Aunt Eliza never comes to our house without getting me into
difficulties. I don't really think she means to do it, but it gets
itself done just the same. She was at our house last week, and though I
meant to behave in the most exemplifying manner, I happened by accident
to do something which she said ought to fill me with remorse for the
rest of my days.
Remorse is a dreadful thing to have. Some people have it so bad that
they never get over it. There was once a ghost who suffered dreadfully
from remorse. He was a tall white ghost, with a large cotton umbrella.
He haunted a house where he used to walk up and down, carrying his
umbrella and looking awfully solemn. People used to wonder what he
wanted of an umbrella, but they never asked him, because they always
shrieked and fainted away when they saw the ghost, and when they were
brought to cried, "Save me take it away take it away."
One time a boy came to the house to spend Christmas. He was just a
terror, was this boy. He had been a District Telegraph Messenger boy,
and he wasn't afraid of anything. The folks told him about the ghost,
but he said he didn't care for any living ghost, and had just as soon
see him as not.
That night the boy woke up, and saw the ghost standing in his bedroom,
and he said, "Thishyer is nice conduct, coming into a gentleman's room
without knocking. What do you want, anyway?"
The ghost replied in the most respectful way that he wanted to find the
owner of the umbrella. "I stole that umbrella when I was alive," he
said, "and I am filled with remorse."
"I should think you would be," said the boy, "for it is the worst old
cotton umbrella I ever saw."
"If I can only find the owner and give it back to him," continued the
ghost, "I can get a little rest; but I've been looking for him for
ninety years, and I can't find him."
"Serves you right," said the boy, "for not sending for a messenger.
You're in luck to meet me. Gimme the umbrella, and I'll give it back to
the owner."
"Bless you," said the ghost, handing the umbrella to the boy; "you have
saved me. Now I will go away and rest," and he turned to go out of the
door, when the boy said,
"See here; it's fifty cents for taking an umbrella home, and I've got to
be paid in advance."
"But I haven't got any money," said the ghost.
"Can't help that," said the boy. "You give me fifty cents, or else take
your umbrella back again. We don't do any work in our office for
nothing."
Well, the end of it all was that the ghost left the umbrella with the
boy, and the next night he came back with the money, though where he got
it nobody will ever know. The boy kept the money, and threw the umbrella
away, for he was a real bad boy, and only made believe that he was going
to find the owner, and the ghost was never seen again.
But I haven't told about the trouble with Aunt Eliza yet. The day she
came to our house mother bought a lot of live crabs from a man, and put
them in a pail in the kitchen. Tom McGinnis was spending the day with
me, and I said to him what fun it would be to have crab races, such as
we used to have down at the sea-shore last summer. He said wouldn't it,
though; so each of us took three crabs, and went up-stairs into the
spare bedroom, where we could be sure of not being disturbed. We had a
splendid time with the crabs, and I won more than half the races. All of
a sudden I heard mother calling me, and Tom and I just dropped the crabs
into an empty work-basket, and pushed it under the sofa out of sight,
and then went down-stairs.
I meant to get the crabs and take them back to the kitchen again, but
I forgot all about it, for Aunt Eliza came just after mother had called
me, and everybody was busy talking to her. Of course she was put into
the spare room, and as she was very tired, she said she'd lie down on
the sofa until dinner-time and take her hair down.
[Illustration: HE PINCHED JUST AS HARD AS HE COULD PINCH.]
About an hour afterwards we heard the most dreadful cries from Aunt
Eliza's room, and everybody rushed up-stairs, because they thought she
must certainly be dead. Mother opened the door, and we all went in. Aunt
Eliza was standing in the middle of the floor, and jumping up and down,
and crying and shrieking at the top of her voice. One crab was hanging
on to one of her fingers, and he pinched just as hard as he could pinch,
and there were two more hanging on to the ends of her hair. You see, the
crabs had got out of the work-basket, and some of them had climbed up
the sofa while Aunt Eliza was asleep.
Of course they said it was all my fault, and perhaps it was. But I'd
like to know if it's a fair thing to leave crabs where they can tempt a
fellow, and then to be severe with him when he forgets to put them back.
However, I forgive everybody, especially Aunt Eliza, who really doesn't
mean any harm.