When the disciples separated after the meal, notwithstanding their
fears, they did not realise that it was a farewell. They sought their
lodgings. Only John, Peter, and James accompanied the Master when He
left the town in the dark night and descended the valley to the foot of
the Mount of Olives. There was a garden there. White stones lay
between the savin trees and the weeping cypresses, fresh spring grass
covered the ground. Jesus said to His companions: "Stay here a
little." He Himself went farther into the garden. The sky was covered
by a thin veil of cloud, so that the moon shed a pale light over the
earth. The town on the mountain rose up dark and still; no sound was
to be heard except the rippling of the brook Kedron in the valley.
Jesus stood and looked up through the trees towards heaven. He
breathed heavily, and drops of perspiration stood on His brow. He felt
a great agony, an agony He had never before known. Had He not often
thought of death, and in His mind felt quite reconciled to it? Did He
not know that the Heavenly Father would receive Him? Only He still
belonged to this sweet life below, and still the way was open to Him to
escape death. Is His soul so weak now that it is troubled by the
prospect of the enemy at hand, ready to seize Him? Can He not go over
the mountain to Jericho, into the wilderness, to the sea? No, not
flight. Of His own free will He is to appear before the judges in
order to stand by what He said. Ah! but this surrender to the powers
He had offended means death. He sank down on the ground so that His
head touched the grass, as if He would draw the earth to Him with eager
arms. "Must it be, O Father? Fain would I stay with men in order to
bring them nearer to Me. Who will guide My disciples, still so weak?
Guard them from evil, but do not take them from the world. Let them
live and spread Thy name. If it is possible, let Me stay with them.
But if it must be, take this agony of soul from Me and stand by Me.
But I must not demand aught, My God, only humbly entreat. If it is Thy
will that I shall suffer all human sorrow and pain, then Thy will be
done. Accept this sacrifice for all who have provoked Thee. If Thou
desirest it, I will take the sins of the world upon Me, and atone for
them that Thou mayest pardon. But if it may be avoided, Father, My
Father who art in heaven, have mercy on Thy Son, who has proclaimed Thy
mercy." So He prayed, and in His infinite distress He longed for His
disciples. He went to them and found them asleep. They were sleeping
like innocent children, and knew nothing of His terrible struggle. He
woke Peter, and said: "I am wellnigh perishing with sorrow. Surely you
might watch with Me in this hour."
The disciple pulled himself together with some difficulty and shook the
others. But when Jesus looked at the poor fellows. He thought: "What
can they do for Me?" He left them and went away, in order to fight
through it alone. And again He prayed: "Help Me, Lord; Oh, My God,
forsake Me not." But Heaven was silent, the loneliness was
intolerable, and lie once more went back to His disciples. They were
again fast asleep. They rested so peacefully, tired out by the cruel
world, that Jesus thought, Well, let them sleep. Drops, like blood,
ran down His forehead and fell on the ground. A third time He turned
to the Father: "Forsaken of all, on Thee alone I call. There is none
to hear Me in My agony. They are all asleep, and the clash of spears
is on the road. Lord God, send Thine angels to protect Me!"
Not a leaf stirred; there was not a breath of air. Heaven remained
deaf and dumb.
"It is the silent word of God. To His will I submit."