BROWN TAKES A HAND AT DIPLOMACY
"The consummate sentimental bookworm! He hasn't gumption enough to
manage a hedge school." Farquharson threw himself into a chair and
crossed his legs, knocking over another chair in the process. It was
in the house of the English consul.
"I haven't caught breath after the pandemonium this morning," returned
the consul. "I'm glad to be back here alive."
"See here, Twickenham, you're a civilian, and have no stomach for
fighting, and not to blame either; but Fairbanks is a fighting machine.
It's his business to shoot and be shot at. Sentiment is out of place
in a commander of a fleet. A plague on him! Barcelo flips a few
birdshot out of a brace or two of pill boxes. The British nation bows.
Well, you saw the farce this morning. By Jove! I'll have Fairbanks
before the high court, to answer for his work--or lack of it."
Farquharson was now nervously stepping up and down the room.
"I've had my signal-fires on the hills since noon, asking the Admiral
to meet me. I want it to be on land, or anywhere off his ships. On
neutral ground I'm free to call his conduct by the name it deserves.
England has suffered humiliation to-day, and all because of him! The
dolt!"
"I thought the ship would begin bombardment at once. I don't mind
confessing that 'twas a dread time as far as I was concerned."
"Begin bombardment!" Farquharson paused in his walk. "Why didn't he
blast the old fort into nothingness, and California would be ours.
I'll wake him when I meet him."
"Hold on, Captain! If that blasting process of yours had gone on, we,
personally, wouldn't possess California, or anything else, now."
"O, Twickenham! Well, you're not a fighting man. Besides, Admiral
Fairbanks didn't know we were in the castle. Furthermore, there was
safety enough in the subways, if we had minded to go there."
Again he threw himself into a chair, and began fuming anew. "Now,
there's Señora Valentino! She left Europe, and all that this meant to
the woman she is. She has come to this out-of-the-way place--worked
hard! and conscientiously! And for what? By the way, the señora
should be here. She sent word she's heard something important. She's
five minutes overdue as it is."
"That clock is fast, Captain."
Farquharson looked at his watch. "Only two minutes fast." He was on
his feet again. "What can have kept her!"
"O, sit down, Farquharson. Let's talk over this matter."
"Talk over the matter! That's just the trouble. It's talk, talk,
talk!--and nothing done! Just wait till I meet Fairbanks! I'll----"
"Now, see here, Captain Farquharson. I'm only a business man, and I
don't know anything about fighting, as you intimate. But, can't you
and the señora bring Barcelo to some reasonable attitude in this
affair? Have him and Admiral Fairbanks arrange an entente cordiale, so
that Monterey will pass into our hands without a repetition of this
morning's fusillade."
The consul's wife ushered in Señora Valentino.
"Friends, I have received news from Half Moon Bay," the señora
announced, coming to the point at once, and waiving all greetings.
"Of Billings's fleet?"
"Yes. The sloop-of-war, the Cyane, went aground some time yesterday."
"How did the news come? Is it authentic?"
"It is, Captain. Alberto, the peon, brought me word. By day and night
he hurried."
"Splendid, señora!"
"Commodore Billings has only one other vessel, and that is his
flagship, the United States," added the señora.
"Billings isn't likely to try to force the harbor with a single boat.
The Yankee's mishap is our opportunity."
"But the Cyane may float at highest tide which comes in a few days now."
The señora then added significantly: "The United States can care little
for this territory, judging from the weakness of their Pacific fleet.
We must press this on our reluctant Admiral."
"Yes, we'll have to coax him back into Monterey, as a mother leads a
bashful child into company. But--that bumptious Barcelo! What has he
to say of his conduct? California voted to come under our protection,
he with the others. What, under heaven's name, prompted him?"
"The real man was to the fore this morning, Captain. His blustering
second self was submerged."
"Second self submerged? Well! And did the cannonading in that rickety
fort settle the dregs? My word! But what does he say of it all?"
"That his honor demanded the resistance."
"Then, why in the world didn't he think of that when he voted at the
baile? Not bid us to gather our basket of eggs, only to throw a
bowlder into the midst."
