MARRIAGE.
LOVE.
"Love is the root of creation; God's essence; worlds without number
Lie in his bosom like children; he made them for this purpose only.
Only to love and to be loved again, he breathed forth his spirit
Into the slumbering dust, and upright standing, it laid its
Hand on its heart, and felt it was warm with a flame out of heaven."
--LONGFELLOW.
Love, that tender, inexplicable feeling which is the germinal essence of
the human spirit, is the rudimental element of the human soul. It is,
therefore, a Divine gift, a blessing which the Creator did not withdraw
from his erring children, when they were driven from a paradise of
innocence and loveliness into a world of desolation and strife. He left
it as an invisible cord by which to draw the human heart ever upward, to
a brighter home--the heavenly Eden. Love is the very essence of Divine
law, the source of inspiration, even the fountain of life itself. It is
spontaneous, generous, infinite. To its presence we are indebted for all
that is good, true, and beautiful in Art and Nature. It endows humanity
with countless virtues, and throws a mystic veil over our many faults.
It is this feeling, this immutable law, which controls the destiny of
the race. From its influence empires have fallen, scepters have been
lost. Literature owes to Love its choicest gems. The poet's lay is
sweeter when Cupid tunes the lyre. The artist's brush is truer when
guided by Love. Greece was the cradle of letters and art. Her daughters
were queens of beauty, fitted to inspire the Love of her noblest sons.
[Illustration: Fig. 96.]
The materialism of the nineteenth century has sought to degrade Love; to
define it as purely physical. The result has been a corresponding
degradation of art, and even literature has lost much of its lofty
idealism. Nudity has become a synonym of vulgarity; Love, of lust. "Evil
be to him who evil thinks." True Love never seeks to degrade its object;
on the contrary, it magnifies every virtue, endows it with divinest
attributes, and guards its chastity, or honor, at the sacrifice of its
own life. It increases benevolence by opening the lover's heart to the
wants of suffering humanity. Ideality is the canvas, and imagination the
brush with which Love delineates the beauties of the adored. Love
heightens spirituality, awakens hope, strengthens faith, and enhances
devotion. It quickens the perceptions, intensifies the sensibilities,
and redoubles the memory. It augments muscular activity, and imparts
grace to every movement. The desire to love and to be loved is innate,
and forms as much a part of our being as bone or reason. In fact, Love
may be considered as the very foundation of our spiritual existence, as
bone and reason are the essential bases of our physical and intellectual
being. Every man or woman feels the influence of this emotion, sooner or
later. It is the Kadesh-barnea of human existence; obedience to its
intuitions insures the richest blessings of life, while neglect or
perversion enkindles God's wrath, even as did the disobedience of the
wandering Israelites.
The one great fact which pervades the universe is _action_. The very
existence of Love demands its activity, and, hence, the highest
happiness is attained by a normal and legitimate development of this
element of our being. The heart demands an object upon which to lavish
the largess of its affection. In the absence of all others, a star, a
flower, or even a bird, will receive this homage. The bird warbles a gay
answer to the well-known voice, the flower repays the careful cultivator
by displaying its richest tints, the star twinkles a bright "good
evening" to the lonely watcher, and yet withal there is an unsatisfied
longing in the lover's heart, to which neither can respond; the desire
to be loved! Hence, the perfect peace of reciprocated love. If its laws
are violated, nature seeks revenge in the utter depression or
prostration of the vital energies. Thus has the Divine Law-giver
engraven His command on our very being. To love is, therefore, a duty,
the fulfillment of which should engage our noblest powers.
This emotion manifests itself in several phases, prominent among which
is filial affection, the natural harmonizer of society. Paternal love
includes a new element--protection. Greater than either, and second only
in fortitude to maternal affection, is
CONJUGAL LOVE.
"He is blest in Love alone
Who loves for years and loves but one."--HUNT.
