CHAPTER I.

GULLIVER’S TRAVELS

into several

REMOTE NATIONS OF THE WORLD

BY JONATHAN SWIFT, D.D.,

dean of st. patrick’s, dublin.

[_First published in_ 1726–7.]

cover

Contents

THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.

A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON.

PART I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, GLUBBDUBDRIB, LUGGNAGG AND JAPAN.

PART IV. A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS.

THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.

[_As given in the original edition_.]

The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient and

intimate friend; there is likewise some relation between us on the

mother’s side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing weary of the

concourse of curious people coming to him at his house in Redriff, made

a small purchase of land, with a convenient house, near Newark, in

Nottinghamshire, his native country; where he now lives retired, yet in

good esteem among his neighbours.

Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his father

dwelt, yet I have heard him say his family came from Oxfordshire; to

confirm which, I have observed in the churchyard at Banbury in that

county, several tombs and monuments of the Gullivers.

Before he quitted Redriff, he left the custody of the following papers

in my hands, with the liberty to dispose of them as I should think fit.

I have carefully perused them three times. The style is very plain and

simple; and the only fault I find is, that the author, after the manner

of travellers, is a little too circumstantial. There is an air of truth

apparent through the whole; and indeed the author was so distinguished

for his veracity, that it became a sort of proverb among his neighbours

at Redriff, when any one affirmed a thing, to say, it was as true as if

Mr. Gulliver had spoken it.

By the advice of several worthy persons, to whom, with the author’s

permission, I communicated these papers, I now venture to send them

into the world, hoping they may be, at least for some time, a better

entertainment to our young noblemen, than the common scribbles of

politics and party.

This volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not made

bold to strike out innumerable passages relating to the winds and

tides, as well as to the variations and bearings in the several

voyages, together with the minute descriptions of the management of the

ship in storms, in the style of sailors; likewise the account of

longitudes and latitudes; wherein I have reason to apprehend, that Mr.

Gulliver may be a little dissatisfied. But I was resolved to fit the

work as much as possible to the general capacity of readers. However,

if my own ignorance in sea affairs shall have led me to commit some

mistakes, I alone am answerable for them. And if any traveller hath a

curiosity to see the whole work at large, as it came from the hands of

the author, I will be ready to gratify him.

As for any further particulars relating to the author, the reader will

receive satisfaction from the first pages of the book.

RICHARD SYMPSON.

A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON.

Written in the Year 1727.

I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be called

to it, that by your great and frequent urgency you prevailed on me to

publish a very loose and uncorrect account of my travels, with

directions to hire some young gentleman of either university to put

them in order, and correct the style, as my cousin Dampier did, by my

advice, in his book called “A Voyage round the world.” But I do not

remember I gave you power to consent that any thing should be omitted,

and much less that any thing should be inserted; therefore, as to the

latter, I do here renounce every thing of that kind; particularly a

paragraph about her majesty Queen Anne, of most pious and glorious

memory; although I did reverence and esteem her more than any of human

species. But you, or your interpolator, ought to have considered, that

it was not my inclination, so was it not decent to praise any animal of

our composition before my master _Houyhnhnm_: And besides, the fact was

altogether false; for to my knowledge, being in England during some

part of her majesty’s reign, she did govern by a chief minister; nay

even by two successively, the first whereof was the lord of Godolphin,

and the second the lord of Oxford; so that you have made me say the

thing that was not. Likewise in the account of the academy of

projectors, and several passages of my discourse to my master

_Houyhnhnm_, you have either omitted some material circumstances, or

minced or changed them in such a manner, that I do hardly know my own

work. When I formerly hinted to you something of this in a letter, you

were pleased to answer that you were afraid of giving offence; that

people in power were very watchful over the press, and apt not only to

interpret, but to punish every thing which looked like an _innuendo_

(as I think you call it). But, pray how could that which I spoke so

many years ago, and at about five thousand leagues distance, in another

reign, be applied to any of the _Yahoos_, who now are said to govern

the herd; especially at a time when I little thought, or feared, the

unhappiness of living under them? Have not I the most reason to

complain, when I see these very _Yahoos_ carried by _Houyhnhnms_ in a

vehicle, as if they were brutes, and those the rational creatures? And

indeed to avoid so monstrous and detestable a sight was one principal

motive of my retirement hither.

Thus much I thought proper to tell you in relation to yourself, and to

the trust I reposed in you.

I do, in the next place, complain of my own great want of judgment, in

being prevailed upon by the entreaties and false reasoning of you and

some others, very much against my own opinion, to suffer my travels to

be published. Pray bring to your mind how often I desired you to

consider, when you insisted on the motive of public good, that the

_Yahoos_ were a species of animals utterly incapable of amendment by

precept or example: and so it has proved; for, instead of seeing a full

stop put to all abuses and corruptions, at least in this little island,

as I had reason to expect; behold, after above six months warning, I

cannot learn that my book has produced one single effect according to

my intentions. I desired you would let me know, by a letter, when party

and faction were extinguished; judges learned and upright; pleaders

honest and modest, with some tincture of common sense, and Smithfield

blazing with pyramids of law books; the young nobility’s education

entirely changed; the physicians banished; the female _Yahoos_

abounding in virtue, honour, truth, and good sense; courts and levees

of great ministers thoroughly weeded and swept; wit, merit, and

learning rewarded; all disgracers of the press in prose and verse

condemned to eat nothing but their own cotton, and quench their thirst

with their own ink. These, and a thousand other reformations, I firmly

counted upon by your encouragement; as indeed they were plainly

deducible from the precepts delivered in my book. And it must be owned,

that seven months were a sufficient time to correct every vice and

folly to which _Yahoos_ are subject, if their natures had been capable

of the least disposition to virtue or wisdom. Yet, so far have you been

from answering my expectation in any of your letters; that on the

contrary you are loading our carrier every week with libels, and keys,

and reflections, and memoirs, and second parts; wherein I see myself

accused of reflecting upon great state folk; of degrading human nature

(for so they have still the confidence to style it), and of abusing the

female sex. I find likewise that the writers of those bundles are not

agreed among themselves; for some of them will not allow me to be the

author of my own travels; and others make me author of books to which I

am wholly a stranger.

I find likewise that your printer has been so careless as to confound

the times, and mistake the dates, of my several voyages and returns;

neither assigning the true year, nor the true month, nor day of the

month: and I hear the original manuscript is all destroyed since the

publication of my book; neither have I any copy left: however, I have

sent you some corrections, which you may insert, if ever there should

be a second edition: and yet I cannot stand to them; but shall leave

that matter to my judicious and candid readers to adjust it as they

please.

I hear some of our sea _Yahoos_ find fault with my sea-language, as not

proper in many parts, nor now in use. I cannot help it. In my first

voyages, while I was young, I was instructed by the oldest mariners,

and learned to speak as they did. But I have since found that the sea

_Yahoos_ are apt, like the land ones, to become new-fangled in their

words, which the latter change every year; insomuch, as I remember upon

each return to my own country their old dialect was so altered, that I

could hardly understand the new. And I observe, when any _Yahoo_ comes

from London out of curiosity to visit me at my house, we neither of us

are able to deliver our conceptions in a manner intelligible to the

other.

If the censure of the _Yahoos_ could any way affect me, I should have

great reason to complain, that some of them are so bold as to think my

book of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and have gone so

far as to drop hints, that the _Houyhnhnms_ and _Yahoos_ have no more

existence than the inhabitants of Utopia.

Indeed I must confess, that as to the people of _Lilliput_,

_Brobdingrag_ (for so the word should have been spelt, and not

erroneously _Brobdingnag_), and _Laputa_, I have never yet heard of any

_Yahoo_ so presumptuous as to dispute their being, or the facts I have

related concerning them; because the truth immediately strikes every

reader with conviction. And is there less probability in my account of

the _Houyhnhnms_ or _Yahoos_, when it is manifest as to the latter,

there are so many thousands even in this country, who only differ from

their brother brutes in _Houyhnhnmland_, because they use a sort of

jabber, and do not go naked? I wrote for their amendment, and not their

approbation. The united praise of the whole race would be of less

consequence to me, than the neighing of those two degenerate

_Houyhnhnms_ I keep in my stable; because from these, degenerate as

they are, I still improve in some virtues without any mixture of vice.

Do these miserable animals presume to think, that I am so degenerated

as to defend my veracity? _Yahoo_ as I am, it is well known through all

_Houyhnhnmland_, that, by the instructions and example of my

illustrious master, I was able in the compass of two years (although I

confess with the utmost difficulty) to remove that infernal habit of

lying, shuffling, deceiving, and equivocating, so deeply rooted in the

very souls of all my species; especially the Europeans.

I have other complaints to make upon this vexatious occasion; but I

forbear troubling myself or you any further. I must freely confess,

that since my last return, some corruptions of my _Yahoo_ nature have

revived in me by conversing with a few of your species, and

particularly those of my own family, by an unavoidable necessity; else

I should never have attempted so absurd a project as that of reforming

the _Yahoo_ race in this kingdom; but I have now done with all such

visionary schemes for ever.

_April_ 2, 1727

PART I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT.

CHAPTER I.

The author gives some account of himself and family. His first

inducements to travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life, gets

safe on shore in the country of Lilliput; is made a prisoner, and

carried up the country.

My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire; I was the third of

five sons. He sent me to Emanuel College in Cambridge at fourteen years

old, where I resided three years, and applied myself close to my

studies; but the charge of maintaining me, although I had a very scanty

allowance, being too great for a narrow fortune, I was bound apprentice

to Mr. James Bates, an eminent surgeon in London, with whom I continued

four years. My father now and then sending me small sums of money, I

laid them out in learning navigation, and other parts of the

mathematics, useful to those who intend to travel, as I always believed

it would be, some time or other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr.

Bates, I went down to my father: where, by the assistance of him and my

uncle John, and some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise

of thirty pounds a year to maintain me at Leyden: there I studied

physic two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long

voyages.

Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my good master,

Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham Pannel,

commander; with whom I continued three years and a half, making a

voyage or two into the Levant, and some other parts. When I came back I

resolved to settle in London; to which Mr. Bates, my master, encouraged

me, and by him I was recommended to several patients. I took part of a

small house in the Old Jewry; and being advised to alter my condition,

I married Mrs. Mary Burton, second daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton,

hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four hundred pounds for

a portion.

But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having few

friends, my business began to fail; for my conscience would not suffer

me to imitate the bad practice of too many among my brethren. Having

therefore consulted with my wife, and some of my acquaintance, I

determined to go again to sea. I was surgeon successively in two ships,

and made several voyages, for six years, to the East and West Indies,

by which I got some addition to my fortune. My hours of leisure I spent

in reading the best authors, ancient and modern, being always provided

with a good number of books; and when I was ashore, in observing the

manners and dispositions of the people, as well as learning their

language; wherein I had a great facility, by the strength of my memory.

The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary of

the sea, and intended to stay at home with my wife and family. I

removed from the Old Jewry to Fetter Lane, and from thence to Wapping,

hoping to get business among the sailors; but it would not turn to

account. After three years expectation that things would mend, I

accepted an advantageous offer from Captain William Prichard, master of

the Antelope, who was making a voyage to the South Sea. We set sail

from Bristol, May 4, 1699, and our voyage was at first very prosperous.

It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader with

the particulars of our adventures in those seas; let it suffice to

inform him, that in our passage from thence to the East Indies, we were

driven by a violent storm to the north-west of Van Diemen’s Land. By an

observation, we found ourselves in the latitude of 30 degrees 2 minutes

south. Twelve of our crew were dead by immoderate labour and ill food;

the rest were in a very weak condition. On the 5th of November, which

was the beginning of summer in those parts, the weather being very

hazy, the seamen spied a rock within half a cable’s length of the ship;

but the wind was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and

immediately split. Six of the crew, of whom I was one, having let down

the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the ship and the

rock. We rowed, by my computation, about three leagues, till we were

able to work no longer, being already spent with labour while we were

in the ship. We therefore trusted ourselves to the mercy of the waves,

and in about half an hour the boat was overset by a sudden flurry from

the north. What became of my companions in the boat, as well as of

those who escaped on the rock, or were left in the vessel, I cannot

tell; but conclude they were all lost. For my own part, I swam as

fortune directed me, and was pushed forward by wind and tide. I often

let my legs drop, and could feel no bottom; but when I was almost gone,

and able to struggle no longer, I found myself within my depth; and by

this time the storm was much abated. The declivity was so small, that I

walked near a mile before I got to the shore, which I conjectured was

about eight o’clock in the evening. I then advanced forward near half a

mile, but could not discover any sign of houses or inhabitants; at

least I was in so weak a condition, that I did not observe them. I was

extremely tired, and with that, and the heat of the weather, and about

half a pint of brandy that I drank as I left the ship, I found myself

much inclined to sleep. I lay down on the grass, which was very short

and soft, where I slept sounder than ever I remembered to have done in

my life, and, as I reckoned, about nine hours; for when I awaked, it

was just day-light. I attempted to rise, but was not able to stir: for,

as I happened to lie on my back, I found my arms and legs were strongly

fastened on each side to the ground; and my hair, which was long and

thick, tied down in the same manner. I likewise felt several slender

ligatures across my body, from my arm-pits to my thighs. I could only

look upwards; the sun began to grow hot, and the light offended my

eyes. I heard a confused noise about me; but in the posture I lay,

could see nothing except the sky. In a little time I felt something

alive moving on my left leg, which advancing gently forward over my

breast, came almost up to my chin; when, bending my eyes downwards as

much as I could, I perceived it to be a human creature not six inches

high, with a bow and arrow in his hands, and a quiver at his back. In

the mean time, I felt at least forty more of the same kind (as I

conjectured) following the first. I was in the utmost astonishment, and

roared so loud, that they all ran back in a fright; and some of them,

as I was afterwards told, were hurt with the falls they got by leaping

from my sides upon the ground. However, they soon returned, and one of

them, who ventured so far as to get a full sight of my face, lifting up

his hands and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but

distinct voice, _Hekinah degul_: the others repeated the same words

several times, but then I knew not what they meant. I lay all this

while, as the reader may believe, in great uneasiness. At length,

struggling to get loose, I had the fortune to break the strings, and

wrench out the pegs that fastened my left arm to the ground; for, by

lifting it up to my face, I discovered the methods they had taken to

bind me, and at the same time with a violent pull, which gave me

excessive pain, I a little loosened the strings that tied down my hair

on the left side, so that I was just able to turn my head about two

inches. But the creatures ran off a second time, before I could seize

them; whereupon there was a great shout in a very shrill accent, and

after it ceased I heard one of them cry aloud _Tolgo phonac_; when in

an instant I felt above a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand,

which, pricked me like so many needles; and besides, they shot another

flight into the air, as we do bombs in Europe, whereof many, I suppose,

fell on my body, (though I felt them not), and some on my face, which I

immediately covered with my left hand. When this shower of arrows was

over, I fell a groaning with grief and pain; and then striving again to

get loose, they discharged another volley larger than the first, and

some of them attempted with spears to stick me in the sides; but by

good luck I had on a buff jerkin, which they could not pierce. I

thought it the most prudent method to lie still, and my design was to

continue so till night, when, my left hand being already loose, I could

easily free myself: and as for the inhabitants, I had reason to believe

I might be a match for the greatest army they could bring against me,

if they were all of the same size with him that I saw. But fortune

disposed otherwise of me. When the people observed I was quiet, they

discharged no more arrows; but, by the noise I heard, I knew their

numbers increased; and about four yards from me, over against my right

ear, I heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at work;

when turning my head that way, as well as the pegs and strings would

permit me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and a half from the

ground, capable of holding four of the inhabitants, with two or three

ladders to mount it: from whence one of them, who seemed to be a person

of quality, made me a long speech, whereof I understood not one

syllable. But I should have mentioned, that before the principal person

began his oration, he cried out three times, _Langro dehul san_ (these

words and the former were afterwards repeated and explained to me);

whereupon, immediately, about fifty of the inhabitants came and cut the

strings that fastened the left side of my head, which gave me the

liberty of turning it to the right, and of observing the person and

gesture of him that was to speak. He appeared to be of a middle age,

and taller than any of the other three who attended him, whereof one

was a page that held up his train, and seemed to be somewhat longer

than my middle finger; the other two stood one on each side to support

him. He acted every part of an orator, and I could observe many periods

of threatenings, and others of promises, pity, and kindness. I answered

in a few words, but in the most submissive manner, lifting up my left

hand, and both my eyes to the sun, as calling him for a witness; and

being almost famished with hunger, having not eaten a morsel for some

hours before I left the ship, I found the demands of nature so strong

upon me, that I could not forbear showing my impatience (perhaps

against the strict rules of decency) by putting my finger frequently to

my mouth, to signify that I wanted food. The _hurgo_ (for so they call

a great lord, as I afterwards learnt) understood me very well. He

descended from the stage, and commanded that several ladders should be

applied to my sides, on which above a hundred of the inhabitants

mounted and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets full of meat,

which had been provided and sent thither by the king’s orders, upon the

first intelligence he received of me. I observed there was the flesh of

several animals, but could not distinguish them by the taste. There

were shoulders, legs, and loins, shaped like those of mutton, and very

well dressed, but smaller than the wings of a lark. I ate them by two

or three at a mouthful, and took three loaves at a time, about the

bigness of musket bullets. They supplied me as fast as they could,

showing a thousand marks of wonder and astonishment at my bulk and

appetite. I then made another sign, that I wanted drink. They found by

my eating that a small quantity would not suffice me; and being a most

ingenious people, they slung up, with great dexterity, one of their

largest hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the

top; I drank it off at a draught, which I might well do, for it did not

hold half a pint, and tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much

more delicious. They brought me a second hogshead, which I drank in the

same manner, and made signs for more; but they had none to give me.

When I had performed these wonders, they shouted for joy, and danced

upon my breast, repeating several times as they did at first, _Hekinah

degul_. They made me a sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads,

but first warning the people below to stand out of the way, crying

aloud, _Borach mevolah_; and when they saw the vessels in the air,

there was a universal shout of _Hekinah degul_. I confess I was often

tempted, while they were passing backwards and forwards on my body, to

seize forty or fifty of the first that came in my reach, and dash them

against the ground. But the remembrance of what I had felt, which

probably might not be the worst they could do, and the promise of

honour I made them—for so I interpreted my submissive behaviour—soon

drove out these imaginations. Besides, I now considered myself as bound

by the laws of hospitality, to a people who had treated me with so much

expense and magnificence. However, in my thoughts I could not

sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals, who

durst venture to mount and walk upon my body, while one of my hands was

at liberty, without trembling at the very sight of so prodigious a

creature as I must appear to them. After some time, when they observed

that I made no more demands for meat, there appeared before me a person

of high rank from his imperial majesty. His excellency, having mounted

on the small of my right leg, advanced forwards up to my face, with

about a dozen of his retinue; and producing his credentials under the

signet royal, which he applied close to my eyes, spoke about ten

minutes without any signs of anger, but with a kind of determinate

resolution, often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards found, was

towards the capital city, about half a mile distant; whither it was

agreed by his majesty in council that I must be conveyed. I answered in

few words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with my hand that was

loose, putting it to the other (but over his excellency’s head for fear

of hurting him or his train) and then to my own head and body, to

signify that I desired my liberty. It appeared that he understood me

well enough, for he shook his head by way of disapprobation, and held

his hand in a posture to show that I must be carried as a prisoner.

However, he made other signs to let me understand that I should have

meat and drink enough, and very good treatment. Whereupon I once more

thought of attempting to break my bonds; but again, when I felt the

smart of their arrows upon my face and hands, which were all in

blisters, and many of the darts still sticking in them, and observing

likewise that the number of my enemies increased, I gave tokens to let

them know that they might do with me what they pleased. Upon this, the

_hurgo_ and his train withdrew, with much civility and cheerful

countenances. Soon after I heard a general shout, with frequent

repetitions of the words _Peplom selan_; and I felt great numbers of

people on my left side relaxing the cords to such a degree, that I was

able to turn upon my right, and to ease myself with making water; which

I very plentifully did, to the great astonishment of the people; who,

conjecturing by my motion what I was going to do, immediately opened to

the right and left on that side, to avoid the torrent, which fell with

such noise and violence from me. But before this, they had daubed my

face and both my hands with a sort of ointment, very pleasant to the

smell, which, in a few minutes, removed all the smart of their arrows.

These circumstances, added to the refreshment I had received by their

victuals and drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I

slept about eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was no

wonder, for the physicians, by the emperor’s order, had mingled a

sleepy potion in the hogsheads of wine.

It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on the

ground, after my landing, the emperor had early notice of it by an

express; and determined in council, that I should be tied in the manner

I have related, (which was done in the night while I slept;) that

plenty of meat and drink should be sent to me, and a machine prepared

to carry me to the capital city.

This resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and I am

confident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on the like

occasion. However, in my opinion, it was extremely prudent, as well as

generous: for, supposing these people had endeavoured to kill me with

their spears and arrows, while I was asleep, I should certainly have

awaked with the first sense of smart, which might so far have roused my

rage and strength, as to have enabled me to break the strings wherewith

I was tied; after which, as they were not able to make resistance, so

they could expect no mercy.

These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a great

perfection in mechanics, by the countenance and encouragement of the

emperor, who is a renowned patron of learning. This prince has several

machines fixed on wheels, for the carriage of trees and other great

weights. He often builds his largest men of war, whereof some are nine

feet long, in the woods where the timber grows, and has them carried on

these engines three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five hundred

carpenters and engineers were immediately set at work to prepare the

greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood raised three inches

from the ground, about seven feet long, and four wide, moving upon

twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the arrival of this

engine, which, it seems, set out in four hours after my landing. It was

brought parallel to me, as I lay. But the principal difficulty was to

raise and place me in this vehicle. Eighty poles, each of one foot

high, were erected for this purpose, and very strong cords, of the

bigness of packthread, were fastened by hooks to many bandages, which

the workmen had girt round my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs.

Nine hundred of the strongest men were employed to draw up these cords,

by many pulleys fastened on the poles; and thus, in less than three

hours, I was raised and slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All

this I was told; for, while the operation was performing, I lay in a

profound sleep, by the force of that soporiferous medicine infused into

my liquor. Fifteen hundred of the emperor’s largest horses, each about

four inches and a half high, were employed to draw me towards the

metropolis, which, as I said, was half a mile distant.

About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a very

ridiculous accident; for the carriage being stopped a while, to adjust

something that was out of order, two or three of the young natives had

the curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep; they climbed up

into the engine, and advancing very softly to my face, one of them, an

officer in the guards, put the sharp end of his half-pike a good way up

into my left nostril, which tickled my nose like a straw, and made me

sneeze violently; whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was

three weeks before I knew the cause of my waking so suddenly. We made a

long march the remaining part of the day, and, rested at night with

five hundred guards on each side of me, half with torches, and half

with bows and arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The

next morning at sunrise we continued our march, and arrived within two

hundred yards of the city gates about noon. The emperor, and all his

court, came out to meet us; but his great officers would by no means

suffer his majesty to endanger his person by mounting on my body.

At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient temple,

esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom; which, having been

polluted some years before by an unnatural murder, was, according to

the zeal of those people, looked upon as profane, and therefore had

been applied to common use, and all the ornaments and furniture carried

away. In this edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great gate

fronting to the north was about four feet high, and almost two feet

wide, through which I could easily creep. On each side of the gate was

a small window, not above six inches from the ground: into that on the

left side, the king’s smith conveyed fourscore and eleven chains, like

those that hang to a lady’s watch in Europe, and almost as large, which

were locked to my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over against

this temple, on the other side of the great highway, at twenty feet

distance, there was a turret at least five feet high. Here the emperor

ascended, with many principal lords of his court, to have an

opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I could not see them. It

was reckoned that above a hundred thousand inhabitants came out of the

town upon the same errand; and, in spite of my guards, I believe there

could not be fewer than ten thousand at several times, who mounted my

body by the help of ladders. But a proclamation was soon issued, to

forbid it upon pain of death. When the workmen found it was impossible

for me to break loose, they cut all the strings that bound me;

whereupon I rose up, with as melancholy a disposition as ever I had in

my life. But the noise and astonishment of the people, at seeing me

rise and walk, are not to be expressed. The chains that held my left

leg were about two yards long, and gave me not only the liberty of

walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle, but, being fixed within

four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at my full

length in the temple.

CHAPTER II.

The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, comes to

see the author in his confinement. The emperor’s person and habit

described. Learned men appointed to teach the author their language. He

gains favour by his mild disposition. His pockets are searched, and his

sword and pistols taken from him.

When I found myself on my feet, I looked about me, and must confess I

never beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country around appeared

like a continued garden, and the enclosed fields, which were generally

forty feet square, resembled so many beds of flowers. These fields were

intermingled with woods of half a stang, [301] and the tallest trees,

as I could judge, appeared to be seven feet high. I viewed the town on

my left hand, which looked like the painted scene of a city in a

theatre.

I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of

nature; which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had last

disburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between urgency and

shame. The best expedient I could think of, was to creep into my house,

which I accordingly did; and shutting the gate after me, I went as far

as the length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my body of that

uneasy load. But this was the only time I was ever guilty of so

uncleanly an action; for which I cannot but hope the candid reader will

give some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered

my case, and the distress I was in. From this time my constant practice

was, as soon as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the

full extent of my chain; and due care was taken every morning before

company came, that the offensive matter should be carried off in

wheel-barrows, by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would not

have dwelt so long upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first sight,

may appear not very momentous, if I had not thought it necessary to

justify my character, in point of cleanliness, to the world; which, I

am told, some of my maligners have been pleased, upon this and other

occasions, to call in question.

When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house, having

occasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended from the

tower, and advancing on horseback towards me, which had like to have

cost him dear; for the beast, though very well trained, yet wholly

unused to such a sight, which appeared as if a mountain moved before

him, reared up on its hinder feet: but that prince, who is an excellent

horseman, kept his seat, till his attendants ran in, and held the

bridle, while his majesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he

surveyed me round with great admiration; but kept beyond the length of

my chain. He ordered his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared,

to give me victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of

vehicles upon wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles

and soon emptied them all; twenty of them were filled with meat, and

ten with liquor; each of the former afforded me two or three good

mouthfuls; and I emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was contained

in earthen vials, into one vehicle, drinking it off at a draught; and

so I did with the rest. The empress, and young princes of the blood of

both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their

chairs; but upon the accident that happened to the emperor’s horse,

they alighted, and came near his person, which I am now going to

describe. He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail, than any of

his court; which alone is enough to strike an awe into the beholders.

His features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and arched

nose, his complexion olive, his countenance erect, his body and limbs

well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his deportment

majestic. He was then past his prime, being twenty-eight years and

three quarters old, of which he had reigned about seven in great

felicity, and generally victorious. For the better convenience of

beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my face was parallel to his,

and he stood but three yards off: however, I have had him since many

times in my hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in the description.

His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion of it between the

Asiatic and the European; but he had on his head a light helmet of

gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He held his sword

drawn in his hand to defend himself, if I should happen to break loose;

it was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were gold

enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and

articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The ladies

and courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the spot they

stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread upon the ground,

embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His imperial majesty spoke

often to me, and I returned answers: but neither of us could understand

a syllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers present (as I

conjectured by their habits), who were commanded to address themselves

to me; and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the least

smattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish,

Italian, and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose. After about two

hours the court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent

the impertinence, and probably the malice of the rabble, who were very

impatient to crowd about me as near as they durst; and some of them had

the impudence to shoot their arrows at me, as I sat on the ground by

the door of my house, whereof one very narrowly missed my left eye. But

the colonel ordered six of the ringleaders to be seized, and thought no

punishment so proper as to deliver them bound into my hands; which some

of his soldiers accordingly did, pushing them forward with the

butt-ends of their pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right

hand, put five of them into my coat-pocket; and as to the sixth, I made

a countenance as if I would eat him alive. The poor man squalled

terribly, and the colonel and his officers were in much pain,

especially when they saw me take out my penknife: but I soon put them

out of fear; for, looking mildly, and immediately cutting the strings

he was bound with, I set him gently on the ground, and away he ran. I

treated the rest in the same manner, taking them one by one out of my

pocket; and I observed both the soldiers and people were highly

delighted at this mark of my clemency, which was represented very much

to my advantage at court.

Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay on

the ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight; during which

time, the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six

hundred beds of the common measure were brought in carriages, and

worked up in my house; a hundred and fifty of their beds, sewn

together, made up the breadth and length; and these were four double:

which, however, kept me but very indifferently from the hardness of the

floor, that was of smooth stone. By the same computation, they provided

me with sheets, blankets, and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who

had been so long inured to hardships.

As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought

prodigious numbers of rich, idle, and curious people to see me; so that

the villages were almost emptied; and great neglect of tillage and

household affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty had not

provided, by several proclamations and orders of state, against this

inconveniency. He directed that those who had already beheld me should

return home, and not presume to come within fifty yards of my house,

without license from the court; whereby the secretaries of state got

considerable fees.

In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to debate what

course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by a

particular friend, a person of great quality, who was as much in the

secret as any, that the court was under many difficulties concerning

me. They apprehended my breaking loose; that my diet would be very

expensive, and might cause a famine. Sometimes they determined to

starve me; or at least to shoot me in the face and hands with poisoned

arrows, which would soon despatch me; but again they considered, that

the stench of so large a carcass might produce a plague in the

metropolis, and probably spread through the whole kingdom. In the midst

of these consultations, several officers of the army went to the door

of the great council-chamber, and two of them being admitted, gave an

account of my behaviour to the six criminals above-mentioned; which

made so favourable an impression in the breast of his majesty and the

whole board, in my behalf, that an imperial commission was issued out,

obliging all the villages, nine hundred yards round the city, to

deliver in every morning six beeves, forty sheep, and other victuals

for my sustenance; together with a proportionable quantity of bread,

and wine, and other liquors; for the due payment of which, his majesty

gave assignments upon his treasury:—for this prince lives chiefly upon

his own demesnes; seldom, except upon great occasions, raising any

subsidies upon his subjects, who are bound to attend him in his wars at

their own expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred

persons to be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed for their

maintenance, and tents built for them very conveniently on each side of

my door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred tailors should

make me a suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country; that six

of his majesty’s greatest scholars should be employed to instruct me in

their language; and lastly, that the emperor’s horses, and those of the

nobility and troops of guards, should be frequently exercised in my

sight, to accustom themselves to me. All these orders were duly put in

execution; and in about three weeks I made a great progress in learning

their language; during which time the emperor frequently honoured me

with his visits, and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me.

We began already to converse together in some sort; and the first words

I learnt, were to express my desire “that he would please give me my

liberty;” which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I

could comprehend it, was, “that this must be a work of time, not to be

thought on without the advice of his council, and that first I must

_lumos kelmin pesso desmar lon emposo_;” that is, swear a peace with

him and his kingdom. However, that I should be used with all kindness.

And he advised me to “acquire, by my patience and discreet behaviour,

the good opinion of himself and his subjects.” He desired “I would not

take it ill, if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me;

for probably I might carry about me several weapons, which must needs

be dangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so prodigious a

person.” I said, “His majesty should be satisfied; for I was ready to

strip myself, and turn up my pockets before him.” This I delivered part

in words, and part in signs. He replied, “that, by the laws of the

kingdom, I must be searched by two of his officers; that he knew this

could not be done without my consent and assistance; and he had so good

an opinion of my generosity and justice, as to trust their persons in

my hands; that whatever they took from me, should be returned when I

left the country, or paid for at the rate which I would set upon them.”

I took up the two officers in my hands, put them first into my

coat-pockets, and then into every other pocket about me, except my two

fobs, and another secret pocket, which I had no mind should be

searched, wherein I had some little necessaries that were of no

consequence to any but myself. In one of my fobs there was a silver

watch, and in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. These

gentlemen, having pen, ink, and paper, about them, made an exact

inventory of every thing they saw; and when they had done, desired I

would set them down, that they might deliver it to the emperor. This

inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is, word for word,

as follows:

“_Imprimis_: In the right coat-pocket of the great man-mountain” (for

so I interpret the words _quinbus flestrin_,) “after the strictest

search, we found only one great piece of coarse-cloth, large enough to

be a foot-cloth for your majesty’s chief room of state. In the left

pocket we saw a huge silver chest, with a cover of the same metal,

which we, the searchers, were not able to lift. We desired it should be

opened, and one of us stepping into it, found himself up to the mid leg

in a sort of dust, some part whereof flying up to our faces set us both

a sneezing for several times together. In his right waistcoat-pocket we

found a prodigious bundle of white thin substances, folded one over

another, about the bigness of three men, tied with a strong cable, and

marked with black figures; which we humbly conceive to be writings,

every letter almost half as large as the palm of our hands. In the left

there was a sort of engine, from the back of which were extended twenty

long poles, resembling the pallisados before your majesty’s court:

wherewith we conjecture the man-mountain combs his head; for we did not

always trouble him with questions, because we found it a great

difficulty to make him understand us. In the large pocket, on the right

side of his middle cover” (so I translate the word _ranfulo_, by which

they meant my breeches,) “we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the

length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the

pillar; and upon one side of the pillar, were huge pieces of iron

sticking out, cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make

of. In the left pocket, another engine of the same kind. In the smaller

pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white and

red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be

silver, were so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could hardly

lift them. In the left pocket were two black pillars irregularly

shaped: we could not, without difficulty, reach the top of them, as we

stood at the bottom of his pocket. One of them was covered, and seemed

all of a piece: but at the upper end of the other there appeared a

white round substance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within

each of these was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which, by our

orders, we obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be

dangerous engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that

in his own country his practice was to shave his beard with one of

these, and cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we

could not enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits

cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the

pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain,

with a wonderful kind of engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw

out whatever was at the end of that chain; which appeared to be a

globe, half silver, and half of some transparent metal; for, on the

transparent side, we saw certain strange figures circularly drawn, and

thought we could touch them, till we found our fingers stopped by the

lucid substance. He put this engine into our ears, which made an

incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we conjecture it is

either some unknown animal, or the god that he worships; but we are

more inclined to the latter opinion, because he assured us, (if we

understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that

he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He called it his oracle,

and said, it pointed out the time for every action of his life. From

the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for a fisherman, but

contrived to open and shut like a purse, and served him for the same

use: we found therein several massy pieces of yellow metal, which, if

they be real gold, must be of immense value.

“Having thus, in obedience to your majesty’s commands, diligently

searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his waist made of

the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung

a sword of the length of five men; and on the right, a bag or pouch

divided into two cells, each cell capable of holding three of your

majesty’s subjects. In one of these cells were several globes, or

balls, of a most ponderous metal, about the bigness of our heads, and

requiring a strong hand to lift them: the other cell contained a heap

of certain black grains, but of no great bulk or weight, for we could

hold above fifty of them in the palms of our hands.

“This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of the

man-mountain, who used us with great civility, and due respect to your

majesty’s commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the

eighty-ninth moon of your majesty’s auspicious reign.

Clefrin Frelock, Marsi Frelock.”

When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me,

although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars.

He first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. In

the mean time he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops (who

then attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their bows and

arrows just ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for my eyes

were wholly fixed upon his majesty. He then desired me to draw my

scimitar, which, although it had got some rust by the sea water, was,

in most parts, exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the

troops gave a shout between terror and surprise; for the sun shone

clear, and the reflection dazzled their eyes, as I waved the scimitar

to and fro in my hand. His majesty, who is a most magnanimous prince,

was less daunted than I could expect: he ordered me to return it into

the scabbard, and cast it on the ground as gently as I could, about six

feet from the end of my chain. The next thing he demanded was one of

the hollow iron pillars; by which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it

out, and at his desire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use of

it; and charging it only with powder, which, by the closeness of my

pouch, happened to escape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience against

which all prudent mariners take special care to provide,) I first

cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off in the

air. The astonishment here was much greater than at the sight of my

scimitar. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck dead; and even

the emperor, although he stood his ground, could not recover himself

for some time. I delivered up both my pistols in the same manner as I

had done my scimitar, and then my pouch of powder and bullets; begging

him that the former might be kept from fire, for it would kindle with

the smallest spark, and blow up his imperial palace into the air. I

likewise delivered up my watch, which the emperor was very curious to

see, and commanded two of his tallest yeomen of the guards to bear it

on a pole upon their shoulders, as draymen in England do a barrel of

ale. He was amazed at the continual noise it made, and the motion of

the minute-hand, which he could easily discern; for their sight is much

more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his learned men about

it, which were various and remote, as the reader may well imagine

without my repeating; although indeed I could not very perfectly

understand them. I then gave up my silver and copper money, my purse,

with nine large pieces of gold, and some smaller ones; my knife and

razor, my comb and silver snuff-box, my handkerchief and journal-book.

