Tom and the carryall at length appeared, and Professor Owlsdarck, in a
new suit of black clothes, in which the lately folded creases were very
perceptible, came forth a sort of musty bridegroom out of his chamber,
and rejoiced as a strong statistician to run his appointed race. Kate
and I thought it best to diminish the final bustle of departure by
lingering on the piazza just before the open door, where we could easily
add our parting good-wishes, when he succeeded in getting out of the
house. For there seemed to be some trouble in putting the Professor,
with as little "tumbling" as possible, into his narrow overcoat, and
then in finding his lecture, which had dropped under the table during
the operation, and then in recovering his spectacles from the depths of
some obscure pocket. Although Colonel Prowley had wellnigh exhausted the
language of jubilant enthusiasm, I managed, while helping Professor
Owlsdarck into the carryall, to express a respectful interest in his
success. Yet, while the words were on my lips, I could not but remember
what Strype had said in the morning, and admit the great likelihood of
its truth. And although beginning to feel pretty nervous as the time
drew near for my own sacrifice, I congratulated myself upon a
preparation in accordance with the modern demands of a lyceum audience.
With a pleasant sense of superior sagacity to this far more learned
candidate for popular favor, I proposed, instead of returning to the
house, to take an hour's stroll by the river, and go thence to the Town
Hall at the appointed time.
"The very thing I was going to suggest," said Kate, "for I don't feel
like talking. My mind is so full of excitement about your poem that
ordinary conversational proprieties are almost impossible."
Our host, with true courtesy, permitted us to do as we pleased, merely
saying that he would reserve the seat next him for my wife, so that we
need not arrive till it was time to commence the performance.
"But you are going to forget your manuscript!" he pleasantly added.
"See, it lies on the entry-table with your gloves and overcoat."
Of course there was no danger of doing anything of the sort, for a
memorandum to take good care of _that_ had printed itself in the largest
capitals upon the tablets of memory. I did feel disagreeably, however,
when my old friend, in handing it to me, looked wistfully at the neat
case of polished leather in which it was securely tied. It was, indeed,
painful to disappoint both in subject and style of composition the kind
interest with which he waited my appearance before an audience of his
townsmen. The only antidote to such regrets was the reflection that I
had prepared what would be most likely to cause the ultimate
satisfaction of all parties; for his mortification at my general
unpopularity and consequent defeat would of course have been greater
than any personal satisfaction he might have experienced in the dry and
antique matter accordant with his peculiar taste. I essayed some
cheerful remark, as the shining packet slipped into my breast-pocket,
and I buttoned my coat securely across the chest, that I might be
continually conscious that the important contents had not dropped out.
"Remember, I shall be on the second settee from the platform; for I
would not willingly lose the slightest word," was the farewell
exclamation of Colonel Prowley.
"You are too good, Sir," I answered, as we turned from the house; "I may
always count upon your kind indulgence, and perhaps more of it will be
claimed this evening than your partiality leads you to suspect."
"And now," said I to Kate, when we were fairly out of hearing, "let us
dismiss for the last hour this provoking poem, and forget that there are
lyceum-lectures, Indian doctors, and General Courts in this beautiful
world."
Of course I never suspected that we could do anything of the kind, but I
thought an innocent hypocrisy to that effect might beguile the time yet
before us. Kate acquiesced; and we walked along a wooded path where
every stone and shrub was rich in associations with that first summer in
Foxden when our acquaintance began. And soon our petty anxiety was
merged in deeper feelings that flowed upon us, as the great event in our
mortal existence was seen in the retrospect from the same pleasant
places where it once loomed grandly before us. The sweet, fantastic
anticipations that pronounced the "All Hail, Hereafter," to the great
romance of life again started from familiar objects to breathe a freer
atmosphere. The coming fact, which all natural things once called upon
us to accept as the final resting-place of the soul, had passed by us,
and we could look onward still. We saw that marriage was not the
satisfaction of life, but a noble means whereby our selfish infirmities
might be purified by divine light. Well for us that this Masque and
Triumph of Nature should not always be seen as from the twentieth year!
It is too cheap a way to idealize and ennoble self in the noontide sun
of one marriage-day. Yet let the gauze and tinsel be removed when they
may; for all earnest souls there are realities behind them that shall
make the heavens and earth seem accidents. It once seems as if marriage
would discolor the world with roseate tint; but it does better: it
enlightens it. Thus, in imagination, did we sally backward and forward
as the twilight thickened about us. In delicious sympathy of silence we
watched quivering shadows in the water, and marked how the patient elms
gathered in their strength to endure the storms of winter.
