"That's all," I said. "We don't seem to have got very far, do we?
Couldn't you--er--trim hats, or take in washing, or something?"
"No--but _you_ could. I mean, we haven't counted in your salary yet,
have we?"
"What salary?"
"Well, whatever they give you for doing whatever you do. What were you
getting before the War?"
"Oh, nothing much."
"Yes, but _how_ much?"
"Really," I began stiffly.
"If you're ashamed to say it right out, just tell me how far it would
take us."
"To about the end of September, I should think."
"Oh, dear! Three more months to go." A frown wrinkled her forehead;
then her brow cleared. "Why, of course we haven't counted in the
holidays."
"They aren't usually an asset."
"Yes, they are--if you spend them with your rich relations. I've got
lots, but I don't think they'd like _you_ much."
"All right," said I shortly; "_keep_ your beastly relations. I shall
go to Uncle Alfred for October. _He_ loves me."
"That leaves November and December," she mused. "Oh, well, there's
nothing else for it--we must quarrel."
"What, now?"
"No, stupid. Every October 31st, by letter. Then I'll go home to
mother, and you'll stay with Uncle Alfred some more. I hope he'll like
it."
"Y-e-s," I said doubtfully. "That would do it, of course. But we
shan't see very much of each other that way, shall we? Still, I
suppose.... Good Heavens!"
"What's the matter?"
"Phyllis, we've forgotten all about income-tax. That means about
another two months to account for."
"My dear, how _awful!_"
There was a pause while we both thought deeply.
"Couldn't you ..." we began together at last, and each waited for the
other to finish.
"Look here," I remarked, "we're both very good at finding things for
the other to do. Isn't there anything we could do together--a job for
'respectable married couple,' you know?"
"Why, of course--caretaking! We'll look after ducal mansions in the
silly season, when everybody's out of town. Then we'll see simply
heaps of one another."
"Yes," I agreed. "And then in the evenings, when you've scrubbed the
steps and the woodwork and polished the brass and dusted the rooms and
cleaned the grate and cooked the meals and tidied the kitchen, and
I've inspected the gas-meter and fed the canary, or whatever it is a
he-care-taker does, we'll dress ourselves up and go and sit in the
ducal apartments and pretend we're 'quality.'"
"And impress our relations by asking them to dinner there," added
Phyllis. "I think it's a lovely idea. We don't seem to be going to
have much money, but we _shall_ see life. I'm beginning to be quite
glad I listened to you yesterday, after all."
* * * * *
=An Accommodating Creature.=
"A Respectable woman wants situation as dairymaid, laundress, or
fowl."
_Cork Constitution_.
* * * * *
[Illustration: =THE GREAT UNCONTROLLED.=
The Mutton. "I HEAR THEY WANT MORE OF US NOW THE MEATLESS DAYS ARE
OFF."
The Beef. "DON'T YOU WORRY. THANKS TO THE PROFITEERS, PEOPLE CAN'T
AFFORD TO EAT US."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE FIRST POTATO-LEAF!]
* * * * *
=THE WATCH DOGS.=