IN DEEP WATERS
“Yet I argue not
Against Heav’n’s hand or will, nor bate a jot
Of heart or hope; but still bear up and steer
Right onward.”
The days and nights in the cave glided by rapidly and serenely with Saulus
and Amoz. The stillness of the place, the beauty and grandeur of the
mountains and valleys, the companionship of wild animals and birds, the
luxuriance of verdure and blossom, and the sublime view of the distant sea
which the heights afforded,—all were ministrant to soul‐growth and
inspiration. Much time was also given to a reinterpretation of the law and
sacred writings of the prophets, copies of which had been brought with
them.
At intervals Saulus made short journeys to the shepherd villages in the
adjacent country, and as occasion afforded began to teach and preach the
New Faith to such of the scattered herdsmen as were within reach. This was
but a light labor, and he counted his experience as an easy school in the
practice and power of the great work of the future towards which he was
already looking with earnest anticipation. Only the consciousness of a
rapidly growing capacity to teach, and the favorable circumstances for the
building up of an unwonted spiritual energy and equipment, reconciled his
intense and untiring soul to a continuance of the sojourn in the desert.
In the decision of Cassia, Saulus increasingly realized that a weight had
been lifted from the freedom and usefulness of his future life, and
although some yearnings of heart were not easily stilled, his mastery over
them grew more complete. In the broader and more harmonious disposition of
soul which he now commanded, he was astonished and humiliated as he looked
back at the wonderful charm which the untaught and impulsive daughter of
Almon formerly possessed for him. He had left forever behind the fantasy
and unregulated passion which in time past raged within his soul, and was
now able to view life in its true and broadened perspective.
In due time he received a letter from Rebecca which warmed his heart. It
ran as follows:—
_Chisleu, XXIVth day._
“HOUSE OF BENONI, TARSUS.
“O my dear Saulus!
“Peace, joy, and warm greetings to thee, my brother!
“Thy letter from a cave of Horeb, in the wilderness of Arabia, hath come
to my hand, and it rejoiceth my heart unspeakably!
“O Saulus! _thou_ a disciple of the New Faith! Do not mine eyes deceive
me? What a marvel hath God wrought! Behold his loving mercy endureth
forever! The Spirit of Truth was in and around thee, and would not be put
away until it touched and melted thy heart. And the love of my soul also
went with thee, even in thy persecutions, and would not be satisfied until
thou wast awakened and didst come to thyself.
“Behold I have such an abundance of good tidings to give thee that of a
surety my epistle will gladden thy heart, even as thy message from the
cave made us rejoice greatly. Many unwonted events have come to pass in
our native city, some of which I will briefly recount.
“When thou didst banish the noble Serenus from the Holy City, Amabel, the
daughter of Gamaliel, upon her release, became his wife and fled with him,
and returned not to her father’s house. They journeyed to Cæsarea and took
ship for Tarsus, on the way to Rome, toward which they had set their
faces. The vessel was sunk in the depths of the sea, but behold every soul
on board was saved and brought to Tarsus by the Vice Legate, whose ship
chanced to be near at hand. And now I make known unto thee the most
marvellous thing of all. Through the faithful devotion and teaching of
Serenus and Amabel, both the Vice Legate and our father and mother have
become disciples of the New Faith. I am persuaded that thy heart will leap
for joy when these tidings meet thine eyes! An iniquitous outbreak of
persecution in Tarsus, which seemed only evil, was blessed in the ripening
of this good harvest.
“On the day of a great festival in the temple and gardens of Apollo, when
the throng was great in the streets, our people were cruelly set upon as
they came from the services of the synagogue. It arose from a lying rumor,
and came so swiftly that many of the Hebrews were wounded or faint from
flight before they could reach their habitations. Thus it chanced with our
father and mother, but before many days they were fully restored.
“The rabble sorely bruised and trampled upon my body, and peradventure I
should have perished, but in my flight, Marcius, the Vice Legate, and
Serenus saved me from their hands. They brought me to the dwelling‐place
of Amabel, which is connected with the Legate’s palace. Through her
ministration, with that of Serenus, I was speedily healed.
