A DRIVE IN THE RAIN
When Julian returned from Angelo's the next morning he found lying
upon the breakfast table a note, and, after the custom of many people,
before opening it he read the address on the envelope two or three
times and considered who the writer might be. It struck him at once
that the writing ought to be familiar to him and capable of instant
identification. The name of his correspondent was literally on the tip of
his mind. Yet he could not utter it. And so at last he broke the seal.
Before reading the note he glanced at the signature: "Valentine."
Julian was surprised. He knew now why he had seemed to remember, yet had
not actually remembered, the handwriting. Regarding it again, he found it
curiously changed from Valentine's usual hand, yet containing many points
of resemblance. After a while he came to the conclusion that it was like
a bad photograph of the original, imitating, closely enough, all the main
points of the original, yet leaving out all the character, all the
delicacy of it. For Valentine's handwriting had always seemed to Julian
to express his nature. It was rather large and very clear, but delicate,
the letters exquisitely formed, the lines perfectly even, neither
depressed nor slanting upwards. This note was surely much more coarsely
written than usual. And yet, of course, it was Valentine's writing.
Julian wondered he had not known. He read the note at last:
"DEAR JULIAN,
"I am coming over to see you this afternoon about five, and shall try and
persuade Rip to restore me to his confidence. I hope you will be in. Are
you tired after last night's experiences? I never felt better.
"Ever yours,
"VALENTINE."
"And yet," Julian thought, "I should have guessed by your writing that
you were in some unusual frame of mind, either tired, or--or--" he looked
again, and closely, at the writing,--"or in a temper less delightfully
calm and seraphic than usual. Yes, it looks actually a bad-tempered hand.
Valentine's!" Then he laughed, and tossed the note carelessly into the
fire that was crackling upon the hearth. Rip lay by it, quietly
sleeping.
Punctually at five o'clock Valentine appeared. Rip was still lying
happily before the fire, but directly the dog caught sight of its master
all the hair along the middle of its back bristled on end, and it showed
every symptom of acute distress and fury. Julian was obliged to put it
out of the room.
"What can have come over Rip, Valentine?" he said, as he came back. "This
sudden hatred of you is inexplicable."
"Absolutely," Valentine answered. "But it is sure to pass away. There was
something uncanny about that trance of mine which frightened the little
beggar."
"Perhaps. But the oddest thing is, that while you were insensible Rip lay
with his head upon your arm as contented as possible. It was only just as
you began to show signs of life that he seemed to turn against you. I
can't understand it."
"Nor I. Have you seen Marr to-day?"
"No. I haven't been to the club. I am so glad you don't know him."
Valentine laughed. He was lying back in a big chair, smoking a cigarette.
His face was unclouded and serene, and he had never looked more entirely
healthy. Indeed, he appeared much more decisively robust than usual.
Julian noticed this.
"Your trance seems positively to have done you good," he said.
"It certainly has not done me harm. My short death of the senses has
rested me wonderfully. I wonder if I am what is called a medium."
"I shouldn't be surprised if you are," Julian said. "But I don't think I
could be surprised at anything to-day. Indeed, I have found myself
dwelling with childish pleasure upon the most preposterous ideas, hugging
them to my soul, determining to believe in them."
"Such as--what?"
"Well, such as this."
And then Julian told Valentine of his curious notion that some wandering
soul was beginning to companion him, and described how he had thought he
saw it when he was gazing at the old woman in Grosvenor Place, and again
when he was with the lady of the feathers.
"But," Valentine said, "you say you were staring very hard at the old
woman?"
"Yes."
"That might account for the matter of the first appearance of the flame
in daylight. If you look very steadily at some object, a kind of slight
mirage will often intervene between you and it."
"Perhaps. But I have seen this shadow of a flame when I was not thinking
of it or expecting it."
"When?"
"Just now. As you came into the room I saw it float out at that door."
"You are sure?"
"I believe so. Yes, I am."
"But why should this soul, if soul it be, haunt you?"
"I can't tell. Perhaps, Val, you and I ought not to have played at
spiritualism as we should play at a game. Perhaps--"
Julian paused. He was looking anxious, even worried.
"Suppose we have not stopped in time," he said.
Valentine raised his eyebrows.
"I don't understand."
Julian was standing exactly opposite to him, leaning against the
mantelpiece and looking down at him.