With Swedenborg, we may assert, "_that there is given love truly
conjugal, which at this day is so rare, that it is not known what it is,
and scarce that it is_." The same author has defined this relation to be
a union of Love and Wisdom. The fundamental law of conjugal love is
_fidelity to one love_. God created but one Eve, and the essential
elements of paternal and maternal love pre-suppose and necessitate, for
their normal development, the Love of _one_ only. Again, Love is the sun
of woman's existence. Only under its influence does she unfold the
noblest powers of her being. Woman's intuitions should therefore be
taken as the true love-gauge. If she desire a plurality of loves, it
must be a law of her nature; but is communism the desire of our wives
and daughters? No! Every act which renders woman dear to us, denounces
such an idea and reveals the exclusive sacredness of her Love. As
condemning promiscuity in this relation, we may cite the lovers' pledges
and oaths of fidelity, the self-perpetuity of Love itself, the common
instincts of mankind, as embodied in public sentiment, and the inherent
consciousness that first love should he kept inviolable forever. Again,
Love is conservative. It clings tenaciously to all the memories
connected with its first object. The scenes consecrated to "Love's young
dream" are sacred to every heart. The woodland with its winding paths
and arbors, the streamlet bordered with drooping violets and dreamy
pimpernel, the clouds, and even "the very tones in which we spoke," are
indelibly imprinted on the memory. There is also the "mine and thine"
intuition of love. This sentiment is displayed in every thought and act
of the lover. Every pleasure is insipid unless shared by the beloved;
selfish and exacting to all others, yet always generous and forgiving to
the adored. "Mine and thine, dearest," is the language of Conjugal Love.
The consummation desired by all who experience this affection, is the
union of souls in a true marriage. Whatever of beauty or romance there
may be in the lover's dream, is enhanced and spiritualized in the
intimate communion of married life. The crown of wifehood and maternity
is purer, more divine, than that of the maiden. Passion is lost; the
emotions predominate.
The connubial relation is not an institution; it was born of the
necessities and desires of our nature. "It is not good for man to be
alone," was the Divine judgment, and so God created for him "an
helpmate." Again, "Male and female created He them;" therefore, sex is
as divine as the soul. It is often perverted, but so is reason, aye, so
is devotion.
The consummation of marriage involves the mightiest issues of life. It
may be the source of infinite happiness or the seal of a living death.
"Love is blind" is an old saying, verified by thousands of ill-assorted
unions. Many unhappy marriages are traceable to one or both of two
sources, Physical Weaknesses and Masquerading. Many are the candidates
for marriage who are rendered unfit therefor from weaknesses of their
sexual systems, induced by the violation of well-established physical
laws.
We cannot too strongly urge upon parents and guardians the imperative
duty of teaching those youths who look to them for instruction, in all
matters which pertain to their future well-being such lessons as are
embraced in the chapter of this book entitled, "Hygiene of the
Reproductive Organs." By attending to such lessons as will give the
child a knowledge of the physiology and hygiene of his whole system, the
errors into which so many of the young fall, and much of the misery
which is so often the dregs of the hymeneal cup, will be avoided.
Masquerading is a modern accomplishment. Girls wear tight shoes,
burdensome skirts, and corsets, all of which prove very injurious to
their health. At the age of seventeen or eighteen, our young ladies are
sorry specimens of womankind, and "palpitators," cosmetics, and all the
modern paraphernalia of fashion are required to make them appear fresh
and blooming. Man is equally to blame. A devotee to all the absurd
devices of fashion, he practically asserts that "dress makes the man."
But physical deformities are of far less importance than moral
imperfections. Frankness is indispensable in love. Each should know the
other's faults and virtues. Marriage will certainly disclose them; the
idol falls and the deceived lover is transformed into a cold, unloving
husband or wife. By far the greater number of unhappy marriages are
attributable to this cause. In love especially, honesty is policy and
truth will triumph.
HISTORY OF MARRIAGE.
POLYGAMY AND MONOGAMY. We propose to give only a brief dissertation on
the principles and arguments of these systems, with special reference to
their representatives in the nineteenth century. Polygamy has existed in
all ages. It is, and always has been, the result of moral degradation or
wantonness. The Garden of Eden was no harem. Primeval nature knew no
community of love. There was only the union of two "and the twain were
made one flesh." Time passed; "the sons of God saw the daughters of men
that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose."