“Marcius is a noble Roman whose heart is warmed by the New Faith, and his
kindness to Serenus and Amabel, and even to me, hath been continuous. The
members of the household of the higher life in Tarsus are increasing in
number, and all have much gladness in the freedom of the Truth. Our
gatherings for mutual converse, encouragement, and communion with the
Spirit are often held at the house of our father Benoni, and the Vice
Legate hath been here with the others.
“The life and teaching of the great prophet of Nazareth are faithfully set
before us by Serenus, and faith, love, and spiritual singleness are
strengthened and multiplied. Some who were sick have been healed, the lame
made to walk, evil spirits cast out, and the whole gospel of salvation
proclaimed to such as have ears to hear. Outward signs and works of mercy
give abundant witness to the working of the power of God within.
“All have great joy in the letter which thou didst send, and hope shortly
that they may behold thy face in thy native city.
“Serenus sendeth his warm brotherly greetings, and our father and mother
have great comfort in their hearts concerning thy latter course.
“Peace and blessing be multiplied to thee!
“REBECCA.”
Tears of joy coursed down the cheeks of Saulus as he finished reading the
letter. He folded it to his bosom, went out of the cave, and made his way
up to a frequented seat upon the heights.
The late afternoon sun, not too hot, softly gilded the surrounding
Sinaitic peaks, and kindled a golden radiance upon the vast expanse of the
distant Red Sea in the west. Every tree, plant, blossom, and bird seemed
to be rejoicing in the rich, warm glow which bathed heaven and earth with
its beauty.
The objective world was the fitting symbol and correspondence of the joy
and fruition which flooded and enlarged the soul of Saulus. The message
from Rebecca softened and melted the few hard vestiges of his former
state, and the tender greeting from Serenus caused a great upheaval of
love and thanksgiving. The dark clouds of past memories were dissolved and
scattered by the warm sunshine from Tarsus.
To Saulus the light of God was within and without, and each seemed but a
varying aspect of one continuous and many‐sided Revelation. Man was the
crown of Nature, and in him its apex towered up until it touched and
became one with its Author. How shrunken, mean, and unlovely the life of
the past, which was now dimmed and even overflowed by the privileges and
possibilities of the future which were unfolded before him.
A procession of months went by, and the time arrived when Saulus,
strengthened and confirmed in spirit and power by his long retirement, was
ready and eager to enter again the busy world of men. Any hardship, or
even persecution, which he might meet would not discourage, but rather
stimulate, his activity. Like other great souls who have recognized
eternal principles, he knew that the progress of Truth was hastened by
opposition. To encounter indifference would be far worse, but this could
not be. A man whose inner nature is at a white heat must and will arouse
antagonism. Error smarts when revealed by the rays of Truth. There can be
no truce. Enthusiasm begets other enthusiasm, which may be either for or
against itself, but in its presence stagnation is impossible. One earnest
soul stored with the dynamics of Faith will accomplish more than a
thousand whose spiritual outgoings are feeble and uncertain.
Saulus was deeply moved as he finally left the secluded dwelling‐place
which had been hallowed by so many profitable experiences, and the scene
of so much soul‐growth. But the fulness of time had come, and with Amoz he
gladly set out upon the long journey. After an uneventful crossing of the
desert they reached Damascus in due season.
Making their way to the house of Ananias, they were hospitably received.
Saulus lost no time in visiting the synagogues, and immediately began to
preach the higher life in spiritual simplicity as it had been proclaimed
by Jesus.
The Jewish Hellenists and proselytes were numerous in Damascus, and up to
the time of the arrival of Saulus, the liberal party, including those who
had nominally accepted the New Faith, lived in mutual toleration with the
bigoted school of the _Halacha_, which was much more powerful. But now the
dry bones were shaken. Soon the burning and unanswerable arguments of
Saulus awoke a storm of angry opposition. The slumber in dead forms was
rudely ended, and fierce persecution began.
