STO RY, who was the son of Fik Shun, who was the son of Fay Re Tales,
who was the son of Li Ur, speaks as one having large knowledge of many
curious and remarkable but truthful and authentic details which have
descended to him by and through his fathers, who were men of learning
and renown in the countries they inhabited and among the peoples with
whom they dealt and had intercourse.
Hear ye, O, my brothers, and harken unto the wise sayings I am about to
send forth for thy help and satisfaction. For thus it was I was
commanded by my ancestor, through his sons my fathers, to keep with
great safety and accuracy this historical account of various and divers
exploits by him and by them accomplished, that is to say:
* * * * *
By way of salutation then:
Know ye there was a time when the earth was liquid, and so it ever would
have remained but for the following circumstances.
A mighty fish swam in the midst of the waters and his length was so
great it was curved half way round the globe; so that by constantly
swimming in this manner his backbone had become fixed in a half circle.
About this time there descended from Jupiter a man of mammoth stature,
so tall, in fact, when he stood within the ocean his head and shoulders
protruded above the surface. He had scarcely taken a hasty survey above
the tumultuous waves when this gigantic fish observed him and, being
almost famished (for it had eaten up all the other fish many months
before), it smacked its huge jaws with such relish and vehemence the
attention of this man (who, by the way, was my great, great, great,
great, great, great, great, great, grandfather) was attracted toward
him. But my ancestor took very little care of his adversary, knowing
well his power to undo him at the proper time.
And so it happened when this great fish had approached with consummate
stealth and was about to seize its prey, grandfather grasped the top of
a high mountain and tipped the earth over so that all the water ran off.
Then it was the curvature of the fish’s spine was his destruction; for
the waters being removed, so great was the weight of his body and so
rigid his spine he broke entirely in two and immediately succumbed.
My grandfather at once took from him his skin which he neatly dressed
and dried in the sun and ever afterward used as a horn to call his hosts
together from the four quarters of the sky; which he immediately did and
peopled the earth which was now dry and green and exceedingly fair to
behold.
* * * * *
By way of prelude then.
In those old days when the world was peopled with giants there became
classes and clans, or tribes, as they were then known, each of which was
composed of the descendants of one man, and they were all such a merry
lot life was considered a most excellent thing indeed.
One day my grandfather, to whom I have alluded in my salutation, went up
to the North Pole. There he learned the cause of the change of seasons,
and finding it exceedingly cold conceived a joke he would play upon his
tribe. Thereupon he filled his horn full of the northern air and carried
it back.
Now it happened the day on which he returned was bath day and the whole
tribe was bathing in the lake. When he was within such distance he could
put the mouth of the horn to the edge of the lake he did so and blew
softly upon it.
The lake was immediately covered by a coat of ice upon which the people
at once stood, for the water was becoming so cold they could not stay in
it. He continued to blow on the horn and the people got so cold they
began to shrivel up, and had he not at last blown all the cold out of
this horn they would have shrunken into mere nothing. As it was they
were so small he had to look several times to discover where they were,
and he put the whole tribe in the pocket of his overcoat and carried
them to his tent. He tried hard to warm them up and bring them back to
their normal size, but it was impossible.
Thus it came about that this tribe became the forefathers of what are
now called Pigmies and Dwarfs, and their mixture with the giants
produced the present stature of the people of the earth.
* * * * *
By way of interlude then.
There was a time when the complexion of the people of the earth was red
and they had bright red hair and beards; and it would have been so unto
this day had not the following occurred:
There was a very warm spring in which certain of the family or tribe
loved to sport. How it came about, except that some subterranean stream
had broken out immediately beneath the lake, it was never known; but so
it was while they were all in bathing and another tribe was looking on,
the water became fiercely black and very hot. They hastened to the
shore, and when they got up out of the water they were all black as
midnight and the tribe on the shore became so transfixed with fear their
countenances, hair, and beard changed to an absolute white. All the
efforts of the medical force failed to change the first tribe from black
or the second tribe from white back to their usual color.
The white tribe held a great caucus and they came in great numbers to
debate the occurrence, and thus they came to be called Caucusions or
Caucasians.
And so it was there came to be variations not alone in the complexion of
the peoples of the earth, but in the hue of their hair and beard.
* * * * *
By way of postlude then.
So it was the mixture of tribes brought about a kind or class of people
with eyes so tender and delicate the light of the sun worked them great
inconvenience. They were people with pinkish-hued eyes and skin, with
hair exceedingly light in color.
Owing to this their affliction they were the ones who were employed to
dig wells, as they were thus freed from the attacks of the rays of the
sun.
Now it happened one day while they were down a great depth digging a
well the auger slipped from their hands and they listened and heard it
strike something far down within the earth.
