The dull leaden skies are all clouded
In the gloom of a sad weeping day,
The desolate mountains are shrouded
In palls of funereal grey;
'Mid the skirl of the wild wintry weather
The torrents descend in a sheet
As we shiver all huddled together
In the reek of the smouldering peat.
A plague on the Highlands! to think of
The heat that but lately we banned;
Oh! what would we give for a blink of
The bright sunny side of the Strand!
To think there are folk that still revel
In Summer, and fling themselves down,
In the Park, or St. James? What the d----
Possessed us to hurry from town?
* * * * *
"OUT OF TUNE AND HARSH."--_First Elder_ (_at the Kirk "Skellin'"_). "Did
ye hear Dougal? More snorin' in the sermon?"
_Second Elder_, "Parefec'ly disgracefu'! He's waukened 's a'!"
* * * * *
[Illustration: OVERHEARD IN THE HIGHLANDS
_First Chieftain._ "I say, old chap, what a doose of a bore these games
are!"
_Second Chieftain._ "Ah, but, my dear boy, it is this sort of thing that
has made us Scotchmen _what we are!!_"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "SERMONS IN STONES"
_Tourist_ (_of an inquiring and antiquarian turn_). "Now I suppose,
farmer, that large cairn of stones has some history?"
_Highland Farmer._ "Ooh, aye, that buig o' stanes has a gran' history
whatever!"
_Tourist_ (_eagerly_). "Indeed! I should like to----What is the
legend----?"
_Farmer._ "Just a gran' history!" (_Solemnly._) "It took a' ma cairts
full and horses sax months to gather them aff he land and pit them
ther-r-re!!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: JETSAM AND FLOTSAM
Smith being shut out from the Continent this year, takes a cottage ornee
on Dee-Side. Scotland. The children are sent up first. The house is
described as "conveniently furnished"--they find it so!]
* * * * *
[Illustration: IN THE WILDS OF THE NORTH.
_Hungry Saxon_ (_just arrived, with equally hungry family_). "Well,
now--er--what can you give us for dinner, as soon as we've had a wash?"
_Scotch Lassie._ "Oh, jist onything!"
_H. S._ (_rubbing his hands in anticipation_). "Ah! Now we'll have a
nice juicy steak."
_Lassie._ "A--weel. We'll be haein' some steak here maybe by the boat i'
the morn's morn!"
_H. S._ (_a little crestfallen_). "Oh--well--chops then. We'll say
mutton chops."
_Lassie._ "Oh, ay, but we've no been killin' a sheep the day!"
[_Ends up with boiled eggs, and vows to remain at home for the future._
]
* * * * *