MY LETTERS.
Day was waning into night, when I again unclosed my eyes. A sober calm
had succeeded the burning agitation of the previous hours. I was no
longer a lover--or at least the lover of Catherine Lee. My thoughts
had returned to Moncton Park, and in dreams the fairy figure of
Margaret had flitted beside me, through its green arcades. My heart
was free to love her who so loved me, and by the light of the lamp I
eagerly opened up the letters, which I had grasped during my slumbers
tightly in my hand.
But before I could decipher a line, my worthy friend Dan came to the
rescue. "I cannot permit that, Master Geoffrey," said he; "your eyes
are too weak to read such fine penmanship."
"My good fellow, only a few lines. You must allow me to do that."
"Not a word. What is the use of all this nursing if you will have your
own way? You will be dead at this rate in less than a week."
"What a deal of trouble that would save you!" said I, looking at him
reproachfully.
"Who called it trouble? not I," said honest Dan. "The trouble is a
pleasure, if you will only be tractable and obey those who mean you
well. Now don't you see what comes of acting against reason and common
sense. You would talk to the mistress the whole blessed afternoon.
Several times I came to the door, and it was still talk, talk, talk;
and when my young lady comes home and the old mistress was fairly
tired, and walked out to give her tongue a rest, it was still the same
with the young one--talk, talk, talk, and no end to the talk, till you
well nigh fainted; and if it had not been for God's Providence that
set you off fast asleep, you might have died of the talk fever."
"But I am better now, Daniel: you see the talking did me no harm, but
good."
"Tout! tout! man, a bad excuse, you know, is better than none they
say. But I think it's far worse, for 'tis generally an invented lie,
just to cheat the Devil or one's own conscience; howsomever, I doubt
much whether the Devil was ever cheated by such practices, but did not
always win in the long run by that sort of _stale mate_."
"Are you a chess player?" I asked in some surprise.
"Ay, just in a small way. Old Jenkins the butler and I often have a
tuzzle together in his pantry, which sometimes ends in a _stale
mate_--he! he! he!--Jenkins, who is a dry stick, says that a stale
mate is better than stale fish, or a glass of flat champagne--he! he!
he!"
"I perfectly agree with Jenkins. But don't you see, my good Daniel,
that you blame me for talking with the ladies, and wanting to read a
love-letter; while you are making me act quite as imprudently, by
laughing and talking with you."
"A love-letter did you say?" and he poked his long nose nearly into my
face, and squinted down with a glance of intense curiosity at the open
letter I still held in my hand. "Why that is rather a temptation to a
young gentleman, I must own; cannot I read it for you, sir? I am as
good a scholar as our clerk."
"I don't at all doubt your capabilities, Simpson. But you see, this is
a thing I really can only do for myself. The young lady would not like
her letter to be made public."
"Why, Lord, sir, you don't imagine that I would say a word about it. I
have kept secrets before now; ay, and ladies' secrets too. I was the
man who helped your father to carry off Miss Ellen. It was I held the
horses at the corner of the lane, while he took her out of the
chamber-window. I drove them to----church next morning, and waited at
the doors till they were married; and your poor father gave me five
golden guineas to drink the bride's health. Ah! she was a bride worth
the winning. A prettier woman I never saw: she beat my young lady
hollow, though some folks do think Miss Catherine a beauty."
"You did not witness the ceremony?"
"No, sir; but as I sat on the box of the carriage, I saw old Parson
Roche go up to the aisle in his white gown, with a book in his hand,
and if it were not to marry the young folks, what business had he
there?"
"What, indeed!" thought I. "This man's evidence may be of great value
to me."
I lay silent for some minutes thinking over these circumstances, and
quite forgot my letter until reminded of it by Simpson.
"Well, sir, I'm thinking that I will allow you to read that letter; if
you will just put on my spectacles to protect your eyes from the
light."
"But I could not see with them, Simpson; spectacles, like wives,
seldom suit anybody but the persons to whom they belong. Besides, you
know, old eyes and young eyes never behold the same objects alike."