"It is not a lottery," I said, at last, unconsciously thinking aloud.
"No," responded Kate; "it was so christened of old, because our shrewd
New-Englanders had not made possible a better simile. It is like one of
the great Gift Enterprises of these latter years, where everybody is
sure of his money's worth in book or trinket, and is surprised by a
present into the bargain. The majority, to be sure, get but their bit of
soap or their penny-whistle, while a fortunate few are provided with
gold watches and diamond breast-pins."
I thought this a good comparison; but I did not say so, for I was in the
mood to rise for my analogy or allegory, instead of swooping to pick it
out of Mr. Perham's advertisements.
"Nay, nay, my dear," I rejoined, at length; "let us, who have won
genuine jewelry, exalt our gains by some nobler image. A stagnant puddle
of water may reflect the blessed sun even better than this river that
eddies by our feet, yet it is not there that one likes to look for it."
"Perhaps it is the farthest bound of reaction from transcendentalism,
that causes us, when we do think a free thought, to look about for
something grimly practical to fasten it upon," argued Kate, smilingly.
"Yet I do not quite agree with the reason of my Aunt Patience for
devoting herself to the roughest part of gardening. A taste for flowers,
she contends, is legitimate only when it has perfected itself out of a
taste for earth-worms. There are truly thoughts only to be symbolized by
sunset colors and the song of birds, that are better than if mortared
with logic and based as firmly as the Pyramids."
The fatal word "Pyramids" sent us flying through the ages till we
reached the tombs of the Pharaohs, whence we came bounding back again
through Grecian civilization, mediæval darkness, and modern
enlightenment, till we naturally stopped at Professor Owlsdarck and the
carryall, by this time nearing Wrexford. My own literary performance, so
associated with that of the Professor, next occupied our attention, and
we realized the fact that it was time to be moving slowly in the
direction of the Town Hall.
"Don't let us get there till just the hour for commencing," said I,
endeavoring to restrain the quickened step of my companion.
And I quoted the ghastly merriment of the gentleman going to be hung, to
the effect that there was sure to be no fun till he arrived.
We said nothing else, but indulged in a very definite sort of wandering
by the river's bank,--I nervously looking at my watch, occasionally
devouring a troche, and patting my manuscript pocket, or, to make
assurance doubly sure, touching the polished surface of the case within.
We timed it to a minute. At exactly half-past seven o'clock, I proceeded
up the broad aisle of the Town Hall, put my wife into the place reserved
with the Prowley party upon settee number two from the platform, and
mounted the steps of that awful elevation amid general applause.
The President of the Young Men's Gelasmiphilous Society, who occupied a
chair at the right of the desk, came forward to receive me, and we shook
hands with an affectation of the most perfect ease and naturalness.
Here, a noisy satisfaction, as of boys in the gallery, accompanied by a
much fainter enthusiasm among their elders below.
"You are just in time," whispered the President. "I was afraid you would
be too late; we always like to begin punctually."
"I am all ready," said I, faintly; "you may announce me immediately."
I subsided into the orator's chair, and glanced, for the first time, at
my audience. The Young Men, somehow or other, did not appear so numerous
as I had hoped. On the other hand, Dr. Dastick, and a good many friends
of eminently scientific character, loomed up with fearful distinctness.
Even the malleable element of youth seemed to harden by the side of that
implacable fibre of scholastic maturity which was bound to resist my
most delicate manipulation. I withstood, with some effort, the
stage-fright that was trying to creep over me, and hastily snatched the
manuscript from my pocket. Yes, I must have been confused, indeed; for
here is the string round the case tied in a hard knot, and I could have
taken my oath that I fastened it in a very loose bow! I picked at it,
and pulled at it, and humored it in every possible way, but the plaguy
thing was as fast as ever. At last--just as the President was
approaching the conclusion of his remarks, and had got as far as, "_I
shall now have the pleasure of introducing a gentleman who_," etc.,
etc.--I bethought myself of a relief quite as near at hand as that key
which Faithful held in his bosom during his confinement in Doubting
Castle. My penknife was drawn to the rescue, and the string severed,
while the President, retiring to his chair, politely waved me to the
place he had occupied. Again great applause from the gallery, with
tempered applause from below. With as much unconcern as I could
conveniently assume, I advanced to the front, took a final survey of the
audience, laid my manuscript on the desk, turned back the cover, and
fixed my eyes upon the page before me.
