_Item Third_
MY three-great-grandfather was a noted fisherman, and one of his
adventures may not be out of place here, as it sets forth quite fully
the sagacity and foresight of my ancestry.
He was one day sailing to his nets when he observed the buoys moving in
a most erratic manner. It was his habit to prepare nets to entrap a
delicious fish much in demand at the table of royalty, and he alone of
all the fishermen it was who knew the feeding places of this particular
fish and had received a royal patent giving him the exclusive right to
sell that particular fish in the entire kingdom.
But this season had been very dull, and he had about concluded the fish
had changed pasturage, and had settled upon a plan of action that would
locate their new feeding grounds.
So withal he was much surprised to find his nets many miles nearer shore
than was the place at which he had staked them but the day previous, and
to behold them moving toward him at a steady gait, which could not be
accounted for by reckoning the wind, of which there was not a breath at
this time.
But his tremendous knowledge of the habits of the denizens of the deep
came to his rescue and he veered from his course, let the nets go by,
and turned and followed them at such convenient distance he discovered
the truth of his conjecture.
There was a class of shark infesting those waters which had an especial
liking for the kind of fish he was snaring, and these same sharks were
exceedingly observant of his actions, as was now evident from the fact
that at either end of the net, holding a stake in his jaws, was an
enormous specimen swimming with great swiftness.
Hither and thither went the sharks, carrying the net in all directions.
After an hour or two spent in this fashion, my forefather observed the
speed of the net was slackening and he prepared for action, for he
conceived the net was becoming so full of fish the sharks could not much
longer propel it, and he was satisfied they would soon stop and go in
for the feast they had thus prepared.
He was never taken unawares, and so it happened that the large saw
fastened to the keel of his boat was brought into play.
And so it was, when the sharks at last stuck the stakes in the bottom,
swam out in front of the net and stood side by side greedily
contemplating the magnificent feast spread before them, my ancestor bore
down upon them swiftly and sawed them each into two pieces so quickly
neither of them was aware of it for some time after their tails had
wiggled away, and might never have found out what was the trouble had
they not looked back to see why their tails did not obey their commands
to push them ahead. When they did find it out they were so chagrined
they with one accord died then and there, as a just tribute to their
sublime disgust with themselves.
And the amount of fish thus taken by my ancestor was so incomprehensible
words fail to convey any adequate idea of its magnitude. There was not a
single mesh in the net which did not contain at least one fish, and the
net was four hundred feet long and five fathoms deep and each mesh was
an inch and a half square. The method of computation is easy, but time
is precious.
Thereupon my ancestor became a baron and the title has descended to your
humble servant.
_Item Fourth_
My two-great-grandfather was a wise magician, and, so celebrated was he,
wise men of the entire world consulted him upon doubtful questions which
he readily solved without a single error in his calculations.
His various experiences when a mere lad with the genii were the
foundation of his accomplishments, and in maturer years he made
countless discoveries of new and wonderful things. It is my pleasure to
regale you with one of these.
He had obtained great wealth by the aid of the curious lamp he had found
in the most marvelous manner, but which is of small importance in
comparison with what I am about to relate; and he so considered it, for
he gave the lamp to a beggar when he had secured the talisman which is
the subject of this sketch.
[Illustration]
Then be it remembered that in the land of the Sapphires and Diamonds
there lived a princess of such matchless beauty no man had yet looked
upon her and survived the fire of the love which was instantaneously
engendered within his breast; for he could sleep neither by day nor by
night, nor could he eat or drink, but could think of nothing but this
lovely princess. And the final end of each was the final end of all,
which was by kissing the princess on the lips, for so cold was she the
chilling shock to the burning heart produced instant death.
It was the serious desire of this princess when she became queen to wed,
and so great was her disappointment at the death of each and every
suitor she offered her realm to the man who should survive her kiss.
It so happened upon the publication of that information in the daily
papers of the kingdom, the number of dead bodies in the queen’s palace
became so great she could not move from where she stood, and suitors
were not permitted to make the attempt for the space of six months, it
requiring that time to remove and properly bury the dead, which were men
of valor and renown, and their deaths were much deplored. No war had
ever destroyed so many mighty warriors and statesmen and poets and
clergymen and priests and common men in the history of the world.
It was about the end of the six months that my forefather entered the
kingdom and became possessed of this information.
