Li Ur, a giant, who was the son of Li Ing, who was the son of Tru
Thless, who was the son of Fal Seh Ood, who was the son of Pur Jur Ri,
who was the son of Fa Kir, who lived about the time of the Great Flood
on the Earth, who was the son of Fa Bel, who was the son of Ka In, the
patriarch, sends greetings to all students of the World, and, therefore,
of its history, and begs all will take heed, meditate upon, ponder over
and deeply consider the following tidbits of knowledge, information and
belief gathered from the writings of my fathers.
Hear ye, therefore, and profit by the utterances which have to do with
nothing but authenticated and undoubted verbatim reports made by expert
stenographers who took the words as they fell from the lips of my
ancestors. So great was the rapidity with which they were spoken and so
swift the writers aforesaid, many volumes were spoken and transcribed in
a few moments of time.
_First Narrative_
The first of my narrations is in the words and figures following, to
wit, that is to say:
In the days when there was no hurt within, upon, around, about, over and
under, in or out of the land, the sea, the clouds, or the air there was
a giant who was my remote ancestor. This giant, whose name was Ka In,
was a harvester of grain and like seeds. It so happened after laboring
morning, noon and evening for about a thousand years his mind was
impressed with the terrific thought he would probably be compelled to
continue so doing throughout eternity if some change were not determined
upon and put into execution; for there was but one kind or quality or
state of weather upon all the land from one year’s end to another year’s
end. There was also no rain during which he might rest; just so soon as
one crop came to maturity another started and demanded his attention.
There was also no winter during which he might recuperate his wasted
strength and energies.
So he sat down upon the threshing machine and thought and thought and
thought and thought. Then did he rise up with much determination showing
about the edges of his countenance and move rapidly toward the North
Pole; for he loved the stars and knew them all by name. He put a great
lever against the Pole and heaved away with all his massive power and
tipped the Pole over so that it should not all the time point at the
same spot in the sky and that the sun should not always shine upon the
plains.
Thus it was he had rest one-half the year.
This so amazed the other inhabitants of the earth they were utterly
unable to comprehend it and would never have known what had produced the
change from one season to four had not Ka In got into an argument with
his brother in which he let the cat out of the bag. When he found his
brother had told what he had said to his wife he one day caught him out
in the field kindling a fire and making an offering to his deity, and
caused him to stop breathing for the remainder of his natural life.
_Second Narrative_
The second narration is even more wonderful, and it relates to this same
ancestor, who was a man of renowned achievement.
It came about in the manner following: That he was so much put out by
the stories which had got afloat through the wife of his brother he
froze the earth up solid with the icy glance of his scornful eye. And
when the people roundabout made as if to believe this was the best thing
that had happened to them for several hundred years he became so heated
with his anger and made such violent use of such warm language the fever
of his breath melted all the ice suddenly, both that upon the earth—for
the waters of the deep were under the ice and carnivals were daily being
held to his great displeasure—but in the clouds, which were solid chunks
of frozen moisture held rigidly in the sky. And so it was that the air
was full of great rain and the earth was flooded thereby, and no one
escaped but Fa Kir, who hastened to the North Pole and builded him a
house upon it at such a distance from the earth the water did not reach
him, the remains of which still exist to this day as proof of this
historical account.
_Third Narrative_
[Illustration]
Ah! But there were giants in the days of my grandfather, Fa Bel. They
towered in the air and shook the ground with their tread. And such eyes.
When love kindled in their hearts their eyes shone with such brilliancy
and power the objects of their affection would have been consumed but
for their artfulness; they instantly fell to weeping and such torrents
of water fell there were formed rivulets, so to speak, between their
lovers and themselves. This would not have been sufficient to protect
them from utter destruction had not the fiery glances changed the water
into an impenetrable mist which preserved them.
Others were still more artful—those with cold hearts—and always carried
large plates of brass so finely polished as to be perfect reflectors. By
means of these they sent the glances back with such increased power (for
they were concave) the giants beat a hasty and precipitate retreat.
Each hair of the beards of these giants was of the size of large twine.
Upon one occasion my grandfather, Fa Bel, dropped his false teeth into a
well several hundred feet deep. He was in much despair, for they were a
new thing in those days and he had become so accustomed to them he would
not do without them. My grandmother told him to cut off his beard and
she would weave it into a rope by which he could descend into the well
and recover his loss. This he agreed to and was soon happy again.
But he was so much improved in appearance by the removal of his beard,
had not the other men observed the state of affairs and also cut off
their beards, there might have been grievous trouble in all the land;
for had these men gone to war their bulk was so great and their voices
so strong the shock of conflict would have burst the earth into pieces.
This was the beginning of the custom of shaving the face, which became
prevalent in all lands, and also of the cutting of the hair of men.
_Fourth Narrative_
His sons and daughters were so impressed by this story they sought to
provide against another such evil day; and they set about it in this
wise.
They went upon a great mountain and raised up a marvelous tower which
reached into and through the land of the skies. When it was completed
there was joy and thanksgiving, which was all quickly turned to sorrow
when it was discovered that this pinnacle gave ready vent for the
electricity in the clouds, which came down this shaft with such force it
not only paralyzed all their tongues but their brains also, and caused
them to forget all the words they had ever used. And they ran away, one
by one, to hide, and when they came forth they knew not father or
mother, brother, or sister, or friend; and so each was compelled to
start a new race; but it also caused the great steeple to crumble and
fall away and the winds blew it all into the sea.
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