"The hell with you," said Lundy. He was tired. He was so tired he
didn't care much whether he lived or died.
He made sure the net was fast to his belt, and tightly closed.
"If I live, you go back to Vhia with me. If I die--well, you won't be
able to hurt anybody again. There'll be one less devil loose on Venus."
_Free! Free! Free! I must be free! This heavy weight...._
"Sure. Free to lead guys like Farrell into going crazy, and leaving
their wives and kids. Free to kill...." He looked with sultry eyes at
the net. "Jackie Smith was my pal. You think I'd let you go? You think
anything you could do would make me let you go?"
Then he saw her.
Right through the net, as though the metal mesh was cellophane. She
crouched there in his lap, a tiny thing less than two feet high,
doubled over her knees. The curve of her back was something an angel
had carved out of a whisp of warm, pearl-pink cloud.
V
Lundy broke into a trembling sweat. He shut his eyes. It didn't matter.
He saw her. He couldn't help seeing her. He tried to fight his mind,
but he was tired....
Her hair hid most of her. It had black night in it, and moonbeams, and
glints of fire like a humming-bird's breast. Hair you dream about. Hair
you could smother yourself in, and die happy.
She raised her head slowly, letting the veil of warm darkness fall away
from her. Her eyes were shadowed, hidden under thick lashes. She raised
her hands to Lundy, like a child praying.
But she wasn't a child. She was a woman, naked as a pearl and so lovely
that Lundy sobbed with it, in shivering ecstasy.
"No," he said hoarsely. "No. No!"
She held her arms up to be free, and didn't move.
Lundy tore the net loose from his belt and flung it on the altar block.
He got up and went lurching to the door, but the kelp-things were still
there, still hungry. He sat down again, in a corner as far away from
both places as he could get, and took some benzedrine.
It was the wrong thing to do. He'd about reached his limit. It made him
light-headed. He couldn't fight her, couldn't shut her out. She knelt
on the altar with her hands stretched out to him, and a shaft of golden
light falling on her like something in a church.
"Open your eyes," he said. "Open your eyes and look at me."
_Let me free. Let me free!_
Freedom Lundy didn't know anything about. The freedom of outer space,
with the whole Milky Way to play in and nothing to hold you back. And
with the longing, fear. A blind, stricken terror....
"No!" Lundy said.
Things got dark for Lundy. Presently he found himself at the altar
block, fumbling at the net.
He wrenched away and went stumbling back to his corner. He was
twitching all over like a frightened dog.
"Why do you want to do it? Why do you have to torture men--drive them
crazy for something they can't have--kill them?"
_Torture? Crazy? Kill? I don't understand. They worship me. It is
pleasant to be worshiped._
"Pleasant?" Lundy was yelling aloud, and didn't know it. "Pleasant,
damn you! So you kill a good guy like Farrell, and drown Jackie
Smith...."
_Kill? Wait--give me the thought again._...
Something inside Lundy turned cold and still, holding its breath. He
sent the thought again. Death. Cessation. Silence, and the dark.
The tiny glowing figure on the black stone bent over its knees again,
and it was sadder than a seabird's cry at sunset.
_So will I be soon. So will all of us. Why did this planet take us out
of space? The weight, the pressure breaks and crushes us, and we can't
get free. In space there was no death, but now we die...._
Lundy stood quite still. The blood beat like drums in his temples.
"You mean that all you creatures out of space are dying? That the--the
madness will stop of itself?"
_Soon. Very soon. There was no death in space! There was no pain! We
didn't know about them. Everything here was new, to be tasted and
played with. We didn't know...._
"Hell!" said Lundy, and looked at the creatures beating at the crack of
the stone door. He sat down.
_You, too, will die._
* * * * *
Lundy raised his head slowly. His eyes had a terrible brightness.
"You like to be worshiped," he whispered. "Would you like to be
worshiped after you die? Would you like to be remembered always as
something good and beautiful--a goddess?"
_That would be better than to be forgotten._
"Will you do what I ask of you, then? You can save my life, if you
will. You can save the lives of a lot of those little flower-people.
I'll see to it that everyone knows your true story. Now you're hated
and feared, but after that you'll be loved."
_Will you let me free of this net?_
"If you promise to do what I ask."
_I would rather die at least free of this net._ The tiny figure
trembled and shook back the veil of dark hair. _Hurry. Tell me...._
"Lead these creatures away from the door. Lead all of them in the city
away, to the fire in the mountain where they'll be destroyed."
_They will worship me. It is better than dying in a net. I promise._
Lundy got up and went to the altar. His feet were not steady. His hands
were not steady, either, untying the net. Sweat ran in his eyes. She
didn't have to keep her promise. She didn't have to....
The net fell away. She stood up on her tiny pink feet. Slowly, like
a swirl of mist straightening in a little breeze. She threw her head
back and smiled. Her mouth was red and sulky, her teeth whiter than new
snow. Her lowered lids had faint blue shadows traced on them.
She began to glow, in the golden shaft of light, like a pillar of cloud
rising toward the sun. Lundy's heart stood still. The clear gleam of
her skin, the line of her throat and her young breasts, the supple turn
of her flank and thigh....
_You worship me, too._
Lundy stepped back, two lurching steps. "I worship you," he whispered.
"Let me see your eyes."
She smiled and turned her head away. She stepped off the altar block,
floating past him through the black water. A dream-thing, without
weight or substance, and more desirable than all the women Lundy had
seen in his life or his dreams.
He followed her, staggering. He tried to catch her. "Open your eyes!
Please open your eyes!"
She floated on, through the crack of the stone door. The kelp-things
didn't see her. All they saw was Lundy, coming toward them.
"Open your eyes!"
She turned, then, just before Lundy had stepped out to death in the
hall beyond. He stopped, and watched her raise her shadowed lids.
He screamed, just once, and fell forward onto the black floor.
He never knew how long he lay there. It couldn't have been long in
time, because he still had barely enough oxygen to make it to the coast
when he came to. The kelp-beasts were gone.
But the time to Lundy was an eternity--an eternity he came out of with
whitened hair and bitter lines around his mouth, and a sadness that
never left his eyes.
He'd only had his dream a little while. A few brief moments, already
shadowed by death. His mind was drugged and tired, and didn't feel
things as deeply and clearly as it might. That was all that saved him.
But he knew what Jackie Smith saw before he drowned. He knew why men
had died or gone mad forever, when they looked into the eyes of their
dream, and by looking, destroyed it.
Because, behind those shadowed, perfect lids, there was--_Nothing_.