_Item Eighth_
AND now I am in duty bound to add a bit of personal history that it may
descend with the above historic accounts of the doings and sayings of my
ancestry, in order that future generations may not become conceited in
the contemplation of their achievements, as they must be of a less
wonderful quality each succeeding year, for the great men are rapidly
becoming fewer and fewer and the earth at length will not possess a
single one whose deeds will be worthy of recording.
So, out of pride for the past and passing grandeur of my ancestors and
their descendants, I yield to my sense of responsibility and pen a
sketch or two which should inspire my children and their children with
gratitude that they should have been my children and therefore the
children of my forefathers.
Be it known then that my great propensity was war. The clash of arms
always possessed a fascination I could not withstand. And to that one
fact my nation owes its existence, for had I remained at home on a
certain day the entire country would have been devastated and the
kingdom have gone into other hands. It happened in this wise:
The army of our king had been fighting continuously for many months and
it was composed of such great numbers the provender had been exhausted
and the warriors were beginning to die of starvation. While it is true a
knight may live and fight many days without food and not lose in his
execution, yet there is a limit beyond which his power wanes. This limit
had been reached some time since and our knights were mere shadows while
the forces of our enemies were still well provided with food, were lusty
and rampant, and were hewing down great numbers of our chivalry with
ease.
I had been detained from the field, for the king could not dispense with
my personal service; but when this state of things became known to me I
told the king he must excuse my absence, and I departed, much to his
displeasure.
When I reached the camp my heart sank within me, for my sorrow was deep
upon beholding the wasted forms of such mighty men, still determined of
mind but incapacitated of body.
I had brought with me a great auger, which I could make of any length,
and, after a few moments spent in calculation, I bored with such
persistence the auger seemed to be forced downward by superhuman power.
While I was boring with one hand, with the other I formed a great basin
about me from softened rock or cement I had brought with me, which
hardened as fast as I had it in proper shape, which happened at the time
I had my auger at the proper depth.
I thereupon withdrew the auger, and with a single bound cleared the
basin just as a stream of liquid, the full size of the hole made by the
auger, shot upward and the basin was soon comfortably filled.
The men all being exceedingly thirsty ran with great speed to the edge
of the basin, and began to drink. It did my heart good to note the
expression of pleasure which instantly spread over their emaciated
faces, and to see them motioning to their comrades with their hands to
hurry up, but without removing their lips from the liquid. Their
strength increased as their hunger decreased, and when they were
satisfied they fell upon the enemy like a whirlwind, slaughtering them
in every direction, and what were not killed fled precipitately from the
country.
Then it became known what manner of spring it was that was so
stimulating, and how it had been brought about.
Well knowing the geological formation of the neighborhood, I was aware
that at a certain depth there flowed a stream of hot water; above this
was a stratum of oysters and shellfish that had been left there by the
drain-off of an inlet from the ocean; above this was a stratum of salt
which had kept the oysters fresh and good; above this was a layer of
pungent earth; above this the ordinary deposits. So that, first the hot
water rushed up through the oyster bed, turned the oysters into soup,
which next rushed through the salt and was thus seasoned agreeably, and
next rushed through the pungent earth, and was given just enough spice
to whet the appetite.
And thus it was that oyster soup furnished by Nature won the kingdom for
our king.
At another time there was a great wolf hunt proposed by the king in my
honor. As I knew the road would lead through a country well filled with
streams both wide and narrow, I selected a very slender but exceedingly
wiry steed for a purpose that will appear hereafter.
The wolf being located and started, the hounds came down the mountain
side in full cry. I had alighted to tighten the girth when they got off;
but this did not disconcert me in the least, being quite sure of myself
and of my horse.
[Illustration]
As I had expected, I overtook them at the bank of a very deep and
violent stream. Some horses had refused the wading and some riders,
thinking it imprudent to venture, had started around by another way. I
sounded my horn as I came on at full speed, notwithstanding the cries of
warning which rang from their throats. My horse struck the edge of the
bank, made a gallant leap, but would have landed in the water about
one-third the way across, but being a man of extraordinary strength,
just as he struck the surface of the water I lifted him by the pommel of
the saddle, and he made another spring, and just as he struck the water
again I lifted him once more, and by a magnificent leap we gained the
other side, just as the hounds had brought the wolf at bay within a few
hundred yards.
Thinking it unfair to rob my brethren of the pleasure of the death, I
waited for them with my lance poised.
The wolf was a monarch of his race and very tough indeed, as was
afterward proved. For, when my comrades arrived, he broke through the
hounds and made off in long and speedy bounds.
Being at too great distance for my lance, I drew my Winchester, and
taking deliberate aim with my horse at full speed I let drive. The wolf
was so startled he turned abruptly right about just as the bullet
reached his middle, on its course clear through him, and thus sent the
bullet back with undiminished velocity, and it struck my good horse
between the eyes and went through the entire length of him.
And ever after he was no use in the chase of wild beasts, for the bullet
had left the bones of his head in such shape about the hole whenever he
was put at a swift gait he became a gigantic organ pipe and frightened
the game long before we came upon it.
As it was, however, the wolf was dead, and I had the honor of carrying
his scalp home. The manner of his death I almost forgot to mention, for
the bullet did not dispatch him.
Having turned about, and the missile’s passage having made him very
irritable, he made directly for me. Turning my horse to one side just
before he reached me I bent low and sent my lance down his throat,
catching the head as it came through and bringing up the wolf nicely
impaled upon it—he being then stone dead, for the lance had passed
through his heart.
------------------------------------------------------------------------