Being at the age when all the fires of existence are strong and steady,
he would have at once entered the lists had he not been awakened one
dark night by the moaning of the wind. Being well versed in the language
of the breezes he accurately read the message and without loss of time
took to his horse and sped over the mountains. He traveled steadily
onward for several days, all the while rising high and higher.
But one gigantic peak remained to be scaled, when his progress was
stopped by the great body of a terrible serpent so large in
circumference it would have taken years to have built a bridge across
it, as it extended several times around the peak.
This serpent my ancestor knew to be the genii which stood guard over the
treasure of which he was in search. So, leaving his horse, he crept
stealthily along until he found the monster’s head and it was sound
asleep. He took from his pouch two large burning glasses and calculated
the distance with such nicety the fire of the sun consumed both its eyes
instantly. So great was its pain it uncoiled itself from about the
mountain and rushed off into the valley, not knowing whither it went.
My forefather then bestrode his horse and safely arrived at the edge of
the summit.
But here again his progress was stopped by a gate made of pure glass
several feet thick and of great height, and which was but part of a
fence of similar material that extended entirely around the top of the
peak.
Within the enclosure was an extensive, magnificent park filled with
large trees, around and among which twined countless vines, each bearing
exquisite flowers, each of a different hue and of delightful fragrance.
So beautiful was all within and so handsome the fence, he would not
destroy it as he easily might have done. So he cast about him for a
means of entrance to this paradise.
Now, it so occurred he had brought with him a compound which he mixed
with the gum of a certain tree standing close by. Then with his hatchet
he formed pieces of wood which he proceeded to place against the glass
and which adhered firmly thereto by reason of the paste with which he
had coated one side thereof. And thus he made a very comfortable ladder
by virtue of which he was soon on the other side, for he made steps on
that as he had done on the first side.
In turning a corner in one of the many lanes, he was confronted by ten
ravishingly beautiful women, so rich had Nature been in her adornment of
them. They stopped him and asked which was the most beautiful one of the
ten. He gazed at them critically, and then insisted he was utterly
unable to tell, for each was so deliciously sweet any man would be
contented and happy with her. And so it was they exclaimed in unison he
was a most excellent man and deserved everything he could wish as his
reward, for he had been exceedingly wise in his answer.
He said he could not imagine for a moment any one could have made any
other guess than the one he had made, when he was told there had been a
princess there some years agone and had been asked the same question.
They told him she had replied by selecting one of them, whereupon the
princess was stricken with a heart of ice for having preferred one of
the sisters above the others.
“A heart of ice!” he exclaimed.
“Yes, yes,” they replied; “a heart of ice.”
“What is that? The poor princess.”
“It is indeed sad,” said they; “for she will freeze to death every lover
that kisses her lips and she will endure terrible agonies; for every man
who looks upon her will be smitten, and she will let him kiss her to
test his love, and he will die on the spot, frozen through and through
by the shock of the cold of her heart striking against the heat of his
heart.”
“Too bad!” said he.
“Not so,” they cried. “It served her right.”
“But is there no cure for this malady?” he asked.
“Yes, indeed,” they cried; “and a very sweet one it is.”
“What is it?” asked he. “Inasmuch as you have said I deserve everything
I wish, I wish that information.”
They laughed and glanced merrily at each other, thinking he was trying
to catch them in a falsehood.
“First of all, then,” said one, “there must come a very brave man; for
he must overcome the serpent at the foot of the hill; he must scale the
fence of glass, and he must answer our question correctly. And then he
must go to the center of the earth and kiss our queen.”
“Show me the way to the center of the earth,” he demanded.
They laughingly led him to a great hole in the ground, which was as
smooth as glass, and he afterward learned it was a glass tube which ran
to the center of the earth. As he stood looking down it and meditating
they said many had gone down but not one had ever returned.
His quick mind had solved the difficulty, for to the one nearest him he
said:
“Will you give me as a talisman one hair from the top of your head and
permit me to select it?”
The others became quite hilarious at this, and twitted him on making his
first guess a lie.
When he had obtained the hair he turned to the next one and made of her
a similar request, and so on until he had a hair from the head of each
one. Then he braided them together and asked:
“You say many have gone down but none has returned. What became of
them?”
“They have fallen and died, for they knew not how to get down,” was
their answer.
He then took from his pocket a small phial, removed the cork, took some
of the contents on the tips of his fingers and rubbed it on the rope
made of the hair of their heads. It at once began to grow in length much
faster than it grew in size, and ere he had used the contents of the
phial the end had touched the center of the earth.
