_Or Lament over the Acts and State of the Duke of Atholl._
After Scott.
He has shut up the mountain,
He has locked up the forest,
He has bunged up the fountain,
When our need was the sorest;
The traveller stirring
To the North, may dogs borrow;
But the Duke gives no hearing,
No pass--but to sorrow.
The hand of the tourist
Grasps the carpet-bag grimly,
But a face of the dourest
Frowns through the Glen dimly.
The autumn winds, rushing,
Stir a kilt of the queerest,
Duke and gillies come crushing
Where pleasure is nearest!
Queer foot on the corrie,
Oddly loving to cumber--
Give up this odd foray,
Awake from your slumber!
Take your ban from the mountain,
Take your lock from the river,
Take your bolt from the fountain,
Now at once, and for ever!
* * * * *
[Illustration: The sad fate of our only ham.--The pursuit.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A RARA MONGRELLIS
_Tourist._ "Your dog appears to be deaf, as he pays no attention to me."
_Shepherd._ "Na, na, sir. She's a varra wise dog, for all tat. But she
only speaks Gaelic."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "IN FOR IT"
_Innocent Tourist._ "No fish to be caught in Loch Fine now? And how do
you support yourself?"
_Native._ "Whiles she carries parcels, and whiles she raws people in ta
poat, and whiles a shentleman 'ull give her a saxpence or a shillin'!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A BLANK DAY
_The Keeper_ (_to Brown, who rents the forest_). "Doon wi' ye! Doon wi'
ye! Get ahint a stang!"
_Brown_ (_out of temper--he had been "stalking" about all the morning,
and missed several times_). "Yes, it's all very well to say 'Get behind
a stone.' But show me one!--show me one!!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: Mr. Punch passes a night at McGillie Cullum Castle.]
[Illustration: The Laird, as a delicate compliment, serenades him.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A BAD SEASON
_Sportsman._ "I can assure you, what with the rent of the moor, and my
expenses, and 'what not,' the birds have cost me--ah--a sovereign
apiece!!"
_Keeper._ "A' weel, sir! 'Deed it's a maircy ye didna kill na mair o'
'em!!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: CANDID
_Sportsman._ "Boy, you've been at this whiskey!"
_Boy_ (_who has brought the luncheon-basket_). "Na! The cooark wadna
come oot!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "UNCO CANNY"
_Noble Sportsman._ "Missed, eh?"
_Cautious Keeper._ "Weel, a' wadna gang quite sae faur as to say that;
but a' doot ye hay'na _exactly_ hit."]
* * * * *