"Maybe," said the old man. "But do just wait patiently until I can
prop you up in the bed, and put the lamp near enough for you to see
that small writing. Tzet, tzet--what a pity it is that young ladies,
now-a-days, are ashamed of writing a good, legible hand. You will
require a double pair of specs to read yon."
The old man's curiosity was almost as great as his kindness; and I
should have felt annoyed at his peeping and prying over my shoulder,
had I not been certain that he could not decipher, without the aid of
the said spectacles, a single word of the contents. I was getting
tired of his loquacity, and was at last obliged to request him to go,
which he did most reluctantly, begging me as he left the room to have
mercy on my poor eyes.
There was some need of the caution; for the fever had left me so weak
that it was with great difficulty I succeeded in reading Margaretta's
letter.
"Dear Cousin Geoffrey,
"We parted with an assurance of mutual friendship. I shall not
waste words in apologizing for writing to you. As a friend I may
continue to love and value you, convinced that the heart in which
I trust will never condemn me for the confidence I repose in it.
"I have suffered a severe affliction since you left us, in the
death of poor Alice, which took place a fortnight ago. She died in
a very unsatisfactory frame of mind, anxious to the last to behold
her unprincipled husband or Dinah North. The latter, however, has
disappeared, and no trace of her can be discovered.
"There was some secret, perhaps the same that you endeavoured so
fruitlessly to wrest from her, which lay heavily upon the poor
girl's conscience, and which she appeared eager to communicate
after the power of utterance had fled. The repeated mention of her
brother's name during the day which preceded her dissolution, led
me to the conclusion that whatever she had to divulge was
connected with him. But she is gone, and the secret has perished
with her, a circumstance which we may all have cause to regret.
"And this is the first time, Geoffrey, that I have looked upon
death--the death of one, whom from infancy I have loved as a
sister. The sight has filled me with awe and terror; the more so,
because I feel a strange presentiment that my own end is not far
distant.
"This, my dear cousin, you will say is the natural result of
watching the decay of one so young and beautiful as Alice
Mornington--one, who, a few brief months ago, was full of life,
and health, and hope; that her death has brought more forcibly
before me the prospect of my own mortality. Perhaps it is so. I do
not wish to die, Geoffrey; life, for me, has many charms. I love
my dear father tenderly. To his fond eyes I am the light of
life--the sole thing which remains to him of my mother. I would
live for his sake to cherish and comfort him in his old age. I
love the dear old homestead with all its domestic associations,
and I could not bid adieu to you, my dear cousin, without keen
regret.
"And then, the glorious face of nature--the fields, the flowers,
the glad, bright sunbeams, the rejoicing song of birds, the voice
of waters, the whispered melodies of wind-stirred leaves, the
green solitudes of the dim mysterious forest, I love--oh, how I
love them all!
"Yes, these are dear to my heart and memory; yet I wander
discontentedly amid my favourite haunts. My eyes are ever turned
to the earth. A spirit seems to whisper to me in low tones, 'Open
thy arms, mother, to receive thy child.'
"I struggle with these waking phantasies; my eyes are full of
tears. I feel the want of companionship. I long for some friendly
bosom to share my grief and wipe away my tears. The sunshine of my
heart has vanished. Ah, my dear friend, how earnestly I long for
your return! Do write, and let us know how you have sped. My
father came back to the Hall the day after the funeral of poor
Alice. He marvels like me at your long silence. He has important
news to communicate which I must not forestall.
"Write soon, and let us know that you are well and happy; a line
from you will cheer my drooping heart.
"Yours, in the sincerity of love,
"Margaretta Moncton.
"Moncton Park, July 22, 18--."
I read this letter over several times, until the characters became
misty, and I could no longer form them into words. A thousand times I
pressed it to my lips, and vowed eternal fidelity to that dear writer.
Yet what a mournful tale it told! The love but half-concealed, was
apparent in every line. I felt bitterly, that I was the cause of her
dejection; that hopeless affection for me was undermining her health.
I would write to her instantly--would tell her all. Alas! my hand,
unnerved by long illness, could no longer guide the pen--and how could
I employ the hand of another? I cursed my unlucky accident, and the
unworthy cause of it: and in order to divert my thoughts from this
melancholy subject, I eagerly tore open Sir Alexander's letter.