"We ought never to have sat again after our conversation with the
doctor," Julian said. "I feel that to-day, so strongly. I feel that
perhaps we have taken just the one step too far,--the one step in the
dark that may be fatal."
"Fatal! My dear Julian, you are unstrung by the events of the night."
But the calm of Valentine's voice did not seem to sway Julian. He
continued:
"Valentine, now that I am with you, I am attacked by a strange idea."
"What is it?"
"That last night may have its consequences; yes, even though we strive to
forget it, and to forget our sittings. If it should be so! If anything--"
He was curiously upset, and did not seem able to-day to take the
influence of Valentine's mood. Indeed, this new anxiety of his was
only born in Valentine's presence, was communicated apparently by him.
"Everything one does has its following consequence," Julian said.
"It is the fashion to say so. I do not believe it. I believe, on the
contrary, that we often do things with a special view to the doctrine of
consequence, and that our intentions are frustrated by the falseness of
the doctrine. Suppose I kiss a woman. I may do so with intention to make
her love me, or, on the other hand, to make her hate me. The chances are
that she does neither the one nor the other. She simply forgets all about
such a trifle, and we go on shaking hands politely for the rest of our
natural lives. Julian, the memories of most people are like winter
days--very short."
"Perhaps. But there is some hidden thing in life whose memory is
everlasting. All the philosophers say so, especially those who are
inclined to deny the Deity. They put their faith in the chain of cause
and effect. What we have done,--you and I, Valentine,--must have an
effect of some sort."
"It will have a very bad effect upon you, I can see," said Valentine,
smiling, "unless you pull yourself together. Come, this is nonsense.
We have sat once too often, and the consequence followed, and is over:
I went into a trance. I have fortunately come out of it, so the penalty
which you so firmly believe in has been paid. The score is cleared,
Julian."
"I suppose so."
"I have no doubt of it. Let us forget the whole matter, since to remember
it seems likely to affect those devils that make the hell of the physical
man--the nerves. Let us forget it. Where are you dining to-night?"
"Nowhere in particular. I have not thought about it," Julian said, rather
listlessly.
"Dine with me then."
"Yes, Valentine."
Julian hesitated, then added:
"But not in Victoria Street, if you don't mind."
"At the Savoy then; or shall we say the Berkeley?"
"Very well,--the Berkeley."
"At eight o'clock. Good-bye till then. I must ask you to give the shelter
of your roof to Rip till he returns to a more reasonable frame of mind
about me."
When Valentine had gone Julian put on his coat, and walked down to the
club, ostensibly to look at the evening papers, really because he had
a desire to see Marr. His intention, if he did meet the latter, was to
question him closely as to the consequences which might follow upon a
sitting, or series of sittings, undertaken by two people for some reason
unsuited to carry out such an enterprise together. That Marr would be
in the club he felt no shadow of doubt. Apparently the club had for Marr
all the attraction that induces the new member to haunt the smoking and
reading rooms of his freshly acquired home during the first week or two
of its possession. He was incessantly there, as Julian had had reason to
know.
But to-day proved to be an exception. Julian explored the club from end
to end without finding the object of his search. Finally he went to the
hall-porter.
"Is Mr. Marr in the club to-day?"
"No, sir; he has not been in at all since yesterday afternoon."
"Oh, thanks."
Julian felt strongly, even absurdly, disappointed, and found himself
wishing that he possessed Marr's private address. He would certainly have
called upon him. However, he had no idea where Marr lived, so there was
nothing to be done. He went back to his rooms, dressed for dinner, and
was at the Berkeley by five minutes past eight. The restaurant was very
crowded that night, but Valentine had secured a table in the window, and
was waiting when Julian arrived. The table next to theirs was the only
one unoccupied in the room.
The two friends sat down and began to eat rather silently in the midst of
the uproar of conversation round them. Valentine seemed quite unconscious
of the many glances directed towards him. He never succeeded in passing
unnoticed anywhere, and although he had never done anything remarkable,
was one of the best-known men in town merely by virtue of his unusual
personality.
"There's the Victoria Street Saint," murmured a pretty girl to her
companion. "What a fortune that man could make on the stage."
"Yes, or as a pianist," responded the man, rather enviously. "His looks
would crowd St. James's Hall even if he couldn't play a note. I never can
understand how Cresswell manages to have such a complexion in London. He
must take precious good care of himself."
"Saints generally do. You see, we live for time, they for eternity. We
only have to keep the wrinkles at bay for a few years, but they want to
look nice on the Judgment Day."
