It is an odd kink of humanity which cannot find any valuation in
spots of natural glory. But such kinks do run riot in Man's mind,
occasionally, and Branton Hills ran up against such, on a Council
night; for a bill was brought up by Old Bill Simpkins for disposal of
City Park to a land company, for building lots! At first word of such
a thought, Gadsby was totally dumb, from an actual impossibility of
thinking that any man, bringing up such a bill, wasn't plumb crazy!
"_What!_ Our main Park; including our Zoo?"
"Just that," said Simpkins. "Just a big patch of land, and a foolish
batch of animals that do nobody any good. You can't hitch a lion up to
a city dump cart, you know; nor a hippopotamus to a patrol wagon. What
good is that bunch of hair and horns, anyway? And that park! _Bah!!_
Just grass, grass, grass! Branton Hills pays for planting that grass,
pays for sprinkling it, pays for cutting it--and _throws it away!_ So I
say, put it into building lots, and draw good, solid cash from it."
An Italian Councilman, Tony Bandamita, was actually boiling during
this outburst; and, in a flash, as Simpkins quit, was up, shouting:--
"I gotta four bambinos. My bambinos playa in thatta park: run, jumpa
and rolla. Grow bigga an' strong. My woman say no coulda do thatta if
playa all day on bricka walks. I say no buncha land sharks buya thatta
Park!! How many you guys go to it, anyway? Huh? Notta many! But _go!!_
Walk around; sniffa its blossoms; look at grand busha; sit on softa
grass! You do thatta, an' _I_ know you not stick no building on it!!"
So, at Mayor Gadsby's instigation, Council did not ballot on Simpkins'
bill; and said it would go, as Tony thought only right, and "look atta
gooda busha."
In a day or two this pompous body of solons was strolling about that
big park. No man with half a mind could fail to thrill at its vistas of
shrubs, ponds, lawns, arbors, fancy fowl, small pavilions and curving
shady pathways. As Gadsby was "takinga his owna looka," Old Bill
Simpkins, coming a-snorting and a-fussing along, sang out, gruffly:--
"All right; this is it! This is that grand patch of grass that pays
Branton Hills no tax!"