My scimitar, pistols, and pouch, were conveyed in carriages to his

majesty’s stores; but the rest of my goods were returned me.

I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped their

search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes use

for the weakness of my eyes,) a pocket perspective, and some other

little conveniences; which, being of no consequence to the emperor, I

did not think myself bound in honour to discover, and I apprehended

they might be lost or spoiled if I ventured them out of my possession.

CHAPTER III.

The author diverts the emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in a

very uncommon manner. The diversions of the court of Lilliput

described. The author has his liberty granted him upon certain

conditions.

My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the emperor and

his court, and indeed upon the army and people in general, that I began

to conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a short time. I took all

possible methods to cultivate this favourable disposition. The natives

came, by degrees, to be less apprehensive of any danger from me. I

would sometimes lie down, and let five or six of them dance on my hand;

and at last the boys and girls would venture to come and play at

hide-and-seek in my hair. I had now made a good progress in

understanding and speaking the language. The emperor had a mind one day

to entertain me with several of the country shows, wherein they exceed

all nations I have known, both for dexterity and magnificence. I was

diverted with none so much as that of the rope-dancers, performed upon

a slender white thread, extended about two feet, and twelve inches from

the ground. Upon which I shall desire liberty, with the reader’s

patience, to enlarge a little.

This diversion is only practised by those persons who are candidates

for great employments, and high favour at court. They are trained in

this art from their youth, and are not always of noble birth, or

liberal education. When a great office is vacant, either by death or

disgrace (which often happens) five or six of those candidates

petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a

dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest, without falling,

succeeds in the office. Very often the chief ministers themselves are

commanded to show their skill, and to convince the emperor that they

have not lost their faculty. Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut

a caper on the straight rope, at least an inch higher than any other

lord in the whole empire. I have seen him do the summerset several

times together, upon a trencher fixed on a rope which is no thicker

than a common packthread in England. My friend Reldresal, principal

secretary for private affairs, is, in my opinion, if I am not partial,

the second after the treasurer; the rest of the great officers are much

upon a par.

These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof great

numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three candidates break

a limb. But the danger is much greater, when the ministers themselves

are commanded to show their dexterity; for, by contending to excel

themselves and their fellows, they strain so far that there is hardly

one of them who has not received a fall, and some of them two or three.

I was assured that, a year or two before my arrival, Flimnap would

infallibly have broke his neck, if one of the king’s cushions, that

accidentally lay on the ground, had not weakened the force of his fall.

There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before the

emperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular occasions. The

emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads of six inches long;

one is blue, the other red, and the third green. These threads are

proposed as prizes for those persons whom the emperor has a mind to

distinguish by a peculiar mark of his favour. The ceremony is performed

in his majesty’s great chamber of state, where the candidates are to

undergo a trial of dexterity very different from the former, and such

as I have not observed the least resemblance of in any other country of

the new or old world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends

parallel to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one,

sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backward and

forward, several times, according as the stick is advanced or

depressed. Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the stick, and his

first minister the other; sometimes the minister has it entirely to

himself. Whoever performs his part with most agility, and holds out the

longest in leaping and creeping, is rewarded with the blue-coloured

silk; the red is given to the next, and the green to the third, which

they all wear girt twice round about the middle; and you see few great

persons about this court who are not adorned with one of these girdles.

The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been

daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very

feet without starting. The riders would leap them over my hand, as I

held it on the ground; and one of the emperor’s huntsmen, upon a large

courser, took my foot, shoe and all; which was indeed a prodigious

leap. I had the good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a very

extraordinary manner. I desired he would order several sticks of two

feet high, and the thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me;

whereupon his majesty commanded the master of his woods to give

directions accordingly; and the next morning six woodmen arrived with

as many carriages, drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of these

sticks, and fixing them firmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure,

two feet and a half square, I took four other sticks, and tied them

parallel at each corner, about two feet from the ground; then I

fastened my handkerchief to the nine sticks that stood erect; and

extended it on all sides, till it was tight as the top of a drum; and

the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches higher than the

handkerchief, served as ledges on each side. When I had finished my

work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his best horses

twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this plain. His majesty

approved of the proposal, and I took them up, one by one, in my hands,

ready mounted and armed, with the proper officers to exercise them. As

soon as they got into order they divided into two parties, performed

mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords, fled and

pursued, attacked and retired, and in short discovered the best

military discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them and

their horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so much

delighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several

days, and once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of

command; and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress herself

to let me hold her in her close chair within two yards of the stage,

when she was able to take a full view of the whole performance. It was

my good fortune, that no ill accident happened in these entertainments;

only once a fiery horse, that belonged to one of the captains, pawing

with his hoof, struck a hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping,

he overthrew his rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them

both, and covering the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with

the other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse that fell

was strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt; and I

repaired my handkerchief as well as I could: however, I would not trust

to the strength of it any more, in such dangerous enterprises.

About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was

entertaining the court with this kind of feat, there arrived an express

to inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding near the place

where I was first taken up, had seen a great black substance lying on

the ground, very oddly shaped, extending its edges round, as wide as

his majesty’s bedchamber, and rising up in the middle as high as a man;

that it was no living creature, as they at first apprehended, for it

lay on the grass without motion; and some of them had walked round it

several times; that, by mounting upon each other’s shoulders, they had

got to the top, which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they

found that it was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be

something belonging to the man-mountain; and if his majesty pleased,

they would undertake to bring it with only five horses. I presently

knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive this

intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching the shore after our

shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I came to the place

where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a string to my

head while I was rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was swimming,

fell off after I came to land; the string, as I conjecture, breaking by

some accident, which I never observed, but thought my hat had been lost

at sea. I entreated his imperial majesty to give orders it might be

brought to me as soon as possible, describing to him the use and the

nature of it: and the next day the waggoners arrived with it, but not

in a very good condition; they had bored two holes in the brim, within

an inch and half of the edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes;

these hooks were tied by a long cord to the harness, and thus my hat

was dragged along for above half an English mile; but, the ground in

that country being extremely smooth and level, it received less damage

than I expected.

Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that part of

his army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be in

readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner.

He desired I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as far asunder

as I conveniently could. He then commanded his general (who was an old

experienced leader, and a great patron of mine) to draw up the troops

in close order, and march them under me; the foot by twenty-four

abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating, colours flying,

and pikes advanced. This body consisted of three thousand foot, and a

thousand horse. His majesty gave orders, upon pain of death, that every

soldier in his march should observe the strictest decency with regard

to my person; which however could not prevent some of the younger

officers from turning up their eyes as they passed under me: and, to

confess the truth, my breeches were at that time in so ill a condition,

that they afforded some opportunities for laughter and admiration.

I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his

majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and then

in a full council; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh

Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any provocation, to be my mortal

enemy. But it was carried against him by the whole board, and confirmed

by the emperor. That minister was _galbet_, or admiral of the realm,

very much in his master’s confidence, and a person well versed in

affairs, but of a morose and sour complexion. However, he was at length

persuaded to comply; but prevailed that the articles and conditions

upon which I should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be

drawn up by himself. These articles were brought to me by Skyresh

Bolgolam in person attended by two under-secretaries, and several

persons of distinction. After they were read, I was demanded to swear

to the performance of them; first in the manner of my own country, and

afterwards in the method prescribed by their laws; which was, to hold

my right foot in my left hand, and to place the middle finger of my

right hand on the crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right

ear. But because the reader may be curious to have some idea of the

style and manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to

know the article upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a

translation of the whole instrument, word for word, as near as I was

able, which I here offer to the public.

“Golbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, most mighty

Emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe, whose

dominions extend five thousand _blustrugs_ (about twelve miles in

circumference) to the extremities of the globe; monarch of all

monarchs, taller than the sons of men; whose feet press down to the

centre, and whose head strikes against the sun; at whose nod the

princes of the earth shake their knees; pleasant as the spring,

comfortable as the summer, fruitful as autumn, dreadful as winter: his

most sublime majesty proposes to the man-mountain, lately arrived at

our celestial dominions, the following articles, which, by a solemn

oath, he shall be obliged to perform:—

“1st, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions, without our

license under our great seal.

“2d, He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without our

express order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two hours

warning to keep within doors.

“3d, The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our principal

high roads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a meadow or field of

corn.

“4th, As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not to

trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their horses, or

carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands without their

own consent.

“5th, If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-mountain

shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger and horse a six

days journey, once in every moon, and return the said messenger back

(if so required) safe to our imperial presence.

“6th, He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of

Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now

preparing to invade us.

“7th, That the said man-mountain shall, at his times of leisure, be

aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain great

stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and other our

royal buildings.

“8th, That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons’ time, deliver in

an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions, by a computation

of his own paces round the coast.

“Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above articles,

the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of meat and drink

sufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects, with free access to

our royal person, and other marks of our favour. Given at our palace at

Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the ninety-first moon of our reign.”

I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness and

content, although some of them were not so honourable as I could have

wished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyresh Bolgolam, the

high-admiral: whereupon my chains were immediately unlocked, and I was

at full liberty. The emperor himself, in person, did me the honour to

be by at the whole ceremony. I made my acknowledgements by prostrating

myself at his majesty’s feet: but he commanded me to rise; and after

many gracious expressions, which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I

shall not repeat, he added, “that he hoped I should prove a useful

servant, and well deserve all the favours he had already conferred upon

me, or might do for the future.”

The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article of the

recovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a quantity

of meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 Lilliputians. Some

time after, asking a friend at court how they came to fix on that

determinate number, he told me that his majesty’s mathematicians,

having taken the height of my body by the help of a quadrant, and

finding it to exceed theirs in the proportion of twelve to one, they

concluded from the similarity of their bodies, that mine must contain

at least 1724 of theirs, and consequently would require as much food as

was necessary to support that number of Lilliputians. By which the

reader may conceive an idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as

the prudent and exact economy of so great a prince.

CHAPTER IV.

Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the

emperor’s palace. A conversation between the author and a principal

secretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The author’s offers

to serve the emperor in his wars.

The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was, that I

might have license to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which the emperor

easily granted me, but with a special charge to do no hurt either to

the inhabitants or their houses. The people had notice, by

proclamation, of my design to visit the town. The wall which

encompassed it is two feet and a half high, and at least eleven inches

broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very safely round it;

and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I stepped

over the great western gate, and passed very gently, and sidling,

through the two principal streets, only in my short waistcoat, for fear

of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses with the skirts of my

coat. I walked with the utmost circumspection, to avoid treading on any

stragglers who might remain in the streets, although the orders were

very strict, that all people should keep in their houses, at their own

peril. The garret windows and tops of houses were so crowded with

spectators, that I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more

populous place. The city is an exact square, each side of the wall

being five hundred feet long. The two great streets, which run across

and divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes and

alleys, which I could not enter, but only view them as I passed, are

from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable of holding five

hundred thousand souls: the houses are from three to five stories: the

shops and markets well provided.

The emperor’s palace is in the centre of the city where the two great

streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and twenty

feet distance from the buildings. I had his majesty’s permission to

step over this wall; and, the space being so wide between that and the

palace, I could easily view it on every side. The outward court is a

square of forty feet, and includes two other courts: in the inmost are

the royal apartments, which I was very desirous to see, but found it

extremely difficult; for the great gates, from one square into another,

were but eighteen inches high, and seven inches wide. Now the buildings

of the outer court were at least five feet high, and it was impossible

for me to stride over them without infinite damage to the pile, though

the walls were strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At

the same time the emperor had a great desire that I should see the

magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to do till three

days after, which I spent in cutting down with my knife some of the

largest trees in the royal park, about a hundred yards distant from the

city. Of these trees I made two stools, each about three feet high, and

strong enough to bear my weight. The people having received notice a

second time, I went again through the city to the palace with my two

stools in my hands. When I came to the side of the outer court, I stood

upon one stool, and took the other in my hand; this I lifted over the

roof, and gently set it down on the space between the first and second

court, which was eight feet wide. I then stept over the building very

conveniently from one stool to the other, and drew up the first after

me with a hooked stick. By this contrivance I got into the inmost

court; and, lying down upon my side, I applied my face to the windows

of the middle stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered

the most splendid apartments that can be imagined. There I saw the

empress and the young princes, in their several lodgings, with their

chief attendants about them. Her imperial majesty was pleased to smile

very graciously upon me, and gave me out of the window her hand to

kiss.

But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of this

kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now almost

ready for the press; containing a general description of this empire,

from its first erection, through a long series of princes; with a

particular account of their wars and politics, laws, learning, and

religion; their plants and animals; their peculiar manners and customs,

with other matters very curious and useful; my chief design at present

being only to relate such events and transactions as happened to the

public or to myself during a residence of about nine months in that

empire.

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty,

Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private affairs,

came to my house attended only by one servant. He ordered his coach to

wait at a distance, and desired I would give him an hour’s audience;

which I readily consented to, on account of his quality and personal

merits, as well as of the many good offices he had done me during my

solicitations at court. I offered to lie down that he might the more

conveniently reach my ear, but he chose rather to let me hold him in my

hand during our conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty;

said “he might pretend to some merit in it;” but, however, added, “that

if it had not been for the present situation of things at court,

perhaps I might not have obtained it so soon. For,” said he, “as

flourishing a condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we

labour under two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the

danger of an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad. As to the

first, you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past there

have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of

_Tramecksan_ and _Slamecksan_, from the high and low heels of their

shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged, indeed,

that the high heels are most agreeable to our ancient constitution;

but, however this be, his majesty has determined to make use only of

low heels in the administration of the government, and all offices in

the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe; and particularly that

his majesty’s imperial heels are lower at least by a _drurr_ than any

of his court (_drurr_ is a measure about the fourteenth part of an

inch). The animosities between these two parties run so high, that they

will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with each other. We compute the

_Tramecksan_, or high heels, to exceed us in number; but the power is

wholly on our side. We apprehend his imperial highness, the heir to the

crown, to have some tendency towards the high heels; at least we can

plainly discover that one of his heels is higher than the other, which

gives him a hobble in his gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine

disquiets, we are threatened with an invasion from the island of

Blefuscu, which is the other great empire of the universe, almost as

large and powerful as this of his majesty. For as to what we have heard

you affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in the world

inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our philosophers are

in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that you dropped from the

moon, or one of the stars; because it is certain, that a hundred

mortals of your bulk would in a short time destroy all the fruits and

cattle of his majesty’s dominions: besides, our histories of six

thousand moons make no mention of any other regions than the two great

empires of Lilliput and Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I

was going to tell you, been engaged in a most obstinate war for

six-and-thirty moons past. It began upon the following occasion. It is

allowed on all hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before

we eat them, was upon the larger end; but his present majesty’s

grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it

according to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his fingers.

Whereupon the emperor his father published an edict, commanding all his

subjects, upon great penalties, to break the smaller end of their eggs.

The people so highly resented this law, that our histories tell us,

there have been six rebellions raised on that account; wherein one

emperor lost his life, and another his crown. These civil commotions

were constantly fomented by the monarchs of Blefuscu; and when they

were quelled, the exiles always fled for refuge to that empire. It is

computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered

death, rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. Many

hundred large volumes have been published upon this controversy: but

the books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole

party rendered incapable by law of holding employments. During the

course of these troubles, the emperors of Blefuscu did frequently

expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in

religion, by offending against a fundamental doctrine of our great

prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of the Blundecral (which

is their Alcoran). This, however, is thought to be a mere strain upon

the text; for the words are these: ‘that all true believers break their

eggs at the convenient end.’ And which is the convenient end, seems, in

my humble opinion to be left to every man’s conscience, or at least in

the power of the chief magistrate to determine. Now, the Big-endian

exiles have found so much credit in the emperor of Blefuscu’s court,

and so much private assistance and encouragement from their party here

at home, that a bloody war has been carried on between the two empires

for six-and-thirty moons, with various success; during which time we

have lost forty capital ships, and a much greater number of smaller

vessels, together with thirty thousand of our best seamen and soldiers;

and the damage received by the enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater

than ours. However, they have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are

just preparing to make a descent upon us; and his imperial majesty,

placing great confidence in your valour and strength, has commanded me

to lay this account of his affairs before you.”

I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor; and

to let him know, “that I thought it would not become me, who was a

foreigner, to interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the hazard

of my life, to defend his person and state against all invaders.”

CHAPTER V.

The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion. A high

title of honour is conferred upon him. Ambassadors arrive from the

emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for peace. The empress’s apartment on fire

by an accident; the author instrumental in saving the rest of the

palace.

The empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-east of

Lilliput, from which it is parted only by a channel of eight hundred

yards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this notice of an intended

invasion, I avoided appearing on that side of the coast, for fear of

being discovered, by some of the enemy’s ships, who had received no

intelligence of me; all intercourse between the two empires having been

strictly forbidden during the war, upon pain of death, and an embargo

laid by our emperor upon all vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his

majesty a project I had formed of seizing the enemy’s whole fleet;

which, as our scouts assured us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to

sail with the first fair wind. I consulted the most experienced seamen

upon the depth of the channel, which they had often plumbed; who told

me, that in the middle, at high-water, it was seventy _glumgluffs_

deep, which is about six feet of European measure; and the rest of it

fifty _glumgluffs_ at most. I walked towards the north-east coast, over

against Blefuscu, where, lying down behind a hillock, I took out my

small perspective glass, and viewed the enemy’s fleet at anchor,

consisting of about fifty men of war, and a great number of transports:

I then came back to my house, and gave orders (for which I had a

warrant) for a great quantity of the strongest cable and bars of iron.

The cable was about as thick as packthread and the bars of the length

and size of a knitting-needle. I trebled the cable to make it stronger,

and for the same reason I twisted three of the iron bars together,

bending the extremities into a hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to

as many cables, I went back to the north-east coast, and putting off my

coat, shoes, and stockings, walked into the sea, in my leathern jerkin,

about half an hour before high water. I waded with what haste I could,

and swam in the middle about thirty yards, till I felt ground. I

arrived at the fleet in less than half an hour. The enemy was so

frightened when they saw me, that they leaped out of their ships, and

swam to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty thousand

souls. I then took my tackling, and, fastening a hook to the hole at

the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the end. While I was

thus employed, the enemy discharged several thousand arrows, many of

which stuck in my hands and face, and, beside the excessive smart, gave

me much disturbance in my work. My greatest apprehension was for my

eyes, which I should have infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly

thought of an expedient. I kept, among other little necessaries, a pair

of spectacles in a private pocket, which, as I observed before, had

escaped the emperor’s searchers. These I took out and fastened as

strongly as I could upon my nose, and thus armed, went on boldly with

my work, in spite of the enemy’s arrows, many of which struck against

the glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect, further

than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened all the hooks,

and, taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a ship would

stir, for they were all too fast held by their anchors, so that the

boldest part of my enterprise remained. I therefore let go the cord,

and leaving the hooks fixed to the ships, I resolutely cut with my

knife the cables that fastened the anchors, receiving about two hundred

shots in my face and hands; then I took up the knotted end of the

cables, to which my hooks were tied, and with great ease drew fifty of

the enemy’s largest men of war after me.

The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I

intended, were at first confounded with astonishment. They had seen me

cut the cables, and thought my design was only to let the ships run

adrift or fall foul on each other: but when they perceived the whole

fleet moving in order, and saw me pulling at the end, they set up such

a scream of grief and despair as it is almost impossible to describe or

conceive. When I had got out of danger, I stopped awhile to pick out

the arrows that stuck in my hands and face; and rubbed on some of the

same ointment that was given me at my first arrival, as I have formerly

mentioned. I then took off my spectacles, and waiting about an hour,

till the tide was a little fallen, I waded through the middle with my

cargo, and arrived safe at the royal port of Lilliput.

The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the issue

of this great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in a large

half-moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my breast in water.

When I advanced to the middle of the channel, they were yet more in

pain, because I was under water to my neck. The emperor concluded me to

be drowned, and that the enemy’s fleet was approaching in a hostile

manner: but he was soon eased of his fears; for the channel growing

shallower every step I made, I came in a short time within hearing, and

holding up the end of the cable, by which the fleet was fastened, I

cried in a loud voice, “Long live the most puissant king of Lilliput!”

This great prince received me at my landing with all possible

encomiums, and created me a _nardac_ upon the spot, which is the

highest title of honour among them.

His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of bringing all

the rest of his enemy’s ships into his ports. And so unmeasureable is

the ambition of princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less than

reducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a province, and governing

it, by a viceroy; of destroying the Big-endian exiles, and compelling

that people to break the smaller end of their eggs, by which he would

remain the sole monarch of the whole world. But I endeavoured to divert

him from this design, by many arguments drawn from the topics of policy

as well as justice; and I plainly protested, “that I would never be an

instrument of bringing a free and brave people into slavery.” And, when

the matter was debated in council, the wisest part of the ministry were

of my opinion.

This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the schemes and

politics of his imperial majesty, that he could never forgive me. He

mentioned it in a very artful manner at council, where I was told that

some of the wisest appeared, at least by their silence, to be of my

opinion; but others, who were my secret enemies, could not forbear some

expressions which, by a side-wind, reflected on me. And from this time

began an intrigue between his majesty and a junto of ministers,

maliciously bent against me, which broke out in less than two months,

and had like to have ended in my utter destruction. Of so little weight

are the greatest services to princes, when put into the balance with a

refusal to gratify their passions.

About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn embassy

from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace, which was soon concluded,

upon conditions very advantageous to our emperor, wherewith I shall not

trouble the reader. There were six ambassadors, with a train of about

five hundred persons, and their entry was very magnificent, suitable to

the grandeur of their master, and the importance of their business.

When their treaty was finished, wherein I did them several good offices

by the credit I now had, or at least appeared to have, at court, their

excellencies, who were privately told how much I had been their friend,

made me a visit in form. They began with many compliments upon my

valour and generosity, invited me to that kingdom in the emperor their

master’s name, and desired me to show them some proofs of my prodigious

strength, of which they had heard so many wonders; wherein I readily

obliged them, but shall not trouble the reader with the particulars.

When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their

infinite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the

honour to present my most humble respects to the emperor their master,

the renown of whose virtues had so justly filled the whole world with

admiration, and whose royal person I resolved to attend, before I

returned to my own country. Accordingly, the next time I had the honour

to see our emperor, I desired his general license to wait on the

Blefuscudian monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I could

perceive, in a very cold manner; but could not guess the reason, till I

had a whisper from a certain person, “that Flimnap and Bolgolam had

represented my intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark of

disaffection;” from which I am sure my heart was wholly free. And this

was the first time I began to conceive some imperfect idea of courts

and ministers.

It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me, by an

interpreter, the languages of both empires differing as much from each

other as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself upon the

antiquity, beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with an avowed

contempt for that of their neighbour; yet our emperor, standing upon

the advantage he had got by the seizure of their fleet, obliged them to

deliver their credentials, and make their speech, in the Lilliputian

tongue. And it must be confessed, that from the great intercourse of

trade and commerce between both realms, from the continual reception of

exiles which is mutual among them, and from the custom, in each empire,

to send their young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order

to polish themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and

manners; there are few persons of distinction, or merchants, or seamen,

who dwell in the maritime parts, but what can hold conversation in both

tongues; as I found some weeks after, when I went to pay my respects to

the emperor of Blefuscu, which, in the midst of great misfortunes,

through the malice of my enemies, proved a very happy adventure to me,

as I shall relate in its proper place.

The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon which I

recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked, upon account of

their being too servile; neither could anything but an extreme

necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a _nardac_ of the

highest rank in that empire, such offices were looked upon as below my

dignity, and the emperor (to do him justice), never once mentioned them

to me. However, it was not long before I had an opportunity of doing

his majesty, at least as I then thought, a most signal service. I was

alarmed at midnight with the cries of many hundred people at my door;

by which, being suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard

the word _Burglum_ repeated incessantly: several of the emperor’s

court, making their way through the crowd, entreated me to come

immediately to the palace, where her imperial majesty’s apartment was

on fire, by the carelessness of a maid of honour, who fell asleep while

she was reading a romance. I got up in an instant; and orders being

given to clear the way before me, and it being likewise a moonshine

night, I made a shift to get to the palace without trampling on any of

the people. I found they had already applied ladders to the walls of

the apartment, and were well provided with buckets, but the water was

at some distance. These buckets were about the size of large thimbles,

and the poor people supplied me with them as fast as they could: but

the flame was so violent that they did little good. I might easily have

stifled it with my coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for

haste, and came away only in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly

desperate and deplorable; and this magnificent palace would have

infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a presence of mind

unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I had, the

evening before, drunk plentifully of a most delicious wine called

_glimigrim_, (the Blefuscudians call it _flunec_, but ours is esteemed

the better sort,) which is very diuretic. By the luckiest chance in the

world, I had not discharged myself of any part of it. The heat I had

contracted by coming very near the flames, and by labouring to quench

them, made the wine begin to operate by urine; which I voided in such a

quantity, and applied so well to the proper places, that in three

minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble

pile, which had cost so many ages in erecting, preserved from

destruction.

It was now day-light, and I returned to my house without waiting to

congratulate with the emperor: because, although I had done a very

eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty might

resent the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the fundamental

laws of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what quality soever,

to make water within the precincts of the palace. But I was a little

comforted by a message from his majesty, “that he would give orders to

the grand justiciary for passing my pardon in form:” which, however, I

could not obtain; and I was privately assured, “that the empress,

conceiving the greatest abhorrence of what I had done, removed to the

most distant side of the court, firmly resolved that those buildings

should never be repaired for her use: and, in the presence of her chief

confidents could not forbear vowing revenge.”

CHAPTER VI.

Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs; the

manner of educating their children. The author’s way of living in that

country. His vindication of a great lady.

Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a

particular treatise, yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify the

curious reader with some general ideas. As the common size of the

natives is somewhat under six inches high, so there is an exact

proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees: for

instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between four and five inches

in height, the sheep an inch and half, more or less: their geese about

the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations downwards till

you come to the smallest, which to my sight, were almost invisible; but

nature has adapted the eyes of the Lilliputians to all objects proper

for their view: they see with great exactness, but at no great

distance. And, to show the sharpness of their sight towards objects

that are near, I have been much pleased with observing a cook pulling a

lark, which was not so large as a common fly; and a young girl

threading an invisible needle with invisible silk. Their tallest trees

are about seven feet high: I mean some of those in the great royal

park, the tops whereof I could but just reach with my fist clenched.

The other vegetables are in the same proportion; but this I leave to

the reader’s imagination.

I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for many

ages, has flourished in all its branches among them: but their manner

of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right,

like the Europeans, nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians,

nor from up to down, like the Chinese, but aslant, from one corner of

the paper to the other, like ladies in England.

They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because they

hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to rise

again; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat) will

turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their resurrection,

be found ready standing on their feet. The learned among them confess

the absurdity of this doctrine; but the practice still continues, in

compliance to the vulgar.

There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if

they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear country, I

should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only to

be wished they were as well executed. The first I shall mention,

relates to informers. All crimes against the state, are punished here

with the utmost severity; but, if the person accused makes his

innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately

put to an ignominious death; and out of his goods or lands the innocent

person is quadruply recompensed for the loss of his time, for the

danger he underwent, for the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all

the charges he has been at in making his defence; or, if that fund be

deficient, it is largely supplied by the crown. The emperor also

confers on him some public mark of his favour, and proclamation is made

of his innocence through the whole city.

They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore

seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and

vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man’s goods

from thieves, but honesty has no defence against superior cunning; and,

since it is necessary that there should be a perpetual intercourse of

buying and selling, and dealing upon credit, where fraud is permitted

and connived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is

always undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember, when I was

once interceding with the emperor for a criminal who had wronged his

master of a great sum of money, which he had received by order and ran

away with; and happening to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation,

that it was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in

me to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and

truly I had little to say in return, farther than the common answer,

that different nations had different customs; for, I confess, I was

heartily ashamed. [330]

Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon

which all government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to be

put in practice by any nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can

there bring sufficient proof, that he has strictly observed the laws of

his country for seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain privileges,

according to his quality or condition of life, with a proportionable

sum of money out of a fund appropriated for that use: he likewise

acquires the title of _snilpall_, or legal, which is added to his name,

but does not descend to his posterity. And these people thought it a

prodigious defect of policy among us, when I told them that our laws

were enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is

upon this account that the image of Justice, in their courts of

judicature, is formed with six eyes, two before, as many behind, and on

each side one, to signify circumspection; with a bag of gold open in

her right hand, and a sword sheathed in her left, to show she is more

disposed to reward than to punish.

In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to good

morals than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary to

mankind, they believe, that the common size of human understanding is

fitted to some station or other; and that Providence never intended to

make the management of public affairs a mystery to be comprehended only

by a few persons of sublime genius, of which there seldom are three

born in an age: but they suppose truth, justice, temperance, and the

like, to be in every man’s power; the practice of which virtues,

assisted by experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for

the service of his country, except where a course of study is required.

But they thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being

supplied by superior endowments of the mind, that employments could

never be put into such dangerous hands as those of persons so

qualified; and, at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in

a virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal consequence to the

public weal, as the practices of a man, whose inclinations led him to

be corrupt, and who had great abilities to manage, to multiply, and

defend his corruptions.

In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man

incapable of holding any public station; for, since kings avow

themselves to be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think

nothing can be more absurd than for a prince to employ such men as

disown the authority under which he acts.

In relating these and the following laws, I would only be understood to

mean the original institutions, and not the most scandalous

corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the degenerate

nature of man. For, as to that infamous practice of acquiring great

employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges of favour and

distinction by leaping over sticks and creeping under them, the reader

is to observe, that they were first introduced by the grandfather of

the emperor now reigning, and grew to the present height by the gradual

increase of party and faction.

Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been

in some other countries: for they reason thus; that whoever makes ill

returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest of

mankind, from whom he has received no obligation, and therefore such a

man is not fit to live.

Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ

extremely from ours. For, since the conjunction of male and female is

founded upon the great law of nature, in order to propagate and

continue the species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and

women are joined together, like other animals, by the motives of

concupiscence; and that their tenderness towards their young proceeds

from the like natural principle: for which reason they will never allow

that a child is under any obligation to his father for begetting him,

or to his mother for bringing him into the world; which, considering

the miseries of human life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor

intended so by his parents, whose thoughts, in their love encounters,

were otherwise employed. Upon these, and the like reasonings, their

opinion is, that parents are the last of all others to be trusted with

the education of their own children; and therefore they have in every

town public nurseries, where all parents, except cottagers and

labourers, are obliged to send their infants of both sexes to be reared

and educated, when they come to the age of twenty moons, at which time

they are supposed to have some rudiments of docility. These schools are

of several kinds, suited to different qualities, and both sexes. They

have certain professors well skilled in preparing children for such a

condition of life as befits the rank of their parents, and their own

capacities, as well as inclinations. I shall first say something of the

male nurseries, and then of the female.

The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided with

grave and learned professors, and their several deputies. The clothes

and food of the children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the

principles of honour, justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion,

and love of their country; they are always employed in some business,

except in the times of eating and sleeping, which are very short, and

two hours for diversions consisting of bodily exercises. They are

dressed by men till four years of age, and then are obliged to dress

themselves, although their quality be ever so great; and the women

attendant, who are aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only

the most menial offices. They are never suffered to converse with

servants, but go together in smaller or greater numbers to take their

diversions, and always in the presence of a professor, or one of his

deputies; whereby they avoid those early bad impressions of folly and

vice, to which our children are subject. Their parents are suffered to

see them only twice a year; the visit is to last but an hour; they are

allowed to kiss the child at meeting and parting; but a professor, who

always stands by on those occasions, will not suffer them to whisper,

or use any fondling expressions, or bring any presents of toys,

sweetmeats, and the like.

The pension from each family for the education and entertainment of a

child, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor’s

officers.

The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders,

and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only

those designed for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years old,

whereas those of persons of quality continue in their exercises till

fifteen, which answers to twenty-one with us: but the confinement is

gradually lessened for the last three years.

In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated much

like the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of their own

sex; but always in the presence of a professor or deputy, till they

come to dress themselves, which is at five years old. And if it be

found that these nurses ever presume to entertain the girls with

frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practised by

chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice about the city,

imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the most desolate part

of the country. Thus the young ladies are as much ashamed of being

cowards and fools as the men, and despise all personal ornaments,

beyond decency and cleanliness: neither did I perceive any difference

in their education made by their difference of sex, only that the

exercises of the females were not altogether so robust; and that some

rules were given them relating to domestic life, and a smaller compass

of learning was enjoined them: for their maxim is, that among peoples

of quality, a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable

companion, because she cannot always be young. When the girls are

twelve years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their

parents or guardians take them home, with great expressions of

gratitude to the professors, and seldom without tears of the young lady

and her companions.

In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are

instructed in all kinds of works proper for their sex, and their

several degrees: those intended for apprentices are dismissed at seven

years old, the rest are kept to eleven.

The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are obliged,

besides their annual pension, which is as low as possible, to return to

the steward of the nursery a small monthly share of their gettings, to

be a portion for the child; and therefore all parents are limited in

their expenses by the law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be

more unjust, than for people, in subservience to their own appetites,

to bring children into the world, and leave the burthen of supporting

them on the public. As to persons of quality, they give security to

appropriate a certain sum for each child, suitable to their condition;

and these funds are always managed with good husbandry and the most

exact justice.

The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their business

being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their

education is of little consequence to the public: but the old and

diseased among them are supported by hospitals; for begging is a trade

unknown in this empire.

And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some

account of my domestics, and my manner of living in this country,

during a residence of nine months, and thirteen days. Having a head

mechanically turned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had made

for myself a table and chair convenient enough, out of the largest

trees in the royal park. Two hundred sempstresses were employed to make

me shirts, and linen for my bed and table, all of the strongest and

coarsest kind they could get; which, however, they were forced to quilt

together in several folds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than

lawn. Their linen is usually three inches wide, and three feet make a

piece. The sempstresses took my measure as I lay on the ground, one

standing at my neck, and another at my mid-leg, with a strong cord

extended, that each held by the end, while a third measured the length

of the cord with a rule of an inch long. Then they measured my right

thumb, and desired no more; for by a mathematical computation, that

twice round the thumb is once round the wrist, and so on to the neck

and the waist, and by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed on

the ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three

hundred tailors were employed in the same manner to make me clothes;

but they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I kneeled down,

and they raised a ladder from the ground to my neck; upon this ladder

one of them mounted, and let fall a plumb-line from my collar to the

floor, which just answered the length of my coat: but my waist and arms

I measured myself. When my clothes were finished, which was done in my

house (for the largest of theirs would not have been able to hold

them), they looked like the patch-work made by the ladies in England,

only that mine were all of a colour.

I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient

huts built about my house, where they and their families lived, and

prepared me two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand,

and placed them on the table: a hundred more attended below on the

ground, some with dishes of meat, and some with barrels of wine and

other liquors slung on their shoulders; all which the waiters above

drew up, as I wanted, in a very ingenious manner, by certain cords, as

we draw the bucket up a well in Europe. A dish of their meat was a good

mouthful, and a barrel of their liquor a reasonable draught. Their

mutton yields to ours, but their beef is excellent. I have had a

sirloin so large, that I have been forced to make three bites of it;

but this is rare. My servants were astonished to see me eat it, bones

and all, as in our country we do the leg of a lark. Their geese and

turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, and I confess they far exceed

ours. Of their smaller fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the end

of my knife.

One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of living,

desired “that himself and his royal consort, with the young princes of

the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness,” as he was pleased

to call it, “of dining with me.” They came accordingly, and I placed

them in chairs of state, upon my table, just over against me, with

their guards about them. Flimnap, the lord high treasurer, attended

there likewise with his white staff; and I observed he often looked on

me with a sour countenance, which I would not seem to regard, but ate

more than usual, in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the

court with admiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that

this visit from his majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill

offices to his master. That minister had always been my secret enemy,

though he outwardly caressed me more than was usual to the moroseness

of his nature. He represented to the emperor “the low condition of his

treasury; that he was forced to take up money at a great discount; that

exchequer bills would not circulate under nine per cent. below par;

that I had cost his majesty above a million and a half of _sprugs_”

(their greatest gold coin, about the bigness of a spangle) “and, upon

the whole, that it would be advisable in the emperor to take the first

fair occasion of dismissing me.”

