I think that now you should know this charming Gadsby family; so I will
bring forth Lady Gadsby, about whom I told you at Gadsby's inauguration
as Mayor; a loyal church woman with a vocal ability for choir work;
and, with good capability on piano or organ, no woman could "fill in"
in so many ways; and no woman was so willing, and quick to do so.
Gadsby had two sons; bright lads and popular with all. Julius was of
a studious turn of mind, always poring through books of information;
caring not what kind of information it was, so long as it was
information, and not fiction. Gadsby had thought of his growing up as a
school instructor, for no work is so worthy as imparting what you know
to any who long to study. But William! Oh, hum!! Our Mayor and Lady
Gadsby didn't know just _what_ to do with him; for all his thoughts
clung around girls and fashions in clothing. Probably our High School
didn't contain a girl who didn't think that, at no distant day, Bill
Gadsby would turn, from a callow youth, into a "big catch" husband; for
a Mayor's son in so important a city as ours was a mark for any girl
to shoot at. But Bill was not of a marrying disposition; loving girls
just _as_ girls, but holding out no hand to any in particular. Always
in first class togs, without missing a solitary fad which a young man
should adopt, Gadsby's Bill was a lion, in his own right, with no girl
in sight who had that tact through which a lasso could land around his
manly throat. Gadsby had many a laugh, looking back at his own boyhood
days, his various flirtations and such wild, throbbing palpitations as
a boy's flirtations can instill; and looking back through just such
ogling groups as now sought his offspring; until a girl, oh, _so_ long
ago, had put a stop to all such flirtations, and got that lasso on
"with a strangling hold," as Gadsby says; and it is still on, today! But
this family was not all boys. Oh, my, no! Two girls also sat around
that family board. First, following William, was Nancy, who, as Gadsby
laughingly said, "didn't know how to grow;" and now, in High School,
was "about as big as a pint of milk;" and of such outstanding charm
that Gadsby continually got solicitations to allow photographing for
soft-drink and similar billboard displays.
"No, sir!! Not for any sort of pay!! In allowing public distribution
of a girl's photo you don't know into what situations said photos will
land. I find, daily, photographs of girls blowing about vacant lots,
all soggy from rains; also in a ditch, with its customary filth; or
stuck up on a brick wall or drawn onto an imaginary body showing a
brand of tights or pajamas. _No, sir!!_ Not for _my_ girl!!"
Fourth in this popular family was Kathlyn, of what is known as a
"classical mold;" with a brain which, at no distant day, will rank high
in Biology and Microscopy; for Kathlyn was of that sort which finds
fascination in studying out many whats and whys amongst that vast array
of facts about our origin. This study, which too many young folks avoid
as not having practical worth had a strong hold on Kathlyn, who could
not sanction such frivolous occupations as cards, dancing, or plain
school gossip. Not for an instant! Kathlyn thought that such folks
had no thoughts for anything but transitory thrills. But in Biology!!
Ah!! Why not study it, and find out how a tiny, microscopic drop of
protoplasm, can, through unknown laws grow into living organisms, which
can not only go on living, but can also bring forth offspring of its
kind? And not only that. As said offspring must combat various kinds of
surroundings and try various foods, why not watch odd variations occur,
and follow along, until you find an animal, bird, plant or bug of such
a total dissimilarity as to form practically, a class actually apart
from its original form? Kathlyn did just that; and Gadsby was proud of
it; and I think, just a bit curious on his own part as to occasional
illustrations in this studious young lady's school books!
Now it is known by all such natural "faddists" that any such a study
has points in common with a branch akin to it; and Kathlyn was not long
in finding out that Biology, with its facts of animal origin, could
apply to a practical control of bugs on farms. (This word, "bugs," is
hardly Biological; but as Kathlyn is in this story, with its strict
orthographical taboo, "bugs" must unavoidably supplant any classical
nomination for such things.)