How describe the nightmare horror that then broke upon my senses? Upon
the first page, in large, writing-master's hand, I had inscribed my
title:--"THE WHIMS OF NEW ENGLAND: A POEM." In its place, in still
larger hand, in lank and grisly characters, stared this hideous
substitute:--
"THE OBSEQUIES OF CHEOPS:
A LECTURE."
With that vivid rapidity with which varied and minute scenery is crowded
into a moment of despair, I perceived the fatal blunder. Owlsdarck and I
had changed manuscripts. Upon that entry-table where lay my poem, the
hurry and bustle of departure had for a moment thrown his lecture. The
cases being identical in appearance, he had taken up my unfortunate
production, which, doubtless, at that very moment, he was opening before
parents, trustees, and pupils connected with the Wrexford Academy. I
will not deny, that, in the midst of my own perplexity, a ghastly sense
of the ridiculous came over me, as I thought of the bewilderment of the
Professor. For an instant of time I actually knew a grim enjoyment in
the fact that circumstances had perpetrated a much better joke than any
in my poem. But my heart stopped beating as an impatient rumble of
applause testified that the desires of the audience were awaiting
gratification.
I glared upon the expectant faces before me; but they seemed to melt and
fuse into one another, or to dance about quite independently of the
bodies with which they should have been connected. I strove to murmur an
apology; but the words stuck in my throat.
More applause, in which a slight whistling flavor was apparent. A
kicking, as of cow-hide boots of juvenile proportions, audible from the
gallery. A suspicion of cat-calling in a monad state of development
about the door. Of course my prospects were ruined. My knees seemed
disposed to deposit their burden upon the floor. Hope was utterly
extinguished in my breast. There I stood, weak and contemptible, before
the wretched populace whose votes I had come to solicit. Then it was,
the resolution, or rather the _rage_, of despair inspired me. I
determined to take a terrible vengeance upon my abandoned constituents.
Quick as lightning the thought leaped to execution. I seized the
insufferable composition before me, and began to fulminate its sentences
at the democracy of Foxden.
"Fulminate" is expressive; but words like "roar" and "bellow" must be
borrowed to give the reader an idea of the vocal power put into that
performance. For it is a habit of our infirm natures to counteract
embarrassment by some physical exaggeration, which, by absorbing our
chief attention, leaves little to be occupied with the cause of
distress. Persons of extreme diffidence are sometimes able to face
society by behaving as if they were vulgarly at their ease, and men
troubled with a morbid modesty often find relief in acting a character
of overweening pride. Thus it was only by absorbing attention in the
effort to produce a very sensational order of declamation that I could
perform the task undertaken. Owlsdarck's handwriting was luckily large
and legible; and I was able to storm and gesticulate without hinderance.
I ploughed through the tough old homily, tossing up the biggest size of
words as if they were not worth thinking of. I went at the lamented
Cheops with a fearful enthusiasm. The air seemed heavy with a miasma of
information. It was not my fault, if every individual in the audience
did not feel personally sticky with the glutinous drugs I lavished upon
the embalmment. I was as profuse with my myrrh, cassia, and aloes, as if
those costly vegetable productions were as cheap as cabbages. I split up
a sycamore-tree to make an external shell, as if it were as familiar a
wood as birch or hemlock. At last, having got his case painted all over
with appropriate emblems, and Cheops himself done up in his final
wrapping, I struck a mighty blow upon the desk, which set the lamps
ringing and flaring in majestic emphasis.
It was at this point that the presence of an audience was once more
recalled to me. Enthusiastic applause, peal after peal, responded to my
efforts. I ventured to look out into the hall before me. Dr. Dastick was
thumping with energy upon the neighboring settee. The elders of Foxden
were leading the approbation, and a wild tattoo was resonant from the
gallery. The face of Colonel Prowley was aglow with satisfaction, and
the dear old gentleman actually waved his handkerchief as he caught my
eye. But my frightened, pale-faced Kate,--my first shudder returned
again as I met her gaze. Again I felt the sinking, prickling sensation
of being in for it. There was no resource but to charge at the
Professor's manuscript as vigorously as ever.