I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, who

was an innocent sufferer upon my account. The treasurer took a fancy to

be jealous of his wife, from the malice of some evil tongues, who

informed him that her grace had taken a violent affection for my

person; and the court scandal ran for some time, that she once came

privately to my lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous

falsehood, without any grounds, further than that her grace was pleased

to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own

she came often to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three

more in the coach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and

some particular acquaintance; but this was common to many other ladies

of the court. And I still appeal to my servants round, whether they at

any time saw a coach at my door, without knowing what persons were in

it. On those occasions, when a servant had given me notice, my custom

was to go immediately to the door, and, after paying my respects, to

take up the coach and two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if

there were six horses, the postillion always unharnessed four,) and

place them on a table, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of

five inches high, to prevent accidents. And I have often had four

coaches and horses at once on my table, full of company, while I sat in

my chair, leaning my face towards them; and when I was engaged with one

set, the coachmen would gently drive the others round my table. I have

passed many an afternoon very agreeably in these conversations. But I

defy the treasurer, or his two informers (I will name them, and let

them make the best of it) Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person

ever came to me _incognito_, except the secretary Reldresal, who was

sent by express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before

related. I should not have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it

had not been a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is so

nearly concerned, to say nothing of my own; though I then had the

honour to be a _nardac_, which the treasurer himself is not; for all

the world knows, that he is only a _glumglum_, a title inferior by one

degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in England; yet I allow he

preceded me in right of his post. These false informations, which I

afterwards came to the knowledge of by an accident not proper to

mention, made the treasurer show his lady for some time an ill

countenance, and me a worse; and although he was at last undeceived and

reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit with him, and found my

interest decline very fast with the emperor himself, who was, indeed,

too much governed by that favourite.

CHAPTER VII.

The author, being informed of a design to accuse him of high-treason,

makes his escape to Blefuscu. His reception there.

Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it may

be proper to inform the reader of a private intrigue which had been for

two months forming against me.

I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger to courts, for which I was

unqualified by the meanness of my condition. I had indeed heard and

read enough of the dispositions of great princes and ministers, but

never expected to have found such terrible effects of them, in so

remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very different maxims from

those in Europe.

When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor of

Blefuscu, a considerable person at court (to whom I had been very

serviceable, at a time when he lay under the highest displeasure of his

imperial majesty) came to my house very privately at night, in a close

chair, and, without sending his name, desired admittance. The chairmen

were dismissed; I put the chair, with his lordship in it, into my

coat-pocket: and, giving orders to a trusty servant, to say I was

indisposed and gone to sleep, I fastened the door of my house, placed

the chair on the table, according to my usual custom, and sat down by

it. After the common salutations were over, observing his lordship’s

countenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he desired

“I would hear him with patience, in a matter that highly concerned my

honour and my life.” His speech was to the following effect, for I took

notes of it as soon as he left me:—

“You are to know,” said he, “that several committees of council have

been lately called, in the most private manner, on your account; and it

is but two days since his majesty came to a full resolution.

“You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam” (_galbet_, or

high-admiral) “has been your mortal enemy, almost ever since your

arrival. His original reasons I know not; but his hatred is increased

since your great success against Blefuscu, by which his glory as

admiral is much obscured. This lord, in conjunction with Flimnap the

high-treasurer, whose enmity against you is notorious on account of his

lady, Limtoc the general, Lalcon the chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand

justiciary, have prepared articles of impeachment against you, for

treason and other capital crimes.”

This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own merits and

innocence, that I was going to interrupt him; when he entreated me to

be silent, and thus proceeded:—

“Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procured

information of the whole proceedings, and a copy of the articles;

wherein I venture my head for your service.

“‘_Articles of Impeachment against_ QUINBUS FLESTRIN, (_the

Man-Mountain_.)

Article I.

“‘Whereas, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial majesty Calin

Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that, whoever shall make water within the

precincts of the royal palace, shall be liable to the pains and

penalties of high-treason; notwithstanding, the said Quinbus Flestrin,

in open breach of the said law, under colour of extinguishing the fire

kindled in the apartment of his majesty’s most dear imperial consort,

did maliciously, traitorously, and devilishly, by discharge of his

urine, put out the said fire kindled in the said apartment, lying and

being within the precincts of the said royal palace, against the

statute in that case provided, etc. against the duty, etc.

Article II.

“‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet of

Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded by his

imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said empire of

Blefuscu, and reduce that empire to a province, to be governed by a

viceroy from hence, and to destroy and put to death, not only all the

Big-endian exiles, but likewise all the people of that empire who would

not immediately forsake the Big-endian heresy, he, the said Flestrin,

like a false traitor against his most auspicious, serene, imperial

majesty, did petition to be excused from the said service, upon

pretence of unwillingness to force the consciences, or destroy the

liberties and lives of an innocent people.

Article III.

“‘That, whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the Court of Blefuscu,

to sue for peace in his majesty’s court, he, the said Flestrin, did,

like a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert, the said

ambassadors, although he knew them to be servants to a prince who was

lately an open enemy to his imperial majesty, and in an open war

against his said majesty.

Article IV.

“‘That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithful

subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the court and empire of

Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license from his

imperial majesty; and, under colour of the said license, does falsely

and traitorously intend to take the said voyage, and thereby to aid,

comfort, and abet the emperor of Blefuscu, so lately an enemy, and in

open war with his imperial majesty aforesaid.’

“There are some other articles; but these are the most important, of

which I have read you an abstract.

“In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be confessed

that his majesty gave many marks of his great lenity; often urging the

services you had done him, and endeavouring to extenuate your crimes.

The treasurer and admiral insisted that you should be put to the most

painful and ignominious death, by setting fire to your house at night,

and the general was to attend with twenty thousand men, armed with

poisoned arrows, to shoot you on the face and hands. Some of your

servants were to have private orders to strew a poisonous juice on your

shirts and sheets, which would soon make you tear your own flesh, and

die in the utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion; so

that for a long time there was a majority against you; but his majesty

resolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last brought off the

chamberlain.

“Upon this incident, Reldresal, principal secretary for private

affairs, who always approved himself your true friend, was commanded by

the emperor to deliver his opinion, which he accordingly did; and

therein justified the good thoughts you have of him. He allowed your

crimes to be great, but that still there was room for mercy, the most

commendable virtue in a prince, and for which his majesty was so justly

celebrated. He said, the friendship between you and him was so well

known to the world, that perhaps the most honourable board might think

him partial; however, in obedience to the command he had received, he

would freely offer his sentiments. That if his majesty, in

consideration of your services, and pursuant to his own merciful

disposition, would please to spare your life, and only give orders to

put out both your eyes, he humbly conceived, that by this expedient

justice might in some measure be satisfied, and all the world would

applaud the lenity of the emperor, as well as the fair and generous

proceedings of those who have the honour to be his counsellors. That

the loss of your eyes would be no impediment to your bodily strength,

by which you might still be useful to his majesty; that blindness is an

addition to courage, by concealing dangers from us; that the fear you

had for your eyes, was the greatest difficulty in bringing over the

enemy’s fleet, and it would be sufficient for you to see by the eyes of

the ministers, since the greatest princes do no more.

“This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by the whole

board. Bolgolam, the admiral, could not preserve his temper, but,

rising up in fury, said, he wondered how the secretary durst presume to

give his opinion for preserving the life of a traitor; that the

services you had performed were, by all true reasons of state, the

great aggravation of your crimes; that you, who were able to extinguish

the fire by discharge of urine in her majesty’s apartment (which he

mentioned with horror), might, at another time, raise an inundation by

the same means, to drown the whole palace; and the same strength which

enabled you to bring over the enemy’s fleet, might serve, upon the

first discontent, to carry it back; that he had good reasons to think

you were a Big-endian in your heart; and, as treason begins in the

heart, before it appears in overt acts, so he accused you as a traitor

on that account, and therefore insisted you should be put to death.

“The treasurer was of the same opinion: he showed to what straits his

majesty’s revenue was reduced, by the charge of maintaining you, which

would soon grow insupportable; that the secretary’s expedient of

putting out your eyes, was so far from being a remedy against this

evil, that it would probably increase it, as is manifest from the

common practice of blinding some kind of fowls, after which they fed

the faster, and grew sooner fat; that his sacred majesty and the

council, who are your judges, were, in their own consciences, fully

convinced of your guilt, which was a sufficient argument to condemn you

to death, without the formal proofs required by the strict letter of

the law.

“But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital punishment,

was graciously pleased to say, that since the council thought the loss

of your eyes too easy a censure, some other way may be inflicted

hereafter. And your friend the secretary, humbly desiring to be heard

again, in answer to what the treasurer had objected, concerning the

great charge his majesty was at in maintaining you, said, that his

excellency, who had the sole disposal of the emperor’s revenue, might

easily provide against that evil, by gradually lessening your

establishment; by which, for want of sufficient food, you would grow

weak and faint, and lose your appetite, and consequently, decay, and

consume in a few months; neither would the stench of your carcass be

then so dangerous, when it should become more than half diminished; and

immediately upon your death five or six thousand of his majesty’s

subjects might, in two or three days, cut your flesh from your bones,

take it away by cart-loads, and bury it in distant parts, to prevent

infection, leaving the skeleton as a monument of admiration to

posterity.

“Thus, by the great friendship of the secretary, the whole affair was

compromised. It was strictly enjoined, that the project of starving you

by degrees should be kept a secret; but the sentence of putting out

your eyes was entered on the books; none dissenting, except Bolgolam

the admiral, who, being a creature of the empress, was perpetually

instigated by her majesty to insist upon your death, she having borne

perpetual malice against you, on account of that infamous and illegal

method you took to extinguish the fire in her apartment.

“In three days your friend the secretary will be directed to come to

your house, and read before you the articles of impeachment; and then

to signify the great lenity and favour of his majesty and council,

whereby you are only condemned to the loss of your eyes, which his

majesty does not question you will gratefully and humbly submit to; and

twenty of his majesty’s surgeons will attend, in order to see the

operation well performed, by discharging very sharp-pointed arrows into

the balls of your eyes, as you lie on the ground.

“I leave to your prudence what measures you will take; and to avoid

suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a manner as I came.”

His lordship did so; and I remained alone, under many doubts and

perplexities of mind.

It was a custom introduced by this prince and his ministry (very

different, as I have been assured, from the practice of former times,)

that after the court had decreed any cruel execution, either to gratify

the monarch’s resentment, or the malice of a favourite, the emperor

always made a speech to his whole council, expressing his great lenity

and tenderness, as qualities known and confessed by all the world. This

speech was immediately published throughout the kingdom; nor did any

thing terrify the people so much as those encomiums on his majesty’s

mercy; because it was observed, that the more these praises were

enlarged and insisted on, the more inhuman was the punishment, and the

sufferer more innocent. Yet, as to myself, I must confess, having never

been designed for a courtier, either by my birth or education, I was so

ill a judge of things, that I could not discover the lenity and favour

of this sentence, but conceived it (perhaps erroneously) rather to be

rigorous than gentle. I sometimes thought of standing my trial, for,

although I could not deny the facts alleged in the several articles,

yet I hoped they would admit of some extenuation. But having in my life

perused many state-trials, which I ever observed to terminate as the

judges thought fit to direct, I durst not rely on so dangerous a

decision, in so critical a juncture, and against such powerful enemies.

Once I was strongly bent upon resistance, for, while I had liberty the

whole strength of that empire could hardly subdue me, and I might

easily with stones pelt the metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected

that project with horror, by remembering the oath I had made to the

emperor, the favours I received from him, and the high title of

_nardac_ he conferred upon me. Neither had I so soon learned the

gratitude of courtiers, to persuade myself, that his majesty’s present

severities acquitted me of all past obligations.

At last, I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable I may

incur some censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe the

preserving of my eyes, and consequently my liberty, to my own great

rashness and want of experience; because, if I had then known the

nature of princes and ministers, which I have since observed in many

other courts, and their methods of treating criminals less obnoxious

than myself, I should, with great alacrity and readiness, have

submitted to so easy a punishment. But hurried on by the precipitancy

of youth, and having his imperial majesty’s license to pay my

attendance upon the emperor of Blefuscu, I took this opportunity,

before the three days were elapsed, to send a letter to my friend the

secretary, signifying my resolution of setting out that morning for

Blefuscu, pursuant to the leave I had got; and, without waiting for an

answer, I went to that side of the island where our fleet lay. I seized

a large man of war, tied a cable to the prow, and, lifting up the

anchors, I stripped myself, put my clothes (together with my coverlet,

which I carried under my arm) into the vessel, and, drawing it after

me, between wading and swimming arrived at the royal port of Blefuscu,

where the people had long expected me: they lent me two guides to

direct me to the capital city, which is of the same name. I held them

in my hands, till I came within two hundred yards of the gate, and

desired them “to signify my arrival to one of the secretaries, and let

him know, I there waited his majesty’s command.” I had an answer in

about an hour, “that his majesty, attended by the royal family, and

great officers of the court, was coming out to receive me.” I advanced

a hundred yards. The emperor and his train alighted from their horses,

the empress and ladies from their coaches, and I did not perceive they

were in any fright or concern. I lay on the ground to kiss his

majesty’s and the empress’s hands. I told his majesty, “that I was come

according to my promise, and with the license of the emperor my master,

to have the honour of seeing so mighty a monarch, and to offer him any

service in my power, consistent with my duty to my own prince;” not

mentioning a word of my disgrace, because I had hitherto no regular

information of it, and might suppose myself wholly ignorant of any such

design; neither could I reasonably conceive that the emperor would

discover the secret, while I was out of his power; wherein, however, it

soon appeared I was deceived.

I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my

reception at this court, which was suitable to the generosity of so

great a prince; nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house

and bed, being forced to lie on the ground, wrapped up in my coverlet.

CHAPTER VIII.

The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu; and,

after some difficulties, returns safe to his native country.

Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the north-east

coast of the island, I observed, about half a league off in the sea,

somewhat that looked like a boat overturned. I pulled off my shoes and

stockings, and, wading two or three hundred yards, I found the object

to approach nearer by force of the tide; and then plainly saw it to be

a real boat, which I supposed might by some tempest have been driven

from a ship. Whereupon, I returned immediately towards the city, and

desired his imperial majesty to lend me twenty of the tallest vessels

he had left, after the loss of his fleet, and three thousand seamen,

under the command of his vice-admiral. This fleet sailed round, while I

went back the shortest way to the coast, where I first discovered the

boat. I found the tide had driven it still nearer. The seamen were all

provided with cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient

strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself, and waded till I

came within a hundred yards of the boat, after which I was forced to

swim till I got up to it. The seamen threw me the end of the cord,

which I fastened to a hole in the fore-part of the boat, and the other

end to a man of war; but I found all my labour to little purpose; for,

being out of my depth, I was not able to work. In this necessity I was

forced to swim behind, and push the boat forward, as often as I could,

with one of my hands; and the tide favouring me, I advanced so far that

I could just hold up my chin and feel the ground. I rested two or three

minutes, and then gave the boat another shove, and so on, till the sea

was no higher than my arm-pits; and now, the most laborious part being

over, I took out my other cables, which were stowed in one of the

ships, and fastened them first to the boat, and then to nine of the

vessels which attended me; the wind being favourable, the seamen towed,

and I shoved, until we arrived within forty yards of the shore; and,

waiting till the tide was out, I got dry to the boat, and by the

assistance of two thousand men, with ropes and engines, I made a shift

to turn it on its bottom, and found it was but little damaged.

I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under, by

the help of certain paddles, which cost me ten days making, to get my

boat to the royal port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse of people

appeared upon my arrival, full of wonder at the sight of so prodigious

a vessel. I told the emperor “that my good fortune had thrown this boat

in my way, to carry me to some place whence I might return into my

native country; and begged his majesty’s orders for getting materials

to fit it up, together with his license to depart;” which, after some

kind expostulations, he was pleased to grant.

I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any

express relating to me from our emperor to the court of Blefuscu. But I

was afterward given privately to understand, that his imperial majesty,

never imagining I had the least notice of his designs, believed I was

only gone to Blefuscu in performance of my promise, according to the

license he had given me, which was well known at our court, and would

return in a few days, when the ceremony was ended. But he was at last

in pain at my long absence; and after consulting with the treasurer and

the rest of that cabal, a person of quality was dispatched with the

copy of the articles against me. This envoy had instructions to

represent to the monarch of Blefuscu, “the great lenity of his master,

who was content to punish me no farther than with the loss of my eyes;

that I had fled from justice; and if I did not return in two hours, I

should be deprived of my title of _nardac_, and declared a traitor.”

The envoy further added, “that in order to maintain the peace and amity

between both empires, his master expected that his brother of Blefuscu

would give orders to have me sent back to Lilliput, bound hand and

foot, to be punished as a traitor.”

The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult, returned

an answer consisting of many civilities and excuses. He said, “that as

for sending me bound, his brother knew it was impossible; that,

although I had deprived him of his fleet, yet he owed great obligations

to me for many good offices I had done him in making the peace. That,

however, both their majesties would soon be made easy; for I had found

a prodigious vessel on the shore, able to carry me on the sea, which he

had given orders to fit up, with my own assistance and direction; and

he hoped, in a few weeks, both empires would be freed from so

insupportable an encumbrance.”

With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput; and the monarch of

Blefuscu related to me all that had passed; offering me at the same

time (but under the strictest confidence) his gracious protection, if I

would continue in his service; wherein, although I believed him

sincere, yet I resolved never more to put any confidence in princes or

ministers, where I could possibly avoid it; and therefore, with all due

acknowledgments for his favourable intentions, I humbly begged to be

excused. I told him, “that since fortune, whether good or evil, had

thrown a vessel in my way, I was resolved to venture myself on the

ocean, rather than be an occasion of difference between two such mighty

monarchs.” Neither did I find the emperor at all displeased; and I

discovered, by a certain accident, that he was very glad of my

resolution, and so were most of his ministers.

These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat sooner

than I intended; to which the court, impatient to have me gone, very

readily contributed. Five hundred workmen were employed to make two

sails to my boat, according to my directions, by quilting thirteen

folds of their strongest linen together. I was at the pains of making

ropes and cables, by twisting ten, twenty, or thirty of the thickest

and strongest of theirs. A great stone that I happened to find, after a

long search, by the sea-shore, served me for an anchor. I had the

tallow of three hundred cows, for greasing my boat, and other uses. I

was at incredible pains in cutting down some of the largest

timber-trees, for oars and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted

by his majesty’s ship-carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them,

after I had done the rough work.

In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his

majesty’s commands, and to take my leave. The emperor and royal family

came out of the palace; I lay down on my face to kiss his hand, which

he very graciously gave me: so did the empress and young princes of the

blood. His majesty presented me with fifty purses of two hundred

_sprugs_ a-piece, together with his picture at full length, which I put

immediately into one of my gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The

ceremonies at my departure were too many to trouble the reader with at

this time.

I stored the boat with the carcases of a hundred oxen, and three

hundred sheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much meat

ready dressed as four hundred cooks could provide. I took with me six

cows and two bulls alive, with as many ewes and rams, intending to

carry them into my own country, and propagate the breed. And to feed

them on board, I had a good bundle of hay, and a bag of corn. I would

gladly have taken a dozen of the natives, but this was a thing the

emperor would by no means permit; and, besides a diligent search into

my pockets, his majesty engaged my honour “not to carry away any of his

subjects, although with their own consent and desire.”

Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on

the twenty-fourth day of September 1701, at six in the morning; and

when I had gone about four leagues to the northward, the wind being at

south-east, at six in the evening I descried a small island, about half

a league to the north-west. I advanced forward, and cast anchor on the

lee-side of the island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took

some refreshment, and went to my rest. I slept well, and as I

conjectured at least six hours, for I found the day broke in two hours

after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate my breakfast before the sun

was up; and heaving anchor, the wind being favourable, I steered the

same course that I had done the day before, wherein I was directed by

my pocket compass. My intention was to reach, if possible, one of those

islands which I had reason to believe lay to the north-east of Van

Diemen’s Land. I discovered nothing all that day; but upon the next,

about three in the afternoon, when I had by my computation made

twenty-four leagues from Blefuscu, I descried a sail steering to the

south-east; my course was due east. I hailed her, but could get no

answer; yet I found I gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I made

all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me, then hung out

her ancient, and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy I

was in, upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved

country, and the dear pledges I left in it. The ship slackened her

sails, and I came up with her between five and six in the evening,

September 26th; but my heart leaped within me to see her English

colours. I put my cows and sheep into my coat-pockets, and got on board

with all my little cargo of provisions. The vessel was an English

merchantman, returning from Japan by the North and South seas; the

captain, Mr. John Biddel, of Deptford, a very civil man, and an

excellent sailor.

We were now in the latitude of 30 degrees south; there were about fifty

men in the ship; and here I met an old comrade of mine, one Peter

Williams, who gave me a good character to the captain. This gentleman

treated me with kindness, and desired I would let him know what place I

came from last, and whither I was bound; which I did in a few words,

but he thought I was raving, and that the dangers I underwent had

disturbed my head; whereupon I took my black cattle and sheep out of my

pocket, which, after great astonishment, clearly convinced him of my

veracity. I then showed him the gold given me by the emperor of

Blefuscu, together with his majesty’s picture at full length, and some

other rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of two hundreds

_sprugs_ each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to make him a

present of a cow and a sheep big with young.

I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this

voyage, which was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived in the

Downs on the 13th of April, 1702. I had only one misfortune, that the

rats on board carried away one of my sheep; I found her bones in a

hole, picked clean from the flesh. The rest of my cattle I got safe

ashore, and set them a-grazing in a bowling-green at Greenwich, where

the fineness of the grass made them feed very heartily, though I had

always feared the contrary: neither could I possibly have preserved

them in so long a voyage, if the captain had not allowed me some of his

best biscuit, which, rubbed to powder, and mingled with water, was

their constant food. The short time I continued in England, I made a

considerable profit by showing my cattle to many persons of quality and

others: and before I began my second voyage, I sold them for six

hundred pounds. Since my last return I find the breed is considerably

increased, especially the sheep, which I hope will prove much to the

advantage of the woollen manufacture, by the fineness of the fleeces.

I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my insatiable

desire of seeing foreign countries, would suffer me to continue no

longer. I left fifteen hundred pounds with my wife, and fixed her in a

good house at Redriff. My remaining stock I carried with me, part in

money and part in goods, in hopes to improve my fortunes. My eldest

uncle John had left me an estate in land, near Epping, of about thirty

pounds a year; and I had a long lease of the Black Bull in Fetter Lane,

which yielded me as much more; so that I was not in any danger of

leaving my family upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his

uncle, was at the grammar school, and a towardly child. My daughter

Betty (who is now well married, and has children) was then at her

needlework. I took leave of my wife, and boy and girl, with tears on

both sides, and went on board the Adventure, a merchant ship of three

hundred tons, bound for Surat, captain John Nicholas, of Liverpool,

commander. But my account of this voyage must be referred to the Second

Part of my Travels.

PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.

CHAPTER I.

A great storm described; the long boat sent to fetch water; the author

goes with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is seized by

one of the natives, and carried to a farmer’s house. His reception,

with several accidents that happened there. A description of the

inhabitants.

Having been condemned, by nature and fortune, to active and restless

life, in two months after my return, I again left my native country,

and took shipping in the Downs, on the 20th day of June, 1702, in the

Adventure, Captain John Nicholas, a Cornish man, commander, bound for

Surat. We had a very prosperous gale, till we arrived at the Cape of

Good Hope, where we landed for fresh water; but discovering a leak, we

unshipped our goods and wintered there; for the captain falling sick of

an ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then set

sail, and had a good voyage till we passed the Straits of Madagascar;

but having got northward of that island, and to about five degrees

south latitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to blow a

constant equal gale between the north and west, from the beginning of

December to the beginning of May, on the 19th of April began to blow

with much greater violence, and more westerly than usual, continuing so

for twenty days together: during which time, we were driven a little to

the east of the Molucca Islands, and about three degrees northward of

the line, as our captain found by an observation he took the 2nd of

May, at which time the wind ceased, and it was a perfect calm, whereat

I was not a little rejoiced. But he, being a man well experienced in

the navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare against a storm, which

accordingly happened the day following: for the southern wind, called

the southern monsoon, began to set in.

Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our sprit-sail, and stood

by to hand the fore-sail; but making foul weather, we looked the guns

were all fast, and handed the mizen. The ship lay very broad off, so we

thought it better spooning before the sea, than trying or hulling. We

reefed the fore-sail and set him, and hauled aft the fore-sheet; the

helm was hard a-weather. The ship wore bravely. We belayed the fore

down-haul; but the sail was split, and we hauled down the yard, and got

the sail into the ship, and unbound all the things clear of it. It was

a very fierce storm; the sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled off

upon the laniard of the whip-staff, and helped the man at the helm. We

would not get down our topmast, but let all stand, because she scudded

before the sea very well, and we knew that the top-mast being aloft,

the ship was the wholesomer, and made better way through the sea,

seeing we had sea-room. When the storm was over, we set fore-sail and

main-sail, and brought the ship to. Then we set the mizen,

main-top-sail, and the fore-top-sail. Our course was east-north-east,

the wind was at south-west. We got the starboard tacks aboard, we cast

off our weather-braces and lifts; we set in the lee-braces, and hauled

forward by the weather-bowlings, and hauled them tight, and belayed

them, and hauled over the mizen tack to windward, and kept her full and

by as near as she would lie.

During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-south-west,

we were carried, by my computation, about five hundred leagues to the

east, so that the oldest sailor on board could not tell in what part of

the world we were. Our provisions held out well, our ship was staunch,

and our crew all in good health; but we lay in the utmost distress for

water. We thought it best to hold on the same course, rather than turn

more northerly, which might have brought us to the north-west part of

Great Tartary, and into the Frozen Sea.

On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the top-mast discovered land.

On the 17th, we came in full view of a great island, or continent (for

we knew not whether;) on the south side whereof was a small neck of

land jutting out into the sea, and a creek too shallow to hold a ship

of above one hundred tons. We cast anchor within a league of this

creek, and our captain sent a dozen of his men well armed in the

long-boat, with vessels for water, if any could be found. I desired his

leave to go with them, that I might see the country, and make what

discoveries I could. When we came to land we saw no river or spring,

nor any sign of inhabitants. Our men therefore wandered on the shore to

find out some fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone about a mile

on the other side, where I observed the country all barren and rocky. I

now began to be weary, and seeing nothing to entertain my curiosity, I

returned gently down towards the creek; and the sea being full in my

view, I saw our men already got into the boat, and rowing for life to

the ship. I was going to holla after them, although it had been to

little purpose, when I observed a huge creature walking after them in

the sea, as fast as he could: he waded not much deeper than his knees,

and took prodigious strides: but our men had the start of him half a

league, and, the sea thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed rocks, the

monster was not able to overtake the boat. This I was afterwards told,

for I durst not stay to see the issue of the adventure; but ran as fast

as I could the way I first went, and then climbed up a steep hill,

which gave me some prospect of the country. I found it fully

cultivated; but that which first surprised me was the length of the

grass, which, in those grounds that seemed to be kept for hay, was

about twenty feet high.

I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it served to

the inhabitants only as a foot-path through a field of barley. Here I

walked on for some time, but could see little on either side, it being

now near harvest, and the corn rising at least forty feet. I was an

hour walking to the end of this field, which was fenced in with a hedge

of at least one hundred and twenty feet high, and the trees so lofty

that I could make no computation of their altitude. There was a stile

to pass from this field into the next. It had four steps, and a stone

to cross over when you came to the uppermost. It was impossible for me

to climb this stile, because every step was six-feet high, and the

upper stone about twenty. I was endeavouring to find some gap in the

hedge, when I discovered one of the inhabitants in the next field,

advancing towards the stile, of the same size with him whom I saw in

the sea pursuing our boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire

steeple, and took about ten yards at every stride, as near as I could

guess. I was struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to

hide myself in the corn, whence I saw him at the top of the stile

looking back into the next field on the right hand, and heard him call

in a voice many degrees louder than a speaking-trumpet: but the noise

was so high in the air, that at first I certainly thought it was

thunder. Whereupon seven monsters, like himself, came towards him with

reaping-hooks in their hands, each hook about the largeness of six

scythes. These people were not so well clad as the first, whose

servants or labourers they seemed to be; for, upon some words he spoke,

they went to reap the corn in the field where I lay. I kept from them

at as great a distance as I could, but was forced to move with extreme

difficulty, for the stalks of the corn were sometimes not above a foot

distant, so that I could hardly squeeze my body betwixt them. However,

I made a shift to go forward, till I came to a part of the field where

the corn had been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was impossible for

me to advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven, that I could

not creep through, and the beards of the fallen ears so strong and

pointed, that they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At the

same time I heard the reapers not a hundred yards behind me. Being

quite dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and dispair, I

lay down between two ridges, and heartily wished I might there end my

days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and fatherless children. I lamented

my own folly and wilfulness, in attempting a second voyage, against the

advice of all my friends and relations. In this terrible agitation of

mind, I could not forbear thinking of Lilliput, whose inhabitants

looked upon me as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared in the world;

where I was able to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform

those other actions, which will be recorded for ever in the chronicles

of that empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them, although

attested by millions. I reflected what a mortification it must prove to

me, to appear as inconsiderable in this nation, as one single

Lilliputian would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the least

of my misfortunes; for, as human creatures are observed to be more

savage and cruel in proportion to their bulk, what could I expect but

to be a morsel in the mouth of the first among these enormous

barbarians that should happen to seize me? Undoubtedly philosophers are

in the right, when they tell us that nothing is great or little

otherwise than by comparison. It might have pleased fortune, to have

let the Lilliputians find some nation, where the people were as

diminutive with respect to them, as they were to me. And who knows but

that even this prodigious race of mortals might be equally overmatched

in some distant part of the world, whereof we have yet no discovery.

Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with these

reflections, when one of the reapers, approaching within ten yards of

the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next step I

should be squashed to death under his foot, or cut in two with his

reaping-hook. And therefore, when he was again about to move, I

screamed as loud as fear could make me: whereupon the huge creature

trod short, and, looking round about under him for some time, at last

espied me as I lay on the ground. He considered awhile, with the

caution of one who endeavours to lay hold on a small dangerous animal

in such a manner that it shall not be able either to scratch or bite

him, as I myself have sometimes done with a weasel in England. At

length he ventured to take me behind, by the middle, between his

fore-finger and thumb, and brought me within three yards of his eyes,

that he might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed his meaning,

and my good fortune gave me so much presence of mind, that I resolved

not to struggle in the least as he held me in the air above sixty feet

from the ground, although he grievously pinched my sides, for fear I

should slip through his fingers. All I ventured was to raise my eyes

towards the sun, and place my hands together in a supplicating posture,

and to speak some words in a humble melancholy tone, suitable to the

condition I then was in: for I apprehended every moment that he would

dash me against the ground, as we usually do any little hateful animal,

which we have a mind to destroy. But my good star would have it, that

he appeared pleased with my voice and gestures, and began to look upon

me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce articulate

words, although he could not understand them. In the mean time I was

not able to forbear groaning and shedding tears, and turning my head

towards my sides; letting him know, as well as I could, how cruelly I

was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He seemed to

apprehend my meaning; for, lifting up the lappet of his coat, he put me

gently into it, and immediately ran along with me to his master, who

was a substantial farmer, and the same person I had first seen in the

field.

The farmer having (as I suppose by their talk) received such an account

of me as his servant could give him, took a piece of a small straw,

about the size of a walking-staff, and therewith lifted up the lappets

of my coat; which it seems he thought to be some kind of covering that

nature had given me. He blew my hairs aside to take a better view of my

face. He called his hinds about him, and asked them, as I afterwards

learned, whether they had ever seen in the fields any little creature

that resembled me. He then placed me softly on the ground upon all

fours, but I got immediately up, and walked slowly backward and

forward, to let those people see I had no intent to run away. They all

sat down in a circle about me, the better to observe my motions. I

pulled off my hat, and made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my

knees, and lifted up my hands and eyes, and spoke several words as loud

as I could: I took a purse of gold out of my pocket, and humbly

presented it to him. He received it on the palm of his hand, then

applied it close to his eye to see what it was, and afterwards turned

it several times with the point of a pin (which he took out of his

sleeve,) but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a sign that he

should place his hand on the ground. I then took the purse, and,

opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. There were six Spanish

pieces of four pistoles each, beside twenty or thirty smaller coins. I

saw him wet the tip of his little finger upon his tongue, and take up

one of my largest pieces, and then another; but he seemed to be wholly

ignorant what they were. He made me a sign to put them again into my

purse, and the purse again into my pocket, which, after offering it to

him several times, I thought it best to do.

The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational creature.

He spoke often to me; but the sound of his voice pierced my ears like

that of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate enough. I answered

as loud as I could in several languages, and he often laid his ear

within two yards of me: but all in vain, for we were wholly

unintelligible to each other. He then sent his servants to their work,

and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and spread it

on his left hand, which he placed flat on the ground with the palm

upward, making me a sign to step into it, as I could easily do, for it

was not above a foot in thickness. I thought it my part to obey, and,

for fear of falling, laid myself at full length upon the handkerchief,

with the remainder of which he lapped me up to the head for further

security, and in this manner carried me home to his house. There he

called his wife, and showed me to her; but she screamed and ran back,

as women in England do at the sight of a toad or a spider. However,

when she had a while seen my behaviour, and how well I observed the

signs her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew

extremely tender of me.

It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It was

only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition of a

husbandman,) in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet diameter. The

company were, the farmer and his wife, three children, and an old

grandmother. When they were sat down, the farmer placed me at some

distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high from the

floor. I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from the

edge, for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then crumbled

some bread on a trencher, and placed it before me. I made her a low

bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to eat, which gave them

exceeding delight. The mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup,

which held about two gallons, and filled it with drink; I took up the

vessel with much difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful

manner drank to her ladyship’s health, expressing the words as loud as

I could in English, which made the company laugh so heartily, that I

was almost deafened with the noise. This liquor tasted like a small

cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come

to his trencher side; but as I walked on the table, being in great

surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily conceive and

excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my

face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the

good people to be in much concern, I took my hat (which I held under my

arm out of good manners,) and waving it over my head, made three

huzzas, to show I had got no mischief by my fall. But advancing forward

towards my master (as I shall henceforth call him,) his youngest son,

who sat next to him, an arch boy of about ten years old, took me up by

the legs, and held me so high in the air, that I trembled every limb:

but his father snatched me from him, and at the same time gave him such

a box on the left ear, as would have felled an European troop of horse

to the earth, ordering him to be taken from the table. But being afraid

the boy might owe me a spite, and well remembering how mischievous all

children among us naturally are to sparrows, rabbits, young kittens,

and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and pointing to the boy, made my

master to understand, as well as I could, that I desired his son might

be pardoned. The father complied, and the lad took his seat again,

whereupon I went to him, and kissed his hand, which my master took, and

made him stroke me gently with it.

In the midst of dinner, my mistress’s favourite cat leaped into her

lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking-weavers at

work; and turning my head, I found it proceeded from the purring of

that animal, who seemed to be three times larger than an ox, as I

computed by the view of her head, and one of her paws, while her

mistress was feeding and stroking her. The fierceness of this

creature’s countenance altogether discomposed me; though I stood at the

farther end of the table, above fifty feet off; and although my

mistress held her fast, for fear she might give a spring, and seize me

in her talons. But it happened there was no danger, for the cat took

not the least notice of me when my master placed me within three yards

of her. And as I have been always told, and found true by experience in

my travels, that flying or discovering fear before a fierce animal, is

a certain way to make it pursue or attack you, so I resolved, in this

dangerous juncture, to show no manner of concern. I walked with

intrepidity five or six times before the very head of the cat, and came

within half a yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if she

were more afraid of me: I had less apprehension concerning the dogs,

whereof three or four came into the room, as it is usual in farmers’

houses; one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four elephants,

and another a greyhound, somewhat taller than the mastiff, but not so

large.

When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a year

old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a squall that you

might have heard from London Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual oratory

of infants, to get me for a plaything. The mother, out of pure

indulgence, took me up, and put me towards the child, who presently

seized me by the middle, and got my head into his mouth, where I roared

so loud that the urchin was frighted, and let me drop, and I should

infallibly have broke my neck, if the mother had not held her apron

under me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, made use of a rattle which was

a kind of hollow vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a

cable to the child’s waist: but all in vain; so that she was forced to

apply the last remedy by giving it suck. I must confess no object ever

disgusted me so much as the sight of her monstrous breast, which I

cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader an

idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet, and

could not be less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple was about

half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that and the dug, so

varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that nothing could appear

more nauseous: for I had a near sight of her, she sitting down, the

more conveniently to give suck, and I standing on the table. This made

me reflect upon the fair skins of our English ladies, who appear so

beautiful to us, only because they are of our own size, and their

defects not to be seen but through a magnifying glass; where we find by

experiment that the smoothest and whitest skins look rough, and coarse,

and ill-coloured.