"The Colonel's mind was on cribbage that night rather than on the
province."
"And the coming of the ships took his mind from cards to fighting,"
elevating his eyebrows.
"Disappointed ambition did that."
"Disappointed ambition? Señora, we gave him no assurance of office
under our regime."
"No, but he cherished the desire, and importuned you this morning to
confirm it."
"Well, he received his answer." The Captain's back stiffened.
"Yes, Captain Farquharson, and he gave us his. The soldier of other
days awoke."
"I should say he did! I wish his popguns had shaken into Fairbanks
some of that same spirit."
The señora rose to go. "A message will bring me, Captain, when you get
in touch with the Admiral."
"I am expecting each moment to hear from him. At least he can use his
guns to fire signals."
Both Farquharson and Twickenham attended the lady to the street.
The holiday appearance was gone from the capital. Many of the
residents had taken themselves and their families out of the
possible-danger zone. The others remained well within the shadow of
their own rooftrees.
Farquharson's horse took him to the high ground back of the city.
Reaching perpendicularly from a half dozen hills were thin pillars of
signal smoke. Touching the upper air drafts they bent horizonward, and
drifted slowly into nothingness.
"My smoke does its work all right, but Fairbanks's guns appear to be
dumb. Drat the fellow!"
His glasses pointed out to sea. For a moment, by chance, it rested on
the town below.
"Well, anyway Monterey will learn that every day isn't a fiesta day."
He half chuckled.
Again he directed his attention to the smoke now ascending in fresh
volume as peons replenished the fires. Again he swept the ocean with
his spyglass.
A small boat was landing on the beach below the castle. The crew,
waist-deep in water, was sliding it in, on the crest of a breaker. One
man separated from the others and walked toward the town. The spyglass
covered him, though Farquharson's thoughts were elsewhere.
"Why! Why!" in a moment, "it's old Brown. What's he been doing on a
native fishing-boat?"
He shut his glass together; looked once more at the smoke columns, then
cantered down the hill. He came on his former employee near the plaza.
"How do, Brown?"
"Fine, Cap'. How are you?"
"Glad to see you, Brown."
"Same here, Cap'. I'm powerful glad."
Farquharson and the Missourian gripped in cordial handshake.
"Brown, I just saw you leave that sailboat. Are you engaged in
catching fish?"
Brown leaned against the Captain's horse, tangled his hand in its mane,
crossed one foot over the other, and said: "Nary fishin', Cap'."
"Well, that's a deep-sea fishing-boat."
"I reckon. But I didn't fish none in that craft."
"Out for pleasure, then. Well, what have you been doing with yourself
since I saw you last?"
Brown wagged his head.
"Cap', I signed up with you in Santa Fé on prospect of big game huntin'
and adventure. Well, there's been no big game, but I'm meetin'
adventure, at last."
"I'm much interested. I presume you were in this boat when the
bombardment was going on this morning."
"Nope. Only met her a while back. Cap', you couldn't guess where I
was this mornin'."
"Well," laughing, "as you would say, I reckon not."
Brown wagged his head once more, placed his back squarely against the
horse, and announced impressively: "Cap'n Farquharson, this mornin' I
was on the flagship of Ad_my_ral Fairbanks."
The Captain dropped the bridle-rein in his astonishment. The horse
sidled away suddenly, and Brown nearly lost his equilibrium.
"Admiral Fairbanks's flagship!" incredulously. "Why, I thought you had
taken service with Mendoza."
Brown recovered balance.
"Yes, Mr. Mendoza has hired me to work for him at Mission San José, and
I was on Ad_my_ral Fairbanks's ship this mornin'."
"How in the name of common sense, man, can you reconcile the two
things?"
"Well, Cap', let me say, there's some things I won't speak of, seein'
they're political and we're on different sides."
"Never mind, Brown; tell me how you came to be with Fairbanks to-day."
"Well, Cap', yesterday mornin' a bunch of Injuns were rowin' me out to
one of our warships, for what purpose I'll not say."
"All right, Brown. It was doubtless at Half Moon Bay. But never mind,
go on."