So, Mayor Gadsby sought Branton Hills' Council's approval for a goodly
sum; not only for such control, but also for study as to how to plant,
in ordinary soil, and not risk losing half a crop from worms, slugs
and our awkwardly-brought-in "bugs." This appropriation was a sort of
prod, showing this Council that publicity of any first-class kind was
good for a city; and was casting about for anything which would so
act, until Gadsby's son, Bill, (who, you know, thought of nothing but
girls and "dolling up,") found that Branton Hills had no distinction
of its own in outfits for man or woman, so why not put up a goal of,
say fifty dollars, for anybody who could think up any worthy "stunt"
in clothing; which should go out as "Branton Hills' This" or "Branton
Hills' That." Possibly just a form of hat-brim, a cut of coat-front,
or a sporting outfit. And our worthy Council did put up that goal, and
many brought all sorts of plans to City Hall. And Bill won, by thinking
up a girls' (always girls, with Bill!) hiking outfit, consisting of a
skirt with a rain-proof lining, which could, during a storm, form a
rain-suit by putting it on, as Bill said, "by substituting outwards for
inwards." (This will hit Bill amusingly, as days go by!) Going with it
was a shirt with a similar "turn-out" facility, and a hiking boot with
high tops as guards against thorns and burs; but which, by undoing a
clasp, would slip off; and, LO!! you had a low-cut Oxford for ordinary
occasions! In about a month a big cotton mill had work going full blast
on "Branton Hills' Turn-it-out Sport and Hiking Outfit," and a small
boot-shop got out a pair of Bill's "two-part boots," though saying
that it would "probably fall apart without warning!" But Kathlyn put
on a pair and found it most satisfactory for a long, rough hill-climb,
hunting for bird and animal forms for Biological study. This proof of
Branton Hills' goods was soon known in surrounding towns, and that
critical boot-shop and big cotton mill had hard work to fill calls
from Canada, Holland, Russia, Spain and Australia! And Bill was put upon
Branton Hills' Roll of Honor.
X
Now I'll drop civic affairs for a bit, and go on to a most natural
act in this city of many young chaps and charming young girls which
was slowly working up all through this history, as Mayor Gadsby had
occasion to find out, sitting comfortably on his porch on a hot, sultry
August night. Amidst blossoming shrubs, a dim form slowly trod up his
winding pathway. It was a young man, plainly trying to act calmly, but
couldn't. It was Frank Morgan, our radio broadcasting "boss", you know,
who, for many a month, had shown what a romantic public calls "a crush"
for Gadsby's young Nancy.
So a jolly call of:--"What's on your mind, boy?" rang out, as Frank
sank wiltingly into a hammock, wiping his brow of what I _actually_
know was _not_ natural humidity from an August night! Now Gadsby, who
was, as I said, a gay Lothario in his own youth, saw right off what
was coming, and sat back, waiting. Finally, finishing a bad attack of
coughing, (though Frank hadn't any cold!), that young man said:--
"I,--that is, Nancy and I,--or, I will say that I want to,--that is,--I
think Nancy and I would--" and Gadsby took pity on him, right off.
Nancy had always had a strong liking for Frank. Both had grown up in
Branton Hills from babyhood; and Gadsby thought back about that lasso
which had brought him Lady Gadsby. Now asking a girl's Dad for that
young lady's hand is no snap for any young swain; and Gadsby was just
that kind of a Dad who would smooth out any bumps or rough spots in
such a young swain's path. Nancy wasn't a child, now, but a grown-up
young woman; so Gadsby said:--
"Frank, Lady Gadsby and I know all about how much you think of Nancy;
and what Nancy thinks of you. So, if you want to marry, our full wish
is for a long and happy union. Nancy is out in that arbor, down this
back path; and I'll watch that nobody disturbs you two for an hour."
At this grand turn of affairs, Frank could only gasp:--"OH-H-H!!" and
a shadowy form shot down that dusky path; and from that moonlit arbor,
anybody knowing how a man chirps to a canary bird, would know that two
young birds put a binding approval upon what His Honor had just said!!
Many a man has known that startling instant in which Dan Cupid, that
busy young rascal, took things in hand, and told him that his baby
girl was not a baby girl now, and was about to fly away from him. It
is both a happy and a sad thrill that shoots through a man at such an
instant. Happy and joyous at his girl's arrival at maturity; sad, as
it brings to mind that awkward fact that his own youth is now but a
myth; and that his scalp is showing vacant spots. His baby girl in a
bridal gown! His baby girl a Matron! His baby girl proudly placing a
_grandchild_ in his lap!! It's an impossibility!! But this big world
is full of this kind of impossibility, and will stay so as long as Man
lasts.
So Nancy, tiny, happy, laughing Nancy, was "found" through a conspiracy
by Dan Cupid and Frank Morgan; and right in all glory of youth.
_Youth!!_ Ah, what a word!! And how transitory! But, how grand! as long
as it lasts. How many millions in gold would pour out for an ability to
call it all back, as with our musical myth, Faust. During that magic
part of a child's growth this world is just a gigantic inquiry box,
containing many a topic for which a solution is paramount to a growing
mind. And to whom can a child look, but us adults? Any man who "can't
stop now" to talk with a child upon a topic which, to him is "too silly
for anything," should look back to that day upon which _that_ topic
was dark and dubious in his own brain. A child who asks nothing will
know nothing. That is why that "bump of inquiry" was put on top of our
skulls.