I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexion of those diminutive

people appeared to me the fairest in the world; and talking upon this

subject with a person of learning there, who was an intimate friend of

mine, he said that my face appeared much fairer and smoother when he

looked on me from the ground, than it did upon a nearer view, when I

took him up in my hand, and brought him close, which he confessed was

at first a very shocking sight. He said, “he could discover great holes

in my skin; that the stumps of my beard were ten times stronger than

the bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several colours

altogether disagreeable:” although I must beg leave to say for myself,

that I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very little

sunburnt by all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of the

ladies in that emperor’s court, he used to tell me, “one had freckles;

another too wide a mouth; a third too large a nose;” nothing of which I

was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection was obvious enough;

which, however, I could not forbear, lest the reader might think those

vast creatures were actually deformed: for I must do them the justice

to say, they are a comely race of people, and particularly the features

of my master’s countenance, although he was but a farmer, when I beheld

him from the height of sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned.

When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and, as I

could discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife strict charge to

take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to sleep, which my

mistress perceiving, she put me on her own bed, and covered me with a

clean white handkerchief, but larger and coarser than the mainsail of a

man of war.

I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my wife and

children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked, and found myself

alone in a vast room, between two and three hundred feet wide, and

above two hundred high, lying in a bed twenty yards wide. My mistress

was gone about her household affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was

eight yards from the floor. Some natural necessities required me to get

down; I durst not presume to call; and if I had, it would have been in

vain, with such a voice as mine, at so great a distance from the room

where I lay to the kitchen where the family kept. While I was under

these circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains, and ran smelling

backwards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost to my

face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger to defend

myself. These horrible animals had the boldness to attack me on both

sides, and one of them held his forefeet at my collar; but I had the

good fortune to rip up his belly before he could do me any mischief. He

fell down at my feet; and the other, seeing the fate of his comrade,

made his escape, but not without one good wound on the back, which I

gave him as he fled, and made the blood run trickling from him. After

this exploit, I walked gently to and fro on the bed, to recover my

breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were of the size of a large

mastiff, but infinitely more nimble and fierce; so that if I had taken

off my belt before I went to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to

pieces and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat, and found it

to be two yards long, wanting an inch; but it went against my stomach

to drag the carcass off the bed, where it lay still bleeding; I

observed it had yet some life, but with a strong slash across the neck,

I thoroughly despatched it.

Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all bloody,

ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat, smiling, and

making other signs to show I was not hurt; whereat she was extremely

rejoiced, calling the maid to take up the dead rat with a pair of

tongs, and throw it out of the window. Then she set me on a table,

where I showed her my hanger all bloody, and wiping it on the lappet of

my coat, returned it to the scabbard. I was pressed to do more than one

thing which another could not do for me, and therefore endeavoured to

make my mistress understand, that I desired to be set down on the

floor; which after she had done, my bashfulness would not suffer me to

express myself farther, than by pointing to the door, and bowing

several times. The good woman, with much difficulty, at last perceived

what I would be at, and taking me up again in her hand, walked into the

garden, where she set me down. I went on one side about two hundred

yards, and beckoning to her not to look or to follow me, I hid myself

between two leaves of sorrel, and there discharged the necessities of

nature.

I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and the

like particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear to

groveling vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to

enlarge his thoughts and imagination, and apply them to the benefit of

public as well as private life, which was my sole design in presenting

this and other accounts of my travels to the world; wherein I have been

chiefly studious of truth, without affecting any ornaments of learning

or of style. But the whole scene of this voyage made so strong an

impression on my mind, and is so deeply fixed in my memory, that, in

committing it to paper I did not omit one material circumstance:

however, upon a strict review, I blotted out several passages of less

moment which were in my first copy, for fear of being censured as

tedious and trifling, whereof travellers are often, perhaps not without

justice, accused.

CHAPTER II.

A description of the farmer’s daughter. The author carried to a

market-town, and then to the metropolis. The particulars of his

journey.

My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of towardly parts

for her age, very dexterous at her needle, and skilful in dressing her

baby. Her mother and she contrived to fit up the baby’s cradle for me

against night: the cradle was put into a small drawer of a cabinet, and

the drawer placed upon a hanging shelf for fear of the rats. This was

my bed all the time I staid with those people, though made more

convenient by degrees, as I began to learn their language and make my

wants known. This young girl was so handy, that after I had once or

twice pulled off my clothes before her, she was able to dress and

undress me, though I never gave her that trouble when she would let me

do either myself. She made me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as

fine cloth as could be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth;

and these she constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was

likewise my school-mistress, to teach me the language: when I pointed

to any thing, she told me the name of it in her own tongue, so that in

a few days I was able to call for whatever I had a mind to. She was

very good-natured, and not above forty feet high, being little for her

age. She gave me the name of _Grildrig_, which the family took up, and

afterwards the whole kingdom. The word imports what the Latins call

_nanunculus_, the Italians _homunceletino_, and the English _mannikin_.

To her I chiefly owe my preservation in that country: we never parted

while I was there; I called her my _Glumdalclitch_, or little nurse;

and should be guilty of great ingratitude, if I omitted this honourable

mention of her care and affection towards me, which I heartily wish it

lay in my power to requite as she deserves, instead of being the

innocent, but unhappy instrument of her disgrace, as I have too much

reason to fear.

It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood, that my

master had found a strange animal in the field, about the bigness of a

_splacnuck_, but exactly shaped in every part like a human creature;

which it likewise imitated in all its actions; seemed to speak in a

little language of its own, had already learned several words of

theirs, went erect upon two legs, was tame and gentle, would come when

it was called, do whatever it was bid, had the finest limbs in the

world, and a complexion fairer than a nobleman’s daughter of three

years old. Another farmer, who lived hard by, and was a particular

friend of my master, came on a visit on purpose to inquire into the

truth of this story. I was immediately produced, and placed upon a

table, where I walked as I was commanded, drew my hanger, put it up

again, made my reverence to my master’s guest, asked him in his own

language how he did, and told him _he was welcome_, just as my little

nurse had instructed me. This man, who was old and dim-sighted, put on

his spectacles to behold me better; at which I could not forbear

laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full moon

shining into a chamber at two windows. Our people, who discovered the

cause of my mirth, bore me company in laughing, at which the old fellow

was fool enough to be angry and out of countenance. He had the

character of a great miser; and, to my misfortune, he well deserved it,

by the cursed advice he gave my master, to show me as a sight upon a

market-day in the next town, which was half an hour’s riding, about

two-and-twenty miles from our house. I guessed there was some mischief

when I observed my master and his friend whispering together, sometimes

pointing at me; and my fears made me fancy that I overheard and

understood some of their words. But the next morning Glumdalclitch, my

little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had cunningly picked

out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom, and fell a

weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some mischief would

happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might squeeze me to death, or

break one of my limbs by taking me in their hands. She had also

observed how modest I was in my nature, how nicely I regarded my

honour, and what an indignity I should conceive it, to be exposed for

money as a public spectacle, to the meanest of the people. She said,

her papa and mamma had promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now

she found they meant to serve her as they did last year, when they

pretended to give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it

to a butcher. For my own part, I may truly affirm, that I was less

concerned than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which never left me, that

I should one day recover my liberty: and as to the ignominy of being

carried about for a monster, I considered myself to be a perfect

stranger in the country, and that such a misfortune could never be

charged upon me as a reproach, if ever I should return to England,

since the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition, must have

undergone the same distress.

My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a box

the next market-day to the neighbouring town, and took along with him

his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion behind him. The box was

close on every side, with a little door for me to go in and out, and a

few gimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so careful as to put

the quilt of her baby’s bed into it, for me to lie down on. However, I

was terribly shaken and discomposed in this journey, though it was but

of half an hour: for the horse went about forty feet at every step and

trotted so high, that the agitation was equal to the rising and falling

of a ship in a great storm, but much more frequent. Our journey was

somewhat farther than from London to St. Alban’s. My master alighted at

an inn which he used to frequent; and after consulting a while with the

inn-keeper, and making some necessary preparations, he hired the

_grultrud_, or crier, to give notice through the town of a strange

creature to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a

_splacnuck_ (an animal in that country very finely shaped, about six

feet long,) and in every part of the body resembling a human creature,

could speak several words, and perform a hundred diverting tricks.

I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which might

be near three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a low stool

close to the table, to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My

master, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty people at a time to

see me. I walked about on the table as the girl commanded; she asked me

questions, as far as she knew my understanding of the language reached,

and I answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several times to

the company, paid my humble respects, said _they were welcome_, and

used some other speeches I had been taught. I took up a thimble filled

with liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and drank

their health, I drew out my hanger, and flourished with it after the

manner of fencers in England. My nurse gave me a part of a straw, which

I exercised as a pike, having learnt the art in my youth. I was that

day shown to twelve sets of company, and as often forced to act over

again the same fopperies, till I was half dead with weariness and

vexation; for those who had seen me made such wonderful reports, that

the people were ready to break down the doors to come in. My master,

for his own interest, would not suffer any one to touch me except my

nurse; and to prevent danger, benches were set round the table at such

a distance as to put me out of every body’s reach. However, an unlucky

school-boy aimed a hazel nut directly at my head, which very narrowly

missed me; otherwise it came with so much violence, that it would have

infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large as a small

pumpkin, but I had the satisfaction to see the young rogue well beaten,

and turned out of the room.

My master gave public notice that he would show me again the next

market-day; and in the meantime he prepared a convenient vehicle for

me, which he had reason enough to do; for I was so tired with my first

journey, and with entertaining company for eight hours together, that I

could hardly stand upon my legs, or speak a word. It was at least three

days before I recovered my strength; and that I might have no rest at

home, all the neighbouring gentlemen from a hundred miles round,

hearing of my fame, came to see me at my master’s own house. There

could not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and children

(for the country is very populous;) and my master demanded the rate of

a full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were only to a

single family; so that for some time I had but little ease every day of

the week (except Wednesday, which is their Sabbath,) although I were

not carried to the town.

My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to carry

me to the most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having therefore

provided himself with all things necessary for a long journey, and

settled his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife, and upon the

17th of August, 1703, about two months after my arrival, we set out for

the metropolis, situated near the middle of that empire, and about

three thousand miles distance from our house. My master made his

daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried me on her lap, in a

box tied about her waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with the

softest cloth she could get, well quilted underneath, furnished it with

her baby’s bed, provided me with linen and other necessaries, and made

everything as convenient as she could. We had no other company but a

boy of the house, who rode after us with the luggage.

My master’s design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and to

step out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles, to any village, or

person of quality’s house, where he might expect custom. We made easy

journeys, of not above seven or eight score miles a day; for

Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me, complained she was tired with

the trotting of the horse. She often took me out of my box, at my own

desire, to give me air, and show me the country, but always held me

fast by a leading-string. We passed over five or six rivers, many

degrees broader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges: and there was

hardly a rivulet so small as the Thames at London Bridge. We were ten

weeks in our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns, besides

many villages, and private families.

On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in

their language _Lorbrulgrud_, or Pride of the Universe. My master took

a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far from the royal

palace, and put out bills in the usual form, containing an exact

description of my person and parts. He hired a large room between three

and four hundred feet wide. He provided a table sixty feet in diameter,

upon which I was to act my part, and pallisadoed it round three feet

from the edge, and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I was

shown ten times a day, to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I

could now speak the language tolerably well, and perfectly understood

every word, that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learnt their

alphabet, and could make a shift to explain a sentence here and there;

for Glumdalclitch had been my instructor while we were at home, and at

leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her

pocket, not much larger than a Sanson’s Atlas; it was a common treatise

for the use of young girls, giving a short account of their religion:

out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted the words.

CHAPTER III.

The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his master the

farmer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with his majesty’s

great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the author. He is in

high favour with the queen. He stands up for the honour of his own

country. His quarrels with the queen’s dwarf.

The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few weeks, a

very considerable change in my health: the more my master got by me,

the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and was

almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer observed it, and concluding I

must soon die, resolved to make as good a hand of me as he could. While

he was thus reasoning and resolving with himself, a _sardral_, or

gentleman-usher, came from court, commanding my master to carry me

immediately thither for the diversion of the queen and her ladies. Some

of the latter had already been to see me, and reported strange things

of my beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her majesty, and those who

attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my demeanour. I fell

on my knees, and begged the honour of kissing her imperial foot; but

this gracious princess held out her little finger towards me, after I

was set on the table, which I embraced in both my arms, and put the tip

of it with the utmost respect to my lip. She made me some general

questions about my country and my travels, which I answered as

distinctly, and in as few words as I could. She asked, “whether I could

be content to live at court?” I bowed down to the board of the table,

and humbly answered “that I was my master’s slave: but, if I were at my

own disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her majesty’s

service.” She then asked my master, “whether he was willing to sell me

at a good price?” He, who apprehended I could not live a month, was

ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold,

which were ordered him on the spot, each piece being about the bigness

of eight hundred moidores; but allowing for the proportion of all

things between that country and Europe, and the high price of gold

among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in

England. I then said to the queen, “since I was now her majesty’s most

humble creature and vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch,

who had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and understood

to do it so well, might be admitted into her service, and continue to

be my nurse and instructor.”

Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer’s consent,

who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at court, and the

poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master

withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good

service; to which I replied not a word, only making him a slight bow.

The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone out of

the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majesty,

“that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than his not

dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature, found by chance in

his fields: which obligation was amply recompensed, by the gain he had

made in showing me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now

sold me for. That the life I had since led was laborious enough to kill

an animal of ten times my strength. That my health was much impaired,

by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every hour of the

day; and that, if my master had not thought my life in danger, her

majesty would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all

fear of being ill-treated under the protection of so great and good an

empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight

of her subjects, the phœnix of the creation, so I hoped my late

master’s apprehensions would appear to be groundless; for I already

found my spirits revive, by the influence of her most august presence.”

This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties and

hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiar

to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from Glumdalclitch,

while she was carrying me to court.

The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking,

was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive

an animal. She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king, who

was then retired to his cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much gravity

and austere countenance, not well observing my shape at first view,

asked the queen after a cold manner “how long it was since she grew

fond of a _splacnuck_?” for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay

upon my breast in her majesty’s right hand. But this princess, who has

an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my feet upon the

scrutoire, and commanded me to give his majesty an account of myself,

which I did in a very few words: and Glumdalclitch who attended at the

cabinet door, and could not endure I should be out of her sight, being

admitted, confirmed all that had passed from my arrival at her father’s

house.

The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions,

had been educated in the study of philosophy, and particularly

mathematics; yet when he observed my shape exactly, and saw me walk

erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might be a piece of

clock-work (which is in that country arrived to a very great

perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But when he heard my

voice, and found what I delivered to be regular and rational, he could

not conceal his astonishment. He was by no means satisfied with the

relation I gave him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought

it a story concerted between Glumdalclitch and her father, who had

taught me a set of words to make me sell at a better price. Upon this

imagination, he put several other questions to me, and still received

rational answers: no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and

an imperfect knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which

I had learned at the farmer’s house, and did not suit the polite style

of a court.

His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their

weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country. These

gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with much nicety,

were of different opinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could

not be produced according to the regular laws of nature, because I was

not framed with a capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness,

or climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth. They observed by

my teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a

carnivorous animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and

field mice, with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I

should be able to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other

insects, which they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that

I could not possibly do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I

might be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by

the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished; and

that I had lived several years, as it was manifest from my beard, the

stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a magnifying glass. They

would not allow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all

degrees of comparison; for the queen’s favourite dwarf, the smallest

ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much

debate, they concluded unanimously, that I was only _relplum scalcath_,

which is interpreted literally _lusus naturæ_; a determination exactly

agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose professors,

disdaining the old evasion of occult causes, whereby the followers of

Aristotle endeavoured in vain to disguise their ignorance, have

invented this wonderful solution of all difficulties, to the

unspeakable advancement of human knowledge.

After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two.

I applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, “that I came

from a country which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and

of my own stature; where the animals, trees, and houses, were all in

proportion, and where, by consequence, I might be as able to defend

myself, and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty’s subjects could

do here; which I took for a full answer to those gentlemen’s

arguments.” To this they only replied with a smile of contempt, saying,

“that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson.” The king,

who had a much better understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent

for the farmer, who by good fortune was not yet gone out of town.

Having therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him

with me and the young girl, his majesty began to think that what we

told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to order that a

particular care should be taken of me; and was of opinion that

Glumdalclitch should still continue in her office of tending me,

because he observed we had a great affection for each other. A

convenient apartment was provided for her at court: she had a sort of

governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to dress her,

and two other servants for menial offices; but the care of me was

wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded her own

cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might serve me for a bedchamber,

after the model that Glumdalclitch and I should agree upon. This man

was a most ingenious artist, and according to my direction, in three

weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of sixteen feet square, and

twelve high, with sash-windows, a door, and two closets, like a London

bed-chamber. The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted up and

down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty’s

upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made it

with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the roof

over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little curiosities,

undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and frames, of a substance

not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a cabinet to put my things in.

The room was quilted on all sides, as well as the floor and the

ceiling, to prevent any accident from the carelessness of those who

carried me, and to break the force of a jolt, when I went in a coach. I

desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in.

The smith, after several attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen

among them, for I have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman’s

house in England. I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my own,

fearing Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the

thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes, not much

thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed

to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly resembling

the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave and decent

habit.

The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not dine without

me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her majesty ate, just

at her left elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood on a

stool on the floor near my table, to assist and take care of me. I had

an entire set of silver dishes and plates, and other necessaries,

which, in proportion to those of the queen, were not much bigger than

what I have seen in a London toy-shop for the furniture of a

baby-house: these my little nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box,

and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No

person dined with the queen but the two princesses royal, the eldest

sixteen years old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a month.

Her majesty used to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of

which I carved for myself, and her diversion was to see me eat in

miniature: for the queen (who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up,

at one mouthful, as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a

meal, which to me was for some time a very nauseous sight. She would

craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although

it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey; and put a

bit of bread into her mouth as big as two twelve-penny loaves. She

drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a draught. Her knives

were twice as long as a scythe, set straight upon the handle. The

spoons, forks, and other instruments, were all in the same proportion.

I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me, out of curiosity, to see some

of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of those enormous knives

and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then

beheld so terrible a sight.

It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed, is

their Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both sexes,

dine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I was now become

a great favourite; and at these times, my little chair and table were

placed at his left hand, before one of the salt-cellars. This prince

took a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners,

religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe; wherein I gave him

the best account I was able. His apprehension was so clear, and his

judgment so exact, that he made very wise reflections and observations

upon all I said. But I confess, that, after I had been a little too

copious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade and wars by

sea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state; the

prejudices of his education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear

taking me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently with the other,

after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me, “whether I was a whig or

tory?” Then turning to his first minister, who waited behind him with a

white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the Royal Sovereign, he

observed “how contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be

mimicked by such diminutive insects as I: and yet,” says he, “I dare

engage these creatures have their titles and distinctions of honour;

they contrive little nests and burrows, that they call houses and

cities; they make a figure in dress and equipage; they love, they

fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray!” And thus he continued

on, while my colour came and went several times, with indignation, to

hear our noble country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of

France, the arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and

truth, the pride and envy of the world, so contemptuously treated.

But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature

thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after

having been accustomed several months to the sight and converse of this

people, and observed every object upon which I cast my eyes to be of

proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from

their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a

company of English lords and ladies in their finery and birth-day

clothes, acting their several parts in the most courtly manner of

strutting, and bowing, and prating, to say the truth, I should have

been strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the king and his

grandees did at me. Neither, indeed, could I forbear smiling at myself,

when the queen used to place me upon her hand towards a looking-glass,

by which both our persons appeared before me in full view together; and

there could be nothing more ridiculous than the comparison; so that I

really began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual

size.

Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen’s dwarf; who

being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I verily

think he was not full thirty feet high), became so insolent at seeing a

creature so much beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger

and look big as he passed by me in the queen’s antechamber, while I was

standing on some table talking with the lords or ladies of the court,

and he seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness; against

which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging

him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usually in the mouths of

court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was so

nettled with something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon

the frame of her majesty’s chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was

sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large

silver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell

over head and ears, and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it might

have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that instant happened

to be at the other end of the room, and the queen was in such a fright,

that she wanted presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran

to my relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a quart of

cream. I was put to bed: however, I received no other damage than the

loss of a suit of clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was

soundly whipt, and as a farther punishment, forced to drink up the bowl

of cream into which he had thrown me: neither was he ever restored to

favour; for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of high

quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction; for

I could not tell to what extremities such a malicious urchin might have

carried his resentment.

He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing,

although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would have

immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to

intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate, and,

after knocking out the marrow, placed the bone again in the dish erect,

as it stood before; the dwarf, watching his opportunity, while

Glumdalclitch was gone to the side-board, mounted the stool that she

stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and

squeezing my legs together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my

waist, where I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous figure.

I believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was become of

me; for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes seldom get

their meat hot, my legs were not scalded, only my stockings and

breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my entreaty, had no other

punishment than a sound whipping.

I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my fearfulness;

and she used to ask me whether the people of my country were as great

cowards as myself? The occasion was this: the kingdom is much pestered

with flies in summer; and these odious insects, each of them as big as

a Dunstable lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with

their continual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would

sometimes alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome excrement,

or spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to the

natives of that country, whose large optics were not so acute as mine,

in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nose, or

forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling very offensively;

and I could easily trace that viscous matter, which, our naturalists

tell us, enables those creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a

ceiling. I had much ado to defend myself against these detestable

animals, and could not forbear starting when they came on my face. It

was the common practice of the dwarf, to catch a number of these

insects in his hand, as schoolboys do among us, and let them out

suddenly under my nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the

queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my knife, as they flew

in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.

I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in a box upon a

window, as she usually did in fair days to give me air (for I durst not

venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do

with cages in England), after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat

down at my table to eat a piece of sweet cake for my breakfast, above

twenty wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the room, humming

louder than the drones of as many bagpipes. Some of them seized my

cake, and carried it piecemeal away; others flew about my head and

face, confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the utmost

terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw my

hanger, and attack them in the air. I dispatched four of them, but the

rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These insects were as

large as partridges: I took out their stings, found them an inch and a

half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved them all; and

having since shown them, with some other curiosities, in several parts

of Europe, upon my return to England I gave three of them to Gresham

College, and kept the fourth for myself.

CHAPTER IV.

The country described. A proposal for correcting modern maps. The

king’s palace; and some account of the metropolis. The author’s way of

travelling. The chief temple described.

I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country, as

far as I travelled in it, which was not above two thousand miles round

Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the queen, whom I always attended,

never went farther when she accompanied the king in his progresses, and

there staid till his majesty returned from viewing his frontiers. The

whole extent of this prince’s dominions reaches about six thousand

miles in length, and from three to five in breadth: whence I cannot but

conclude, that our geographers of Europe are in a great error, by

supposing nothing but sea between Japan and California; for it was ever

my opinion, that there must be a balance of earth to counterpoise the

great continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their

maps and charts, by joining this vast tract of land to the north-west

parts of America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them my assistance.

The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the north-east by a ridge of

mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether impassable, by reason

of the volcanoes upon the tops: neither do the most learned know what

sort of mortals inhabit beyond those mountains, or whether they be

inhabited at all. On the three other sides, it is bounded by the ocean.

There is not one seaport in the whole kingdom: and those parts of the

coasts into which the rivers issue, are so full of pointed rocks, and

the sea generally so rough, that there is no venturing with the

smallest of their boats; so that these people are wholly excluded from

any commerce with the rest of the world. But the large rivers are full

of vessels, and abound with excellent fish; for they seldom get any

from the sea, because the sea fish are of the same size with those in

Europe, and consequently not worth catching; whereby it is manifest,

that nature, in the production of plants and animals of so

extraordinary a bulk, is wholly confined to this continent, of which I

leave the reasons to be determined by philosophers. However, now and

then they take a whale that happens to be dashed against the rocks,

which the common people feed on heartily. These whales I have known so

large, that a man could hardly carry one upon his shoulders; and

sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in hampers to Lorbrulgrud; I

saw one of them in a dish at the king’s table, which passed for a

rarity, but I did not observe he was fond of it; for I think, indeed,

the bigness disgusted him, although I have seen one somewhat larger in

Greenland.

The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities, near a

hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To satisfy my

curious reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. This city

stands upon almost two equal parts, on each side the river that passes

through. It contains above eighty thousand houses, and about six

hundred thousand inhabitants. It is in length three _glomglungs_ (which

make about fifty-four English miles,) and two and a half in breadth; as

I measured it myself in the royal map made by the king’s order, which

was laid on the ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet:

I paced the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and,

computing by the scale, measured it pretty exactly.

The king’s palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings, about

seven miles round: the chief rooms are generally two hundred and forty

feet high, and broad and long in proportion. A coach was allowed to

Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her governess frequently took her out to

see the town, or go among the shops; and I was always of the party,

carried in my box; although the girl, at my own desire, would often

take me out, and hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently

view the houses and the people, as we passed along the streets. I

reckoned our coach to be about a square of Westminster-hall, but not

altogether so high: however, I cannot be very exact. One day the

governess ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where the

beggars, watching their opportunity, crowded to the sides of the coach,

and gave me the most horrible spectacle that ever a European eye

beheld. There was a woman with a cancer in her breast, swelled to a

monstrous size, full of holes, in two or three of which I could have

easily crept, and covered my whole body. There was a fellow with a wen

in his neck, larger than five wool-packs; and another, with a couple of

wooden legs, each about twenty feet high. But the most hateful sight of

all, was the lice crawling on their clothes. I could see distinctly the

limbs of these vermin with my naked eye, much better than those of a

European louse through a microscope, and their snouts with which they

rooted like swine. They were the first I had ever beheld, and I should

have been curious enough to dissect one of them, if I had had proper

instruments, which I unluckily left behind me in the ship, although,

indeed, the sight was so nauseous, that it perfectly turned my stomach.

Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen ordered

a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet square, and ten

high, for the convenience of travelling; because the other was somewhat

too large for Glumdalclitch’s lap, and cumbersome in the coach; it was

made by the same artist, whom I directed in the whole contrivance. This

travelling-closet was an exact square, with a window in the middle of

three of the squares, and each window was latticed with iron wire on

the outside, to prevent accidents in long journeys. On the fourth side,

which had no window, two strong staples were fixed, through which the

person that carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put a

leathern belt, and buckled it about his waist. This was always the

office of some grave trusty servant, in whom I could confide, whether I

attended the king and queen in their progresses, or were disposed to

see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or minister of state

in the court, when Glumdalclitch happened to be out of order; for I

soon began to be known and esteemed among the greatest officers, I

suppose more upon account of their majesties’ favour, than any merit of

my own. In journeys, when I was weary of the coach, a servant on

horseback would buckle on my box, and place it upon a cushion before

him; and there I had a full prospect of the country on three sides,

from my three windows. I had, in this closet, a field-bed and a

hammock, hung from the ceiling, two chairs and a table, neatly screwed

to the floor, to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of the

horse or the coach. And having been long used to sea-voyages, those

motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much discompose me.

Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my

travelling-closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind of

open sedan, after the fashion of the country, borne by four men, and

attended by two others in the queen’s livery. The people, who had often

heard of me, were very curious to crowd about the sedan, and the girl

was complaisant enough to make the bearers stop, and to take me in her

hand, that I might be more conveniently seen.

I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the tower

belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the kingdom.

Accordingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I may truly say I

came back disappointed; for the height is not above three thousand

feet, reckoning from the ground to the highest pinnacle top; which,

allowing for the difference between the size of those people and us in

Europe, is no great matter for admiration, nor at all equal in

proportion (if I rightly remember) to Salisbury steeple. But, not to

detract from a nation, to which, during my life, I shall acknowledge

myself extremely obliged, it must be allowed, that whatever this famous

tower wants in height, is amply made up in beauty and strength: for the

walls are near a hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each

is about forty feet square, and adorned on all sides with statues of

gods and emperors, cut in marble, larger than the life, placed in their

several niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down from

one of these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and found

it exactly four feet and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch wrapped it up

in her handkerchief, and carried it home in her pocket, to keep among

other trinkets, of which the girl was very fond, as children at her age

usually are.

The king’s kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and

about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide, by ten

paces, as the cupola at St. Paul’s: for I measured the latter on

purpose, after my return. But if I should describe the kitchen grate,

the prodigious pots and kettles, the joints of meat turning on the

spits, with many other particulars, perhaps I should be hardly

believed; at least a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a

little, as travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which censure

I fear I have run too much into the other extreme; and that if this

treatise should happen to be translated into the language of

Brobdingnag (which is the general name of that kingdom,) and

transmitted thither, the king and his people would have reason to

complain that I had done them an injury, by a false and diminutive

representation.

His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables: they

are generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But, when he goes

abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a military guard

of five hundred horse, which, indeed, I thought was the most splendid

sight that could be ever beheld, till I saw part of his army in

battalia, whereof I shall find another occasion to speak.

CHAPTER V.

Several adventures that happened to the author. The execution of a

criminal. The author shows his skill in navigation.

I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness had

not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome accidents; some of

which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into

the gardens of the court in my smaller box, and would sometimes take me

out of it, and hold me in her hand, or set me down to walk. I remember,

before the dwarf left the queen, he followed us one day into those

gardens, and my nurse having set me down, he and I being close

together, near some dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a

silly allusion between him and the trees, which happens to hold in

their language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue,

watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, shook

it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as

large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit

me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on my

face; but I received no other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my

desire, because I had given the provocation.

Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to divert

myself, while she walked at some distance with her governess. In the

meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent shower of hail, that I was

immediately, by the force of it, struck to the ground: and when I was

down, the hailstones gave me such cruel bangs all over the body, as if

I had been pelted with tennis-balls; however, I made a shift to creep

on all fours, and shelter myself, by lying flat on my face, on the

lee-side of a border of lemon-thyme, but so bruised from head to foot,

that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be

wondered at, because nature, in that country, observing the same

proportion through all her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen

hundred times as large as one in Europe; which I can assert upon

experience, having been so curious as to weigh and measure them.

But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden, when

my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure place (which I

often entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my own thoughts,) and

having left my box at home, to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went

to another part of the garden with her governess and some ladies of her

acquaintance. While she was absent, and out of hearing, a small white

spaniel that belonged to one of the chief gardeners, having got by

accident into the garden, happened to range near the place where I lay:

the dog, following the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his

mouth, ran straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently

on the ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that I was

carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing my

clothes. But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a great

kindness for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me up in both

his hands, and asked me how I did? but I was so amazed and out of

breath, that I could not speak a word. In a few minutes I came to

myself, and he carried me safe to my little nurse, who, by this time,

had returned to the place where she left me, and was in cruel agonies

when I did not appear, nor answer when she called. She severely

reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was

hushed up, and never known at court, for the girl was afraid of the

queen’s anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it would not be for

my reputation, that such a story should go about.

This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust me

abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of this

resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little unlucky

adventures, that happened in those times when I was left by myself.

Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made a stoop at me, and if I had

not resolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a thick espalier, he

would have certainly carried me away in his talons. Another time,

walking to the top of a fresh mole-hill, I fell to my neck in the hole,

through which that animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie,

not worth remembering, to excuse myself for spoiling my clothes. I

likewise broke my right shin against the shell of a snail, which I

happened to stumble over, as I was walking alone and thinking on poor

England.

I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe, in

those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at

all afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard’s distance, looking

for worms and other food, with as much indifference and security as if

no creature at all were near them. I remember, a thrush had the

confidence to snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a piece of cake

that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast. When I attempted

to catch any of these birds, they would boldly turn against me,

endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst not venture within their

reach; and then they would hop back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or

snails, as they did before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and

threw it with all my strength so luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked

him down, and seizing him by the neck with both my hands, ran with him

in triumph to my nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned,

recovering himself gave me so many boxes with his wings, on both sides

of my head and body, though I held him at arm’s length, and was out of

the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let him go.

But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who wrung off the

bird’s neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by the queen’s command.

This linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be somewhat larger

than an English swan.

The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their apartments,

and desired she would bring me along with her, on purpose to have the

pleasure of seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked

from top to toe, and lay me at full length in their bosoms; wherewith I

was much disgusted because, to say the truth, a very offensive smell

came from their skins; which I do not mention, or intend, to the

disadvantage of those excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of

respect; but I conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to

my littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more

disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the same

quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their natural

smell was much more supportable, than when they used perfumes, under

which I immediately swooned away. I cannot forget, that an intimate

friend of mine in Lilliput, took the freedom in a warm day, when I had

used a good deal of exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me,

although I am as little faulty that way, as most of my sex: but I

suppose his faculty of smelling was as nice with regard to me, as mine

was to that of this people. Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing

justice to the queen my mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose

persons were as sweet as those of any lady in England.

That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of honour (when my

nurse carried me to visit them) was, to see them use me without any

manner of ceremony, like a creature who had no sort of consequence: for

they would strip themselves to the skin, and put on their smocks in my

presence, while I was placed on their toilet, directly before their

naked bodies, which I am sure to me was very far from being a tempting

sight, or from giving me any other emotions than those of horror and

disgust: their skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously

coloured, when I saw them near, with a mole here and there as broad as

a trencher, and hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say

nothing farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they

at all scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to

the quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above

three tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a pleasant,

frolicsome girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon one of

her nipples, with many other tricks, wherein the reader will excuse me

for not being over particular. But I was so much displeased, that I

entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some excuse for not seeing that

young lady any more.

One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse’s governess,

came and pressed them both to see an execution. It was of a man, who

had murdered one of that gentleman’s intimate acquaintance.

Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the company, very much against

her inclination, for she was naturally tender-hearted: and, as for

myself, although I abhorred such kind of spectacles, yet my curiosity

tempted me to see something that I thought must be extraordinary. The

malefactor was fixed in a chair upon a scaffold erected for that

purpose, and his head cut off at one blow, with a sword of about forty

feet long. The veins and arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity

of blood, and so high in the air, that the great _jet d’eau_ at

Versailles was not equal to it for the time it lasted: and the head,

when it fell on the scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me

start, although I was at least half an English mile distant.

The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages, and took

all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I

understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and whether a little

exercise of rowing might not be convenient for my health? I answered,

that I understood both very well: for although my proper employment had

been to be surgeon or doctor to the ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I

was forced to work like a common mariner. But I could not see how this

could be done in their country, where the smallest wherry was equal to

a first-rate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage

would never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would

contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a

place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by my

instructions, in ten days, finished a pleasure-boat with all its

tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was

finished, the queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in her lap

to the king, who ordered it to be put into a cistern full of water,

with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my two sculls,

or little oars, for want of room. But the queen had before contrived

another project. She ordered the joiner to make a wooden trough of

three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight deep; which, being well

pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed on the floor, along the wall,

in an outer room of the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to let

out the water, when it began to grow stale; and two servants could

easily fill it in half an hour. Here I often used to row for my own

diversion, as well as that of the queen and her ladies, who thought

themselves well entertained with my skill and agility. Sometimes I

would put up my sail, and then my business was only to steer, while the

ladies gave me a gale with their fans; and, when they were weary, some

of their pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I

showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased. When I

had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into her closet,

and hung it on a nail to dry.

In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost me

my life; for, one of the pages having put my boat into the trough, the

governess who attended Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up, to

place me in the boat: but I happened to slip through her fingers, and

should infallibly have fallen down forty feet upon the floor, if, by

the luckiest chance in the world, I had not been stopped by a

corking-pin that stuck in the good gentlewoman’s stomacher; the head of

the pin passing between my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and

thus I was held by the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my

relief.

Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my

trough every third day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a

huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay

concealed till I was put into my boat, but then, seeing a

resting-place, climbed up, and made it lean so much on one side, that I

was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to prevent

overturning. When the frog was got in, it hopped at once half the

length of the boat, and then over my head, backward and forward,

daubing my face and clothes with its odious slime. The largeness of its

features made it appear the most deformed animal that can be conceived.

However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged

it a good while with one of my sculls, and at last forced it to leap

out of the boat.

