PIZEN KATE FINDS HER HUSBAND.
Buffalo Bill had not been in the lonesome house on the big mesa an
hour before he heard a roaring shout near the stables. It drew him to
the open window, and when he looked out he beheld Pizen Kate.
She had sighted Nick Nomad, and was making for him, waving her big
umbrella round her head as if it were a lasso with which she meant to
effect his capture.
“Run away from me, will ye?” she was bellowing. “Abandon me, yer
lawful and lovin’ wedded wife, will ye? Well, you’ll perceive the
sinfulness of yer sinful ways before I git through with you, you bet!
You’ll know fer certain that I’m Pizen Kate, of Kansas City, and a
lady that’s not to be trifled with.”
For a moment Buffalo Bill was too astonished for mirth; then he
broke into a roar of laughter. Leaving the window, he descended
quickly to the ground, and made his way out to where Pizen Kate was
tongue-lashing her recreant spouse. She was still at it when the
scout arrived.
“Me washin’ fer you, and laborin’ fer you; and then you cuttin’ right
out and runnin’ away from me! Is that the way fer a man to conduct
himself toward the wife of his bosom? Answer me that, you dried-up
mummy, you pestiferous weasel! Why don’t you answer me?”
Nomad had backed into a corner of the adobe wall that formed part of
the horse inclosure, and was defending his face with his hands from
the jabbing umbrella.
“Yes, yes!” he admitted.
“Wasn’t I a true and lovin’ wife to ye?”
“Yes.”
“And you run away from me when I was workin’ fer ye?”
“Don’t!” he pleaded. “Don’t hit me in ther face with thet! Great
snakes! Yes; I’m willin’ ter admit ter anything. I’m all sorts of
critters that ye can think up, and more throwed in. But don’t poke me
in the eye with thet.”
“I’ve a notion to ram it down yer throat and open it up inside of
ye!” she threatened.
“Waal, it’d make me look fatter, ef ye did!” he declared. “Hold
on--hold on! Thet thar is my arm you’re peelin’ the skin off of. Let
up, can’t ye?”
“Why did you do it?” she demanded.
“I--I----”
“I ast you why did ye do it?”
“I couldn’t live with ye, and that’s a fact!” he sputtered, hopping
about to evade her blows.
“Couldn’t live yith yer lovin’ and lawful wife?”
“You was too strenuous fer me, and yer temper was too peppery. So I
thought I’d slide.”
Latimer had appeared, drawn by the noise.
“And there’s the feller that you went away with!” she said to Nomad.
“Don’t say he ain’t, fer I know. Thet’s ther dashin’ galoot that
called hisself Persimmon Pete. You got stuck on him there in Kansas
City, and lit out with him. Don’t say it ain’t so, er I’ll poke the
p’int of this umbreller inter yer innards! Don’t say it ain’t so!”
“Waugh! I ain’t sayin’ that it ain’t so.”
“Then it is so? I knowed it was. And he lied to me in ther town,
when I charged him with it. And he knowed you was out here; and out
here he rid, to meet ye. I seen him go, and I follered him. Oh, I
understand ye! You can’t fool Pizen Kate. Ain’t it so?”
“Anything’s so, when you says it is,” said Nomad.
She shook her umbrella at Buffalo Bill. “You lied to me there in the
town!” she vociferated. “You said you wasn’t Persimmon Pete, and you
perfessed that you didn’t know nothing about where my ole man was!
Now, what do ye say to that? When you left Eldorado I follered ye.
And here I find you two together. What do ye say to that? Answer me!”
The scout was laughing too much to reply as quickly as she wished,
and this made her rave the more.
“You are mistaken,” he said finally.
“You don’t know this man?”
“Oh, yes, I know him.”
“He ain’t my lawful, wedded husband?”
“I don’t know that he isn’t, of course. It only surprises me.”
“Surprises ye, does it? Well, when I think of it, it surprises me,
too. To think that I should ’a’ married a walkin’ shadder of a man
like that, a living mummy that grins and acts like a baboon; and then
that he should run away frum me, when I stood ready to lavish all
my wifely love on him. Yes, it surprises me, too.” She glared at the
scout. “Why did you tell me that you wasn’t Persimmon Pete?”
“Because I am not.”
“What!” she shrieked. “You deny it?”
“Don’t deny anything, Buffler!” wailed Nomad. “It’ll be wuss fer ye.
Admit everything she says. If she asks me ain’t I the man in the
moon, I’m saying ‘yes’ to her every time.”
“You are married to her?” said the scout.
“Waugh! Buffler, she made me do it!”
“If you ain’t Persimmon Pete,” she demanded of the scout, “who aire
ye?”
“My name is Cody. Sometimes I’m called Buffalo Bill.”
“And that’s another lie!” she declared. “I know ye. You’re Persimmon
Pete. But I’ll tell ye now, that I’m goin’ to take this man back with
me, and he’ll live with me as my lovin’ husband, er I’ll kill him.”
Nomad contrived to escape out of his corner while the infuriated
woman talked with the scout and with Latimer, and when he had
accomplished that he sprinted round the end of the wall.
She gave chase immediately; and when she found that he had hid
himself somewhere, she began to search for him, vowing that she would
not rest until she had forced him to return with her to her home in
Kansas City. She repeated her threat, as she made her furious search.
“If he don’t go back with me, and live with me as my
lovin’ husband, I’ll kill him. There ain’t goin’ to be no
pore-deceived-and-weepin’-woman business with me now, you bet! I
ain’t that kind of a hairpin! I’m a woman that knows her rights and
is willin’ to fight fer ’em. And if he thinks he can hide, and that
I’ll soon go away and leave him, why, then he is mightily mistaken.”
“Your hostler seems to have got into a good deal of trouble,” the
scout remarked to Latimer, as they returned to the house together,
leaving Pizen Kate hunting for Nick Nomad.
“Cody,” said Latimer, “that is the most absurd episode I ever saw, or
knew about. I’m afraid that new hostler is a great rascal, in spite
of what you informed me about him.”
A little later the scout saw Nomad running toward the house. Pizen
Kate was not in sight. Apparently, Nomad had found a chance to get
out of his hiding place unobserved by her, and was making tracks for
the security of the big building.
Buffalo Bill hurried through the hall and swung the front door open
to admit him.
“Cody, is she comin’?” Nomad panted.
The scout glanced out. “I think not.”
“Then, Cody,” he lowered his voice, “come into thet room over thar,
fer I want a talk with ye. Fasten ther door, so that she can’t git
in. And don’t let Latimer know about it. Jes’ a few minutes’ talk
with ye, in thet room over thar.”
He ran on toward the door of the room indicated.
The scout stayed, in obedience to his request, to bar the outer door
against the ferocious Pizen Kate. He occupied but a minute of time in
doing it, and then followed on to the room, through whose door he had
seen Nomad vanish. But when he entered the room Nomad was not there.
“Nomad!” he called, looking about.
There was no reply.