The propensities of men were in the ascendant, and "God repented Him
that He had created man." He directed Noah to take into the ark, two of
every sort, male and female. But "the imagination of man's heart is evil
from his youth," and tradition points to Polygamy as the generally
recognized form of marriage among the ancients. The father of the Hebrew
nation was unquestionably a polygamist, and the general history of
patriarchal life shows that a plurality of wives and concubines were
national customs. In the earlier part of Egyptian history, Menes is said
to have founded a system of marriage, ostensibly monogamous, but in
reality it was polygamous, because it allowed concubinage. As
civilization advanced, the latter became unpopular, and "although
lawful, was uncommon," while polygamy was expressly forbidden. Solomon,
according to polygamous principles, with his thousand women, should have
enjoyed a most felicitous condition. Strange that he exclaimed "A woman
among all these have I not found." According to the distinguished Rabbi,
Maimonides, polygamy was a Jewish custom as late as the thirteenth
century. When Cecrops the Egyptian King, came to Athens (1550, B.C.) he
introduced a new system, which proved to be another step toward the
recognition of Monogamy. Under this code a man was permitted to have one
wife and a concubine. Here dawned the era of Grecian civilization, the
glory of which was reflected in the social and political principles of
Western Europe. During the fourth and fifth centuries B.C., concubinage
disappeared, but, under the new regime, the condition of the wife was
degraded. She was regarded as simply an instrument of procreation and a
mistress of the household, while a class of foreign women, who devoted
themselves to learning and the fine arts, were the admired, and often
the beloved companions of the husbands. These were the courtesans who
played the same role in Athenian history, as did the chaste matron, in
the annals of Rome. When Greece became subject to Rome and the national
characteristics of these nations were blended, marriage became a loose
form of monogamy. In Persia, during the reign of Cyrus, about 560 B.C.,
polygamy was sustained by custom, law, and religion. The Chinese
marriage system was, and is, practically polygamous, for, from their
earliest traditions, we learn that although a man could have but one
wife, he was permitted to have as many concubines as he desired.
In the Christian era the first religious system which incorporated
polygamy as a principle was Mohammedanism. This system, which is so
admirably adapted to the voluptuous character of the Orientals, has
penetrated Western Europe, Asia, and Africa. Hayward estimated the
number of its adherents to be one hundred and forty millions. The heaven
of the Mohammedan is replete with all the luxuries which appeal to the
animal propensities. Ravishing Houris attend the faithful, who recline
on downy couches, in pavilions of pearl. On the Western Continent a
system of promiscuity was practiced by the Mexicans, Peruvians,
Brazilians, and the barbarous tribes of North America.
The Mormon Church was founded by Joseph Smith, and professes to be in
harmony with the Bible and a special revelation to its leading Saint.
According to the Mormon code, "Love is a yearning for a higher state of
existence, and the passions, properly understood, are feeders of the
spiritual life;" and again, "nature is dual; to complete his
organization a man must marry." The leading error of Mormonism is that
it mistakes a legal permission for a Divine command. The Mormon logic
may be premised as follows: the Mosaic law allowed polygamy; the Bible
records it; therefore, the Bible _teaches_ polygamy.
A Mormon Saint can have not less than three wives but as many more as he
can conveniently support. The eight fundamental doctrines of the Mormon
Church are stated as follows: 1. God is a person with the flesh and form
of a man. 2. Man is a part of the substance of God and will himself
become a god. 3. Man is not created by God but existed from all
eternity. 4. Man is not born in sin, and is not accountable for offenses
other than his own. 5. The earth is a colony of embodied spirits, one of
many such settlements in space. 6. God is president of the immortals,
having under Him four orders of beings: (1.) Gods--_i.e._, immortal
beings, possessed of a perfect organization of soul and body, being the
final state of men who have lived on earth in perfect obedience to the
law. (2.) Angels, immortal beings who have lived on earth in imperfect
obedience to the law. (3.) Men, immortal beings in whom a living soul is
united with a human body. (4.) Spirits, immortal beings, still waiting
to receive their tabernacle of flesh. 7. Man, being one of the race of
gods, became eligible, by means of marriage, for a celestial throne, and
his household of wives and children are his kingdom, not only on earth
but in heaven. 8. The kingdom of God has been again founded on earth,
and the time has now come for the saints to take possession of their
own; but by virtue, not by violence; by industry, not by force. This
sect has met with stern and bitter opposition. It was successively
located in New York, Ohio, Missouri, and Illinois, from the last of
which it was expelled by force of arms, and in 1848 established in Utah.