Ananias and the little band of liberal Jews found themselves utterly
unable to quiet the storm which this dangerous intruder aroused. It was as
if Stephanos had arisen and come back to shatter the self‐sufficiency and
deadness of ceremonialism, and now, as in his time, religious intolerance
burst aflame.
The life of Saulus was demanded. The Ethnarch of the city, who commanded
the garrison, being in sympathy with the persecution, lent his aid to the
conspiracy to end the career of the over‐zealous young heretic. The gates
of the city were watched night and day to prevent his escape. Was his work
to be brought to a close before it had fairly begun?
Not another day must pass or it would be too late to save him. There was a
hurried consultation of his friends. Happy thought! the house of one of
them abutted upon the city wall! The plot may yet be frustrated! He is
secretly conducted to this house in the evening. The night is dark, and
the sentry passes but infrequently! A little knot of faithful friends with
anxious hearts are on the watch! A large basket held by a strong rope
hangs out of the window over the wall. All is still, and Saulus steps in.
The sentry goes by, and now strong hands lower the basket, down, down,
carefully but swiftly. It reaches the ground!
By previous understanding Amoz is not far away, and arm in arm they go out
into the darkness. Surely an ignominious beginning!
One warm afternoon a few weeks later Saulus and Amoz approached the
Damascus Gate of the Holy City. Though hot and weary from their journey,
as they came near its end they were imbued with new life and courage.
In many of the towns and villages through which they had come Saulus
discoursed in the synagogues, but made no lengthy sojourn, as he was
anxious to reach Jerusalem and confer with Peter, Barnabas, and other
disciples of the New Faith.
As they entered the well‐remembered portal, Saulus was reminded of the
brilliant cavalcade at the head of which he formerly passed out, as
compared with his unheralded return on foot with but one of his many
companions. But despite the contrast, a great flood of thankfulness filled
his heart.
A multitude of strange thoughts crowded upon him as his eyes rested again
upon familiar places and scenes. Should he show his face boldly, or for a
while avoid his old friends and companions?
What of Cassia and the household of Almon, his comrades of the _Urim_, the
Rabban, and the Sanhedrin?
Here was the Lyceum, where he had hotly contended for the hard dogmas of
the Jewish law; here the many places where he had scourged men, women, and
children; and here the prison whose cruel doors, at his command, had
closed upon Serenus, Amabel, and the rest of the congregation of the Upper
Chamber. He felt like a stranger from some far country, and the past
flitted before him as a dark and terrible dream from which he had newly
awakened.
Somewhat changed in appearance and costume, he passed through several
streets unrecognized, finally turning into the courtyard of a dwelling
where he had been told in Damascus he would find Peter and Barnabas. Amoz,
after an affectionate farewell, left him to seek some of his own kinsfolk
who dwelt in another part of the city.
In response to a knock at the door of the house of Peter, it was opened by
a maid, who when she saw his face uttered a loud cry, and shrank back
affrighted into the house. Then Peter’s wife came quickly to see what had
happened. She too looked upon the well‐remembered features, exclaiming
with great fear and agitation,—
“Thou art Saulus! Hast thou returned to take us to prison?”
“Nay, I bring peace to this house! I am no more a persecutor, but of the
New Faith! I pray thee, is Peter within?”
Peter’s wife suspected craftiness, and did not believe him, but stood
trembling, not knowing how to make reply.
“Peter is not within!” said she after some hesitation.
“I might have expected that all would flee from me!” said Saulus, half to
himself. “A righteous retribution!” Then, continuing in an earnest and
friendly tone, he said,—
“Of a surety I am now a follower of the Nazarene!”
Peter’s wife still hesitated, not knowing what to believe, and Saulus
turned sorrowfully away, saying,—
“Tell Peter that I love the brethren! I will come again after his return.”
The maid had escaped from the house, and quickly warned the faithful who
lived in the neighborhood. Many fled from their homes, taking their
children with them, believing that, as Saulus had returned, a new
persecution was at hand. Consternation reigned, and word was sent out
among the disciples in other parts of the city that they were again to be
harassed and hunted down.
