"Yesterday was the fortieth birthday of Mr. James Milfly. He passed it
quietly at the office and at home. No congratulatory messages were received
and no replies will be sent."
"Among the outgoing passengers on the paddle steamer _Solent Tortoise_, on
Tuesday, was Mr. James Milfly. He returned to the mainland the same
evening, and will be at Southsea four days longer, after which, unless he
can think of an adequate excuse, he will return to town."
"Mr. James Milfly, who recently sustained a laceration of the finger while
cleaning his safety razor after use, passed another good night. The injured
member is healing satisfactorily, and no further bulletins will be issued."
"The performance of _The Bibulous Butler_ at the Corinthian Theatre last
night was witnessed by Mr. James Milfly and party, who occupied two seats
in the eighth row of the pit."
"Mr. James Milfly is a guest for the week-end at Acacia Lodge, Clumpton,
the residence of his old friend, Mr. Albert Purges. Excellent sparrow-
shooting was enjoyed after tea on Saturday in the famous home coverts from
which the lodge derives its title."
"Among those unable to be present at the Duchess of Dibdale's reception on
Friday was Mr. James Milfly, no invitation having reached him."
"Mr. James Milfly has been granted his wife's authority to wear on his
watch-chain the bronze medal of the Blimpham Horticultural Society, won by
his exhibit of a very large marrow at the society's recent show."
"Maria, Mrs. Murdon, is visiting her son-in-law, Mr. James Milfly. Her stay
is likely to be a lengthy one."
"Mr. James Milfly will spend the greater part of to-morrow in London. No
letters will be forwarded."
Try this for yourself. You have no idea what a sense of pomp and well-fed
importance it gives you.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Kirk Elder._ "MAN, I'M SHOCKED TAE HEAR YOU'RE GAUN TAE GET
MARRIT TAE A LASSIE O' NINETEEN."
_Angus._ "OCH, SHE'S THE SAME AGE AS MA FIRRST WIFE WHEN I MARRIT _HER_."]
* * * * *
"THE WEATHER.
'Fair generally: night frosts,' is the forecast for the next 24
months."--_Provincial Paper._
The best news for a long time.
* * * * *