Its adherents number, at the present time, more than two hundred
thousand.
Another organization, differing from the Mormons, in many of its radical
principles, is that of the "Communists," popularly termed "Free Lovers."
It is located at Lennox, Madison Co., N.Y. Its members advocate a system
of "complex marriage" which they claim is instituted with a
conscientious regard for the welfare of posterity. They disclaim
"promiscuity," and assert that the tie which binds them together is as
permanent and as sacred as that of marriage. Community of property is
commensurate with freedom of Love. They define love to be "social
appreciation," and this element in their code of civilization, which
they deem superior to all others, is secondary to "bodily support." The
principles upon which their social status is founded may be briefly
summarized as follows: "Man offers woman support and love
(unconditional). Woman enjoying freedom, self-respect, health, personal
and mental competency, gives herself to man in the boundless sincerity
of an unselfish union. State--, Communism." In this, as in all forms of
polygamous marriages, love is made synonymous with sexuality, and its
purely spiritual element is lost. In every instance this spiritual
element should constitute the basis of marriage, which, without it, is
nothing more than legal prostitution. Without it, the selfish,
degrading, animal propensities run rampant, while the emotions with all
their boundless sweetness lie dormant. Woman is regarded as only a
plaything to gratify the animal caprice.
That Monogamy is a law of nature is evident from the fact that it
fulfills the three essential conditions which form the basis of true
marriage: (1.) The development of the individual (2.) The welfare of
society. (3.) The reproduction of the species.
THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE INDIVIDUAL.
PHYSICALLY. Reciprocated love produces a general exhilaration of the
system. The elasticity of the muscles is increased, the circulation is
quickened, and every bodily function is stimulated. The duties of life
are performed with a zest and alacrity never before experienced. "It is
not possible for human beings to attain their full stature of humanity,
except by loving long and perfectly. Behold that venerable man! He is
mature in judgment, perfect in every action and expression, and saintly
in goodness. You almost worship as you behold. What rendered him thus
perfect? What rounded off his natural asperities, and moulded up his
virtues? Love mainly. It permeated every pore, so to speak, and seasoned
every fiber of his being, as could nothing else. Mark that matronly
woman. In the bosom of her family, she is more than a queen and goddess
combined. All her looks and actions express the outflowing of some or
all of the human virtues. To know her is to love her. She became thus
perfect, not in a day or a year, but by a long series of appropriate
efforts. Then by what? Chiefly in and by love, which is specifically
adapted thus to develope this maturity." But all this occurs only when
there is a normal exercise of the sexual propensities. Excessive
indulgence in marital pleasures deadens all the higher faculties, love
included, and results in an utter prostration of the bodily powers. The
Creator has endowed man and woman with passions, the suppression of
which leads to pain, their gratification to pleasure, their satiety to
disgust. Excessive marital indulgence produces abnormal conditions of
the generative organs and not unfrequently leads to incurable disease.
Many cases of uterine disease are traceable to this cause.
MORALLY AND INTELLECTUALLY. In no country where the polygamous system
prevails do we find a code of political and social ethics which
recognizes the rights and claims of the individual. The condition of
woman is that of the basest slave, a slave to the caprice and tyranny of
her master. Communism raises her from the slough of slavery, but
subjects her to the level of prostitution. An inevitable sequence of
polygamy is a decline of literature and science. The natural tendency of
each system is to _sensualism._, The blood is diverted from its normal
channels and the result is a condition which may be appropriately termed
_mental starvation_. Sensualism is in its very nature directly opposed
to literary attainments or advancement. Happily there is a golden mean,
an equalization of those elements which constitutes the acme of
individual enjoyment.
THE WELFARE OF SOCIETY.