She was a little actress, and at this point she laughed to indicate
that she had said something smart. As her laugh was dutifully echoed
by the man who was paying for the dinner, she felt deliriously clever
for the rest of the evening.
Presently Julian said:
"I went to the club this afternoon."
"Did you?"
"Yes. I wanted to have a talk with that fellow Marr."
Valentine suddenly put down the glass of champagne which he was in the
act of raising to his lips.
"But surely," he began, with some appearance of haste. Then he seemed to
check himself, and finished calmly:
"You found him, I suppose?"
"No."
"I thought he was perpetually there, apparently on the lookout for you."
"Yes, but to-day he hadn't been in at all. Perhaps he has gone out of
town."
"Ah, probably."
At this moment two men entered the restaurant and strolled towards the
table next to that at which Valentine and Julian sat. One of them knew
Julian and nodded as he passed. He was just on the point of sitting
down and unfolding his napkin when a sudden thought seemed to strike him,
and he came over and said to Julian:
"You remember that dinner at Lady Crichton's, where we met the other
night?"
"Yes."
"Startling bit of news to-night, wasn't it? Damned sudden!"
Julian looked puzzled.
"What--is Lady Crichton ill, then?"
"Lady Crichton! No. I meant about that poor fellow, Marr."
Julian swung round in his seat and regarded the man full in the face.
"Marr! Why, what is it? Has he had an accident?"
"Dead!" the other man said laconically, arranging the gardenia in his
coat, and taking a comprehensive survey of the room.
"Dead!" Julian repeated, without expression. "Dead!"
"Yes. Well, bye-bye. Going on to the Empire!"
He turned to go, but Julian caught his arm.
"Wait a moment. When did he die?"
"Last night. In the dead of the night, or in the early morning."
"What of?"
"They don't know. There's going to be an inquest. The poor chap didn't
die at home, but in a private hotel, in the Euston Road, the 'European.'
He's lying there now. Funny sort of chap, but not bad in his way. I
expect--"
Here the man bent down and murmured something into Julian's ear.
"Well, see you again presently. 'In the midst of life,' eh?"
He lounged away and began applying his intellect to the dissection of a
sardine.
Julian turned round in his chair and again faced Valentine. But he did
not go on eating the cutlet in aspic that lay upon his plate. He sat
looking at Valentine, and at last said:
"How horribly sudden!"
"Yes," Valentine answered sympathetically. "He must have had a weak
heart."
"I dare say. I suppose so. Valentine, I can't realize it."
"It must be difficult. A man whom you saw so recently, and I suppose
apparently quite well."
"Quite. Absolutely."
Julian sat silent again and allowed the waiter to take away his plate
with the untouched cutlet.
"I didn't like the man," he began at last. "But still I'm sorry,
damned sorry, about this. I wanted to see him again. He was an awfully
interesting fellow, Val; and, as I told you, might, I believe, in time
have gained a sort of influence over me,--not like yours, of course,
but he certainly had a power, a strength, about him, even a kind of
fascination. He was not like other people. Ah--" and he exclaimed
impatiently, "I wish you had met him."
"Why?"
"I scarcely know. But I should like you to have had the experience. And
then, you are so intuitive about people, you might have read him. I could
not. And he was a fellow worth reading, that I'm certain of. No, I won't
have any mutton. I seem to have lost my appetite over this."
Valentine calmly continued his dinner, while Julian talked on about Marr
rather excitedly. When they were having coffee Valentine said:
"What shall we do to-night? It is only a quarter past nine. Shall we go
anywhere?"
"Oh no, I think not--wait--yes, we will."
Julian drank his coffee off at a gulp, in a way that would have made him
the despair of an epicure.
"Where shall we go, then?"
Julian answered:
"To the Euston Road. To the 'European.'"
"The 'European'!"
"Yes, Valentine; I must see Marr once more, even dead. And I want you
to see him. It was he who made the strangeness in our lives. But for him
these curious events of the last days would not have happened. And isn't
it peculiar that he must have died just about the time you were in your
trance?"
"I do not see that. The two things were totally unconnected."
"Perhaps. I suppose so. But I must know how he died. I must see what he
looks like dead. You will come with me?"
"If you wish it. But we may not be admitted."
"I will manage that somehow. Let us go."
Valentine got up. He showed neither definite reluctance nor excitement.