But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was from a

monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen. Glumdalclitch

had locked me up in her closet, while she went somewhere upon business,

or a visit. The weather being very warm, the closet-window was left

open, as well as the windows and the door of my bigger box, in which I

usually lived, because of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat

quietly meditating at my table, I heard something bounce in at the

closet-window, and skip about from one side to the other: whereat,

although I was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not

stirring from my seat; and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking

and leaping up and down, till at last he came to my box, which he

seemed to view with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the

door and every window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room; or

box; but the monkey looking in at every side, put me in such a fright,

that I wanted presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I

might easily have done. After some time spent in peeping, grinning, and

chattering, he at last espied me; and reaching one of his paws in at

the door, as a cat does when she plays with a mouse, although I often

shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized the lappet of my coat

(which being made of that country silk, was very thick and strong), and

dragged me out. He took me up in his right fore-foot and held me as a

nurse does a child she is going to suckle, just as I have seen the same

sort of creature do with a kitten in Europe; and when I offered to

struggle he squeezed me so hard, that I thought it more prudent to

submit. I have good reason to believe, that he took me for a young one

of his own species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his

other paw. In these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the

closet door, as if somebody were opening it: whereupon he suddenly

leaped up to the window at which he had come in, and thence upon the

leads and gutters, walking upon three legs, and holding me in the

fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next to ours. I heard

Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was carrying me out. The

poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter of the palace was all in

an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the monkey was seen by

hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge of a building, holding me

like a baby in one of his forepaws, and feeding me with the other, by

cramming into my mouth some victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on

one side of his chaps, and patting me when I would not eat; whereat

many of the rabble below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think

they justly ought to be blamed, for, without question, the sight was

ridiculous enough to every body but myself. Some of the people threw up

stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was strictly

forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had been dashed out.

The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men; which the

monkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed, not being

able to make speed enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge

tile, and made his escape. Here I sat for some time, five hundred yards

from the ground, expecting every moment to be blown down by the wind,

or to fall by my own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from

the ridge to the eaves; but an honest lad, one of my nurse’s footmen,

climbed up, and putting me into his breeches pocket, brought me down

safe.

I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had crammed down

my throat: but my dear little nurse picked it out of my mouth with a

small needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which gave me great relief.

Yet I was so weak and bruised in the sides with the squeezes given me

by this odious animal, that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight.

The king, queen, and all the court, sent every day to inquire after my

health; and her majesty made me several visits during my sickness. The

monkey was killed, and an order made, that no such animal should be

kept about the palace.

When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks for

his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this

adventure. He asked me, “what my thoughts and speculations were, while

I lay in the monkey’s paw; how I liked the victuals he gave me; his

manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the roof had sharpened

my stomach.” He desired to know, “what I would have done upon such an

occasion in my own country.” I told his majesty, “that in Europe we had

no monkeys, except such as were brought for curiosity from other

places, and so small, that I could deal with a dozen of them together,

if they presumed to attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with

whom I was so lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant),

if my fears had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my

hanger,” (looking fiercely, and clapping my hand on the hilt, as I

spoke) “when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have

given him such a wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it with

more haste than he put it in.” This I delivered in a firm tone, like a

person who was jealous lest his courage should be called in question.

However, my speech produced nothing else beside a loud laughter, which

all the respect due to his majesty from those about him could not make

them contain. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man

to endeavour to do himself honour among those who are out of all degree

of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my

own behaviour very frequent in England since my return; where a little

contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or

common sense, shall presume to look with importance, and put himself

upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.

I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story: and

Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch enough to

inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that she thought would

be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had been out of order, was

carried by her governess to take the air about an hour’s distance, or

thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a small

foot-path in a field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box,

I went out of it to walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must

need try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but

unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle up to

my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of the footmen

wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I was filthily

bemired; and my nurse confined me to my box, till we returned home;

where the queen was soon informed of what had passed, and the footmen

spread it about the court: so that all the mirth for some days was at

my expense.

CHAPTER VI.

Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen. He

shows his skill in music. The king inquires into the state of England,

which the author relates to him. The king’s observations thereon.

I used to attend the king’s levee once or twice a week, and had often

seen him under the barber’s hand, which indeed was at first very

terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as long as an

ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the country,

was only shaved twice a week. I once prevailed on the barber to give me

some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the

strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and cut it

like the back of a comb, making several holes in it at equal distances

with as small a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in

the stumps so artificially, scraping and sloping them with my knife

toward the points, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a

seasonable supply, my own being so much broken in the teeth, that it

was almost useless: neither did I know any artist in that country so

nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another.

And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many of my

leisure hours. I desired the queen’s woman to save for me the combings

of her majesty’s hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity; and

consulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received general

orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him to make two

chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box, and to bore little

holes with a fine awl, round those parts where I designed the backs and

seats; through these holes I wove the strongest hairs I could pick out,

just after the manner of cane chairs in England. When they were

finished, I made a present of them to her majesty; who kept them in her

cabinet, and used to show them for curiosities, as indeed they were the

wonder of every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon

one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting I

would rather die than place a dishonourable part of my body on those

precious hairs, that once adorned her majesty’s head. Of these hairs

(as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewise made a neat little

purse, about five feet long, with her majesty’s name deciphered in gold

letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the queen’s consent. To say

the truth, it was more for show than use, being not of strength to bear

the weight of the larger coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it

but some little toys that girls are fond of.

The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court, to

which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to hear

them: but the noise was so great that I could hardly distinguish the

tunes. I am confident that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army,

beating and sounding together just at your ears, could not equal it. My

practice was to have my box removed from the place where the performers

sat, as far as I could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and

draw the window curtains; after which I found their music not

disagreeable.

I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet.

Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended twice a

week to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat resembled

that instrument, and was played upon in the same manner. A fancy came

into my head, that I would entertain the king and queen with an English

tune upon this instrument. But this appeared extremely difficult: for

the spinet was near sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide,

so that with my arms extended I could not reach to above five keys, and

to press them down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which

would be too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived

was this: I prepared two round sticks, about the bigness of common

cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered the

thicker ends with pieces of a mouse’s skin, that by rapping on them I

might neither damage the tops of the keys nor interrupt the sound.

Before the spinet a bench was placed, about four feet below the keys,

and I was put upon the bench. I ran sideling upon it, that way and

this, as fast as I could, banging the proper keys with my two sticks,

and made a shift to play a jig, to the great satisfaction of both their

majesties; but it was the most violent exercise I ever underwent; and

yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor consequently play the

bass and treble together, as other artists do; which was a great

disadvantage to my performance.

The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent

understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in my

box, and set upon the table in his closet: he would then command me to

bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit down within three yards

distance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a

level with his face. In this manner I had several conversations with

him. I one day took the freedom to tell his majesty, “that the contempt

he discovered towards Europe, and the rest of the world, did not seem

answerable to those excellent qualities of mind that he was master of;

that reason did not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the

contrary, we observed in our country, that the tallest persons were

usually the least provided with it; that among other animals, bees and

ants had the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, than many

of the larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I

hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service.” The king

heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better opinion of

me than he had ever before. He desired “I would give him as exact an

account of the government of England as I possibly could; because, as

fond as princes commonly are of their own customs (for so he

conjectured of other monarchs, by my former discourses), he should be

glad to hear of any thing that might deserve imitation.”

Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for the

tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to

celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style equal to

its merits and felicity.

I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our dominions

consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms, under

one sovereign, beside our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the

fertility of our soil, and the temperature of our climate. I then spoke

at large upon the constitution of an English parliament; partly made up

of an illustrious body called the House of Peers; persons of the

noblest blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I

described that extraordinary care always taken of their education in

arts and arms, to qualify them for being counsellors both to the king

and kingdom; to have a share in the legislature; to be members of the

highest court of judicature, whence there can be no appeal; and to be

champions always ready for the defence of their prince and country, by

their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament and

bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned

ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of their virtue, from which

their posterity were never once known to degenerate. To these were

joined several holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the title

of bishops, whose peculiar business is to take care of religion, and of

those who instruct the people therein. These were searched and sought

out through the whole nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors,

among such of the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by

the sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition; who were

indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.

That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly called

the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, freely picked

and culled out by the people themselves, for their great abilities and

love of their country, to represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And

that these two bodies made up the most august assembly in Europe; to

whom, in conjunction with the prince, the whole legislature is

committed.

I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the judges, those

venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for determining

the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the

punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I mentioned the prudent

management of our treasury; the valour and achievements of our forces,

by sea and land. I computed the number of our people, by reckoning how

many millions there might be of each religious sect, or political party

among us. I did not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other

particular which I thought might redound to the honour of my country.

And I finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and

events in England for about a hundred years past.

This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of several

hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention, frequently

taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of what questions

he intended to ask me.

When I had put an end to these long discourses, his majesty, in a sixth

audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, queries, and

objections, upon every article. He asked, “What methods were used to

cultivate the minds and bodies of our young nobility, and in what kind

of business they commonly spent the first and teachable parts of their

lives? What course was taken to supply that assembly, when any noble

family became extinct? What qualifications were necessary in those who

are to be created new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of

money to a court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to

the public interest, ever happened to be the motive in those

advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws of

their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide

the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last resort? Whether

they were always so free from avarice, partialities, or want, that a

bribe, or some other sinister view, could have no place among them?

Whether those holy lords I spoke of were always promoted to that rank

upon account of their knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity

of their lives; had never been compliers with the times, while they

were common priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some nobleman,

whose opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were

admitted into that assembly?”

He then desired to know, “What arts were practised in electing those

whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong purse, might

not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before their own

landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the neighbourhood? How

it came to pass, that people were so violently bent upon getting into

this assembly, which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense, often

to the ruin of their families, without any salary or pension? because

this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that

his majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere.”

And he desired to know, “Whether such zealous gentlemen could have any

views of refunding themselves for the charges and trouble they were at

by sacrificing the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious

prince, in conjunction with a corrupted ministry?” He multiplied his

questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon every part of this head,

proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I think it not

prudent or convenient to repeat.

Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty

desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the better

able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in

chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, “What time was

usually spent in determining between right and wrong, and what degree

of expense? Whether advocates and orators had liberty to plead in

causes manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive? Whether

party, in religion or politics, were observed to be of any weight in

the scale of justice? Whether those pleading orators were persons

educated in the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial,

national, and other local customs? Whether they or their judges had any

part in penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of

interpreting, and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they had

ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same cause, and

cited precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether they were a rich

or a poor corporation? Whether they received any pecuniary reward for

pleading, or delivering their opinions? And particularly, whether they

were ever admitted as members in the lower senate?”

He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said, “he thought

my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at about five or

six millions a year, and when I came to mention the issues, he found

they sometimes amounted to more than double; for the notes he had taken

were very particular in this point, because he hoped, as he told me,

that the knowledge of our conduct might be useful to him, and he could

not be deceived in his calculations. But, if what I told him were true,

he was still at a loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate, like

a private person.” He asked me, “who were our creditors; and where we

found money to pay them?” He wondered to hear me talk of such

chargeable and expensive wars; “that certainly we must be a quarrelsome

people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that our generals must

needs be richer than our kings.” He asked, what business we had out of

our own islands, unless upon the score of trade, or treaty, or to

defend the coasts with our fleet?” Above all, he was amazed to hear me

talk of a mercenary standing army, in the midst of peace, and among a

free people. He said, “if we were governed by our own consent, in the

persons of our representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were

afraid, or against whom we were to fight; and would hear my opinion,

whether a private man’s house might not be better defended by himself,

his children, and family, than by half-a-dozen rascals, picked up at a

venture in the streets for small wages, who might get a hundred times

more by cutting their throats?”

He laughed at my “odd kind of arithmetic,” as he was pleased to call

it, “in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation drawn

from the several sects among us, in religion and politics.” He said,

“he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions prejudicial to the

public, should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to

conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any government to require the

first, so it was weakness not to enforce the second: for a man may be

allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for

cordials.”

He observed, “that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry, I

had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age this entertainment

was usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much of their time

it employed; whether it ever went so high as to affect their fortunes;

whether mean, vicious people, by their dexterity in that art, might not

arrive at great riches, and sometimes keep our very nobles in

dependence, as well as habituate them to vile companions, wholly take

them from the improvement of their minds, and force them, by the losses

they received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon

others?”

He was perfectly astonished with the historical account I gave him of

our affairs during the last century; protesting “it was only a heap of

conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments,

the very worst effects that avarice, faction, hypocrisy,

perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust, malice, and

ambition, could produce.”

His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate the

sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with the

answers I had given; then taking me into his hands, and stroking me

gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall never forget,

nor the manner he spoke them in: “My little friend Grildrig, you have

made a most admirable panegyric upon your country; you have clearly

proved, that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients

for qualifying a legislator; that laws are best explained, interpreted,

and applied, by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting,

confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you some lines of an

institution, which, in its original, might have been tolerable, but

these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by

corruptions. It does not appear, from all you have said, how any one

perfection is required toward the procurement of any one station among

you; much less, that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that

priests are advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their

conduct or valour; judges, for their integrity; senators, for the love

of their country; or counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself,”

continued the king, “who have spent the greatest part of your life in

travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped

many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered from your own

relation, and the answers I have with much pains wrung and extorted

from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most

pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to

crawl upon the surface of the earth.”

CHAPTER VII.

The author’s love of his country. He makes a proposal of much advantage

to the king, which is rejected. The king’s great ignorance in politics.

The learning of that country very imperfect and confined. The laws, and

military affairs, and parties in the state.

Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me from

concealing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover my

resentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I was forced

to rest with patience, while my noble and beloved country was so

injuriously treated. I am as heartily sorry as any of my readers can

possibly be, that such an occasion was given: but this prince happened

to be so curious and inquisitive upon every particular, that it could

not consist either with gratitude or good manners, to refuse giving him

what satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in

my own vindication, that I artfully eluded many of his questions, and

gave to every point a more favourable turn, by many degrees, than the

strictness of truth would allow. For I have always borne that laudable

partiality to my own country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so

much justice, recommends to an historian: I would hide the frailties

and deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and

beauties in the most advantageous light. This was my sincere endeavour

in those many discourses I had with that monarch, although it

unfortunately failed of success.

But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives wholly

secluded from the rest of the world, and must therefore be altogether

unacquainted with the manners and customs that most prevail in other

nations: the want of which knowledge will ever produce many prejudices,

and a certain narrowness of thinking, from which we, and the politer

countries of Europe, are wholly exempted. And it would be hard indeed,

if so remote a prince’s notions of virtue and vice were to be offered

as a standard for all mankind.

To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the miserable

effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a passage, which

will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate myself further into

his majesty’s favour, I told him of “an invention, discovered between

three and four hundred years ago, to make a certain powder, into a heap

of which, the smallest spark of fire falling, would kindle the whole in

a moment, although it were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up

in the air together, with a noise and agitation greater than thunder.

That a proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of

brass or iron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or

lead, with such violence and speed, as nothing was able to sustain its

force. That the largest balls thus discharged, would not only destroy

whole ranks of an army at once, but batter the strongest walls to the

ground, sink down ships, with a thousand men in each, to the bottom of

the sea, and when linked together by a chain, would cut through masts

and rigging, divide hundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all waste

before them. That we often put this powder into large hollow balls of

iron, and discharged them by an engine into some city we were

besieging, which would rip up the pavements, tear the houses to pieces,

burst and throw splinters on every side, dashing out the brains of all

who came near. That I knew the ingredients very well, which were cheap

and common; I understood the manner of compounding them, and could

direct his workmen how to make those tubes, of a size proportionable to

all other things in his majesty’s kingdom, and the largest need not be

above a hundred feet long; twenty or thirty of which tubes, charged

with the proper quantity of powder and balls, would batter down the

walls of the strongest town in his dominions in a few hours, or destroy

the whole metropolis, if ever it should pretend to dispute his absolute

commands.” This I humbly offered to his majesty, as a small tribute of

acknowledgment, in turn for so many marks that I had received, of his

royal favour and protection.

The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of those

terrible engines, and the proposal I had made. “He was amazed, how so

impotent and grovelling an insect as I” (these were his expressions)

“could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in so familiar a manner, as to

appear wholly unmoved at all the scenes of blood and desolation which I

had painted as the common effects of those destructive machines;

whereof,” he said, “some evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have been

the first contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although few

things delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in nature,

yet he would rather lose half his kingdom, than be privy to such a

secret; which he commanded me, as I valued any life, never to mention

any more.”

A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a prince

possessed of every quality which procures veneration, love, and esteem;

of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning, endowed with

admirable talents, and almost adored by his subjects, should, from a

nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof in Europe we can have no conception,

let slip an opportunity put into his hands that would have made him

absolute master of the lives, the liberties, and the fortunes of his

people! Neither do I say this, with the least intention to detract from

the many virtues of that excellent king, whose character, I am

sensible, will, on this account, be very much lessened in the opinion

of an English reader: but I take this defect among them to have risen

from their ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced politics into a

science, as the more acute wits of Europe have done. For, I remember

very well, in a discourse one day with the king, when I happened to

say, “there were several thousand books among us written upon the art

of government,” it gave him (directly contrary to my intention) a very

mean opinion of our understandings. He professed both to abominate and

despise all mystery, refinement, and intrigue, either in a prince or a

minister. He could not tell what I meant by secrets of state, where an

enemy, or some rival nation, were not in the case. He confined the

knowledge of governing within very narrow bounds, to common sense and

reason, to justice and lenity, to the speedy determination of civil and

criminal causes; with some other obvious topics, which are not worth

considering. And he gave it for his opinion, “that whoever could make

two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground

where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do

more essential service to his country, than the whole race of

politicians put together.”

The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in

morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be

allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to what may

be useful in life, to the improvement of agriculture, and all

mechanical arts; so that among us, it would be little esteemed. And as

to ideas, entities, abstractions, and transcendentals, I could never

drive the least conception into their heads.

No law in that country must exceed in words the number of letters in

their alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty. But indeed few

of them extend even to that length. They are expressed in the most

plain and simple terms, wherein those people are not mercurial enough

to discover above one interpretation: and to write a comment upon any

law, is a capital crime. As to the decision of civil causes, or

proceedings against criminals, their precedents are so few, that they

have little reason to boast of any extraordinary skill in either.

They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out of

mind: but their libraries are not very large; for that of the king,

which is reckoned the largest, does not amount to above a thousand

volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet long, whence I had

liberty to borrow what books I pleased. The queen’s joiner had

contrived in one of Glumdalclitch’s rooms, a kind of wooden machine

five-and-twenty feet high, formed like a standing ladder; the steps

were each fifty feet long. It was indeed a moveable pair of stairs, the

lowest end placed at ten feet distance from the wall of the chamber.

The book I had a mind to read, was put up leaning against the wall: I

first mounted to the upper step of the ladder, and turning my face

towards the book, began at the top of the page, and so walking to the

right and left about eight or ten paces, according to the length of the

lines, till I had gotten a little below the level of my eyes, and then

descending gradually till I came to the bottom: after which I mounted

again, and began the other page in the same manner, and so turned over

the leaf, which I could easily do with both my hands, for it was as

thick and stiff as a pasteboard, and in the largest folios not above

eighteen or twenty feet long.

Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for they

avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using various

expressions. I have perused many of their books, especially those in

history and morality. Among the rest, I was much diverted with a little

old treatise, which always lay in Glumdalclitch’s bed chamber, and

belonged to her governess, a grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in

writings of morality and devotion. The book treats of the weakness of

humankind, and is in little esteem, except among the women and the

vulgar. However, I was curious to see what an author of that country

could say upon such a subject. This writer went through all the usual

topics of European moralists, showing “how diminutive, contemptible,

and helpless an animal was man in his own nature; how unable to defend

himself from inclemencies of the air, or the fury of wild beasts: how

much he was excelled by one creature in strength, by another in speed,

by a third in foresight, by a fourth in industry.” He added, “that

nature was degenerated in these latter declining ages of the world, and

could now produce only small abortive births, in comparison of those in

ancient times.” He said “it was very reasonable to think, not only that

the species of men were originally much larger, but also that there

must have been giants in former ages; which, as it is asserted by

history and tradition, so it has been confirmed by huge bones and

skulls, casually dug up in several parts of the kingdom, far exceeding

the common dwindled race of men in our days.” He argued, “that the very

laws of nature absolutely required we should have been made, in the

beginning of a size more large and robust; not so liable to destruction

from every little accident, of a tile falling from a house, or a stone

cast from the hand of a boy, or being drowned in a little brook.” From

this way of reasoning, the author drew several moral applications,

useful in the conduct of life, but needless here to repeat. For my own

part, I could not avoid reflecting how universally this talent was

spread, of drawing lectures in morality, or indeed rather matter of

discontent and repining, from the quarrels we raise with nature. And I

believe, upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels might be shown as

ill-grounded among us as they are among that people.

As to their military affairs, they boast that the king’s army consists

of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and thirty-two thousand

horse: if that may be called an army, which is made up of tradesmen in

the several cities, and farmers in the country, whose commanders are

only the nobility and gentry, without pay or reward. They are indeed

perfect enough in their exercises, and under very good discipline,

wherein I saw no great merit; for how should it be otherwise, where

every farmer is under the command of his own landlord, and every

citizen under that of the principal men in his own city, chosen after

the manner of Venice, by ballot?

I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise, in

a great field near the city of twenty miles square. They were in all

not above twenty-five thousand foot, and six thousand horse; but it was

impossible for me to compute their number, considering the space of

ground they took up. A cavalier, mounted on a large steed, might be

about ninety feet high. I have seen this whole body of horse, upon a

word of command, draw their swords at once, and brandish them in the

air. Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so

astonishing! It looked as if ten thousand flashes of lightning were

darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky.

I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there is no

access from any other country, came to think of armies, or to teach his

people the practice of military discipline. But I was soon informed,

both by conversation and reading their histories; for, in the course of

many ages, they have been troubled with the same disease to which the

whole race of mankind is subject; the nobility often contending for

power, the people for liberty, and the king for absolute dominion. All

which, however happily tempered by the laws of that kingdom, have been

sometimes violated by each of the three parties, and have more than

once occasioned civil wars; the last whereof was happily put an end to

by this prince’s grandfather, in a general composition; and the

militia, then settled with common consent, has been ever since kept in

the strictest duty.

CHAPTER VIII.

The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. The author attends

them. The manner in which he leaves the country very particularly

related. He returns to England.

I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover my

liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or to

form any project with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in which I

sailed, was the first ever known to be driven within sight of that

coast, and the king had given strict orders, that if at any time

another appeared, it should be taken ashore, and with all its crew and

passengers brought in a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was strongly bent to

get me a woman of my own size, by whom I might propagate the breed: but

I think I should rather have died than undergone the disgrace of

leaving a posterity to be kept in cages, like tame canary-birds, and

perhaps, in time, sold about the kingdom, to persons of quality, for

curiosities. I was indeed treated with much kindness: I was the

favourite of a great king and queen, and the delight of the whole

court; but it was upon such a foot as ill became the dignity of

humankind. I could never forget those domestic pledges I had left

behind me. I wanted to be among people, with whom I could converse upon

even terms, and walk about the streets and fields without being afraid

of being trod to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance

came sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very common; the whole

story and circumstances of which I shall faithfully relate.

I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning of

the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen, in a

progress to the south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual, in

my travelling-box, which as I have already described, was a very

convenient closet, of twelve feet wide. And I had ordered a hammock to

be fixed, by silken ropes from the four corners at the top, to break

the jolts, when a servant carried me before him on horseback, as I

sometimes desired; and would often sleep in my hammock, while we were

upon the road. On the roof of my closet, not directly over the middle

of the hammock, I ordered the joiner to cut out a hole of a foot

square, to give me air in hot weather, as I slept; which hole I shut at

pleasure with a board that drew backward and forward through a groove.

When we came to our journey’s end, the king thought proper to pass a

few days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city within eighteen

English miles of the seaside. Glumdalclitch and I were much fatigued: I

had gotten a small cold, but the poor girl was so ill as to be confined

to her chamber. I longed to see the ocean, which must be the only scene

of my escape, if ever it should happen. I pretended to be worse than I

really was, and desired leave to take the fresh air of the sea, with a

page, whom I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted with

me. I shall never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch

consented, nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful of me,

bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some

forboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out in my box, about

half an hour’s walk from the palace, towards the rocks on the

sea-shore. I ordered him to set me down, and lifting up one of my

sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy look towards the sea. I found

myself not very well, and told the page that I had a mind to take a nap

in my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I got in, and the boy

shut the window close down, to keep out the cold. I soon fell asleep,

and all I can conjecture is, while I slept, the page, thinking no

danger could happen, went among the rocks to look for birds’ eggs,

having before observed him from my window searching about, and picking

up one or two in the clefts. Be that as it will, I found myself

suddenly awaked with a violent pull upon the ring, which was fastened

at the top of my box for the conveniency of carriage. I felt my box

raised very high in the air, and then borne forward with prodigious

speed. The first jolt had like to have shaken me out of my hammock, but

afterward the motion was easy enough. I called out several times, as

loud as I could raise my voice, but all to no purpose. I looked towards

my windows, and could see nothing but the clouds and sky. I heard a

noise just over my head, like the clapping of wings, and then began to

perceive the woful condition I was in; that some eagle had got the ring

of my box in his beak, with an intent to let it fall on a rock, like a

tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body, and devour it: for the

sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to discover his quarry at a

great distance, though better concealed than I could be within a

two-inch board.

In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to increase

very fast, and my box was tossed up and down, like a sign in a windy

day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought given to the eagle

(for such I am certain it must have been that held the ring of my box

in his beak), and then, all on a sudden, felt myself falling

perpendicularly down, for above a minute, but with such incredible

swiftness, that I almost lost my breath. My fall was stopped by a

terrible squash, that sounded louder to my ears than the cataract of

Niagara; after which, I was quite in the dark for another minute, and

then my box began to rise so high, that I could see light from the tops

of the windows. I now perceived I was fallen into the sea. My box, by

the weight of my body, the goods that were in, and the broad plates of

iron fixed for strength at the four corners of the top and bottom,

floated about five feet deep in water. I did then, and do now suppose,

that the eagle which flew away with my box was pursued by two or three

others, and forced to let me drop, while he defended himself against

the rest, who hoped to share in the prey. The plates of iron fastened

at the bottom of the box (for those were the strongest) preserved the

balance while it fell, and hindered it from being broken on the surface

of the water. Every joint of it was well grooved; and the door did not

move on hinges, but up and down like a sash, which kept my closet so

tight that very little water came in. I got with much difficulty out of

my hammock, having first ventured to draw back the slip-board on the

roof already mentioned, contrived on purpose to let in air, for want of

which I found myself almost stifled.

How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch, from whom

one single hour had so far divided me! And I may say with truth, that

in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not forbear lamenting my

poor nurse, the grief she would suffer for my loss, the displeasure of

the queen, and the ruin of her fortune. Perhaps many travellers have

not been under greater difficulties and distress than I was at this

juncture, expecting every moment to see my box dashed to pieces, or at

least overset by the first violent blast, or rising wave. A breach in

one single pane of glass would have been immediate death: nor could any

thing have preserved the windows, but the strong lattice wires placed

on the outside, against accidents in travelling. I saw the water ooze

in at several crannies, although the leaks were not considerable, and I

endeavoured to stop them as well as I could. I was not able to lift up

the roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly should have done,

and sat on the top of it; where I might at least preserve myself some

hours longer, than by being shut up (as I may call it) in the hold. Or

if I escaped these dangers for a day or two, what could I expect but a

miserable death of cold and hunger? I was four hours under these

circumstances, expecting, and indeed wishing, every moment to be my

last.

I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples fixed

upon that side of my box which had no window, and into which the

servant, who used to carry me on horseback, would put a leathern belt,

and buckle it about his waist. Being in this disconsolate state, I

heard, or at least thought I heard, some kind of grating noise on that

side of my box where the staples were fixed; and soon after I began to

fancy that the box was pulled or towed along the sea; for I now and

then felt a sort of tugging, which made the waves rise near the tops of

my windows, leaving me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint

hopes of relief, although I was not able to imagine how it could be

brought about. I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were

always fastened to the floor; and having made a hard shift to screw it

down again, directly under the slipping-board that I had lately opened,

I mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth as near as I could to the

hole, I called for help in a loud voice, and in all the languages I

understood. I then fastened my handkerchief to a stick I usually

carried, and thrusting it up the hole, waved it several times in the

air, that if any boat or ship were near, the seamen might conjecture

some unhappy mortal to be shut up in the box.

I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my closet

to be moved along; and in the space of an hour, or better, that side of

the box where the staples were, and had no windows, struck against

something that was hard. I apprehended it to be a rock, and found

myself tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a noise upon the cover of

my closet, like that of a cable, and the grating of it as it passed

through the ring. I then found myself hoisted up, by degrees, at least

three feet higher than I was before. Whereupon I again thrust up my

stick and handkerchief, calling for help till I was almost hoarse. In

return to which, I heard a great shout repeated three times, giving me

such transports of joy as are not to be conceived but by those who feel

them. I now heard a trampling over my head, and somebody calling

through the hole with a loud voice, in the English tongue, “If there be

any body below, let them speak.” I answered, “I was an Englishman,

drawn by ill fortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature

underwent, and begged, by all that was moving, to be delivered out of

the dungeon I was in.” The voice replied, “I was safe, for my box was

fastened to their ship; and the carpenter should immediately come and

saw a hole in the cover, large enough to pull me out.” I answered,

“that was needless, and would take up too much time; for there was no

more to be done, but let one of the crew put his finger into the ring,

and take the box out of the sea into the ship, and so into the

captain’s cabin.” Some of them, upon hearing me talk so wildly, thought

I was mad: others laughed; for indeed it never came into my head, that

I was now got among people of my own stature and strength. The

carpenter came, and in a few minutes sawed a passage about four feet

square, then let down a small ladder, upon which I mounted, and thence

was taken into the ship in a very weak condition.

The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand questions,

which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally confounded at the

sight of so many pigmies, for such I took them to be, after having so

long accustomed my eyes to the monstrous objects I had left. But the

captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an honest worthy Shropshire man,

observing I was ready to faint, took me into his cabin, gave me a

cordial to comfort me, and made me turn in upon his own bed, advising

me to take a little rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to

sleep, I gave him to understand that I had some valuable furniture in

my box, too good to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome field-bed, two

chairs, a table, and a cabinet; that my closet was hung on all sides,

or rather quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of

the crew bring my closet into his cabin, I would open it there before

him, and show him my goods. The captain, hearing me utter these

absurdities, concluded I was raving; however (I suppose to pacify me)

he promised to give order as I desired, and going upon deck, sent some

of his men down into my closet, whence (as I afterwards found) they

drew up all my goods, and stripped off the quilting; but the chairs,

cabinet, and bedstead, being screwed to the floor, were much damaged by

the ignorance of the seamen, who tore them up by force. Then they

knocked off some of the boards for the use of the ship, and when they

had got all they had a mind for, let the hull drop into the sea, which

by reason of many breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk to

rights. And, indeed, I was glad not to have been a spectator of the

havoc they made, because I am confident it would have sensibly touched

me, by bringing former passages into my mind, which I would rather have

forgot.

I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the place

I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon waking, I

found myself much recovered. It was now about eight o’clock at night,

and the captain ordered supper immediately, thinking I had already

fasted too long. He entertained me with great kindness, observing me

not to look wildly, or talk inconsistently: and, when we were left

alone, desired I would give him a relation of my travels, and by what

accident I came to be set adrift, in that monstrous wooden chest. He

said “that about twelve o’clock at noon, as he was looking through his

glass, he spied it at a distance, and thought it was a sail, which he

had a mind to make, being not much out of his course, in hopes of

buying some biscuit, his own beginning to fall short. That upon coming

nearer, and finding his error, he sent out his long-boat to discover

what it was; that his men came back in a fright, swearing they had seen

a swimming house. That he laughed at their folly, and went himself in

the boat, ordering his men to take a strong cable along with them. That

the weather being calm, he rowed round me several times, observed my

windows and wire lattices that defended them. That he discovered two

staples upon one side, which was all of boards, without any passage for

light. He then commanded his men to row up to that side, and fastening

a cable to one of the staples, ordered them to tow my chest, as they

called it, toward the ship. When it was there, he gave directions to

fasten another cable to the ring fixed in the cover, and to raise up my

chest with pulleys, which all the sailors were not able to do above two

or three feet.” He said, “they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust out

of the hole, and concluded that some unhappy man must be shut up in the

cavity.” I asked, “whether he or the crew had seen any prodigious birds

in the air, about the time he first discovered me.” To which he

answered, “that discoursing this matter with the sailors while I was

asleep, one of them said, he had observed three eagles flying towards

the north, but remarked nothing of their being larger than the usual

size:” which I suppose must be imputed to the great height they were

at; and he could not guess the reason of my question. I then asked the

captain, “how far he reckoned we might be from land?” He said, “by the

best computation he could make, we were at least a hundred leagues.” I

assured him, “that he must be mistaken by almost half, for I had not

left the country whence I came above two hours before I dropped into

the sea.” Whereupon he began again to think that my brain was

disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me to go to bed in a

cabin he had provided. I assured him, “I was well refreshed with his

good entertainment and company, and as much in my senses as ever I was

in my life.” He then grew serious, and desired to ask me freely,

“whether I were not troubled in my mind by the consciousness of some

enormous crime, for which I was punished, at the command of some

prince, by exposing me in that chest; as great criminals, in other

countries, have been forced to sea in a leaky vessel, without

provisions: for although he should be sorry to have taken so ill a man

into his ship, yet he would engage his word to set me safe ashore, in

the first port where we arrived.” He added, “that his suspicions were

much increased by some very absurd speeches I had delivered at first to

his sailors, and afterwards to himself, in relation to my closet or

chest, as well as by my odd looks and behaviour while I was at supper.”

I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully did,

from the last time I left England, to the moment he first discovered

me. And, as truth always forces its way into rational minds, so this

honest worthy gentleman, who had some tincture of learning, and very

good sense, was immediately convinced of my candour and veracity. But

further to confirm all I had said, I entreated him to give order that

my cabinet should be brought, of which I had the key in my pocket; for

he had already informed me how the seamen disposed of my closet. I

opened it in his own presence, and showed him the small collection of

rarities I made in the country from which I had been so strangely

delivered. There was the comb I had contrived out of the stumps of the

king’s beard, and another of the same materials, but fixed into a

paring of her majesty’s thumb-nail, which served for the back. There

was a collection of needles and pins, from a foot to half a yard long;

four wasp stings, like joiner’s tacks; some combings of the queen’s

hair; a gold ring, which one day she made me a present of, in a most

obliging manner, taking it from her little finger, and throwing it over

my head like a collar. I desired the captain would please to accept

this ring in return for his civilities; which he absolutely refused. I

showed him a corn that I had cut off with my own hand, from a maid of

honour’s toe; it was about the bigness of Kentish pippin, and grown so

hard, that when I returned to England, I got it hollowed into a cup,

and set in silver. Lastly, I desired him to see the breeches I had then

on, which were made of a mouse’s skin.

I could force nothing on him but a footman’s tooth, which I observed

him to examine with great curiosity, and found he had a fancy for it.

He received it with abundance of thanks, more than such a trifle could

deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful surgeon, in a mistake, from one

of Glumdalclitch’s men, who was afflicted with the tooth-ache, but it

was as sound as any in his head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my

cabinet. It was about a foot long, and four inches in diameter.

The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had

given him, and said, “he hoped, when we returned to England, I would

oblige the world by putting it on paper, and making it public.” My

answer was, “that we were overstocked with books of travels: that

nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary; wherein I doubted

some authors less consulted truth, than their own vanity, or interest,

or the diversion of ignorant readers; that my story could contain

little beside common events, without those ornamental descriptions of

strange plants, trees, birds, and other animals; or of the barbarous

customs and idolatry of savage people, with which most writers abound.

However, I thanked him for his good opinion, and promised to take the

matter into my thoughts.”

He said “he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to hear me

speak so loud;” asking me “whether the king or queen of that country

were thick of hearing?” I told him, “it was what I had been used to for

above two years past, and that I admired as much at the voices of him

and his men, who seemed to me only to whisper, and yet I could hear

them well enough. But, when I spoke in that country, it was like a man

talking in the streets, to another looking out from the top of a

steeple, unless when I was placed on a table, or held in any person’s

hand.” I told him, “I had likewise observed another thing, that, when I

first got into the ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I thought

they were the most little contemptible creatures I had ever beheld.”

