'What! you mean to say you never heard the legend? You, a Sussex man!'
'I have lived very little in Sussex, and I used to hate the place; I
am only just beginning to like it. But tell me the legend.'
'Very well; let's try and find a place where we can sit down. The
grass is full of that horrid prickly gorse.'
'Here's a nice soft place; there is no gorse here. Now tell me the
legend.'
'You do astonish me,' said Kitty, seating herself on the spot that had
been chosen for her. 'You never heard of the legend of St. Cuthman!'
'Won't you cross the poor gipsy's palm with a bit of silver, my pretty
gentleman, and she'll tell you your fortune and that of your pretty
lady.'
Kitty uttered a startled cry and turning they found themselves facing
a strong black-eyed girl.
'What do you think, Kitty, would you like to have your fortune told?'
Kitty laughed. 'It would be rather fun,' she said.
And she listened to the usual story of a handsome young gentleman who
would woo her, win her, and give her happiness and wealth.
John threw the girl a shilling. She withdrew. They watched her passing
through the furze.
'What nonsense they talk; you don't believe that there's anything in
what they say,' said Kitty, raising her eyes.
John's eyes were fixed upon her. He tried to answer her question,
which he had only half heard. But he could not form an intelligible
sentence. There was a giddiness in his brain which he had never felt
before; he trembled, and the victim of an impulse which forced him
toward her, he threw his arms about her and kissed her violently.
'Oh, don't,' cried the girl, 'let me go--oh, John, how could you,' and
disengaging herself from his arms she looked at him. The expression of
deep sorrow and regret on his face surprised her more even than his
kiss. She said, 'What is the matter, John? Why did you--' She did not
finish the sentence.
'Do not ask me, I do not know. I cannot explain--a sudden impulse for
which I am hardly accountable. You are so beautiful,' he said, taking
her hand gently, 'that the temptation to kiss you--I don't know... I
suppose it is natural desire to kiss what is beautiful. But you'll
forget this, you will never mention it. I humbly beg your pardon.'
John sat looking into space, and, seeing how troubled he was, Kitty
excused the kiss.
'I'm sure I forgive you, John. There was no great harm. I believe
young men often kiss girls. The Austin girls do, I know, they have
told me so. I shouldn't have cried out so if you hadn't taken me by
surprise. I forgive you, John, I know you didn't mean it, you meant
nothing.'
His face frightened her.
'You must never do so again. It is not right; but we have known each
other always--I don't think it was a sin. I don't think that father or
Mrs. Norton would think it---'
'But they must never know. You promise me, Kitty. ... I am grateful to
you for what you have said in my excuse. I daresay the Austin girls do
kiss young men, but because they do so it does not follow that it is
right. No girl should kiss a man unless she intends to marry him.'
'But,' said Kitty, laughing, 'if he kisses her by force what is she to
do?'
For she failed to perceive that to snatch a kiss was as important as
John seemed to think. But he told her that she must not laugh, that
she must try to forgive him.
'It is unpardonable,' he said, 'for I cannot marry you. We are not of
the same religion....'
'But you don't want to marry me, John--to marry just because you
kissed me! People kiss every year under the mistletoe but they don't
marry each other.'
'It is as you like, Kitty.'
But forced on by his conscience, he said:
'We might obtain a dispensation.... You know nothing of our Church; if
you did, you might become a convert. I wish you would consider the
question. It is so simple; we surrender our own wretched
understanding, and are content to accept the Church as wiser than we.
Once man throws off restraint there is no happiness, there is only
misery. One step leads to another; if he would be logical he must go
on, and before long, for the descent is very rapid indeed, he finds
himself in an abyss of darkness and doubt, a terrible abyss indeed,
where nothing exists, and life has lost all meaning. The Reformation
was the thin end of the wedge, it was the first denial of authority,
and you see what it has led to--modern scepticism and modern
pessimism.'
'I don't know what that means, but I heard Mrs. Norton say you were a
pessimist.'
'I was; but I saw in time where it was leading me, and I crushed it
out. I used to be a Republican too, but I saw what liberty meant, and
what were its results, and I gave it up.'
'So you gave up all your ideas for Catholicism....'
John hesitated, he seemed a little startled, but he answered, 'I would
give up anything for my Church....'
'And did it cost you much to give up your ideas?'
'Yes; I have suffered. But now I am happy, and my happiness would be
complete if God would grant you grace to believe....'
'But I do believe. I believe in our Lord Jesus who died to save us. Is
not that enough?'
There was no wind on the down. And still as a reflection in a glass
the grey barren land rolled through the twilight. Beyond it the
circling sea and the girl's figure distinct on a golden hour. John
watched a moment, and then hastened homeward. He was overpowered by
fear of the future; he trembled with anticipation, and prayed that
accident might lead him out of the difficulty into which a chance
moment had betrayed him.