The paper fell from my grasp, I was not able to read.
Mrs. Hepburn appeared like a good angel, followed by honest Dan,
bearing candles, and the most refreshing of all viands to an
invalid--a delicious cup of fragrant tea, the very smell of which was
reviving; and whilst deliberately sipping the contents of my second
cup, I requested Mrs. Hepburn, as a great favour, to read to me Sir
Alexander's letter.
"Perhaps it may contain family secrets?" said she, with an inquiring
look, whilst her hand rested rather tenaciously upon the closely
written sheets.
"After the confidence which we have mutually reposed in each other, my
dear madam, I can have no secret to conceal. You are acquainted with
my private history, and I flatter myself, that neither you, nor your
amiable niece, are indifferent to my future welfare."
"You only do us justice, Geoffrey," said the kind woman,
affectionately pressing my hand, after re-adjusting my pillows. "I
love you for your mother's sake; I prize you for your own; and I hope
you will allow me to consider you in the light of that son, of whom
Heaven early deprived me."
"You make a rich man of me at once," I cried, respectfully kissing her
hand. "How can I be poor--while I possess so many excellent friends?
Robert Moncton, with all his wealth, is a beggar, when compared to the
hitherto despised Geoffrey."
"Well, let us leave off complimenting each other," said Mrs. Hepburn,
laughing; "and please to lie down like a good boy and compose
yourself, and listen attentively to what your uncle has to say to you."
"My dear Geoff.
"What the deuce, man, has happened to you, that we have received
no tidings from you? Have you and old Dinah eloped together on the
back of a broomstick. The old hag's disappearance looks rather
suspicious. Madge does little else than pine and fret for your
return. I begin to feel quite jealous of you in that quarter.
"I have a long tale to tell you, and scarcely know where to begin.
Next to taking doctor's stuff, I detest letter-writing; and were
you not a great favourite, the pens, ink, and paper might go to
the bottom of the river, before I would employ them to communicate
a single thought.
"I had a very pleasant journey to London, which terminated in
a very unpleasant visit to your _worthy_ uncle. It was not
without great repugnance that I condescended to enter his house,
particularly when I reflected on the errand which took me there.
He received me with one of his blandest smiles, and inquired after
my health with such affectionate interest, that it would have led
a stranger to imagine he really wished me well, instead of
occupying a snug corner in the family vault.
"How I abhor this man's hypocrisy! Bad as he is, that is the very
worst feature in his character. I cut all his compliments short,
however, by informing him that the object of my visit was one of a
very unpleasant nature, which required his immediate attention.
"He looked very cold and spiteful. 'I anticipate your business,'
said he; 'Geoffrey Moncton, I am informed, has found an asylum
with you, and I suppose you are anxious to effect a reconciliation
between us. If such be the purport of your visit, Sir Alexander,
your journey must prove in vain. I never will forgive that
ungrateful young man, nor admit him again into my presence.'
"'You have injured him too deeply, Robert,' said I, calmly (for
you know, Geoff, that it is of little use flying into a passion
with your cold-blooded uncle: he is not generous enough to get
insulted and show fight like another man) 'Geoffrey does not wish
it,' I replied, 'and I should scorn to ask it in his name.'
"The man of law looked incredulous, but did not choose to venture
a reply.
"'It is not of Geoffrey Moncton, the independent warm-hearted
orphan, I wished to speak, who, thank God! has pluck enough to
take his own part, and speak for himself--it is of one, who is a
disgrace to his name and family. I mean your son, Theophilus.'
"'Really, Sir Alexander, you take a great deal of trouble about
matters which do not concern you,' (he said this with a sarcastic
sneer) 'my son is greatly indebted to you for such disinterested
kindness.'
"His cool impudence provoked me beyond endurance: I felt a wicked
pleasure in retaliation, which God forgive me! was far from a
Christian spirit. But I despised the rascal too much at that
moment to pity him.
