anger.'
It must be remembered that the Laws of Manu are of Indian origin, and
are not totally accepted by the Burmese. I fear a Burmese girl would
laugh at this ideal of a wife. She would say that if a wife were always
afraid of her husband's wrath, she and he, too, must be poor things. A
household is ruled by love and reverence, not by fear. A girl has no
idea when she marries that she is going to be her husband's slave, but a
free woman, yielding to him in those things in which he has most
strength, and taking her own way in those things that pertain to a
woman. She has a very keen idea of what things she can do best, and what
things she should leave to her husband. Long experience has taught her
that there are many things she should not interfere with; and she knows
it is experience that has proved it, and not any command. She knows that
the reason women are not supposed to interfere in public affairs is
because their minds and bodies are not fitted for them. Therefore she
accepts this, in the same way as she accepts physical inferiority, as a
fact against which it is useless and silly to declaim, knowing that it
is not men who keep her out, but her own unfitness. Moreover, she knows
that it is made good to her in other ways, and thus the balance is
redressed. You see, she knows her own strength and her own weakness. Can
there be a more valuable knowledge for anyone than this?
In many ways she will act for her husband with vigour and address, and
she is not afraid of appearing in his name or her own in law courts, for
instance, or in transacting certain kinds of business. She knows that
she can do certain business as well as or better than her husband, and
she does it. There is nothing more remarkable than the way in which she
makes a division of these matters in which she can act for herself, and
those in which, if she act at all, it is for her husband.
Thus, as I have said, she will, as regards her own property or her own
business, act freely in her own name, and will also frequently act for
her husband too. They will both sign deeds, borrow money on joint
security, lend money repayable to them jointly. But in public affairs
she will never allow her name to appear at all. Not that she does not
take a keen interest in such things. She lives in no world apart; all
that affects her husband interests her as keenly as it does him. She
lives in a world of men and women, and her knowledge of public affairs,
and her desire and powers of influencing them, is great. But she learnt
long ago that her best way is to act through and by her husband, and
that his strength and his name are her bucklers in the fight. Thus women
are never openly concerned in any political matters. How strong their
feeling is can better be illustrated by a story than in any other way.
In 1889 I was stationed far away on the north-west frontier of Burma, in
charge of some four thousand square miles of territory which had been
newly incorporated. I went up there with the first column that ever
penetrated that country, and I remained there when, after the partial
pacification of the district, the main body of the troops were
withdrawn. It was a fairly exciting place to live in. To say nothing of
the fever which swept down men in batches, and the trans-frontier people
who were always peeping over to watch a good opportunity for a raid, my
own charge simply swarmed with armed men, who seemed to rise out of the
very ground--so hard was it to follow their movements--attack anywhere
they saw fit, and disappear as suddenly. There was, of course, a
considerable force of troops and police to suppress these insurgents,
but the whole country was so roadless, so unexplored, such a tangled
labyrinth of hill and forest, dotted with sparse villages, that it was
often quite impossible to trace the bands who committed these attacks;
and to the sick and weary pursuers it sometimes seemed as if we should
never restore peace to the country.
The villages were arranged in groups, and over each group there was a
headman with certain powers and certain duties, the principal of the
latter being to keep his people quiet, and, if possible, protect them
from insurgents.
Now, it happened that among these headmen was one named Saw Ka, who had
been a free-lance in his day, but whose services were now enlisted on
the side of order--or, at least, we hoped so. He was a fighting-man, and
rather fond of that sort of exercise; so that I was not much surprised
one day when I got a letter from him to say that his villagers had
pursued and arrested, after a fight, a number of armed robbers, who had
tried to lift some of the village cattle. The letter came to me when I
was in my court-house, a tent ten feet by eight, trying a case. So,
saying I would see Saw Ka's people later, and giving orders for the
prisoners to be put in the lock-up, I went on with my work. When my case
was finished, I happened to notice that among those sitting and waiting
without my tent-door was Saw Ka himself, so I sent to call him in, and I
complimented him upon his success. 'It shall be reported,' I said, 'to
the Commissioner, who will, no doubt, reward you for your care and
diligence in the public service.'