For indeed, while I was in that prince’s country, I could never endure

to look in a glass, after my eyes had been accustomed to such

prodigious objects, because the comparison gave me so despicable a

conceit of myself. The captain said, “that while we were at supper, he

observed me to look at every thing with a sort of wonder, and that I

often seemed hardly able to contain my laughter, which he knew not well

how to take, but imputed it to some disorder in my brain.” I answered,

“it was very true; and I wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his

dishes of the size of a silver three-pence, a leg of pork hardly a

mouthful, a cup not so big as a nut-shell;” and so I went on,

describing the rest of his household-stuff and provisions, after the

same manner. For, although the queen had ordered a little equipage of

all things necessary for me, while I was in her service, yet my ideas

were wholly taken up with what I saw on every side of me, and I winked

at my own littleness, as people do at their own faults. The captain

understood my raillery very well, and merrily replied with the old

English proverb, “that he doubted my eyes were bigger than my belly,

for he did not observe my stomach so good, although I had fasted all

day;” and, continuing in his mirth, protested “he would have gladly

given a hundred pounds, to have seen my closet in the eagle’s bill, and

afterwards in its fall from so great a height into the sea; which would

certainly have been a most astonishing object, worthy to have the

description of it transmitted to future ages:” and the comparison of

Phaeton was so obvious, that he could not forbear applying it, although

I did not much admire the conceit.

The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to England,

driven north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees, and longitude of

143. But meeting a trade-wind two days after I came on board him, we

sailed southward a long time, and coasting New Holland, kept our course

west-south-west, and then south-south-west, till we doubled the Cape of

Good Hope. Our voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not trouble the

reader with a journal of it. The captain called in at one or two ports,

and sent in his long-boat for provisions and fresh water; but I never

went out of the ship till we came into the Downs, which was on the

third day of June, 1706, about nine months after my escape. I offered

to leave my goods in security for payment of my freight: but the

captain protested he would not receive one farthing. We took a kind

leave of each other, and I made him promise he would come to see me at

my house in Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five shillings,

which I borrowed of the captain.

As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the

trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in Lilliput.

I was afraid of trampling on every traveller I met, and often called

aloud to have them stand out of the way, so that I had like to have

gotten one or two broken heads for my impertinence.

When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire, one of

the servants opening the door, I bent down to go in, (like a goose

under a gate,) for fear of striking my head. My wife ran out to embrace

me, but I stooped lower than her knees, thinking she could otherwise

never be able to reach my mouth. My daughter kneeled to ask my

blessing, but I could not see her till she arose, having been so long

used to stand with my head and eyes erect to above sixty feet; and then

I went to take her up with one hand by the waist. I looked down upon

the servants, and one or two friends who were in the house, as if they

had been pigmies and I a giant. I told my wife, “she had been too

thrifty, for I found she had starved herself and her daughter to

nothing.” In short, I behaved myself so unaccountably, that they were

all of the captain’s opinion when he first saw me, and concluded I had

lost my wits. This I mention as an instance of the great power of habit

and prejudice.

In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right

understanding: but my wife protested “I should never go to sea any

more;” although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not power to

hinder me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the mean time, I here

conclude the second part of my unfortunate voyages.

PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, GLUBBDUBDRIB, LUGGNAGG AND

JAPAN.

CHAPTER I.

The author sets out on his third voyage. Is taken by pirates. The

malice of a Dutchman. His arrival at an island. He is received into

Laputa.

I had not been at home above ten days, when Captain William Robinson, a

Cornish man, commander of the Hopewell, a stout ship of three hundred

tons, came to my house. I had formerly been surgeon of another ship

where he was master, and a fourth part owner, in a voyage to the

Levant. He had always treated me more like a brother, than an inferior

officer; and, hearing of my arrival, made me a visit, as I apprehended

only out of friendship, for nothing passed more than what is usual

after long absences. But repeating his visits often, expressing his joy

to find me in good health, asking, “whether I were now settled for

life?” adding, “that he intended a voyage to the East Indies in two

months,” at last he plainly invited me, though with some apologies, to

be surgeon of the ship; “that I should have another surgeon under me,

beside our two mates; that my salary should be double to the usual pay;

and that having experienced my knowledge in sea-affairs to be at least

equal to his, he would enter into any engagement to follow my advice,

as much as if I had shared in the command.”

He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so honest a

man, that I could not reject this proposal; the thirst I had of seeing

the world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes, continuing as violent

as ever. The only difficulty that remained, was to persuade my wife,

whose consent however I at last obtained, by the prospect of advantage

she proposed to her children.

We set out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St. George

the 11th of April, 1707. We staid there three weeks to refresh our

crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we went to Tonquin, where the

captain resolved to continue some time, because many of the goods he

intended to buy were not ready, nor could he expect to be dispatched in

several months. Therefore, in hopes to defray some of the charges he

must be at, he bought a sloop, loaded it with several sorts of goods,

wherewith the Tonquinese usually trade to the neighbouring islands, and

putting fourteen men on board, whereof three were of the country, he

appointed me master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic, while

he transacted his affairs at Tonquin.

We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising, we were

driven five days to the north-north-east, and then to the east: after

which we had fair weather, but still with a pretty strong gale from the

west. Upon the tenth day we were chased by two pirates, who soon

overtook us; for my sloop was so deep laden, that she sailed very slow,

neither were we in a condition to defend ourselves.

We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who entered

furiously at the head of their men; but finding us all prostrate upon

our faces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us with strong ropes,

and setting guard upon us, went to search the sloop.

I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some authority,

though he was not commander of either ship. He knew us by our

countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in his own language,

swore we should be tied back to back and thrown into the sea. I spoke

Dutch tolerably well; I told him who we were, and begged him, in

consideration of our being Christians and Protestants, of neighbouring

countries in strict alliance, that he would move the captains to take

some pity on us. This inflamed his rage; he repeated his threatenings,

and turning to his companions, spoke with great vehemence in the

Japanese language, as I suppose, often using the word _Christianos_.

The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese

captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came up to

me, and after several questions, which I answered in great humility, he

said, “we should not die.” I made the captain a very low bow, and then,

turning to the Dutchman, said, “I was sorry to find more mercy in a

heathen, than in a brother christian.” But I had soon reason to repent

those foolish words: for that malicious reprobate, having often

endeavoured in vain to persuade both the captains that I might be

thrown into the sea (which they would not yield to, after the promise

made me that I should not die), however, prevailed so far, as to have a

punishment inflicted on me, worse, in all human appearance, than death

itself. My men were sent by an equal division into both the pirate

ships, and my sloop new manned. As to myself, it was determined that I

should be set adrift in a small canoe, with paddles and a sail, and

four days’ provisions; which last, the Japanese captain was so kind to

double out of his own stores, and would permit no man to search me. I

got down into the canoe, while the Dutchman, standing upon the deck,

loaded me with all the curses and injurious terms his language could

afford.

About an hour before we saw the pirates I had taken an observation, and

found we were in the latitude of 46 N. and longitude of 183. When I was

at some distance from the pirates, I discovered, by my pocket-glass,

several islands to the south-east. I set up my sail, the wind being

fair, with a design to reach the nearest of those islands, which I made

a shift to do, in about three hours. It was all rocky: however I got

many birds’ eggs; and, striking fire, I kindled some heath and dry

sea-weed, by which I roasted my eggs. I ate no other supper, being

resolved to spare my provisions as much as I could. I passed the night

under the shelter of a rock, strewing some heath under me, and slept

pretty well.

The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third and

fourth, sometimes using my sail, and sometimes my paddles. But, not to

trouble the reader with a particular account of my distresses, let it

suffice, that on the fifth day I arrived at the last island in my

sight, which lay south-south-east to the former.

This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did not

reach it in less than five hours. I encompassed it almost round, before

I could find a convenient place to land in; which was a small creek,

about three times the wideness of my canoe. I found the island to be

all rocky, only a little intermingled with tufts of grass, and

sweet-smelling herbs. I took out my small provisions and after having

refreshed myself, I secured the remainder in a cave, whereof there were

great numbers; I gathered plenty of eggs upon the rocks, and got a

quantity of dry sea-weed, and parched grass, which I designed to kindle

the next day, and roast my eggs as well as I could, for I had about me

my flint, steel, match, and burning-glass. I lay all night in the cave

where I had lodged my provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and

sea-weed which I intended for fuel. I slept very little, for the

disquiets of my mind prevailed over my weariness, and kept me awake. I

considered how impossible it was to preserve my life in so desolate a

place, and how miserable my end must be: yet found myself so listless

and desponding, that I had not the heart to rise; and before I could

get spirits enough to creep out of my cave, the day was far advanced. I

walked awhile among the rocks: the sky was perfectly clear, and the sun

so hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it: when all on a sudden

it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner very different from what

happens by the interposition of a cloud. I turned back, and perceived a

vast opaque body between me and the sun moving forwards towards the

island: it seemed to be about two miles high, and hid the sun six or

seven minutes; but I did not observe the air to be much colder, or the

sky more darkened, than if I had stood under the shade of a mountain.

As it approached nearer over the place where I was, it appeared to be a

firm substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright, from

the reflection of the sea below. I stood upon a height about two

hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body descending almost

to a parallel with me, at less than an English mile distance. I took

out my pocket perspective, and could plainly discover numbers of people

moving up and down the sides of it, which appeared to be sloping; but

what those people were doing I was not able to distinguish.

The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I was

ready to entertain a hope that this adventure might, some way or other,

help to deliver me from the desolate place and condition I was in. But

at the same time the reader can hardly conceive my astonishment, to

behold an island in the air, inhabited by men, who were able (as it

should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into progressive motion, as

they pleased. But not being at that time in a disposition to

philosophise upon this phenomenon, I rather chose to observe what

course the island would take, because it seemed for a while to stand

still. Yet soon after, it advanced nearer, and I could see the sides of

it encompassed with several gradations of galleries, and stairs, at

certain intervals, to descend from one to the other. In the lowest

gallery, I beheld some people fishing with long angling rods, and

others looking on. I waved my cap (for my hat was long since worn out)

and my handkerchief toward the island; and upon its nearer approach, I

called and shouted with the utmost strength of my voice; and then

looking circumspectly, I beheld a crowd gather to that side which was

most in my view. I found by their pointing towards me and to each

other, that they plainly discovered me, although they made no return to

my shouting. But I could see four or five men running in great haste,

up the stairs, to the top of the island, who then disappeared. I

happened rightly to conjecture, that these were sent for orders to some

person in authority upon this occasion.

The number of people increased, and, in less than half an hour, the

island was moved and raised in such a manner, that the lowest gallery

appeared in a parallel of less than a hundred yards distance from the

height where I stood. I then put myself in the most supplicating

posture, and spoke in the humblest accent, but received no answer.

Those who stood nearest over against me, seemed to be persons of

distinction, as I supposed by their habit. They conferred earnestly

with each other, looking often upon me. At length one of them called

out in a clear, polite, smooth dialect, not unlike in sound to the

Italian: and therefore I returned an answer in that language, hoping at

least that the cadence might be more agreeable to his ears. Although

neither of us understood the other, yet my meaning was easily known,

for the people saw the distress I was in.

They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go towards the

shore, which I accordingly did; and the flying island being raised to a

convenient height, the verge directly over me, a chain was let down

from the lowest gallery, with a seat fastened to the bottom, to which I

fixed myself, and was drawn up by pulleys.

CHAPTER II.

The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An account of

their learning. Of the king and his court. The author’s reception

there. The inhabitants subject to fear and disquietudes. An account of

the women.

At my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people, but those who

stood nearest seemed to be of better quality. They beheld me with all

the marks and circumstances of wonder; neither indeed was I much in

their debt, having never till then seen a race of mortals so singular

in their shapes, habits, and countenances. Their heads were all

reclined, either to the right, or the left; one of their eyes turned

inward, and the other directly up to the zenith. Their outward garments

were adorned with the figures of suns, moons, and stars; interwoven

with those of fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars, harpsichords,

and many other instruments of music, unknown to us in Europe. I

observed, here and there, many in the habit of servants, with a blown

bladder, fastened like a flail to the end of a stick, which they

carried in their hands. In each bladder was a small quantity of dried

peas, or little pebbles, as I was afterwards informed. With these

bladders, they now and then flapped the mouths and ears of those who

stood near them, of which practice I could not then conceive the

meaning. It seems the minds of these people are so taken up with

intense speculations, that they neither can speak, nor attend to the

discourses of others, without being roused by some external taction

upon the organs of speech and hearing; for which reason, those persons

who are able to afford it always keep a flapper (the original is

_climenole_) in their family, as one of their domestics; nor ever walk

abroad, or make visits, without him. And the business of this officer

is, when two, three, or more persons are in company, gently to strike

with his bladder the mouth of him who is to speak, and the right ear of

him or them to whom the speaker addresses himself. This flapper is

likewise employed diligently to attend his master in his walks, and

upon occasion to give him a soft flap on his eyes; because he is always

so wrapped up in cogitation, that he is in manifest danger of falling

down every precipice, and bouncing his head against every post; and in

the streets, of justling others, or being justled himself into the

kennel.

It was necessary to give the reader this information, without which he

would be at the same loss with me to understand the proceedings of

these people, as they conducted me up the stairs to the top of the

island, and from thence to the royal palace. While we were ascending,

they forgot several times what they were about, and left me to myself,

till their memories were again roused by their flappers; for they

appeared altogether unmoved by the sight of my foreign habit and

countenance, and by the shouts of the vulgar, whose thoughts and minds

were more disengaged.

At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber of

presence, where I saw the king seated on his throne, attended on each

side by persons of prime quality. Before the throne, was a large table

filled with globes and spheres, and mathematical instruments of all

kinds. His majesty took not the least notice of us, although our

entrance was not without sufficient noise, by the concourse of all

persons belonging to the court. But he was then deep in a problem; and

we attended at least an hour, before he could solve it. There stood by

him, on each side, a young page with flaps in their hands, and when

they saw he was at leisure, one of them gently struck his mouth, and

the other his right ear; at which he startled like one awaked on the

sudden, and looking towards me and the company I was in, recollected

the occasion of our coming, whereof he had been informed before. He

spoke some words, whereupon immediately a young man with a flap came up

to my side, and flapped me gently on the right ear; but I made signs,

as well as I could, that I had no occasion for such an instrument;

which, as I afterwards found, gave his majesty, and the whole court, a

very mean opinion of my understanding. The king, as far as I could

conjecture, asked me several questions, and I addressed myself to him

in all the languages I had. When it was found I could neither

understand nor be understood, I was conducted by his order to an

apartment in his palace (this prince being distinguished above all his

predecessors for his hospitality to strangers), where two servants were

appointed to attend me. My dinner was brought, and four persons of

quality, whom I remembered to have seen very near the king’s person,

did me the honour to dine with me. We had two courses, of three dishes

each. In the first course, there was a shoulder of mutton cut into an

equilateral triangle, a piece of beef into a rhomboides, and a pudding

into a cycloid. The second course was two ducks trussed up in the form

of fiddles; sausages and puddings resembling flutes and hautboys, and a

breast of veal in the shape of a harp. The servants cut our bread into

cones, cylinders, parallelograms, and several other mathematical

figures.

While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several things

in their language, and those noble persons, by the assistance of their

flappers, delighted to give me answers, hoping to raise my admiration

of their great abilities if I could be brought to converse with them. I

was soon able to call for bread and drink, or whatever else I wanted.

After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me by the

king’s order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him pen, ink, and

paper, and three or four books, giving me to understand by signs, that

he was sent to teach me the language. We sat together four hours, in

which time I wrote down a great number of words in columns, with the

translations over against them; I likewise made a shift to learn

several short sentences; for my tutor would order one of my servants to

fetch something, to turn about, to make a bow, to sit, or to stand, or

walk, and the like. Then I took down the sentence in writing. He showed

me also, in one of his books, the figures of the sun, moon, and stars,

the zodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with the

denominations of many planes and solids. He gave me the names and

descriptions of all the musical instruments, and the general terms of

art in playing on each of them. After he had left me, I placed all my

words, with their interpretations, in alphabetical order. And thus, in

a few days, by the help of a very faithful memory, I got some insight

into their language. The word, which I interpret the flying or floating

island, is in the original _Laputa_, whereof I could never learn the

true etymology. _Lap_, in the old obsolete language, signifies high;

and _untuh_, a governor; from which they say, by corruption, was

derived _Laputa_, from _Lapuntuh_. But I do not approve of this

derivation, which seems to be a little strained. I ventured to offer to

the learned among them a conjecture of my own, that Laputa was _quasi

lap outed_; _lap_, signifying properly, the dancing of the sunbeams in

the sea, and _outed_, a wing; which, however, I shall not obtrude, but

submit to the judicious reader.

Those to whom the king had entrusted me, observing how ill I was clad,

ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take measure for a suit of

clothes. This operator did his office after a different manner from

those of his trade in Europe. He first took my altitude by a quadrant,

and then, with a rule and compasses, described the dimensions and

outlines of my whole body, all which he entered upon paper; and in six

days brought my clothes very ill made, and quite out of shape, by

happening to mistake a figure in the calculation. But my comfort was,

that I observed such accidents very frequent, and little regarded.

During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an indisposition that

held me some days longer, I much enlarged my dictionary; and when I

went next to court, was able to understand many things the king spoke,

and to return him some kind of answers. His majesty had given orders,

that the island should move north-east and by east, to the vertical

point over Lagado, the metropolis of the whole kingdom below, upon the

firm earth. It was about ninety leagues distant, and our voyage lasted

four days and a half. I was not in the least sensible of the

progressive motion made in the air by the island. On the second

morning, about eleven o’clock, the king himself in person, attended by

his nobility, courtiers, and officers, having prepared all their

musical instruments, played on them for three hours without

intermission, so that I was quite stunned with the noise; neither could

I possibly guess the meaning, till my tutor informed me. He said that,

the people of their island had their ears adapted to hear “the music of

the spheres, which always played at certain periods, and the court was

now prepared to bear their part, in whatever instrument they most

excelled.”

In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty ordered

that the island should stop over certain towns and villages, from

whence he might receive the petitions of his subjects. And to this

purpose, several packthreads were let down, with small weights at the

bottom. On these packthreads the people strung their petitions, which

mounted up directly, like the scraps of paper fastened by schoolboys at

the end of the string that holds their kite. Sometimes we received wine

and victuals from below, which were drawn up by pulleys.

The knowledge I had in mathematics gave me great assistance in

acquiring their phraseology, which depended much upon that science, and

music; and in the latter I was not unskilled. Their ideas are

perpetually conversant in lines and figures. If they would, for

example, praise the beauty of a woman, or any other animal, they

describe it by rhombs, circles, parallelograms, ellipses, and other

geometrical terms, or by words of art drawn from music, needless here

to repeat. I observed in the king’s kitchen all sorts of mathematical

and musical instruments, after the figures of which they cut up the

joints that were served to his majesty’s table.

Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevel, without one right

angle in any apartment; and this defect arises from the contempt they

bear to practical geometry, which they despise as vulgar and mechanic;

those instructions they give being too refined for the intellects of

their workmen, which occasions perpetual mistakes. And although they

are dexterous enough upon a piece of paper, in the management of the

rule, the pencil, and the divider, yet in the common actions and

behaviour of life, I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward, and unhandy

people, nor so slow and perplexed in their conceptions upon all other

subjects, except those of mathematics and music. They are very bad

reasoners, and vehemently given to opposition, unless when they happen

to be of the right opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination,

fancy, and invention, they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words

in their language, by which those ideas can be expressed; the whole

compass of their thoughts and mind being shut up within the two

forementioned sciences.

Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical part,

have great faith in judicial astrology, although they are ashamed to

own it publicly. But what I chiefly admired, and thought altogether

unaccountable, was the strong disposition I observed in them towards

news and politics, perpetually inquiring into public affairs, giving

their judgments in matters of state, and passionately disputing every

inch of a party opinion. I have indeed observed the same disposition

among most of the mathematicians I have known in Europe, although I

could never discover the least analogy between the two sciences; unless

those people suppose, that because the smallest circle has as many

degrees as the largest, therefore the regulation and management of the

world require no more abilities than the handling and turning of a

globe; but I rather take this quality to spring from a very common

infirmity of human nature, inclining us to be most curious and

conceited in matters where we have least concern, and for which we are

least adapted by study or nature.

These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoying a

minute’s peace of mind; and their disturbances proceed from causes

which very little affect the rest of mortals. Their apprehensions arise

from several changes they dread in the celestial bodies: for instance,

that the earth, by the continual approaches of the sun towards it,

must, in course of time, be absorbed, or swallowed up; that the face of

the sun, will, by degrees, be encrusted with its own effluvia, and give

no more light to the world; that the earth very narrowly escaped a

brush from the tail of the last comet, which would have infallibly

reduced it to ashes; and that the next, which they have calculated for

one-and-thirty years hence, will probably destroy us. For if, in its

perihelion, it should approach within a certain degree of the sun (as

by their calculations they have reason to dread) it will receive a

degree of heat ten thousand times more intense than that of red hot

glowing iron, and in its absence from the sun, carry a blazing tail ten

hundred thousand and fourteen miles long, through which, if the earth

should pass at the distance of one hundred thousand miles from the

nucleus, or main body of the comet, it must in its passage be set on

fire, and reduced to ashes: that the sun, daily spending its rays

without any nutriment to supply them, will at last be wholly consumed

and annihilated; which must be attended with the destruction of this

earth, and of all the planets that receive their light from it.

They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of these, and

the like impending dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly in

their beds, nor have any relish for the common pleasures and amusements

of life. When they meet an acquaintance in the morning, the first

question is about the sun’s health, how he looked at his setting and

rising, and what hopes they have to avoid the stroke of the approaching

comet. This conversation they are apt to run into with the same temper

that boys discover in delighting to hear terrible stories of spirits

and hobgoblins, which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to bed

for fear.

The women of the island have abundance of vivacity: they contemn their

husbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers, whereof there is

always a considerable number from the continent below, attending at

court, either upon affairs of the several towns and corporations, or

their own particular occasions, but are much despised, because they

want the same endowments. Among these the ladies choose their gallants:

but the vexation is, that they act with too much ease and security; for

the husband is always so rapt in speculation, that the mistress and

lover may proceed to the greatest familiarities before his face, if he

be but provided with paper and implements, and without his flapper at

his side.

The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island,

although I think it the most delicious spot of ground in the world; and

although they live here in the greatest plenty and magnificence, and

are allowed to do whatever they please, they long to see the world, and

take the diversions of the metropolis, which they are not allowed to do

without a particular license from the king; and this is not easy to be

obtained, because the people of quality have found, by frequent

experience, how hard it is to persuade their women to return from

below. I was told that a great court lady, who had several children,—is

married to the prime minister, the richest subject in the kingdom, a

very graceful person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest

palace of the island,—went down to Lagado on the pretence of health,

there hid herself for several months, till the king sent a warrant to

search for her; and she was found in an obscure eating-house all in

rags, having pawned her clothes to maintain an old deformed footman,

who beat her every day, and in whose company she was taken, much

against her will. And although her husband received her with all

possible kindness, and without the least reproach, she soon after

contrived to steal down again, with all her jewels, to the same

gallant, and has not been heard of since.

This may perhaps pass with the reader rather for an European or English

story, than for one of a country so remote. But he may please to

consider, that the caprices of womankind are not limited by any climate

or nation, and that they are much more uniform, than can be easily

imagined.

In about a month’s time, I had made a tolerable proficiency in their

language, and was able to answer most of the king’s questions, when I

had the honour to attend him. His majesty discovered not the least

curiosity to inquire into the laws, government, history, religion, or

manners of the countries where I had been; but confined his questions

to the state of mathematics, and received the account I gave him with

great contempt and indifference, though often roused by his flapper on

each side.

CHAPTER III.

A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. The Laputians’

great improvements in the latter. The king’s method of suppressing

insurrections.

I desired leave of this prince to see the curiosities of the island,

which he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my tutor to

attend me. I chiefly wanted to know, to what cause, in art or in

nature, it owed its several motions, whereof I will now give a

philosophical account to the reader.

The flying or floating island is exactly circular, its diameter 7837

yards, or about four miles and a half, and consequently contains ten

thousand acres. It is three hundred yards thick. The bottom, or under

surface, which appears to those who view it below, is one even regular

plate of adamant, shooting up to the height of about two hundred yards.

Above it lie the several minerals in their usual order, and over all is

a coat of rich mould, ten or twelve feet deep. The declivity of the

upper surface, from the circumference to the centre, is the natural

cause why all the dews and rains, which fall upon the island, are

conveyed in small rivulets toward the middle, where they are emptied

into four large basins, each of about half a mile in circuit, and two

hundred yards distant from the centre. From these basins the water is

continually exhaled by the sun in the daytime, which effectually

prevents their overflowing. Besides, as it is in the power of the

monarch to raise the island above the region of clouds and vapours, he

can prevent the falling of dews and rain whenever he pleases. For the

highest clouds cannot rise above two miles, as naturalists agree, at

least they were never known to do so in that country.

At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards in

diameter, whence the astronomers descend into a large dome, which is

therefore called _flandona gagnole_, or the astronomer’s cave, situated

at the depth of a hundred yards beneath the upper surface of the

adamant. In this cave are twenty lamps continually burning, which, from

the reflection of the adamant, cast a strong light into every part. The

place is stored with great variety of sextants, quadrants, telescopes,

astrolabes, and other astronomical instruments. But the greatest

curiosity, upon which the fate of the island depends, is a loadstone of

a prodigious size, in shape resembling a weaver’s shuttle. It is in

length six yards, and in the thickest part at least three yards over.

This magnet is sustained by a very strong axle of adamant passing

through its middle, upon which it plays, and is poised so exactly that

the weakest hand can turn it. It is hooped round with a hollow cylinder

of adamant, four feet deep, as many thick, and twelve yards in

diameter, placed horizontally, and supported by eight adamantine feet,

each six yards high. In the middle of the concave side, there is a

groove twelve inches deep, in which the extremities of the axle are

lodged, and turned round as there is occasion.

The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force, because the

hoop and its feet are one continued piece with that body of adamant

which constitutes the bottom of the island.

By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall, and

move from one place to another. For, with respect to that part of the

earth over which the monarch presides, the stone is endued at one of

its sides with an attractive power, and at the other with a repulsive.

Upon placing the magnet erect, with its attracting end towards the

earth, the island descends; but when the repelling extremity points

downwards, the island mounts directly upwards. When the position of the

stone is oblique, the motion of the island is so too. For in this

magnet, the forces always act in lines parallel to its direction.

By this oblique motion, the island is conveyed to different parts of

the monarch’s dominions. To explain the manner of its progress, let _A_

_B_ represent a line drawn across the dominions of Balnibarbi, let the

line _c_ _d_ represent the loadstone, of which let _d_ be the repelling

end, and _c_ the attracting end, the island being over _C_; let the

stone be placed in the position _c_ _d_, with its repelling end

downwards; then the island will be driven upwards obliquely towards

_D_. When it is arrived at _D_, let the stone be turned upon its axle,

till its attracting end points towards _E_, and then the island will be

carried obliquely towards _E_; where, if the stone be again turned upon

its axle till it stands in the position _E_ _F_, with its repelling

point downwards, the island will rise obliquely towards _F_, where, by

directing the attracting end towards _G_, the island may be carried to

_G_, and from _G_ to _H_, by turning the stone, so as to make its

repelling extremity to point directly downward. And thus, by changing

the situation of the stone, as often as there is occasion, the island

is made to rise and fall by turns in an oblique direction, and by those

alternate risings and fallings (the obliquity being not considerable)

is conveyed from one part of the dominions to the other.

But it must be observed, that this island cannot move beyond the extent

of the dominions below, nor can it rise above the height of four miles.

For which the astronomers (who have written large systems concerning

the stone) assign the following reason: that the magnetic virtue does

not extend beyond the distance of four miles, and that the mineral,

which acts upon the stone in the bowels of the earth, and in the sea

about six leagues distant from the shore, is not diffused through the

whole globe, but terminated with the limits of the king’s dominions;

and it was easy, from the great advantage of such a superior situation,

for a prince to bring under his obedience whatever country lay within

the attraction of that magnet.

When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon, the island

stands still; for in that case the extremities of it, being at equal

distance from the earth, act with equal force, the one in drawing

downwards, the other in pushing upwards, and consequently no motion can

ensue.

This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who, from time

to time, give it such positions as the monarch directs. They spend the

greatest part of their lives in observing the celestial bodies, which

they do by the assistance of glasses, far excelling ours in goodness.

For, although their largest telescopes do not exceed three feet, they

magnify much more than those of a hundred with us, and show the stars

with greater clearness. This advantage has enabled them to extend their

discoveries much further than our astronomers in Europe; for they have

made a catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the largest of

ours do not contain above one third part of that number. They have

likewise discovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve

about Mars; whereof the innermost is distant from the centre of the

primary planet exactly three of his diameters, and the outermost, five;

the former revolves in the space of ten hours, and the latter in

twenty-one and a half; so that the squares of their periodical times

are very near in the same proportion with the cubes of their distance

from the centre of Mars; which evidently shows them to be governed by

the same law of gravitation that influences the other heavenly bodies.

They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled their

periods with great exactness. If this be true (and they affirm it with

great confidence) it is much to be wished, that their observations were

made public, whereby the theory of comets, which at present is very

lame and defective, might be brought to the same perfection with other

arts of astronomy.

The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe, if he could

but prevail on a ministry to join with him; but these having their

estates below on the continent, and considering that the office of a

favourite has a very uncertain tenure, would never consent to the

enslaving of their country.

If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into violent

factions, or refuse to pay the usual tribute, the king has two methods

of reducing them to obedience. The first and the mildest course is, by

keeping the island hovering over such a town, and the lands about it,

whereby he can deprive them of the benefit of the sun and the rain, and

consequently afflict the inhabitants with dearth and diseases. And if

the crime deserve it, they are at the same time pelted from above with

great stones, against which they have no defence but by creeping into

cellars or caves, while the roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces.

But if they still continue obstinate, or offer to raise insurrections,

he proceeds to the last remedy, by letting the island drop directly

upon their heads, which makes a universal destruction both of houses

and men. However, this is an extremity to which the prince is seldom

driven, neither indeed is he willing to put it in execution; nor dare

his ministers advise him to an action, which, as it would render them

odious to the people, so it would be a great damage to their own

estates, which all lie below; for the island is the king’s demesne.

But there is still indeed a more weighty reason, why the kings of this

country have been always averse from executing so terrible an action,

unless upon the utmost necessity. For, if the town intended to be

destroyed should have in it any tall rocks, as it generally falls out

in the larger cities, a situation probably chosen at first with a view

to prevent such a catastrophe; or if it abound in high spires, or

pillars of stone, a sudden fall might endanger the bottom or under

surface of the island, which, although it consist, as I have said, of

one entire adamant, two hundred yards thick, might happen to crack by

too great a shock, or burst by approaching too near the fires from the

houses below, as the backs, both of iron and stone, will often do in

our chimneys. Of all this the people are well apprised, and understand

how far to carry their obstinacy, where their liberty or property is

concerned. And the king, when he is highest provoked, and most

determined to press a city to rubbish, orders the island to descend

with great gentleness, out of a pretence of tenderness to his people,

but, indeed, for fear of breaking the adamantine bottom; in which case,

it is the opinion of all their philosophers, that the loadstone could

no longer hold it up, and the whole mass would fall to the ground.

About three years before my arrival among them, while the king was in

his progress over his dominions, there happened an extraordinary

accident which had like to have put a period to the fate of that

monarchy, at least as it is now instituted. Lindalino, the second city

in the kingdom, was the first his majesty visited in his progress.

Three days after his departure the inhabitants, who had often

complained of great oppressions, shut the town gates, seized on the

governor, and with incredible speed and labour erected four large

towers, one at every corner of the city (which is an exact square),

equal in height to a strong pointed rock that stands directly in the

centre of the city. Upon the top of each tower, as well as upon the

rock, they fixed a great loadstone, and in case their design should

fail, they had provided a vast quantity of the most combustible fuel,

hoping to burst therewith the adamantine bottom of the island, if the

loadstone project should miscarry.

It was eight months before the king had perfect notice that the

Lindalinians were in rebellion. He then commanded that the island

should be wafted over the city. The people were unanimous, and had laid

in store of provisions, and a great river runs through the middle of

the town. The king hovered over them several days to deprive them of

the sun and the rain. He ordered many packthreads to be let down, yet

not a person offered to send up a petition, but instead thereof very

bold demands, the redress of all their grievances, great immunities,

the choice of their own governor, and other the like exorbitances. Upon

which his majesty commanded all the inhabitants of the island to cast

great stones from the lower gallery into the town; but the citizens had

provided against this mischief by conveying their persons and effects

into the four towers, and other strong buildings, and vaults

underground.

The king being now determined to reduce this proud people, ordered that

the island should descend gently within forty yards of the top of the

towers and rock. This was accordingly done; but the officers employed

in that work found the descent much speedier than usual, and by turning

the loadstone could not without great difficulty keep it in a firm

position, but found the island inclining to fall. They sent the king

immediate intelligence of this astonishing event, and begged his

majesty’s permission to raise the island higher; the king consented, a

general council was called, and the officers of the loadstone ordered

to attend. One of the oldest and expertest among them obtained leave to

try an experiment, he took a strong line of an hundred yards, and the

island being raised over the town above the attracting power they had

felt, he fastened a piece of adamant to the end of his line, which had

in it a mixture of iron mineral, of the same nature with that whereof

the bottom or lower surface of the island is composed, and from the

lower gallery let it down slowly towards the top of the towers. The

adamant was not descended four yards, before the officer felt it drawn

so strongly downwards that he could hardly pull it back, he then threw

down several small pieces of adamant, and observed that they were all

violently attracted by the top of the tower. The same experiment was

made on the other three towers, and on the rock with the same effect.

This incident broke entirely the king’s measures, and (to dwell no

longer on other circumstances) he was forced to give the town their own

conditions.

I was assured by a great minister that if the island had descended so

near the town as not to be able to raise itself, the citizens were

determined to fix it for ever, to kill the king and all his servants,

and entirely change the government.

By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king, nor either of his

two eldest sons, are permitted to leave the island; nor the queen, till

she is past child-bearing.

CHAPTER IV.

The author leaves Laputa; is conveyed to Balnibarbi; arrives at the

metropolis. A description of the metropolis, and the country adjoining.

The author hospitably received by a great lord. His conversation with

that lord.

Although I cannot say that I was ill treated in this island, yet I must

confess I thought myself too much neglected, not without some degree of

contempt; for neither prince nor people appeared to be curious in any

part of knowledge, except mathematics and music, wherein I was far

their inferior, and upon that account very little regarded.

On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of the island,

I was very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of those people.

They were indeed excellent in two sciences for which I have great

esteem, and wherein I am not unversed; but, at the same time, so

abstracted and involved in speculation, that I never met with such

disagreeable companions. I conversed only with women, tradesmen,

flappers, and court-pages, during two months of my abode there; by

which, at last, I rendered myself extremely contemptible; yet these

were the only people from whom I could ever receive a reasonable

answer.

I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge in their

language; I was weary of being confined to an island where I received

so little countenance, and resolved to leave it with the first

opportunity.

There was a great lord at court, nearly related to the king, and for

that reason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned the

most ignorant and stupid person among them. He had performed many

eminent services for the crown, had great natural and acquired parts,

adorned with integrity and honour; but so ill an ear for music, that

his detractors reported, “he had been often known to beat time in the

wrong place;” neither could his tutors, without extreme difficulty,

teach him to demonstrate the most easy proposition in the mathematics.

He was pleased to show me many marks of favour, often did me the honour

of a visit, desired to be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws

and customs, the manners and learning of the several countries where I

had travelled. He listened to me with great attention, and made very

wise observations on all I spoke. He had two flappers attending him for

state, but never made use of them, except at court and in visits of

ceremony, and would always command them to withdraw, when we were alone

together.

I entreated this illustrious person, to intercede in my behalf with his

majesty, for leave to depart; which he accordingly did, as he was

pleased to tell me, with regret: for indeed he had made me several

offers very advantageous, which, however, I refused, with expressions

of the highest acknowledgment.

On the 16th day of February I took leave of his majesty and the court.

The king made me a present to the value of about two hundred pounds

English, and my protector, his kinsman, as much more, together with a

letter of recommendation to a friend of his in Lagado, the metropolis.

The island being then hovering over a mountain about two miles from it,

I was let down from the lowest gallery, in the same manner as I had

been taken up.

The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the flying

island, passes under the general name of _Balnibarbi_; and the

metropolis, as I said before, is called _Lagado_. I felt some little

satisfaction in finding myself on firm ground. I walked to the city

without any concern, being clad like one of the natives, and

sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon found out the

person’s house to whom I was recommended, presented my letter from his

friend the grandee in the island, and was received with much kindness.

This great lord, whose name was Munodi, ordered me an apartment in his

own house, where I continued during my stay, and was entertained in a

most hospitable manner.