Then he said to them: “You hold this end and I will go to the center of
the earth, and wait you here and hold the rope until I come. You will
promise that, as I wish it and you have promised to grant me whatever I
wish.”
They agreed. He wrapped the rope about a stick of glass and quickly
disappeared.
At the end of his descent he found himself in the midst of a large
assemblage, who looked upon him wonderingly, not knowing what sort of a
being he was, or seeming not to know. He was led toward a throne which
flashed upon him with such brilliance he did not at first behold it was
occupied. When he became accustomed to the dazzling radiance of the
throne he beheld sitting upon it the most beautiful woman, and she must
have been indeed fascinating, for he had never dreamed of one so
bewitching, and he was a great dreamer.
It was impossible for him to remove his gaze from her for a long time,
and when she spoke the music of her tones held him spellbound. The
glances of her eyes were almost torturing.
But he kept saying to himself she could not be more delicious than the
princess, and surely not so many men have died for this one’s love as
have died for the love of the princess; therefore, the princess must be
still more lovely.
Thus saying he recovered his composure, stepped to the throne, and began
to ascend. Thereupon a murmur arose which made him pause for an instant;
but the queen held out her arms; into them he flew and sought to kiss
her, but she clung to him so tenderly and cautiously he could not do so
at once. He was not to be outdone, however, and lavished caresses upon
her until she was off her guard, when he kissed her full upon her red
lips. There went a thrill through him he had never experienced and it
made him dizzy for awhile, for she did not permit him to remove his lips
from hers.
Then came before his mind’s eye the poor princess and her torturing
condition. His sense of duty to her overcame the blandishments of this
fair, sweet one, and slowly but delicately he freed himself from her
embrace, saying:
“O, Queen, thou art the most beautiful of all flesh; there are no other
lips like thine; no other woman was ever possessed of such an exquisite
form; no other woman’s voice hath so many charms—thou art the queen of
queens.”
“Then abide thou here and be my king,” said she.
“It may not be,” said he, “for I have a duty to perform to one of thy
sex who is suffering from a terrible malady, and that duty is greater
than thy charms, though none knows their grandeur.”
Then the queen drew him gently to her and kissed him on the forehead
most lovingly, and bade him sit beside her.
After long and beautiful converse with her, in which she told him she
was but tempting him to test his fitness for the mission, he left her
with instructions to treat each of the ten maids above as he had treated
her—which made him tremble slightly.
When he had ascended to the garden the ten maids were waiting for him
and one of them held out her arms to him. He responded with alacrity and
she held him so lovingly that for a moment his resolution wavered. But
he released himself only to be folded in the arms of another and another
until the last one twined her arms about him.
It had been a gallant struggle, but it had ended there had not the
neighing of his horse recalled him to himself.
Thereupon he tore himself away, ran up the ladder, down the other side,
mounted his horse, and they flew down the steep incline with such speed
that though the old serpent had returned with new eyes they cleared his
body at a single bound and were off through the mountains in the
twinkling of a star, speeding toward the palace of the princess.
When he entered the hall but one suitor had been tested and he lay dead
on the floor. There followed him in, however, a horde of would-be
lovers, of all stations and degrees, but the strict order of arrival was
observed, and he stood next in succession.
As he advanced toward the bewitching being his eyes burned and his pulse
throbbed with twice its usual power. He was drawn with such magnetism he
could not resist. She was even more comely than any of the charmers he
had met in the mountain.
He was within ten paces of her and she was looking at him yearningly,
when there suddenly appeared between them the ten maids, who asked of
her:
“Which of us is the most beautiful?”
The princess queen was undecided, glancing slowly from one to the other.
Then she was bewildered, and at last cried:
“I cannot tell, for you are all so lovely it is impossible for any
mortal to say.”
Thereupon they clapped their hands and vanished.
Then he stepped forward and folded her in his arms. Their lips met not
once or twice, but many, many times. The crowd had expected him to fall
dead, and it now roared with rage, for it had not observed the maids and
knew not what had really happened, and each had considered that had it
been himself that had pressed her lips he should not have died.
So my forefather became the king of the realm and ruled so well and
amiably he was beloved by all his subjects, but most of all by the ten
fairies, for they were nothing less, who lived on the mountain top and
to whom each year he gave a great feast.
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