As I talked I noticed that the man seemed rather bewildered, and when I
had finished he said that he really did not understand. He was aware, he
added modestly, that he was a diligent headman, always active in good
deeds, and a terror to dacoits and other evil-doers; but as to these
particular robbers and this fighting he was a little puzzled.
I was considerably surprised, naturally, and I took from the table the
Burmese letter describing the affair. It began, 'Your honour, I, Maung
Saw Ka, headman,' etc., and was in the usual style. I handed it to Saw
Ka, and told him to read it. As he read, his wicked black eyes twinkled,
and when he had finished he said he had not been home for a week.
'I came in from a visit to the river,' he said, 'where I have gathered
for your honour some private information. I had not been here five
minutes before I was called in. All this the letter speaks of is news to
me, and must have happened while I was away.'
'Then, who wrote the letter?' I asked.
'Ah!' he said, 'I think I know; but I will go and make sure.'
Then Saw Ka went to find the guard who had come in with the prisoners,
and I dissolved court and went out shooting. After dinner, as we sat
round a great bonfire before the mess, for the nights were cold, Saw Ka
and his brother came to me, and they sat down beside the fire and told
me all about it.
It appeared that three days after Saw Ka left his village, some robbers
came suddenly one evening to a small hamlet some two miles away and
looted from there all the cattle, thirty or forty head, and went off
with them. The frightened owners came in to tell the headman about it,
and in his absence they told his wife. And she, by virtue of the order
of appointment as headman, which was in her hands, ordered the villagers
to turn out and follow the dacoits. She issued such government arms as
she had in the house, and the villagers went and pursued the dacoits by
the cattle tracks, and next day they overtook them, and there was a
fight. When the villagers returned with the cattle and the thieves, she
had the letter written to me, and the prisoners were sent in, under her
husband's brother, with an escort. Everything was done as well, as
successfully, as if Saw Ka himself had been present. But if it had not
been for the accident of Saw Ka's sudden appearance, I should probably
never have known that this exploit was due to his wife; for she was
acting for her husband, and she would not have been pleased that her
name should appear.
'A good wife,' I said to Saw Ka.
'Like many,' he answered.
But in her own line she has no objection to publicity. I have said that
nearly all women work, and that is so. Married or unmarried, from the
age of sixteen or seventeen, almost every woman has some occupation
besides her own duties. In the higher classes she will have property of
her own to manage; in the lower classes she will have some trade. I
cannot find that in Burma there have ever been certain occupations told
off for women in which they may work, and others tabooed to them. As
there is no caste for the men, so there is none for the women. They have
been free to try their hands at anything they thought they could excel
in, without any fear of public opinion. But nevertheless, as is
inevitable, it has been found that there are certain trades in which
women can compete successfully with men, and certain others in which
they cannot. And these are not quite the same as in the West. We usually
consider sewing to be a feminine occupation. In Burma, there being no
elaborately cut and trimmed garments, the amount of sewing done is
small, but that is usually done by men. Women often own and use small
hand-machines, but the treadles are always used by men only. As I am
writing, my Burmese orderly is sitting in the garden sewing his jacket.
He is usually sewing when not sent on messages. He seems to sew very
well.
Weaving is usually done by women. Under nearly every house there will be
a loom, where the wife or daughter weaves for herself or for sale. But
many men weave also, and the finest silks are all woven by men. I once
asked a woman why they did not weave the best silks, instead of leaving
them all to the men.
'Men do them better,' she said, with a laugh. 'I tried once, but I
cannot manage that embroidery.'
They also work in the fields--light work, such as weeding and planting.
The heavy work, such as ploughing, is done by men. They also work on the
roads carrying things, as all Oriental women do. It is curious that
women carry always on their heads, men always on their shoulders. I do
not know why.
But the great occupation of women is petty trading. I have already said
that there are few large merchants among the Burmese. Nearly all the
retail trade is small, most of it is very small indeed, and practically
the whole of it is in the hands of the women.
Women do not often succeed in any wholesale trade. They have not, I
think, a wide enough grasp of affairs for that. Their views are always
somewhat limited; they are too pennywise and pound-foolish for big
businesses. The small retail trade, gaining a penny here and a penny
there, just suits them, and they have almost made it a close profession.