"Well, Cap', whether it was or not, we got lost in the fog. Never saw
so thick a fog. Couldn't see a rowlock."
"Yes, yes."
"Well, my Injuns rowed and rowed, and palavered, and what not. Then,
they began cryin' and prayin'-like, and I understood we was lost.
Hours went by. Waves began splashin' into the boat later, and I knew
we had got out to sea. Innards felt awkward. Small boat's a mean
place for seasickness."
"Brown, I mean no offense, but will you not tell me, in a few words,
how you happened into Fairbanks's flagship?"
"Sure. Fine ship she is. You ever been on board, Cap'?"
Farquharson laughed.
"You are the same old Brown, I see. Now, forge ahead."
"Sure pop, Cap'. Injuns finally gave up, dropped oars and lay down in
the bottom of the boat. I didn't blame 'em; fact there was as much
sense in that as doin' anything else, under the circumstances."
The Englishman leaned on the pommel and waited resignedly.
"All suddenly the wind began to blow harder. Whew! but she came
a-kitin'. Seen the same thing many a time on the Mississippi River.
Boat pitched like a log fallin' down hill. Boss Injun grabbed the
tiller, and howled jabber-talk at the others like all-possessed.
Oarsmen got their paddles goin' in no time. Didn't think such quick
work was in the critters."
"Brown--I'm--listening."
"All right, Cap'. I'll go on talkin'. Well, fog began clearin'. The
Injuns took heart; put the boat about and started off for somewhere.
First thing I knew, we were in trouble again. The ocean pitched wors'n
before, though the wind had eased up. Soon, sir, our boat lifted clear
of the water and dived down like a duck. Yes, sir!"
"Yes."
"Seems to me I went along on down for ten fathoms anyway. Awfullest
commotion under there you ever heard of. All the time I was thinkin',
yes, sir, thinking that as much as I wanted adventure I wasn't lookin'
for it on the bottom of the ocean.
"Then, I began whirlin', till I didn't know anything. First I remember
I was top of the waves once more, sort o' dazed like, and whippin' away
from us, like a hurricane, was an all-fired big ship. She was just
a-clippin' it, knots and knots per hour. You see, we'd been caught in
her wash, and just naturally capsized."
"Yes, yes. It was the flagship, was it?"
"Certain, Cap', and neat work she did pickin' us up. I was floatin' on
my back, tryin' to think, when a rowboat came along. A couple of
sailors caught me by my midships and shirt collar. In no time I was
across a thwart, head hangin' down, and the sea-water just boilin' out
o' my mouth. Sooner than I could tell it every one of the Injuns was
aboard and likewise bein' deprived of the water they'd swallowed.
"Well, the big boat slowed up and waited. Our rowboat was soon
alongside, and we were hauled up."
"So, Fairbanks brought you to Monterey and dropped you on that fishing
smack. Brown, I'm glad you've met with an adventure at last. The
fleet was off the harbor when you left, was it not? The entire seven
ships, I mean."
"Cap', the seven ships were out there all right. But I don't consider
that capsizin' my real adventure. No, sir!"
"You met another mishap?" turning his bridle-rein, and looking at the
signal smoke. "I hope it terminated as well for you as the first.
What was it?"
"Nary mishap. Last night I had an interview with the Ad_my_ral."
Farquharson's attention quickly turned back to Brown. "An interview
with Fairbanks?"
"Yes. And I had another this afternoon, a bunch of officers bein'
present. I consider these interviews worthy of the name of adventure."
"Man, man, what are you talking about?"
"About interviews and adventures, Cap'. You were askin' about 'em. Do
you mind my telling you, friend Cap', that you seem sort o' forgetful
and absent-mindedlike? Guess I'll be goin'." The American made a move
to depart and held out his hand to Farquharson.
"No, no, Brown, don't go. I'll pull my wits together. I'm more than
interested. Your interviews appeared so big to me that I couldn't just
catch it at first. Now, please tell me all about it."
"All right, Cap'. Since you're so interested I'll begin at the
beginnin'. First, I and the Injuns were taken to a real nice place.