"'My interference in this matter concerns me more nearly than you
imagine, Mr. Moncton,' said I. 'Your son's unfortunate wife
attempted suicide, but was prevented in the act of drowning
herself by the nephew you have traduced and treated so basely.'
"'Damn her! why did he not let her drown! thundered forth your
uncle.'
"'Because his heart was not hardened in villainy like your own.
Your daughter-in-law now lies dying at my house, and I wish to
transfer the responsibility from my hands into your own.'
"'It was your fault that they ever met,' cried he: 'your love of
low society which threw them together. Theophilus was not a man to
make such a fool of himself--such an infernal fool!'
"And then the torrent burst. The man became transformed into the
demon. He stamped and raved--and tore his hair, and cursed with
the most horrid and blasphemous oaths, the son who had followed so
closely in his own steps. Such a scene I never before
witnessed--such a spectacle of human depravity may it never be my
lot to behold again. In the midst of his incoherent ravings, he
actually threatened, as the consummation of his indignation
against his son, to make you his heir.
"Such is the contradiction inherent in our fallen nature, that he
would exalt the man he hates, to revenge himself upon the son who
has given the death-blow to the selfish pride which has marked his
crooked path through life.
"I left him in deep disgust. It made me think very humbly of
myself. Faith, Geoff, when I look back on my own early career, I
begin to think that we are a bad set; and without you and Madge
raise the moral tone of the family character there is small chance
of any of the other members finding their way to heaven.
"I spent a couple of quiet days with my old friend Onslow, and
then commenced my journey home. At a small village about thirty
miles from London, I was overtaken by such a violent storm of
thunder and rain, that I had to put up at the only inn in the
place for the night.
"In the passage I was accosted by an old man of pleasing
demeanour, and with somewhat of a foreign aspect, who inquired if
he had the honour of speaking to Sir Alexander Moncton? I said
yes, but that he had the advantage of me, as I believed him to be
a perfect stranger.
"He appeared embarrassed, and said, that he did not wonder at my
forgetting him, as it was only in a subordinate situation I had
ever seen him, and that was many years ago.
"I now looked hard at the man, and a conviction of often having
seen him before flashed into my mind. It was an image connected
with bygone years--years of folly and dissipation.
"'Surely you are not William Walters, who for such a long time was
the friend and confidant of Robert Moncton.'
"'The same, at your service.'
"'Mr. Walters,' said I, turning on my heel, 'I have no wish to
resume the acquaintance.'
"'You are right,' replied he, and was silent for a minute or so,
then resumed, in a grave and humble tone; 'Sir Alexander, I trust
we are both better men, or the experience and sorrows of years
have been given to us in vain. I can truly say, that I have deeply
repented of my former sinful life, and I trust that my repentance
has been accepted by that God before whom we must both soon
appear. Still, I cannot blame you, for wishing to have no further
intercourse with one whom you only knew as an unprincipled man.
But for the sake of a young man, who, if living, is a near
connection of yours, I beg you to listen patiently to what I have
to say.'
"'If your communication has reference to Geoffrey, the son of
Edward Moncton, and nephew to Robert, I am entirely at your
service.'
"'He is the man! I have left a comfortable home in the United
States, and returned to England with the sole object in view, of
settling a moral debt which has lain a long time painfully on my
conscience. I was just on my way to Moncton Park to speak to you
on this important subject.'
"My dear Geoff, you may imagine the feelings with which I heard
this announcement. Had I been alone I should have snapped my
fingers, whistled, shouted for joy--anything that would have
diminished with safety the suffocating feeling at my heart. I was
so glad--I never knew how dear you were to me until then. So I
invited the solemn, and rather puritanical-looking white-headed
man to partake of my dinner, and spend the evening in my
apartment, in order to get out of him all that I could concerning
you. The result was most satisfactory. There was no need of bribes
or nut-crackers; he was anxious to make a clean breast of it, for
which I gave him ample absolution.