The general law of ethics, that "whatever is beneficial to the
individual, contributed to the highest good of society and _vice
versa_," applies with equal force to the hygienic conditions of
marriage. Each family, like the ancient Roman household, is the
prototype of the natural government under which it lives. Wherever the
marriage relation is regarded as sacred, there you will find men of pure
hearts and noble lives. Of all foreign nations the Germans are
celebrated for their sacred regard of woman, and the duties of marriage,
and all scholars from the age of Tacitus to the present day, have
concurred in attributing the elevation of woman to the pure-minded
Teutons. In America, the law recognizes only Monogamy; but domestic
unhappiness is a prominent feature of our national life; therefore,
argues the would-be free-lover, monogamy does not accord with the best
interests of mankind. The fallacy lies in the first premise. Legally,
our marriage system is monogamous but _socially_ and _practically_ it is
_not!_ Prostitution is the source of this domestic infelicity. The
"mistress" sips the sweet nectar that is denied to the deceived wife.
Legislators have battled with intemperance, but have done comparatively
little to banish from our midst this necessary (?) evil. They recoil
with disgust from this abyss of iniquity and disease. Within it is
coiled a hydra-headed monster, which invades our hearthstones,
contaminates our social atmosphere, and whose very breath is laden with
poisonous vapors, the inexhaustible source of all evil.
The perverted appetites of mankind are mistaken for the natural desires
and necessities of our being; and, accordingly, various arguments have
been advanced to prove that monogamy is not conducive to social
developement. It is curious that no one of these arguments refers to the
health and well-being of the _individual_, thus overlooking, perhaps
willfully, the great law of social economy. Even a few medical writers
sometimes advocate the principles of this so-called liberalism. In a
recently published work, there are enumerated only _two_ demerits of
polygamy and _six_ of monogamy. These six demerits which the author is
pleased to term a "bombshell," he introduces on account of his moral
convictions no less than humanitarian considerations. The same author
terms monogamy a "worm-eaten and rotten-rooted tree." The worm that is
devastating the fairest tree of Eden and draining its richest juices is
what our contemporary thinks, may be "_plausibly termed, a necessary
evil_." It is claimed that monogamy begets narrow sympathies and leads
to selfish idolatry. The fallacy of this argument lies in the
misapprehension of the term _selfishness_. Self-preservation is
literally selfishness, yet who will deny that it is a paramount duty of
man. If perverted, it may be vicious, even criminal; but selfishness, in
so far as it is generated by monogamy, is one of the chief elements of
social economy; furthermore, it favors the observance of the laws of
sexual hygiene. As we have said elsewhere, true love _increases
benevolence_, and correspondingly expands and develops the sympathies.
Selfish idolatry is preferable to social neglect. This argument will not
bear a critical examination; for it is asserted that in a happy union,
"love is so exclusive that there is hardly a liking for good neighbors,
and scarcely any love at all for God." If the "good neighbors" were
equally blessed, they would not suffer from this exclusiveness, and it
is practically true that there is no higher incentive to love and obey
our Maker than the blessing of a happy marriage.
THE PERPETUATION OF THE SPECIES.
The third essential object of marriage is the perpetuation of the
species. The desire for offspring is innate in the heart of every true
man or woman. It is thus a law of our nature, and, as such, must have
its legitimate sphere. The essential features of reproduction proclaim
monogamy to be the true method of procreation. Promiscuity would render
the mother unable to designate the father of her children. Among lower
animals, pairing is an instinctive law whenever the female is incapable
of protecting and nourishing her offspring alone. During at least
fifteen years, the child is dependent for food and clothing upon its
parents, to say nothing of the requisite moral training and loving
sympathy, which, in a great measure, mould its character. Fidelity to
one promotes multiplication. It has been argued by the advocates of
polygamy that such a system interferes with woman's natural right to
maternity. Of the many marriages celebrated yearly, comparatively few
are sterile. The statement that many single women are desirous of having
children, would apply only to a very limited number, as it is seldom
that they would be able to support children without the aid and
assistance of a father. Promiscuity diminishes the number and
_vitiates_, the quality of the human products. "Women of pleasure never
give to the world sons of genius, or daughters of moral purity."
* * * * *