Beds were there, and everything looked fine. A feller in uniform came
'round, the ship's doctor, and ordered me to 'get out o' those
clothes.' My clothes were wet and uncomfortable, anyway, so I didn't
mind 'em off, and off they came. He poked and pulled me most
unmerciful. 'You're not hurt,' said he, when I'd got so mad I wouldn't
have stood another poke. 'I'd have told you that in the beginnin',' I
informed him. Then to another uniformed feller he called. 'Brandy for
him, a full gill, and get him some dry clothes.' Well, the Injuns----
"Brown, let's come to that interview as soon as we can. Of course I
would like to hear every particular, but time is rather short just now,
and I do want to hear all about your talk with the Admiral."
Farquharson's horse caught his master's impatience and pranced around
the American. Brown pivoted, keeping his face turned to the Captain.
"Now, see here, Cap', if I tell you it all, it's likely to rile you up.
But it's no secret. I'd be willin' to tell it to anybody; and, between
man and man, I'd rather you'd hear it from me than from somebody else.
On the whole, I'm glad I've a chance to tell you, myself, bein' that
we've been such good friends. 'Course, Cap', I'd be sorry to lose your
friendship, but politics is politics, and I talked to the Ad_my_ral to
boost my own side, which same side is the United States."
"Go on, Brown. I hope you will tell it all. I know very well which
side you're on, and, as you say, 'Politics is politics!'"
"All right, just as you say, Cap'. A uniformed man brought me some
clothes. He was chaplain. Nice, clever young feller he was. I soon
got into them clothes. I engaged him in conversation, as to his place
of residence, and so forth. Then he engaged me." Brown's language
assumed company dress for the moment. He straightened up, took off his
hat, and continued:
"The chaplain said to me, 'You're familiar with Monterey, are you?'
'Yes,' I said. 'I was 'round there considerable when I worked for
Cap'n Farquharson.' Cap', he knew you like a book. Said I, 'The Cap'n
is smart on politics, but his politics don't go in California.' 'Why
not?' he asked me. 'We won't have it,' I said. 'Who?' he asked again.
'The American nation,' I said, 'represented by the American fleet,
"Seenyore" Mendoza, and no end of Spanish big fellers. They're clear
agen it, and so am I.'
"The chaplain perked up a good deal at this. I went on. '"Seenyore"
Mendoza, my present employer, fought old Napoleon,' said I. 'The
"Seenyore" came here, I reckon, to get rid of tyrants. He'll fight to
the last ditch before he'll let any of 'em get in here, and I'm with
him.'
"The young preacher looked some serious now. He went away after a
while."
"Go on, Brown, please."
"All right, Cap'. The name of the Ad_my_ral's boat is the Vanguard, I
forgot to say. Well, after supper the preacher came 'round again.
'The Ad_my_ral wants to see you,' he said."
"You went, of course; and what happened there?"
"I could see from the start the preacher was strong with the Ad_my_ral.
'Mr. Blair tells me you are familiar with Monterey,' the Ad_my_ral
said. 'I'm pretty familiar,' I told him. The Ad_my_ral's room's fixed
up fine, almost like Mr. Mendoza's parlor, only not so big. 'You're
the Brown who was in Cap'n Farquharson's service for a time?' he asked
knowin'-like. 'If you mean his employ, yes,' I said. 'I've heard the
Cap'n speak of you as an honest feller,' he went on pleasant enough,
but watchin' sharp's a cat at a mouse-hole. I remarked to him, 'I and
all my folks are honest, makin' it a point to be square in money
matters.'
"'You've quit Cap'n Farquharson's employ?' he asked. 'Yes,' I said.
'How was that?' said he. 'O, for reasons,' said I, and shut up like a
clam. You see, Cap', he was askin' personal questions, which I don't
allow no man, providin' I don't want to answer.
"In a minute he inquired casuallike, 'You're now in the employ of
"Seenyore" Mendoza, is that it?' I replied very shortlike, 'I am,' and
started to shut up like another clam, then I thought better of it and
blurted out, 'The "Seenyore" is determined no king sets up in business
'round this part o' the world.'
