THE DECISION.
The summer was over and gone; its last breath had died away amid
the New England hills, and the mellow October days had come, when
in the words of America's sweetest poetess,
"The woods stand bare and brown,
And into the lap of the South land,
The flowers are blowing down."
Over all there was that dreamy, languid haze, so common to the
Autumn time, when the distant hills are bathed in a smoky light
and all things give token of decay. The sun, round and red, as the
October sun is wont to be, shone brightly upon Collingwood, and
looked cheerily into the room where Edith Hastings sat, waiting
apparently for some one whose tardy appearance filled her with
impatience. In her hand she held a tiny note received the previous
night, and as she read for the twentieth time the few lines
contained therein, her blushes deepened on her cheek, and her
blank eyes grew softer and more subdued in their expression.
"Edith," the note began, "I must see you alone. I have something
to say to you which a third person cannot hear. May I come to
Collingwood to-morrow at three o'clock, P.M.? In haste, Arthur St.
Claire."
The words were very cold, but to Edith they contained a world of
meaning. She knew she was beloved by Arthur St. Claire. Dr.
Griswold had told her so. Grace had told her so. Nina had told her
so, while more than all his manner had told her so repeatedly, and
now HE would tell her so himself and had chosen a time when
Richard and Victor were both in Boston, as the one best adapted to
the interview. Edith was like all other maidens of eighteen, and
her girlish heart fluttered with joy as she thought what her
answer would be, but not at first,--not at once, lest she seem too
anxious. She'd make him wait a whole week, then see how he felt.
He deserved it all for his weak vacillation. If he loved her why
hadn't he told her before! She didn't believe there was such a
terrible impediment in the way. Probably he had sworn never to
marry any one save Nina, but her insanity was certainly a
sufficient reason for his not keeping the oath. Dr. Griswold was
peculiar,--over-nice in some points, and Arthur had been wholly
under his control, becoming morbidly sensitive to the past, and
magnifying every trivial circumstance into a mountain too great to
be moved.
This was Edith's reasoning as she sat waiting that October
afternoon for Arthur, who came ere long, looking happier, more
like himself than she had seen him since the memorable day when
she first met Nina. Arthur had determined to do right, to tell
without reserve the whole of his past history to Edith Hastings,
and the moment he reached this decision half his burden was lifted
from his mind. It cost him a bitter struggle thus to decide, and
lest his courage should give way, he had asked for an early
interview. It was granted, and without giving himself time to
repent he came at once and stood before the woman who was dearer
to him than his life. Gladly would he have died could he thus have
blotted out the past and made Edith his wife, but he could not,
and he had come to tell her so.
Never had she been more beautiful than she was that afternoon. Her
dress of crimson merino contrasted well with her clear dark
complexion. Her magnificent hair, arranged with far more care than
usual, was wound in many a heavy braid around her head, while,
half-hidden amid the silken bands, and drooping gracefully behind
one ear, was a single white rose-bud, mingled with scarlet
blossoms of verbena; the effect adding greatly to her beauty.
Excitement lent a brighter sparkle to her brilliant eyes, and a
richer bloom to her glowing cheeks, and thus she sat waiting for
Arthur St. Claire, who felt his heart grow cold and faint as he
looked upon her, and knew her charms were not for him. She
detected his agitation, and as a kitten plays with a captured
mouse, torturing it almost to madness, so she played with him ere
suffering him to reach the point. Rapidly she went from one
subject to another, dragging him with her whether he would or not,
until at last as if suddenly remembering herself, she turned her
shining eyes upon him, and said, "I have talked myself out, and
will now give you a chance. You wrote that you wished to see me."
But for this direct allusion to his note, Arthur would assuredly
have gone away, leaving his errand untold. But he could not do so
now. She was waiting for him to speak, and undoubtedly wondering
at his silence. Thrice he attempted to articulate, but his tongue
seemed paralyzed, and reeking with perspiration, he sat unable to
move until she said again, "Is it of Nina you would tell me?"
Then the spell was broken, Nina was the sesame which unlocked his
powers of speech; and wiping the large drops from his forehead, he
answered,
"Yes, Edith, of Nina, of myself, of you. Edith, you know how much
I love you, don't you, darling?"
The words were apparently wrung from him greatly against his will.
They were not what he intended to say, and he would have given
worlds to have recalled them, but they were beyond his reach, and
the very walls of the room seemed to echo in thunder tones,
"You know how much I love you, don't you, darling?"
Yes, she did know; he knew she did by the glance she gave him
back, and laying his head upon the table, he neither moved nor
spoke until a footstep glided to his side, and a soft hand pressed
his burning brow, while a voice, whose tones drifted him far, far
back to the sea of darkness and doubt where he had so long been
bravely buffetting the billows, whispered to him,
"Arthur, I DO know, or rather believe you love me. You would not
tell me an untruth, but I do not understand why it should make you
so unhappy."
He did not answer her at once, but retained within his own the
little hand which trembled for a moment like an imprisoned bird
and then grew warm and full of vigorous life just as Edith was,
standing there before him. What should he do? What could he do?
Surely, never so dark an hour had gathered round him, or one so
fraught with peril. Like lightning his mind took in once more the
whole matter as it was. Griswold was dead. On his grave the autumn
leaves were falling and the nightly vigils by that grave had been
of no avail. Nina could never comprehend, the written proof was
burned, Richard had forgotten, there was nothing in the way save
his CONSCIENCE and that would not be silent. Loudly it whispered
to the anguished man that happiness could not be secured by
trampling on Nina's rights; that remorse would mix itself with
every joy and at the last would drive him mad.
"You mistake me, I cannot," he began to say, but Edith did not
heed it, for a sound without had caught her ear, telling her that
Richard had unexpectedly returned, and Victor was coming for her.
