"He hit me fust."
"He gimme de probumcation, judge."
"Nebber touched dat nigger tell he up en hit me wid er cheer."
They were two Houston negroes, and they were up before the recorder
for fighting.
"What did you strike this man with a chair for?" asked the recorder.
"I wuz playin' de French hahp, judge, to de ball ob de Sebem
'Mancipated Sons ob de Lebem Virgins, en Sam Hobson he wuz playin' de
guitar fur de niggers to dance by. Dis here coon what I hit thinks he
kin play de French hahp, too, but he kaint."
"Dat's a lie, I kin play--"
"Keep still," said the recorder sternly. "Go on with your statement."
"I wuz playin' en up comes dis here coon what I hit. He am pow'ful
jealous ob my playin' en he wuz mad 'coz de flo' committee selected me
to puhfahm. While I wuz playin' dis obstrepelous coon came right close
up to me en he say: 'Watermillions be gittin' ripe now in nudder
mont'. I keeps on playin'. He says: 'Sposin' you had a great big ripe
watermillion, wid red meat en black seeds.' I keeps on playin'. He
says: 'You take him en bus him open on a rock, en you scoop up a big
han'ful ob de heart, en you look all roun' en nobody come.' I keeps on
playin. He says: 'You cram de heart in yo' mouf, en crunch down on
hit, en de juice hit run down yo' ahm en hit run down yo' chin to yo'
neck, en de sweetness run down you' th'oat.' Den my mouf water so it
fill dat French hahp plum full, en de music stop, en de flo' committee
look aroun'. Den I up wit a chair en bus' dis coon ober de head, en I
flings myself on de mussy ob dis co't, kase, Mars Judge, you knows
what dese here sandy lan' watermillions is yo'sef."
"Get out of here, both of you," said the recorder. "Next case."
(_Houston Daily Post_, Sunday morning, May 17, 1896.)