"Here is his confession, as well as I can remember it:--
"'My acquaintance with Robert Moncton commenced at school. I was
the only son of a rich banker in the city of Norwich. My father
was generous to a fault, and allowed me more pocket-money than my
young companions could boast of receiving from their friends at
home. My father had risen, by a train of fortunate circumstances,
from a very humble station in life, and was ostentatiously proud
of his wealth. He was particularly anxious for me to pass for the
son of a very rich man at school, which he fancied would secure
for me powerful friends, and their interest in my journey through
life.
"'I was not at all averse to his plans, which I carried out to
their fullest extent, and went by the name of _Ready-Money
Jack_, among my school-mates, who I have no doubt whispered
behind my back, that--fools and their money are soon parted; for
you know, Sir Alexander, this is the way of the world. And there
is no place in which the world and its selfish maxims are more
fully exemplified than in a large boarding-school.
"'I had not been long at school when the two Monctons were
admitted to the same class with myself. Edward was a dashing,
eloquent, brave lad; more remarkable for a fine appearance and an
admirable temper, than for any particular talent. He was a very
popular boy, but somehow or other we did not take to each other.
"'The boyish vanity fostered by my father, made me wish to be
considered the first lad in the school; a notion which Edward took
good care to keep down; and fretted and galled by his assumption
of superiority, I turned to Robert, who was everything but
friendly to Edward, to support my cause and back me in my
quarrels.
"'Robert was a handsome, gentlemanly-looking lad, but quite the
reverse of Edward. He hated rough play, learned his lessons with
indefatigable industry, and took good care to keep himself out of
harm's way. He was the pattern boy of the school. The favourite of
all the teachers. He possessed a grave, specious manner--a cold
quiet reserve, which imposed upon the ignorant and unsuspecting;
and his love of money was a passion which drew all the blood from
his stern proud heart. He saw that I was frank and vain, and he
determined to profit by my weakness. I did not want for natural
capacity, but I was a sad idler.
"'Robert was shrewd and persevering, and I paid him handsomely for
doing my sums and writing my Latin exercises. We became firm
friends, and I loved him for years with more sincerity than he
deserved.
"'As I advanced towards manhood, my poor father met with great
losses; and on the failure of a large firm with which his own was
principally connected, he became a bankrupt.
"'Solely dependent upon my rich father, without any fixed aim or
object in life, I had just made a most imprudent marriage, when
his death, which happened almost immediately upon his reverse of
fortune, awoke me to the melancholy reality which stared me in the
face.
"'In my distress I wrote to Robert Moncton, who had just commenced
practice at his old office in Hatton Garden. He answered my appeal
to his charity promptly, and gave me a seat in his office as
engrossing clerk, with a very liberal salary which, I need not
assure you, was most thankfully accepted by a person in my reduced
circumstances. This place I filled entirely to his satisfaction
for fifteen years, until I was the father of twelve children.
"'My salary was large, but, alas! it was the wages of sin. All
Robert Moncton's dirty work was confided to my hands. I was his
creature--the companion of his worst hours--and he paid me
liberally for my devotion to his interests. But for all this,
there were moments in my worthless life when better feelings
prevailed; when I loathed the degrading trammels in which I was
bound; and often, on the bosom of a dear and affectionate wife, I
lamented bitterly my fallen state.
"'About this period Edward Moncton died, and Robert was appointed
guardian to his orphan child. Property there was none--barely
sufficient to pay the expenses of the funeral. Robert supplied
from his own purse L50, towards the support of the young widow,
until she could look about and obtain a situation as a day
governess or a teacher in a school, for which she was eminently
qualified.
"'I never shall forget the unnatural joy displayed by Robert on
this melancholy occasion: "Thank God! William," said he, clapping
me on the shoulder, after he had read the letter which poor Mrs.
Moncton wrote to inform him of her sudden bereavement, 'Edward is
dead. There is only one stumbling-block left in my path, and I
will soon kick that out of the way.'
"'Three months had scarcely elapsed before I went to ---- with
Robert Moncton, to attend the funeral of his sister-in-law. The
sight of the fine boy who acted as chief mourner in that mournful
ceremony cut me to the heart. I was a father myself--a fond
father--and I longed to adopt the poor, friendless child. But what
could a man do who has a dozen of his own?