I now went to pyramid-making with the same zeal with which I had acted
as undertaker. Locks, parsley, and garlic, to the amount of one thousand
and sixty talents, were lavished upon the workmen. Stuffed cats and
sacred crocodiles were carried in procession to encourage them. Stones,
thirty feet long, were heaved out of quarries, and hieroglyphics chopped
into them with wonderful despatch. At last, after an hour and a half of
laborious vociferation, I managed to get the pyramid done and Cheops put
into it. A sort of dress-parade of authorities was finally called:
Herodotus, Tacitus, Diodorus Siculus, Strabo, Pliny, Solinus, and many
others, were fired in concluding volleys among the audience. I was
conscious of a salvo of clapping, pounding, and stamping that thundered
in reply. The last sentence had been uttered. Again the audience blurred
and danced before my eyes; I staggered back, and sank confused and
breathless into the orator's chair.
"Good, good," whispered the President. "It was a capital idea; ha, ha,
very funny! To hear you hammering away at Egyptian antiquities as if
you'd never thought of anything else! The elocution and gestures, too,
were perfectly tall;--the Young Men of our Society were delighted;--I
could see they were."
"Permit me to congratulate you, Sir," said Dr. Dastick, who had elbowed
his way to the platform. "I confess myself most agreeably disappointed
in your performance. There was in it a solidity of information and a
curiosity of important research for which I was totally unprepared. Let
me hope that such powers of oratory as we have heard this evening may
soon plead the cause of good learning in the legislature of our State."
"A good subject, my dear young friend, and admirably developed,"
exclaimed Colonel Prowley. "You have already won the palm of victory, if
I rightly read the faces of some who were too quick to endow you with
the common levity and indiscretion of youth."
"You have had success with young and old," said the Reverend Mr.
Clifton, kindly holding out his hand. "We have rarely lecturers who
seem to give such universal satisfaction."
After these congratulations, and others to the same purpose, the real
state of the case could no longer be hidden. Instead of the
mortification and defeat confidently expected, I had unwittingly made a
ten-strike upon that erratic set of pins, the Foxden public. The Young
Men, who knew me only as the [Greek: gelôtopoios], or laughter-maker, of
their merry association, considered the sombre getting up and energetic
delivery of the Cheops lecture the very best joke I had ever
perpetrated. Some of the most influential citizens, as has been already
seen, were personally gratified in the general dustiness of the subject;
while others, perchance, were able to doze in the consciousness that the
opinions of Cheops upon such disturbing topics as Temperance,
Anti-Slavery, and Woman's Rights must necessarily be of a patriarchal
and comforting character. But the glory of the unlooked-for triumph
seemed strangely lessened by the reflection that I had no just claim to
the funereal plumage with which I had so happily decked myself.
"Gentlemen," said I, "I ought to tell you that the address I have
delivered this evening is--in fact--is not original."
"That's just why we like it," rejoined Dr. Dastick. "No young man should
be original; it is a great impertinence, if he tries to be."
"I do not mean simply to acknowledge an indebtedness to the ancient
authorities quoted in the lecture; but--but, the truth is, that the
arrangement and composition cannot properly be called my own."
"Not the least consequence," said Colonel Prowler. "You showed a
commendable modesty in seeking the aid of any discreet and learned
person. You know I offered to give you what assistance was in my power;
but you found--unexpectedly, at the last moment, perhaps--some wiser
friend."
"Most unexpectedly,--at the very last moment," I murmured.
"As for originality," said the clergyman, pleasantly, "when you have
come to my age, you will cease to trouble yourself much about it. No man
can accomplish anything important without a large indebtedness to those
who have lived, as well as to those who live. We know that the old
fathers not only dared to lack originality, but even to consider times
and peoples in their selection and treatment of topics. _Non quod
sentiunt, sed quod necesse est dicunt_, may be said of them in no
disparagement. For, not to mention others, I might quote Cyprian,
Minutius, Lactantius, and Hilarius,"----
"Anything hilarious is as much out of place in a lecture as it would be
in a sermon," interrupted Dr. Dastick, who had evidently missed the
drift of his pastor's remarks. "And I rejoice that the success of our
friend who has spoken this evening rebukes those vain and shallow
witlings who have sometimes degraded the lyceum. I could send such
fellows to make sport in the courts of luxurious princes, for they may
well follow after jousts, tourneys, stage-plays, and like sugar-plums of
Satan; as, indeed, we need them not in this Puritan commonwealth. But
come, all of you, for an hour, to my house; for I am mistaken, if there
be not in my cabinet many rare illustrations of the discourse we have
just heard. I have several bones by me, which, if they belonged not to
Cheops himself, may well be relics of his near relations. And as an
offset to their dry and wasted estate, I have some luscious pears which
are just now at full maturity."