The next morning after my arrival, he took me in his chariot to see the

town, which is about half the bigness of London; but the houses very

strangely built, and most of them out of repair. The people in the

streets walked fast, looked wild, their eyes fixed, and were generally

in rags. We passed through one of the town gates, and went about three

miles into the country, where I saw many labourers working with several

sorts of tools in the ground, but was not able to conjecture what they

were about; neither did I observe any expectation either of corn or

grass, although the soil appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear

admiring at these odd appearances, both in town and country; and I made

bold to desire my conductor, that he would be pleased to explain to me,

what could be meant by so many busy heads, hands, and faces, both in

the streets and the fields, because I did not discover any good effects

they produced; but, on the contrary, I never knew a soil so unhappily

cultivated, houses so ill contrived and so ruinous, or a people whose

countenances and habit expressed so much misery and want.

This lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been some

years governor of Lagado; but, by a cabal of ministers, was discharged

for insufficiency. However, the king treated him with tenderness, as a

well-meaning man, but of a low contemptible understanding.

When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants, he

made no further answer than by telling me, “that I had not been long

enough among them to form a judgment; and that the different nations of

the world had different customs;” with other common topics to the same

purpose. But, when we returned to his palace, he asked me “how I liked

the building, what absurdities I observed, and what quarrel I had with

the dress or looks of his domestics?” This he might safely do; because

every thing about him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I answered,

“that his excellency’s prudence, quality, and fortune, had exempted him

from those defects, which folly and beggary had produced in others.” He

said, “if I would go with him to his country-house, about twenty miles

distant, where his estate lay, there would be more leisure for this

kind of conversation.” I told his excellency “that I was entirely at

his disposal;” and accordingly we set out next morning.

During our journey he made me observe the several methods used by

farmers in managing their lands, which to me were wholly unaccountable;

for, except in some very few places, I could not discover one ear of

corn or blade of grass. But, in three hours travelling, the scene was

wholly altered; we came into a most beautiful country; farmers’ houses,

at small distances, neatly built; the fields enclosed, containing

vineyards, corn-grounds, and meadows. Neither do I remember to have

seen a more delightful prospect. His excellency observed my countenance

to clear up; he told me, with a sigh, “that there his estate began, and

would continue the same, till we should come to his house: that his

countrymen ridiculed and despised him, for managing his affairs no

better, and for setting so ill an example to the kingdom; which,

however, was followed by very few, such as were old, and wilful, and

weak like himself.”

We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble structure,

built according to the best rules of ancient architecture. The

fountains, gardens, walks, avenues, and groves, were all disposed with

exact judgment and taste. I gave due praises to every thing I saw,

whereof his excellency took not the least notice till after supper;

when, there being no third companion, he told me with a very melancholy

air “that he doubted he must throw down his houses in town and country,

to rebuild them after the present mode; destroy all his plantations,

and cast others into such a form as modern usage required, and give the

same directions to all his tenants, unless he would submit to incur the

censure of pride, singularity, affectation, ignorance, caprice, and

perhaps increase his majesty’s displeasure; that the admiration I

appeared to be under would cease or diminish, when he had informed me

of some particulars which, probably, I never heard of at court, the

people there being too much taken up in their own speculations, to have

regard to what passed here below.”

The sum of his discourse was to this effect: “That about forty years

ago, certain persons went up to Laputa, either upon business or

diversion, and, after five months continuance, came back with a very

little smattering in mathematics, but full of volatile spirits acquired

in that airy region: that these persons, upon their return, began to

dislike the management of every thing below, and fell into schemes of

putting all arts, sciences, languages, and mechanics, upon a new foot.

To this end, they procured a royal patent for erecting an academy of

projectors in Lagado; and the humour prevailed so strongly among the

people, that there is not a town of any consequence in the kingdom

without such an academy. In these colleges the professors contrive new

rules and methods of agriculture and building, and new instruments, and

tools for all trades and manufactures; whereby, as they undertake, one

man shall do the work of ten; a palace may be built in a week, of

materials so durable as to last for ever without repairing. All the

fruits of the earth shall come to maturity at whatever season we think

fit to choose, and increase a hundred fold more than they do at

present; with innumerable other happy proposals. The only inconvenience

is, that none of these projects are yet brought to perfection; and in

the mean time, the whole country lies miserably waste, the houses in

ruins, and the people without food or clothes. By all which, instead of

being discouraged, they are fifty times more violently bent upon

prosecuting their schemes, driven equally on by hope and despair: that

as for himself, being not of an enterprising spirit, he was content to

go on in the old forms, to live in the houses his ancestors had built,

and act as they did, in every part of life, without innovation: that

some few other persons of quality and gentry had done the same, but

were looked on with an eye of contempt and ill-will, as enemies to art,

ignorant, and ill common-wealth’s men, preferring their own ease and

sloth before the general improvement of their country.”

His lordship added, “That he would not, by any further particulars,

prevent the pleasure I should certainly take in viewing the grand

academy, whither he was resolved I should go.” He only desired me to

observe a ruined building, upon the side of a mountain about three

miles distant, of which he gave me this account: “That he had a very

convenient mill within half a mile of his house, turned by a current

from a large river, and sufficient for his own family, as well as a

great number of his tenants; that about seven years ago, a club of

those projectors came to him with proposals to destroy this mill, and

build another on the side of that mountain, on the long ridge whereof a

long canal must be cut, for a repository of water, to be conveyed up by

pipes and engines to supply the mill, because the wind and air upon a

height agitated the water, and thereby made it fitter for motion, and

because the water, descending down a declivity, would turn the mill

with half the current of a river whose course is more upon a level.” He

said, “that being then not very well with the court, and pressed by

many of his friends, he complied with the proposal; and after employing

a hundred men for two years, the work miscarried, the projectors went

off, laying the blame entirely upon him, railing at him ever since, and

putting others upon the same experiment, with equal assurance of

success, as well as equal disappointment.”

In a few days we came back to town; and his excellency, considering the

bad character he had in the academy, would not go with me himself, but

recommended me to a friend of his, to bear me company thither. My lord

was pleased to represent me as a great admirer of projects, and a

person of much curiosity and easy belief; which, indeed, was not

without truth; for I had myself been a sort of projector in my younger

days.

CHAPTER V.

The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The academy

largely described. The arts wherein the professors employ themselves.

This academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation of

several houses on both sides of a street, which growing waste, was

purchased and applied to that use.

I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days to the

academy. Every room has in it one or more projectors; and I believe I

could not be in fewer than five hundred rooms.

The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and face,

his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places. His

clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same colour. He had been

eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers,

which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm

the air in raw inclement summers. He told me, he did not doubt, that,

in eight years more, he should be able to supply the governor’s gardens

with sunshine, at a reasonable rate; but he complained that his stock

was low, and entreated me “to give him something as an encouragement to

ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear season for

cucumbers.” I made him a small present, for my lord had furnished me

with money on purpose, because he knew their practice of begging from

all who go to see them.

I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being almost

overcome with a horrible stink. My conductor pressed me forward,

conjuring me in a whisper “to give no offence, which would be highly

resented;” and therefore I durst not so much as stop my nose. The

projector of this cell was the most ancient student of the academy; his

face and beard were of a pale yellow; his hands and clothes daubed over

with filth. When I was presented to him, he gave me a close embrace, a

compliment I could well have excused. His employment, from his first

coming into the academy, was an operation to reduce human excrement to

its original food, by separating the several parts, removing the

tincture which it receives from the gall, making the odour exhale, and

scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from the society,

of a vessel filled with human ordure, about the bigness of a Bristol

barrel.

I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder; who likewise

showed me a treatise he had written concerning the malleability of

fire, which he intended to publish.

There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new method

for building houses, by beginning at the roof, and working downward to

the foundation; which he justified to me, by the like practice of those

two prudent insects, the bee and the spider.

There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his own

condition: their employment was to mix colours for painters, which

their master taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. It was

indeed my misfortune to find them at that time not very perfect in

their lessons, and the professor himself happened to be generally

mistaken. This artist is much encouraged and esteemed by the whole

fraternity.

In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who had

found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the charges

of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an acre of

ground you bury, at six inches distance and eight deep, a quantity of

acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or vegetables, whereof these

animals are fondest; then you drive six hundred or more of them into

the field, where, in a few days, they will root up the whole ground in

search of their food, and make it fit for sowing, at the same time

manuring it with their dung: it is true, upon experiment, they found

the charge and trouble very great, and they had little or no crop.

However it is not doubted, that this invention may be capable of great

improvement.

I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all hung

round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist to go in and

out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, “not to disturb his webs.”

He lamented “the fatal mistake the world had been so long in, of using

silkworms, while we had such plenty of domestic insects who infinitely

excelled the former, because they understood how to weave, as well as

spin.” And he proposed further, “that by employing spiders, the charge

of dyeing silks should be wholly saved;” whereof I was fully convinced,

when he showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully coloured,

wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us “that the webs would take a

tincture from them; and as he had them of all hues, he hoped to fit

everybody’s fancy, as soon as he could find proper food for the flies,

of certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, to give a strength

and consistence to the threads.”

There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial upon

the great weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the annual and

diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer and coincide with

all accidental turnings of the wind.

I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my conductor

led me into a room where a great physician resided, who was famous for

curing that disease, by contrary operations from the same instrument.

He had a large pair of bellows, with a long slender muzzle of ivory.

This he conveyed eight inches up the anus, and drawing in the wind, he

affirmed he could make the guts as lank as a dried bladder. But when

the disease was more stubborn and violent, he let in the muzzle while

the bellows were full of wind, which he discharged into the body of the

patient; then withdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his

thumb strongly against the orifice of the fundament; and this being

repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would rush out,

bringing the noxious along with it, (like water put into a pump), and

the patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments upon a dog, but

could not discern any effect from the former. After the latter the

animal was ready to burst, and made so violent a discharge as was very

offensive to me and my companions. The dog died on the spot, and we

left the doctor endeavouring to recover him, by the same operation.

I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader with

all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity.

I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being

appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I shall

say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person more, who

is called among them “the universal artist.” He told us “he had been

thirty years employing his thoughts for the improvement of human life.”

He had two large rooms full of wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at

work. Some were condensing air into a dry tangible substance, by

extracting the nitre, and letting the aqueous or fluid particles

percolate; others softening marble, for pillows and pin-cushions;

others petrifying the hoofs of a living horse, to preserve them from

foundering. The artist himself was at that time busy upon two great

designs; the first, to sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the

true seminal virtue to be contained, as he demonstrated by several

experiments, which I was not skilful enough to comprehend. The other

was, by a certain composition of gums, minerals, and vegetables,

outwardly applied, to prevent the growth of wool upon two young lambs;

and he hoped, in a reasonable time to propagate the breed of naked

sheep, all over the kingdom.

We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I have

already said, the projectors in speculative learning resided.

The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty pupils

about him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly upon a

frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length and breadth

of the room, he said, “Perhaps I might wonder to see him employed in a

project for improving speculative knowledge, by practical and

mechanical operations. But the world would soon be sensible of its

usefulness; and he flattered himself, that a more noble, exalted

thought never sprang in any other man’s head. Every one knew how

laborious the usual method is of attaining to arts and sciences;

whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant person, at a reasonable

charge, and with a little bodily labour, might write books in

philosophy, poetry, politics, laws, mathematics, and theology, without

the least assistance from genius or study.” He then led me to the

frame, about the sides, whereof all his pupils stood in ranks. It was

twenty feet square, placed in the middle of the room. The superficies

was composed of several bits of wood, about the bigness of a die, but

some larger than others. They were all linked together by slender

wires. These bits of wood were covered, on every square, with paper

pasted on them; and on these papers were written all the words of their

language, in their several moods, tenses, and declensions; but without

any order. The professor then desired me “to observe; for he was going

to set his engine at work.” The pupils, at his command, took each of

them hold of an iron handle, whereof there were forty fixed round the

edges of the frame; and giving them a sudden turn, the whole

disposition of the words was entirely changed. He then commanded

six-and-thirty of the lads, to read the several lines softly, as they

appeared upon the frame; and where they found three or four words

together that might make part of a sentence, they dictated to the four

remaining boys, who were scribes. This work was repeated three or four

times, and at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the words

shifted into new places, as the square bits of wood moved upside down.

The frame

Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour; and

the professor showed me several volumes in large folio, already

collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece together,

and out of those rich materials, to give the world a complete body of

all arts and sciences; which, however, might be still improved, and

much expedited, if the public would raise a fund for making and

employing five hundred such frames in Lagado, and oblige the managers

to contribute in common their several collections.

He assured me “that this invention had employed all his thoughts from

his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his frame, and

made the strictest computation of the general proportion there is in

books between the numbers of particles, nouns, and verbs, and other

parts of speech.”

I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, for his

great communicativeness; and promised, “if ever I had the good fortune

to return to my native country, that I would do him justice, as the

sole inventor of this wonderful machine;” the form and contrivance of

which I desired leave to delineate on paper, as in the figure here

annexed. I told him, “although it were the custom of our learned in

Europe to steal inventions from each other, who had thereby at least

this advantage, that it became a controversy which was the right owner;

yet I would take such caution, that he should have the honour entire,

without a rival.”

We next went to the school of languages, where three professors sat in

consultation upon improving that of their own country.

The first project was to shorten discourse by cutting polysyllables

into one, and leaving out verbs and participles, because, in reality,

all things imaginable are but nouns.

The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words

whatsoever; and this was urged as a great advantage in point of health,

as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we speak is, in

some degree, a diminution of our lungs by corrosion, and, consequently,

contributes to the shortening of our lives. An expedient was therefore

offered, “that since words are only names for _things_, it would be

more convenient for all men to carry about them such things as were

necessary to express a particular business they are to discourse on.”

And this invention would certainly have taken place, to the great ease

as well as health of the subject, if the women, in conjunction with the

vulgar and illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless

they might be allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after

the manner of their forefathers; such constant irreconcilable enemies

to science are the common people. However, many of the most learned and

wise adhere to the new scheme of expressing themselves by things; which

has only this inconvenience attending it, that if a man’s business be

very great, and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion, to

carry a greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he can afford

one or two strong servants to attend him. I have often beheld two of

those sages almost sinking under the weight of their packs, like

pedlars among us, who, when they met in the street, would lay down

their loads, open their sacks, and hold conversation for an hour

together; then put up their implements, help each other to resume their

burdens, and take their leave.

But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his pockets,

and under his arms, enough to supply him; and in his house, he cannot

be at a loss. Therefore the room where company meet who practise this

art, is full of all things, ready at hand, requisite to furnish matter

for this kind of artificial converse.

Another great advantage proposed by this invention was, that it would

serve as a universal language, to be understood in all civilised

nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the same kind, or

nearly resembling, so that their uses might easily be comprehended. And

thus ambassadors would be qualified to treat with foreign princes, or

ministers of state, to whose tongues they were utter strangers.

I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his pupils

after a method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The proposition, and

demonstration, were fairly written on a thin wafer, with ink composed

of a cephalic tincture. This, the student was to swallow upon a fasting

stomach, and for three days following, eat nothing but bread and water.

As the wafer digested, the tincture mounted to his brain, bearing the

proposition along with it. But the success has not hitherto been

answerable, partly by some error in the _quantum_ or composition, and

partly by the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus is so nauseous,

that they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards, before it

can operate; neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long an

abstinence, as the prescription requires.

CHAPTER VI.

A further account of the academy. The author proposes some

improvements, which are honourably received.

In the school of political projectors, I was but ill entertained; the

professors appearing, in my judgment, wholly out of their senses, which

is a scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These unhappy people

were proposing schemes for persuading monarchs to choose favourites

upon the score of their wisdom, capacity, and virtue; of teaching

ministers to consult the public good; of rewarding merit, great

abilities, eminent services; of instructing princes to know their true

interest, by placing it on the same foundation with that of their

people; of choosing for employments persons qualified to exercise them,

with many other wild, impossible chimeras, that never entered before

into the heart of man to conceive; and confirmed in me the old

observation, “that there is nothing so extravagant and irrational,

which some philosophers have not maintained for truth.”

But, however, I shall so far do justice to this part of the Academy, as

to acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There was a most

ingenious doctor, who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole nature

and system of government. This illustrious person had very usefully

employed his studies, in finding out effectual remedies for all

diseases and corruptions to which the several kinds of public

administration are subject, by the vices or infirmities of those who

govern, as well as by the licentiousness of those who are to obey. For

instance: whereas all writers and reasoners have agreed, that there is

a strict universal resemblance between the natural and the political

body; can there be any thing more evident, than that the health of both

must be preserved, and the diseases cured, by the same prescriptions?

It is allowed, that senates and great councils are often troubled with

redundant, ebullient, and other peccant humours; with many diseases of

the head, and more of the heart; with strong convulsions, with grievous

contractions of the nerves and sinews in both hands, but especially the

right; with spleen, flatus, vertigos, and deliriums; with scrofulous

tumours, full of fetid purulent matter; with sour frothy ructations:

with canine appetites, and crudeness of digestion, besides many others,

needless to mention. This doctor therefore proposed, “that upon the

meeting of the senate, certain physicians should attend it the three

first days of their sitting, and at the close of each day’s debate feel

the pulses of every senator; after which, having maturely considered

and consulted upon the nature of the several maladies, and the methods

of cure, they should on the fourth day return to the senate house,

attended by their apothecaries stored with proper medicines; and before

the members sat, administer to each of them lenitives, aperitives,

abstersives, corrosives, restringents, palliatives, laxatives,

cephalalgics, icterics, apophlegmatics, acoustics, as their several

cases required; and, according as these medicines should operate,

repeat, alter, or omit them, at the next meeting.”

This project could not be of any great expense to the public; and might

in my poor opinion, be of much use for the despatch of business, in

those countries where senates have any share in the legislative power;

beget unanimity, shorten debates, open a few mouths which are now

closed, and close many more which are now open; curb the petulancy of

the young, and correct the positiveness of the old; rouse the stupid,

and damp the pert.

Again, because it is a general complaint, that the favourites of

princes are troubled with short and weak memories; the same doctor

proposed, “that whoever attended a first minister, after having told

his business, with the utmost brevity and in the plainest words,

should, at his departure, give the said minister a tweak by the nose,

or a kick in the belly, or tread on his corns, or lug him thrice by

both ears, or run a pin into his breech; or pinch his arm black and

blue, to prevent forgetfulness; and at every levee day, repeat the same

operation, till the business were done, or absolutely refused.”

He likewise directed, “that every senator in the great council of a

nation, after he had delivered his opinion, and argued in the defence

of it, should be obliged to give his vote directly contrary; because if

that were done, the result would infallibly terminate in the good of

the public.”

When parties in a state are violent, he offered a wonderful contrivance

to reconcile them. The method is this: You take a hundred leaders of

each party; you dispose them into couples of such whose heads are

nearest of a size; then let two nice operators saw off the occiput of

each couple at the same time, in such a manner that the brain may be

equally divided. Let the occiputs, thus cut off, be interchanged,

applying each to the head of his opposite party-man. It seems indeed to

be a work that requires some exactness, but the professor assured us,

“that if it were dexterously performed, the cure would be infallible.”

For he argued thus: “that the two half brains being left to debate the

matter between themselves within the space of one skull, would soon

come to a good understanding, and produce that moderation, as well as

regularity of thinking, so much to be wished for in the heads of those,

who imagine they come into the world only to watch and govern its

motion: and as to the difference of brains, in quantity or quality,

among those who are directors in faction,” the doctor assured us, from

his own knowledge, that “it was a perfect trifle.”

I heard a very warm debate between two professors, about the most

commodious and effectual ways and means of raising money, without

grieving the subject. The first affirmed, “the justest method would be,

to lay a certain tax upon vices and folly; and the sum fixed upon every

man to be rated, after the fairest manner, by a jury of his

neighbours.” The second was of an opinion directly contrary; “to tax

those qualities of body and mind, for which men chiefly value

themselves; the rate to be more or less, according to the degrees of

excelling; the decision whereof should be left entirely to their own

breast.” The highest tax was upon men who are the greatest favourites

of the other sex, and the assessments, according to the number and

nature of the favours they have received; for which, they are allowed

to be their own vouchers. Wit, valour, and politeness, were likewise

proposed to be largely taxed, and collected in the same manner, by

every person’s giving his own word for the quantum of what he

possessed. But as to honour, justice, wisdom, and learning, they should

not be taxed at all; because they are qualifications of so singular a

kind, that no man will either allow them in his neighbour or value them

in himself.

The women were proposed to be taxed according to their beauty and skill

in dressing, wherein they had the same privilege with the men, to be

determined by their own judgment. But constancy, chastity, good sense,

and good nature, were not rated, because they would not bear the charge

of collecting.

To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was proposed that the

members should raffle for employments; every man first taking an oath,

and giving security, that he would vote for the court, whether he won

or not; after which, the losers had, in their turn, the liberty of

raffling upon the next vacancy. Thus, hope and expectation would be

kept alive; none would complain of broken promises, but impute their

disappointments wholly to fortune, whose shoulders are broader and

stronger than those of a ministry.

Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions for

discovering plots and conspiracies against the government. He advised

great statesmen to examine into the diet of all suspected persons;

their times of eating; upon which side they lay in bed; with which hand

they wipe their posteriors; take a strict view of their excrements,

and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the

crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts

and designs; because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent,

as when they are at stool, which he found by frequent experiment; for,

in such conjunctures, when he used, merely as a trial, to consider

which was the best way of murdering the king, his ordure would have a

tincture of green; but quite different, when he thought only of raising

an insurrection, or burning the metropolis.

The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing many

observations, both curious and useful for politicians; but, as I

conceived, not altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the author,

and offered, if he pleased, to supply him with some additions. He

received my proposition with more compliance than is usual among

writers, especially those of the projecting species, professing “he

would be glad to receive further information.”

I told him, “that in the kingdom of Tribnia, [454a] by the natives

called Langden, [454b] where I had sojourned some time in my travels,

the bulk of the people consist in a manner wholly of discoverers,

witnesses, informers, accusers, prosecutors, evidences, swearers,

together with their several subservient and subaltern instruments, all

under the colours, the conduct, and the pay of ministers of state, and

their deputies. The plots, in that kingdom, are usually the workmanship

of those persons who desire to raise their own characters of profound

politicians; to restore new vigour to a crazy administration; to stifle

or divert general discontents; to fill their coffers with forfeitures;

and raise, or sink the opinion of public credit, as either shall best

answer their private advantage. It is first agreed and settled among

them, what suspected persons shall be accused of a plot; then,

effectual care is taken to secure all their letters and papers, and put

the owners in chains. These papers are delivered to a set of artists,

very dexterous in finding out the mysterious meanings of words,

syllables, and letters: for instance, they can discover a close stool,

to signify a privy council; a flock of geese, a senate; a lame dog, an

invader; a codshead; a ——; the plague, a standing army; a buzzard, a

prime minister; the gout, a high priest; a gibbet, a secretary of

state; a chamber pot, a committee of grandees; a sieve, a court lady; a

broom, a revolution; a mouse-trap, an employment; a bottomless pit, a

treasury; a sink, a court; a cap and bells, a favourite; a broken reed,

a court of justice; an empty tun, a general; a running sore, the

administration. [455]

“When this method fails, they have two others more effectual, which the

learned among them call acrostics and anagrams. First, they can

decipher all initial letters into political meanings. Thus _N_. shall

signify a plot; _B_. a regiment of horse; _L_. a fleet at sea; or,

secondly, by transposing the letters of the alphabet in any suspected

paper, they can lay open the deepest designs of a discontented party.

So, for example, if I should say, in a letter to a friend, ‘Our brother

Tom has just got the piles,’ a skilful decipherer would discover, that

the same letters which compose that sentence, may be analysed into the

following words, ‘Resist, a plot is brought home; The tour.’ And this

is the anagrammatic method.”

The professor made me great acknowledgments for communicating these

observations, and promised to make honourable mention of me in his

treatise.

I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a longer

continuance, and began to think of returning home to England.

CHAPTER VII.

The author leaves Lagado: arrives at Maldonada. No ship ready. He takes

a short voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His reception by the governor.

The continent, of which this kingdom is a part, extends itself, as I

have reason to believe, eastward, to that unknown tract of America

westward of California; and north, to the Pacific Ocean, which is not

above a hundred and fifty miles from Lagado; where there is a good

port, and much commerce with the great island of Luggnagg, situated to

the north-west about 29 degrees north latitude, and 140 longitude. This

island of Luggnagg stands south-eastward of Japan, about a hundred

leagues distant. There is a strict alliance between the Japanese

emperor and the king of Luggnagg; which affords frequent opportunities

of sailing from one island to the other. I determined therefore to

direct my course this way, in order to direct my return to Europe. I

hired two mules, with a guide, to show me the way, and carry my small

baggage. I took leave of my noble protector, who had shown me so much

favour, and made me a generous present at my departure.

My journey was without any accident or adventure worth relating. When I

arrived at the port of Maldonada (for so it is called) there was no

ship in the harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor likely to be in some time.

The town is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell into some

acquaintance, and was very hospitably received. A gentleman of

distinction said to me, “that since the ships bound for Luggnagg could

not be ready in less than a month, it might be no disagreeable

amusement for me to take a trip to the little island of Glubbdubdrib,

about five leagues off to the south-west.” He offered himself and a

friend to accompany me, and that I should be provided with a small

convenient bark for the voyage.

Glubbdubdrib, as nearly as I can interpret the word, signifies the

island of sorcerers or magicians. It is about one third as large as the

Isle of Wight, and extremely fruitful: it is governed by the head of a

certain tribe, who are all magicians. This tribe marries only among

each other, and the eldest in succession is prince or governor. He has

a noble palace, and a park of about three thousand acres, surrounded by

a wall of hewn stone twenty feet high. In this park are several small

enclosures for cattle, corn, and gardening.

The governor and his family are served and attended by domestics of a

kind somewhat unusual. By his skill in necromancy he has a power of

calling whom he pleases from the dead, and commanding their service for

twenty-four hours, but no longer; nor can he call the same persons up

again in less than three months, except upon very extraordinary

occasions.

When we arrived at the island, which was about eleven in the morning,

one of the gentlemen who accompanied me went to the governor, and

desired admittance for a stranger, who came on purpose to have the

honour of attending on his highness. This was immediately granted, and

we all three entered the gate of the palace between two rows of guards,

armed and dressed after a very antic manner, and with something in

their countenances that made my flesh creep with a horror I cannot

express. We passed through several apartments, between servants of the

same sort, ranked on each side as before, till we came to the chamber

of presence; where, after three profound obeisances, and a few general

questions, we were permitted to sit on three stools, near the lowest

step of his highness’s throne. He understood the language of

Balnibarbi, although it was different from that of this island. He

desired me to give him some account of my travels; and, to let me see

that I should be treated without ceremony, he dismissed all his

attendants with a turn of his finger; at which, to my great

astonishment, they vanished in an instant, like visions in a dream when

we awake on a sudden. I could not recover myself in some time, till the

governor assured me, “that I should receive no hurt;” and observing my

two companions to be under no concern, who had been often entertained

in the same manner, I began to take courage, and related to his

highness a short history of my several adventures; yet not without some

hesitation, and frequently looking behind me to the place where I had

seen those domestic spectres. I had the honour to dine with the

governor, where a new set of ghosts served up the meat, and waited at

table. I now observed myself to be less terrified than I had been in

the morning. I stayed till sunset, but humbly desired his highness to

excuse me for not accepting his invitation of lodging in the palace. My

two friends and I lay at a private house in the town adjoining, which

is the capital of this little island; and the next morning we returned

to pay our duty to the governor, as he was pleased to command us.

After this manner we continued in the island for ten days, most part of

every day with the governor, and at night in our lodging. I soon grew

so familiarized to the sight of spirits, that after the third or fourth

time they gave me no emotion at all: or, if I had any apprehensions

left, my curiosity prevailed over them. For his highness the governor

ordered me “to call up whatever persons I would choose to name, and in

whatever numbers, among all the dead from the beginning of the world to

the present time, and command them to answer any questions I should

think fit to ask; with this condition, that my questions must be

confined within the compass of the times they lived in. And one thing I

might depend upon, that they would certainly tell me the truth, for

lying was a talent of no use in the lower world.”

I made my humble acknowledgments to his highness for so great a favour.

We were in a chamber, from whence there was a fair prospect into the

park. And because my first inclination was to be entertained with

scenes of pomp and magnificence, I desired to see Alexander the Great

at the head of his army, just after the battle of Arbela: which, upon a

motion of the governor’s finger, immediately appeared in a large field,

under the window where we stood. Alexander was called up into the room:

it was with great difficulty that I understood his Greek, and had but

little of my own. He assured me upon his honour “that he was not

poisoned, but died of a bad fever by excessive drinking.”

Next, I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me “he had not a drop

of vinegar in his camp.”

I saw Cæsar and Pompey at the head of their troops, just ready to

engage. I saw the former, in his last great triumph. I desired that the

senate of Rome might appear before me, in one large chamber, and an

assembly of somewhat a later age in counterview, in another. The first

seemed to be an assembly of heroes and demigods; the other, a knot of

pedlars, pick-pockets, highwaymen, and bullies.

The governor, at my request, gave the sign for Cæsar and Brutus to

advance towards us. I was struck with a profound veneration at the

sight of Brutus, and could easily discover the most consummate virtue,

the greatest intrepidity and firmness of mind, the truest love of his

country, and general benevolence for mankind, in every lineament of his

countenance. I observed, with much pleasure, that these two persons

were in good intelligence with each other; and Cæsar freely confessed

to me, “that the greatest actions of his own life were not equal, by

many degrees, to the glory of taking it away.” I had the honour to have

much conversation with Brutus; and was told, “that his ancestor Junius,

Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato the younger, Sir Thomas More, and himself

were perpetually together:” a sextumvirate, to which all the ages of

the world cannot add a seventh.

It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what vast

numbers of illustrious persons were called up to gratify that

insatiable desire I had to see the world in every period of antiquity

placed before me. I chiefly fed my eyes with beholding the destroyers

of tyrants and usurpers, and the restorers of liberty to oppressed and

injured nations. But it is impossible to express the satisfaction I

received in my own mind, after such a manner as to make it a suitable

entertainment to the reader.

CHAPTER VIII.

A further account of Glubbdubdrib. Ancient and modern history

corrected.

Having a desire to see those ancients who were most renowned for wit

and learning, I set apart one day on purpose. I proposed that Homer and

Aristotle might appear at the head of all their commentators; but these

were so numerous, that some hundreds were forced to attend in the

court, and outward rooms of the palace. I knew, and could distinguish

those two heroes, at first sight, not only from the crowd, but from

each other. Homer was the taller and comelier person of the two, walked

very erect for one of his age, and his eyes were the most quick and

piercing I ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a

staff. His visage was meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice

hollow. I soon discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to

the rest of the company, and had never seen or heard of them before;

and I had a whisper from a ghost who shall be nameless, “that these

commentators always kept in the most distant quarters from their

principals, in the lower world, through a consciousness of shame and

guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the meaning of those

authors to posterity.” I introduced Didymus and Eustathius to Homer,

and prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps they deserved,

for he soon found they wanted a genius to enter into the spirit of a

poet. But Aristotle was out of all patience with the account I gave him

of Scotus and Ramus, as I presented them to him; and he asked them,

“whether the rest of the tribe were as great dunces as themselves?”

I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with

whom I prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This great

philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in natural philosophy,

because he proceeded in many things upon conjecture, as all men must

do; and he found that Gassendi, who had made the doctrine of Epicurus

as palatable as he could, and the _vortices_ of Descartes, were equally

to be exploded. He predicted the same fate to _attraction_, whereof the

present learned are such zealous asserters. He said, “that new systems

of nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every age; and

even those, who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical

principles, would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of

vogue when that was determined.”

I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient

learned. I saw most of the first Roman emperors. I prevailed on the

governor to call up Heliogabalus’s cooks to dress us a dinner, but they

could not show us much of their skill, for want of materials. A helot

of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth, but I was not able to get

down a second spoonful.

The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed by

their private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in

seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest figure, for

two or three hundred years past, in our own and other countries of

Europe; and having been always a great admirer of old illustrious

families, I desired the governor would call up a dozen or two of kings,

with their ancestors in order for eight or nine generations. But my

disappointment was grievous and unexpected. For, instead of a long

train with royal diadems, I saw in one family two fiddlers, three

spruce courtiers, and an Italian prelate. In another, a barber, an

abbot, and two cardinals. I have too great a veneration for crowned

heads, to dwell any longer on so nice a subject. But as to counts,

marquises, dukes, earls, and the like, I was not so scrupulous. And I

confess, it was not without some pleasure, that I found myself able to

trace the particular features, by which certain families are

distinguished, up to their originals. I could plainly discover whence

one family derives a long chin; why a second has abounded with knaves

for two generations, and fools for two more; why a third happened to be

crack-brained, and a fourth to be sharpers; whence it came, what

Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, _Nec vir fortis_, _nec

femina casta_; how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice, grew to be

characteristics by which certain families are distinguished as much as

by their coats of arms; who first brought the pox into a noble house,

which has lineally descended scrofulous tumours to their posterity.

Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an interruption of

lineages, by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen, gamesters, fiddlers,

players, captains, and pickpockets.

I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly

examined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes, for

a hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled by

prostitute writers, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war, to

cowards; the wisest counsel, to fools; sincerity, to flatterers; Roman

virtue, to betrayers of their country; piety, to atheists; chastity, to

sodomites; truth, to informers: how many innocent and excellent persons

had been condemned to death or banishment by the practising of great

ministers upon the corruption of judges, and the malice of factions:

how many villains had been exalted to the highest places of trust,

power, dignity, and profit: how great a share in the motions and events

of courts, councils, and senates might be challenged by bawds, whores,

pimps, parasites, and buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human

wisdom and integrity, when I was truly informed of the springs and

motives of great enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the

contemptible accidents to which they owed their success.

Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to

write anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to their

graves with a cup of poison; will repeat the discourse between a prince

and chief minister, where no witness was by; unlock the thoughts and

cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries of state; and have the

perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the true causes

of many great events that have surprised the world; how a whore can

govern the back-stairs, the back-stairs a council, and the council a

senate. A general confessed, in my presence, “that he got a victory

purely by the force of cowardice and ill conduct;” and an admiral,

“that, for want of proper intelligence, he beat the enemy, to whom he

intended to betray the fleet.” Three kings protested to me, “that in

their whole reigns they never did once prefer any person of merit,

unless by mistake, or treachery of some minister in whom they confided;

neither would they do it if they were to live again:” and they showed,

with great strength of reason, “that the royal throne could not be

supported without corruption, because that positive, confident, restiff

temper, which virtue infused into a man, was a perpetual clog to public

business.”

I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what methods

great numbers had procured to themselves high titles of honour, and

prodigious estates; and I confined my inquiry to a very modern period:

however, without grating upon present times, because I would be sure to

give no offence even to foreigners (for I hope the reader need not be

told, that I do not in the least intend my own country, in what I say

upon this occasion,) a great number of persons concerned were called

up; and, upon a very slight examination, discovered such a scene of

infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some seriousness.

Perjury, oppression, subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like

infirmities, were among the most excusable arts they had to mention;

and for these I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when

some confessed they owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy, or

incest; others, to the prostituting of their own wives and daughters;

others, to the betraying of their country or their prince; some, to

poisoning; more to the perverting of justice, in order to destroy the

innocent, I hope I may be pardoned, if these discoveries inclined me a

little to abate of that profound veneration, which I am naturally apt

to pay to persons of high rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost

respect due to their sublime dignity, by us their inferiors.

I had often read of some great services done to princes and states, and

desired to see the persons by whom those services were performed. Upon

inquiry I was told, “that their names were to be found on no record,

except a few of them, whom history has represented as the vilest of

rogues and traitors.” As to the rest, I had never once heard of them.

They all appeared with dejected looks, and in the meanest habit; most

of them telling me, “they died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on

a scaffold or a gibbet.”

Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a little

singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his side.

He told me, “he had for many years been commander of a ship; and in the

sea fight at Actium had the good fortune to break through the enemy’s

great line of battle, sink three of their capital ships, and take a

fourth, which was the sole cause of Antony’s flight, and of the victory

that ensued; that the youth standing by him, his only son, was killed

in the action.” He added, “that upon the confidence of some merit, the

war being at an end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the court of

Augustus to be preferred to a greater ship, whose commander had been

killed; but, without any regard to his pretensions, it was given to a

boy who had never seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one

of the emperor’s mistresses. Returning back to his own vessel, he was

charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite page of

Publicola, the vice-admiral; whereupon he retired to a poor farm at a

great distance from Rome, and there ended his life.” I was so curious

to know the truth of this story, that I desired Agrippa might be

called, who was admiral in that fight. He appeared, and confirmed the

whole account: but with much more advantage to the captain, whose

modesty had extenuated or concealed a great part of his merit.

