V.

As the spring advanced they spent more and more time in the park. They

learnt to know it in its slightest aspects; they anticipated each bend

of the lake's bank; they looked out for the tall trees at the end of

the island, and often thought of the tree that leaned until its lower

leaves swept the water's edge. Close to this tree was their favourite

seat. And, as they sat by the water's edge in the vaporous afternoons,

the park seemed part and parcel of their love of each other; it was

their refuge; it was only there that they were alone; the park was a

relief from the promiscuity of the galleries. In the park they could

talk without fear of being overheard, and they took interest in the

changes that spring was effecting in this beautiful friendly nature--

their friend and their accomplice.

'The park is greener than it was yesterday,' he said. 'Look at that

tree! How bright the green, and how strange it seems amid all the

blackness.'

'And that rose cloud and the reflection of the evening in the lake,

how tranquil.'

'And that great block of buildings, Queen Anne's Mansions, is it not

beautiful in the blue atmosphere? In London the ugliest things are

beautiful in the evening. No city has so pictorial an atmosphere.'

'Not Paris?'

'I've not seen Paris; I've never been out of England.'

'Then you're speaking of things you haven't seen.'

'Of things that I've only imagined.'

The conversation paused a moment, and then Ralph said:

'Are you still thinking of going to Paris with Elsie Laurence and

Cissy Clive?'

'I think so. Paris is the only place one can study art, so they say.'

'You'll be away a long while--several months?'

'It wouldn't be much good going if I didn't stop some time, six or

seven months, would it?'

'I suppose not.'

Mildred raised her eyes cautiously and looked at him. His eyes were

averted. He was looking where some ducks were swimming. They came

towards the bank slowly--a drake and two ducks. A third duck paddled

aimlessly about at some little distance. There was a slight mist on

the water.

'If you go to Paris I hope I may write to you. Send me your drawings

to correct. Any advice I can give you is at your service; I shall only

be too pleased.'

'Oh, yes, I hope you will write to me. I shall be so glad to hear from

you. I shall be lonely all that time away from home.'

'And you'll write to me?'

'Of course. And if I write to you, you won't misunderstand?'

Ralph looked up surprised.

'I mean, if I write affectionately you won't misunderstand. It will be

because---'

'Because you feel lonely?'

'Partly. But you don't misunderstand, do you?'

They watched the ducks in silence. At last Mildred said, 'That duck

wanders about by herself; why doesn't she join the others?'

'Perhaps she can't find a drake.'

'Perhaps she prefers to be alone.'

'We shall see--the drake is going to her.'

'She is going away from him. She doesn't want him.'

'She's jealous of the others. If there were no other she would.'

'There are always others.'

'Do you think so?'

Mildred did not answer. Ralph waited a few moments, then he said:

'So you're going away for six or seven months; the time will seem very

long while you're away.'

Again Mildred was tempted to ask him if she might lend him the money

to go to Paris. She raised her eyes to his (he wondered what was

passing in her mind), but he did not find courage to speak until some

days later. He had asked her to come to his studio to see a picture he

had begun. It was nearly six o'clock; Mildred had been there nearly an

hour; the composition had been exhaustively admired; but something

still unsaid seemed to float in the air, and every moment that

something seemed to grow more imminent.

'You are decided to go to France. When do you leave?'

'Some time next week. The day is not yet fixed.'

'Elsie Laurence and Cissy Clive are going?'

'Yes.... Why don't you come too?'

'I wish I could. I can't. I have no money.'

'But I can lend you what you want. I have more than I require. Let me

lend you a hundred pounds. Do.'

Ralph smiled through his red moustache, and his grey gentle eyes

smiled too, a melancholy little smile that passed quickly.

'It is very kind of you. But it would be impossible for me to borrow

money from you. Even if I had the money, I could hardly go with you.'

'Why not, there's a party. Walter is going, and Hopwood Blunt is

going. I'm the fifth wheel.'

Ralph was about to say something, but he checked himself; he never

spoke ill of any one. So, putting his criticism of her companions

aside, he said:

'Only under one condition could I go abroad with you. You know,

Mildred, I love you.'

An expression of pleasure came upon her face, and, seeing it, he threw

his arms out to draw her closer. She drew away.

'You shrink from me.... I suppose I'm too rough. You could never care

for me.'

'Yes, indeed, Ralph, I do care for you. I like you very much indeed,

but not like that.'

'You could not like me enough to marry me.'

'I don't think I could marry any one.'

'Why not?'

'I don't know.'

'Do you care for any one else?'

'No, indeed I don't. I like you very much. I want you to be my

friend.... But you don't understand. Men never do. I suppose affection

would not satisfy you.'

'But you could not marry me?'

'I'd sooner marry you than any one. But---'

'But what?'

Mildred told the story of her engagement, and how in the end she had

been forced to break it off.

'And you think if you engaged yourself to me it might end in the same

way?'

'Yes. And I would not cause you pain. Forgive me.'

'But if you never intend to marry, what do you intend to do?'

'There are other things to do surely.'

'What?'

'There's art.'

'Art!'

'You think I shall not succeed with my painting?'

'No. I did not mean that. I hope you will. But painting is very

difficult. I've found it so. It seems hopeless.'

'You think I shall be a failure? You think that I'd better remain at

home and marry than go to France and study?'

'It's impossible to say who will succeed. I only know it is very

difficult--too difficult for me.... Women never have succeeded in

painting.'

'Some have, to a certain extent.'

'But you're not angry, offended at my having spoken?'

'No; I hope we shall always be friends. You know that I like you very

much.'

'Then why not, why not be engaged? It will give you time to consider,

to find out if you could.'

'But, you see, I've broken off one engagement, so that I might be free

to devote myself to painting.'

'But that man was not congenial to you. He was not an artist, he would

have opposed your painting; you'd have had to give up painting if you

had married him. But I'm quite different. I should help and encourage

you in your art. All you know I have taught you. I could teach you a

great deal more. Mildred---'

'Do you think that you could?'

'Yes; will you let me try?'

'But, you see, I'm going away. Shall I see you again before I go?'

'When you like. When? To-morrow?'

'To-morrow would be nice.'

'Where--in the National?'

'No, in the park. It will be nicer in the park. Then about eleven.'

At five minutes past eleven he saw her coming through the trees, and

she signed to him with a little movement of her parasol, which was

particularly charming, and which seemed to him to express her. They

walked from the bridge along the western bank; the trees were prettier

there, and from their favourite seat they saw the morning light silver

the water, the light mist evaporate, and the trees on the other bank

emerge from vague masses into individualities of trunk and bough. The

day was warm, though there was little sun, and the park swung a great

mass of greenery under a soft, grey sky.

The drake and the two ducks came swimming towards them--the drake, of

course, in the middle, looking very handsome and pleased, and at a

little distance the third duck pursued her rejected and disconsolate

courtship. Whenever she approached too near, the drake rushed at her

with open beak, and drove her back. Then she affected not to know

where she was going, wandering in an aimless, absent-minded fashion,

getting near and nearer her recalcitrant drake. But these ruses were

wasted upon him; he saw through them all, and at last he attacked the

poor broken-hearted duck so determinedly that she was obliged to seek

safety in flight. And the entire while of the little aquatic comedy

the wisdom of an engagement had been discussed between Ralph and

Mildred. She had consented. But her promise had not convinced Ralph,

and he said, referring to the duck which they had both been watching:

'I shall dangle round you for a time, and when I come too near you'll

chase me away until at last you'll make up your mind that you can

stand it no longer, and will refuse ever to see me again.'