They put on their coats in the vestibule and went out into the street.
While they had been dining the weather, fine during the day, had changed,
and rain was falling in sheets. They stood in the doorway while the
hall-porter called a cab. Piccadilly on such a night as this looked
perhaps more decisively dreary than a rain-soaked country lane, or
storm-driven sand-dunes by the sea. For wet humanity, with wispy hair
and swishing petticoats, draggled with desire for shelter, is a piteous
vision as it passes by.
Valentine and Julian regarded it, turning up their coat collars and
instinctively thrusting their hands deep into their pockets. Two soldiers
passed, pursued by a weary and tattered woman, at whom they laughingly
jeered as they adjusted the cloaks over their broad shoulders. They were
hurrying back to barracks, and disregarded the woman's reiterated
exclamation that she would go with them, having no home. A hansom went
by with the glass down, a painted face staring through it upon the yellow
mud that splashed round the horse's feet. Suddenly the horse slipped and
came down. The glass splintered as the painted and now screaming face
was dashed through it. A wet crowd of roughs and pavement vagabonds
gathered and made hoarse remarks on the woman's dress as she was hauled
out in her finery, bleeding and half fainting, her silk gown a prey to
the mud, her half-naked shoulders a hostage to the wind. Two men in
opera-hats, walked towards their club, discussing a divorce case, and
telling funny stories through the rain. A very small, pale, and filthy
boy stood with bare feet upon the kerbstone, and cried damp matches.
"How horrible London is to-night," Julian said as he and Valentine got
into their cab.
"Yes. Why add to our necessary contemplation of its horrors? Why go on
this mad errand?"
"I want you to see Marr," Julian replied, with a curious obstinacy. He
pushed up the trap in the roof.
"Drive to the European Hotel, in the Euston Road," he said to the cabman.
"D' you know it?"
"Yes, sir," the cabman said. He was smiling on his perch as he cracked
his whip and drove towards the Circus.
The glass had been let down and the two friends beheld a continuously
blurred prospect of London framed in racing raindrops and intersected
by the wooden framework of the movable shutter. It was at the same time
fantastic and tumultuous. The glare of light at the Circus shone over
the everlasting procession of converging omnibuses, the everlasting mob
of prostitutes and of respectable citizens waiting to mount into the
vehicles whose paint proclaimed their destination. Active walkers darted
dexterously to and fro over the cobblestones, occasionally turning
sharply to swear at a driver whose cab had bespattered their black
conventionality with clinging dirt. The drivers were impassively
insulting, as became men placed for the moment in a high station of
life. At the door of the Criterion Restaurant an enormously fat and
white bookmaker in a curly hat and diamonds muttered remarks into the
ear of an unshaven music-hall singer. A gigantic "chucker-out" observed
them with the dull gaze of sullen habit, and a beggar-boy whined to them
in vain for alms, then fluttered into obscurity. Fixed with corner stones
upon the wet pavement of the "island" lay in an unwinking row the
contents bill of the evening papers, proclaiming in gigantic black or
red letters the facts of suicide, slander, divorce, murder, railway
accidents, fires, and war complications. Dreary men read them with
dreary, unexcited eyes, then forked out halfpence to raucous youths
whose arms were full of damp sheets of pink paper. A Guardsman kissed
"good-bye" to his trembling sweetheart as he chivalrously assisted her
into a Marylebone 'bus, and two shop-girls, going home from work, nudged
each other and giggled hysterically. Four fat Frenchmen stood in the
porch of the Monico violently gesticulating and talking volubly at the
tops of their voices. Two English undergraduates pushed past them with
a look of contempt, and went speechlessly into the café beyond. A lady
from Paris, all red velvet and white ostrich-tips, smoothed her cheek
with her kid glove meditatively, and glanced about in search of her fate
of the dark and silent hours. And then--Valentine and Julian were in the
comparative dimness of Shaftesbury Avenue--a huge red cross on a black
background started out of the gloom above a playhouse. Julian shuddered
at it visibly.
"You are quite unstrung to-night, Julian," Valentine said. "Let us turn
the cab round and go home."
"No, no, my dear fellow; I am all right. It is only that I see things
to-night much more clearly than usual. I suppose it is owing to something
physical that every side of London seems to have sprung into prominence.
Of course I go about every day in Piccadilly, St. James's Street,
everywhere; but it is as if my eyes had been always shut, and now they
are open. I can see London to-night. And that cross looked so devilishly
ironical up there, as if it were silently laughing at the tumult in the
rain. Don't you feel London to-night, too, Valentine?"