I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in that

empire, by the force of luxury so lately introduced; which made me less

wonder at many parallel cases in other countries, where vices of all

kinds have reigned so much longer, and where the whole praise, as well

as pillage, has been engrossed by the chief commander, who perhaps had

the least title to either.

As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he had done

in the world, it gave me melancholy reflections to observe how much the

race of humankind was degenerated among us within these hundred years

past; how the pox, under all its consequences and denominations had

altered every lineament of an English countenance; shortened the size

of bodies, unbraced the nerves, relaxed the sinews and muscles,

introduced a sallow complexion, and rendered the flesh loose and

rancid.

I descended so low, as to desire some English yeoman of the old stamp

might be summoned to appear; once so famous for the simplicity of their

manners, diet, and dress; for justice in their dealings; for their true

spirit of liberty; for their valour, and love of their country. Neither

could I be wholly unmoved, after comparing the living with the dead,

when I considered how all these pure native virtues were prostituted

for a piece of money by their grand-children; who, in selling their

votes and managing at elections, have acquired every vice and

corruption that can possibly be learned in a court.

CHAPTER IX.

The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of Luggnagg. The

author confined. He is sent for to court. The manner of his admittance.

The king’s great lenity to his subjects.

The day of our departure being come, I took leave of his highness, the

Governor of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my two companions to

Maldonada, where, after a fortnight’s waiting, a ship was ready to sail

for Luggnagg. The two gentlemen, and some others, were so generous and

kind as to furnish me with provisions, and see me on board. I was a

month in this voyage. We had one violent storm, and were under a

necessity of steering westward to get into the trade wind, which holds

for above sixty leagues. On the 21st of April, 1708, we sailed into the

river of Clumegnig, which is a seaport town, at the south-east point of

Luggnagg. We cast anchor within a league of the town, and made a signal

for a pilot. Two of them came on board in less than half an hour, by

whom we were guided between certain shoals and rocks, which are very

dangerous in the passage, to a large basin, where a fleet may ride in

safety within a cable’s length of the town-wall.

Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadvertence, had

informed the pilots “that I was a stranger, and great traveller;”

whereof these gave notice to a custom-house officer, by whom I was

examined very strictly upon my landing. This officer spoke to me in the

language of Balnibarbi, which, by the force of much commerce, is

generally understood in that town, especially by seamen and those

employed in the customs. I gave him a short account of some

particulars, and made my story as plausible and consistent as I could;

but I thought it necessary to disguise my country, and call myself a

Hollander; because my intentions were for Japan, and I knew the Dutch

were the only Europeans permitted to enter into that kingdom. I

therefore told the officer, “that having been shipwrecked on the coast

of Balnibarbi, and cast on a rock, I was received up into Laputa, or

the flying island (of which he had often heard), and was now

endeavouring to get to Japan, whence I might find a convenience of

returning to my own country.” The officer said, “I must be confined

till he could receive orders from court, for which he would write

immediately, and hoped to receive an answer in a fortnight.” I was

carried to a convenient lodging with a sentry placed at the door;

however, I had the liberty of a large garden, and was treated with

humanity enough, being maintained all the time at the king’s charge. I

was invited by several persons, chiefly out of curiosity, because it

was reported that I came from countries very remote, of which they had

never heard.

I hired a young man, who came in the same ship, to be an interpreter;

he was a native of Luggnagg, but had lived some years at Maldonada, and

was a perfect master of both languages. By his assistance, I was able

to hold a conversation with those who came to visit me; but this

consisted only of their questions, and my answers.

The despatch came from court about the time we expected. It contained a

warrant for conducting me and my retinue to _Traldragdubh_, or

_Trildrogdrib_ (for it is pronounced both ways as near as I can

remember), by a party of ten horse. All my retinue was that poor lad

for an interpreter, whom I persuaded into my service, and, at my humble

request, we had each of us a mule to ride on. A messenger was

despatched half a day’s journey before us, to give the king notice of

my approach, and to desire, “that his majesty would please to appoint a

day and hour, when it would by his gracious pleasure that I might have

the honour to lick the dust before his footstool.” This is the court

style, and I found it to be more than matter of form: for, upon my

admittance two days after my arrival, I was commanded to crawl upon my

belly, and lick the floor as I advanced; but, on account of my being a

stranger, care was taken to have it made so clean, that the dust was

not offensive. However, this was a peculiar grace, not allowed to any

but persons of the highest rank, when they desire an admittance. Nay,

sometimes the floor is strewed with dust on purpose, when the person to

be admitted happens to have powerful enemies at court; and I have seen

a great lord with his mouth so crammed, that when he had crept to the

proper distance from the throne; he was not able to speak a word.

Neither is there any remedy; because it is capital for those who

receive an audience to spit or wipe their mouths in his majesty’s

presence. There is indeed another custom, which I cannot altogether

approve of: when the king has a mind to put any of his nobles to death

in a gentle indulgent manner, he commands the floor to be strewed with

a certain brown powder of a deadly composition, which being licked up,

infallibly kills him in twenty-four hours. But in justice to this

prince’s great clemency, and the care he has of his subjects’ lives

(wherein it were much to be wished that the Monarchs of Europe would

imitate him), it must be mentioned for his honour, that strict orders

are given to have the infected parts of the floor well washed after

every such execution, which, if his domestics neglect, they are in

danger of incurring his royal displeasure. I myself heard him give

directions, that one of his pages should be whipped, whose turn it was

to give notice about washing the floor after an execution, but

maliciously had omitted it; by which neglect a young lord of great

hopes, coming to an audience, was unfortunately poisoned, although the

king at that time had no design against his life. But this good prince

was so gracious as to forgive the poor page his whipping, upon promise

that he would do so no more, without special orders.

To return from this digression. When I had crept within four yards of

the throne, I raised myself gently upon my knees, and then striking my

forehead seven times against the ground, I pronounced the following

words, as they had been taught me the night before, _Ickpling

gloffthrobb squutserumm blhiop mlashnalt zwin tnodbalkguffh slhiophad

gurdlubh asht_. This is the compliment, established by the laws of the

land, for all persons admitted to the king’s presence. It may be

rendered into English thus: “May your celestial majesty outlive the

sun, eleven moons and a half!” To this the king returned some answer,

which, although I could not understand, yet I replied as I had been

directed: _Fluft drin yalerick dwuldom prastrad mirpush_, which

properly signifies, “My tongue is in the mouth of my friend;” and by

this expression was meant, that I desired leave to bring my

interpreter; whereupon the young man already mentioned was accordingly

introduced, by whose intervention I answered as many questions as his

majesty could put in above an hour. I spoke in the Balnibarbian tongue,

and my interpreter delivered my meaning in that of Luggnagg.

The king was much delighted with my company, and ordered his

_bliffmarklub_, or high-chamberlain, to appoint a lodging in the court

for me and my interpreter; with a daily allowance for my table, and a

large purse of gold for my common expenses.

I staid three months in this country, out of perfect obedience to his

majesty; who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very

honourable offers. But I thought it more consistent with prudence and

justice to pass the remainder of my days with my wife and family.

CHAPTER X.

The Luggnaggians commended. A particular description of the

Struldbrugs, with many conversations between the author and some

eminent persons upon that subject.

The Luggnaggians are a polite and generous people; and although they

are not without some share of that pride which is peculiar to all

Eastern countries, yet they show themselves courteous to strangers,

especially such who are countenanced by the court. I had many

acquaintance, and among persons of the best fashion; and being always

attended by my interpreter, the conversation we had was not

disagreeable.

One day, in much good company, I was asked by a person of quality,

“whether I had seen any of their _struldbrugs_, or immortals?” I said,

“I had not;” and desired he would explain to me “what he meant by such

an appellation, applied to a mortal creature.” He told me “that

sometimes, though very rarely, a child happened to be born in a family,

with a red circular spot in the forehead, directly over the left

eyebrow, which was an infallible mark that it should never die.” The

spot, as he described it, “was about the compass of a silver

threepence, but in the course of time grew larger, and changed its

colour; for at twelve years old it became green, so continued till five

and twenty, then turned to a deep blue: at five and forty it grew coal

black, and as large as an English shilling; but never admitted any

further alteration.” He said, “these births were so rare, that he did

not believe there could be above eleven hundred struldbrugs, of both

sexes, in the whole kingdom; of which he computed about fifty in the

metropolis, and, among the rest, a young girl born about three years

ago: that these productions were not peculiar to any family, but a mere

effect of chance; and the children of the _struldbrugs_ themselves were

equally mortal with the rest of the people.”

I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible delight,

upon hearing this account: and the person who gave it me happening to

understand the Balnibarbian language, which I spoke very well, I could

not forbear breaking out into expressions, perhaps a little too

extravagant. I cried out, as in a rapture, “Happy nation, where every

child hath at least a chance for being immortal! Happy people, who

enjoy so many living examples of ancient virtue, and have masters ready

to instruct them in the wisdom of all former ages! but happiest, beyond

all comparison, are those excellent _struldbrugs_, who, being born

exempt from that universal calamity of human nature, have their minds

free and disengaged, without the weight and depression of spirits

caused by the continual apprehensions of death!” I discovered my

admiration, “that I had not observed any of these illustrious persons

at court; the black spot on the forehead being so remarkable a

distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it: and it was

impossible that his majesty, a most judicious prince, should not

provide himself with a good number of such wise and able counsellors.

Yet perhaps the virtue of those reverend sages was too strict for the

corrupt and libertine manners of a court: and we often find by

experience, that young men are too opinionated and volatile to be

guided by the sober dictates of their seniors. However, since the king

was pleased to allow me access to his royal person, I was resolved,

upon the very first occasion, to deliver my opinion to him on this

matter freely and at large, by the help of my interpreter; and whether

he would please to take my advice or not, yet in one thing I was

determined, that his majesty having frequently offered me an

establishment in this country, I would, with great thankfulness, accept

the favour, and pass my life here in the conversation of those superior

beings the _struldbrugs_, if they would please to admit me.”

The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because (as I have

already observed) he spoke the language of Balnibarbi, said to me, with

a sort of a smile which usually arises from pity to the ignorant, “that

he was glad of any occasion to keep me among them, and desired my

permission to explain to the company what I had spoke.” He did so, and

they talked together for some time in their own language, whereof I

understood not a syllable, neither could I observe by their

countenances, what impression my discourse had made on them. After a

short silence, the same person told me, “that his friends and mine (so

he thought fit to express himself) were very much pleased with the

judicious remarks I had made on the great happiness and advantages of

immortal life, and they were desirous to know, in a particular manner,

what scheme of living I should have formed to myself, if it had fallen

to my lot to have been born a _struldbrug_.”

I answered, “it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and delightful a

subject, especially to me, who had been often apt to amuse myself with

visions of what I should do, if I were a king, a general, or a great

lord: and upon this very case, I had frequently run over the whole

system how I should employ myself, and pass the time, if I were sure to

live for ever.

“That, if it had been my good fortune to come into the world a

_struldbrug_, as soon as I could discover my own happiness, by

understanding the difference between life and death, I would first

resolve, by all arts and methods, whatsoever, to procure myself riches.

In the pursuit of which, by thrift and management, I might reasonably

expect, in about two hundred years, to be the wealthiest man in the

kingdom. In the second place, I would, from my earliest youth, apply

myself to the study of arts and sciences, by which I should arrive in

time to excel all others in learning. Lastly, I would carefully record

every action and event of consequence, that happened in the public,

impartially draw the characters of the several successions of princes

and great ministers of state, with my own observations on every point.

I would exactly set down the several changes in customs, language,

fashions of dress, diet, and diversions. By all which acquirements, I

should be a living treasure of knowledge and wisdom, and certainly

become the oracle of the nation.

“I would never marry after threescore, but live in a hospitable manner,

yet still on the saving side. I would entertain myself in forming and

directing the minds of hopeful young men, by convincing them, from my

own remembrance, experience, and observation, fortified by numerous

examples, of the usefulness of virtue in public and private life. But

my choice and constant companions should be a set of my own immortal

brotherhood; among whom, I would elect a dozen from the most ancient,

down to my own contemporaries. Where any of these wanted fortunes, I

would provide them with convenient lodges round my own estate, and have

some of them always at my table; only mingling a few of the most

valuable among you mortals, whom length of time would harden me to lose

with little or no reluctance, and treat your posterity after the same

manner; just as a man diverts himself with the annual succession of

pinks and tulips in his garden, without regretting the loss of those

which withered the preceding year.

“These _struldbrugs_ and I would mutually communicate our observations

and memorials, through the course of time; remark the several

gradations by which corruption steals into the world, and oppose it in

every step, by giving perpetual warning and instruction to mankind;

which, added to the strong influence of our own example, would probably

prevent that continual degeneracy of human nature so justly complained

of in all ages.

“Add to this, the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions of states

and empires; the changes in the lower and upper world; ancient cities

in ruins, and obscure villages become the seats of kings; famous rivers

lessening into shallow brooks; the ocean leaving one coast dry, and

overwhelming another; the discovery of many countries yet unknown;

barbarity overrunning the politest nations, and the most barbarous

become civilized. I should then see the discovery of the longitude, the

perpetual motion, the universal medicine, and many other great

inventions, brought to the utmost perfection.

“What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy, by outliving

and confirming our own predictions; by observing the progress and

return of comets, with the changes of motion in the sun, moon, and

stars!”

I enlarged upon many other topics, which the natural desire of endless

life, and sublunary happiness, could easily furnish me with. When I had

ended, and the sum of my discourse had been interpreted, as before, to

the rest of the company, there was a good deal of talk among them in

the language of the country, not without some laughter at my expense.

At last, the same gentleman who had been my interpreter, said, “he was

desired by the rest to set me right in a few mistakes, which I had

fallen into through the common imbecility of human nature, and upon

that allowance was less answerable for them. That this breed of

_struldbrugs_ was peculiar to their country, for there were no such

people either in Balnibarbi or Japan, where he had the honour to be

ambassador from his majesty, and found the natives in both those

kingdoms very hard to believe that the fact was possible: and it

appeared from my astonishment when he first mentioned the matter to me,

that I received it as a thing wholly new, and scarcely to be credited.

That in the two kingdoms above mentioned, where, during his residence,

he had conversed very much, he observed long life to be the universal

desire and wish of mankind. That whoever had one foot in the grave was

sure to hold back the other as strongly as he could. That the oldest

had still hopes of living one day longer, and looked on death as the

greatest evil, from which nature always prompted him to retreat. Only

in this island of Luggnagg the appetite for living was not so eager,

from the continual example of the _struldbrugs_ before their eyes.

“That the system of living contrived by me, was unreasonable and

unjust; because it supposed a perpetuity of youth, health, and vigour,

which no man could be so foolish to hope, however extravagant he may be

in his wishes. That the question therefore was not, whether a man would

choose to be always in the prime of youth, attended with prosperity and

health; but how he would pass a perpetual life under all the usual

disadvantages which old age brings along with it. For although few men

will avow their desires of being immortal, upon such hard conditions,

yet in the two kingdoms before mentioned, of Balnibarbi and Japan, he

observed that every man desired to put off death some time longer, let

it approach ever so late: and he rarely heard of any man who died

willingly, except he were incited by the extremity of grief or torture.

And he appealed to me, whether in those countries I had travelled, as

well as my own, I had not observed the same general disposition.”

After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the

_struldbrugs_ among them. He said, “they commonly acted like mortals

till about thirty years old; after which, by degrees, they grew

melancholy and dejected, increasing in both till they came to

fourscore. This he learned from their own confession: for otherwise,

there not being above two or three of that species born in an age, they

were too few to form a general observation by. When they came to

fourscore years, which is reckoned the extremity of living in this

country, they had not only all the follies and infirmities of other old

men, but many more which arose from the dreadful prospect of never

dying. They were not only opinionative, peevish, covetous, morose,

vain, talkative, but incapable of friendship, and dead to all natural

affection, which never descended below their grandchildren. Envy and

impotent desires are their prevailing passions. But those objects

against which their envy seems principally directed, are the vices of

the younger sort and the deaths of the old. By reflecting on the

former, they find themselves cut off from all possibility of pleasure;

and whenever they see a funeral, they lament and repine that others

have gone to a harbour of rest to which they themselves never can hope

to arrive. They have no remembrance of anything but what they learned

and observed in their youth and middle-age, and even that is very

imperfect; and for the truth or particulars of any fact, it is safer to

depend on common tradition, than upon their best recollections. The

least miserable among them appear to be those who turn to dotage, and

entirely lose their memories; these meet with more pity and assistance,

because they want many bad qualities which abound in others.

“If a _struldbrug_ happen to marry one of his own kind, the marriage is

dissolved of course, by the courtesy of the kingdom, as soon as the

younger of the two comes to be fourscore; for the law thinks it a

reasonable indulgence, that those who are condemned, without any fault

of their own, to a perpetual continuance in the world, should not have

their misery doubled by the load of a wife.

“As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years, they are

looked on as dead in law; their heirs immediately succeed to their

estates; only a small pittance is reserved for their support; and the

poor ones are maintained at the public charge. After that period, they

are held incapable of any employment of trust or profit; they cannot

purchase lands, or take leases; neither are they allowed to be

witnesses in any cause, either civil or criminal, not even for the

decision of meers and bounds.

“At ninety, they lose their teeth and hair; they have at that age no

distinction of taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get, without

relish or appetite. The diseases they were subject to still continue,

without increasing or diminishing. In talking, they forget the common

appellation of things, and the names of persons, even of those who are

their nearest friends and relations. For the same reason, they never

can amuse themselves with reading, because their memory will not serve

to carry them from the beginning of a sentence to the end; and by this

defect, they are deprived of the only entertainment whereof they might

otherwise be capable.

“The language of this country being always upon the flux, the

_struldbrugs_ of one age do not understand those of another; neither

are they able, after two hundred years, to hold any conversation

(farther than by a few general words) with their neighbours the

mortals; and thus they lie under the disadvantage of living like

foreigners in their own country.”

This was the account given me of the _struldbrugs_, as near as I can

remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different ages, the youngest

not above two hundred years old, who were brought to me at several

times by some of my friends; but although they were told, “that I was a

great traveller, and had seen all the world,” they had not the least

curiosity to ask me a question; only desired “I would give them

_slumskudask_,” or a token of remembrance; which is a modest way of

begging, to avoid the law, that strictly forbids it, because they are

provided for by the public, although indeed with a very scanty

allowance.

They are despised and hated by all sorts of people. When one of them is

born, it is reckoned ominous, and their birth is recorded very

particularly so that you may know their age by consulting the register,

which, however, has not been kept above a thousand years past, or at

least has been destroyed by time or public disturbances. But the usual

way of computing how old they are, is by asking them what kings or

great persons they can remember, and then consulting history; for

infallibly the last prince in their mind did not begin his reign after

they were fourscore years old.

They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld; and the women more

horrible than the men. Besides the usual deformities in extreme old

age, they acquired an additional ghastliness, in proportion to their

number of years, which is not to be described; and among half a dozen,

I soon distinguished which was the eldest, although there was not above

a century or two between them.

The reader will easily believe, that from what I had heard and seen, my

keen appetite for perpetuity of life was much abated. I grew heartily

ashamed of the pleasing visions I had formed; and thought no tyrant

could invent a death into which I would not run with pleasure, from

such a life. The king heard of all that had passed between me and my

friends upon this occasion, and rallied me very pleasantly; wishing I

could send a couple of _struldbrugs_ to my own country, to arm our

people against the fear of death; but this, it seems, is forbidden by

the fundamental laws of the kingdom, or else I should have been well

content with the trouble and expense of transporting them.

I could not but agree, that the laws of this kingdom relative to the

_struldbrugs_ were founded upon the strongest reasons, and such as any

other country would be under the necessity of enacting, in the like

circumstances. Otherwise, as avarice is the necessary consequence of

old age, those immortals would in time become proprietors of the whole

nation, and engross the civil power, which, for want of abilities to

manage, must end in the ruin of the public.

CHAPTER XI.

The author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan. From thence he returns

in a Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England.

I thought this account of the _struldbrugs_ might be some entertainment

to the reader, because it seems to be a little out of the common way;

at least I do not remember to have met the like in any book of travels

that has come to my hands; and if I am deceived, my excuse must be,

that it is necessary for travellers who describe the same country, very

often to agree in dwelling on the same particulars, without deserving

the censure of having borrowed or transcribed from those who wrote

before them.

There is indeed a perpetual commerce between this kingdom and the great

empire of Japan; and it is very probable, that the Japanese authors may

have given some account of the _struldbrugs_; but my stay in Japan was

so short, and I was so entirely a stranger to the language, that I was

not qualified to make any inquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this

notice, will be curious and able enough to supply my defects.

His majesty having often pressed me to accept some employment in his

court, and finding me absolutely determined to return to my native

country, was pleased to give me his license to depart; and honoured me

with a letter of recommendation, under his own hand, to the Emperor of

Japan. He likewise presented me with four hundred and forty-four large

pieces of gold (this nation delighting in even numbers), and a red

diamond, which I sold in England for eleven hundred pounds.

On the 6th day of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his majesty, and

all my friends. This prince was so gracious as to order a guard to

conduct me to Glanguenstald, which is a royal port to the south-west

part of the island. In six days I found a vessel ready to carry me to

Japan, and spent fifteen days in the voyage. We landed at a small

port-town called Xamoschi, situated on the south-east part of Japan;

the town lies on the western point, where there is a narrow strait

leading northward into a long arm of the sea, upon the north-west part

of which, Yedo, the metropolis, stands. At landing, I showed the

custom-house officers my letter from the king of Luggnagg to his

imperial majesty. They knew the seal perfectly well; it was as broad as

the palm of my hand. The impression was, _A king lifting up a lame

beggar from the earth_. The magistrates of the town, hearing of my

letter, received me as a public minister. They provided me with

carriages and servants, and bore my charges to Yedo; where I was

admitted to an audience, and delivered my letter, which was opened with

great ceremony, and explained to the Emperor by an interpreter, who

then gave me notice, by his majesty’s order, “that I should signify my

request, and, whatever it were, it should be granted, for the sake of

his royal brother of Luggnagg.” This interpreter was a person employed

to transact affairs with the Hollanders. He soon conjectured, by my

countenance, that I was a European, and therefore repeated his

majesty’s commands in Low Dutch, which he spoke perfectly well. I

answered, as I had before determined, “that I was a Dutch merchant,

shipwrecked in a very remote country, whence I had travelled by sea and

land to Luggnagg, and then took shipping for Japan; where I knew my

countrymen often traded, and with some of these I hoped to get an

opportunity of returning into Europe: I therefore most humbly entreated

his royal favour, to give order that I should be conducted in safety to

Nangasac.” To this I added another petition, “that for the sake of my

patron the king of Luggnagg, his majesty would condescend to excuse my

performing the ceremony imposed on my countrymen, of trampling upon the

crucifix, because I had been thrown into his kingdom by my misfortunes,

without any intention of trading.” When this latter petition was

interpreted to the Emperor, he seemed a little surprised; and said, “he

believed I was the first of my countrymen who ever made any scruple in

this point; and that he began to doubt, whether I was a real Hollander,

or not; but rather suspected I must be a Christian. However, for the

reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the king of Luggnagg by

an uncommon mark of his favour, he would comply with the singularity of

my humour; but the affair must be managed with dexterity, and his

officers should be commanded to let me pass, as it were by

forgetfulness. For he assured me, that if the secret should be

discovered by my countrymen the Dutch, they would cut my throat in the

voyage.” I returned my thanks, by the interpreter, for so unusual a

favour; and some troops being at that time on their march to Nangasac,

the commanding officer had orders to convey me safe thither, with

particular instructions about the business of the crucifix.

On the 9th day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very long

and troublesome journey. I soon fell into the company of some Dutch

sailors belonging to the Amboyna, of Amsterdam, a stout ship of 450

tons. I had lived long in Holland, pursuing my studies at Leyden, and I

spoke Dutch well. The seamen soon knew from whence I came last: they

were curious to inquire into my voyages and course of life. I made up a

story as short and probable as I could, but concealed the greatest

part. I knew many persons in Holland. I was able to invent names for my

parents, whom I pretended to be obscure people in the province of

Gelderland. I would have given the captain (one Theodorus Vangrult)

what he pleased to ask for my voyage to Holland; but understanding I

was a surgeon, he was contented to take half the usual rate, on

condition that I would serve him in the way of my calling. Before we

took shipping, I was often asked by some of the crew, whether I had

performed the ceremony above mentioned. I evaded the question by

general answers; “that I had satisfied the Emperor and court in all

particulars.” However, a malicious rogue of a skipper went to an

officer, and pointing to me, told him, “I had not yet trampled on the

crucifix;” but the other, who had received instructions to let me pass,

gave the rascal twenty strokes on the shoulders with a bamboo; after

which I was no more troubled with such questions.

Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We sailed with a fair

wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we staid only to take in fresh

water. On the 10th of April, 1710, we arrived safe at Amsterdam, having

lost only three men by sickness in the voyage, and a fourth, who fell

from the foremast into the sea, not far from the coast of Guinea. From

Amsterdam I soon after set sail for England, in a small vessel

belonging to that city.

On the 16th of April, 1710, we put in at the Downs. I landed next

morning, and saw once more my native country, after an absence of five

years and six months complete. I went straight to Redriff, where I

arrived the same day at two in the afternoon, and found my wife and

family in good health.

PART IV. A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS.

CHAPTER I.

The author sets out as captain of a ship. His men conspire against him,

confine him a long time to his cabin, and set him on shore in an

unknown land. He travels up into the country. The Yahoos, a strange

sort of animal, described. The author meets two Houyhnhnms.

I continued at home with my wife and children about five months in a

very happy condition, if I could have learned the lesson of knowing

when I was well. I left my poor wife big with child, and accepted an

advantageous offer made me to be captain of the Adventurer, a stout

merchantman of 350 tons: for I understood navigation well, and being

grown weary of a surgeon’s employment at sea, which, however, I could

exercise upon occasion, I took a skilful young man of that calling, one

Robert Purefoy, into my ship. We set sail from Portsmouth upon the 7th

day of August, 1710; on the 14th we met with Captain Pocock, of

Bristol, at Teneriffe, who was going to the bay of Campechy to cut

logwood. On the 16th, he was parted from us by a storm; I heard since

my return, that his ship foundered, and none escaped but one cabin boy.

He was an honest man, and a good sailor, but a little too positive in

his own opinions, which was the cause of his destruction, as it has

been with several others; for if he had followed my advice, he might

have been safe at home with his family at this time, as well as myself.

I had several men who died in my ship of calentures, so that I was

forced to get recruits out of Barbadoes and the Leeward Islands, where

I touched, by the direction of the merchants who employed me; which I

had soon too much cause to repent: for I found afterwards, that most of

them had been buccaneers. I had fifty hands on board; and my orders

were, that I should trade with the Indians in the South-Sea, and make

what discoveries I could. These rogues, whom I had picked up, debauched

my other men, and they all formed a conspiracy to seize the ship, and

secure me; which they did one morning, rushing into my cabin, and

binding me hand and foot, threatening to throw me overboard, if I

offered to stir. I told them, “I was their prisoner, and would submit.”

This they made me swear to do, and then they unbound me, only fastening

one of my legs with a chain, near my bed, and placed a sentry at my

door with his piece charged, who was commanded to shoot me dead if I

attempted my liberty. They sent me down victuals and drink, and took

the government of the ship to themselves. Their design was to turn

pirates, and plunder the Spaniards, which they could not do till they

got more men. But first they resolved to sell the goods in the ship,

and then go to Madagascar for recruits, several among them having died

since my confinement. They sailed many weeks, and traded with the

Indians; but I knew not what course they took, being kept a close

prisoner in my cabin, and expecting nothing less than to be murdered,

as they often threatened me.

Upon the 9th day of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to my cabin,

and said, “he had orders from the captain to set me ashore.” I

expostulated with him, but in vain; neither would he so much as tell me

who their new captain was. They forced me into the long-boat, letting

me put on my best suit of clothes, which were as good as new, and take

a small bundle of linen, but no arms, except my hanger; and they were

so civil as not to search my pockets, into which I conveyed what money

I had, with some other little necessaries. They rowed about a league,

and then set me down on a strand. I desired them to tell me what

country it was. They all swore, “they knew no more than myself;” but

said, “that the captain” (as they called him) “was resolved, after they

had sold the lading, to get rid of me in the first place where they

could discover land.” They pushed off immediately, advising me to make

haste for fear of being overtaken by the tide, and so bade me farewell.

In this desolate condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon firm

ground, where I sat down on a bank to rest myself, and consider what I

had best do. When I was a little refreshed, I went up into the country,

resolving to deliver myself to the first savages I should meet, and

purchase my life from them by some bracelets, glass rings, and other

toys, which sailors usually provide themselves with in those voyages,

and whereof I had some about me. The land was divided by long rows of

trees, not regularly planted, but naturally growing; there was great

plenty of grass, and several fields of oats. I walked very

circumspectly, for fear of being surprised, or suddenly shot with an

arrow from behind, or on either side. I fell into a beaten road, where

I saw many tracts of human feet, and some of cows, but most of horses.

At last I beheld several animals in a field, and one or two of the same

kind sitting in trees. Their shape was very singular and deformed,

which a little discomposed me, so that I lay down behind a thicket to

observe them better. Some of them coming forward near the place where I

lay, gave me an opportunity of distinctly marking their form. Their

heads and breasts were covered with a thick hair, some frizzled, and

others lank; they had beards like goats, and a long ridge of hair down

their backs, and the fore parts of their legs and feet; but the rest of

their bodies was bare, so that I might see their skins, which were of a

brown buff colour. They had no tails, nor any hair at all on their

buttocks, except about the anus, which, I presume, nature had placed

there to defend them as they sat on the ground, for this posture they

used, as well as lying down, and often stood on their hind feet. They

climbed high trees as nimbly as a squirrel, for they had strong

extended claws before and behind, terminating in sharp points, and

hooked. They would often spring, and bound, and leap, with prodigious

agility. The females were not so large as the males; they had long lank

hair on their heads, but none on their faces, nor any thing more than a

sort of down on the rest of their bodies, except about the anus and

pudenda. The dugs hung between their forefeet, and often reached almost

to the ground as they walked. The hair of both sexes was of several

colours, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon the whole, I never beheld,

in all my travels, so disagreeable an animal, or one against which I

naturally conceived so strong an antipathy. So that, thinking I had

seen enough, full of contempt and aversion, I got up, and pursued the

beaten road, hoping it might direct me to the cabin of some Indian. I

had not got far, when I met one of these creatures full in my way, and

coming up directly to me. The ugly monster, when he saw me, distorted

several ways, every feature of his visage, and stared, as at an object

he had never seen before; then approaching nearer, lifted up his

fore-paw, whether out of curiosity or mischief I could not tell; but I

drew my hanger, and gave him a good blow with the flat side of it, for

I durst not strike with the edge, fearing the inhabitants might be

provoked against me, if they should come to know that I had killed or

maimed any of their cattle. When the beast felt the smart, he drew

back, and roared so loud, that a herd of at least forty came flocking

about me from the next field, howling and making odious faces; but I

ran to the body of a tree, and leaning my back against it, kept them

off by waving my hanger. Several of this cursed brood, getting hold of

the branches behind, leaped up into the tree, whence they began to

discharge their excrements on my head; however, I escaped pretty well

by sticking close to the stem of the tree, but was almost stifled with

the filth, which fell about me on every side.

In the midst of this distress, I observed them all to run away on a

sudden as fast as they could; at which I ventured to leave the tree and

pursue the road, wondering what it was that could put them into this

fright. But looking on my left hand, I saw a horse walking softly in

the field; which my persecutors having sooner discovered, was the cause

of their flight. The horse started a little, when he came near me, but

soon recovering himself, looked full in my face with manifest tokens of

wonder; he viewed my hands and feet, walking round me several times. I

would have pursued my journey, but he placed himself directly in the

way, yet looking with a very mild aspect, never offering the least

violence. We stood gazing at each other for some time; at last I took

the boldness to reach my hand towards his neck with a design to stroke

it, using the common style and whistle of jockeys, when they are going

to handle a strange horse. But this animal seemed to receive my

civilities with disdain, shook his head, and bent his brows, softly

raising up his right fore-foot to remove my hand. Then he neighed three

or four times, but in so different a cadence, that I almost began to

think he was speaking to himself, in some language of his own.

While he and I were thus employed, another horse came up; who applying

himself to the first in a very formal manner, they gently struck each

other’s right hoof before, neighing several times by turns, and varying

the sound, which seemed to be almost articulate. They went some paces

off, as if it were to confer together, walking side by side, backward

and forward, like persons deliberating upon some affair of weight, but

often turning their eyes towards me, as it were to watch that I might

not escape. I was amazed to see such actions and behaviour in brute

beasts; and concluded with myself, that if the inhabitants of this

country were endued with a proportionable degree of reason, they must

needs be the wisest people upon earth. This thought gave me so much

comfort, that I resolved to go forward, until I could discover some

house or village, or meet with any of the natives, leaving the two

horses to discourse together as they pleased. But the first, who was a

dapple gray, observing me to steal off, neighed after me in so

expressive a tone, that I fancied myself to understand what he meant;

whereupon I turned back, and came near to him to expect his farther

commands: but concealing my fear as much as I could, for I began to be

in some pain how this adventure might terminate; and the reader will

easily believe I did not much like my present situation.

The two horses came up close to me, looking with great earnestness upon

my face and hands. The gray steed rubbed my hat all round with his

right fore-hoof, and discomposed it so much that I was forced to adjust

it better by taking it off and settling it again; whereat, both he and

his companion (who was a brown bay) appeared to be much surprised: the

latter felt the lappet of my coat, and finding it to hang loose about

me, they both looked with new signs of wonder. He stroked my right

hand, seeming to admire the softness and colour; but he squeezed it so

hard between his hoof and his pastern, that I was forced to roar; after

which they both touched me with all possible tenderness. They were

under great perplexity about my shoes and stockings, which they felt

very often, neighing to each other, and using various gestures, not

unlike those of a philosopher, when he would attempt to solve some new

and difficult phenomenon.

Upon the whole, the behaviour of these animals was so orderly and

rational, so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded they must

needs be magicians, who had thus metamorphosed themselves upon some

design, and seeing a stranger in the way, resolved to divert themselves

with him; or, perhaps, were really amazed at the sight of a man so very

different in habit, feature, and complexion, from those who might

probably live in so remote a climate. Upon the strength of this

reasoning, I ventured to address them in the following manner:

“Gentlemen, if you be conjurers, as I have good cause to believe, you

can understand my language; therefore I make bold to let your worships

know that I am a poor distressed Englishman, driven by his misfortunes

upon your coast; and I entreat one of you to let me ride upon his back,

as if he were a real horse, to some house or village where I can be

relieved. In return of which favour, I will make you a present of this

knife and bracelet,” taking them out of my pocket. The two creatures

stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with great attention, and

when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards each other, as if

they were engaged in serious conversation. I plainly observed that

their language expressed the passions very well, and the words might,

with little pains, be resolved into an alphabet more easily than the

Chinese.

I could frequently distinguish the word _Yahoo_, which was repeated by

each of them several times: and although it was impossible for me to

conjecture what it meant, yet while the two horses were busy in

conversation, I endeavoured to practise this word upon my tongue; and

as soon as they were silent, I boldly pronounced _Yahoo_ in a loud

voice, imitating at the same time, as near as I could, the neighing of

a horse; at which they were both visibly surprised; and the gray

repeated the same word twice, as if he meant to teach me the right

accent; wherein I spoke after him as well as I could, and found myself

perceivably to improve every time, though very far from any degree of

perfection. Then the bay tried me with a second word, much harder to be

pronounced; but reducing it to the English orthography, may be spelt

thus, _Houyhnhnm_. I did not succeed in this so well as in the former;

but after two or three farther trials, I had better fortune; and they

both appeared amazed at my capacity.

After some further discourse, which I then conjectured might relate to

me, the two friends took their leaves, with the same compliment of

striking each other’s hoof; and the gray made me signs that I should

walk before him; wherein I thought it prudent to comply, till I could

find a better director. When I offered to slacken my pace, he would cry

_hhuun hhuun_: I guessed his meaning, and gave him to understand, as

well as I could, “that I was weary, and not able to walk faster;” upon

which he would stand a while to let me rest.