"'As we were on our road to ----, Robert had confided to me his
plans for setting aside his nephew's claims to the estates and
title of Moncton, in case you should die without a male heir. The
secluded life which Mrs. Moncton had led since her marriage; her
want of relatives to interest themselves in her behalf, and the
dissipated habits of her husband, who had lost all his fine
property at the gaming-table, made the scheme not only feasible,
but presented few obstacles to its accomplishment.
"'Shocked at this piece of daring villainy, I dissembled my
indignation, and while I appeared to acquiesce in his views, I
secretly determined to befriend, if possible, the innocent child.
"'The night prior to the funeral, he called me into his private
office, and after chatting over a matter of little consequence, he
said to me in a careless manner:
"'"By the by, Walters, Basset told me the other day, that you had
taken a craze to go to America. This is your wife's doings, I
suppose. I don't suffer Mrs. Moncton to settle such matters for
me. But is it true?"
"'I said that it had been on my mind for a long time. The want of
funds alone preventing me from emigrating with my family.'
"'"If that is all, the want of money need not hinder you. But
mind, Walters, I am not generous, I expect something for my gold.
You have been faithful to me, and I am anxious to show you that I
am not insensible to your merit. We are old friends, Walter--we
understand each other; we are not troubled with nice scruples, and
dare to call things by their right names. But to the point.
"'"This boy of my brother's, as I was telling you, is a thorn in
my side, which you can remove."
"'"In what way?" said I, in a tone of alarm.
"'"Don't look blue," he replied, and he laughed. "I kill with the
tongue and the pen, and leave to fools the pistol and the knife.
You must go to the parish of ---- among the Derby hills, where
Edward was married, and where he resided, enacting love in a
cottage with his pretty, penniless bride, until after this boy,
Geoffrey, was born; and subtract, if possible, the leaves from the
church-register that contain these important entries. Do this with
your usual address, and I will meet all the expenses of your
intended emigration.'
"'The offer was tempting to a poor man, but I still hesitated,
conjuring up a thousand difficulties which either awoke his mirth
or scorn.
"'"The only difficulty that I can find in the business," said he,
"is your unwillingness to undertake it. The miserable old wretch
employed as clerk in the church is quite superannuated. A small
bribe will win him to your purpose, especially as Mr. Roche, the
incumbent, is just now at the sea-side, whither he is gone in the
delusive hope of curing old age. Possessed of these documents, I
will defy the boy to substantiate his claims, provided that he
lives to be a man; for I have carefully destroyed all the other
documents which could lead to prove the legality of his title. The
old gardener and his nurse must be persuaded to accompany you to
America. Old Roche is on his last legs--from him I shall soon have
nothing to fear. What do you say to my proposal--yes or no?"
"'"Yes," I stammered out, "I will undertake it, as it is to be the
last affair of the kind in which I mean to engage."
"'"You will forget it," said he, "before you have half crossed the
Atlantic, and can begin the world with a new character. I will
give you five hundred pounds to commence with."
"'This iniquitous bargain concluded, I went down after the funeral
to ----, on my mission. As my employer anticipated, a few
shillings to the old clerk placed the church-register at my
disposal, from which I carefully cut the leaves (which, in that
quiet, out-of-the way hamlet, were not likely to be missed) which
contained the entries. In a small hut among the hills I found the
old gardener and his widowed daughter, who had been nurse to
Geoffrey and his mother, whom I talked into a fever of enthusiasm
about America, and the happy life which people led there, which
ended in my engaging them, to accompany me. Good and valuable
servants they both proved. They are since dead.'
"'And what became of the entries? Did you destroy them?'
"'I tried to do it, Sir Alexander, but it seemed as if an angel
stayed my hand, and yielding to my impressions at the moment, I
placed them carefully among my private papers. Here they are;' and
taking from his breast-pocket an old-fashioned black leathern
wallet, he placed them in my hand.
"'Here, too,' said he, 'is an affidavit, made by Michael Alzure on
his dying bed, before competent witnesses, declaring that he was
present with his daughter Mary, when the ceremony took place.'