At first they were much astonished; but being a very inquisitive people
they set about investigating the matter. One of them peered through the
hole and suddenly rose upon his feet exclaiming he saw daylight. They
hastened to the surface and told the people they had dug clear through
the earth. But they were not believed, and vast numbers went into the
well to look at the other side of the earth, and one philosopher was in
high and brilliant feather, for he had maintained most vigorously the
earth was flat, though many had told him they had been entirely around
it and knew it could not be so. Yet he insisted, because the surface of
the other side was likewise diversified, they had been led into a
mistake.
Then happened a very astonishing thing. The next day there were gathered
in the well as many as could well stand on the bottom of it of this
people with the pink eyes, and so great was their excitement they jumped
up and down, when the bottom suddenly gave way, and down these people
went. They were sure they would be killed or fly out into space and
never get back, one and all, but the bottom of the well struck on a soft
and yielding soil and they were not harmed in the least.
But those who had not been down in the well at the time were filled with
sorrow and despair and made long lines and dropped them down. At last
they felt a tugging at a line, and on pulling it up, along with it came
one of their fellows to their great joy.
This rescued one told delightful and beautiful stories about a land
which had a delicious twilight always; was filled with sweet streams and
odorous lakes; where large trees grew bearing excellent fruit; where
were flocks of sheep of a peculiar kind, but very tender and juicy, and
other animals equally fit to sustain life.
Such effect had these stories, that with one accord all the pink-eyed
people descended into this new country.
In course of time it became a custom with them to celebrate their
release from torture, and at such times they made great fires at the
mouths of winding natural wells which led to the surface of the earth.
Now, these fires were so fierce because of the draught they melted the
sides of the holes and the suction carried the molten matter out into
the air.
So it was volcanoes came to be used as a token of joy, as well as to
communicate to the people of the earth above that these people were not
only still in existence but exceedingly and gloriously happy.
Occasionally some of these people come up onto the earth on visits and
they are termed Albinos.
And these people have a great many drinks which they store in great
caverns by air pressure, using great electric engines for the purpose of
forcing it to all parts of their realm. Once in a while the people of
the earth bore down into one of these reservoirs and there spurts up one
of these drinks. They are called mineral springs.
* * * * *
By way of finale then.
I am aware, according to the tradition as remitted to future generations
by one of my grandfathers, the different seasons are due to the tipping
of the earth by one of our ancestors prying over the North Pole. But
there is a tradition which comes down my mother’s side of the family,
which is so logical and so true to nature and man it deserves a place in
the archives of our history. I will therefore be pardoned for inserting
it here. I have had reverence at all times for the veracity of the
historical account to which I allude, and I desire it understood at the
outset I pass no judgment on it, but leave the matter to the reader’s
acumen and discernment to distinguish and decide between them.
One of the great-grandfathers of my wife (in fact, I believe it was her
remote ancestor, who of course must have been related to my remote
ancestor) made weekly trips into space.
Now it so happened when leaving the earth on such occasions he did so by
way of the North Pole—it may have been the south pole, for our language
at that date was so meager it is impossible to discover any real
distinction between the word which stands for “north” and the word
representing “south,” and I am inclined to think at that early date it
had not become necessary to make any distinction between the two
directions, as the inhabitants were then hardly conscious of direction
at all.
But be that as it may, the Pole projected a great distance into space,
so that he could run out upon it and use it as a spring-board to gain
momentum in starting on his journey.
And so it was one night while on earth in sleep he divulged the fact he
had taken to himself another wife in one of the other planets, which
knowledge so enraged his wife she went forth in search for a suitable
instrument for cracking his skull. While she was gone a servant awoke
him and gave him the above information. He, well knowing the capacity of
his better half, conceived it a wise plan, a very wise plan indeed, to
start on one of his journeys, which he lost no time in doing; but just
before he reached the Pole, on glancing over his shoulder he observed
his irate spouse coming after him at a tremendous rate, which so
accelerated his speed that he made such a terrific spring from the Pole
the earth was thrown out of plumb, and it has so remained to this day.
And the narration concludes with the information, which may be safely
regarded as remarkably accurate, that his wife was so put out by his
escape she vented her spite by hacking viciously at the Pole, which she
thumped so heartily she loosened the masses of ice thereabouts, which
immediately began to slide toward the middle of the earth, and have so
continued to do down to this date, and they are now termed “icebergs,”
“glaciers,” and the like.
* * * * *
By way of ending then.
I wish to impress upon him to whom this document shall descend it will
always be found in company with a document written and compiled by one
of my fathers, and no change must be made in the same, not so much as in
a single word, for no one could be possessed of sufficient knowledge so
to do properly and might by so doing convey an erroneous impression to
future generations.
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