"'Where does this "Seenyore" live?' asked the Ad_my_ral. 'At Mission
San José,' I told him. 'Mission San José? How long?' 'Ever since he
quit fightin' old Napoleon, I reckon,' I said. I tell you, that
Ad_my_ral's eyes opened wide. 'Has the "Seenyore" a following in the
province?' he asked.
"I was gettin' pretty mad about then. I told him about the riflemen
Mr. Mendoza has drillin', and drillin', Spaniards, Injuns, and all.
"Well, the Ad_my_ral looked away and looked away. Then suddenly he
asked, 'Describe Mendoza's appearance.' I pretty soon did. 'Yes, the
same man,' he said.
"He was awful quiet for a minute, then he spoke out to himself like.
'Why has no one told me about Mendoza's activities here? He's a man to
be taken into consideration. I knew him years ago.'
"Finally the Ad_my_ral said, 'I'll test it out. Sail into Monterey,
just as we'd planned.'
"I spoke up, 'Monterey don't want you. If anybody says they do, it's
politics. Mebbe you can shoot all these cannon at 'em tell they
couldn't fight back any more, but just the same they don't want you.'
"The Ad_my_ral looked mighty queer. When I left he was still thinkin'
and thinkin'.
"We sailed into Monterey harbor and out again, I still stayin' on the
Ad_my_ral's boat, bein's I couldn't get off, the walkin' not bein'
exactly what you'd call good.
"First thing I knew, I was in the Ad_my_ral's room a second time. A
power of officers were there from the other ships. 'Repeat your
statement of last night, if you will,' he asked of me. Well, I did.
Then the Ad_my_ral spoke up, 'The man's words were verified this
mornin' by the fort firin' on us.'
"The officers looked black as thunder. One big feller said, 'Reduce
their defenses and invest the city at once.' the Ad_my_ral replied,
'I've no call to take Monterey, if she's unwillin', and I'll not do it.'
"Another officer spoke up, savage as the dickens. 'The honor of her
Majesty's navy is assailed. Let the fleet take over the city!' 'Not
while I'm commandin' the fleet,' put in the Ad_my_ral.
"They were talkin' when I left. Mebbe they're at it yet. The fishboat
was waitin' for me and the Injuns. She skimmed through the waves like
grease, and here I be."
"Confounded chicken-hearted cad!" the Captain exploded.
"How!" from Brown sharply.
"I refer to Fairbanks."
"Fine old gent. Even if his politics does differ from mine I'm not
agen him as such."
Farquharson stared at the sea. "Well, your friend Fairbanks, the
Admiral, has done what might be expected from him."
"I reckon you know him better'n I do."
"Brown, you have done devilish work." Farquharson's face turned on the
other.
"Cap', if it's harm to you personal, I'm sorry. If it's to your side
in politics, as I reckon it is, I'm all-fired glad."
The Captain continued looking at Brown for a minute. His frown faded.
"You've had your adventure, old man, and you've hunted big game. Yes,
by Jove! and bagged it too." A curious smile crept over his features.
"Well, I haven't got it with me, Cap'."
"Say, Brown, when you went out yesterday toward that warship of yours,
did you see that the Cyane----"
"No, you don't, Cap'. That there's where secrets come in, secrets from
you and your side."
"Boom! Boom!--Boom! Boom! Boom!--Boom! Boom!" sounded from the sea.
Farquharson listened intently.
The signal was repeated. "Boom! Boom!--Boom! Boom! Boom!--Boom!
Boom!"
"Yerba--Buena--to-morrow," Farquharson muttered, anger clinching his
teeth, as his horse, under a vicious jab of the spur, dashed forward
and into the town, unceremoniously leaving Brown.
"Signaling, hey? Them cannons were boomers, all right. I've been
noticing that smoke, back up on the hills, all the time I was talkin'
to the Cap', and I expected to see or hear somethin' answer back."
He walked leisurely through the plaza and reached the city just in time
to see Farquharson and Señora Valentino ride away in hurried gallop.
"Ah, ah! Simon J. Brown, get to work yourself. Find a horse and light
out for the north."