Saulus was sorely grieved when he left the house of Peter. He was counted
an enemy among his friends. He almost wished himself back in the desert.
It was now evening, and not expedient to visit Peter’s house before the
morrow. He walked aimlessly along the street hardly knowing what to do,
but being weary, and seeing a small inn near by, entered, thinking to
sojourn for the night. After removing the dust and sweat of the journey,
and partaking of a light supper, he walked out to enjoy the cool of the
evening, and calm his troubled thoughts. The moon was bright, the air
soft, the streets crowded, and the sound of voices and laughter echoed
from the house‐tops.
What a contrast with the desert and cave! What a great network, and even
tangle, of disagreeing interests, systems, opinions, and religions! How
sorely the world needed the resolving and transforming power of the new
life, and a knowledge of the higher law! Selfishness, prejudice,
sensuality, and devotion to the seen and temporal, everywhere dominant!
What a change in himself, and in his interpretation of life!
As these reflections coursed through his mind, he found himself at the
entrance of one of the public gardens which skirted the slope of Mount
Moriah. The spicy odor of plant and blossom lent a charm to the place, and
being in a meditative mood, he entered and seated himself in a retired
corner of one of the bowers. Groups of people were all around, some seated
and others promenading, seeking the enjoyment of social converse and
recreation. Occasional peals of laughter and snatches of song gave
evidence of the light‐heartedness of the children of the Orient.
But Saulus was wrapped in a more profound revery. With a heart full of
love he had come to bear a great blessing to the Holy City, but none would
receive it. To his old friends he was now a renegade and traitor, while to
his new brethren he was a terror and a cause of offence. O ungrateful
world! With head bowed between his hands, the hot tears could not be held
back.
A young man and woman from among the promenaders sat down near him.
Although they were hard by, a partial partition of vines intervened,
effectually secluding him. He started to arise, but could not retreat
without passing directly before them in the full moonlight to the entrance
of the bower. Moreover, the conversation could not concern him, so he kept
his seat.
“Thou seemest sad, and not like thyself to‐night, my Cassia!”
Saulus was thunderstruck. But to fly would be to reveal his identity.
There was no response. The voice continued,—
“The last full moon witnessed our marriage feast, and behold the light of
this revealeth thy sadness!”
“Peradventure thou judgest not rightly, Ezra!”
“Why, then, hast thou become silent? I hear no more thy wonted cheerful
converse! thou art downcast!”
“To‐night I am given to meditation!”
“Have I given thee offence?”
“I have made no complaint!”
“But why so unhappy, Cassia? Dost thou not love thy husband?”
“Oh, question me not! I feel strangely to‐night!” she exclaimed rather
petulantly.
“Have I done aught to offend thee?”
“I have no condemnation!”
“As thy husband, I rightfully claim to know why thou art disquieted.”
“I cannot reveal my thoughts! Let me be silent!”
“Thou dost set thy face against me, Cassia!” he exclaimed with some
earnestness.
“Rebuke me not, I pray thee! If I am disconsolate, it lieth not within me
to be otherwise!”
“Why didst thou become my wife, if my presence is disquieting?”
“I have made no such accusation!”
“Aha!” he exclaimed bitterly. “I am persuaded that thy thoughts turn
towards thy former lover, Saulus!”
“For shame, Ezra! thou speakest foolishness!”
“Thou canst not deny it!”
“Thou art cruel, and dost not love me!” The tone was that of impatient
reproach.
“Thou hast deceived me! I am persuaded that there is love in thy heart for
Saulus! Thou declared unto me that thou didst hold him in contempt!”
“Thou knowest not to the contrary!”
“Thou hast betrayed thyself, Cassia! I would that thou hadst given thyself
to the mad heretic, and that mine eyes had never beheld thy comely but
false face!”
Frantic weeping, moans, and flighty laughter gave evidence that Cassia had
suddenly become moonstruck or hysterical.
“O Saulus! why did I scorn thee? O Saulus! Saulus! I seem to feel thy
presence—near—me—even—now! O Saulus! Saulus!”