"I always feel it."
"Tragically or comically?"
"I don't know that I could say truly either. Calmly or contemptuously
would rather be the word."
"You are always a philosopher. I can't be a philosopher when I see
those hordes of women standing hour after hour in the rain, and those
boys searching among them. I should be one of those boys probably but
for you."
"If you were, I doubt whether I should feel horrified."
"Not morally horrified, I dare say, but intellectually disgusted. Eh?"
"I am not sure whether I shall permit my intellect quite so much
license in the future as I have permitted it in the past," Valentine
said thoughtfully.
His blue eyes were on Julian, but Julian was gazing out on Oxford Street,
which they were crossing at that moment. Julian, who had apparently
continued dwelling on the train of thoughts waked in him by the sight
of the painted cross, ignored this remark and said:
"It is not my moral sense which shuddered just now, I believe, but my
imagination. Sin is so full of prose, although many clever writers have
represented it as splendidly decorated with poetry. Don't you think so,
Val? And it is the prose of sin I realized so vividly just now."
"The wet flowers on the waiting hats, the cold raindrops on the painted
faces, the damp boots trudging to find sin, the dark clouds pouring a
benediction on it. I know what you mean. But the whole question is one
of weather, I think. Vanity Fair on a hot, sweet summer night, with a
huge golden moon over Westminster, soft airs and dry pavements, would
make you see this city in a different light. And which of the lights is
the true one?"
"I dare say neither."
"Why not both? The smartest coat has a lining, you know. I dare say
there are velvet sins as well as plush sins, and the man who can find
the velvet is the lucky fellow. Sins feel like plush to me, however,
and I dislike plush. So I am not the lucky fellow."
"No, Valentine; you are wrong. I'm pretty sure all virtue is velvet and
all vice is plush. So you stick to velvet."
"I don't know. Ask the next pretty dressmaker you meet. Bloomsbury
is a genteel _inferno_ on a wet night."
They traversed it smoothly on asphalt ways. All the time Valentine was
watching Julian with a fixed and narrow scrutiny, which Julian failed to
notice. The rows of dull houses seemed endless, and endlessly alike.
"I am sure all of them are full of solicitors," said Valentine.
Presently in many fanlights they saw the mystic legend, "Apartments."
Then there were buildings that had an aged air and sported broken
windows. Occasionally, on a background of red glass lit by a gas-jet
from behind, sat the word "Hotel." A certain grimy degradation swam in
the atmosphere of these streets. Their aspect was subtly different from
the Bloomsbury thoroughfares, which look actively church-going, and are
full of the shadows of an everlasting respectability which pays its
water rates and sends occasional conscience-money to the Chancellor of
the Exchequer. People looked furtive, and went in and out of the houses
furtively. They crawled rather than pranced, and their bodies bore
themselves with a depression that seemed indiscreet. Occasionally men
with dripping umbrellas knocked at the doors under the red glass, and
disappeared into narrow passages inhabited by small iron umbrella-stands.
Night brooded here like a dyspeptic raven with moulting tail-feathers
and ragged wings. But London is eloquent of surprises. The cab turned
a corner, and instantly they were in a wide and rain-swept street, long
and straight, and lined with reserved houses, that shrank back from the
publicity of the passing traffic at the end of narrow alleys protected
by iron gates. Over many of these gates appeared lit arches of glass on
which names were inscribed: "Albion Hotel," "Valetta Hotel," "Imperial
Hotel," "Cosmopolitan Hotel,"--great names for small houses. These houses
had front doors with glass panels, and all the panels glowed dimly with
gas.
The cab flashed by them, and Julian read the fleeting names, until his
eyes were suddenly saluted with "European Hotel."
Violently the cabman drew up. The smoking horse was squeezed upon its
haunches, and its feet slithered harshly along the stones. It tried to
sit down, was hauled up by the reins, and stood trembling as the right
wheel of the cab collided with the pavement edge, and the water in the
gutter splashed up as if projected from a spray.
"Beg pardon, gents. I thought it was a bit further on," said the cabby,
leering down cheerfully. "Nice night, sir, ain't it?"
He shook the reluctant drops of moisture from his waterproof-shrouded
hat, and drove off.
Valentine opened the damp iron gate, and they walked up the paved alley
to the door.