This trade is almost exclusively done in bazaars. In every town there is
a bazaar, from six till ten each morning. When there is no town near,
the bazaar will be held on one day at one village and on another at a
neighbouring one. It depends on the density of population, the means of
communication, and other matters. But a bazaar within reach there must
always be, for it is only there that most articles can be bought. The
bazaar is usually held in a public building erected for the purpose, and
this may vary from a great market built of brick and iron to a small
thatched shed. Sometimes, indeed, there is no building at all, merely a
space of beaten ground.
The great bazaar in Mandalay is one of the sights of the city. The
building in which it is held is the property of the municipality, but is
leased out. It is a series of enormous sheds, with iron roofs and beaten
earth floor. Each trade has a shed or sheds to itself. There is a place
for rice-sellers, for butchers, for vegetable-sellers, for the vendors
of silks, of cottons, of sugars and spices, of firewood, of jars, of
fish. The butchers are all natives of India. I have explained elsewhere
why this should be. The firewood-sellers will mostly be men, as will
also the large rice-merchants, but nearly all the rest are women.
You will find the sellers of spices, fruit, vegetables, and other such
matters seated in long rows, on mats placed upon the ground. Each will
have a square of space allotted, perhaps six feet square, and there she
will sit with her merchandise in a basket or baskets before her. For
each square they will pay the lessee a halfpenny for the day, which is
only three hours or so. The time to go is in the morning from six till
eight, for that is the busy time. Later on all the stalls will be
closed, but in the early morning the market is thronged. Every
householder is then buying his or her provisions for the day, and the
people crowd in thousands round the sellers. Everyone is bargaining and
chaffing and laughing, both buyers and sellers; but both are very keen,
too, on business.
The cloth and silk sellers, the large rice-merchants, and a few other
traders, cannot carry on business sitting on a mat, nor can they carry
their wares to and fro every day in a basket. For such there are
separate buildings or separate aisles, with wooden stalls, on either
side of a gangway. The wooden floor of the stalls is raised two to three
feet, so that the buyer, standing on the ground, is about on a level
with the seller sitting in the stall. The stall will be about eight feet
by ten, and each has at the back a strong lock-up cupboard or wardrobe,
where the wares are shut at night; but in the day they will be taken out
and arranged daintily about the girl-seller. Home-made silks are the
staple--silks in checks of pink and white, of yellow and orange, of
indigo and dark red. Some are embroidered in silk, in silver, or in
gold; some are plain. All are thick and rich, none are glazed, and none
are gaudy. There will also be silks from Bangkok, which are of two
colours--purple shot with red, and orange shot with red, both very
beautiful. All the silks are woven the size of the dress: for men, about
twenty-eight feet long and twenty inches broad; and for women, about
five feet long and much broader. Thus, there is no cutting off the
piece. The _anas_, too, which are the bottom pieces for a woman's dress,
are woven the proper size. There will probably, too, be piles of showy
cambric jackets and gauzy silk handkerchiefs; but often these are sold
at separate stalls.
But prettier than the silks are the sellers, for these are nearly all
girls and women, sweet and fresh in their white jackets, with flowers in
their hair. And they are all delighted to talk to you and show you their
goods, even if you do not buy; and they will take a compliment sedately,
as a girl should, and they will probably charge you an extra rupee for
it when you come to pay for your purchases. So it is never wise for a
man, unless he have a heart of stone, to go marketing for silks. He
should always ask a lady friend to go with him and do the bargaining,
and he will lose no courtesy thereby, for these women know how to be
courteous to fellow-women as well as to fellow-men.
In the provincial bazaars it is much the same. There may be a few
travelling merchants from Rangoon or Mandalay, most of whom are men; but
nearly all the retailers are women. Indeed, speaking broadly, it may be
said that the retail trade of the country is in the hands of the women,
and they nearly all trade on their own account. Just as the men farm
their own land, the women own their businesses. They are not saleswomen
for others, but traders on their own account; and with the exception of
the silk and cloth branches of the trade, it does not interfere with
home-life. The bazaar lasts but three hours, and a woman has ample time
for her home duties when her daily visit to the bazaar is over; she is
never kept away all day in shops and factories.
