HOW ST. MONICA LIVED IN THE PAGAN HOUSEHOLD OF HER HUSBAND PATRICIUS
Although there were many Christians in Roman Africa, pagan manners
and customs still survived in many of her cities. The people clung to
their games in the circus, the cruel and bloody combats of the arena,
which, though forbidden by Constantine, were still winked at by
provincial governors. They scarcely pretended to believe in their
religion, but they held to the old pagan festivals, which enabled
them to enjoy themselves without restraint under pretence of
honouring the gods. The paganism of the fourth century, with its
motto, "Let us eat, drink, and be merry," imposed no self-denial; it
was therefore bound to be popular.
But unrestrained human nature is a dangerous thing. If men are
content to live as the beasts that perish, they fall as far below
their level as God meant them to rise above it, and the Roman Empire
was falling to pieces through its own corruption. In Africa the
worship of the old Punic gods, to whom living children used to be
offered in sacrifice, had still its votaries, and priests of Saturn
and Astarte, with their long hair and painted faces and scarlet
robes, were still to be met dancing madly in procession through the
streets of Carthage.
The various heretical sects had their preachers everywhere,
proclaiming that there were much easier ways of serving Christ than
that taught by the Catholic Church. It was hard for the Christian
bishops to keep their flocks untainted, for there were enemies on
every side.
VVhen Monica was twenty-two years old her parents gave her in
marriage to a citizen of Tagaste called Patricius. He held a good
position in the town, for he belonged to a family which, though poor,
was noble. Monica knew little of her future husband, save that he was
nearly twice her age and a pagan, but it was the custom for parents
to arrange all such matters, and she had only to obey.
A little surprise was perhaps felt in Tagaste that such good
Christians should choose a pagan husband for their beautiful
daughter, but it was found impossible to shake their hopeful views
for the future. When it was objected that Patricius was well known
for his violent temper even amongst his own associates, they answered
that he would learn gentleness when he became a Christian. That
things might go hard with their daughter in the meantime they did not
seem to foresee.
Monica took her new trouble where she had been used to take the old.
Kneeling in her favourite corner in the church, she asked help and
counsel of the Friend Who never fails. She had had her girlish ideals
of love and marriage. She had dreamt of a strong arm on which she
could lean, of a heart and soul that would be at one with her in all
that was most dear, of two lives spent together in God's love and
service. And now it seemed that it was she who would have to be
strong for both; to strive and to suffer to bring her husband's soul
out of darkness into the light of truth. Would she succeed? And if
not, what would be that married life which lay before her? She did
not dare to think. She must not fail--and yet . . . . "Thou in me, O
Lord," she prayed again and again through her tears.
It was late when she made her way homewards, and that night, kneeling
at her bedside, she laid the ideals of her girlhood at the feet of
Him Who lets no sacrifice, however small, go unrewarded. She would be
true to this new trust, she resolved, cost what it might.
Things certainly did not promise well for the young bride's
happiness. Patricius lived with his mother, a woman of strong
passions like himself, and devoted to her son. She was bitterly
jealous of the young girl who had stolen his affections, and had made
up her mind to dislike her. The slaves of the household followed, of
course, their mistress's lead, and tried to please her by inventing
stories against Monica.
Patricius, who loved his young wife with the only kind of love of
which he was capable, had nothing in common with her, and had no clue
to her thoughts or actions. He had neither reverence nor respect for
women--indeed, most of the women of his acquaintance were deserving
of neither--and he had chosen Monica for her beauty, much as he would
have chosen a horse or a dog. He thought her ways and ideas
extraordinary. She took as kindly an interest in the slaves as if
they had been of her own flesh and blood, and would even intercede to
spare them a beating. She liked the poor, and would gather these
dirty and unpleasant people about her, going so far even as to wash
and dress their sores. Patricius did not share her attraction, and
objected strongly to such proceedings; but Monica pleaded so humbly
and sweetly that he gave way, and let her do what seemed to cause her
so much pleasure. "There was no accounting for tastes," he remarked.
She would spend hours in the church praying, with her great eyes
fixed on the altar. True, she was never there at any time when she
was likely to be missed by her husband, and never was she so full of
tender affection for him as when she came home; but still, it was a
strange way of spending one's time.