"'This is enough,' said I, joyfully, shaking the old sinner
heartily by the hand. 'The king shall have his own again. But how
did you hoodwink that sagacious hawk, Robert Moncton?'
"'He was from home when I returned to London, attending the
assizes at Bury. I found a letter from him containing a draft upon
his banker for five hundred pounds, and requesting me to deposit
the papers in the iron chest in the garret of which I had the key.
I wrote in reply, that I had done so, and he was perfectly
satisfied with my sincerity, which during fifteen years I had
never given him the least cause to doubt.
"The next week, I sailed for the United States with my family,
determined, from henceforth, to drop all connection with Robert
Moncton, and to endeavour to obtain an honest living.
"'I am now a rich and prosperous man--my children are married and
settled on good farms, in the same neighbourhood, and are in the
enjoyment of the common comforts and many of the luxuries of life.
Still, that little orphan boy haunted me: I could not be happy
while I knew that I had been the means of doing him a foul injury,
and I determined, as soon as I knew that the lad must be of age,
to make a voyage to England, and place in your hands the proofs I
held of his legitimacy.
"'Your powerful assistance, Sir Alexander, and these papers, will
I trust restore to him his lawful place in society, and I am here
to witness against Robert Moncton's villainy.'
"Well, Sir Geoffrey Moncton, that will be, what do you say to your
old uncle's budget? Is not this news worth the postage? Worth
throwing up one's cap and crying hurrah! and better still,
dropping drown upon your knees in the solitude of your own
chamber, and whispering in your clasped hands, 'Thank God! for all
his mercies to me, a sinner?' If you omit the prayer, I have not
omitted it for you; for most fervently I blessed the Almighty
father for this signal instance of his love.
"I returned to the Park, so elated with the result of my journey,
that I could scarcely sympathize in the grief of my poor girl, for
the death of her foster-sister, which took place during my
absence.
"Old Dinah is off. Perhaps gone somewhat before her time to her
appointed place.
"It is useless for you to remain longer in Derbyshire, as we
already possess all you want to know, and you must lose no time in
commencing a suit against your uncle for conspiracy in order to
defraud you out of your rights. Robert's character will never
stand the test of this infamous exposure.
"My sweet Madge looks ill and delicate, and, like the old father,
pines to see you again. You young scamp! you have taken a strange
hold on the heart of your attached kinsman and faithful friend,
"Alexander Moncton."
I made my kind friend, Mrs. Hepburn, read over this important letter
twice. It was the longest, I verily believe, that the worthy scribe
ever penned in his life, and which nothing but his affection for me,
could have induced him to write.
"God bless him!" I cried fervently, "how I long to see him again, and
thank him from my very heart for all he has done for me!"
I was so elated, that I wanted to leave my bed instantly, and commence
my journey to the Park. This was, however, but a momentary delusion: I
was too weak, when I made the trial, to sit upright, or even to hold a
pen, which was the most provoking of the two.
Mrs. Hepburn, at my earnest solicitation, wrote to Sir Alexander a
long and circumstantial account of all that had befallen me since I
left Moncton. That night was full of restless tossings to and fro. I
sought rest, but found it not; nay, I could not even think with
calmness, and the result was, as might have been expected, a great
increase of fever, and for several days I was not only worse, but in
considerable danger.
Nothing could be more tantalizing than this provoking relapse. A
miserable presentiment of evil clouded my mind: my anxiety to write to
Margaretta was painfully intense, and this was a species of
communication which I could not very well convey through another.
To this unfortunate delay, I have attributed much of the sorrows of
after years. Our will is free to plan. Our opportunities of action are
in the hands of God. What I most ardently desired to do I was
prevented from doing by physical weakness. How, then, can any man
affirm that his destiny is in his own hands, when circumstances form a
chain around him, as strong as fate, and the mind battles in vain
against a host of trifles, despicable enough when viewed singly, but
when taken in combination, possessing gigantic strength?
Another painful week wore slowly away, at the end of which I was able
to sit up in a loose dressing-gown for several hours during the day.