Her home-life is always the centre of her life; she could not neglect it
for any other: it would seem to her a losing of the greater in the less.
But the effect of this custom of nearly every woman having a little
business of her own has a great influence on her life. It broadens her
views; it teaches her things she could not learn in the narrow circle of
home duties; it gives her that tolerance and understanding which so
forcibly strikes everyone who knows her. It teaches her to know her own
strength and weakness, and how to make the best of each. Above all, by
showing her the real life about her, and how much beauty there is
everywhere, to those whose eyes are not shut by conventions, it saves
her from that dreary, weary pessimism that seeks its relief in fancied
idealism, in a smattering of art, of literature, or of religion, and
which is the curse of so many of her sisters in other lands.
And yet, with all their freedom, Burmese women are very particular in
their conduct. Do not imagine that young girls are allowed, or allow
themselves, to go about alone except on very frequented roads. I suppose
there are certain limits in all countries to the freedom a woman allows
herself, that is to say, if she is wise. For she knows that she cannot
always trust herself; she knows that she is weak sometimes, and she
protects herself accordingly. She is timid, with a delightful timidity
that fears, because it half understands; she is brave, with the bravery
of a girl who knows that as long as she keeps within certain limits she
is safe. Do not suppose that they ever do, or ever can, allow themselves
that freedom of action that men have; it is an impossibility. Girls are
very carefully looked after by their mothers, and wives by their
husbands; and they delight in observing the limits which experience has
indicated to them. There is a funny story which will illustrate what I
mean. A great friend of mine, an officer in Government service, went
home not very long ago and married, and came out again to Burma with his
wife. They settled down in a little up-country station. His duties were
such as obliged him to go very frequently on tour far away from his
home, and he would be absent ten days at a time or more. So when it came
for the first time that he was obliged to go out and leave his wife
behind him alone in the house, he gave his head-servant very careful
directions. This servant was a Burman who had been with him for many
years, who knew all his ways, and who was a very good servant. He did
not speak English; and my friend gave him strict orders.
'The mistress,' he said, 'has only just come here to Burma, and she
does not know the ways of the country, nor what to do. So you must see
that no harm comes to her in any way while I am in the jungle.'
Then he gave directions as to what was to be done in any eventuality,
and he went out.
He was away for about a fortnight, and when he returned he found all
well. The house had not caught fire, nor had thieves stolen anything,
nor had there been any difficulty at all. The servant had looked after
the other servants well, and my friend was well pleased. But his wife
complained.
'It has been very dull,' she said, 'while you were away. No one came to
see me; of all the officers here, not one ever called. I saw only two or
three ladies, but not a man at all.'
And my friend, surprised, asked his servant how it was.
'Didn't anyone come to call?' he asked.
'Oh yes,' the servant answered; 'many gentlemen came to call--the
officers of the regiment and others. But I told them the thakin was out,
and that the thakinma could not see anyone. I sent them all away.'
At the club that evening my friend was questioned as to why in his
absence no one was allowed to see his wife. The whole station laughed at
him, but I think he and his wife laughed most of all at the careful
observances of Burmese etiquette by the servant; for it is the Burmese
custom for a wife not to receive in her husband's absence. Anyone who
wants to see her must stay outside or in the veranda, and she will come
out and speak to him. It would be a grave breach of decorum to receive
visitors while her husband is out.
So even a Burmese woman is not free from restrictions--restrictions
which are merely rules founded upon experience. No woman, no man, can
ever free herself or himself from the bonds that even a young
civilization demands. A freedom from all restraint would be a return,
not only to savagery, but to the condition of animals--nay, even animals
are bound by certain conventions.
The higher a civilization, the more conventions are required; and
freedom does not mean an absence of all rules, but that all rules should
be founded on experience and common-sense.
There are certain restrictions on a woman's actions which must be
observed as long as men are men and women women. That the Burmese woman
never recognises them unless they are necessary, and then accepts the
necessity as a necessity, is the fact wherein her freedom lies. If at
any time she should recognise that a restriction was unnecessary, she
would reject it. If experience told her further restrictions were
required, she would accept them without a doubt.