There was something about Monica, it is true, that was altogether
unlike any other inmate of the house, as she went about her daily
duties, always watching for the chance of doing a kind action.
When Patricius was in one of his violent tempers, shouting, abusing,
and even striking everybody who came in his way, she would look at
him with gentle eyes that showed neither fear nor anger. She never
answered sharply, even though his rude words wounded her cruelly. He
had once raised his hand to strike her, but he had not dared;
something--he did not know what--withheld him.
Later, when his anger had subsided, and he was perhaps a little
ashamed of his violence, she would meet him with an affectionate
smile, forgiving and forgetting all. Only if he spoke himself, and,
touched at her generous forbearance, tried shamefacedly to make
amends for his treatment of her, would she gently explain her
conduct. More often she said nothing, knowing that actions speak more
loudly than words. As her greatest biographer says of her: "She spoke
little, preached not at all, loved much, and prayed unceasingly."
When the young wives of her acquaintance, married like herself to
pagan husbands, complained of the insults and even blows which they
had to bear, "Are you sure your own tongue is not to blame?" she
would ask them laughingly; and then with ready sympathy would do all
she could to help and comfort and advise. They would ask her secret,
for everyone knew that, in spite of the violence of Patricius's
temper, he treated her with something that almost approached respect.
Then she would bid them be patient, and love and pray, and meet
harshness with gentleness, and abuse with silence. And when they
sometimes answered that it would seem weak to knock under in such a
fashion, Monica would ask them if they thought it needed more
strength to speak or to be silent when provoked, and which was
easier, to smile or to sulk when insulted? Many homes were happier in
consequence, for Monica had a particular gift for making peace, and
even as a child had settled the quarrels of her young companions to
everybody's satisfaction.
To the outside world Patricius's young wife seemed contented and
happy. She managed her affairs well, people said, and no one but God
knew of the suffering that was her secret and His. Brought up in the
peace and piety of a Christian family, she had had no idea of the
miseries of paganism. Now she had ample opportunity to study the
effects of unchecked selfishness and of uncontrolled passions; to see
how low human nature, unrestrained by faith and love, could fall.
Her mother-in-law treated her with suspicion and dislike, for the
slaves, never weary of inventing fresh stories against her,
misrepresented all her actions to their mistress. Monica did not seem
to notice unkindness, repaying the many insults she received with
little services tactfully rendered, but she felt it deeply.
"They do not know," she would say to herself, and pray for them all
the more earnestly, offering her sufferings for these poor souls who
were so far from the peace of Christ. How was the light to come to
them if not through her? How could they learn to love Christ unless
they learned to love His servants and to see Him in them? The
revelation must come through her, if it was to come at all. "Thou in
me, O Lord," she would pray, and draw strength and courage at His
feet for the daily suffering.
The heart of Patricius was like a neglected garden. Germs of
generosity, of nobility, lay hidden under a rank growth of weeds that
no one had ever been at any trouble to clear away. The habits of a
lifetime held him captive. With Monica he was always at his best, but
he grew weary of being at his best. It was so much easier to be at
his worst. He gradually began to seek distractions amongst his old
pagan companions in the old ignoble pleasures.
The whole town began to talk of his neglect of his beautiful young
wife. Monica suffered cruelly, but in silence. When he was at home,
which was but seldom, she was serene and gentle as usual. She never
reproached him, and treated him with the same tender deference as of
old. Patricius felt the charm of her presence; all that was good in
him responded; but evil habits had gone far to stifle the good, and
his lower nature cried out for base enjoyments. He was not strong
enough to break the chain which held him.
So Monica wept and prayed in secret, and God sent a ray of sunshine
to brighten her sad life. Three children were born to her during the
early years of her marriage. The name of Augustine, her eldest son,
will be for ever associated with that of his mother. Of the other
two, Navigius and Perpetua his sister, we know little. Navigius,
delicate in health, was of a gentle and pious nature. Both he and
Perpetua married, but the latter after her husband's death entered a
monastery. With her younger children Monica had no trouble; it was
the eldest, Augustine, who, after having been for long the son of her
sorrow and of her prayers, was destined to be at last her glory and
her joy.