My kind Amerrycain aquaintance--I musn't call him frend tho' he is
so werry free and social with me, for I hopes I knos my propper
place--has giwen me a long acount of his week at Brighton. It seems
as he was in grate luck, for it was Brighton Race Week, and he is
good enuff to say that, whatever diffrent opinyons the men of other
countries may find in regard to the warious customs and manners of our
grate but rayther rum nashun, they all agrees, with one acord, that a
English race-course is the prettyest and nicest thing of the sort that
the hole world can show. I rayther thinks as he dropt his money there,
but it couldn't have bin werry much, for it didn't have the least
effeck on his good temper. It seems as he got interdooced to some
sillybrated pusson who rites in papers and seemed to kno everythink,
but wot he wanted to kno was if I coud tell him what caused his
werry bad indijeshun, to which I at once replied, without a moment's
hesitashun, that it was probberbly owing to his being, wich he told
me he was, a sort of relashun of a real Common Councilman of the
Grand old Citty of London! at which he larfed quite hartily and said,
"Bravo, Mr. ROBERT, that's one to you!"
[Illustration]
He arterwards arsked me for the werry best place to go to, where he
coud have jest about a few hours quiet refleckshun all to hisself
without not nothink to disturb him; so I sent him to Marlow,
gentlemanly Marlow, if you please, with a letter to my old friend BILL
the Fisherman, and there, he told me arterwards, he had sich a luvly
day of it as he never rememberd having afore. He sat for fours ours in
a luvly Punt, in a bewtifool drizzlin rain, with lots of fish a biting
away, but he was much too much engaged to pay the least atenshun to
'em, and there wasn't not noboddy to bother him; so he sat there, and
thort out about the most himportentest ewent of his life; and when I
waited upon him at the "Grand Hotel" arterwards, I don't think as I
ewer seed a reel Gent, as he suttenly is, in such jolly good sperrits.
So, seeing how werry successfool I had been, I wentured to say to
him,--"And now, Sir, if you wants to see gentlemanly Marlow in quite
another aspic, and one that estonishes and delites all as sees it,
just take the 9:45 train from Paddington next Sunday, and, drectly
you gets there, go at wunce to the Lock, and there, for ours and ours
you will see sitch a sight of most ravishing bewty, combined with
helegance and hart, as praps no other spot in all the hole world
can show! Why, Sir," I said, "every time as the full Lock opens its
yawning gates, at the command of one of the principel hofficers of the
Tems Conserwancy, you will think of the Gates of Parrydice a hopening
for a excurshun of hundreds of the most bewtifoollest Angels as
ginerally lives there!" "Why, Mr. ROBERT," says the Amerrycain,
"your henthusiasm xcites my curosity, and I'll suttenly go, and," he
added, with almost a blushing smile, "I rayther thinks as I'll take a
companion with me."
And off he went on the follering Sunday, and didn't git back till
seven o'clock to dinner, and his fust words to me was,--"Mr. ROBERT,
you didn't in the least xagerate the bewty of the scene as you sent me
for to see--it was as strange and as lovely as a Faery Tail! I wasn't
at all surprised to see what Swells there was among 'em, and what
werry particklar attentions they paid to 'em, cos I reklek how My Lord
RANGDULF CHURCHILL slected that particklar spot, on henny particklar
fine Sunday, to seek that werry welcome and much wanted change from
his sewere Parlementary dooties, as he used wen he were ere among us
to rekquire, for I guess as there ain't sitch a sight to be seen not
nowheres else so well calklated to brighten a pore feller up who's
jest about done up with reel hard work." I didn't quite understand
what made my Amerrycain smile quite so slily as he finished his
rayther long speech, but he most certenly did, and then set to work at
his dinner.
He arterwards told me as how as he means to pay a wisit, when the
season begins, to our new Hotel at Monty Carlo, sumwheres in France,
and try his new system at the Tables, and if he suckseeds, as he knows
he shall, he will, praps, sum day tell me his secret, and then I shall
have to ask my gentlemanly Manager here to let me have a few weeks
there, and then I shan't want to do any more waiting! What a prospeck!