When I reached home I fell upon my bed without undressing.
“Shameless eyes, again he has bathed in the lake in all his clothes!”
grumbled Polycarp as he pulled off my wet and dirty garments. “Again a
punishment for me! Again we have the noble, the educated, worse than
any chimney-sweep. . . . I don't know what they taught you in the
'versity!”
I, who could not bear the human voice or man's face, wanted to shout
at Polycarp that he should leave me in peace, but the words died away
on my lips. My tongue was as enfeebled and powerless as the rest of my
body. Though it was painful for me, still I was obliged to let
Polycarp pull off all my clothes, even to my wet underlinen.
“He might turn round at least,” my servant grumbled as he rolled me
over from side to side like a small doll. “To-morrow I'll give
warning! Never again . . . for no amount of money! I, old fool, have
had enough of this! May the devil take me if I remain any longer!”
The fresh warm linen did not warm or calm me. I trembled so much with
rage and fear, that my very teeth chattered. My fear was inexplicable.
I was not frightened by apparitions or by spectres risen from the
grave, not even by the portrait of Pospelov, my predecessor, which was
hanging just above my head. He never took his lifeless eyes off my
face, and seemed to wink at me. But I was quite unaffected when I
looked at him. My future was not brilliant, but all the same I could
say with great probability that there was nothing that threatened me,
that there were no black clouds near. Death was not to be expected
soon; I had no terrible diseases, and I took no heed of personal
misfortunes. . . . What did I fear, then, and why did my teeth
chatter?