Colonel Prowley and his party had small inclination to resist the
Doctor's invitation, and it was speedily agreed that the lecturer
(having, as we have seen, escaped consignment to European monarchs)
should have the privilege of mingling in the social life of Foxden for
the next hour or so.
"But you forget Professor Owlsdarck," I ventured to whisper to the
Colonel. "I must see him the instant he returns. That is--I am very
impatient to hear of his success. I cannot let him arrive at your
house, if I am not there to meet him."
My host stared a little at this impetuosity of interest, and then
informed me that the carryall from Wrexford must necessarily pass
Dastick's house, and that he himself would run out and stop it and bring
in the Professor.
"No," I exclaimed, with energy; "promise that I may go out and receive
Owlsdarck alone, or I cannot go to Dr. Dastick's."
"I doubt if there would be any precedent for this," argued the Colonel,
gravely.
"Then we must make one," I asserted. "For surely nothing is more
appropriate than that a lecturer, returning from his exercise, whether
in triumph or defeat, should be first encountered by some brother of the
craft who can have adequate sympathy with his feelings."
After some demur, Colonel Prowley consented to adopt this view of the
case; and we passed out of the hot lecture-room into the still, fresh
night. Here Kate took my arm and we managed for an instant to lag behind
the crowd.
"I am not mad yet," I said, "though when I began that extraordinary
lecture you must have thought me so."
"For a few moments," replied my wife, "I was utterly bewildered; but
soon, of course, I guessed the explanation. You appeared before the
Foxden audience with Professor Owlsdarck's lecture."
"And he appeared with my poem before the audience in Wrexford."
"Good Heavens!" exclaimed Kate, "I never thought of that part of it!"
"Yet that is _the_ part of it of which it behooves us to think just at
present," I replied. "To my utter amazement, there has been something,
either in the Professor's wisdom or in my rendering of it, that has
_taken_ with the audience. Not knowing what Owlsdarck has done, or may
wish to do, I have not explained the humiliating and ridiculous
blunder,--though I have stoutly denied myself any credit for the
information or composition of the lecture."
"But the Professor couldn't have read your poem at Wrexford?"
"Two hours ago I should have thought it so impossible, that only one
thing in the world would have seemed to me more so, and that was that I
should have read his lecture in Foxden. But, luckily, I have permission
to stop the carryall on its way back, and so meet Owlsdarck before he
comes into the house. Let us keep the secret for the present, and wait
further developments."
As others of the party had begun to look back, and to linger for us to
come up, there was no opportunity for further conference. And so we made
an effort, and talked of everything but what we were thinking of, till
we reached Dr. Dastick's house.
I was conscious of a sweet memory, while passing along the broad,
low-roofed piazza where I first met my wife. And I marvelled that fate
had so arranged matters, that, again in the moonlight, near that very
spot, I was to have an important interview with another person with whom
my destiny had become strangely entangled.
One sense was painfully acute while the relics and pears were being
passed about during the remainder of the evening. At any period I could
have heard the creak of the venerable carryall above the swarm of
information which buzzed about the Doctor's parlor. I responded to the
waggish raillery of the young men, talked _bones_ with their seniors,
disclaimed all originality in my lecture, thanked people for what they
said about my spirited declamation, and--through it all--listened
intently for the solemn rumble upon the Wrexford road. Time really
seemed to stop and go backward, as if in compliment to the ancient
fragments of gums, wrappages, and scarabæi that were produced for our
inspection. The carryall, I thought, must have broken down; Wrexford
had, perchance, been suddenly destroyed, like the Cities of the Plain;
the Professor had been tarred and feathered by the enraged inhabitants,
or, perhaps, had been murdered upon the road;--there was no limit to the
doleful hypotheses which suggested themselves.
And, in fact, it was now getting late to everybody. The last pear had
vanished, and people began to look at the clock. Colonel Frowley was
audibly wondering what could have detained the Professor, and Dr.
Dastick was expressing his regret at not having the pleasure of seeing
him, when,--no,--yes, a jerking trundle was heard in the distance,--it
was not the wind this time! I seized my hat, rushed from the house, and
paused not till I had stopped the carryall with the emphasis of a
highwayman.
"I have come to ask you to get out, Professor Owlsdarck," I exclaimed.
"Tom can drive the horse home; we're all at Dr. Dastick's, and they've
sent me to beg you to come in."
