This is a much changed version of "A Five Minute Problem Play,"
originally given at the Liberal Club, New York City, in 1913.
_Boundless blue space. Two celestial figures stand in front of it,
talking. One of them carries a pointer, such as is used in class-room
demonstrations at the blackboard. The other has a red-covered guidebook
under his arm_.
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE (_the one with the pointer_) Well, I
think that is all. You've seen everything now.
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE (_the One With the guidebook_) It has all
been very interesting, and I don't know how to thank you for the
trouble you've taken.
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. Don't mention it. That's my business, you
know--to show young and curious Spirits what there is to see in the
universe. And I must say that you've been an exceptionally patient
pupil. I don't usually take as much time with youngsters as I have with
you. But when I find someone as interested in the universe as you are,
I don't mind spending a few more eons on the job. We've been all
around, this trip. I don't believe we've missed anything of any
importance. But if there is anything else you can think of that you'd
like to see--
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE. (_hesitantly_) Well, there is one
place . . . It's only mentioned in a footnote in the guide-book, but
for that very reason I thought perhaps--
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. You have the right attitude. There's
nothing too small or insignificant to know about. Do you remember the
name of the place?
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE. No, but--(_He turns the leaves of the
guide-book_.) Here it is. (_He holds the book closer so as to read
the fine print at the bottom of the page_.) Earth, it's called.
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. Ah, yes, there is such a place. . . .
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE. The guide-book doesn't give any
information about it. Just mentions its name.
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. Well, there isn't very much to say about
it. After what you've seen, you wouldn't be impressed by its art or its
architecture, . . . Still, it has one curious feature that perhaps
you'd be interested in. It's--
_He pauses_.
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE. Yes?
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. Perhaps I had better just show you, and let
you make what you can of it.
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE. (_deferentially_) As you say.
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. Here, then--look for yourself!
_He raises the pointer, and boundless space rolls up like a curtain,
disclosing a comfortable drawing-room. The two celestial figures stand
aside and look. A man and woman are sitting on a sofa, kissing each
other. From time to time, in intervals between the kisses, they
speak_.
THE MAN. No! No! I must not!
_But he does_.
THE WOMAN. No! No! We must not!
_But they do_.