There was an expression of impatience on Edith's face, as to
Victor's summons she replied, "Yes, yes, in a moment;" but Arthur
breathed more freely as, rising to his feet, he said, "I cannot
now say all I wish to say, but meet me, to-morrow at this hour in
the Deering Woods, near the spot where the mill brook falls over
those old stones. You know the place. We went there once with--
NINA."
He wrung her hand, pitying her more than he did himself, for he
knew how little she suspected the true nature of what he intended
to tell her.
"God help us both, me to do right, and her to bear it," was his
mental prayer, as he left her at the door of the room where
Richard was waiting for her.
There were good and bad angels lugging at Arthur's heart as he
hastened across the fields where the night was falling, darker,
gloomier, than ever it fell before. Would it be a deadly sin to
marry Edith Hastings? Would Nina be wronged if he did? were
questions which the bad spirits kept whispering in his ear, and
each time that he listened to these questionings, he drifted
further and farther away from the right, until by the time his
home was reached he hardly knew himself what his intentions were.
Very bright were the lights shining in the windows of his home,
and the fire blazed cheerfully in the library, where Nina, pale
and fair as a white pond lily, had ordered the supper table to be
set, because she thought it would please him, and where, with her
golden curls tucked behind her ears, and a huge white apron on,
she knelt before the glowing coals, making the nicely-buttered
toast he liked so well. Turning toward him her childish face as he
came in, she said,
"See--Nina's a nice little housekeeper. Wouldn't it be famous if
we could live alone, you and I?"
Arthur groaned inwardly, but made her no reply. Sitting down in
his arm-chair, he watched her intently as she made his tea,
removed her apron, brushed her curls, and then look her seat at
the table, bidding him do the same. Mechanically he obeyed,
affecting to eat for her sake, while his eyes were constantly
fastened upon her face. Supper being over and the table removed,
he continued watching her intently as she flitted about the room,
now perching herself upon his knee, calling him "her good boy,"
now holding a whispered conversation with Miggie, who, she
fancied, was there, and again singing to herself a plaintive song
she had sung to Dr. Griswold. When it drew near her bedtime she
went to the window, from which the curtain was thrown back, and
looking out upon the blackness of the night, said to Arthur,
"The darkness is very dark. I should think poor Dr. Griswold would
be afraid lying there alone in that narrow grave. What made him
die, Arthur? I didn't want him to. It had better been I, hadn't
it?"
She came close to him now, and sitting on his knee held his
bearded chin in her hand, while she continued,
"Would my poor boy be very lonesome, knowing that Nina wasn't
here, nor up stairs, nor in the Asylum, nor over at Miggie's, nor
anywhere? Would you miss me a bit?"
"YES, YES, YES!"
The words came with quiet, gasping sobs, for in his hour of
bitterest anguish, Arthur had never for an instant wished HER
gone--the little blue-eyed creature clinging so confidingly to him
and asking if he would miss her when she was dead.
"Nina's would be a little grave," she said, "not as large as
Miggie's, and perhaps it won't be long before they dig it. I can
wait. You can wait; can't you, boy?"
What was it which prompted her thus to speak to him? What was it
which made him see Griswold's glance in the eyes looking so
earnestly to his own? Surely there was something more than mere
chance in all this. Nina would save him. She had grasped his
conscience, and she stirred it with no gentle hand, until the
awakened man writhed in agony, such as the drowning are said to
feel when slowly restored to life, and bowing his head on Nina's,
he cried,
"What shall I do? Tell me, Nina, what to do!"
Once before, when thus appealed to, she had answered him, "Do
right," and she now said the same to the weeping man, who sobbed
aloud, "I will. I will tell her all to-morrow. I wish it were to-
morrow now, but the long night must intervene, and a weak,
vacillating fool like me may waver in that time. Nina," and he
held her closer to him, "stay here with me till morning. I am
stronger where you are. The sight of you does me good. Phillis
will fix you a bed upon the sofa and make you comfortable; will
you stay?"
Every novelty was pleasing to Nina and she assented readily,
stipulating, however, that he should not look at her while she
said her prayers.
In much surprise Phillis heard of this arrangement, but offered no
objection, thinking that Arthur had probably detected signs of a
frenzied attack and chose to keep her with him where he could
watch her. Alas! they little dreamed that 'twas to save himself he
kept her there, kneeling oftentimes beside her as she slept, and
from the sight of her helpless innocence gathering strength for
the morrow's duty. How slowly the hours of that never-to-be-
forgotten night dragged on, and when at last the grey dawn came
creeping up the east, how short they seemed, looked back upon.
Through them all Nina had slept quietly, moving only once, and
that when Arthur's tears dropped upon her face. Then,
unconsciously, she put her arms around his neck and murmured, "It
will all be right sometime."
"Whether it is or not, I will do right to-day," Arthur said aloud,
and when the sun came stealing into the room, it found him firm as
a granite rock.
Nina's presence saved him, and when the clock pointed to three, he
said to her, "Miggie is waiting for me in the Deering woods, where
the mill-brook falls over the stones. You called it Niagara, you
know, when you went there once with us. Go to Miggie, Nina. Tell
her I'm coming soon. Tell her that I sent you."
"And that you will do right?" interrupted Nina, retaining a
confused remembrance of last night's conversation.
"Yes, tell her I'll do right. Poor Edith, she will need your
sympathy so much;" and with trembling hands Arthur himself wrapped
Nina's shawl around her, taking more care than usual to see that
she was shielded from the possibility of taking cold; then,
leading her to the door and pointing in the direction of the
miniature Niagara he bade her go, watching her with a beating
heart as she bounded across the fields toward the Deering woods.