The occupant of the vehicle, upon hearing my voice, made haste to
alight. Tom gave an expressive "Hud up," and rolled away into the
moonlight.
"My dear Sir," said I, "no apology,--no allusion to how it happened; we
have both suffered quite enough. Only tell me what you managed to do
with my poem, and what the people of Wrexford have done to you."
"What did I do with your poem?" echoed the Professor,--there was an
undertone of humorous satisfaction in his words that I had never before
remarked,--"why, what could I do with it but read it to my audience?
They thought it was capital, and----Well, _I_ thought so, too. And if
you want to know what the trustees did to me, you will find it in print
in a day or two. The fact is, they called a meeting, after I finished,
and unanimously elected me Principal of their Academy."
I managed to get a few more particulars before entering the house, and
these, with other circumstances afterwards ascertained, made the
Professor's adventure to unravel itself thus: Owlsdarck had discovered
the change of manuscript about five minutes before he was expected to
speak. The audience had assembled, and (in view of the respect which
should appertain to the office for which he was an aspirant) he saw the
humiliation of disappointing the academic flock by a confession of his
absurd position. He glanced at the first page of my verses, and, seeing
that they commenced in a grave and solemn strain, determined to run for
luck, and make the best of them. Accordingly he began by saying, that,
instead of the usual literary address, he should read a new American
poem, which he trusted would prove popular and to the purpose. It turned
out to be very much to the purpose. The dismal Professor Owlsdarck.
giving utterance to the Yankee quips and waggery which I had provided,
took his audience by storm with amazement and delight. For the truth
was, as Strype had intimated in the morning, a formidable opposition had
arrayed itself against the Professor, which (while acknowledging the
claims of his profound learning) contended that he lacked sympathy with
the merry hearts of youth, a fatal defect in the character of a teacher.
Of course the entertainment of the evening filled all such cavillers
with shame and confusion. There was nothing to do but to own their
mistake, and to support the many-sided Owlsdarck with all enthusiasm.
Hence his unanimous election, and hence my infinite relief upon
reëntering the Doctor's house.
We determined to keep our own counsel, and thereupon ratified our
unintentional exchange of productions. I presented my poem to Professor
Owlsdarck, and he resigned in my favor all right, title, and interest in
Cheops and his Obsequies. We both felt easier after this had been done,
and walked arm-in-arm into Dr. Dastick's parlor, conscious of a
plethoric satisfaction strange to experience.
I need hardly allude to the indignation of the Foxden electors, when the
"Regulator" appeared the next morning with a bitter _critique_ of my
performance in the Town Hall. There is notoriously a good deal of
license allowed to opposition editors upon election-day. But to
ridicule a serious and erudite lecture as "a flimsy and buffooning
poem,"--there was, really, in this, a blindness of passion, a display of
impotent malice, an utter contempt for the common sense of subscribers,
to which the history of editorial vagaries seemed to furnish no
parallel. Of course, a libel so gross and atrocious not only failed of
its object, but drove off in disgust all decent remnants of the opposing
party which the lecture of the previous evening had failed to
conciliate.
And now I think it has been explained why I was chosen to represent
Foxden, and how my vote came to be so nearly unanimous. Whether I made a
good use of the lesson of that fifth of November it does not become me
to say. But of the success of the Principal of the Wrexford Academy in
the useful sphere of labor upon which he then entered I possess
undoubted evidence.
"Old Owlsdarck's a pretty stiff man. in school," exclaimed a chubby
little fellow in whom I have some interest, when he lately returned from
Wrexford to pass the summer vacation,--"Old Owlsdarck's a pretty stiff
man in school; but when he comes into the play-ground, you ought to hear
him laugh and carry on with the boys!"
A few seasons ago the Professor consented to repeat his famous poem upon
"The Whims of New England," and made the tour of the river-towns, and
several hundred dollars. He wrote me that he had received tempting
overtures for a Western excursion, which his numerous lyceum-engagements
at home compelled him to decline.
I have since faced many audiences, and long conquered the maiden
bashfulness of a first appearance. It is necessary to confess that my
topics of discourse have generally been of too radical a character to
maintain the unprecedented popularity of my first attempt. I don't mind
mentioning, however, that the manuscript wherewith I delighted the
people of Foxden is yet in my possession. And should there be among my
readers members of the Inviting Committee of any neighboring
Association, League, or Lyceum, they will please notice that I am open
to offers for the repetition of a highly instructive _Lecture: Subject,
The Obsequies of Cheops_.