I lost not a moment in writing to Margaretta directly I was able to
hold a pen. I informed her of all that had passed between me and
Catherine, and laid open my heart to her, without the least reserve.
Deeming myself unworthy of her love, I left all to her generosity. I
dispatched my letter with a thousand uncomfortable misgivings as to
what effect it might produce upon the sensitive mind of my little
cousin.
To write a long letter to George Harrison was the next duty I had to
perform. But when I reflected on the delight which my communication
could not fail to convey, this was not only an easy, but a delightful
task. I had already arrived at the second closely written sheet, when
a light tap at the door of the room announced the presence of Kate
Lee.
"What, busy writing still, Geoffrey? What will honest Dan say to this
rebellious conduct on the part of his patient? You must lay aside pens
and paper for this day. Your face is flushed and feverish. Don't shake
your head; my word is despotic in this house--I must be obeyed."
"Wait a few minutes, dear Miss Lee, and your will shall be absolute.
It was because I am writing of you, that my letter has run to such an
unconscionable length."
"Of me, Geoffrey?"
"Yes, of you, my charming friend."
"Nay, you are joking, Mr. Moncton. You would never distress me, by
writing of me to strangers?"
"Strangers! oh no; but this is to one who is most dear to us both."
Catherine turned very pale.
"Geoffrey, I hope that you have not said anything that I could wish
unsaid?"
"Do not look like a scared dove, sweet Kate. Have a little patience,
and you shall read the letter."
"That is asking too much. I will trust to your honour--that innate
sense of delicacy which I know you possess."
"You shall read the letter--I insist upon it. If you do not like it, I
will write another. But you must sit down by me and listen to what I
have to tell you, of my poor friend's history."
She turned her glistening eyes upon me, full of grateful thanks, and
seated herself beside me on the couch. I then recounted to her the
history which George had confided to me, though the narration was
often interrupted by the sighs and tears of my attentive auditor.
After the melancholy tale was told, a long silence ensued. Poor Kate
was too busy with her own thoughts to speak. I put the letter I had
been writing into her hands, and retired to my own chamber, which
opened into the one in which we were sitting, whilst she perused it.
It was a simple statement of the facts related above. I had left him
to draw from them what inference he pleased. When I returned an hour
afterward to the sitting-room, which had been fitted up as such
entirely for my accommodation, the windows opening into a balcony
which ran along the whole front of the house, I found Kate leaning
upon the railing, with the open letter still in her hand.
Her fine eyes were raised and full of tears, but she looked serene and
happy, her beautiful face reminding me of an April sun just emerging
from a soft fleecy cloud, which dimmed, only to increase by softening,
the glory which it could not conceal.
"Well, dear Kate, may I finish my letter to George--for I must call
him so still?"
"No."
"Why not," said I, surprised, and half angry.
"Because I mean to finish it myself. Will you give me permission?"
"By all means: it will make him so happy."
"And you are not jealous?" And as she said this, she bent upon me a
curious and searching glance.
"Not now: a few weeks ago I should have been. To tell you the truth,
dear Kate, I am too egotistical a fellow to love one who does not love
me. I truly rejoice in the anticipated happiness of my friend."
Methought she looked a little disappointed, but recovering herself she
added quickly--
"This is as it should be, yet I must own that my woman's vanity is a
little hurt at the coolness of your philosophy. We all love power,
Geoffrey, and do not like to lose it. Yet I am sincerely glad that you
have conquered an attachment which would have rendered us both
miserable. No fear of a broken heart in your case."
"Such things have been, and may be again, Kate, but I believe them to
belong more to the poetry than the reality of life. Hearts are made of
tough materials. They don't choose to break in the right place, and
just when and where we want them."
She laughed, and asked when I thought I should be able to commence my
journey to Moncton Park!
"In a few days I hope. I feel growing better every hour; my mind
recovers elasticity with returning strength. But how I shall ever
repay you, dear Miss Lee, and your excellent aunt, for your care and
kindness puzzles me."
"Geoffrey, your accident has been productive of great good to us all;
so say no more about it. I, for one, consider myself in your debt. You
have made two friends, whom cruel destiny had separated, most happy."